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There I was again tonight,
Forcing laughter, faking smiles,
Same old tired lonely place
Sirius Black was ready to strangle his very own mother.
Her face was screwed up in that way that told him he was about to be hit; but he’d dodge the strike before it came, because today was the day he left home; today was the day he made it to Hogwarts.
“Goodbye, Mother,” he said shortly, ducking away. He heard her yells across the platform as he made for the train.
“This seat taken?” he asked, barging into the first compartment he found.
Two people were already there: a girl with red hair sobbing in the corner and a boy with messy black hair and glasses in the other corner. “No,” the boy said.
Sirius plonked down beside him. “Sirius,” he said, holding out a hand.
“James,” the messy haired boy said, shaking it. Just then, the door opened a second time, and in walked another boy. He had long black hair, just like Sirius, but his was far greasier, and his clothes far more tattered. His top even looked like a blouse. He made immediately for the redhead.
“He looks like Eileen Prince,” Sirius sniggered.
James frowned. “Eileen Prince?”
“Yeah. The Princes’ daughter. Last of her line. Her family disowned her for marrying a muggle.” She’d been a very ugly woman, really; big nose and greasy hair just like that boy.
“Reckon they’re—” James started. “Slytherin?” he asked loudly, head whipping around to face the two on the other side of the compartment. “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” He said this last bit to Sirius, grinning widely.
Sirius frowned. “My whole family has been in Slytherin.” It was ingrained into the back of his skull, that damn family tree that covered the drawing room walls, the one his mother had forced him to memorize. Toujours pur, Sirius!
The smile slid off James’ face. “Blimey,” he said. “And I thought you were alright.”
Despite himself, Sirius smiled. “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?”
James pretended to hold up a sword. Sirius suppressed his laughter. “Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart! Like my dad.”
The greasy boy made a noise. James turned to him, his smile once again ebbing away. “Got a problem with that?”
“No,” the boy said. Sirius realized he was snivelling. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy—”
As if Slytherins are brainy, Sirius thought, scoffing internally. Instead, though, he said, “Where would you go, seeing as you’re neither?”
Snivellus, Sirius decided, went red as James guffawed. The redhead stood up, blushing and turning her nose up at them. “C’mon, Severus, let’s find another compartment.”
“Ooh…” James and Sirius chorused. As the pair left, James tried to trip Severus up.
“See ya, Snivellus!” Sirius called after him, and the pair spent the next few minutes in laughter.
Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy,
Vanished when I saw your face,
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you
“Reckon they’re dating?” James asked evilly after they left.
“Oh, that’d be a riot, wouldn’t it?” Sirius asked wickedly, remembering the girls’ clothes—a cardigan and a dress. Distinctly muggle. “Mudblood and Snivellus, together forever…”
James’ smile was suddenly wiped off his face. “Don’t say that.”
“What? Snivellus?”
“No. Mud—the M word.”
“What? Mudblood?”
“Yes. Just—don’t say it.”
“Why?” Sirius didn’t see what was so bad about it. It was just a word, his parents used it all the time…though maybe that wasn’t a compliment in its favour…
“It’s—a really mean word for muggleborns. It’s a…blood supremacist thing. You know, wizards who look down on muggles and their kin because they have ‘dirty blood’?”
“Oh.” Sirius sat back, feeling depressed. He’d done something similar to his parents, which was the exact kind of thing he was trying to get away from. A few minutes and he’d already messed it up.
He looked out the window, attempting to find solace from his thoughts…and caught sight of a boy. He was probably a first year, with messy blonde-brown curls and a scarred face. A woman with similar colouring was fussing over him, kissing his cheeks and clasping his hands. As he turned to face the train, his eyes—hazel eyes, reminding him of the forest—caught Sirius, and he frowned. Time seemed to stop for one whole second as they stared at each other.
Sirius wondered if he’d ever seen someone so beautiful.
Your eyes whisper, have we met?
Across the room, your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me…
“Hey, Sirius? Siirrriiiiuuuuussssss…” James was waving a hand over Sirius’ face.
Sirius blinked out of his stupor. “Er…”
“I was asking if you’ve ever been to a quidditch game,” James said, laughing.
“Oh.” He hadn’t, actually; his parents didn’t believe in taking their children to quidditch games. They thought it was a waste of money—as if they didn’t have plenty to waste.
He turned back to the platform, hoping to catch sight of the scarred boy, but he was no-where to be found. Damn it, he thought. Where’d he gone?
Just then there was a knock on their compartment door. “Come in,” James said.
The door slid open and that same face appeared in the frame, blonde-brown curls over his scarred face. Up close, Sirius noticed details he hadn’t before—the boy was a couple inches shorter than Sirius, with tattered robes. Sirius didn’t care. He still thought he looked good. “This seat taken?” he asked, gesturing to the one beside Sirius.
“Yes,” Sirius said all too quickly, as James said ‘no’. They looked at each other. Sirius had actually been trying to say ‘yes, you can sit here’, but within context it sounded different. “I, I mean no.”
The boy nodded, shelving his trunk in the rack above Sirius before taking a seat beside him. “Remus,” he said. “Remus Lupin.”
“I’m James,” James said. “James Potter. And this is Sirius.”
Sirius gave a slight wave. Remus smiled before turning back forwards.
The playful conversation starts,
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy,
And it was enchanting to meet you,
All I can say is I was Enchanted to meet you
“So, um…where are you guys from?” Remus asked.
“Essex,” James said, grinning widely.
“London,” Sirius said. “Grimmauld Place, it’s in Islington.”
“Wales,” Remus said. “You’re from London? That’s cool, I’ve only been once, when I was three…”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Sirius said. “Just a bunch of posh knobs with their heads too far up their arses…”
Remus smiled. “What’s Essex like?” he asked James.
“Boring,” James said. “Lots of trees and towns and blah blah blah…what about Wales?”
“Pretty much the same,” Remus said, giggling.
“Well, I’d give anything to live in either of those places,” Sirius said. “But no, I’m stuck in boring old London with its massive townhouses and cloudy skies…” he gave a theatrical sigh, leaning back into his seat.
“Least you see some interesting people,” Remus pointed out.
“Interesting is one word for it,” Sirius chuckled, smiling at Remus. Remus smiled back, opening his mouth like he was about to say something but then—
The compartment door slid open a second time to reveal a round mousy boy looking quite nervous. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Is there anyone sitting here?”
“Not at all,” James said, gesturing to the seat beside him.
The boy sat down. “I’m Peter,” he said, quite fast. “Peter Pettigrew.”
“James,” James said. “James Potter.”
“Sirius Black,” Sirius said. He inspired a few odd looks from everyone but James, but he decided to brush past that, turning away determinedly.
“Remus Lupin,” Remus finished.
This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go
I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was Enchanted to meet you.
The four first years disembarked the Hogwarts Express, hearing the yells of ‘firs’ years! Firs’ years, o’er here!” from a tall figure in the crowd.
“Reckon we should follow him?” James asked.
“Sounds like a good idea,” Sirius said wryly, and the newly formed band of friends followed the big man—who introduced himself as Hagrid—to a dock on a large, black lake.
“Four a boa’, now,” Hagrid said, taking up a boat himself, which was perfect as they were a group of four.
They crossed the black lake, oohing and aahing as they caught sight of Hogwarts Castle before being greeted by the Headmistress, McGonagall, in the entrance hall. She led them through to the Great Hall, where they listened to the sorting hat sing—
“Oh, Hoggy-Hoggy-Hogwarts,
Where we go to learn,
Where hearts are struck with darts
And nightmares go to burn!
Well, here your trip starts to bat,
With a song, a skip and a dance,
For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I’ll sort you with a glance!
First there’s wise old Ravenclaw,
Rowena’s clever mind,
Just don’t get lost in seeking more,
For friendship you may find!
Oh, my brave old Gryffindor,
Most courage known to man,
But if he’d remembered what for,
He might have kept his hand!
Sweet and lovely Hufflepuff,
Her smile brightened lives,
But in every good act’s cuff
Is a threat of losing what’s mine!
Clever, cunning Slytherin,
Stood up proud and true,
But worth more than one’s kin
Is those who choose you.
And now you’ve heard my song,
And by Ravenclaw or Gryffindor or Hufflepuff or Slytherin,
(My, that’s rather long)
You might know which house you’re in!”
There was smattering of applause, and soon enough, McGonagall unfurled a scroll and stood beside the hat. “Abbott, Michael!”
A blonde boy Sirius vaguely remembered seeing at large gatherings approached the school. “RAVENCLAW!” the hat pronounced.
“Black, Sirius!”
Sirius looked up and shakily made his way to the stool. ‘Ooh, another Black…I’ve sorted hundreds of you…’
Just cut to the chase, Sirius thought miserably. Am I in Slytherin or not?
‘Feisty, eh? But no. you’d be miserable in Slytherin. You’d do better in…GRYFFINDOR!”
The last word was shouted to the entire hall, which went silent. After a moment, Sirius shook himself off and got up, proudly sitting as the first Gryffindor sorted.
The next Gryffindor was—unfortunately—the redhead from the train, ‘Evans, Lily’. She gave Sirius a distrustful look and sat opposite him.
Thankfully, the next Gryffindor sorted was Remus, who made a beeline for Sirius. “It’s alright—this way you’ll be with us!” And, feeling his cheeks heat up, Sirius cracked a real, genuine smile.
The lingering question kept me up,
Two a.m., who do you love?
I wonder ‘til I’m wide awake…
“Truth or dare?”
Remus bit his lip, looking across the circle in the boys’ dorm at Mary MacDonald, the asker. A week since they’d arrived at Hogwarts, the entirety of the Gryffindors in first year were gathered, playing truth or dare. This consisted of: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans—though the latter seemingly only because she was forced to by her dormmates, Marlene and Mary, as she didn’t hang with the other Gryffindors very much, even the Gryffindor girls, preferring a greasy haired Slytherin Sirius and James hated.
Remus quite liked all his dormmates, and honestly kind of liked Lily—she was very shy, so they hadn’t spoken much, but he was shy too and felt a strange kinship with her. He still didn’t know what to make of Mary and Marlene; they were both very loud, or at least Mary was and Marlene followed along.
Remus considered his options. “Truth.”
“Who’d you fancy?”
Remus blanched. “N-no-one,” he stammered.
“Really?” Mary teased. “No-one at all?”
“There must be someone,” James joined in.
Remus’ eyes involuntarily flicked to Sirius before darting away. “N-no!” he insisted, shrinking into himself.
“C’mon, not everyone has crushes,” Marlene said, laughing and nudging Mary. The two of them were very close, like a mirror image of James and Sirius. “Remus, just pick someone else and be done with it…”
“Peter?” Remus asked.
“Truth.”
“Sticky toffee or brown hazelnut?”
“Oh, bloody hell…”
…
Even after the girls had left at around nine, and all the other boys had gone to bed, Remus still lay awake, tossing and turning. Something just lay on his mind…
Who’d you fancy?
But he didn’t fancy any girl. He didn’t, really.
He turned over, finding no respite. This was going to be a long night…
And now I’m pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I’d open up and you would say
‘Hey, it was enchanting to meet you’
All I know is I was Enchanted to meet you…
Remus—upon deciding he really could not sleep—swung his feet out of bed and crept towards the bathroom, where he paced for who knows how long.
Sirius’ face—his pale skin, his sharp cheekbones, his long, dark hair…kept flashing behind his eyes. And that question wouldn’t stop replaying in his mind—who’d you fancy?
Sirius had been asked that question at one point too—also by Mary, would you have it. He’d said, confidently, Celestina Warbeck, and everyone had burst into giggles. Celestina was a famous folk singer in her twenties—very pretty, but really not the kind of music people their age listened to.
Remus found his gaze drifting to the door. What if Sirius opened it then and said he was lying, and that it was…someone else? But then Remus’ head hit a brick wall. Who else would he have a crush on? One of the girls, another female singer? But none of that felt right. Who, then?
Rubbing his head with his hands, Remus retreated back to bed. He was doing too much thinking for one night.
This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go,
I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
One week earlier…
“GRYFFINDOR!”
Blushing proudly and stumbling off the stool, Remus jogged his way over to the Gryffindor table, where Sirius was looking very glum. “It’s alright—this way you’ll be with us!” he tried to comfort.
Sirius gave him a proper smile back, his cheeks going pink, and Remus felt the same.
The next two Gryffindors to be sorted were two girls named ‘MacDonald, Mary’, a black girl with a big smile, and ‘McKinnon, Marlene’, a blonde girl, also smiling. Then, after ‘Knott, Julius’ was made a Slytherin, came the next two of Remus and Sirius’ little gang. First Peter, and then James.
“Good we’re all together,” James said, beaming as he sat down. His sorting had only lasted a few moments, so it was only a second ago Peter had joined them. “Don’t be too down, Sirius, see you’re with us…”
“That’s what Remus said,” Sirius said, peeking out from behind his hands. Remus thought he looked good like that, with his silver eyes just visible from between his fingers.
“Well, good on him,” James said. “Now, we’ve got to talk about all the pranks we can play…” and he went on a long monologue about the potentials of farting gas.
“Hey,” Remus said, nudging Sirius. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, honesty clear in his voice, giving a bright smile. Remus felt his face heat up, for some reason.
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go,
I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
“James, you’re stepping on my foot!”
“Sorry,” James said guiltily, moving his shoe away from Sirius’ foot.
“Remus, don’t bang into me…” Peter hissed.
“Sorry,” Remus said softly from beside Sirius.
“C’mon, gentlemen, here we are,” James said, tugging the cloak of all four of them and allowing them to look up at the night sky. “Firework display!”
The four boys oohed and aahed at the bursts of magical fireworks coming from the village. “Morgana Darkwood told me it’s the Festival of Free Passage in Hogsmeade today,” James said, sprawling out on the grass. The other three boys went to mimic him. “Apparently it’s a celebration of Merlin supposedly showing them a path through the mountains, allowing them to a fresh crop so they wouldn’t die of a disease that killed all their plants…”
“How’d you know Morgana Darkwood?” Peter asked. “Isn’t she a fifth year?”
“Her grandfather’s my dad’s second cousin,” James explained.
“Oh,” Peter said vaguely, and returned his attention to the night sky. It was the Saturday after the one following their entrance, and James had only just dragged them out into the grounds to see the display.
Sirius had never seen fireworks before; they were pretty (kind of—looked a little too much like spells of dark magic for his taste) but he sort of felt like other things looked better, like that meteor shower he and Reg had watched when they were seven and eight respectively. Tonight wasn’t all that special.
But then he caught Remus’ eye, encumbered joy all over his face, and he suddenly felt like it might be.
This is me praying that
This is the very first page
Not where the storyline ends
1st September, 1971
Sirius settled into bed, listening to the sounds of James’, Remus’ and Peter’s breathing slowing. His mind danced over the events of the day—the train, the sorting. James, Peter—Remus.
That last name stuck in his head, reverberating around in his skull like a boomerang. His face soon followed—brown hair and hazel eyes and freckles lit up by a bright smile that made Sirius happy, for some reason, igniting a spark in his chest he couldn’t quite name.
He prayed that they’d stay friends as long as possible. That, for all the marauders but especially Remus, he’d see that face for the rest of his schooldays and possibly—hopefully—somehow—beyond.
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
Remus lay awake that same evening, thinking over the events of the day. One thing stuck out—Sirius Sirius Sirius. That name echoed throughout his head; and he found himself waiting with bated breath for the morning, when he’d see him again.
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was Enchanted to meet you
The fireworks display eventually ended, and the boys took off. James, as the fastest, went ahead, Sirius and Peter beside him—but Sirius noticed Remus hanging back, not as fast as the other boys, and left James and Peter to their discussion about quidditch tactics to walk beside him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Remus said, brow creasing slightly as he looked up at Sirius.
“Good,” Sirius said. “I just thought—you always check up on me, so I thought I should check up on you.”
“Thanks.” They walked in silence for a few moments longer.
Looking up at Remus, his brown hair haloed by the stars, having glowed almost red in the light of the fireworks, Sirius found his mouth opening to say something. But…what? He couldn’t quite tell. That he wanted to be friends forever? No, that wasn’t it…so, what?
“There you are, Sirius!” James said, running back to sling an arm around Sirius’ shoulder. “We want your opinion on this…is Chandry or Torby a better seeker?” His eyebrows waggled at Chandry, and he shook his head at Torby, while Peter did the reverse.
“Chandry, totally,” he said, laughing. James guffawed at Peter, and Sirius returned to the comforting world of James Potter.
Please, don’t be in love with someone else,
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you
“Who’d you fancy?”
Mary was looking at Sirius expectantly. Remus snuck in a breath. Who did Sirius Black fancy? Was it Kyla Massokov, a popular female singer this year in Hogwarts? Or one of the older students, like Morgana Darkwood? For some reason, he waited for the answer with bated breath.
Sirius gave no hesitation, though. “Celestina Warbeck,” he said immediately.
There was a beat and then the entire circle burst into laughter. “You can’t say Celestina Warbeck!” Mary said, her giggles wearing off. “No really, who’d you fancy?”
“I said, Celestina Warbeck,” Sirius said, his eyebrows creasing in offence. “She’s very pretty!”
“Yes, but she’s the kind of thing Slughorn listens to!” Mary said, fighting off another wave of laughter. “Alright, then. Marls—truth or dare?”
“Dare, I’m not falling for your trickery…”
And Mary dared Marlene to go up to a seventh-year boy and trip him up, something she did eagerly as the entire room exploded into laughter, leaving Remus with a strange jittering feeling that felt oddly like relief, even though he didn’t fully understand where it came from.
Please, don’t be in love with someone else,
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you
“Who’d you fancy?” Mary asked Remus. Sirius felt his head involuntarily turn to his friend, a strange feeling settling in his stomach.
Remus went pale. “N-no-no-one,” he stuttered out.
“Really?” Mary pressed. “No-one at all?”
“There must be someone…” James joined in.
Sirius wondered who it was. Kyla Massokov, she was pretty…or maybe Abigail Farrow, a seventh-year redhead who was nerdy with glasses, maybe the kind of girl Remus liked. Either way, it left a strange taste in Sirius’ mouth, one he didn’t really understand.
Remus glanced at Sirius, his hazel eyes wide with fear. Sirius tried to give a reassuring smile, but Remus was facing Mary again before he could even blink. “N-no!” he insisted.
“C’mon, not everyone has crushes…” Marlene said, nudging Mary. She was a tall and wiry girl, with long colourless blonde hair down her back, and was very close with Mary. “Remus, just pick someone else and be done with it…”
And they moved on to Peter, something Sirius felt strangely glad about.
This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go,
I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home,
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
“You okay?”
Remus looked up to see Sirius smiling from his side. The fireworks display had ended a few minutes ago, and Sirius, James and Peter had rushed ahead, but it wasn’t that far out from the full moon for Remus, and so he struggled to keep up.
“Yeah,” Remus said, feeling himself frown as he met Sirius’ grey eyes. Sirius was pretty fast, so why did he feel the need to stay behind and chat with Remus?
“Good,” Sirius said, looking satisfied. “I just thought—you always check up on me, so I thought I should check up on you.”
“Thanks,” Remus said. They fell into silence, walking side by side for a few moments. After a little bit, Sirius opened his mouth like he was going to say something—
“There you are, Sirius!” Hurricane James smashed into Sirius, curling an arm around his best friend. “We want your opinion on this…is Chandry or Torby a better seeker?”
And the two boys laughed along, leaving Remus feeling strangely like something was missing.
This night is flawless, don’t you let it go,
I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone,
I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was Enchanted to meet you.
Fireworks danced behind Sirius’ eyes as he went to sleep that night. It had been a good day; one he’d never imagined he’d have. But maybe not because of the fireworks…but if so…then what?
Remus’ face was the last thing to flash across his eyelids before he fell into a slumber.
Please, don’t be in love with someone else
Remus looked across the room at where Sirius Black’s curtains were drawn. This had been the best day; he’d remember it for a long time.
He thought of Sirius’ face—drawn black hair, silver-grey eyes, his face all sharp cheekbones and pale skin, and felt a lurch in his stomach. There was something weird about him, but Remus knew he hoped Sirius stayed friends with them forever and ever.
He turned over, doing his best to cast all thoughts about Sirius from his mind; it didn’t work, the Sirius-Sirius-Sirius bouncing around in his mind.
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you
N-no!
Sirius kept replaying those words in his head. They made him feel oddly relieved. Remus had no crush; he had no girl he was going to leave them for.
He turned over, feeling strangely content despite the harrowing game of Truth or Dare that day.
Yet the journey had only just begun.