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new flatmate and old apprehensions
Flabbergasted. That was the best way to describe it. Lily Evans was Flabbergasted. And she had been all day, ever since she had opened the door of the Prefect's compartment. Ever since she saw him, standing in the middle of the crowd of Prefects with his shiny new badge.
She was so stunned that she had barely been able to speak ever since. She didn’t address him at all, nor did she look him in the eye, and she kept her speech to a minimum with the Prefects. Once back in her friends’ compartment, she shared a version that was uncharacteristically brief and undetailed for her standards and gave a timid wave at the other students when Dumbledore had called her name during the Headgirl and Headboy presentation.
The two new Headstudents were now trying their best at keeping up with Professor McGonagall's fast pace in the corridor on their way to their new private quarters. Once arrived on the 7th floor, instead of taking a right to reach the Gryffindor Common room, McGonagal took a left and led them to a corridor Lily had only rarely explored.
“You can access your private quarters with a touch of your palm on the painting framed here,” she pointed to a picture of a medieval office whose desk was crawling with books and jars that Lily had never noticed before. “I am the third and only person in this school who has access to these quarters. Miss Evans, can you please press your palm on the cover of the green book?”
Lily identified the book in question and drew her hand into the painting. The second her skin touched the green shade of the rugged fabric, a metallic unlocking resounded somewhere behind it. The painting pivoted on itself, very much like that of the Fat Lady, and opened to a charming, cosy room.
“Mr Potter, you will be able to use your own hand the same way to open the door. Please, let’s get in.” They entered the circular room, which reminded her a lot of the Gryffindor Common Room. On her right stood a big oak table with two comfortable-looking chairs, behind it a thick armchair facing a large fireplace. On her left, an open flight of stairs followed the room's circular shape and led to a unique door on the first floor. The walls under the stairs were lined with bookshelves, forming a snug reading area with two low armchairs and a coffee table. In its centre, a large window opening through the stairs and reaching the ceiling provided a striking view of the grounds. The rest of the walls were covered with numerous portraits of people, displayed in pairs, Lily assumed, of former Headgirls and Headboys. Under the staircase, precisely at the same spot as the door upstairs, was another door.
“Your rooms are identical, Mr Potter, yours is downstairs, Miss Evans, you are upstairs.” Lily nodded politely and kept looking around her, taking in all the new objects and furniture of that magnificent room. “I’ll let you get acquainted with your quarters now. I took the liberty of planning your first official Prefect meeting tomorrow night, in the Prefect Meeting Room. I suggest you work together beforehand to get ready for it.” At this comment, Lily’s amazement was suddenly replaced by the unpleasant recall that not only would she need to share this place with the guy, but also she would eventually have to work with him. “Here is the information you need with the list of Prefects and the list of official clubs existing among the students.” She gave each of them one thick leather file.
On that, Professor McGonagal turned around and left. As soon as she heard the door close behind her Headmistress, Lily realised that it was one of the first times she was alone in a room with him. Begrudgingly, she raised her eyes to meet his, already looking at her with an expression she had a hard time deciphering.
James Potter was taller than her, actually much taller than she even remembered. He had grown a few inches over the summer. Similarly, he seemed to have gotten thicker, or he had somehow managed to improve his gangly figure. His hair was still its usual mess on his head, the skin of his face was naturally flushed by a summer bronze which brought to light the honey in his irises. When Lily met his eyes again, she noticed that he was looking at her with raised eyebrows, and she realised that she had been scanning him for too long. She quickly came back to her senses and declared with determination:
“I think we should think about the rules tonight and meet in the morning to discuss them before classes start.”
“Seems fine to me,” he answered with a nod. “What time?”
“7 am, there?” she said, indicating the oak table.
“Okay, boss,” he replied with a simple smile. Without any more words, he turned around and disappeared into his room.
Against all expectations, she found him already sitting at the big table when she got down the last step at 6.59 am. He raised his head from a piece of paper he had been reading and welcomed her with a genuine smile.
“Morning, Evans, how was your sleep?” he asked. On the table in front of him was a big tray with two steaming pots, one of tea and one of coffee, half a dozen scones, two croissants and a few selections of jams.
“Do we get breakfast in our quarters?” she asked, bewildered, ignoring his question.
“I’m afraid we are not that lucky," he replied in a chuckle, pouring some tea into an empty mug and moving it towards her side of the table. “I woke up early and went down to the kitchens to find something,” he added. She stayed silent and stared at him in shock. Since when was he capable of being on time? And mindful? And how did he know she drank tea?
“Thanks,” she replied hesitantly as she sat down. She sipped some of the hot drink in silence. James was looking at her calmly, apparently waiting for her to initiate the meeting. She took the file McGonagal had given her from her bag, opened it and read the first handwritten line of the list she had prepared.
“First, I think it’s important that we agree on some rules for us as flatmates…” she began, expecting him to react.
“I agree,” he answered simply, very relaxed in his chair. She looked at him in defiance. How was he so calm? Wasn't he supposed to hate rules?
“Okay, so rule number one,” she went on, slightly disconcerted and still expecting him to burst into anger at the first occasion, “I think we should keep this space for personal work or head duties, and not have anyone else over to hang out or have parties...”
“I agree,” he replied again with a calm smile.
“You agree?” she repeated, astonished.
“I do,” he replied. “I don’t see the point of inviting my friends here,” he explained. “This is a place for work, and boy, are we gonna need some quiet space for what’s coming up!” His answer left her speechless for a bit. He took advantage of her silence to bite into a scone.
“Alright, so we agree, we welcome no guests...” she carried on, scribbling a check mark at the end of her first line, “..I mean, of course, except for specific people we would have agreed on previously…”
“What kind of specific people?“ he asked, amused. "Do you mean like your boyfriend?” Her face got instantly red.
“I don’t have a boyfriend... anymore," she answered in a low voice, staring purposefully at her list. It was true, she had broken up with him just before summer.
Jarod Greengrass had been her boyfriend for almost a year. Even if at first sight he seemed like a Hufflepuff sweetheart, he had made her life miserable. He had proven to be very good at manipulating her feelings and was driving her crazy on a daily basis. She had tried over and over to change him and his opinion about blood status, but after too many fights, she had finally resolved to leave him. She had learned a few days later that he had been cheating on her with most of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team female players. She was much better off without him.
“Oh.. sorry about that,” he said with a genuine look on his face.
“I’m not,” she replied drily. “So what I meant by that,” she went on like there had been no interruption, “is that I really don’t wanna see or interact with your casual girlfriends all the time.” He laughed good-naturedly.
“You’re kidding, right?” he asked, laughing still. As an answer, Lily looked at him with a blank expression. “Do you really think I’m like that?” he asked, truly surprised.
“Well, aren’t you that kind of guy?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Perhaps there was a time I behaved poorly with some girls, but that was years ago... I’m really not interested in this sort of thing anymore,” he explained. She looked at him with an inquisitive glance while studying his facial expression.
“Okay..” she replied, somewhat unconvinced. “That or any other funny business, really. I can’t handle being bother–”
“You don’t believe me, do you?” he cut her, his smile starting to extinguish.
“Well.. It’s just..” she hesitated. “No, I don’t believe you,” she finally affirmed and met him in the eyes. “And I don’t know what this whole act is,” she added, gesturing towards him with her hand.
“What act?” he asked, showing early signs of defiance.
“Like you being a Headboy for instance,” she spat, maintaining eye contact.
“You don’t approve, do you?” he asked, his tone dry and face now locked from any expression.
“Of course I don’t! This is just ridiculous!” she blurted out, resentment flooding through her after being stuck inside for too many hours. “There were so many better candidates, more serious, more mature! I don’t know what came through Dumbledore’s head…” she went on, unable to stop the flow of words escaping her mouth.
“Well, that's the thing, innit?” he intervened before she could go on. “Dumbledore made the call! Are you putting his reasoning into question?” he asked, showing an intensity she was all too familiar with.
“Of course I’m not!” she replied, very much taken aback.
“But you just were!” he exclaimed, anger transpiring through his face. “Maybe I should remind you, ô Saint Evans, that I am not accountable to you! Whether you like it or not, I was selected as much as you were, and we now have the same status. And I don’t need to convince you that I’m fit for the part. Dumbledore made the call, and he’s the only person I need to prove things to! You being upset about it won't change a thing!”
He had struck her silent, and she was left looking at him with wide eyes. He went on after a brief pause with a more composed voice: “I’m not gonna lie and say that I wasn’t surprised when I got the badge. But it’s not because I don’t have your impeccable curriculum that I’m not gonna do everything in my power to live up to the role." He stopped talking for a bit, looking in any direction but her eyes, drinking his coffee, his jaw tightly clenched.
Her automatic instinct, at least the one shaped over years of heated arguments with the guy, would have been to respond even more aggressively and let things escalate. But she knew she would fight a losing battle because, for the first time in their history, she was actually the one who was completely and utterly wrong. And that stung. She could have argued just for the sake of it, but deep down she knew James would get the last word.
So for a brief moment, she stayed silent and kept her eyes on her list. She felt truly ashamed and was slowly realising that her resentment towards the new Headboy had led her to miss the crucial point that it was Dumbledore who had made the decision. It had been proven enough in the past that their Headmaster was always a step ahead of everyone in his reasoning. James was right; who was she to question it?
Her real and only problem at that moment was that she didn’t like James. Even if the hatred she had experienced towards him in the past had, for the last year, been replaced by something nearing indifference, she’d never liked the way he seemed to go through life untouched and unbothered, benefiting from the social status of being born into a rich and powerful family. She couldn’t stand his arrogance in class and with other people from other houses he deemed inferior. She remembered all too well his attitude toward Severus and the many times she had seen him publicly humiliated for no reason, but just to pass the time. She found him incredibly inauthentic and truly disconnected from the reality of the current Wizarding World.
Lily had been raised in a humble, Muggle household. She had lost her father early in life and had to handle a mother who was on the brink of giving up and a sister who loathed her for being born with magical powers. She learned about solitude and fear the hard way and felt it even more now that the country was on the verge of collapsing into its darkest age. So no, Lily could not relate to him even a little, nor could she imagine enjoying the company of someone like him.
But the fact that she didn’t like him and the difference in their upbringings didn’t mean he didn’t have any qualities. He counted a lot of good people amongst his friends – some that were also her friends – he was at the top of most classes, and apparently a brilliant Quidditch Captain – Gryffindor had never lost the cup since he had been named to lead the team. His qualities were simply not the ones she usually values.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “You’re right, it’s not my place to question Dumbledore’s decision.”
“Thank you,” he said in a natural timbre. Lily dared to raise her eyes. His face was neutral and didn’t show any trace of anger. He went on: “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss about our quarters?”
“I’m good,” she replied in a somewhat husky voice.
“Okay, so now, let’s work on tonight’s Prefect meeting, then,” he suggested.
The rest of the discussion went on without further arguments. She filled him in on some aspects of the job he couldn’t be aware of since he was never a Prefect himself. They agreed on who would take charge of which duty and on when and where they should meet each week to discuss other issues. Lily was already closing her file when he spoke again.
“Before you leave, I meant to ask you...” he said, and she raised her head from a bag. “Who are the Slytherin Prefects exactly?”
“Well, 7th year are Severus and Barbieri, 6th Rowle and Fawley, and the new ones are Selwyn and Black,” she replied, slightly startled.
“Yeah, I got the list as well,” he indicated the piece of paper he was holding in his hand. “What I wanted to know is who they actually are.”
“Why do you ask?” she asked.
“I just wanna know what I’m walking into,” he answered simply. She scrutinised his face again, trying to decipher what kind of answer he was looking for.
“Except for Severus, I’ve never really talked to any of them. We’re not friends; we don’t have contact outside of Prefect duties. I’d say we all politely ignore each other,” she explained, truthfully.
“What do you know about Barbieri?” he went on.
“Not much, her parents are Italian.. I think she didn’t grow up in England,” she replied.
“The others?”
“Rowle and Selwyn are both in the Slug Club. They are very career-driven and ambitious, always talking about money investments with Slughorn,” she explained.
“Fawley?”
“She seems okay. We patrolled once together at night, and we chatted a bit.”
“I see...” he said, scribbling notes on his paper. “When’s the last time you talked to Snape?” he asked, raising his gaze into her eyes.
“I’m not sure.. sometime at the end of 5th year..” she replied, surprised by the turn of his question.
“And never since?” he insisted.
“No!” she replied, slightly annoyed. “What kind of information are you looking for, Potter?” she asked back.
“I wanna know who in the Prefects are Death Eaters,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“And you think Sev is one?” she retorted in a humourless chuckle. “You gotta be joking! I know he used to dabble in dark stuff, but…”
“I’m sorry to break it to you, Evans,” he interrupted, “but rumour has it that Voldemort has freshly recruited a potion prodigy.” Something big and heavy fell into her stomach.
“How could you possibly know that?” she asked sceptically, fighting the complicated emotions arising inside her.
“My father is a friend of the Head of the Auror Office, and they’ve recently accessed information about fresh recruits,” he explained, severely.
“And of course there’s no one else in this country that is renowned in potion making!” she retorted sarcastically.
“The rumour says it’s a very young person, still of an age to be in Hogwarts,” he explained. “Unless it’s you…”, he added, daring a smirk.
“Hilarious,” she replied, with murderous eyes and no hint of a smile.
“You know who his friends at school are!” James continued his argument with slightly more fervour. “Mulciber, Avery and Rosier! All these families are overtly supporting Voldemort. Everything indicates it’s him!”
“Well, I’m not the kind of person who makes assumptions on hearsay. I think you’re just blinded by your hate for him,” she retorted.
“And you by your love for him!” he snapped back, anger again showing on his face.
“I was never in love with him!” she replied, this time offended.
“I couldn’t care less about your love life, Evans!" he retorted drily. He let out a big sigh and went on. “It’s not about the feelings you had or not, or my hatred for him, it’s about how much of a menace he is for y–... anyone in this castle.” She felt tears welling in her eyes and looked down to avoid his gaze.
“Hey!” he said in a very different tone, a soft voice she had never heard from him before. “I'm not telling you this to upset you! They’re just facts. I’d rather you know who is dangerous.”
She wanted to retaliate. She wanted to tell James that he didn’t know the Severus she knew. She wanted to explain that he couldn’t be dangerous because he had a good heart, even if it was hidden under layers of wrath and hatred. But she couldn’t. She was far too vulnerable on the topic to dare discuss it with James. She knew she would burst into tears right away, and he was the last person in school she would accept to cry in front of.
Plus, she also knew why she was so sensitive about the subject. It was because, deep down, she knew Severus might have become a Death Eater. She’d lie if she said she hadn’t thought about it. It was only the logical outcome for him, and it had been the case for a long time. She was just not entirely ready to face the fact that he had gone bad for real.
“Regulus is probably one as well,” James added after a few minutes.
“But he’s only fifteen..” she replied faintly. Now that she had successfully swallowed back her tears, she raised her gaze again. He was looking at her with very different eyes; there was a warmth in his hazel that she’d never observed before.
“I know, it’s so young. But that's what Sirius believes…” he sighed again. “You have no idea how crazy their parents are. They’ve been pushing Regulus for a long time and probably even more since Sirius left the house to come live with us.”
After that, James seemed satisfied with his enquiry and thanked her for her answers. She didn’t lose a second before getting out of the room and straight to her first class of the morning.
She had a hard time concentrating on that first class of the semester. Between two analyses of cryptic symbols, her mind kept returning to her arguments with James. In less than an hour, the guy had been able to trigger her on two separate occasions. It almost felt like he had been hired by an unknown evil force to identify which matters weren’t perfectly resolved within herself and bring them back up on the surface, and that, with the most annoying ease. What kind of superpower was that? She sighed loudly and started over the paragraph she had been stuck on for probably ten minutes. But soon, her thoughts drifted again. James, she realised, had always had the ability to make her fly off the handle, more so than anyone in her life. Her mother and sister proved to be fair candidates for getting under her skin; that was a given, but it was never so quick nor so extreme. With him, it reached another level; there was something about him that felt more intense, almost visceral. Something that would make her snap instantly. It was true that their usual screaming matches and public rows had somehow ceased over the previous year, and she had hoped it had become their new normality. But she had been wrong. Apparently, they had just been able to keep an appropriate distance from each other during that time. Now that they were forced to be in contact again, the old ingredients for a blast were all gathered in the cauldron once more. All it needed was a little spark.
If working with James included a daily risk of explosion, in addition to all the schoolwork and the Head Duties, the year promised to be exhausting.
toxic masculinity and poisonous politics
Despite the intensity of the first day, Lily adjusted to her last year in Hogwarts with more ease than she would have thought. She was taking seven NEWTS – Potions, Charms, Defence against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, Herbology, and Divination – and had a hectic schedule compared to most of her friends. But thanks to her new privileges as a Headgirl, she had found a comfortable balance between schoolwork and her Head duties. Having her own room and bathroom significantly improved her quality of life; she would benefit from better sleep and feel less stress in the morning, not having to share the bathroom with four other teenage girls. Also, it was easier for her to find peace to complete her tasks. Whenever she used to study at the library or in the Gryffindor Common Room, she would be constantly interrupted by other students requiring her help with homework or reporting some rule-breaking. Now she could take advantage of the space of the Headquarters’ Common Room, which was empty most of the time. The only permanent resident was her elderly cat, Zorro, who was positively thriving in this newly acquired tranquillity and the unlimited number of snooze spots the room provided.
Even if she didn’t like to admit it, another resource she could count on was the help provided by the Headboy. James had been quite assiduous in completing his tasks and had even suggested he would be in charge of the patrol planning for the whole year. He was always on time and ready for their meetings and would often take the lead with the Prefects. They would hardly ever speak or see each other, which was a relief to her, and in addition to the Prefect meetings on Wednesday evening, they would meet only once during the week to discuss Head Duties.
Contrary to her fears, they never reached another breaking point since their first meeting, which was another kind of relief. She didn’t trust him, though. She still believed that his new identity was a well-executed act and expected him to reveal his true colours at the first bump in the road. Sooner or later, she was convinced she would have to take over the whole mental charge of the Head Duties. She also knew that when that would happen, she would be in Dumbledore’s office the next second.
“What do you girls think of that new teacher, Graves?” asked Lily during breakfast in the middle their third week.
“He’s hot,” replied Sabrina. She was Lily’s closest friend and also a Gryffindor 7th year. She was tiny and blond, with a doll face, but her fierceness embodied everything of a lioness. She had a powerful personality and sharp mind, which earned her the position of Seeker on the Quidditch team since their third year onward.
“He’s cool, I liked his teaching, he seems to know a great deal about the dark arts,” said Marlene. She was another close friend of Lily. She had curvy brown hair cut in an elegant bob. She was clever and assertive and believed only in facts. Amongst Lily’s group of friends, she was the only one coming from a Pure-Blood family.
“I thought he was a bit scary,” replied the last of the group. Dorcas was the only Ravenclaw of the gang and would often join her Gryffindor best friends at their table. She had long, silky black hair that complemented her brown, oval-shaped face. Of the four girls, she was the quietest and the most introverted.
“He’s an Auror from MACUSA, I don’t think he’s supposed to look like Madam Pomfrey!” replied Marlene sarcastically while spreading butter on her toast.
“Oh yeah, that’s right, he’s American," said Lily.
“Do you know him, Sab?” asked Dorcas.
“Yes, my dad is American, so we know all of them!” replied Sabrina sardonically.
“No, I meant because your dad used to work there, at MACUSA,” Dorcas explained.
“Oh yeah, sorry! I don't know, I’ll ask next time I write to him,” she simply replied.
“Well, he’s at least better than the nerd we had last year,” added Marlene.
“I liked Kembali,” admitted Lily. She remembered with endearment the short lady with a big pair of glasses who was always wearing monochrome witch dress robes.
“Of course, you liked her; she was always giving you points for your stunning spells,” said Sabrina.
“She was also all over James, remember, she was always asking him to duel her,” Marlene pointed out.
“Speaking of which, how is cohabitation with your biggest nemesis?” asked Sabrina cheekily.
“Maybe, it’s less awful than I feared,” said Lily after a few seconds of reflection.
“Of course it’s not! I’ve known James since we were kids, Lil. He’s a good person. He just sometimes gets carried away,” explained Marlene.
“Sometimes or always, yeah," she replied, overlooking her friend’s comment. “But I guess I don’t see him so often. He’s kind of quiet… Who would have thought?” she asked rhetorically.
“I think you intimidate him,” said Sabrina, adding milk to her bowl of cereal.
“I don’t see why he would be… But yeah, he’s alright. He can be mindful as well.” Lily was thinking of that time when he had carried back her case of potion supply she had left at the Gryffindor table.
“You’re the only one who didn’t know this about him, girl,” Marlene commented.
“I’ve noticed he’s often out at night, though,” Lily went on, suddenly remembering that info.
“What do you mean?” asked Dorcas.
“When I wake up at night, I always look for Zorro, and he’s usually downstairs on the sofa next to the fire, and most nights, James’ door is open, and his room is empty.
“Maybe he’s out planning pranks with the guys,” pointed Dorcas.
“I’m not so sure, since Snape’s accident at the end of 5th year, they all got rather reasonable,” explained Marlene. “Sirius will always do the occasional trick on Filch, but nothing big or elaborated like it used to be.”
“Maybe he has a girl, and he sneaks out to meet with her,” suggested Sabrina, now adding more cereal to her bowl to soak the surplus of milk.
“Or he’s just out, planning something big to attract attention. Like becoming Headboy without even spending 2 years being a prefect wasn’t enough already,” replied Lily bitterly. The three girls looked at each other knowingly.
“How come you’re still so angry with him? You know he hasn’t done anything... flashy in a year and a half,” said Marlene tentatively.
“I guess he became more discreet at finding ways to bully people,” replied Lily, determined to deflect any of their arguments.
“Ooor, he changed, for real,” suggested Dorcas.
“Yeah, I’ll need to see it with my own eyes to believe it,” answered Lily.
“She’s a lost cause,” sighed Sabrina to the other two.
“Yeah! Any living girl at Hogwarts would dream of sharing an apartment with him, but not our one and only Lily Evans,” Marlene said laughingly.
“I don’t know what girls see in him,” said Lily, keeping her dismissive attitude.
“You don’t??” Marlene asked, surprised.
“Are you maybe blind?” asked Dorcas with wide eyes.
“Or gay?” asked Sabrina.
“He’s just a regular dude,” Lily replied, knowing all too well that she wasn’t playing fair. “Ya, maybe he’s tall,” she conceded.
“And handsome,” added Dorcas.
“And funny,” added Marlene.
“Super jacked,” added Sabrina.
“And intelligent,” said Dorcas.
“Super rich too,” Sabrina pointed out.
“And most importantly, kind,” insisted Dorcas.
“And generous,” added Marlene.
“I’ve heard he’s got a … big one,” confessed Sabrina, mouthing the last two words, her hands cupped around her mouth. Marlene snickered.
“How do you know that?” asked Dorcas, shocked.
“Well, I've talked to one of his hookups once, and apparently, you need to be comfortable with Basilisks to hook up with him.” They all burst into laughter.
“Merlin, please save me!” pleaded Dorcas, hiding her face in her palms.
“I really didn’t need to know that,” said Lily, fighting the mental image of that kind of Basilisk forming in her head.
“Now you know what to expect if you ever run into him in his bathroom,” said Marlene, laughing.
“I’ll make sure I’ll stay clear of it until June next year,” replied Lily in a chuckle.
After class that afternoon, Lily was starving and decided to get an early dinner. By the time she was done, none of her friends had shown up at the table, so she figured she would sit in the Prefect Meeting room early and proofread her last essay before her weekly meeting with the Prefects.
After being finally satisfied with her Charm essay, she grabbed one of the Daily Prophet stacked in the middle of the big table and browsed through it absently while waiting for the others to show up. On the page for local news, her eyes stopped on the title Muggle Family found dead. It was probably the third Muggle attack she had read about in the last two months. She heard footsteps entering the room and raised her head from the article. It was Amos Diggory.
“Good evening, Lily,” he said with a smile she found far too annoying after a long day of schoolwork. She replied politely. “What are you reading?” he asked.
“An article about another Muggle assassination,” she said, going back to the article.
“Oh, I don’t think girls should burden themselves with such sad stories,” he replied in an airy tone. Lily raised her head in disbelief. “Plus, I would not take these articles too seriously,” he went on, misreading her facial expression completely, “the Prophet always has to exaggerate the fact to make the sale,” he added with a wink, acting as if he was confiding in her some very secret tricks. Other Prefects were now filling the seats around the table. James was walking towards the empty chair next to Lily, staring at Amos.
“What do you mean, exaggerating?” she replied, very much taken aback. “They’re talking about the death of a family of four, including a newborn. This sounds very factual to me!”
“And who says it’s related to magic?” continued Amos, ignoring her point. “This could be another crime committed by people from immigration.”
“Of course it’s related to magic," said Lily, growing unable to hide her anger. “It happens more and more; it’s a pattern. This is an intimidation tactic, and it should not be overlooked!”
“I think you are overreacting, my dear Lily,” he kept on going. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Accidents happen, and crimes aren't rare in the Muggle world. I don’t think it has anything to do with us...”
“Us..” Lily repeated under her breath, looking at him with a mixture of disgust and despair. She was thinking about her mother, who lived alone in a house not far from the neighbourhood mentioned in the article. It was not about us or them for Lily; she was part of both worlds.
“You know Diggory,” James intervened before she could work out an answer. “I think you examine the political landscape of our country the same way you do the Quidditch field for the snitch.”
“Oh yeah?” replied Diggory with a proud smile.
“Yeah! Very poorly,” retorted James in an icy tone. Some of the Prefects who had been listening to the exchange sniggered as Diggory fell silent and sat down without adding anything. Lily looked at James with utter disbelief. Without turning to face her, he sat down quietly and initiated the meeting.
At the end of the reunion, Edgar came to greet Lily. Edgar was Ravenclaw’s 7th-year prefect and had been Lily’s friend for years. He was a cute guy with sandy-blond hair, a relatively thick build, and big blue eyes hidden behind thick glasses.
“Hey, Lil, I don’t think I’ve told you yet, but I’m very happy you’re the Headgirl!”
“Thanks, Ed! That’s really sweet!”
“A true slap in the face to all the blood supremacists in school, that’s what it is! The Muggleborn is enforcing the rules now,” he joked. Lily laughed.
“Well, I’m happy if that can help,” she replied earnestly. “But if I’m being honest, it was a bit hard at first, especially when I saw who the Headboy was… I would have preferred to do it with you.”
“Oh yeah, you two always had a kind of … charged relationship,” he said with a smirk.
“Nicely euphemised!” she laughed.
“But he’s doing a good job, isn’t he? At least at keeping Amos’ big mouth shut!” Edgar observed.
“Nothing better than a big mouth to close another one,” she replied with a sigh.
“Amos can be such a jackass,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m happy he stepped up. You know he’s quite sensitive to the cause, right?” he asked.
“Who, Potter?” she asked, surprised.
“Yeah, his parents have been very active in the defence of the Muggleborns' rights. My dad told me that they’ve been raising a lot of funds and had quite the impact on their views among the pure-blood families back in the day,” Edgar explained.
“I had no idea,” commented Lily.
“I’m not surprised, they’re not the type to take the credit for it. Apparently, they’re just really good at pulling strings from backstage, at least they were. Now that the radicals have been taking more and more positions in the government, it’s harder to make things shift and more complex to know who to trust. It’s always good to know that the Potters are our allies.”
Lily remembered that night during a patrol when Edgar had confided in her that his grandmother had been a Muggle. It had taken Lily a few years to fully grasp the taboo that existed behind someone’s blood lineage. People usually avoided the topic out of fear of being put in the wrong category. Families with money and power could always get away with some Muggle ancestry, but it wasn’t so easy for people with humble means or Muggle parents, like Edgar and her.
“You know, Lil, you’re not the only one noticing what is happening. Few people do, but it’s real. We have to be prepared.”
Lily walked back to her quarters, lost in her thoughts. She was thinking of families such as the Diggories, influential, powerful lineages that would always blindly follow the political trend without opening a critical eye, out of lack of knowledge or maybe by simple denial; she couldn’t tell.
The country was heading towards an inevitable and imminent war. Sadly, the only people truly aware of it were those whom the government actually antagonised. And this was truly scary for Lily because if she’d always felt safe in Hogwarts, she couldn’t say the same when she was out in the Wizarding World. The only protection she could vouch for – put aside her friends who would always help her if need be – was her own magical powers. She thanked herself, insisting to her mom that she put protective charms around the house before she left, just for precaution.
For this year, she was confident she would be safe. For the ones to come, she decided she’d prefer not think of it just yet. In these kinds of moments, realising that some powerful families were still on her side was a welcome consolation, even if it meant a guy she didn’t really like.
vicious attack and vile marks
Second only to Christmas, Halloween was Lily’s favourite holiday. Even if she would rarely admit it, she had a sweet tooth and would look forward to Hogwarts’ most decadent feast all year. Each time, countless cakes and sweets were covering the tables, with the best variety of treats coming straight from the best shop in Diagon Alley. When hurrying down the Gryffindor table, her mouth was already watering at the idea of putting her hands on dark chocolate cake, chou à la crème, sour sweets, matcha cookies, and pieces of fudge the size of her fist. In addition to all of that, she truly loved the decoration of the Great Hall, with pumpkins replacing the usual candles and giving the room an orangy, spooky vibe. She squeezed between other Gryffindors and sat near Sabrina and Marlene, who were already in the middle of a debate.
“You cannot possibly think that you can determine your compatibility with a partner according to their Patronus, Sabrina!” said Marlene, raising her eyes, a half-eaten piece of pumpkin candy in her hand.
“Of course not! But it’s an interesting indicator! Like if your Patronus is a forest animal, it is said that you would get along better if your partner’s is a badger or a fox.” Sabrina tried to defend her argument while eating a big piece of chocolate cake.
“It is said,” Marlene echoed mockingly. “Where? In Witch Weekly?” she asked sarcastically.
“I read that in a book about cosmic connections, but I don’t remember the title,” explained Sabrina, her face reddening slightly.
“Bullshit!” Marlene called loudly, now going for the pudding.
After having finally swallowed the big piece of fudge she had been chewing, Lily jumped in, genuinely interested in Sabrina’s theory. “This is fascinating, it reminds me of the astrological families between the cardinal or the fixed signs.”
“Of course you would be into that crap too, Lil!” interjected Marlene. Lily pretended not to hear. She was definitely into that crap, so much so that she had indulged her guilty pleasure by continuing with Divination for her NEWTS.
“That’s exactly what I thought too,” Sabrina went on, glad she had found a proper discussion partner. “Also, I remember a chapter saying that on infrequent occasions, some people have met their soulmate by matching both animals of both genders. Like a lion and a lioness, for instance…”
“Oooh, so it means all I need to do is to find a stag to match my doe! " Lily said enthusiastically.
She could swear that she saw Remus Lupin’s head, who was sitting close to them, turn around violently in her direction. He was looking at her with a weird, stunned smile.
At that very instant, an enormous explosion echoed through the room, and thick black smoke filled the Great Hall within seconds. There were coughs and screams of surprise, but most students were laughing and wooing. And like most of them, Lily assumed this was part of the festivities.
“Lumos!” she tried to turn on her wand. She heard other students follow suit around her. But nothing was working, and no light was able to go through that thick smoke.
“Nice one, Peeves!!” someone exclaimed from further down the table.
“I’m sure it’s another prank from the Marauders!!” called a Hufflepuff from the table behind them.
“I can assure you it’s not!” Sirius Black's voice responded somewhere on her left. From the far end of the tables, Lily heard the familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore:
“I ask all of the students to remain calm and to stay seated while the teachers and I find a counterspell to clear this smoke!”
Finally understanding that it was not part of the entertainment, some students started to panic and scream. “Please remain calm!” Dumbledore added serenely, “This is certainly just an amusing joke!” Even if his tone sounded airy, Lily could sense that the Headmaster did not consider the situation unserious at all.
“Oi!”
“Ouch!!”
“Awa!” Students all around the room started screaming in pain.
“I got hurt by something!” she heard a girl complaining from a couple of seats to her left.
“I got stung!” another boy called on her right.
“It buuurns!!!!” Lily heard a little voice cry at the Ravenclaw table.
“Ouch!!” she exclaimed as she felt a searing burn on her left cheek. Immediately, she drew her hand on it. The skin of her cheekbone had instantly blistered, forming a very painful mark on her face. “What is that?” she asked, tracing the shape of the burn under her finger.
As fast as the smoke had appeared, it vanished suddenly, letting the orange light of the pumpkins illuminate the Great Hall again. Screams of relief were resounding, but with them also expressions of shock.
“Lily! What’s that on your face?” asked Sabrina in a concerned tone. Lily reached for her cheek again. Marlene took her hand softly off to observe what was under it. She saw her friend’s eyebrows furrow.
“It looks like a skull with a circle around it…” Marlene said faintly.
Lily, feeling panic rising inside her, looked around and saw some students checking their reflections in portable mirrors and discovering the marks now displayed on their faces. Some started to scream, others to cry. She had no idea what was happening, but everything seemed to indicate that someone had had awful taste for a joke. She stood up and looked around to locate James.
“I’m right here,” he said, coming from behind her and joining her on her way to meet with Dumbledore. The Headmaster had stood up as well and was walking down to the tables. With his now magically enhanced voice, he announced the following:
“Anyone who’s suffered from a burn, please stay in the hall. All other students, please follow your Prefects to your common room, where your Head of House will be waiting for you and take attendance.” In a loud eruption of noise, everyone stood up and started moving around in every direction.
“Miss Evans, Mr Potter!” Dumbledore had met them between the tables and the students, “Would you please help me gather the students who have suffered from one of these burning spells?”
It took them nearly half an hour to lead all the injured students to the Hospital Wing. They were of all houses and of all ages. Some wanted to find the aggressors and fight; others were screaming in anger and humiliation. The youngest were panicking and crying. Madam Pomfrey had acted very quickly and taken out a large pot of Essence of Dittany. Thanks to the help of Professor Graves and a group of elves coming in to provide additional support to administer the cure, the burns on the students’ faces and necks were under control.
Lily was kneeling, talking to a first-year Hufflepuff student who seemed inconsolable. She was stroking her hair and trying her best to reassure her.
“It’s okay, sweety. Madam Pomfrey said the mark will eventually disappear. It’s all over now.
“But I’m scaaaared!” she cried with even more vigour.
“I know you are, but you’re safe now! Nothing is going to happen to you!” Lily whispered.
She felt bad for lying to that little girl’s face. She had no way of guaranteeing her safety, nor could she be sure that whatever was happening was over. She didn’t know what else to do, and she didn’t think showing her true fear in front of this crowd would be a good idea. She had to keep it together and reassure people as much as she could until she got more clarity.
James made his way back to her. He had been circling the victims to run some statistics.
“Total number is 41,” he said, reading a piece of paper in his hand. “15 from Gryffindor, 17 from Hufflepuff and 9 from Raveclaw. None from Slytherin.” He kneeled closer to her and went on, whispering in her ear: “Your first impression was right, Evans, all of them are Muggleborns.” With this information, she felt her insides clench uncomfortably.
“Are you alright?” he asked in that soft, unusual voice he had used that one time when they had talked about Severus. She felt a strong urge to cry, but she fought it. Now was not the time. “Did you get some Dittani?” he inquired, looking at the mark on her face with a frown.
“I forgot!, she replied. She had been so focused on helping the others that she had overlooked that stabbing pain on her cheek. James settled down next to her and took something out of the pocket of his cloak.
“Tsk tsk tsk, Evans, if you wanna save the world, you have to save yourself first,” he said in a chuckle, opening the little jar of Essence of Dittani in his hand and taking some with his thumb.
“May I?” he gestured to her cheek.
“Sure,” she replied, taken aback. Before she had time to prepare, she felt James’ thumb gently pressing on top of her cheek. The relief was instant, and she let go of a heavy sigh, closing her eyes for a bit. When she opened them again, she noticed that his face was very close to hers. His jaw was clenched, and his expression was tense, but his eyes showed that warm hazel colour she had noticed during their first Head meeting. She kept her gaze on his face and saw that a few freckles were covering his nose. Earlier than she expected, he broke physical contact and stood up again.
“I’ll keep this for the quarters if you need to apply a bit more later,” he said, indicating the little jar. “I think we should go talk with Dumbledore,” he added, drawing his hand to help her stand up. She thanked him and said goodbye to the Hufflepuff girl. Then she followed him to Madam Pomfrey’s office. Professor Graves and Dumbledore were inside, harbouring grave expressions. Madam Pomfrey walked out of the office and closed the door behind her.
“Do you have the list of all the names and houses, Mr Potter?” Dumbledore asked. As an answer, James gave him the piece of paper he was carrying. “Did you ask them about their parentage as well?” he inquired after having reviewed the list.
“They’re all Muggleborn, Professor,” James replied gravely. Dumbledore’s face stiffened.
“That is what I feared, and I am confident that no other Muggleborn was exempted. This situation is alarming,” he went on, looking worried. “First, because putting in motion a synchronised attack such as this one requires a strong planning capability. What happened in the Great Hall was no idle prank done by rebellious teenagers. It was a severe action that took place tonight."
“The second point that frightens me,” he went on, “is that, to obtain information such as the blood status of wizards and witches, one must go through –”
“... the Ministry Office of Magical Distribution..” Lily finished his sentence despite herself, slowly connecting the dots and feeling a staggering, cold wave of fear forming in her back.
“Exactly, Miss Evans,” he replied, gazing at her. “The access to information from that Department is highly regulated, which can only mean one thing: the Ministry of Magic has been infiltrated and is no longer secure.” Lily felt the wave of fear crash against her back and spread through all her bones. She suppressed a shiver. “This is no longer about political parties gaining more seats in parliament; The entire Ministry is officially compromised,” added Dumbledore in the gravest tone.
“Moreover, this also means that Lord Voldemort has purposefully placed people in our school, and I would be profoundly surprised if this is the last attack this year. We are entering a very dark era of our history, and we need to act with the utmost prudence,” Dumbledore added, now speaking in a whisper. Lily had never seen him so serious. “I’m gonna ask you all not to divulge any information that has been shared in this room tonight,” he said, looking at each of them in turn. “The situation is grave, and the peace within the school is delicate.”
“Albus, I will inspect the Great Hall during the night to see if I can find any trace of magic.”
“Thank you, Ambrose. Please come to my office whenever you are done. I won’t be sleeping tonight; I have a lot of letters to send out. You two,” he said, indicating Lily and James, “Students might come to you to ask about tonight, try to keep a low profile.” Both of them nodded firmly. “And thank you for your help. I’m happy to see you work well together. You’re a good team,” he added. Lily’s blood, which seemed to have left her body since the attack, suddenly rushed back all at once into her face.
Lily and James had walked silently back to their quarters, and both seemed lost in their thoughts. When they entered the room, Lily turned around to bid him good night. She was making her way up her stairs when he said:
“Evans, I know we’re not... close or anything… and I know you’re super strong… But if you need any support at any time, you know where to find me, okay?” His expression was genuine, and he truly seemed worried for her.
“That’s nice, thank you,” she said in a little voice. Even if she truly appreciated his offer, she could not hide her despair any longer and needed to get into her room as fast as possible. Once she closed her door behind her, she started sobbing as silently as she could, her face hidden in her hands, her back pressing against her door.