Work Text:
“Grayson, we have a problem.”
Dick sat up in bed and knuckled his eyes in an attempt to scare the sleep away. There was nothing like crashing at the manor after a hard patrol, his bed was so comfortable and he always slept so well. So why had Jason decided to interrupt it at, he glanced at the clock on his nightstand, 9 am?
The brother in question stood silhouetted in his door way, an irritated glare on his face. If Dick didn’t know better he’d think that glare was one of Damian’s with the way his eyebrows were scrunched, but it was early and after an overly difficult patrol night so Dick left it as the sleep deprivation talking.
“Wait, did you just call me Grayson?”
“Tt, of course.”
“Why?” he frowned, there was only one of his siblings that called him by his last name and clicked his tongue like that, and it wasn’t Jason.
Jason’s scowl deepened, and doubled in its Damian like effect, “It seems that last night’s battle with the wizard had unintended consequences.”
Now Dick was really confused, Jason didn’t speak that way. Not that he couldn’t or never ever did- he liked to imitate Damian as a way of irritating the youngest Robin-, it’s just that Jason wouldn’t have said that, besides what did last night’s wizard fight have to do with today? Unless the wizard was back and had disguised himself as Jason. That would explain why his brother seemed so off.
“Jaybird, you feeling ok? You don’t seem yourself,” Dick hazarded.
Jason rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Grayson. I’m not Jason.”
Ok, he wasn’t expecting the wizard to give himself up that easily, but he could roll with it, “Then who are you?”
Not-Jason looked like he wanted to strangle Dick, it was the closest he’d come to Jason’s mannerisms all morning and Dick would have felt a little proud of the attempt, if he hadn’t just admitted he wasn’t actually Jason, “I’m Damian. I believe the wizard we fought cast some kind of body switch spell on us all.”
“What? No, you know what, just no. Jason whatever your trying to pull, stop it. It’s not funny,” Dick tugged his comforter back towards him, “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go back to sleep.”
“Grayson, listen to me. I’m not joking about this, you’re not even in your own body either. If you’d take a moment to check you’d believe me.”
Dick didn’t have to check, because the next moment Jason or Damian or whoever it was standing in his doorway suddenly stumbled forward as Dick himself came crashing into the room.
He took one look at Dick in the bed and DamiJason sprawled on the floor before craning his neck back towards the hallway and hollering, “Timmy! I found our bodies!”
A moment later Damian- or was it Tim- appeared and surveyed the room, “So we’ve all found each other, that’s good. The next question is how do we switch back?”
DamiJason had made it back to his feet and was glaring at Dick or whoever was in control of Dick’s body, “Careful where you’re going, Todd.”
“What? Not used to being in a bigger manlier body Bat Brat?”
“Tt, I can handle being stuck as you, I was more worried about what you might do to Grayson.”
“Can we stop fighting for a second and figure out how we’re going to get back to normal? The last thing I want is to be stuck as the Demon Spawn forever.”
“Don’t worry, Drake. You’re the last person I want in my body too.”
“Ok, Damian that sounded so wrong. Don’t say things like that while you’re me.”
“Well you should-”
Dick tried to tune out the argument that sprung up between his three younger siblings. Their noise was doing nothing for the headache he had coming on. It was too much, the body swapping, the arguing, and what he suspected was a negative reaction to a lack of caffeine in Tim’s body spelled migraine and Dick did not deal well with migraines.
“Guys,” he tried, “Guys!” a little more force this time, but still no response from his family, “Enough!” he yelled at last. Silence fell over the room and Dick sighed with relief and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to stand.
“No more bickering, not until we’ve done something to fix this, my head can’t take it,” he pointed a glare at Tim.
His brother had the decency to look sheepish (which Dick thought was kind of adorable on Damian’s face), “It’s nine-ish so by now I’ve usually had a lot less sleep and a lot more caffeine. You’re probably feeling the withdrawals.”
“I’d figured as much,” Dick grumbled, “You’ve really got to take better care of yourself.”
“So, what are we going to do?” Jason asked crossing his arms. Dick still couldn’t get over the fact that he was seeing himself do that motion, and wondered how much it really looked like him or if everyone was just seeing Jason’s mannerisms.
“Has anyone told Bruce yet?” Dick asked.
The silence he received, plus the shuffling of feet told him all he needed to know, “Ok, first things first, we tell Bruce, he needs to know that we’re all mixed up, and that Tim won’t be coming into work today.”
Tim gasped, hands flying to his head, “No, no no no no, I forgot. I have a presentation today. Dick, you’re going to have to give it for me, I’ll prep you on everything, maybe even put a comm in your ear so you can just say what I sa-”
Dick put a hand on his shoulder to stop the panicked stream of words, “Hold on one second there, Tim. One thing at a time. We can figure out your presentation in a minute, but we have got to figure out this body swap thing first. We don’t want this to end up permanent."
Tim took in a deep breath, “Right. Ok, let’s tell Bruce and he can contact Zatanna, or the League. Someone there should know what to do about all this.”
Damian nodded, “That’s the first good plan I’ve heard from you all week, Drake.”
“Damian I swear, I will kill you, whether you are Jason or not.”
“Try it.”
Jason stepped between them, “No. Do not try it, I refuse to die a second time because my brother’s killed me while I wasn’t even in my own body.”
Dick could feel another fight coming on, “Damian, you and Jason go tell Bruce what happened and then clue Alfred in next. Tim try to get Zatanna on the line, the faster she knows about this the better. Then everyone meet me in the kitchen for a debrief.”
“And what are you planning to do, cook us all breakfast?” Jason asked.
“Breakfast is your own business, I’m going to drink some coffee, without it I’m afraid I won’t be any good to anyone.”
Dick was on his fourth cup of coffee by the time everyone made it back, the coffee so far had put a dent in his headache, but he’d also taken a few pain pills just to be safe.
Damian and Jason were the first to report, Bruce took the news as well as one might expect. He was furious, then resigned and sent Jason and Damian off with ‘please don’t kill each other, I’d like to still have all four of you when this is over.’
Tim told them that Zatanna was on her way. They were lucky the magician was close by and would arrive within a few hours.
Dick made everyone promise to stay at the manor, that way they’d be there when Zatanna came, plus they had less opportunities to do something stupid if they were all in one place. The only thing left was the problem of Tim’s presentation.
“You have to go for me, Dick. I can’t miss this.”
“But what if Zatanna comes, or something about how we’re all switched changes while I’m gone?” Dick asked, “It would be best if we stuck together.”
“Zatanna will have to figure out what’s wrong before she can try anything, plus we’ll be in constant communication via the comms. I’m not going to let you go in there without me in your ear to guide you,” Tim was pleading at this point.
Dick was tempted to hold out a little longer just to see more of Damian looking adorable, he never made the face Tim was currently making, but his baby brother was giving him a glare from across the room and Dick knew when not to push his luck. He did make a mental note to log into the security footage later and get a screen grab of this moment.
“Alright, I’ll do it.”
“Great, the meeting starts in an hour,” Tim said, and dragged Dick and his coffee off to get them ready.
Dick was trying to think of the presentation as a performance, not a real thing. He would not imagine all the ways it could go wrong, nor would he worry about the consequences that might occur if he didn’t manage to convince the board of whatever it was Tim was trying to convince them, he would be calm and collected.
He didn’t have to worry about memorizing anything, just his posture and the delivery of the lines Tim fed him over the comm. He did parroting his younger brother and putting on a show of confidence until, “Go away Damian, I’m in the middle of something,” Dick repeated the words without thinking, when their meaning hit him his face paled, “No, I didn’t I’m sorry.”
He was really messing this up now, he hadn’t had time to study any of the material and if Tim was going to get wrapped up in a Damian situation he wasn’t sure Tim would even be back to finish the presentation. Luckily for him, Tim seemed to catch on to what happened and took over again, coming up with some kind of miracle excuse that Dick delivered with not quite as flawless execution, but it worked and his audience chuckled.
“Sorry about earlier, Dick. Damian came to announce that Zatanna had arrived,” Tim apologized over the comm after the meeting was over and Dick was safely back in the limo he’d arrived in.
“Wait Zatanna’s there? Why didn’t you tell me? I should be there, not leaving some meeting.”
“It was an important meeting, and it’s fine, she’s pulled Damian and Jason into the cave and has been running magical tests on them since she arrived, apparently she only needed one person but Bruce insisted on both of them going. Probably to keep us from fighting, again, I’m heading down now so just come find us when you get here.”
Dick didn’t have to be told to find them, he made a beeline for the cave the moment Alfred pulled up to the manor. Inside he found everyone crowded around the computer.
“What’s going on?”
Jason turned to him, “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”
Dick sighed, “Just give me both.”
Jason shrugged, “Zatanna can’t break the spell, but she does know how.”
“Please tell me it doesn’t involve some kind of strange brotherly bonding ritual, because with the way things have been going today I don’t think that’s going to work.”
Jason grinned, and Dick finally saw what everyone else seemed to in himself, the bright confident grin of someone who was having a little too much fun with everything.
“Now that would be a mess. No we just have to find the magician who cast it and break his,” Jason glanced over his shoulder at Zatanna, “What was it again?”
“The source of the spell,” Zatanna answered turning to face them, “This kind of curse is usually cast with the help of an item. The item can take many forms but it will most likely be something he can keep close to him at all times, like a necklace or bracelet.”
“We’re trying to locate him now,” Jason added.
“What do you mean locate him? I thought we handed him over to the authorities last night?” Dick asked.
“He escaped,” Damian answered moving to stand beside him.
“Of course he did,” Dick sighed.
Damian frowned at him, Dick was amazed with the way the kid could get Jason’s face to scrunch into the familiar quizzical look, “You haven’t made a single joke today, what’s the matter?”
Dick could list off all the things that were wrong, he settled for, “I’ve still got a migraine.”
Damian nodded, “You don’t handle those well.”
“Tell me about it. I don’t know how Tim can do what he does and still be sane.”
“I wouldn’t say he’s completely sane,” Damian gave him a half grin.
“I heard that, Demon Brat. I’m saner than you’ll ever be.”
“I’d like to see you prove that,” Damian shot back.
“Got him!” Tim said and Dick wondered why his two youngest brother’s even bothered anymore. Their bickering felt more like a time filler than anything, especially today.
“He’s at the magic shop on Fifth, if we hurry we can catch him,” Tim said.
“Would you all like me to come, as magical back up?” Zatanna offered.
“We’d appre-” Dick started but Jason cut him off.
“Thanks but no thanks, we can handle it. You’ve done more than enough already,” he said.
Zatanna nodded and Bruce agreed, “It’s probably best that only those who were affected go. We don’t want any more mix ups.”
Once they were suited up and ready they headed out. When Jason pushed to get to the front of the group Dick asked, “What are you doing, Jay?”
Jason grinned, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m you, which means I get to be the leader.”
Dick frowned, “That is not how this works.”
“Right now it is,” Jason said and before shooting his grappling hook and swinging ahead of them.
Dick let him, simply because he was fascinated to see what he looked like moving. Even without the acrobatic training Dick had, Jason still seemed to make swinging acrobatic and fluid. Dick himself was having a harder time, Tim didn’t have the same muscle memory as him, sure he’d swung across buildings as much as Dick had, but there were stark differences in the way the two moved.
Damian seemed to be having a little trouble as well, which made sense. He was used to being compact and now he was the opposite. It would be interesting to see the way they fought.
The wizard spotted them first, shooting off a fireball in their direction. The projectile missed everyone but severed Dick’s line. He tried to recover, but Tim’s body just didn’t move the same, and he ended up tumbling onto a roof in what could only be described as an ungraceful heap.
It took him a minute to get down, and when he did the others were already fighting the wizard. Dick had to hand it to the guy, he had great crowd control skills. He’d materialized a sword to hack and slash at Damian, and had sent what looked like a giant bunny after Tim. Jason was the only one going hand to hand with him.
Dick joined Tim, not wanting to see him get mauled by a giant rabbit. On his quick glance, Tim seemed to be having the most difficulty fighting out of all of them, which surprised Dick. He should have it easier being closer in size to Damian than the rest of them.
“Mind if I lend a hand?” Dick asked firing off his spare hook to try and hogtie the thing.
“That would be nice. Damian moves weird.”
“If it makes you feel any better, so do you.”
“It doesn’t, but thanks anyway.”
During their short exchange they managed to topple the bunny, when it fell it disappeared with a snap. A look told Dick that Damian had dispatched the animated sword, having claimed it for his own.
Together all four advanced on the magician to join Jason, “You still haven’t gotten this guy?” Dick asked dragging his brother out of the line of a second fire bolt.
“It’s not my fault, it’s yours. You might be super flexible Dick, but you punch like a girl.”
“For that I might let you take him out on your own, ‘leader.’” Dick said.
“I knew you weren’t going to let that be,” Jason said throwing a baterang.
“I hate to break up this party, but has anyone found the magic source yet?” Damian knocked aside a second flying sword before glancing at them.
Jason pointed at the wizard’s hat, “He touches the brim of his hat before every spell.”
“So what’s the plan, ‘leader’?” Dick asked.
Jason rolled his eyes, “Enough with that, I don’t know everyone attack at once?”
“Why don’t we try distracting him?” Dick suggested, “Jay you and Timmers take the front, Dami and I will take his back.”
“I’ll ignore that name slip, since it’s easier I guess,” Jason said before charging forward at the magician, Tim followed his lead allowing Dick and Damian to sneak behind him.
Damian made an early swipe at the hat and missed, making the wizard turn in their direction. Tim saw his chance and attempted to snatch it, only for the wizard to jump out of the way, and back in their direction.
Jason didn’t bother trying to be sneaky, he lunged at the wizard, knocking him backwards and close enough for Dick to get a grip on the hat. He tore it off the guy’s head and handed it to Damian who sliced it neatly in two.
Energy flowed from the hat outward and enveloped all four Robins. Dick’s headache intensified to the point where he was sure his head was going to explode, and he blacked out.
When he woke up he was happy to note that his headache was gone. He sat up and looked down at himself, the black and blue Nightwing uniform telling him all he needed to know. The others were waking up and examining themselves.
“Everyone back to normal?” he asked.
Jason frowned and looked down at his hands then back up at Dick, “Grayson, I think we’ve still got a problem.”
“What? But, I thought-”
Jason grinned, “Just kidding, I’m fine.”
Dick glared at him, “Just for that you can be the one who explains to Batman why we let the wizard get away again.”