Chapter Text
For what Ardyn knew what it’s worth, the idea of stopping never truly proved to be worth it. Two millennia of torture, and yet they have yet to face nothing. His beloved, and his brother. The two he was supposed to rule beside, the two closest to him and those who held him most dearly to their hearts.
Dearly. Right. After all he was forced to endure, he was to believe that they loved him. After what Bahaumut had revealed to him in that separate dimension.
And yet, the freeing feeling of that dimension lingered with him. It reminded him of his soul and how it still lingered in that Crystal. There was something alluring about the weightlessness he had felt while in both of those side dimensions, the shapelessness of reality, how it had pulled him away from the weight of the world, despite the dreadful news that he had received. The more he thought about it, he realized that perhaps he didn’t like that weightlessness. He was caught between the tethers of the world that hated him or the tumultuous strings of fate that wracked his very being to its core.
For what it was worth, again, Ardyn could say that he missed when his life was simple. The cradling, warm memories of what he held before it all disintegrated and slipped like sand from between his fingers. But what did he hold dear? It was… hard. Hard to remember which memories were his among what all he had seen from the countless he had decided to turn into daemons. For many days and nights, he had sat and considered what was his and someone else’s. He tried recreating it in his mind, even searching for people who looked like Aera or going out of his way to disgruntled people who resembled his brother. But the people who had resembled them most closely were none other than their descendants. Aera’s Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, and Somnus’ Noctis Lucis Caelum. Somewhere, wrapped under even his softest memories turned sour, was a knowledge that he didn’t want to hurt the innocent. He knew that Noctis’s and Lunafreya’s existence wasn’t their own fault, wasn’t their own choice, but… he could always find a rationalization for it within his own mind. For it wasn’t their fault, but it was the choice of his beloved Betrayer and his brotherly Usurper. Perhaps Ardyn could not defy destiny on his own, but with those two by his side, he would have been able to stand up to whoever decided their painful destinies.
Or perhaps Somnus died happy. Surrounded by those who he loved. He was able to move on, wasn’t he? Able to wish that Ardyn finally found reprieve and rest from this torture and fate that Somnus had forced upon him out of jealousy. Out of the fact that he didn’t find Ardyn worthy of being the Founder King when they were supposed to rule together. It’s what he wanted. But the throne sat only one. But it didn’t have to, did it? Ardyn desired to clear his mind.
A laugh escaped his lips, pushing steam through their air on that cold morning on that balcony in Tenebrae. Why did those feelings of hope and mercy want to stay in his chest? Why did they have to? It was like that trident was meeting his skin once more, and he would have shivered in pain were it not for his inability to feel pain. But he remembered it. He surely remembered it. From every memory he took for his own, and from those two-thousand years of torture. From what happened before and what happened after. That pain that waged war on the Lucis Caelum bloodline.
The cold didn't ground him from his thoughts. It took feeling the breeze on his face to do it. He felt the sensations, but his body just simply didn’t react. It was like he wasn’t even human. Oh, what a silly thought. He knew he wasn’t human. He hadn’t been for a long time. Was he even human to the Astrals that “treasured” human life? He itched for a vice like a drink or a cigarette, but he knew the burn of either wouldn’t do much for him.
Lost in his thoughts. Again. He let out a soft breath and chuckled at himself, shaking his head and closing his eyes. It took a long time to learn how to make everything quiet, but thousands of years with nothing but your thoughts gave you much time to practice turning them into more pleasant sounds. Ardyn favored the sound of waves crashing against the beach and into each other. After all, it was the first thing he heard after being freed. So after letting everything fall onto him and away from him like the waves and rain, he pushed himself away from the railing he was leaning on and lifted his chin to allow his eyes to drift to the overcast, early-morning sky.
In the past, he loved it when it was sunny. Did he? Perhaps he did, perhaps he didn’t. But nearly everyone he had stolen memories from agreed that the feeling of the sun on their skin was one of the best sensations their bodies allowed them to feel. Regardless, the feeling of soaking up the sun had long since become painful to Ardyn. And he didn’t even realize it, after all those years in the dark. But the first time the light had touched his skin, he hissed and winced at the new kind of pain. It must have been the last time he really flinched. Regardless, he favored the cloudy sky now, and he loved the dimness of hotel rooms that seldom had overhead lights.
Today was not much of a day of meaning for him, as he didn’t care much for the kingdom of Tenebrae. Well, most of his discontent remained with Somnus and the kingdom of Lucis. His eyes fluttered as the wind shifted and parted sunbeams upon the ground in the distance. Ardyn sighed and stepped back finally, turning to get out of his night clothes for his more concealing regalia. Well, it was more aptly garb than regalia, but regardless, it was impertinent that he got changed and looked presentable for these meetings among Tenebraen officials, as this was just the short start of his plans. With a deep breath, he turned around and closed the double glass doors behind him and lowered the sheer curtains for privacy.
He pulled off his light clothing gently, folding them up and putting them upon the foot of his bed, and his undergarments in the laundry. He found himself pulling on some new undergarments and layering on his outfit for the day. He let out a breath and observed his shirtless form in the mirror, lingering on the scars of his softly sculpted chest and down his smoothly formed abs. A body which once was called perfect by his dearest Aera, now marred by betrayal. His lips parted for just a moment, sucking in the air at the memories of hands on his skin. His eyes screwed shut and he doubled over against the counter before the hotel room mirror. The soft blue walls felt like they were closing in on Ardyn. He grit his teeth and stood up straight, pulling away from the mirror while his feet felt like a deer on ice. He stumbled against a bedpost and caught himself, before lifting his head to catch his sight. He shook it away, walking to the closet and pulling his chosen outfit closer. He avoided the mirror as he pulled the rest of his outfit on and tucked his phone, wallet, and keys into his coat. One thing he was thankful for and always had the opportunity to marvel at was modern technology, which he had plenty of time to learn about while kept in that lab all those years ago.
He found himself to his car and got inside, starting the engine and making his way to the palace to get these meetings started.
The sounds of officials droning on seemed to simply bore him, yet there was a certain excitement that sparked in his gut in anticipation. As he listened and spoke, all he was devoted to was weaving a tangled web around those in attendance, his own interests at the forefront of his mind. It all seemed so easy– pulling at someone’s emotions here, listening earnestly there, teasing at the threads that people and relationships weaved together so thoroughly, and it was like he could see all of it from above.
It seemed to be hours of this, and every bit of it only served to make him more excited. While he had spent years winning the favor of Aldercapt, he realized now that he could see the fruits of his labor. There he was, sitting in the midst of foreign affairs. With power. Real power over the law of the land and the choices that people make. When he left that meeting, he seemed to have a real pep in his step, his mind clear once more, the constant ringing in his ears now stilled as it once was when he first assimilated back into the living world. While other officials criticized or complimented his eccentric personality, there were a few that offered him an invitation to dinner. While he would have turned down such a thing, favoring his solitude more than he did when he was truly alive, the idea of learning about these people personally and having even more grounds to convince them to do his bidding sparked a sense of excitement within him. He nodded in compliance, taking off his hat and bowing his head with an eloquent, “I’d love nothing more than to join you.”
As the others walked away and made their leave, Ardyn chewed his cheek in thought for just a moment, before he decided to walk and to catch up to the others, a curious look on his face. He found himself walking alongside a woman who had sat in attendance, but hadn’t spared a word. Carefully, but invitingly, he started. “I’ve noticed that the Queen and Prince were in attendance, why not the princess?” He asked, lowering his brows at the woman beside him. She had been one to catch his gaze during the meeting for her tired and secretive appearance, the way she seemed to dress like a hermit. She covered herself and carried herself like she had something more to hide.
A short exhale escaped her lips, like she was inconvenienced by the idea of someone speaking to her. Or perhaps she just wasn’t expecting it. Her gaze drifted from the hallway ahead to Ardyn beside her, but only for a split second. The corners of her mouth moved a bit in consideration, before she finally spoke.
“The… Princess had her own things to attend to. Which is why I stood in for her today,” The woman spoke softly, tilting her head for a moment as she thought. “You’re the Chancellor from Niflheim, right? You never introduced yourself at the table beyond your name and kingdom of origin, really.”
Ardyn’s brows lifted, and he seemed to walk with a flippant gait. He chuckled and looked her over. “Ah, did I? As I seem to recall, you didn’t say much about yourself, either.”
She matched him with a soft and genuine laugh, her eyes on the ground below them. “Who I am is of… little importance to anyone outside of Tenebrae Parliment,” she spoke with a low voice, her own brows a little low with her mouth in a smile. “I’m the acting advisor to her Royal Highness Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, y/n l/n.”
“Acting?” Ardyn echoed, craning his neck to get a better look at her face. “Are you insinuating there’s an un-acting advisor to her Royal Highness?”
Y/n wetted her lips as she nodded with a tiny shrug of only her shoulders. “More like… Inactive? The Queen has reallocated his skills to the command of law enforcement after a recent death of someone in high authority,” she would explain in a soft tone, running her fingers along the soft fabric of her many, many layers of skirt. She pursed her lips for a moment and took a deep breath, “You’re… attending that dinner with the others?”
“Hmn. I believe I am.” Ardyn would nod and feel an easy smirk spread across his handsome face. This woman struck him as interesting, and was so fortunately close to the princess. He walked a little closer to her, just to see what would happen.
At his proximity, she walked with a little more sureness so he wouldn’t try anything else. She took a deep breath and looked into those amber eyes of his, noticing the odd color. She managed to keep a smile on and continue speaking. “Well. I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone of my status to attend, really.”
Ardyn would nod and sigh a bit dramatically. “Of course. But… Would it not be appropriate for you to attend as a substitute for the princess, then?”
At the question, she hesitated and let out a soft sound. She shook her head a bit. “I feel it’s inappropriate, still. How does it look when someone says, ‘oh, sorry I couldn’t attend your gathering. Here’s my subordinate instead’?”
“I understand,” the Chancellor nodded, before turning up his sort of enigmatic charm a little more, “But… I would like to know more about you. What say you attend the dinner as my friend, instead? I feel it’s more than appropriate to form strong bonds with those taking care of the kingdom I intend to form strong bonds with.” He smiled gently and gave a flourish with his hands as they walked.
She wasn’t sure why, but a soft flush came to her face. It wasn’t as if she were one to be charmed. Her lips parted for just a moment, before she let out a soft chuckle and covered her mouth. “Oh dear, I’m afraid I don’t have anything nice to wear to an event like that,” she replied, but it only made Ardyn narrow his eyes.
“Is that true? I suppose we have time to shop for appropriate wear in the meantime,” he offered, taking a shot in the dark that y/n was making up excuses in order to not refuse his offer to his face. “I’ll be one to admit this is a bit out of my own bailiwick… It’s not as if I’m invited to large dinners. The Emperor of Niflheim hardly has anything to do to me anymore,” Ardyn continued with a frown.
“Really? I’m sure you’re wonderful company to him, Chancellor,” Y/n adulated with a small furrow of her brow, holding her hands together in front of her. She glanced at the ground, taking a deep breath before deciding to shoot a joke back at Ardyn. “If you’re offering to buy my dress, I suppose I can’t refuse,” The advisor quipped as she reached for the fabric of her skirt once again. “Depending on where everyone agreed to, the dress may be cheaper than buying our dinner.”
Ardyn laughed in response, before lifting his hands in a surrendering shrug. “I do suppose you’re correct. I’ll strike you a deal, though. It has to be a dress we both agree on.”
Y/n sort of paused, the hesitation getting to her. Her brows lowered and she sighed, “Really now? It leaves you ample room to be a pervert. Smooth, Chancellor.”
“Ah,” Ardyn lifted a hand. “Not my intention at all, though I understand why your mind might have wandered that way. Believe me, that sort of thing hasn’t interested me in a very, very long time. I’m merely offering a gift, like a necklace or a ring.” He almost continued, rambling on about how important physical assets like rare gems were back in his day. Even so, he stopped himself and turned his gaze forward. “Would that sort of thing not interest you?”
She glanced away for a moment or two, before her eyes slid back to Ardyn at her side. “I… suppose that offer isn’t entirely weightless. If you really are offering… I’ll do it if I can also choose your suit.”
This made the man scoff, and he turned his head away. “Is that right? And how am I to know you aren’t going to do the very thing you accused me of?” Teasing, he lifted his chin with a playful glance. The darkness in his eyes was gone for just a moment.
For that moment, the weight on Ardyn’s chest was lifted, and he couldn’t help but feel the corners of his eyes crinkle with genuine enjoyment. He couldn’t quite place his finger on the feeling he was experiencing now. It had been so long, was this the way that Aera made him feel? Was this the way he felt as he treated a patient? It caused a deep longing to form a gaping hole where his chest had once been lighter. He had to ask himself– when did this joy go away? Was it really his? Like a rainstorm, it all suddenly began to wash over him. The feeling of seeing a newborn for the first time, of winning a game with his family, of making someone laugh. The faces and voices seemed to plague his mind, and he tried to push it all away. He forced it back into the waves that he let fall over him and pull away, back into his ocean of memories that he preferred to stay away from. When he finally got back to reality, his eyes were on y/n without even realizing it. He swallowed a bit, continuing. “I didn’t take you for that type of woman…”
Y/n couldn’t help but laugh a bit brighter at that, not even thinking about how boisterous she was acting in a place like the palace hallways. “Oh, I’m not! I’m not! I’m only wanting to make it fair, alright? I’ll go to the silly dinner party and get even fancier clothes with you, alright?”
Ardyn returned her words with a smile, tipping his hat back a bit. “Perfect. Have you something to attend to before or shall I drive you to the shops immediately?”
“I’d be happy to–” Y/n paused, before looking away and sucking in a quick bout of air. “Ah. I should… fill in the princess on everything and check in with her before the whole… escapade. Is… there a way to reach you when I’m ready?”
The Chancellor considered the question, before reaching in the breast pocket in the inside of his aberrantly fashioned coat. He let out a soft hum and flipped open his cellular device, before handing it to y/n. Y/n smiled a bit, before swiping on her screen and passing forward her own phone. Ardyn chimed in softly as he typed in his contact, “I suspect you’ll message me when you're ready. In that case, I think I’ll start a brief tour of the city while you attend to her Highness.”
Y/n’s gaze softened at that, and Ardyn could tell she had that warm feeling in her chest at everything. For some reason, seeing her smile caused a strange burning sensation in his chest. It wasn’t that comforting kind of warmth, but it wasn’t painful. It was just uncomfortable, the same sensation of stepping into the sun after his corruption. His lips parted for only a moment, before they met back together and he chuckled. “Do put in a good word with Princess Lunafreya for me. I’ve great appreciation for Tenebrae and its courtiers.”
“I will, of course,” Y/n rolled her eyes while a smirk met her own lips. “For what it’s worth… I’m excited. I’ve never been to this sort of thing without her Highness.”
“I think you’ll find it most enjoyable, Lady y/n. I’ll have to see you later. Do reach out to me when you’re ready,” Ardyn walked ahead, taking his time to twirl around to face y/n and tip his hat slowly and gracefully. He waved a second goodbye and hurried along to find his way back to his car.
Big plans were finally falling into place. Not only that, but he felt a strong sense of satisfaction at the idea of being able to form a bond with someone oh so close to the Princess. For he couldn’t turn back time and exact his revenge for his beloved’s betrayal, stabbing her own flesh and blood might scratch the same itch. He still had much to learn about this modern time, and finding out more about Prince Noctis and Princess Lunafreya seemed to be at the top of his list. For now, he perused the streets and roads of Tenebrae with a soft smile and satisfaction. Doing so felt like a trip down memory lane. He could remember many nights he spent on rendezvous and trysts with Aera, laughing as they ran down the streets of the royal capital, long before they were paved with asphalt instead of brick. He found himself stopping in front of a building, looking inside to see the lights were off and no one was there. Pulling his vehicle into park, he lowered his brow and pulled the key from the ignition.
Stood before him was a restaurant he could remember visiting with Aera, Somnus, and Gilgamesh. For just a moment, he could feel that same weight of his soul sitting in his body. He started forward, seeing it all come to life in front of him.
The smell of the cuisine, the chatter of the people around them. They had traveled to Tenebrae to firstly meet Aera before the whole proposal. Aera’s eyes that had captured his attention across the table and kept him in place. For he seemed to daze off in that moment, Somnus placed a hand on the table in front of his brother,
“Have you been listening to me? I’ve been speaking to you and all you’ve done is stare at Aera. I’ve not seen you like this before,” Somnus chortled as he chided Ardyn.
Ardyn’s eyes drifted down to the table and up his brother’s arm. He smiled and closed his eyes. “I simply can’t help myself. Were you arranged to wed a woman with even half the beauty as her, you’d barely be able to keep your eyes off of her yourself.”
Somnus scoffed and adjusted his posture in his seat. He lifted his chin and shook his head. “No. There are far more important things to me than who I’m to marry. I want to focus on the future of Lucis.”
Ardyn frowned and shot a look at Aera. Her blushing cheeks flustered Ardyn in return, and he began to snicker, struggling to hold back his laughter and smile.
Aera piped up, looking at Somnus with her hands covering her blushing cheeks, “inviting us all out to dinner is surely putting Lucis first.” With the curl of the corner of her lips, Ardyn felt his heart swell. The slight lift of her eyes and how they sparkled under the light, The way her cheeks squished with a smile. He longed to reach over and pinch her cheeks himself– to cradle her face and to place kisses along her nose. He only realized his daze once more when Somnus called for his attention. He lifted his head and glanced over to his brother beside him again, but Somnus’ grumpy face only made him laugh harder. Aera began her own bout of laughter, and Gilgamesh turned his head away in a struggle to contain his own entertainment.
Somnus felt the urge to curse and scold the few, but as he tried to keep a serious face, he could only think about how ridiculous this looked, and he began laughing with them.
The memory, feeble as a candle’s flame, was soon extinguished by the wind passing by Ardyn once again. That clear night faded into the dreary, cloudy day that he opened his eyes to. Gathering his mind, he realized he shouldn’t stay here for very long. While his throat choked on the emotion of seeing his family again, he simply closed the door on all of it as he shut the driver’s side of his car. He started his engine once more, deciding to look amongst the shops to see what stood old and what stood new. He also knew he had to scope out a place for himself and y/n to find the right clothes. He made his way out of old town Tenebrae and to the much wealthier and opulent shopping districts downtown.
–
He made it back to his hotel room, wondering when y/n would finally reach out to him. The thought to reach out first had crossed his mind a bit, but he had dismissed it and feared coming off the wrong way. He let out a sigh and found his seat on the food of his bed, but soon realized the small issue. He reached in his breast pocket for his phone and realized what he had wasn’t the easily usable flip phone that he decided on. He tilted his head for a moment, pulling it out to reveal that it was the acting advisor’s cell. It had been such an off day, he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he managed to make a mistake as simple as this. And from the fact that y/n hadn’t reached out to him yet, he was willing to wager that she hadn’t realized this mistake, either. Hesitantly, he swiped up on the screen like he had seen her do to unlock her phone. He tapped the contact list, and searched for his own name with a bit of hesitance.
God, hesitating now, are we? Ardyn chastised himself a bit as he tapped the contact and hit the call button.
Ring… Ring… Ring…
Strangely, Ardyn felt that same burn against his chest.