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Noah was tired. Tired of the two-faced nature of his friends — the ones he grew up with, the ones he had spent half of his life with. Did he really fly to New York to meet Finn, wasting hours on a plane, just to find out mid-flight that SNL would make jokes about Will’s coming out? That’s so funny, right?
The caption under his Instagram post had been changed; in a burst of anger and despair, he removed any mention of his friends from the second-to-last post. Truly exhausted, Noah pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, rubbing it lightly. Damn it, he really should have stayed in Milan for at least one more day and gone out with a hot European man. Instead, he was flying straight to New York to his loser of a man, who had already appeared on SNL in a gay sweater. How pathetic is that?
The next few hours passed in numbness and an even more suspended state of mind. By the time he finally arrived at the hotel, the show had already started. Strange that he hadn’t even been invited. Were the skits really as bad as his gut feeling suggested?
Two hours later, Noah was sitting on the bed, staring at the ceiling. This was a nightmare. A complete nightmare.
Not only did Caleb, Gaten, and Finn make a joke about one of the hardest scenes of his entire life to film, but they did it how? Like, the three of them sitting in a restaurant? And then him — shaking from a panic attack, trying to say “I like dih?”
Those stupid scriptwriters had used the dumbest TikTok joke as a reference for the skit. Of course. What else had he expected?
Tears of hurt began to well up on their own. The SNL staff didn’t know how painful and difficult it had been to film that scene while still being in the closet. But Caleb knew. Gaten knew. Finn knew.
He filmed for twelve hours. In front of a full room of people. He had to face all of his worst demons just to not completely break down right there. His hands shook, breathing grew faster with every take. Was that not enough?
So they all lied to him? When they hugged him, when they comforted him on set. None of them cared. To him, they turned out to be empty liars.
Noah tried to justify them. Searched his mind for reasons why it could be funny. Forced himself to think that they had been made to do it. That they had no choice.
But damn it — was it really that hard to make at least some harmless changes to the script? Did they really need to humiliate him over and over again? Would this haunt him for the rest of his life?
All the joy from the Milan meeting with the casting director had long since faded. He was no longer happy about getting a new job. Right now, Noah wanted to disappear, because he realized that he truly could not trust anyone who had been by his side for almost his entire life. Good thing he had deleted that instagram caption in advance.
Suddenly, the hotel room door began to open. He didn’t even bother to look up to see who it was — he knew. It was Finn. Instead, Noah turned toward the large panoramic window, focusing all of his attention on the night city.
“Noah?” a quiet voice carried through the room, and then he felt the mattress dip under another person’s weight. “Hey, how was your flight? Are you very tired?”
Noah stayed silent. He kept staring out the window without looking away. Finn waited a few seconds for a response, then suddenly moved to his knees right in front of Noah’s side of bed, looking straight into his eyes. Noah had to turn his head away, now staring at the ceiling.
“Baby, are you okay?”
Seriously? He was asking that now?
Cold, long fingers appeared on his cheek. Noah instinctively shifted away, sitting up.
“Was it funny enough for you?”
Silence filled the room. For twenty seconds, there was no answer.
“…What?” Finn said uncertainly, clearly confused. God, how Noah wanted to do something reckless right now — something he would regret later.
“Was that skit funny to you, hm?”
Now Noah turned fully toward Wolfhard, putting on a huge, fake smile.
“So funny… so funny, right? Will just sits there, unable to say that he likes to "suck dick", ha-ha-ha! And absolutely no one gives a damn about what he — what I — had to go through while filming that damn scene!”
Schnapp jumped up from the bed, moving to the other side of the room.
“Noah…”
“No, Finn, shut up! Don’t ‘Noah’ me! You… you could’ve said something! Damn it, I wasn’t even invited to the show because of that scene, right? You didn’t care about my flight at all?”
Finn’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. Noah felt traitorous tears well up again.
“It’s so funny that I, while still in the closet, had to film that scene for twelve hours, basically coming out to you again and again and again. You — Finn — you were literally the host of the show. You could’ve done something!”
“Noah, listen. I didn’t think it would be so—”
“So what, hmm? Humiliating? Disgusting? Not funny?”
“I swear, I didn’t want them to put in that joke about the scene! They insisted, I just couldn’t—”
“BUT YOU COULD!” Noah’s shout echoed through the room as he finally broke down crying. Over the past month, he had read Twitter far too often. Seen all the TikTok comments. Seen the AI edits on YouTube where all the characters in the room laughed at Will. Killed him. Said he would pass on his ‘disease.’
Now it was deeper than a stupid joke. The coming out episode was literally the lowest-rated in the show’s history. It was cruel. Damn cruel.
Finn himself, still being in the closet, clearly couldn’t understand his pain. Couldn’t comprehend what it felt like. He didn’t know.
Noah saw tears standing in Finn’s eyes now, too. He didn’t feel sorry. Right now, he deserved it.
“I’m tired, Finn. I’m tired… I’ve been enduring this for months. Years.”
Wolfhard didn’t dare interrupt him. He just stood there, facing Noah with the most pathetic look in his eyes.
“I thought you — I thought you wouldn’t joke about this. You saw how hard it was for me during filming. And the fact that I stayed silent after we finally finished shooting that scene — that doesn’t mean I was okay. I’m NOT okay! I’m not okay, damn it!”
“Noah…”
“I thought I could trust you all. Caleb. Gaten. You. But I guess… I guess I was wrong. You don’t care at all. God, I’m such an idiot.”
After those words, Schnapp let out a matching, hysterical laugh, wiping his wet eyes.
In less than a second, Finn was on his knees in front of Noah, clutching his leg, pressing his face against it and desperately whispering:
“Noah, I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. I’m such an idiot, Noah. I love you. I’m sorry, please.” His voice broke halfway through, tears soaking into the fabric of Noah’s gray lounge pants. God — and how could anyone not forgive this fool?
But right now, for the first time in a long while, Noah wanted to be angry. Truly angry. Without giving any hope to this stupid, stupid boy with puppy eyes.
“I can’t, Finn. I need time. You hurt me.”
“Take as much time as you need, but please, just forgive me. I’ll do anything you want. Baby, please.”
More than once that evening, Noah thought it would’ve been nice to stay in Milan and let himself fall for some hot European man who could love him properly. Was that really so hard?
“You’re an idiot,” the brunet whispered, trying to pull away. Finn didn’t let him.
Apparently, tonight he would have to stay with his pathetic boyfriend. Next time, he didn’t know what he would do. Or whether he would do the right thing.