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A knock. At this hour, Jax would just ignore it. Pretend to be asleep, and they’ll go away. Two more knocks, and in impatient tapping of one’s foot.
A high voice, it says, “Jax, open up. I know you’re up.” Jax shoots up in his bed, because Pomni? Why is Pomni of all people knocking on his door at, what, midnight? Despite still wanting to just be alone, his curiosity got the best of him, and he jumped out of bed.
Pomni heard four or five locks disengaging before Jax peaked the door open. She never gets to see him in his pajamas, which was only a pair of black pants. She swallowed thickly, and forced her gaze away from his bare torso, or anywhere below it.
”Visiting little ol’ me, at this hour?” Jax croaked, voice hoarse from unuse. “You dog.” He teased.
Pomni rolled her eyes, and pushed through him uninvited, closing the door behind her. Whatever it is she wanted to say, it wasn’t something she wanted anyone else to hear.
“Let's have sex.” Is all she said.
Jax blinked at her, utterly bewildered, like he hadn't heard her right. This must be some sort of dream, or a cruel joke. Jax stared at her slack jawed for a second, taking in her red face and crossed arms, and the way she refused to meet his eyes. Oh god, she was serious. Jax has never once treated her kindly, there was absolutely no reason for her to be here. He actually, believe it or not, maintained an extra effort to NOT be kind to her. Sort of what he does.
“...There's no way you actually mean that.” Jax eventually landed on.
Pomni groaned, exasperated, hiding her face in her palms, so embarrassed she could die on the spot. “Unfortunately, I do.” She mumbled miserably. “I just, I can't do it anymore. Nothing I… do, uh, solo is satisfying, and it's all I can think about.” She gripped her head, frustrated. Pomni is generally averse to being touched at all, but it's been over a year now she's lived in the circus, and she cannot focus on anything. She had a few casual lovers back in the real world, who could satisfy her without needing too much in return. No relationships, and most importantly, no strings attached. She figured if anyone could tick those boxes, it was Jax. The need set her skin on fire, put her mind perpetually in the gutters, and planted a deep itch she just cannot scratch herself.
“It's driving me crazy.” She continues. “I just want to be able to think about literally anything else. So I'm asking you.”
Jax crossed his arms, smug. He hoped his facade was firmly in place, because his heart was racing. He'd had similar desires, years ago, and never acted upon them. Particularly thoughts about how he'd be a virgin forever. Indefinately. Like he had that formative experience ripped from him. He considered, like Pomni, seeking that experience in the people here in the circus, but it never came to fruition. Nothing— no one— felt right. He felt like a teenage girl, wanting her first time to be perfect and romantic, but it would never happen. Not like that, anyway. So, he mourned for a bit that he'd never have such an escapade, and moved on. Never let himself think about it again.
With Pomni presenting herself on a silver platter in front of him, he's very much letting himself think about it now. Part of him is impressed she propositioned him, something he himself never had the courage to. The other, louder, part of him is screaming to make her turn around and leave, forcing her to endure celibacy like the rest of them have. Sleeping with her would needlessly complicate things, anyway. It would needlessly complicate him.
“And if I say no?” Jax asked, playful, already planning to reject her. His inner voice begging him to wait for the right person. Wait until you're ready.
“Then I'll go.” Pomni said. There was no wavering, no disappointment.
“Oh yeah, and then what? You'll ask ol’ Rags to boink ‘ya?” Jax laughed, praying the sweat pouring off of him wasn't obvious.
Pomni shook her head, obviously not picking up on the rhetorical nature of the question. “No. Caine.”
“Wait, what?”
“If you don't want to, then I'll ask Caine.” Pomni clapped her hands together, wiping off invisible dirt from her palms, as if to say, and that's that.
“Wh— you can't do that!” Jax shouted, scandalized. “That's…” he grimaced. “...weird.” He shivered in disgust, trying not to envision it anymore then he already had.
Pomni shrugged, clearly not anywhere near as disgusted as she ought to be. “I know he'd do it, though. Kinda a last resort, but… He'll get the job done.” Jax cringed at the words, once again getting images he'd rather not see. “Jax, I'm really going to need you to give me an answer. If you don't want to, I totally get it, but I just can't take it anymore.”
The desperation in her voice did something to him that it really shouldn't have. It's not that he didn't want to, but more fear of the consequences. Letting someone that close to him, being intimate with anybody. But he's a human with needs, and she's a human with needs. So what if he'd never done this before? He could figure it out. He won't ever have this opportunity again, and he certainly won't ever get the chance to make love, or whatever mushy nonsense he actually wanted. It can be fun. Casual. It'll have to be enough. If it’s enough for her, it can be enough for him.
If she had a backup plan to fuck Caine, then she clearly isn't looking for anything more then giving into her carnal desires. The more Jax thinks about it, the further his resolve slips from his grasp, eventually shattering at his feet. Fuck, he was horny.
“I, uh…” He says dumbly. “...yeah.”
“Yeah?” Pomni parrots, hopeful.
“Yeah.” He confirms. “Don't expect me to be a gentle lover, though.” For his own sake, mostly. He can't let his heart get wrapped up. There won't be any gentle caressing or longing glances, and he's going to kick her out right when it's over. He'd decided already.
Pomni bit her lip, fidgeting with the bottom hem of her shorts. “...I was hoping you wouldn't be.”
Jax walks past her, and reengages all of the locks he'd installed, talking with his back to her as he slowly relocks them, one by one. “Tell me, Pompom. What exactly do you want me to do to you?” Click. “Don't leave anything out.” Click, click. “Don't try to be embarrassed, either. You don't get to be coy when you come to my room, asking for sex, and I so graciously accept.” one final click, and she was essentially trapped. The thought made a shiver run down her spine.
Jax turns to face her, leering from above her. “Go on.” He says. He puts on this domineering persona, but in reality he… doesn't really know how to initiate. Every porno he’d ever watched and smutty book he’d ever read are at the forefront of his mind, using whatever he could remember to try to trick her into thinking he knew what he was doing.
Pomni looks up at him, with big, pathetic eyes. They search his, but find nothing. “I, um...” Despite his warning, she was embarrassed.
Jax grabbed the sides of her throat, a firm but not uncomfortable pressure, and forced her to look at him. A small moan escaped from her mouth, before she could stop it. “Go ahead. Say it.”
“Use me.” Is all she could say, voice above a whisper. She was falling fast, her mind already floating.
Jax noticed. Her half lidded expression, mouth ajar, and the way she turned to putty under his hands. “That I can do.” Jax released her before she fell too deep.
‘Use me’... What the hell does that even mean? If there's something Jax is very good at, it's blind confidence. It can get you far enough.
“Pom, If I do anything you don't like, you need to tell me. If you aren't into it, I won't be, either.” Jax was an asshole, but he wouldn't violate her like that, especially when his instructions were as vague and boundaryless as ‘use me.’ As hot as it was to hear in her pretty voice, it really didn't mean much of anything, did it?
Pomni nods, and feels a little more secure now that he'd said that. “Ok. I promise.”
“Safeword is…” He thinks, humming to himself. They need one of those… Probably?
“...Corn?” Pomni supplied. That would do.
“Ugh. I guess.” He said. Jax motions for her to go on his bed, and she does just that, anticipation buzzing in her bones. He crawls on top of her, their noses brushing. “Use it.” He says, grabbing her throat again. He moves his hand to the back of her head, and yanks the hair that's there. “Say it.”
Pomni shivers, back arching into his touch. “Corn.” She whispers.
Jax releases her hair, and places his hand back where it was on her neck. “Very good, Pom.” He watched her reaction closely, noting the way she bit her lip again, trying and failing to prevent her little noises from coming out. Her chest heaved, and she used her hands to grip the arm holding her throat, asking him silently to keep it there. “You're gonna be good for me, Pom?” He tried again, to the same reaction. Shoulda guessed she was into praise like that. For whatever reason, she just seemed like the type.
He released her with a push, her head slamming against a pillow. He hastily starts unbuttoning the buttons of her pajamas. She looks away, embarrassed, and skin aflame. Her heart jumped in her throat and her stomach filled with butterflies every time his fingers brushed her bare skin. He was done far too quickly, not savoring it. He planned to devour her whole, and didn't care to taste all of the notes. He didn't dwell on the fact she trusted him enough to be that vulnerable— that placid in his hands. He didn't think about how cute she looks in his bed, or in the dim yellow glow of his lamp, or in the way her sweat made her bangs stick to her forehead.
He slid her shirt off her shoulders, admiring her stocky body. Her flanks were smooth and short, and she had similarly proportionate breasts, which were small and pert. Her nipples were different colours, he noted. One was blue, and the other red. Exactly as he imagined them to be, and somehow still even better. Not that he'd imagined it, not until a few moments ago. For the first pair of breasts he'd ever seen in the digital flesh, he is more than satisfied with them.
Jax was staring a bit too long, suddenly regretting not taking his time unwrapping her like he should have. His resolve to take was suddenly curbed, and replaced with a carnal need to give her what she needed. What he wanted didn't matter, not when she's here. Not when he's the only one who can satiate her. Not when she came to him first, begging to be used. Suddenly, it clicked. What she meant by use me. It had simply meant exactly what she said, and he vowed to deliver.
He slid a hand up her chest, resting on her sternum, avoiding her breasts, wanting to look a bit longer. This made Pomni… A little bit self-conscious. She'd never been naked in front of anyone before, not in this body, anyway. She didn't consider that he wouldn't find her attractive, but she is now. Is that what was happening? Was she not enough? Too flat-chested? Why won't he touch me?
“Wh- what's wrong?” She asked quietly. Jax didn't respond, seemingly not hearing her at all. She reached her arms up to cover her chest, ready to yell ‘corn’ and high tail out of there. “Am I… Do you not like… what you see…?”
Jax snapped his gaze back up to hers, ears flat against his head, and pupils black dots in his eyes. “I— what— no. That's… That's not it.” He gently pries her hands back down, coaxing them to rest on either side of her head. She lets him guide her, and replaces his hands back on her waist. He bites his lip, letting himself flush pink. “I— I just…” He stutters, trying to reassemble his thoughts, “I just want to look at you. Let me look.” He sounded much more like a plea then he initially intended it to. He rubs circles with his thumb on her waist, which did soothe her a bit.
“Talk me through it.” She said after a moment, “Tell me what you're thinking.” A plea of her own.
Jax's heart was deafening in his ears, and his hands were shaking, but he obeyed her. “You're everything and more I could have wanted.” Well. So much for keeping it casual. His tongue dried up in his mouth, but before he could berate himself for the comment, Pomni broke him from his stupor, with a gentle moan. Her back arched up under his words, and her cheeks burned deeper. She needs this, he thinks. There didn't have to be anything in it for him. He's going to shower her in praise because she needs it, not because he wanted to. And, so what if he just so happens to enjoy it? It didn't mean anything, even if everything he said was true. Even if he did want it just as much as she did.
He runs his hands back up to her collarbone, over her shoulders, and back down to her waist, never touching what he so desperately wanted to. “You're driving me crazy.” He says, low and gruff, holding her tight. Pomni lifted her hips up, grinding against him with her lip between her teeth.
Jax let out a moan of his own, matching hers, before pinning her thighs down firmly with his knees. Pomni shuttered, shaking at the pressure, with anticipation.
“Don't.” he all but growled, shooting more sparks up Pomni's spine. “Not until I'm ready.” Pomni reached to grab him, grab anything, and Jax pinned her hands down above her head, forcing her to be completely still as he took in her body again. She was totally and entirely helpless, and she could feel how she was soaking through her underwear. She's exactly where she wants to be.
Every shuttering breath and every twitch of her waist made her breasts bounce with the movement, and it was intoxicating to watch. He leaned his head down to hover over her nipple, the warm air of his breath just a hair away from touching. Pomni whined and tried to twist away from his grasp, trying to close the distance between them. Jax stuck his tongue out, and flattened it against her hard bud, finally, and Pomni cried out his name.
She's never felt like this before. All of her previous affairs had been quick, and if she was with any of them right now, it might have even been over already. No one has taken the time to so carefully open her seams, or ruin her like this. It was always fast and hard, and although she doesn't doubt this will eventually lead there, this much foreplay was foreign. Usually when she says use me, that entails a quickie in the bathroom, or a fist in her hair while her latest conquest fucked her face. It was messy and dirty. But use me didn't mean that to Jax. Jax was using her in a different way. He wanted this to be about her, and he was going to get the most out of this by giving her whatever she wanted. The thrill of it all was almost too much. At Jax's gentle sucks and kisses around her breasts, and every time she cries his name, she could feel his cock twitching against her, two layers of fabric away from giving her what she wanted.
Pomni almost felt a pang of jealousy at Jax's previous partners. If this was his version of having a bit of fun, she envies what he must have had reserved for those he was in a real relationship with. For those he loved.
With a loud pop, Jax releases her nipple and leans up to the side of her head, breathing heavy into her shoulder. He releases one of her hands to pinch and roll her other nipple he'd ignored, while he pressed searing kisses into her neck. Pomni grabbed the base of his ear with her now free hand, and tugs on it lightly. She's surprised he not only let her, but at the whimper he kissed into her throat. It was soft and high and deliciously submissive. It was so quiet, she was sure if he wasn't right in her ear, she wouldn't have caught it.
She pulls with a little more intention behind it, to the same reaction. He sunk his teeth into her shoulder to muffle his moans, but Pomni still noticed. He pinched her nipple harder, probably as a warning, but it wound her up even tighter. She moaned his name in his ear over and over, Jax, Jax, Jax, with her gentle scratching and caressing of not only his ears, but the top of his head as well. Eventually he pressed his clothed cock against her, chasing friction for the first time. He let out an honest to god purr, as he untucked Pomni's thighs from under his knees, letting her freely grind in tandem with him.
Jax picked his head up from Pomni's neck, admiring the work he'd done to her porcelain skin. Angry red hickeys trailed up her jaw and down her throat. He had initially planned to move to the other side, but Pomni locked her eyes with his. Their grinding stopped, and their breaths mingled, both of them waiting for the other to move.
God, Jax wanted to. He wanted to kiss her silly, but he was already in way deeper than he ever wanted to be. He was afraid he'd drown in her. His gaze darted between both her eyes and her lips, sitting wet and open for him to take.
He didn't notice, but the purring didn't stop, reverberating in gentle pulses in Pomni's chest. Pomni knows why he's hesitant to kiss her, she would be too, if she was him. She never kissed her one night stands. It felt like giving a part of her away.
He hasn't even fucked her yet, and she knows she's going to want to do this again. She is so used to everyone taking so much from her— and to feel wanted, to be treated like something precious, it made something swell up in her heart.
She held his face in her hands, bringing him closer, but didn't bring their lips together. With her hands still on his face, she spoke in a hushed voice, “Jax… I don't want this to be a one time thing. I know how it looks, but,” Jax's eyes were hyperfocused on hers, searching for anything to help him understand how deep those words were. “No one has ever made me feel like this,” She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes, her voice wavering. “I want this. I want you.” From this close, Pomni could only barely see the way his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes misting over. Before she could bear witness, Jax closed the gap between them, kissing her the only way he knew how. Chaste, close-lipped, innocent and selfless. It made Pomni's heart do backflips, and she wrapped her trembling arms around his neck, pulling him deeper. It made her feel like her first kiss all over again.
It was his first kiss. It felt like a confession. She held his face, told him she wanted him, and cried in his arms. It was every bit of a first kiss he'd dreamed it to be, too. The fireworks he's heard so much about were real, and gave him clarity. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest as he felt her warm tears smear on his cheek.
He can't ruin this, he thought. He's so used to self-sabotaging everything he didn't think he deserved, but he just can't, this time. Not now that she's shown him her soul, not when he is what she needed. If he pulls away now, he's just going to hurt her, like he hurts everyone. He can be selfish this one time, right? He can hold on to her.
Pomni licks his bottom lip, and Jax lets her lead, hoping to mask his inexperience with eagerness. He opens his mouth, and mirrors the way Pomni's tongue dances with his, slow and passionate. When he gets the hang of it, he takes his control back, pushing her until the back of her head lay flat on his bed, never letting their lips part. He balances on one elbow, and reaches down between Pomni's legs, rubbing her vulva through her shorts, surprised it has soaked all the way through. She moaned in his mouth, clawing at the back of his head as he slid her shorts down to her knees, his finger making the first contact with her pussy.
He was slow, working what he had hoped was her clit in firm circles with the pad of his thumb, eating up all of the sounds she was making. When her hips bucked with impatience, he increased his speed, and Pomni was the one to break their kiss to throw her head back, moaning especially loud.
Emboldened, Jax decides to test the waters by sticking a thick finger into her hole, making her gasp and shiver. She panted with the stretch, her walls squeezing around his hand. It was so much. Too much.
She turned to look Jax in the eyes, who had since held his finger still, thumb still stimulating her clit, searching her eyes for permission to continue.
He knew. He knew it was a lot for her, and he just knew to stop. He knew to let her adjust, and he wasn't going to keep going until she was ready. The realization hit her in the chest, taking her breath away. She didn't think men like this were out there, that they were just a hoax. And that this kind of man happened to be Jax of all people, she could hardly believe it. She recalls the conversation they had, just before this,
“Don't expect me to be a gentle lover, though.”
“...I was hoping you wouldn't be.”
They were both dirty liars, huh?
Fresh tears fell from Pomni's eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by how he's treating her. He wants to wipe them away, but with both of his arms occupied, he settles to kiss under her eyelids, making Pomni laugh a wet giggle, sniffling and using the back of her wrist to dry her face.
“You alright?” He asks, his hand completely stilling.
Pomni nods. “Yeah.” More than alright, she doesn't say. “You can keep going.” Jax kisses her again, slowly, letting Pomni set the pace, as he slowly fucked her with his finger. He sped up until he got to a speed where she clamped her things around his hand, and adjusted his angle until she was practically screaming. Seeing her fall apart in his arms, hearing just how wet she was, and that he did that, made him so hard he could've cum on the spot.
Feeling brave, Jax quickly pulled his hand away, and before Pomni could protest too much, he kissed his way down her stomach, and licked her clit, sucking on it gently. He placed his finger back in her hole, and he pushed one of Pomni's knees up to her shoulder, keeping her spread wide.
Pomni's hands gripped his ears, pulling them harder then intended. Jax moaned a high whine, face flushing a lovely red, as he dived deep in her pussy, licking and sucking her with a brutal pace she hadn't seen from him, yet. He was drunk on her, completely intoxicated and gone.
Pomni almost missed his free hand reaching down to paw his cock over his pants, and it gave her reason to try something she'd thought about since that first little whimper in her ear.
“God, look at you.” She teased. He spared only a glance, not slowing or letting up on her at all. “You look so pretty between my legs.” Jax shuttered, and she saw goosebumps erupt down the arm that was pinning her leg down.
How selfish of her to assume Jax would be the dominant one. Thinking back, it had been abundantly clear that Pomni had been in complete control the whole time, and that was just how Jax liked it. Maybe they… should have talked a little more, before jumping into this.
Jax took his finger out, and replaced it with his tongue, which could hit a spot just that much deeper then his finger could. His grip tightened on her knee, and used his now free hand to reach up and pinch her nipple in the way he'd memorized she liked.
She felt her release rapidly approaching, when she didn't before. Her legs shook, and Jax could feel her clit get harder and harder, but he was entirely focused on his rhythm with his tongue, and keeping it steady. She didn't want to cum yet. If she did now, she wouldn't be able to again for at least another hour, and there's no way she'd survive a whole hour of Jax's famous foreplay, especially when she now suspects he'd do it.
“S-stop, Jax. I'm close.” She whispered, trying to pull him off by his ears.
Jax didn't stop, or slow down
She panted heavily, half wanting to let him keep going, but the bigger half needing more. “Ja— Jax stop.” He didn't. “Corn, corn, jesus christ.” He was off her before she could even finish getting the words out.
He wiped his mouth and climbed up to face her, taking one of his hands to her scalp, gently scratching her scalp while he pressed their foreheads together.
“The mouth on you…” She giggled, regaining her breath.
“Everything ok?” He asks, nervous.
“I didn't want to cum yet. I wanted…” She looks at him, really looks, at his blown pupils and worried expression, his mask totally gone for once. Vulnerable in her arms. It made her humanize him in a way she hadn't before, she's ashamed to admit. He was just like her, right now. Giving away a part of himself, and trusting her to take care of it. She didn't plan on letting him down. “I need you inside me. I want to cum around your dick.” She managed to say, embarrassed. Man, that was such a lame thing to say, huh? She cringed.
Jax begs to differ. It made his dick twitch uncomfortably, and he was close himself. He didn't know how long he would be able to last inside her, and that worried him. But it also seemed like she wouldn't last very long, either, and he could hold on for that long, at least. He hoped.
He kissed her shoulder, and kissed down her arm until he reached the tips of her fingers, now sitting on his knees. This way, above her, he can look at her again. The backs of her thighs were resting on the tops of his, and she was watching his every move.
Pomni looked different now, then she did at first. Much more relaxed, little red marks peppering her skin, her nipples swollen and puffy. Her hand was still in his, his lips still pressed gingerly to the back of her knuckles.
This was making love, it had to be. They weren't in love, of course, but something had shifted. Jax's flimsy resolve of ‘It'll be fun. Casual.’ had proven to be completely in vain. He realized that he was still following her instructions, even now. Use me. He was. If she wanted him to slap her around, take her and not care about what she wanted, she should have said that. But he was doing what he wanted, what the teenage girl in his head begged him to save himself for. Maybe this would needlessly complicate things. Maybe Jax would only get his heart broken, in the end. But he wants to try.
He crawled off her, planting his wobbly feet on the floor, to pull off his pajama pants, feeling Pomni burn a hole in his crotch as she stared, waiting for the big reveal.
Jax wasn't small, by any means. He was a giant purple rabbit, and had a proportionate giant purple dick to match. He kicked his pants off, discarding them somewhere he didn't care to make note of, and grabbed the base of his shaft, pumping himself a few times in his hand.
He wasn't trying to put on a show for Pomni, but you couldn't tell her that. The way he shimmied out of his pants, popped his hip and ran his big hands down his chest, touching himself while looking her in the eye… That was very much a show, captivating her.
There was only… one problem. “That's not going to fit.” She said, pointedly.
Jax shrugged, not that worried. “We're cartoon characters, Pom. There aren't any… organs in the way.” Jax resumed his position between her legs, propping himself up with his forearms on either side of her head. “We'll take it slow.” He kisses her, just to kiss her. “Promise.”
Pomni trusted him. She didn't have to think about it, and didn't have to pass any judgement. It was just as true as the sky was blue.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, as he lined up his cock to her hole with the help of his hand. He looked her in the eyes, and she nodded. She was ready. She felt the tip slide in much easier than expected, and they both hissed air through their teeth. Jax, to control himself. She was much tighter than his hand, or any toy he'd used, and it was hot. Pomni was adjusting to the stretch, and instinctively placed a hand on Jax's chest, pushing him, keeping him there.
That made Jax's heart crack a little. The movement was second nature, and he idly wondered how many assholes she'd been with. He was an asshole, too, but why would anyone want to keep going when she wasn't ready to? Especially when she's so easy to read, like right now. Her eyebrows weren't knitted together anymore, and she looked up at him with those big eyes and her lip between her teeth.
He took the hand off his chest, and kissed her palm, placing it on his cheek instead. He slowly pushed in more, watching her intently for any signs of discomfort, and he managed to get about halfway down before he stopped again.
“How're you doing?” He asked, low. Pomni put both hands on his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. It was sweet.
“Mmm… Good.” She moaned, moving her hand back to the base of his ears, where she grabbed it. “More. Please.” Jax pushed more and more until he bottomed out, buried completely to the hilt. He looked at her, no discomfort at all, and he's a little impressed with her.
Not satisfied with the angle, Jax hooks his elbow under Pomni's knee, hoisting it up as he kisses her, her own hands still tugging and petting his ears. The new angle let him go just that much deeper, making Pomni see stars.
He started moving, a little unsure of himself. When he would play with himself, it always felt best when he pulled it all the way out, and then back in, so that's what he did. He pulled out to where only the very tip of his cock was still inside, and then pushed back in. He didn't do it gently, and upon gauging Pomni's reaction, this seemed like the right choice.
She gasped, pulling his ears in just the right way. She was so full, and it didn't hurt at all, and she felt safe. It was all so good. Pomni half wondered to herself, was this the way sex was supposed to feel? The whole time? There's a time and place for rough and hard, surely, but something like this… Something like what they were sharing, right now, she'd never experienced before. Her first time had been a mutually drunk experience between her and a friend from high school, only bits and pieces remained in the morning. There were no butterflies or longing glances or patience. It was sloppy, only for fun. It was fun, from what she could remember. The idea of losing her virginity was not one she really gave much thought to, to be honest. She didn't feel any particular urge to make it special, or choose the right person, or wait until marriage, or whatever other conniptions one may have about it.
Everything she'd ever done in her life, had led her to this moment. She can't bring herself to regret sleeping with any one of those faceless men, or the drunken night of passion that took something from her she didn't know she'd miss, because right now, she got it back. What she didn't even know was gone, and she felt whole again.
She's crying again. As Jax pounds into her over and over, gentle lips kissing hers, moaning into each other, her emotions consume her.
At a particularly wet sniffle, Jax leans back to make sure she's alright, his hips slowing, but not stopping.
“Don't stop. Please.” She begs, “I'm alright.” She smiles a wobbly smile, and he believes it.
He kisses her, and then leans back out just to watch her. The hands on his face still petting his cheek, her tears flowed freely. He didn't try to wipe them, he didn't want her to feel like she had to stop crying for his sake. He didn't expect her to be a crier at all. He didn't expect himself to be a crier, either. There was just something about the way Pomni looked up at him, maybe he had mistaken lust for something more, but… She looked at him like he'd given her something more than a hook-up. She'd definitely given him something more, but he didn't expect her to get nearly as much out of this as he was.
“Damn it, Pom,” he said, his own tears pooling, “You'll make me cry, too.” She laughed, it was just a giggle, but it was music.
He unhooked her knee to place both his forearms more firmly by her head, and Pomni wrapped her legs around his hips. Although the angle couldn't hit quite as deep, the position stabilized him, allowing him to go harder.
Pomni was completely lost, she threw her head back and moaned wonton, not bothering to muffle any sounds, and Jax sure as hell wasn't going to. Let everyone hear, for all he cared.
“Oh, shhhh— Jax!” As her release built and built, she became much more vocal. “Jax, keep going. God, you feel so good. You feel it too, right?” Jax snapped his head up to meet her eyes, trying to understand. “You feel it? Tell me you do. You can't lie to me, I know you do. Mmm, oh fuuuu—”
Feeling what? The way she took over all his senses, gave him something he thought he'd never have, and… and something more. Maybe that was the it she was talking about. The something more. Jax couldn't put his finger on what it was, but it was warm. It filled his heart in a way he'd never known. It was kind and gentle, and it made him want to change. It made him want to show her kindness. Whatever that was, then yeah. Yeah, he was feeling it too.
He let the tears fall. “Yes, Pom. I feel it.” She kissed right under his eyelids, just as he did for her.
She came first, and it was unsurprisingly the best single orgasm she'd ever received, and the only one she'd managed without her clit being stimulated. It was hard, it hit her like a train, and wracked her body with tremors and spasms. Her walls tightened around Jax in a way that was surely impossible, and he pushed all the way in, before cumming himself.
She felt the way his cock pumped with each wave as he came, they came together, her mind supplied. It was hot. She'd never allowed anyone to cum in her, condom or otherwise. She thought it was gross, and wanted nothing to do with it. But watching Jax's red face as he unloaded into her, shaking and holding her tight, she didn't know how else this was supposed to end. It was perfect. He was perfect.
They panted into each other, still connected. Even when he eventually slipped out, his cock soft, she still felt that connection to him. Jax felt it too, of course, and hoped it wasn't the needless complication he'd warned himself about. Or maybe he hoped it was.
He flopped down next to her, completely spent. They just lay together in a conformable silence, catching their breaths and processing everything that happened.
Pomni broke the silence first. “Holy shit, Jax.”
Jax laughed breathily, covering his pathetically red face with his arm the best he could. “Holy shit, Pomni.” he mirrored back.
“I think I met God when I came.” Pomni said, completely serious.
The earnestness in her inflection made him laugh more than the actual content of her words, but it was a laugh regardless. “I have that effect on the ladies.” He joked.
Pomni elbowed him hard. “Shut up. I don't want to hear about any of the ladies you've been with when I'm in bed with you.” The tone was half hearted, but there was some underlying truth weaved between the lines that Jax saw through.
He raised an eyebrow at her, and turned to look at her. She was pouting. It was cute. “Geez, I was just joking.”
He wants to tell her. He feels like he can. The words lay heavy on his tongue, and he's grateful Pomni says nothing, as he worked up the courage. There's no going back, now. Its not like they cannot un-fuck, so he might as well ride this out, and see where it goes. “I, um.” It was Pomni's turn to look at him. “I actually… You… ugh.” He rubs his face, his hands completely covering whatever expression he was making, hiding from Pomni. “I've never… done that before. With anyone.”
“Done what before?” Pomni asked. Because there wasn't any way he was telling her he was a virgin right now.
“Don't make me say it.”
Pomni laid there a little shell-shocked. In all her sexually active life, she always told herself she didn't like a virgin. She didn't want to have to teach them, or feel responsibility over making their first time special, because that wasn't something she could give them. But, not for the first time tonight, her shallow worldview has turned upside down. She didn't need to teach Jax anything, which made this so hard to believe.
“Then… how did you know how to do… all that?” Pomni asks, genuine.
Jax shrugged, and let his hand fall from his face. “I mean, just because I've never done it before, doesn't mean I haven't seen it. I know porn isn't real, but you know. Same… fundamental principles. And there were definitely some things I did not know how to do. I just winged it.”
“You winged it.”
“Mhmm.”
“That was the single best sexual experience I've ever had, and you winged it.”
Jax blushed. He didn't know about all that. “Ruined you for any other man, did I?” He teased, nudging her.
To his surprise, Pomni agreed, nodding slowly. “...Probably. No man has ever come even close to making me feel like that. I… I don't even think anyone has ever made me cum before.” and he would have made her cum twice if she'd let him.
“Man, what kind of dickheads were you with before? They would just leave when they were done?” Jax said it like he was scandalized by it, and that innocence made Pomni's heart flutter a bit. She wanted to live in the world he did, where selfish lovers shouldn't exist. It was a wall of naivety she'd never seen on him.
“You’d be surprised.” She answered. She twisted to rest on her side, holding her head up in her palm and let her other hand caress the bare expanse of Jax’s hip. “...That was really your first time?” She just had to confirm one last time.
He groaned, turning his face away from her. “...Yeah.”
Pomni whistled, hand traveling up Jax’s torso then back down to his hip. “Look at me, soiling your innocence. Shame on me.” She giggled. It made Jax groan again, half heartedly trying to push her off. She pulled him closer, still laughing.
“Nooo, get off me. You ruined the moment.” He joked, gently pushing her shoulder away, not meaning it. She tightened her grip on him until he was tucked safely into her chest, and rested her chin on the top of his head. He squirmed a little longer before settling in, his own arms eventually finding their way under hers, resting on her shoulder blades.
“I meant what I said. We can do this again. If you want.”
“Robbing the cradle now, are you?” Pomni slapped his back, scolding him without words. Her eyelids were heavy, and didn’t feel like playing anymore. The adrenaline has worn off, and she’s tired now.
“Shaddup,” She slurred, sleep thick in her throat. “I mean it. Or we can do… something else.”
Jax’s eyebrows shot up, expecting an innuendo. “Oh, I’m intrigued. What did you have in mind?”
“We could… go to dinner sometime.” Jax stilled, not expecting that. Not an innuendo, then.
“Dinner, where? We’re in digital prison.” He asked.
“Dunno. I’ll figure it out. ‘S that a yes?” She asked, yawning.
Jax produced a yawn of his own, relaxing again. A date. Pomni asked him out on a date. “Shouldn’t you have asked me out first before jumping my bones?”
She chuckled, charmed. He’s actually pretty funny when he’s not trying to be someone he’s not. She shrugged, eyes closing, and not planning to open them again. “Probably. So yes?”
Jax reached for his covers, and made sure Pomni was sufficiently covered before responding, his own eyes feeling heavy. “Ok, I’ll bite. Better be one hell of a date.”
Pomni hummed, and a few moments later her breathing slowed, and her hands stopped caressing his back. Everything about this was so domestic. It made him feel safe in a way he tried so desperately not to feel. He never wanted to get comfortable here. The circus wasn’t a place to let your guard down in. But he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Maybe he’d regret it later, or maybe not, but he cannot deny how intoxicating it is to feel safe. It felt like a burden was lifted, in a way. He wanted to let himself be safe around her.
She snored. It wasn’t quiet or feminine, but it was still cute. With how loud she was honking he wondered if she had had sleep apnea in the real world, or something. He watched her until sleep took him as well, and wondered how far this would go. All he knew was that, right now, there was something different about him. Something new that planted itself in his soul.