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Mike stares in absolute defeat as he runs through his points again. Over and over he counts the points he's won with his Fantasy Football team and every time he comes up short. Way too short. His team is absolute dog water.
Oh god, what if he loses? With a league that consists of Harvey, Louis, Benjamin, Rachel, Donna, Jessica, Kyle, and himself, the punishments could be anything. He's just praying it's not something illegal like when he used to league with Trevor.
Looking over the points again, his spirits diminish.
A voice startles him out of his thoughts. "Accepted your fate yet, Michael?" Benjamin, his boyfriend, asks with a taunting laugh.
"Ha ha," Mike laughs dryly, "I bet you've been thrilled seeing my team suck ass. What punishment have you been thinking up, Ben?"
With a smirk, Benjamin leans in, whispering words that should get him reported to HR before he says, "Oh, you meant for fantasy football? Well, I've got a few ideas."
"Do tell," Mike prompts, "You were so forthcoming with your other ideas, are these that much worse?"
"They're much more public, if that's what you mean," Benjamin affirms, discreetly taking Mike's hand in his, "But, no, not as exciting. Besides, everyone put punishments into the pool. Who knows if mine will get picked." Mike relents, squeezing Benjamin's hand back.
The two of them just woke up together before work. This time, they spent the night at Benjamin's house where Mike had to endure hours of Benjamin teaching him about his $63,000 camera.
Surprisingly, Mike managed to stay awake the entire time— which he was rewarded for with a back massage— and could even recite the entire lecture.
Benjamin picks from his assortment of ties and Mike picks up the tie he wore yesterday.
"Michael, please. Don't wear that one, it's wrinkled," Benjamin laments, grabbing one of his own ties to tie around his partner.
Mike gives a deep sigh, "You sound like Harvey."
"The guy with a good sense of style? I'm honored," Benjamin retorts.
"Ooh, maybe you should date him," Mike says scandalously.
Benjamin gags, "And date a lawyer? Sounds like a nightmare."
"Always trying to be right," Mike continues, "Always outsmarting their IT Technicians." At this, Benjamin waves him off with a smile, leaving him to his tie.
When Mike exits the bedroom, two panini's are sitting on a plate thanks to Benjamin's new panini maker.
Mike finishes them both off quickly, moaning at how good they are. When he looks up, Benjamin has a strange look on his face.
"What?" Mike asks through a mouthful.
Benjamin says, "You ate mine." Mike looks down at his crumby, grimy little fingers with immense guilt building in his gut. So gluttonous.
"Michael, I was kidding, I made four," Benjamin assures him, a laugh bubbling out of him.
Mike stares at him unimpressed. "If you're not careful, you'll be going in that stupid panini maker."
"That stupid panini maker is feeding you." After finishing their breakfast, the two of them decide to walk to work together. When they spend the night at Mike's apartment, they have to take a taxi, but Benjamin's salary affords a decently sized apartment within walking distance of Pearson Specter.
The two of them walk closely together, keeping their hands interlocked until they reach the building. The elevator has two other people in it, so they keep their distance. Their relationship isn't exactly a well guarded secret, but it's known by a select few.
When Mike enters Harvey's office, he and Donna are discussing football scores. Right, he's still losing fantasy football.
"Mike! I can actually stand to look at you today. Give your boyfriend my thanks," Harvey says, looking back at his phone.
Donna chimes in, "And thank him for having a boyfriend that sucks at making Fantasy teams."
"God, Donna," Mike whines, "Don't remind me. We've still got one more game in the season…" Though it's hopeless, Mike tries to fruitlessly encourage himself.
"Mmm," Harvey hums, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"I sleep great at night," Mike retorts, thumbing through Harvey's records.
Harvey chuckles, "I'm sure you do, Mike, but please don't tell me about it. And get out of my records." Mike ignores the last part, commenting on every album that's older that him.
Donna asks, "We're still on for watching the final game tonight?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Donna," Mike affirms, taking a folder from Harvey's desk to work on for the rest of the day.
"Come on, Ben, we're gonna be late," Mike huffs, leaning over his partner's shoulder.
Benjamin, without looking away from his computer, replies absentmindedly, "Well, Michael, you bothered me a grand total of eight times today, so I'm rather behind."
"Oh, I didn't realize I was such a chore," Mike teases.
Benjamin sighs, "If you only knew." With a swift hit, the technician stands up suddenly, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Mike's mouth.
The two of them take a taxi together. The watch party is happening at Harvey's apartment since everyone agreed it was the biggest. Wealthy bastard.
When they get there, however, it looks like everyone's ready to leave.
Mike turns to Donna. "What's up? Are we gonna turn the game on?"
"Mike, the council has come to a decision," Donna says with a faux-stern voice, "There is no way you're getting out of last place."
"What."
Harvey breaks the news. "You're drawing your Fantasy Football punishment right now. After that, we're going out for drinks and you're gonna do your punishment."
Mike sputters, "That's cheating! I still have a chance!"
"Michael, Sweetheart," Benjamin says patronizingly, "You're not getting out of last place."
All of a sudden, Louis is holding a bowl out to Mike, prompting him to pick from several small slips of paper. "Squire, may the odds—"
"Louis, stop talking," Mike snaps, picking a random slip. With fear in his heart, he unfolds the paper.
Oh god. Mike feels his heart stop.
He has to go out in drag?
"Not drag, you just have to cross-dress," Rachel explains through her giggles.
Mike says, "What's the difference?!"
"Well… drag is more, like," she struggles for the words, "more extra! Cross-dressing is just looking like your average jane."
"Oh that makes everything better," Mike replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. Rachel shrugs as if to say 'it's not my problem'.
Donna, on the other hand, is ecstatic. Something Mike had never noticed is that he and Donna are almost the same height.
Which means they're swinging by Donna's house to grab whatever risque dress Donna would like to subject him to. And, Jesus, it's too much for Mike to handle.
It's tight. It barely fits over Mike's chest— which makes him wonder how it fits over Donna, but he's not stupid enough to ask that— and pushes the minuscule amount of fat on his chests into a very sad mimicry of A cups.
The design itself is actually quite elegant. It's a deep black with black sequins decorating the fabric in a rose-like pattern. The length makes Mike flush. It's not downright inappropriate, but it gets damn close to being shameful. He's certain if he bends over at all, he'll be arrested for public indecency.
"Now, Mike," Donna says excitedly, "I have a little gift for you." Seemingly from nowhere, Donna presents a brown, long-haired wig.
Mike blanches, "You wear wigs?"
With an unimpressed glare, Donna replies, "No. Who do you think put that slip in, genius? I've been planning this for weeks."
"Did you get me panties in my size too?" Mike jokes, his smile dropping when she doesn't deny it.
Donna asserts, "And you will be wearing them."
"No."
"Mike, this isn't a question, this is a punishment, and you will be wearing them," Donna says, shoving a bag into his hands, "Don't make me check. I don't want to check."
Benjamin slowly raises his hand before Donna cuts him off. "No, Benjamin, you can't check. We're going out in public you whore."
Mike looks bewilderingly at his boyfriend, face red as he mumbles, "Fine, fine, I won't make you check." With a supportive shove, Mike is in Harvey's bathroom with a dress, a wig, lace panties, and none of his dignity.
When the entire ensemble is on, he has to admit that he isn't the ugliest woman to ever exist— though it's pretty close. Unfortunately, he wasn't joking about the time he told Harvey about his feminine features. He looks very similar to a woman.
Stepping out of the bathroom, he's immediately greeted with large bouts of laughter, Louis being the greatest offender.
"Mike, are you sure you haven't done drag? You've got the facial structure for it," Harvey says in his smartass tone.
Mike remarks just as quickly, "You think about my facial structure a lot?"
"Careful, don't want your Romeo to install a virus on my computer," Harvey jokes, drawing Mike's attention to his partner.
When he turns to Benjamin, he almost expects the man to look at him with an array of emotions ranging from arousal to excitement— literally anything other than outright discomfort. Benjamin has been pissed, disgusted, and annoyed by Mike, but never had he ever been… uncomfortable around him.
Mike mumbles, "Maybe I should take this off—"
"No can do, boy wonder." Donna shuts him down immediately. "You lost, you pay the price."
Despite his protests, Mike is ushered out of the apartment in his stupid getup. Harvey won't shut up about all the bars they're gonna parade him around and all Mike can think about is Benjamin.
Even on the short cab ride over Benjamin doesn't even look at him. Mike doesn't want to talk about it in front of their friends, knowing it would just make the whole evening awkward and potentially just push Benjamin away.
Does Benjamin think he's an ugly woman? Now, he might not have the highest standards, but Mike wouldn't be adverse to bedding a woman that looks like him.
Before he can dwell on his anxious thoughts any further, they're at the first bar of the night. Good. Mike needs some liquid to ease his nerves.
He tries to walk beside Benjamin, even holding out his hand to grasp it. And he…
He doesn't even acknowledge Mike. Dear God, what the hell did he do? He tries to run through all the things that he could have done between the drive to Harvey's house to leaving the bathroom.
Nada.
The good part of an hour proceeds like that. Mike vying for even a bit of Benjamin's attention and Benjamin ignoring all of it.
Watching the final football game of the season puts Mike in no better mood as, predictably, his team does as everyone expected. Badly.
At least he didn't wear this for no reason.
The poor outcome only dampens Mike's mood. All he wants is to find a minute with just himself and Benjamin, but finding that minute in such a crowded bar is next to impossible.
Stewing in his own misery, Mike hardly even notices the drink that has been gifted to him. Confused, Mike looks at the bartender. The woman only gestures to the other end of the packed bar to a man that is very clearly staring at him.
Good lord. He thinks Mike's a woman.
Donna suddenly leans in, startling Mike as she whispers, "He's going for the beta woman. It's an old but classic tactic."
"Donna I'm not a woman, I don't know what that means," Mike whispers back.
"It means that he's going for the obviously lesser woman to catch the 10/10."
Mike slides the drink to her. "Well, the 10/10 is single and I am not."
"Well the 10/10 doesn't go for 3/10's."
With a pitying look, Mike replies, "3/10 seems harsh, Donna."
"Maybe to you, Mike, but I operate on a very different scale," Donna says, sliding the drink away from her as well.
Both Mike and Donna hold in a laugh as the lone man witnesses both their refusals with a blank stare. The whole thing becomes less funny as they watch the man get up from his seat at the bar, walking towards the two of them.
With a persona dripping in overconfidence, the man saunters over to the two of them. One problem: Despite his odd demeanor, Benjamin refused to sit any farther than three inches from Mike, so there isn't any space for the guy to talk to Mike.
His solution is to turn to Benjamin with a belittling tone. "Mind moving?" Shockingly, Benjamin complies, earning a dirty look from Mike.
The stranger introduces himself as Michael and Donna has to introduce the two of them as "Harriette Specter and Michelle Ross" to which Harvey disguises a laugh under the pretense of taking a sip.
"Harriette," the man tries out, his voice lowering into a faux deep voice, "That's quite an old fashioned name."
"That's so funny, my fiancé said the same thing when we met," Donna replies, giving her brightest smile.
Accepting his loss, the man turns to 'Michelle'. "And Michelle… I mean, it's such a good name that my parents gave me something similar."
"I've always hated my name," Mike drawls, "It just screams desperate." Surprisingly, this draws a discreet laugh from Benjamin.
The man straightens up in his chair. "Desperate, are you?"
"Who, me?" Mike raises his eyebrows, "No. That's why I hate it. It's nothing like me. I would never go up to two men hoping just one of them would take me home. That's desperation."
Grin never faltering, Michael leans closer to Mike, breath absolutely reeking of alcohol. Mike cringes away, looking anywhere but at the man.
"I guess I am a little desperate," Michael says. Suddenly, Mike feels a pressure on his thigh that sends daggers through his bloodstream. Mike's hand moves to push the man away but the hand— and the man— are no longer touching him.
Mike's toothpick of a boyfriend is glaring through his glasses, hand clasped firmly around the violating man's bicep— which is thicker than Benjamin's thigh. "That's my b- my girlfriend."
"I don't fucking believe that for a second," Michael says with a small laugh, "If this was my girl, I wouldn't let a better guy sit next to her for shit."
"Good thing he didn't let a better guy sit next to me," Mike bites back, cursing himself for his poor deescalation skills.
Michael moves his arm out of Benjamin's grasp, hands going up in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry! I didn't know she was yours! What do you even see in him anyway?"
"He makes me laugh."
The man, clearly annoyed at the two 'girls' wasting his time.
Though Mike feels relief, the feeling is short lived. Benjamin gets to be cold all night and lets some random sit between them then get mad when the guy thinks that Mike's available? He'd never thought of his level-headed boyfriend as bipolar, but now Mike is considering getting him tested.
Upset, Mike mumbles to Donna, "Being a woman sucks."
"Mik- Michelle, what's…" Donna watches Mike walk out of the bar, leaving his coat and wallet behind.
Sitting down on a bench outside, Mike fishes his phone out of his pocket. He's feeling petty. With a few clicks, Benjamin is officially his second speed dial contact with Harvey as his first.
The door to the bar opens and if he turns around and sees Benjamin, he might just forgive the guy. But it's not Benjamin. It's Donna.
"Mike, what's going on? I look away for two seconds and you and your little boytoy are breaking up!" Donna interrogates him, giving him a bewildered look. "And don't think I can't see you just changed your speed dial."
Mike groans pathetically, "Donna, it's not me, it's him!"
"That's usually said backwards."
"Yes, but he's been acting weird all afternoon," Mike sighs, "He won't talk to me, won't even hold my hand."
Donna seems to ponder this for a moment before saying, "Have you considered talking to him?"
"I don't want to, he's being a dick."
Shushing him, Donna replies, "Right, Mike, sweetheart, you're acting like a girlfriend. But, like, a stupid, jealous girlfriend. I know you look like one, but you're still Mike. I, the great and powerful Donna command thee to talk it out like big boys."
"In front of everyone?"
"No, wonder-boy, I'm going to bring him out here, and you're gonna stop acting like an ex-girlfriend and start acting like Mike Ross," Donna says sternly, turning around and opening the bar door.
Mike stops her with a hand. "Donna, you are heaven-sent."
In a sing-song voice, Donna calls back, "I know."
In less than a minute, the door is opening again and Benjamin is being forcefully pushed out. Mike's eyes trail up to him slowly as Benjamin takes a seat next to him. Neither of them talk for a moment, seemingly finding the words to say.
"Ben… I don't… I don't know what happened," Mike says, biting his lip uncertainly, "We didn't fight today, we didn't even really do anything today. I'm just confused as to—"
Benjamin interrupts him quickly, "I'm confused. That's why I've been acting… like I've been acting. When I saw… It sounds stupid."
"If we don't work this out, Donna's gonna kill us both, so I don't really care about how stupid it sounds," Mike reassures him, grabbing one of his hands gently.
With a sigh, Benjamin relents. "Michael, I'm gay."
"…Well, yes."
"Not like you, Michael. I know you like men… and women, but I'm not. Like that. I'm just not interested in women," Benjamin explains, "But I am interested in you. Obviously, not just because you're a man, but if you were a woman, I wouldn't be… dating you. So when I saw you— see you— looking identical to a woman… I just freaked out. I didn't wanna believe that my love for you was fickle enough for it to deter me, so I just decided to, uhm, ignore you for the night. And, yeah, I get it, that was stupid."
Mike agrees, "It was."
Benjamin huffs out a laugh. "But then that guy started talking you up. I tried to ignore it, but then you started talking to him in that… that way. I'm just gonna say it, you were being a dick. A true, 100% Michael Ross asshole. It was kind of a wake up. Even though I've never been less physically attracted to you, I could never not love who you are."
"Man, you're a dick. Telling me you love how much of an asshole I am," Mike says dejectedly, leaning his head on Benjamin's shoulder, "And that you only love me for my sexy figure…"
Benjamin kisses Mike's forehead. "Your beautiful body, your beautiful voice, your smart-ass personality. What's not to love?"
Mike stays silent for a moment before muttering quietly, "Home."
"What."
"We're going home and we're watching a stupid sappy romance film and then we're falling asleep on the couch."
Benjamin smiles. "I'll grab your coat and your wallet." The man disappears inside the bar for a moment, coming out shortly afterwards with Mike's things.
Donna bursts through the door right after. "Noah, I don't get a goodbye?"
"Sorry, Donna!" Mike hugs Donna goodbye whispering, "Tomorrow, do you want your usual drink?"
"Mike, of course I do."
"Consider your drinks taken care of for the month," Mike promises, turning to Benjamin who is currently hailing a cab.
Donna waves him goodbye, returning to the bar with a deserved grin.
On the way home, not an inch of space is between the two men. This trend continues all through the night until they fall asleep in each other's arms.
Written by a human in Ellipsus.