Chapter Text
John knew that his place in the Air Force was solid… because the chances of him gaining much more rank than he currently had, was almost null. Best bet for getting anymore power -something that actively went against his very nature- would be go to back to black ops. And he wasn’t interested in going back to black ops.
He’s been in Antarctica for a while now, and he shockingly loves it. He’s flown General O’Neill a couple times now, and the caregiver always gave him this soft look as he asked about John’s time in the Air Force, his time in places over the world, and what he liked about them.
John just assumed it was because he was a little. Caregivers in the military tended to pay him a bit of attention, especially when they found out he wasn’t attached to a caregiver; but they often just wanted to know he was taken care of. Which was foolish, in a way. He wasn’t safe in the military, it was just a thing he did. It didn’t matter that he was a little, he would protect people because it was right.
He shook O’Neill’s hand with a little grin as the man came to the helipad, ready to be moved to one of the research bases. “You might get to meet my kid, since Danny is finally there while you’ll be. If I can tear him away from his translations, that is.”
John couldn’t help the little snort, but he did genuinely smile. He liked meeting other littles in his travels. “He Air Force too?”
Jack shook his head. “Nah, linguist. But he’s got military training. Well, physical training, he’s not always so good at following orders, but Brats usually aren’t.”
John climbed into the helicopter with him, still amused as they switched to comms. “I’ve been accused of being a brat once or twice; I think I’m just lazy, really.”
Jack snorted back at him, moving on to ask him about his time in Antarctica, idle chitchat that made John think he might be scouting John to move him elsewhere. Fair enough. John liked to travel.
Then they almost got blasted out of the sky by a drone… a flying drone that glowed gold?
Oh, so there was some weird shit going on under the ice. John could deal with that.
-
“Baba!” John noticed the other little coming up to the elevator, noted by the childish way he called to Jack, but otherwise, like any other little, John couldn’t really see it immediately because of the uniforms on base all being so covering on thr coldest continent on Earth. He was dressed professionally like any other adult scientist on this base, and didn’t overtly give off little pheromones. He was probably around three-to-six, from what John could catch, though.
“Danny! Warm welcome.”
Danny. Oh, this was the little Jack had spoken about before. The one that’s been his for around eight years now. “Wasn’t me, Baba. How’d you manage to-“
“-keep my ass from getting blown out of the sky? The exceptional flying of Major John Sheppard. He likes it here.”
“Exceptional- you like it here?” He turned to John with a baffled look for a split second, somewhere between amazed and horrified. Fair enough. John himself was a California boy; he didn’t always understand why no weather issues could pose a huge problem to relocation for him. It’s why he’d been sent so many places.
“Let’s get to the part where you start talking- real fast.”
Daniel nodded, but John was already paying attention to the things around him, both confused and baffled. “Ahh, Weir’s in here-“
“Hey!” Jack turned back to John, expectant. “Don’t touch anything.”
John nodded a bit. “Yes sir.”
-
John heard the way that the Scot had talked about shutting off the drone, and stopped in place, looking baffled. “You’re the one that shot that thing at me.”
The doctor stuttered something out about how they don’t fully know how to control the technology, motioning to the chair that he’d apparently used to fly the drones, and John felt a pull in his chest to go and sit in it. He’d already forgiven the doctor anyway. He had such a nice voice, and he was probably some type of caregiver from the pheromone scent.
It couldn’t be that dangerous. John didn’t even know where the interface was, and he couldn’t imagine it would be hard to avoid it once he found it.
So he sat down. And felt himself be tilted back as it started to glow blue and his mind started to connect with the whole base he was in.
“I thought I told you not to touch anything?”
John looked at General O’Neill and his kid out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to meet the man’s gaze head on. “I. I just sat down.”
The other of the -now three, John was starting to feel a little cornered- caregivers in the room asked him to picture where they were in the solar system, and the air above them lit up with images of a map of the galaxy. “Did I do that?”
Rodney, the most recent caregiver, ignored the way that O’Neill subtly handed him one of the candies from his pouch as he clearly settled in to listen to another scientist rant that he was too smart to try and leave. There was a soft hand in his hair, and he looked over to see the other little grinning from Jack’s other side, a hand in one of the man’s pockets as he went searching for his own snacks. John smiled back at him, not questioning why the caregiver had a hand on both of them now. John had the feeling they’d both be collared if they had been pets, so much was the General’s worry over them both now.
He turned back to listen to Rodney rant more, sucking on the candy he’d been given as he relaxed a little into the caregiver’s commands to show him various things with the chair.
Oh this was going to be a very different posting than he was used to.
***
John didn’t like Colonel Sumner, and he knows the man doesn’t like him, but for once, John is pretty sure it wasn’t entirely because he was a little. It was hard being a little in the military, but he’s always managed that part.
It was the insubordination mark that pissed off Sumner, but John was unfortunately used to that as well. Even if that had never been his fault, the mark was still on his record.
John tried to stick near the other major that was going with them, Lorne. Apparently Danny didn’t like him much because of some ‘misplaced artifacts’ on a mission before, but the rather relaxed pet regressor had just shrugged and mention that him and Danny got along in headspace sometimes even after that. John stuck by Evan’s side as they started to make their way through the Atlantis base, only splitting off when Rodney wanted him to wake up the gate room while Evan was still securing the area.
He bumped into Rodney and noticed the man make an annoyed grumble and put down his tablet, pulling up his pants legs so he could remove a set of gravity balancers. “Why are you wearing those?”
John had left his in his pack, but maybe he was supposed to already be wearing them? If a caregiver was wearing his military issued ones, surely the littles and pets should be too, right? People who weren’t littles usually only kept them for medical reasons. Rodney gave him a look as he took a moment to shift from foot to foot in the new weight of the room. “We weren’t sure of the gravity of this planet, and I’m not exactly known for stamina. It seems comparable to Earth. Most seasoned away-teams keep them on their person at all times, even if just to make it easier to travel.”
He grabbed his tablet again, and started finding a place to plug into the Ancient systems so he could get a feel of where they were. John pulled off his pack and pulled his balancers out of the front pocket, hooking them into his belt like a pair of handcuffs, and pulled the pack back on.
-
Teyla was nice. She didn’t understand everything John said, obviously, but she had welcomed them to share a meal and take John to see the ruins. She didn’t even mind that he chattered on a bit about Earth.
“Forgive me, Major Sheppard, what is a ‘Little’?”
John turned to blink at her a few times, head cocking to the side in bafflement. “I… I’m a Little? It means I have the pheromones that make me young? It’s why I can’t grow thicker body hair below my eyebrows, and it’s why I’m smaller than the other adult males in my group?”
Teyla’s eyes narrowed for a moment. He was bigger than she was, but he was smaller than the other adult men. Lorne had thicker body hair as a pup regressor, but John had nothing more than peach fuzz and big eyes. “This is… like another gender, for your homeworld?”
John thought about that for a moment, before giving a cautious nod. “I guess? Like, I’m still a boy, so a secondary gender type, maybe? I don’t really know. I bet Doctor Carson could explain it. We also have caregivers, so I guess that’s it’s own type too.” He looked in the little hallway she had led him towards, distracted, and his eyes caught on something shiny on the ground. He picked up what looked like a lovely necklace pendant, picking it up to show her.
“Oh, I had lost this years ago!”
John smiled, happy to help her find something that clearly held good memories for her.
-
Wraith were… fucked up. Really weird, and terrifying.
They could also tell the difference between littles, caregivers, and neutrals. And they seemed to have never seen them before, which made John a little bit sad, realizing that this galaxy would have no other littles in it.
They had separated John from the rest, asking him what he was, and John thinks the others are finally starting to realize John is very… different, than the others. Aiden was better hidden than him, it seemed. They weren’t able to lock onto his location when John was around, like their senses were overwhelmed by John’s pheromones.
“You are… younger…” the vibration in the Wraith’s voice was low, and it sent shivers down John’s spine, but he didn’t flinch at it. Who does this lady think she is? John didn’t flinch at anyone but his father when he was in trouble. “How is it possible for a species to survive so… underdeveloped?”
John still didn’t flinch, but he still struggled in their hold, trying to avoid looking at Sumner’s corpse, but he wrinkled up his nose, looking a little annoyed. “Littles can have kids, but even if we couldn’t, we’re just a fraction of our parent-species.”
The Wraith sneered at him, turning around, and John used that to signal Aiden.
As explosions went off, and they started to escape, John felt an ache of dread in his stomach, uncomfortable in the knowledge that they had woken this ancient enemy from hibernation early.
***
The bottle of champagne had been cracked open that night as they stood on the balcony outside the gateroom, but John had wrinkled his nose in distaste as he declined Rodney’s offer for a sneaky sip while the other caregivers weren’t looking.
He’s had enough sneaky sips over his lifetime to know that he didn’t like the taste of alcohol, and never liked the way it made him feel, either, but Nancy had insisted on it to keep the peace around holidays with his family. “My ex-caregiver used to give me full champagne flutes whenever we had to deal with my family, if I wasn’t on deployment. It made it easier to deal with them, but I hate the taste.”
Rodney held the glass back to his chest with a horrified look. He was a pet-caregiver, and while pet regressors were genetically different from age regressors, Rodney still had all the instincts. He wasn’t great with people, but he knew damn well what isn’t appropriate for little ones John’s age. He had meant his offer of a taste to be exactly that, a little sip that John might see as part of the celebration. Not… that…
“A full champagne flute? You must have been sick for days afterwards! Littles can’t metabolize it the same way we can.” Fuck being the ‘fun uncle’ type now, Rodney was the overprotective brother type now. It suited him better anyways. Jeanie had always complained about him hovering when they were kids, but at least she had been well taken care of since their parents didn’t seem to bother half the time. He could deal with a neglected, borderline mistreated little just as easy.
John nodded, giving Teyla a smile as she came over to listen to them talk. She had Aiden at her side, and he looked just as concerned about the aspect of John being poisoned as Rodney. “Yeah. It’s why I can’t stand the taste. She always mixed in juice, to mask the taste, but it’s still gross.” He shrugged, looking at Rodney. “What about you, any pets in your past?”
Rodney rolled his eyes, deciding to move on from that. For now. If he met John’s old caregiver he’d probably start yelling. “I’ve had a couple kittens, but I’ve always been wrapped up in my work. It never quite works out, you know? I think all our past relationships pale in comparison to being in a new galaxy in the Lost City of Atlantis.”
Teyla looked between them with such curiosity that John couldn’t ignore her. He gave her an encouraging look, leaning on the balcony edges. It was beautiful out here. “When you described being little, I had assumed it was a way to call yourself small, underdeveloped? I do not know a polite way to say it. It seems that socially, you are separate and biologically different.”
Rodney lit up when John gave him a nod to take over that explanation. A couple other Athosians were clearly listening in on this as well, wanting to know more about the people they’d be living with now. “Oh, yes, John and I are both biologically different. Major Lorne is as well, and- Carson- we have a lot of genetically separate people in this group. John isn’t underdeveloped, he is well within a healthy range for a little of his age- Major, you said you’re four?”
John blushed a little at that, glancing down. He had a very low age range that Nancy had never had the time for when they were together. Sometimes John thought she had wished she either had a stay at home child, or none at all. “I fluctuate, four is my biggest, I go as little as eighteen months.”
Rodney looked like he wanted to pinch John’s cheeks, and maybe that was the trick to getting the man to open up. He clearly liked pets, but thought littles were cute as well. He definitely didn’t do very good with actual children or adults.
“A very good age range; but that doesn’t mean he physically turns younger. Just mentally, and some neurological regressions. It might become harder for the Major to walk, or speak, and it can often accompany a change in your taste buds. Littles his age do not like dark chocolate, I can tell you that much.”
John glared at a piece of kelp on one of the roofs a big away. “I don’t like dark chocolate when I’m big, either.”
Lorne came over and grinned at John. “That’s because your taste buds can only have so much fluctuation between headspaces, so you can only tolerate so much bitter or sharp flavors. I myself can’t stand vinegar or citrus, and most mint is gross.” John couldn’t help but agree with that. His toothpaste was strawberry flavored, since mint was too stingy.
Rodney gave him an approving nod. “Citrus is the worst poison, good choice.”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Igore him, Rodney has an allergy.”
Teyla looked a little sad, thinking over the past few days. “We fed you a bitter tea yesterday morning, my apologies, Major.”
John rolled his eyes at that one. “It was a little bitter, but it tasted like black tea, and that’s the strongest caffeine I’ll drink, so it was actually within my tolerance. I thought it was nice. If things had gone well, I likely would have had black tea with my breakfast anyways.”
Teyla gave a slow nod. “If you say so. When you say that you regress, do you mean that you become mentally that of a child again?”
John flushed a little again. It was always tough admitting to that sort of thing, since he spent so much of his adult life in dangerous situations. “Yes. It’s… hard to explain. Some people always stay in their littlespace, some people rarely go into it, I usually drop to a certain degree outside of work. Adrenaline makes me age up, instead of down. It makes me good for military work like this.”
Teyla smiled at that, happy to know the danger he’d put himself in didn’t come with such a risk.
***
John wasn’t surprised when he was hunted down by a quartermaster and given a box of regressor supplies as soon as he had a room of his own. A twin sized mattress protector for the bed was his first thought, because he didn’t know how the stress would effect his headspace as he started to come down.
Airman Reyes was an older man than John was, but he had a younger look about him that John could tell came from the same pheromones as John had. John perked up a little as Reyes came in to help him unpack, chattering on about the laundry system they apparently had in their personal restrooms for the sake of smaller loads of laundry. John liked the older little. Maybe a middle? His pheromone production suggested a headspace at least as old as thirteen, but not light enough to be a fifteen year old for sure.
“Hey, if any of the other military personnel make any bad judgements about our types, come to me or Lorne, okay? We know that Sumner wasn’t a huge fan of our type, so I don’t know what personnel he might have staffed us with.” There was an unfortunate number of their planet that thought regressors couldn’t take care of others. In actuality, blind studies showed that littles and caregivers gravitated towards the most caretaking positions in all societies. It was arguable that neutrals were actually the cause of most of Earth’s issues, but the brass wasn’t ready to admit that one yet.
The airman gave him a thin smile. “Of course. I’ve been in the SGC longer than you, so I know that very few would have slipped past General O’Neill to begin with. Even General Hammond is very fond of regressors. His granddaughters are both littles, but I don’t know if he means actual granddaughters or not. Sumner was… rude, but not so terrible himself.”
John nodded at him. The man hadn’t been horrible about his classification, so much as the insubordination marks in his record, but the man had happily handed John off to Teyla to babysit when they were on her homeworld, and it had rubbed John the wrong way. “Fair enough. Make sure people tell me if the civilians get weird either. Or if the civilian regressors get anything bad their way. Clearly, regressors do just fine in positions of care like we have, and everyone is already going to struggle with a two system chain of command.” He gulped, realizing that he and Evan were the top of one of those chains now.
Reyes grinned at him, holding out a hand towards the bathroom so he could show him the laundry system. “That we do. Now, I know what everyone put in their files about bladder control, dietary restrictions, and stuff like that, but I packed everyone’s regressor and pet regressor packages pretty identically depending on age, species and if they identify as little or middle. Which means you also have about ten reusable diapers…”
John blushed a little at that, cautiously nodding as Reyes showed him something the rest of the quartermasters team had found out about the personal bathrooms. “That’s fair, and in a high stress living situation like this, I don’t blame you for making sure we have the supplies for a farther drop than usual.”
Reyes nodded, showing John how to open up the washing system and load it. It seemed to be self working, but John didn’t see anywhere to put soap. “The few loads we’ve run through for testing all come out clean, but we didn’t put soap in. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Either way, very useful system, no one has to worry about being questioned, and you should have enough extras that you can put on a new cover and not bother with waiting for the system to run.” He handed over John’s new tablet with a page open, and pointed. “We’ve started making a map of the city that we’re working in; the quartermaster’s area is marked. If you need anything else, you’ll find us there. Riley is taking over the room across the hall from us, so we’ve got armor and weaponry close by.”
John nodded, feeling a bit vulnerable and young now that he was safe to just sleep for the next… twelve hours, or so. He lowered the tablet to sit on a table near the bed, and gratefully accepted the airman’s help with putting on his mattress protector and bedsheets. “Thank you, Sargent Reyes.”
When he was alone, he couldn’t resist looking through the regressor supplies that Reyes had left with him, cheeks warm as he put aside a reusable diaper to put on before bedtime. He’d have to keep an eye on his bladder to avoid nighttime accidents for a few days, but he was thankful Reyes showed him the washer in the bathroom, because it was more likely than not going to happen.
At least they weren’t in pastel. He had a few that were black, and more that were blue or green. They were the high waisted kind that felt comfy to sleep in, so that was nice.
He also had a couple teethers, a new teddy bear with a plush space ship in its hands, and a new fuzzy blanket that would be comfy to snuggle with. That wasn’t all, of course, but he was struggling to not just collapse on the floor and whine about how tired he was now.
He pulled the blankets and teddy out, putting them on the bed with the rest of his sleeping supplies, and moved the whole bed against the wall so he’d have multiple anchors for his nest.
This wasn’t like a normal single airman’s military posting. He’d actually be living here as comfortably as he could. He’d even be able to decorate, maybe make it as comfortable as possible. Maybe the Athosians would help them trade for things. They’d have to work on getting food and animals first, most likely. Maybe they could get wool creatures. He knew someone on this base had to be in charge of things like textiles. John didn’t know much about spinning yarn, but if they gathered enough textile workers, they could make this base into something that actually resembled comfort.
He had two thick military blankets, two pillows, and the fuzzy baby blanket, and worked on making a nest out of it all.
When he was done though, he just sat there and looked at the nest that looked a little drab and sad, but it was his nest.
When he was an actual child, he had access to the best their planet could get. He could get luxury brands of blankets, so expensive that people who bought Gucci and Chanel regularly wouldn’t even know about them. Onesies and teddy bears that cost more than a modern cell phone.
None of it was bad, but he knew distinctly that it all had a culture behind it that didn’t belong to the people. Didn’t even belong to the people who made them.
Military green blankets were thick wool that was washed a bit soft and scratchy, the blanket was clearly wholesale from some big maker, but it was warm and soft and baby blue with clouds on it. The teddy bears were people ordered in bulk as one of General O’Neill’s little jokes that John had found the man to be so fond of over the past month.
He sighed, realizing he was at the point of exhaustion that he was just staring at his little nest -comfortable and just for him, easily something he could come to love, made with the same supplies that everyone else would get- and wishing he was already ready for bed and passed out in it.
He wiped away and exhausted tear and started pulling off his boots, stripping slowly and with a tired feeling to himself as he slowly got up. His knees were better than a neutrals or caregivers, but they still cracked as he got up, tossing clothes every which way as he felt his headspace shifting.
He was starting on a headspace crash as his adrenaline went past the point of wearing off, and he couldn’t help the little shake in his hands as he pulled out a reusable diaper and a long sleep shirt from the box of supplies, slipping into the bathroom on shaking legs so he could empty his bladder in the hopes of not having any accidents overnight. He only fumbled a little as he pulled the soft reusable diaper’s fabric closed around him, and almost failed to pull on the long sleep shirt entirely.
He curled up into a tight little ball in the middle of his nest, pulling the fuzzy blanket against his front, and the military wool against his back. John tugged the teddy bear under his blankets and hugged it tight against his chest in a hug, relaxing as he listened to the sound of distant waves crashing against the edges of the city through the cracked window he’d had Reyes open so they could get the scent of thousands of years old air out of the room.
He was so exhausted that he had to wipe away more tears and couldn’t stop the constant yawning, and he knew that the sun was barely starting to go down, because this was a new planet, and there wasn’t any of the same time they used to have on Earth, and everything was so big in his head that the tears kept coming until he was able to clamp his eyes shut, scrubbing them aggressively and yawning til the world gave way to blackness.
Good grief, he was a bit of a mess right now.
***
He was woken over eleven hours later, which was as disorienting as it was any other time that happened. He didn’t actually require that much sleep in his life. He usually got by in four to six hour intervals, and anything longer than eight was just baffling.
What woke him up came again. A knock on his door. Soft, but firm.
John wanted to get up to open the door, but was still exhausted. Before he could start getting up though, the door slid open and Rodney came in with his nose buried in a tablet and holding a tray in his other hand.
The man looked up and saw John still in bed, peaking out of his nest at him. He looked back at the door, and then to John again. “Wait, did you just think that door open with your mind?”
John considered that, starting to sit up a little with his eyes still hooded and crusted with sleep. He stared at the door again, and it slid shut. Both of them jumped a little, and Rodney turned back to him with a predatory grin. That was actually a bit more scary than the door. The man came over and sat on the floor in front of him, shoving a lidded sippy cup at John still in the nest. “You slept forever. Weir got worried and asked me to go find you since I kept asking if you were available to be my light switch today.”
John glared at the sippy cup in his hand, but before he could take the lid off, Rodney poked him in the side. “Lid stays on, please. However close you are to headspace is staying. Further if I can get it.”
John frowned at him, lifting it up to take a heavy pull of the drink and clear his throat. “Why are you trying to put me in headspace? You’re a pet caregiver, shouldn’t you be invading Lorne’s space?”
“Nope.” Rodney popped the p sound, putting down his tablet so he could look around the room at his mess of clothes from last night. “Jesus. You crashed harder than Lorne, anyways. He’s fully out of headspace and taking over marine-babysitting, but I need an ancient tech light switch, so I’m trying to give you a day off, actually. You had a harder day than Lorne yesterday. I only need you to be in the lab while my workers do their thing, set stuff up, whatever. You get to sit in a playpen and act like every sticky toddler who wants to get their hands on things.”
John blinked at the man a few times, feeling… a strange bloom of warm heat in his chest. “I’ve… are you sure Lorne doesn’t need me? We’re kind of in charge of the military now.”
Rodney nodded. “Oh yeah. He’s been with the SGC for a while. For a couple weeks here it’s mostly going to be establishing the chain of command, rotations, who gets assigned to who, Weir is working on the same thing for the civilians and Athosians. I have to supervise lab setup, and need someone who can work with the city. That’s your specialty, and I can tell you crashed bad last night. Come on, I’ll be a good babysitter. When I’m not yelling at the idiots in my space I can hand you toys or interesting things. Don’t you want to see if they have any Ancient equivalent kids toys?”
John pouted, but he did. He blushed a little, looking away as he took stock of his body, finally sitting up fully. The sippy cup Rodney had given him was full of milky tea. He thinks Rodney might have just mixed formula into it in place of milk. It would be good for him, anyways. “If you want me intentionally little, I’ll have to… I need to wear diapers and have my pacifier.”
Rodney nodded. “Your regressor supplies has play clothes in it. Really just softer shirts and sweats. Can you change yourself? I can, but I also have some people on staff who are more like a baby-caregiver than I am.”
John blushed, shrugging. “I can if I’m only midway. You sound like you want me fully down.”
Rodney nodded. “Yeah. Like I said, Lorne and Weir don’t actually need you today, because they’re busy setting up the already established protocols of the city. If I can get you fully down, you’ll have a way easier time dealing with their crap once it’s your turn. Also… Teyla seemed really curious. Maybe we should let Athosians know what headspaces are like early.”
John was bright red at the idea of his new friend seeing him so small so soon, but Rodney was right. They couldn’t really afford to hide headspace time in their new base. There would be times when he was closer to little than not and might need to be out of his quarters. He knew he could do the majority of his work even in a lower headspace like ten; he’s been doing those sorts of things for years. Paperwork and organization of troops and supplies and making people civil.
There was a lot you could while not fully big. He couldn’t afford to only be small while alone. That in itself, was dangerous.
He nodded, getting up and putting down the sippy cup. He escaped into the bathroom with what Rodney called play clothes and a new reusable diaper, a little annoyed that he would already have to use the laundry system that Reyes had shown him.
“I’ll be out in a bit. I need a shower first.”
Rodney just hummed, waving him off while he went back to working on his tablet.
This galaxy was so very different.