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Angel headed back to the dressing room to get out of his costume. They weren't doing full dress rehearsals quite yet, but Angel could reluctantly admit that Velvette was very good at what she did, therefore he couldn't help but want to wear the pieces he’d gotten so far while he rehearsed. The piece he was currently wearing fit him like a glove and was a beautiful blend of masculine and feminine. Angel was obsessed with it a bit and he had every intention of buying it off Velvette after the show was over. Or he'd just steal it. That seemed more fun.
It helped that when he stepped out of the wings earlier, Husk had fully dropped the two by four he'd been holding and stared, jaw practically on the floor. Angel knew he was hot, but having Husk literally stop in his tracks and stare… well, that made Angel feel a very specific way that he hadn't felt in a very long time. A way that he really didn't want to examine too closely.
He closed the dressing room door behind himself and walked over to the vanity, allowing himself another look before he removed the costume. He turned this way and that, looking at himself from all angles. It even made it look like he had an ass, which was nice for a change. He wondered to himself if Husk had liked that specifically. He could never get Husk to admit if he was an ass man or not.
As he started working on the back lacing (of course Velvette did fucking lacing for a local theater production, she was so fucking extra), the door opened. Angel’s eyes glanced up, expecting to see Cherri or Charlie, only to lock eyes with Valentino's reflection in the mirror.
He didn't allow himself to show the flash of fear he felt.
The door closed heavily behind Valentino and he leaned against it, his eyes wandering over Angel’s form shamelessly. He'd been able to avoid being alone with Valentino during this whole production. Angel should've known it would only be a matter of time before he was finally cornered.
“Well, well, well. Don't you just look gorgeous, Angel baby.” Valentino pushed himself off the door and walked over to Angel slowly. The gaze in his eyes could only be described as predatory.
There had been a time in his life when that look would’ve gotten Angel excited. There had been a time when Val stalking towards him the way he was had felt like a sexy game of cat and mouse. There had been a time when the sight of Valentino had made Angel feel like he was ascending. The good ol’ days... until they weren’t.
“What do ya want, Val?” Angel asked, moving his hands to the tabletop of the vanity. He was no longer interested in getting undressed. Valentino no longer had the privilege of seeing Angel naked.
Unfortunately, Valentino seemed to take that as his sign to take over undressing Angel. He gripped the laces at the back of Angel’s costume and started pulling at them. Angel yanked himself away, turning around to push Valentino back, but Valentino just grabbed him and pushed him onto the vanity, caging him in. Angel was sure he heard the fabric rip.
“Get offa me,” Angel snapped, though his voice did give away a bit of that fear he'd thought he'd succeeding in tamping down. He wasn't weak, but Valentino had height on him. A hand grabbed his jaw and forced him to look up.
“Angelcakes, don't be like that. I've missed you,” Valentino said smoothly. Angel glared.
“The feelin’ ain't mutual.”
Valentino stared down at him, smirking. His grip loosened just slightly. Angel was in the midst of working out a quick plan in his head to kick him in the dick and get away, when Valentino's grip moved to his cheeks and lips were pressed to his in a forceful kiss.
There had been a time when Valentino’s kisses were everything to Angel. When he'd been younger, easier to manipulate, less jaded by life at large.
But now, his kiss was nothing but venom, the toxicity making Angel feel like he could stop breathing at any moment. Angel could already feel his mind trying to slip, the way it would at the end of his relationship with Val. When Val would force himself on him and Angel just let it happen, disappearing to his fantasies to escape the reality he was stuck in. He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let Valentino win. He was stronger than that. So he kept shoving, wanting it to stop. Tears came to his eyes. Valentino's tongue forced its way into Angel’s mouth while his hands spread Angel’s thighs so he could slot himself better between them.
All while Angel thrashed against him, trying in vain to get him to fucking stop.
When he heard the dressing room door fly open, Angel couldn't help the relief that flooded his system. Valentino pulled away to turn to the distraction and Angel shoved him back even more to get away, pulling his knees up to his chest and looking over at his savior. Unfortunately, it wasn't a knight in shining armor at the door- it was fucking Vox.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me,” Vox sneered, his volume rising with each word, before he turned and stormed out of the room. Valentino fully turned away from Angel then, following after his… whatever the fuck they were.
“Vooooox! Come back!” he called out, not even bothering to shut the door. Angel only waited a moment before he was running over to close it again, making sure to lock it this time.
His hands were shaking as he finally removed his costume. Once it was off, he noticed the tear in the fabric. Velvette was going to fucking murder him for that. He had no doubt she would take Valentino’s side over his.
When he looked back at his reflection in the mirror, he saw a mess. His eyeliner and mascara were running down his face, and his eyes were bright with tears. It was obvious to anyone looking at him that he was upset. That he had cried.
He wanted to go home so badly. But rehearsal wasn't over.
After cleaning himself and returning his costume to Velvette- and making a mad dash before she noticed the tear- he went back to the stage.
He briefly made eye contact with Husk before looking away. He couldn't handle his gaze, not while having the taste of Valentino’s tongue still in his mouth. Angel sat down on the side of the stage opposite where Husk was working, and opened his script just to have something to appear to occupy him. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and took it out to see a text from Husk.
Angel sighed as he stared at the text. His hands were shaking as he responded.
He could feel Husk’s eyes on him, but he refused to look up at him. The shame of what happened was enough to eat him alive.
He could practically hear Husk’s words spoken into existence, the fierceness with which he would say them. Husk loved to pretend that he was unaffected by everything, that he didn’t care, but Angel knew the truth. Angel knew how deeply Husk cared. It had been a hard road to get to see that side of Husk, what with both of them being addicts with their own vices, both of them hiding behind walls as tall as skyscrapers. Gaining his trust, his friendship, had been one of the biggest wins in Angel’s mind. Falling for him had just been an unfortunate side effect, knowing that there was no possible way he could ever deserve someone with a heart like Husk’s.
He wanted to be honest. Instead, he fell back into his old ways. He was an actor, after all.
Husk’s response was immediate. It made Angel’s insides twist painfully.
Angel sucked in a shaky breath and stared at his phone. He wished he could stop feeling Husk’s gaze on him. He wished Valentino’s phantom gaze would disappear as well.
He sent his own response in two short and succinct texts, before turning his phone fully off and shoving it back into his pocket.
Angel tried his best during the rest of the rehearsal to be in the moment, to put his best foot forward. He wasn’t sure he succeeded entirely, but he got through it, and that was what mattered. Right?
So what if his hands continued to shake throughout? So what if his mind just kept wandering to how nice it would be to snort a line or pop a couple of pills, just to fucking forget what happened? So what if he couldn’t help but think that this was somehow his doing, that he asked for it all? That was what Valentino had always told him after all, that he was just addict trash. That people like him couldn't actually change. He thought maybe rehab would’ve helped him separate himself from such ugly words, and for a while he was sure that it did.
I was doing so good. I was stupid to think that could last forever.
He practically ran out of rehearsal at the end of the night, not wanting to be stopped by anyone. Not wanting to be stopped by Charlie, or Vaggi, or Niffty. Not wanting to be stopped by Cherri. Not wanting to be stopped by Husk. Hoping that maybe if he got away from the situation, the itch would go away.
It didn’t, but he ignored it. Angel kept his phone off the rest of the night. He showered, choked down some sleeping pills, and watched trashy reality TV until he finally passed out, though to say he got a restful night of sleep would be a lie. He tossed and turned and kept waking up from nightmares filled with sharp nails digging into his skin and a wicked smile closing in on him.
He spent the next day in bed, leaving his phone off. It was a little difficult to not give in to the urge to grab it every five minutes, yet he managed. He stared at the TV and disassociated like it was his fucking job. But the quiet of his mind eventually became a bit too much and he turned his phone back on. Notifications filled his screen, he cleared them immediately.
He texted Cherri, hopeful maybe she would at least be able to bring him some weed and it would give him at least a little bit of relief. He didn’t need anything hard (he was trying to convince himself), he just needed something. Anything. Weed would suffice.
When she responded saying she was on a date with Pentious, he quickly abandoned the idea. As loath as Cherri was to admit it, Angel knew she had a little crush on Pentious and he wasn’t about to get in the way of that potential blossom. Cherri deserved to have someone else in her life, someone who would love her in the way that he couldn't. For so long, it had just been the two of them against the world. Now it felt like she was moving ten steps forward and he was stuck and starting to fall behind.
He texted her that it was okay and to have fun on her date. He told her he was fine. He was fine. He had to be.
Angel showered again, feeling gross and stiff after a day of barely moving, and settled back into his bed. He found a random movie to watch and was considering ordering dinner, when his phone went off with a new message. Angel assumed it would be Cherri responding to his message. His stomach sank when he saw who it was.
Valentino.
Angel responded quickly, not wanting to deal with this any longer than he needed to.
He set his phone aside, thinking that would be it. When the damn thing went off again, he realized how stupid it was of him to think that Valentino would just give up that quickly. He picked it back up, feeling sick once again as he read the newest message.
Angel typed back furiously, wanting to get Valentino off his fucking back. Why hadn’t he blocked this fucker when he told Cherri he would?
Valentino responded so quickly. Angel was sure he had his response prepared, maybe even pre-typed out with how fast it came.
He needed to turn off his phone again. He needed to just turn it off, go to bed, try to forget these past couple of days even fucking happened. That would have been the smart thing to do, the right thing to do. But as much as he wanted that, the call of a real high after everything was overpowering. The trembling in his hands came back tenfold.
But he could do this. He could say no. He had to say no. For Husk, for Cherri, for himself. He was doing better. He was being better.
With that, he put his phone on silent and set it aside, determined to not look at it again. He could ignore Valentino. He could ignore the shaking of his hands. He could ignore the itch. He wanted to so badly, and that had to count for something. Right?
He laid in his bed, eyes staring unseeing at the TV, and the feeling of Val’s hands on his body returned. How fucked it was that reason he was feeling so fucked up was also the thing offering relief. Dangerous relief. But wasn’t that always how it was with Valentino? The reason he’d stayed with him so long in the first place? The danger overshadowed by the addiction.
Angel’s hands were grabbing his phone before he even really realized what he was doing. He opened his messages back up. There was a string of messages from Husk that he had ignored before.
He forced back tears as he read them. He just knew innately that what he was doing was going to hurt Husk. He really didn't want to hurt Husk. But drugs made him stupid. Valentino made him stupid. He closed back out of Husk’s messages and opened Valentino’s thread.
Valentino’s response was, once again, almost instantaneous.
Angel got up to quickly get dressed, praying his mind would go blank despite the war going on inside of him. He could only hope that his friends would forgive him. All he wanted was to forget, even if just temporarily.