Chapter Text
What the actual fuck was going on?
What the fuck?!
Stiles wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down right now because honestly what the fuck? Stiles wasn't sure when everything got all messed up. He'd been trying to get away from Donovan who was trying to eat him like honest to god trying to munch on his bones like they were roasted lamb on a buffet table before he went to kill his dad too. Stiles clearly wasn't much in terms of a meal.
He was just trying to get to safety, just trying to get away from the danger coming his way because nothing says danger like someone trying to chow down on your bones like they're starving. Obviously something got messed up and everything was going to the dogs or the wolves, as would fit Beacon Hills. Anyway Stiles was in trouble as per usual, not that anyone cared or gave a flying fig.
He had to get away, it was the only thought running through his head and so he started to climb the scaffolding to try escaping the actual shark teeth skimming his ankles. He didn't mean for the pole to roll away as his feet pushed him farther away from the edge once he reached the top. He heard the pole go through flesh before he even knew what was happening and he froze, the air left his lungs as he moved to look over the edge, his heart stopped before beating rapidly against his rib cage.
He'd killed Donovan.
He had a full blown panic attack at the realization, had even tried to pull the pole out of the other boy because no one deserved that kind of death. He knew his hands were shaking and he knew Donovan's blood was soaking his shirt. He'd been there, struggling for at least twenty minutes before Scott finally found him. Now though, he stood outside in the rain trying to explain to Scott, to his best friend, to his brother - despite the fact that they've been getting distant- what happened inside.
The only problem?
Scott wasn't listening to him as per Scott's usual.
"You killed him? You killed Donovan?"
The accusatory tone in Scott's voice gritted on Stiles' nerves. Did Scott truly believe that he would kill anyone for fun? Did Scott not realize that this was his fault? Had Scott been there when Stiles called, maybe Donovan would be alive! Maybe Stiles wouldn't have had to accidentally murder someone!
"Well, he was going to kill my dad. He was going to kill me! Was I supposed to just let him eat me?"
"You weren't supposed to do this. None of us are."
Stiles felt his lip curl upwards as he tilted his head in confusion, a slightly eyebrow raised.
"You think I had a choice?"
"There's always a choice."
Scott had that self entitled and self righteous tone that made Stiles want to slap him right upside the head. If he could Stiles would have slapped that self righteous right out of Scott years ago.
"Yeah, well, I can't do what you can, Scott. I know you wouldn't have done it. You probably would've just figured something out, right?"
Stiles watched Scott frown.
"I'd try."
Stiles' temper snapped hard. Can you blame him? He's tired, he's drained and by some miracle he's alive, he's also soaked to all heavens, the heaviness of the rain weighing down on his bones. Everything hurt, mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually so yes he snapped.
"Yeah, because you're Scott McCall! You're the True Alpha! Guess what? All of us can't be True Alphas. Some of us have to make mistakes. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. Some of us are human!"
"So, you had to kill him?"
"Scott, he was going to kill my dad. He was going to eat me! I didn't have a choice and it was an accident!"
"But the way that it happened... There's a point when it's... It's not self-defense anymore!"
"What are you even talking about? I didn't have a choice, it was an accident Scott! I was trying to get away! You don't even believe me, do you?"
Stiles saw the flicker of doubt in Scott’s face.
"I want to."
"Okay, all right, so... So, believe me then. Scott, say you believe me. Say it. Say you believe me."
Stiles knew he was begging, but Scott had been his best friend for as long as Stiles could remember. They always had each other's backs and lately it seems like no one had Stiles' back. The last person to have his back had been run out of town because of Scott and he took the only others who would stand up for him, who fight for him, who fight by his side. Stiles understands, but right now he wishes any one of them were here because then this wouldn't even be happening in the first place. He'd have been safe or he'd have called someone who would always answer his calls.
"Stiles, we can't kill people that we're trying to save."
"Say you believe me."
"We can't kill people!"
Stiles felt the words pierce his soul, his heart breaking at the sound of utter contempt in Scott's voice and his shoulders sagged as he looked at his former friend. Former because after tonight Stiles didn't think he had it in himself to fight for someone who had so little faith in him, to fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for him. Stiles thought of Peter and how the Alpha would have believed him, how Stiles would not have needed to explain himself to Peter because Peter would have never let him get into this situation. Stiles immediately wished Peter was here, Peter would have never let this happen to him. He'd have been protected with the older Alpha. He missed the Hales with every fierce part of his being, he missed his wolves, his heart hurt for an entirely different reason now. Peter would have believed him and he said as much to Scott.
"Peter would have believed me without hesitation. Peter would have been here when I called, Peter would have answered the goddamn phone knowing there’s a fucking wendigo hybrid on the loose! Where were you Scott?!”
Scott scoffed and Stiles tensed immediately knowing that whatever came out of Scott’s mouth next was going to be an insult towards Peter. Stiles never understood how Scott never grew to like Peter after everything the man did to be better, to do better. Scott scowled at him after a moment and Stiles felt his hackles rise, a defense for the older Alpha quick on his tongue if Scott got out of line.
"Peter isn't here Stiles. He wouldn't have had a problem because Peter enjoys murder, but we were trying to help Donovan. You stole his chance at a better life."
"Donovan literally would have eaten me Scott! What aren't you understanding? He was a Chimera! A cross between a lamprey and a wendigo, they literally eat human beings down to the bones, what were you trying to save?! He fucking bit me with his weird ass mouth hands Scott!”
Scott shook his head in disappointment at Stiles.
“You were never suppose to do this Stiles, we don’t murder people. That’s why Peter had to go, he was a murderer. Did you know he killed Gerald Argent after Derek bit him? He was already dying and Peter killed him for no reason.”
Peter had not killed Gerald Argent for no reason. Peter had found out that Gerald had taken Stiles and he killed him so that Stiles would feel safe again. Stiles shut his eyes not wanting to watch as Scott walked away from him leaving him standing alone in the rain. Stiles looked at his shoes after a long moment. He wasn't sure how long it'd been when he realized he was mumbling to himself, the words finally registering as the rain started to slow down and his voice hit his ears. He sounded desperate even to his self.
"It was self defense. I did the right thing, Peter would have believed me. No, not would have, Peter would believe me."
Stiles shoved his hand into his pocket almost unconsciously and pulled out his phone his breath picking up rapidly. He needed Peter, he needed his Alpha. The thought of Peter being his Alpha didn't process fully as he unlocked his phone scrolling to the contact he needed. He froze for a moment.
Peter had packed up his things after the Mexico debacle with Derek. Scott had been kicking up a storm about how they didn’t kill people as Peter stood there covered in Kate Argent’s blood, he had given Peter an ultimatum to leave Beacon Hills or Scott would have Deaton strip Peter of the Alpha power. Peter had growled at the threat, took one look at the plea in Stiles’ eyes before calming down and he left with Erica, Isaac, Ethan, Cora, Malia as well as Jackson in tow. He texted Stiles weeks after he disappeared to check in and let Stiles know he was there if he needed him not that Scott would ever took him up on the idea to invite Peter back even for help. Stiles rolled his eyes. Stiles had kept in touch for the simple fact that he enjoyed talking to the Alpha. His finger hovered over the button before he clicked it and raised the phone to his ear.
Peter picked up on the second ring.
"Hello sweetheart. Erica! Cut it out before I let Isaac have a go!"
Stiles smiled.
"Hey Zombie-Wolf. Are- are you busy?"
"Not exactly, the pups are rough housing in the yard. What's wrong sweetheart? You sound distraught."
Stiles took a shaky breath and felt his panic rise a bit. He wanted to cry. He could have died tonight. He could have died tonight and he had no one to go to for comfort, no one to hold him while he sobbed in relief. He let out a broken sob.
"Stiles?"
"Peter I did something- but it was -Peter it was self defense I swear."
"What happened Stiles?"
"The Dread Doctors were making hybrids. We had a Chimera, a cross between a wendigo and a lamprey. He t-tried to eat me. I had no choice, it was an accident. Peter it- I was so scared Alpha.”
Peter sucked in a breath and Stiles felt a yearning in his heart to be close, to be held by his Alpha.
"Stiles talk to me. What happened? What was an accident? Are you okay darling?"
"I'm okay. I'm okay now, but I- I had- I had to climb a scaffolding to ge-get away. When I got to the top there was a pole, I - I - um I didn't pay any mind to it I just crawled, but my foot rolled it over the edge and it impaled him. It was an accident, but he was going to eat me. I felt his breath on my ankles, he- he-"
"Okay, it's okay Stiles. Are you safe now? Do I need to come back? I will drop everything right now for you sweetheart, say the word."
"Scott- he didn't believe me. He thinks I did it on purpose! He thinks I wanted to murder him! He didn't even let me explain what actually happened. He wasn't listening Peter!"
Peter growled over the phone and Stiles knew it wasn't at him. The sound made Stiles relax just slightly.
"Where was Scott during this whole thing? Where was Scott when you were fighting for your life Stiles?"
"I- I- I don't know."
"Stiles do you need me? Do I need to come get you? Scott might be the Alpha there right now, but Beacon Hills is and always be will Hale territory. If you need me sweetheart say the word and I'll be on the next flight to you."
And there in lies the problem. Stiles did need Peter, he needed Peter like he needs air. He was so hopelessly in love with Peter Hale and not just Peter, Derek had wormed his way in too, but Stiles was never too sure where he stood with the other were. He always felt so safe with Peter and Derek, they had never hurt him, had never tried to. Stiles hadn't felt safe since they left, but he was trying and he knew they needed to be away to heal their own wounds as well as help the others with theirs. He knew they would have left even if Scott hadn't made them leave.
"Don't. I just needed to talk to you about it because Scott didn't believe me and I knew- I know you would."
"Stiles as long as you're safe. You did what you had to do and I don't blame you. If you need me Stiles just say the word. I'll be right over whenever."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize for surviving. Never apologize for surviving. Never. I'm just glad you're alive."
Stiles took a deep breath and Peter hummed over the phone.
"Breathe Stiles. It's okay, I'm on your side. Always, for anything. You have us, you have your pack sweetheart. We will stand by you."
Stiles knew that. Of course he did. Peter and him always managed to be on the same side regardless of what Scott was always trying to do. Stiles always depended on Peter the same way the Alpha depended on him. Stiles inhaled and before he could talk himself out of saying what he wanted he was speaking again.
"I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts."
Peter choked on the other end and breathed out deeply.
"I know the feeling. I miss you too Stiles. I'm here for you okay? Whatever and whenever you need. Remember that."
Stiles went to say something else when Peter growled in warning.
"Move Derek, I'm talking to Stiles."
Stiles heard a high whine and held a giggle.
"Peter please, let me talk to him."
"No, mine."
Stiles let out his giggle.
"It's okay. We can talk later Peter. Let me talk to Derek."
"Okay. Later. If you need anything, I'm here. Always Stiles. Here Derek."
"Stiles?"
"Hey Sourwolf."
"Are you okay baby?"
Stiles shut his eyes and took a deep breath, a choked up sort of sob was stuck in his throat. He missed his wolves, but he was gonna be okay because they believed him.
"I will be, I miss you Sourwolf.”
"Do I need to come home? Peter and I will absolutely come home for you baby."
"No, no I'm okay for right now. Thank you for believing in me, for believing me."
"Of course Stiles, you should have never been in that position in the first place. I would have been there in a heartbeat if you’d called Stiles, tell me you know that?”
"I know, you always answer. Gods, I miss you and Peter."
"We miss you too Stiles."
"I have to go Der, my dad has got to be worried sick and it’s raining, but I have to fix the Jeep before I go home.”
“The Jeep broke down?”
“Yeah.”
“Where are you?”
“The clinic.”
“You’re close enough to walk to the loft, I left the Camaro in the parking lot, the keys are under the bumper. Use the Camaro.”
“I can’t use your car Derek.”
“You can because I said you can and I’ll know you have a reliable car. You can get the Jeep tomorrow, but take the Camaro too.”
“Okay, okay. Thank you Derek.
"You’re welcome baby, be safe and if you need us home just say the word."
"Okay. Bye Der."
"Bye baby."
Derek hung up and Stiles didn't realize how much he needed that, but he was glad he made the call. He figured everything was going to be okay.
Oh how wrong he was.