Chapter Text
“Anakin, no!”
Even as Padme shouted, Anakin turned to look at her. His lightsaber was ignited, and the look in his eyes absolutely frightened her. It wasn’t the sweet, lovably affable young man that had come back into her life. It was like a spirit of vengeance had settled into Anakin’s body and took him over. Like he wasn’t himself.
”They’re animals,” Anakin hissed. “They’re monsters. You…you saw what they did to my mother. An innocent woman, and they killed her. They tortured her to death…”
”I saw what they did!” Padme said. “But what about the women and children, Ani? They didn’t do anything.”
Anakin seemed to be wavering in that moment. He seemed to be considering the women, preparing to shield their children with their bodies.
Padme didn’t know if Anakin thought the same way, but she knew that even the Tusken Raiders had families, children. Families that they’d protect with their lives.
”Look at them, Anakin,” Padme said. “What differences do you see?”
Anakin’s lightsaber was shaking in his hands.
Then, slowly…
…he deactivated it.
”A good son would have avenged Shmi,” he said. “But a good Jedi controls their anger. Doesn’t kill." He raised his voice. “Get out of here. You’re truly blessed by the Force that I didn’t do worse.”
***
They took Shmi back to the speeder. Padme turned to him. “You did the right thing, Ani,” she said.
”I’m not a good son. I couldn’t save her.”
”Anakin Skywalker, you are a good son,” Padme said gently. “You went through hell to save her. You braved the Tusken camps to save her. And you at least gave her comfort before she died. She didn’t see one of her torturers before she died. She saw you.”
Anakin took a deep breath. Then, “But I could have done more.”
”You didn’t kill innocents.”
”I could have at least killed her torturers. That would have made me a good son.”
”Your mother wouldn’t want you to think you were a bad son,” Padme said, softly. “She loved you. She still loves you. Those were her last words to you, Ani."
Anakin exhaled.
”You’re right. I…I guess I’ll take a while to get it.” Then, “Thank you, Padme. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Padme bit her lip. She knew it was another way, really, of Anakin saying he loved her. She…yes, she loved him too. She couldn’t return it; she didn’t want to ruin his career as a Jedi. But she could carry it as a lone candle in the darkness, a flame of light and reason. Keeping Anakin safe.
For him, she’d keep the darkness inside him, that darkness that wove through him like cold iron, at bay. That would say she loved him, without saying it out loud.