Work Text:
From: [email protected]
To: Updated list
Subject: PAID Release Forms & Emergency Contact
Hello all,
What with Vandal Savage's instatement as commissioner of the GCPD this spring, there's a higher chance of any of us needing to work together to combat threats in the absence of the GCPD. As such, Batman has requested that I send out this form to all of you, in case of encountering Poison Ivy during vigilante activities. The PAID (phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium) release form has been proven an effective method of responding to her attacks. Please do not hesitate to make use of the resources available to you: we are all here to protect Gotham, after all.
If you have any questions, complaints, or suggestions, please direct them to Batman, as the form and protocol were his idea. You should all have his email, but since some of you are new to this server, you can contact him regarding this at [email protected]. Please return the forms to [email protected] promptly.
Thank you for your time,
Oracle
[PAID_FORM.pdf]
PHYTOAPHRODISIAC-INDUCED DELIRIUM RELEASE FORM
I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
I acknowledge that the side effects and lasting medical complications of PAID have been explained to me in detail and that, should I contract it, I may not be adequately of sound mind to express my wishes for actions taken in treatment. I understand that, if gone untreated, the physical symptoms of PAID will worsen, ultimately to the point of death. I understand that the only known treatment for Poison Ivy’s PAID pollen involves sexual intercourse resulting in fulfilling orgasm and/or ejaculation (“the Treatment”). I understand that multiple sessions of the Treatment may be required to safely resolve the active phytoaphrodisiac pollen to the point of physical wellness.
I acknowledge that I will provide the names and emergency contact information below of no fewer than three persons I designate as viable sources of treatment (“Candidates”). I understand that I may designate as many Candidates as I wish. I understand that if I contract PAID, one or more of my designated Candidates will be contacted within six (6) hours of contagion for the Treatment. I understand that my Candidates must give consent to participate in the Treatment and have the right to refuse to participate, and that their wishes will be respected above my physical well-being. I acknowledge that the relationship between myself and my Treatment Candidate may or may not be of lasting significance, and that no obligation will be put upon either party following Treatment to continue association post-Treatment.
I understand that I have the option to specify if my Candidates are aware or may be informed of my vigilante activities, and that no information about my identity will be disclosed to my Candidates without my permission, in order to protect my identity and the identities of my teammates. I understand that if I do not specify this information, my Candidate may not be contacted for Treatment.
I understand that should none of my Candidates be willing or available to participate in the Treatment within the window of time allowed for safe action (6 hours), a suitable and willing Candidate will be designated for me by the individual I have appointed (“Attorney-In-Fact”) (see Medical Power of Attorney document). I understand that this decision will put a great deal of stress on my Attorney-In-Fact and that I have been instructed to rigorously vet, inform, and educate my Candidates beforehand in order to spare my Attorney-In-Fact the stress of making this time-sensitive decision.
I hereby warrant that I am of legal age, and that I am familiar with the contents of this document, which will be treated as legally binding henceforth.
_________________________________
Signature
_________________________________
Date
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: PAID forms
Hello,
This is an excellent idea: please pass on my compliments to Bruce. Attached is my copy of the form; if anything needs revision, let me know.
Batwoman
[batwoman_PaidForm.pdf]
NAME: Katherine Kane
Contact name — Approval to inform of identity
-
Maggie Sawyer – Yes
-
Renee Montoya – Yes
-
Selina Kyle – Yes
-
Diana Prince – Yes
-
Harleen Quinzel – No
From: [email protected]
Subject: Regarding PAID forms
Kate,
Oracle passed on your compliments: thank you. It's important to be prepared for every eventuality, and I knew I could trust you to see the importance of that.
Please do not put Harley Quinn on your list.
Batman
From: [email protected]
Subject: Forms you asked for and question
This whole thing seems a little ridiculous to me, but I've filled out a form anyways, just in case.
Did you always have an email account for "The Question", or did you make it for me after Vic passed away? Do you just have emails set up for all the vigilantes who pass through Gotham, waiting to see if they're interested in working with you, and if they are you give them the login information?
Signed,
?
[PAID_form_Question.pdf]
NAME: Renee Montoya
Contact name — Approval to inform of identity
-
Kate Kane – Yes
-
Helena Bertinelli – Yes
-
Valeria Johnson – Yes
-
Diana Prince but only if she's not busy or anything – Yes
-
Selina Kyle – No
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
I'm putting you on my list. Hope that's okay. I know things have been messy lately, but I'd like to work stuff out if that's a possibility.
Renee
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: No subject
Messy? You're in space. Bats live in caves.
Also, you shouldn't send me messages about this on my work email. It could compromise security.
Kate
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Regarding PAID forms
You don't get to choose who's on my list. Besides, why not? Harley's a lovely woman.
Very funny that you're signing your emails "Batman." You don't need to do that, Bruce. I know who you are.
Kate
From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
Yes, but I don't want Barbara reading these over my shoulder, so to speak. That's the Commissioner's daughter, it still feels weird.
Renee
From: [email protected]
Subject: Come on Bruce
Seriously, Bruce? I've worked with Pamela, I think I can handle her. Aw, is this just an excuse to get me to tell you how I feel about you? You don't need a fancy form for that.
Selina
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Come on Bruce
Selina, this is serious business. Please fill out the PAID form.
Batman
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Regarding PAID forms
I cannot stress enough that I do not want to discuss the details of this with you.
Operational security is no joke.
Batman
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Come on Bruce
Bruce, anyone who's ever worked with Pam for any significant time has had to figure out a solution to this on their own. Do you really think Harley needs one of these forms?
Admit it, you put me on the email list because you can't get enough of me. It is cute, I won't lie, but not as cute as finding you out a window trussed up in my whip with no shirt and your [Cut for length: click to read more]
From: [email protected]
To: All
Subject: Email correspondence & privacy
Just a reminder that as administrator I am party to the contents of all emails sent on this server. Please, please keep this in mind when drafting mail. If you have an issue with this policy, take it up with Batman.
Oracle
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Message from BW
Batman says to tell you to fill out the form.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Understandable concern. To answer your question, yes: you're on my form too. I know we can both approach this like adults.
From: [email protected]
[Draft]
Subject: Re: Re: (no subject)
W hat do you mean I'm on your form
From: [email protected]
Subject: The stupid sex form
Well, somebody got their claws all tangled up about this. Fine, fine, I know when I'm beaten: here's my copy, though I maintain it's ridiculous for me to be involved in this.
Selina
P.S. Don't bother worrying about contacting me if something happens—I can deal with it on my own.
[SK_PAIDform.pdf]
NAME: Selina Kyle
Contact name — Approval to inform of identity
-
Bruce Wayne – He knows
-
Kate Kane – Yes
-
Diana Prince – No, keep her guessing
-
Zatanna Zatara – Yes
-
Eiko Hasigawa – Yes
-
Harleen Quinzel – Yes
-
Pamela Isley – Yes
From: [email protected]
Subject: Regarding your PAID form
Please do not put Poison Ivy on your emergency contact form.
Batman
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Regarding your PAID form
Bruce, do you want me to take your name off my form? It sounds a little like you're angling for that. Pam is, if not a friend, at least a coworker. That merits some level of respect. I say again, people who work with Pam on a regular basis should be exempt from this sort of bureaucracy.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Regarding your PAID form
Selina, you know I respect you greatly, and I would never dream of trying to limit who you can or cannot see. But please understand why, in this case, I have had some doubts about Ivy's placement on your list. Nevertheless, I see your viewpoints, and am going to extend a special circumstance here. Your list can stay the way it is.
Thank you for working with me on this. My apologies for the trouble.
Bruce
From: [email protected]
Subject: the fuck form
hiya bats!
thanks for the reminder, i almost forgot to fill my list out for this year!
harls
[HQ_PAIDform.pdf]
NAME: Harleen Quinzel
Contact name — Approval to inform of identity
-
Pamela Isley – Yes
-
Pamela Isley – Yes
-
Pamela isley – Yeppers
-
Pamela Isley – for sure
-
Pamela Isley – yes
-
Selina Kyle – No