Chapter Text
THE OCEAN IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, JAEHYUN.
(A Chaotic Beach Trip Nobody Should Have Approved)
The morning sun hit the beach like someone turned the brightness filter to 200%.
Which was unfortunate, because the boys of BOYNEXTDOOR had collectively slept 3 hours and were now stumbling out of the van like six NPCs buffering at once.
Sungho stepped out first, dramatic as always.
The wind hit his hair perfectly.
Like the universe was his personal stylist.
He stopped, took out his phone, and recorded a slow-motion hair flip.
Woonhak: "Bro we LITERALLY just got here."
Sungho: "I have fans to impress. Respect the craft."
Behind him, Jaehyun jumped out of the van wearing sunglasses so big they covered half his face.
Jaehyun: "Kids, gather round. Your father has arrived."
Taesan: "We didn't ask for a father."
Riwoo: already eating a donut "Can we vote him out?"
30 seconds pass
Leehan wandered off immediately, staring into the horizon like he received a spiritual prophecy from the seagulls.
Leehan: "I really miss her, man."
Jaehyun: "Bet she bad."
Leehan: slow head turn "My grandma, bro."
Silence.
Meanwhile on the other side (by that i mean right next to them, imagine theres some people but then again they're the only ones there ok idk ✌️💔)
Sungho noticed Taesan glaring at a crab.
Sungho: "Taesan, be nice to the locals."
Taesan: "I AM nice. I just prefer the personality of bitches, not chicks."
Sungho: proud head pat "That's my Taesan."
Taesan: "I feel both judged and appreciated."
Woonhak burst out laughing so hard he nearly inhaled a seashell.
.
Before Jaehyun even went near the water, he had a mission.
A terrible, doomed mission.
To flirt.
With literally anyone.
Attempt #1 — Taesan (The Wall)
Jaehyun approached Taesan with the swagger of a man who had watched one too many K-dramas.
"Taesan," he said, sliding his sunglasses halfway down his nose.
"You look extra handsome today. Like a Greek statue. A masterpiece—"
Taesan blinked.
"Can you move? You're blocking the sun."
Jaehyun froze.
The rejection hit him physically.
"My heart," he whispered.
Taesan already walked away.
Attempt #2 — Leehan (The Oblivious One)
Jaehyun regrouped.
He approached Leehan, who was quietly stacking seashells for aesthetic purposes.
"Leehan," Jaehyun purred, leaning on a palm tree like a man in a perfume commercial.
"You're glowing today."
"Thanks," Leehan said without looking up.
Then after a beat:
"Can you hand me that shell? The pink one. Yeah. Thanks."
Jaehyun stared directly into the camera that wasn't even filming.
"...He didn't even flinch."
The ocean breeze sounded like it was laughing at him.
Attempt #3 — Sungho (The Final Boss)
Jaehyun needed confidence.
He hyped himself up.
"I'm Jaehyun. Charming. Handsome. Radiant. I can do this."
Meanwhile Sungho was on the sand, quietly posing for selfies like a runway model who paid rent by influencing.
Dead serious expression.
Hand in hair.
Angles so sharp they could commit crimes.
Jaehyun strutted over and leaned in way too close.
"Sungho," he breathed dramatically.
"You shine brighter than the—"
Sungho recoiled like Jaehyun was a mosquito.
"Bro. What are you doing."
"I'm complimenting you."
"Why does it feel like harassment?"
Jaehyun gasped theatrically, stumbling back as if stabbed.
He placed a hand on his forehead like some Victorian widow collapsing on a sofa.
"So that's how it is," he whispered.
"Nobody loves me."
Sungho took another selfie.
"You'll survive."
Jaehyun clutched his chest.
"No...
ONLY THE OCEAN UNDERSTANDS ME!"
EMERGENCY
Jaehyun, for reasons unknown to mankind, walked straight into the ocean like he was the main character of a tragic romance movie.
Jaehyun: "Only the ocean loves me!"
A wave immediately slapped him.
Jaehyun:
"Only the waves understand my pain—"
A wave:
SLAMS HIM IN THE FACE... a-fucking-gain
He vanished under the water for a full second.
Riwoo: munching donut "You good bro?"
Jaehyun: face full of salt water "No."
Woonhak screamed and IMMEDIATELY sprinted to the shoreline like a medieval peasant witnessing a king fall.
Woonhak:
"NOOOO—DAD—DON'T LEAVE FOR THE MILK AGAIN—"
He dove forward like he was about to save him.. (he wasn't, he stopped three feet from the water because it was "cold").
Woonhak: "HE'S DROWNING—HE'S GOING TO GET THE MILK AND LEAVE US—SUNGHOOOO!!!"
Sungho didn't even look up from checking his reflection in his phone.
Sungho: "He's fine. Jaehyun floats. He's like 60% air." Sungho watched the whole thing like someone watching kids fight in a playground.
Did not move.
Did not blink.
Just adjusted his hair as woonhak kept screaming his dad is gonna die, concerning how a person would laugh while yelling their father is about to die.
Sungho:
"He's fine. Jaehyun sinks dramatically but floats emotionally."
Then he pulled out his phone, turned on slow-mo mode, and walked forward like a model as the wind caught his hair.
Jaehyun, actually struggling:
"I DO NOT FLOAT—SUNGHOOO—"
Leehan gasped loudly.
Like LOUDLY.
Like hand-on-chest, K-drama gasp, staring at the sky as if calling upon intergalactic ancestors.
Leehan:
"OH MY STAR CLUSTERS—THE OCEAN HAS CLAIMED ANOTHER ONE—"
He kneeled dramatically in the sand that was right next to Taesan's own resting body as if a starfish.
For no reason.
Nobody told him to.
Leehan:
"TAKE ME INSTEAD—"
Taesan:
"...Stand up or im throwing away all the alien stickers Riwoo got you."
Taesan who then broke out of his sleeping under the sun with eyes open trance, looked over at Jaehyun drowning.
Taesan just scrunched his face, turning back as he put his arms behind his head
Taesan:
"If he dies, I call his hoodie."
.
Sungho finally walked over, grabbed Jaehyun by the wrist, and pulled him upright like he was saving a toddler.
Sungho: "You're dramatic, but at least you're tall enough not to die in shallow water."
Jaehyun: smiling way too brightly "Aww, you care—"
Sungho:
"I'm not your mother."
walks away, hair flipping beautifully in slow-motion again
Woonhak watched him leave and whispered:
Woonhak: "He's TOTALLY our mother."
Sungho (from distance):
"NO I'M NOT."
Back on the sand, Jaehyun plopped down dramatically.
Jaehyun: "Guys, can we leave? I'm claustrophobic."
Woonhak: "What's that?"
Riwoo: "It means he's afraid of Santa Claus."
Sungho: "NO IT DOESN'T??" (don't ask how he was distant and far away but he's magically here now.)
Taesan: "HO HO HO."
Leehan: "Stop it, you're scaring him."
Jaehyun curled into a ball... while fucking standing.
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