Chapter Text
Metal clashed against metal with such force that sparks flew, crashing like thunder with every strike. The air around them felt electric, and despite the stern look of concentration on his opponent, Xie Lian felt as if he were walking on air. The tides of battle kept shifting. Every time he thought he had the upper hand, Xie Lian was soon forced back into a defensive position. It was impossible to say who would emerge victorious.
As the blade came down on him, Xie Lian quickly raised his own, their swords colliding with ferocious force. He used all his strength to keep the steel from coming any closer, taking in his surroundings to figure out a new strategy. There had to be something he could do to gain the upper hand. Finally, his smile grew as a plan began to form.
Pushing the blade away, Xie Lian attempted a kick that caused his foe to stumble backwards in their haste to evade the attack. With his opponent distracted, Xie Lian turned tail and ran in the opposite direction.
"Why are you running!?" He could hear the exasperation in Mu Qing's voice, accompanied by hurried steps as he rushed after him.
With little time at his disposal, Xie Lian moved as swiftly as his legs could carry him, leaping and just barely managing to grip the end of a rope hanging from a nearby stable. Using his momentum, he swung around, watching the realisation in Mu Qing's eyes, but it was all too late. As gravity took him back, Xie Lian made sure his feet collided with Mu Qing's chest, knocking him to the ground with the full force of his body.
Dropping down beside him, Xie Lian rested the tip of his sword against Mu Qing's clavicle, "Yield."
"That's cheating," Mu Qing glared, letting go of his blade to signal his surrender, "I hate when you do that."
"Dueling is about more than just swordplay," Xie Lian said, offering his hand and pulling Mu Qing to his feet. "It's also about strategy and quick thinking."
"Not quite the same when we're just sparring," Mu Qing grumbled, dusting himself off.
The sword was one of the few joys Xie Lian truly had. The life of a prince came with so many perks, that much was impossible to deny, and Xie Lian did appreciate how lucky he was. But the responsibilities that hung over his head were pressing closer and closer, threatening to crush him under the weight of it all. Most of his time was spent in any number of lessons. Etiquette. Public speaking. Negotiation. Every skill it was believed he would need to become a great leader once his father handed the throne down to him. There was just one problem.
He didn't want it.
Xie Lian loathed those lessons. There was never any praise for anything he did correctly, only constant reminders of the things he needed to do better. Or perhaps there was nothing to praise in the first place. Every time he was stuck in stuffy rooms, trying to pitch in on strategy meetings or plans for the future of the kingdom, his ideas were so completely different from the clear path already chosen that he wasn't sure why he was expected to have opinions in the first place. Most importantly, Xie Lian knew he wasn't ready to lead anyone, much less an entire kingdom.
Honing his sword skills was one of the few things he had been allowed, something that his father deemed princely enough to waste otherwise important lesson time with. So, Xie Lian threw himself into it, finding joy in a skill that felt far more exciting than a life confined to a castle. And perhaps the inherently adventurous nature of the blade had filled him with a desire to travel, to see what the world had to offer, and find opponents with even more skill to test his abilities on. In a way, the one outlet he had was only pulling him further away from the duties he would one day be forced to bear.
As the pair were about to leave, Xie Lian caught sight of his father watching from the doorway, an unreadable expression on his face. Xie Lian gently nudged Mu Qing and asked, "How long's he been there?"
"I don't know, I was too busy fighting you," Mu Qing reminded him. He took Xie Lian's sword and advised, "Whatever he wants to say, try listening to him this time."
With that, he was ushered forward, and Xie Lian knew that whatever it was his father wanted, there was no avoiding the impending discussion. Sighing, Xie Lian closed the distance between them with a million thoughts clouding his mind. What would it be this time? What else did he need to improve upon? It felt like there was always something. But at least his skills with a sword couldn't be denied.
His father didn't wait. Seeing Xie Lian heading his way, he began to walk towards the gardens, and Xie Lian quickly fell into step at his side. The silence between them felt awkward. Tense. It was as though they were both waiting for something awful, both preparing for the inevitable argument that always resulted from their talks.
Xie Lian hesitantly broke the ice, saying, "My skills have improved, but Mu Qing continues to provide a worthy challenge."
"Mn," His father hummed noncommittally, "Perhaps. But there is more to being a king than fighting skills."
Xie Lian rolled his eyes, a bad habit he'd picked up from Mu Qing, but one that was easier to hide from his father than outright insolence. And so, the lecture began. The same one Xie Lian had heard a hundred times prior. It was time to grow up. It was time to stop running from fate and accept that the throne would soon be his, that everything he did was to give Xie Lian the best chance as king. And Xie Lian had never denied that. He knew that everything his father put him through was because it was what he thought was best. What Xie Lian couldn't stand was that no one had ever asked him what he wanted. There had to be other options, but no one would even humour them.
"Your twenty-first birthday is coming up," His father said, that stilted nature to his words that told Xie Lian he was about to get very upset.
"It is," He replied simply.
"I have arranged for you to be introduced to your future husband at your birthday dinner."
Xie Lian went still. His entire body froze, unable to take another step as a cold dread filled him from head to toe. It wasn't unheard of to have such an arrangement. His parents had begun in the same way; a deal that had worked out rather well, given how clearly in love they were. When it didn't happen at eighteen, Xie Lian had thought perhaps he'd been granted the opportunity to fall in love in his own time. Despite how happy his parents were, a marriage based on political gain was never something Xie Lian had any intention of entering into.
"Excuse me?" Xie Lian finally managed to say.
His father's response was simple and to the point, "We need to establish a connection before we announce the engagement."
"There's no engagement to announce," Xie Lian tried to keep his voice level despite the sheer outrage building inside him, "I will not marry a man I've never met."
"Which is precisely why you will meet him at the dinner," His father pinched the bridge of his nose, growing weary of Xie Lian's defiance, "Don't be difficult. He's looking forward to it."
"Then he will be disappointed when I fail to attend," Xie Lian clenched his fists at his sides, trying to remain composed, "I'm not assuming the throne the moment I turn twenty-one. You've said yourself that I'm not ready."
"You're right, you aren't. Because you need to start taking this more seriously. Perhaps this will give you the push you need," His father said, walking away before Xie Lian could argue further.
Though Xie Lian opened his mouth to speak, with so many counters filling his mind, he knew that all of them would fall on deaf ears. His father had never listened before; why would he start now? With an irritated huff, he instead headed straight for the one person who might hear him.
Xie Lian would be the first to admit running to his mother with his grievances was childish, but it was the only option left as far as he could see. It didn't take long to find her. There were certain places around the castle that he knew his mother preferred to spend her time. One of them was the very gardens they had been walking towards. Whilst his father had continued on, Xie Lian stepped onto the stony path surrounded by so many beautiful flowers, each more vibrant than the next. Sat in a rattan chair was his mother, a tea set spread out on the table in front of her, and a book in her hands.
Xie Lian dropped into the seat across from her, all lessons of posture forgotten as he slumped in the chair, and his mother didn't even look up from her book when she said, "I see the chat with your father went well."
"You can't possibly believe this is a good idea," Xie Lian tried to hide the betrayal he felt upon realising his mother had to have known this was coming for some time.
With a sigh, she placed her book on the table, picking up the teapot and pouring out a cup for Xie Lian, "I don't believe it's the worst idea. But I knew that you wouldn't be pleased. And you know I don't like forcing you into situations you don't like. Particularly ones as serious as this."
"Then why?" Xie Lian stared at the tea in his cup, wishing it somehow held the solutions to all his troubles, "You're just selling me off to the highest bidder."
"I did advocate for you," His mother pressed, "I told your father that we should allow you to make your own decisions about something as important as marriage. But you know how stubborn he is. You had to get it from somewhere. And he did make some good points."
"What points?"
He couldn't possibly imagine there being a good reason. The only thoughts running through Xie Lian's mind were that he was too difficult, that his parents had finally given up on him, and decided to turn him into someone else's problem. It would make sense. He avoided the lessons whenever he could. He didn't share his father's ideas for the kingdom. He wasn't the kind of king people would've wanted him to be. And as true as it was that he didn't have to take the throne when he turned twenty-one, very few princes didn't.
"Well, as you know, your father and I began as an arranged marriage. They aren't all bad. Perhaps you'll end up falling for this man. It's important to give it a chance," She smiled the same way she always did when she was trying to placate Xie Lian and instruct him at the same time.
"I don't want to get married," Xie Lian stressed, "I don't care who he is, it's not going to happen."
"Your father knew you would say that. He thought that this would be good for you. He thought it might help push you to take your lessons more seriously." Taking a sip of her tea, she smiled sympathetically, "He loves you and he wants the best for you. Seeing you reject your birthright worries him."
"This isn't the life that I want," Xie Lian pushed, tracing his finger along the edge of his teacup, "Surely there are other options. Father could remain king until someone more appropriate surfaces."
"That's true," His mother nodded, "But you must admit you haven't exactly been trying very hard. Your father worries that you aren't even giving it a fair chance. I can't promise you anything, darling, but perhaps if you could show him that you really are giving it your best, he might be more willing to listen to your complaints."
Xie Lian paused, letting her words wash over him and taking the time to really process them. This wasn't necessarily set in stone. No matter what happened, Xie Lian refused to marry anyone, but maybe he could put an end to this arranged marriage amicably. If putting an end to it meant really attempting to play the role of doting son, eager to please his father and follow whatever instructions were given to earn the crown… he'd do it.
The next few weeks went by in a blur. Xie Lian hadn't touched his sword since that day, far too busy with everything from table manners to speech delivery. He'd even had dancing lessons specifically for his birthday dinner. Almost every evening was spent in the castle library, reading up on family history, most of which he already knew, but his father seemed skeptical of his knowledge.
He'd made appearances with his father, smiling and waving to the common people, and that was perhaps the only thing he'd really enjoyed. But even that came with its own issues. He didn't care much for the formalities. Everyone bowed when he approached, always afraid to touch or even speak out of turn. And as much as he was grateful for the personal space, the clear distinction between himself and everyone else was uncomfortable. Xie Lian wasn't naive. He knew he had much privilege and was grateful for what he had, but he hated that it meant he was somehow more important than people who worked so much harder.
He'd never truly understand how lucky he was unless he lost all he had, but that didn't stop him from wishing he could just be an anonymous face in the crowd.
When the evening of his birthday dinner finally arrived, Xie Lian couldn't say for sure if he had done enough to grant himself a pardon from his father, but it couldn't be denied that he'd tried. He'd done everything within his means. The weeks had confirmed that he didn't want to be a leader. There were very few aspects of the life his father had planned for him that he actually liked. He'd planned to tell him as much after the dinner.
Standing in front of the mirror in his chambers, Xie Lian kept scrutinising every detail of his outfit. The white suit was admittedly one of his favourites, the lining along with the collar and cuffs a lovely teal shade that reminded him of the ocean. The buttons and detailing on the suit were all gold, and his boots matched the lining. With the jacket thrown over the top, even more gold detailing was woven into the fabric, running all the way down to his knees. There were even golden epaulettes to really finish off the look, making him appear far more regal than he felt, along with some rather unnecessary tassels. Still, it made the image of royalty completely clear. He hadn't done much with his hair, styling it in a simple half-up, half-down look that had come to be known as a staple for him.
It wasn't much, but it would do.
Just as he was pulling on the white gloves, there was a knock on the door and Feng Xin's familiar voice called, "They're ready for you, your highness."
Xie Lian sighed and headed for the door. It was time to put on a brave face and hope for the best. It was supposed to be his birthday. It couldn't be all that bad, could it?
Upon his arrival in the main hall, his presence was announced to all attending. Xie Lian put on the practiced smile and waved in the precise way he'd been trained to do before stepping into the room and joining the festivities. To his parents' credit, they'd done an excellent job of organising something that would please the visiting royals from neighbouring nations whilst still catering to Xie Lian's preferences. For a moment, it felt easy to pretend that it was just another gathering.
Though Xie Lian would've really preferred to stick with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, he could feel all eyes on him and knew that he had to mingle. The night was to be the final test before he could tell his father this wasn't what he wanted, one more display that he really was trying his best and giving this the chance it deserved. So, he moved through the crowd like a duck in water, easily making polite conversation with everyone he saw. He thanked them for their attendance, made vague small talk about plans for the future, the carefully instructed, vaguely diplomatic phrasing rolling off his tongue. He'd asked if guests had tried the hors d'oeuvres, boasting of the skill of their chefs, and laughed at all the less-than-stellar jokes he had no choice but to humour. It was exhausting, but he had to admit the weeks of preparation really had done wonders.
Just as he'd managed to take a moment for himself, indulging in the genuinely decadent finger foods, he heard the familiar sound of his father clearing his throat behind him. Turning to face him, Xie Lian was met with the sight of another man, no more than a few years younger than his father, at his side. Xie Lian was sure he'd never met him before, but that wasn't strange. There were many faces at the dinner that he didn't recognise.
"Father! Thank you again for organising such a lovely evening," Xie Lian smiled, playing the role as best he could.
"Nothing is too great for my son," He waved a hand dismissively before gesturing to the man beside him, "I'd like you to meet Jun Wu, king of Wuyong."
It all clicked perfectly into place in an instant. Wuyong was a strong kingdom, one that did not take its alliances lightly. Forming a partnership with Wuyong would be one of the most lucrative investments Xianle could possibly make. Xie Lian's father must have worked hard to arrange an engagement with Jun Wu. What Xie Lian couldn't quite figure out was why Jun Wu had agreed to it. Xie Lian was easily half his age, and Jun Wu had already taken the throne in his kingdom. It wasn't as though he required a marriage to become king. Xianle was a proud kingdom, but was admittedly far less affluent than Wuyong in most areas. So what was he actually getting out of it?
Glancing at his father, Xie Lian could see the warning in his gaze, silently telling him to be nice and not mess this up. Xie Lian wanted to. He wanted to walk out of that hall then and there, but quickly realised it would make a better impact if he played the part, gave Jun Wu a chance, and then told his father he didn't want this.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty," Xie Lian smiled as politely as he could.
"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine, your highness," Jun Wu bowed his head, and Xie Lian couldn't say for sure if it was his own bias, but the smile he received bordered on lecherous. "May I get you a glass of wine?"
Xie Lian didn't drink. He never really had before. As it was his birthday, it would make sense to have a glass, but he didn't particularly see the appeal. Still, his father would be absolutely livid if he refused, so reluctantly, Xie Lian gestured for Jun Wu to escort him to the wine table.
"I've heard a lot about you," Jun Wu said, his hand resting at the small of Xie Lian's back as he guided them across the room.
"I've heard nothing of you," Xie Lian replied.
The laugh he received in response sounded genuine enough, "I suppose that's to be expected. I do appreciate that this is somewhat of an… awkward… situation."
"Do you?" Xie Lian raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. Most people, he believed, would feel just as uncomfortable as he was. But Jun Wu was powerful enough that he had no pressure to accept this arrangement. "Then why did you agree to it?"
"I was intrigued when your father suggested it. And I liked everything he had to tell me about you. The good and the bad," Jun Wu picked up a wine flute and offered it to him.
"It hardly seems fair if you know all these things about me, but I've been kept in the dark," Xie Lian pointed out as he took the glass.
"We'll just have to get to know each other a little better, then," Jun Wu purred, leaning in as he did.
Beyond the obvious age gap, Xie Lian couldn't quite place what he was feeling, but it was… wrong. There was a discomfort he felt around Jun Wu that couldn't be explained with words. Jun Wu had barely touched Xie Lian, but his body had instinctively attempted to pull away. They'd barely spoken, but the look in Jun Wu's eyes made Xie Lian feel more like an object than a person. He could already tell this wouldn't be a marriage like his parents. They went together like oil and water.
But he had to play along for the rest of the evening.
"To us," Jun Wu held out his own wine glass.
"Mn," With a tight-lipped smile, Xie Lian tapped their glasses together and downed every last drop.
The alcohol burned Xie Lian's throat as it went down, but it didn't hold a candle to the unpleasant feeling he got from Jun Wu's close proximity. Placing the empty glass on the table, Xie Lian tried his best to appear interested in everything he had to say, but none of it really meant anything to him. It was as though he was trying his best to impress Xie Lian, but choosing all the wrong directions to take. Xie Lian already knew that Wuyong was a powerful kingdom and had no desire to hear about it. He had ascertained that Jun Wu was an affluent man, but Xie Lian wasn't exactly hard up himself, and even if he was, wealth wasn't nearly enough to earn his heart.
"Your father tells me you're an avid swordsman," Jun Wu said.
Suddenly, Xie Lian's interest was piqued, "I admit I haven't practised in a few weeks, but it is one of my favourite hobbies."
"When we marry, I'll have the finest blades prepared for you," Jun Wu said, sipping his wine, "If you're good, I'll even have my greatest swordsmen teach you all they know."
Xie Lian felt numb. It was like he was outside his own body listening to the conversation. His only hope had been that perhaps the man the marriage was arranged to be with would be pleasant, that maybe in some strange way, he might find himself actually looking forward to it. Instead, he was listening to Jun Wu calculate the best ways to manipulate him. His supposed future husband already had plans to ensure Xie Lian did precisely as he was told.
"I don't need tips," Xie Lian replied, trying to keep the disdain from his voice, "But I'm sure I could assist your swordsmen if you'd like."
Jun Wu laughed, leaning in far too close, and Xie Lian once again wished it would be proper to flinch away, "I do so enjoy your tenacity, Xianle. I just know we're going to have so much fun together."
"One can only hope," Xie Lian managed to say with a halfhearted smile.
Placing his glass beside Xie Lian's, Jun Wu held out a hand, "Might I request a dance with my future husband?"
Xie Lian was sure that the smile he received was supposed to be charming. If they had met under different circumstances, without the impending marriage hanging over them, Xie Lian may have fallen for it, too. But the sharp look in Jun Wu's eyes and the gravity of his words hung in the air like a noose, the offered hand an invitation to the gallows. The smile wasn't charming. It wasn't handsome. It didn't give him butterflies. There were none of the feelings Xie Lian expected to experience upon meeting the one.
There was only trepidation as Xie Lian was forced to take his hand and pretend he didn't see the minacity in his smirk.
Allowing himself to be guided to the middle of the room, Xie Lian kept looking around them, trying to find his father, trying to ensure that all his suffering wouldn't be for nothing. Surrounded by so many people, some dancing, some mingling, Xie Lian tensed as a hand rested against his waist, tightening his grip on the other for no other reason than the need to hold in the desire to run. He would be a good son. A good prince. He'd play his role perfectly until the moment he was allowed to reject these advances.
As Xie Lian's hand rested on his shoulder and he was led through a simple waltz, Jun Wu said gently, "You're behaving very well for your father."
"What?" Xie Lian's heart leapt into his throat. Had he really been so obvious?
"I was warned that you would be doing everything in your power to make me reconsider this," Jun Wu explained, amusement clear in his tone.
"Oh," Xie Lian should've expected as much. His father would need to lay it all out there for the best possible chance at seeing this through. His fingers tensed on Jun Wu's shoulder, attempting to save face, "This evening is very important to my father."
"It's a shame, I was looking forward to the challenge," Jun Wu chuckled, "Tell me, Xianle, will you behave this well for me?"
"Is that what you desire from your partner? Obedience?" Xie Lian asked, allowing the mask to slip just slightly. After all, Jun Wu had already been warned of his true feelings.
"Is that so wrong?" Jun Wu asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, "Not all the time, of course. Your strong will is one of the things I found so charming about you when your father approached me. But you will learn to do as you're told. You'll learn to behave. As a good husband should. And I shall reward you dearly for it."
"Are you sure it's not a pet you're looking for, rather than a husband?" Xie Lian said without thinking.
"You'd be surprised how much the line between the two can blur," Jun Wu raised an eyebrow as if challenging Xie Lian when he asked, "What is it you would want in your partner, if not loyalty?"
"A different kind of loyalty, perhaps," Xie Lian said, trying to ignore the condescending look Jun Wu was giving him as he added, "Love would be a nice place to start."
"Love, like a flower, blossoms with time. In time, I'm sure you will learn to love me, just as you will learn to be the perfect husband," Jun Wu guided him through a delicate spin as if proving the control he already held over Xie Lian.
It was impossible to know what to say. Xie Lian wanted to keep arguing the point. He wanted to make it entirely clear that he would not be the doting husband Jun Wu expected. Not for him. Not for anyone. But this was still a test. He needed to prove he was trying, giving Jun Wu a chance he didn't deserve. If Xie Lian did anything to cause a scene that evening, it would ruin all the hard work he'd put in over the previous weeks.
What Jun Wu had said wasn't entirely incorrect, but it wasn't the kind of love Xie Lian wanted. Love at the cost of autonomy wasn't love at all. If Xie Lian were to give his heart to anyone, it would be someone willing to set him free, someone who would trust him to return of his own volition.
"If you would permit me to be so bold," Jun Wu began, moving Xie Lian effortlessly around the dancefloor, "I do believe it would grant you great standing with your father… and myself… if you would allow me just one kiss?"
Xie Lian's steps faltered. He looked over his shoulder at the people around him, wondering if anyone had heard the brazen request. Would it be better or worse if they had? There was no way out. No one to rescue him from the situation. His father would never. Mu Qing and Feng Xin would be berated if they tried. None of the other royals in attendance would dare interrupt the king of Wuyong, either. He was alone. Whipping his head back around, he was affronted by a far too innocent smile as Jun Wu awaited his response.
"Shouldn't that wait until the wedding?" Xie Lian finally managed to say, hoping that the implication of his compliance to wed would be enough to assuage him without the intimacy.
"Then or now, what difference does it make?" Jun Wu pushed.
"You wouldn't have me painted as some philanderer on my own birthday, would you?" Xie Lian raised an eyebrow as if daring him to deny his sound logic. It would be unbecoming of a prince to display affection so openly, particularly when there had been no prior signs of a relationship between the pair of them.
Jun Wu sighed dramatically, "I suppose you're right. We'll just have to let the anticipation build until our next meeting, then, hm?"
Xie Lian smiled, trying to calculate how much time he had before that next meeting. How long did he have left to put an end to this farce? His father would be rushing it, wanting the marriage to move as swiftly as possible. A few months before an official proposal, perhaps. Which would mean several public appearances before then. Whatever it took to make it look less forced. Their next meeting would likely be mere days away. Jun Wu may have even planned to stay in the kingdom for a time to accommodate.
This had to be prevented as soon as possible.
The rest of the evening went by without any issues. Xie Lian continued to narrowly dodge Jun Wu's advances whilst playing the role of reluctantly accepting betrothed. He managed to dip away for moments of reprieve, reminding Jun Wu that this was his party and that it would be disrespectful to his guests to give all of his attention to just one person. He barely made it through, his skin crawling at every touch, but it couldn't be said that he hadn't given Jun Wu a chance. He'd even endured a kiss to his gloved hand by means of farewell, wrenching the fabric from his body like an infested rag the very second he was able.
After the guests had all left and the maids had begun cleaning the main hall, Xie Lian went straight to his father. He wasn't sure exactly what to say. Xie Lian had never been particularly good at choosing the right words to use when it came to his father. He hoped that honesty would be enough.
Catching him in one of the long hallways, Xie Lian called out, "Father! I wanted to speak with you. About Lord Jun Wu."
The smile on his father's face was one of the most genuine Xie Lian had ever seen. "You both seemed to hit it off. I knew that you would like him if you just gave it a chance."
"I despise him," Xie Lian said. The look of shock on his father's face told Xie Lian he needed to keep talking, "He is vile and pretentious. He says one thing, but means another, and the happiness he promises me is not happiness at all, it's a prison."
"You looked perfectly happy," His father said, his expression becoming unreadable.
"For you," Xie Lian pursed his lips, "Everything I've done is for you. The last three weeks. Tonight. Allowing myself to be paraded around my own party by that… repugnant man. I did all of it for you. To show you that I'm trying. I gave him a chance. And I'm begging you not to make me live that life."
"So, you lied. You pretended. How can you call it trying when you already made up your mind before you'd even begun?" His father's frustration grew the more he said.
"I truly did try. I kept an open mind. I wanted to believe perhaps he might not be so bad, maybe I'd get lucky. Like you and mother," Xie Lian insisted, "I will not marry a man who intends to keep me like a dog."
"I chose him for you because I knew he would be able to teach you everything you refuse to learn from me. It may seem bad now, but you will thank me later," He assured, taking on the tone he reserved for the moments he truly didn't want Xie Lian to fight him or his logic.
Xie Lian had passed the point of sense. He'd swiftly reached desperation as he realised his father wasn't going to budge, that all his hard work had been for nothing. Everyone around him had already determined his fate. But he couldn't let it happen.
"You chose him because it would be a lucrative deal for you," Xie Lian clenched his fists at his sides, the anger boiling to the surface when he finally declared, "I'm not marrying anyone. You can dress me up and parade me down the aisle, but when they ask me to take his hand, my answer will be no."
"You will marry him," His father's voice rose to a commanding level, one usually reserved for insubordination, "One day you will be king, and a king makes sacrifices for his people."
"And what about me!? When will the king make sacrifices for his son!?" Tears welled in Xie Lian's eyes, hot with rage and heartbreak as he finally let himself accept the truth, "You'll always choose them over me. Even when it's something they aren't asking for."
His father sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and replying calmly, "Someday, you will understand. Everything I do, I do for the future of this kingdom. That includes you."
"So that's it?" Xie Lian bit his lip to stop it from quivering, "I have no choice?"
"The choice is in how gracefully you decide to handle what comes next." His father moved to place a hand on his shoulder, but for the first time that night, Xie Lian allowed himself to flinch away.
He was asking Xie Lian to concede defeat. To fall in line like a good soldier and accept it with dignity. To fall on his sword for the sake of the kingdom. They didn't need the affluence Jun Wu offered. The kingdom was operating just fine without his interference. But his father always wanted more. He always believed that he would find a way to make the kingdom a living paradise. Apparently, Xie Lian was exactly what he needed to make it happen. Not his son. Just a tool.
"Very well," Xie Lian took a shaky breath, steadied his nerves, and bowed. "Good evening, your majesty."
He'd never used his father's title before. But if he wished to treat Xie Lian like a political device, there were no reasons for familiarity. Before he could respond, Xie Lian had already turned on his heel, heading straight for his chambers. Mu Qing and Feng Xin were there, waiting for him and ready to assist with the suit. Xie Lian just shut the door behind him, leaning his back against it and staring at the floor as his head ran through everything. His father was right. Doing this would help the kingdom. Not doing it could be devastating now that the arrangement had been made. He didn't want to be selfish, but he knew that the life ahead of him would be miserable.
"What's wrong with you?" Mu Qing asked, clearly having said a great deal of things that Xie Lian hadn't heard in his focus.
"Would've thought you'd be smiling on your birthday," Feng Xin added.
It was his birthday. That was true. And on everyone's birthday, you are allowed one wish. Xie Lian's was simple. Freedom. But he knew that a wish wouldn't be enough to make it come true. If he wanted it, he had to take it. Without another thought, he rushed to his bed and dropped to the floor, pulling out suitcases and throwing them open.
"Whoa, hold up!" Feng Xin grabbed his arm as he made a beeline for the wardrobe, but Xie Lian shrugged him off, "What the hell are you doing!?"
"Leaving," Xie Lian finally said, grabbing handfuls of clothes and dumping them unceremoniously into the suitcases, "I can't stay here."
"You can't leave," Feng Xin stressed.
"Not like that," Mu Qing added, "You'll fit nothing in the cases at the rate you're going."
"Why don't you fold it for him then?" Feng Xin glared in Mu Qing's direction.
Ignoring him, Mu Qing stilled Xie Lian's hand before he could continue tearing apart his room, "You need to stop and think about this. Is this really what you want?"
Xie Lian listened, taking a moment to truly reflect on his feelings. He'd always longed for adventure. To explore the world and experience dangers, to experience things he'd never get to see, being trapped in that castle. Not only was this an escape from Jun Wu. It was an escape from everything else, too.
Turning his hand over, Xie Lian gently squeezed Mu Qing's and offered him a smile, "I've put this off for far too long."
"Very well. What's the plan?" Mu Qing asked and began folding the clothes, providing far more space in the suitcases.
"What do you mean!?" Feng Xin hissed, "He can't just leave!"
"Not on his own. He wouldn't last five minutes," Mu Qing agreed, "We swore fealty to Xie Lian. No one else. If he wishes to leave, we do what we must to help."
Feng Xin groaned, "You're right. Fuck. Okay, where are we going?"
Xie Lian looked between the pair, "You don't have to come with me."
"If we stay, your father will have us on the gallows within the day for allowing you to leave," Mu Qing pointed out, "Where you go, we follow. So I ask again, your highness; what's the plan?"
It was a sobering thought. His selfish desire to leave meant forcing his best friends to follow. That wasn't fair, either. Part of him wondered if he really should stay. But he kept thinking about Jun Wu. His insidious smiles and his manipulation. Xie Lian wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.
"We take one of the ships. They have supplies on board to keep us going for a while. We sail and we don't look back," Xie Lian said, rifling through drawers and picking out anything he thought might be helpful for the journey.
"I suppose it's as good a plan as any," Mu Qing was still folding clothes when he commanded Feng Xin, "Go pack our bags. His highness and I will meet you at the docks."
Feng Xin looked like he wanted to argue, eventually settling on saying, "You better not leave me behind."
As the two continued to bicker, Xie Lian found a seashell and smiled. It was one he'd found when he was just a child, a rare day when his parents had taken him to the beach. A day they'd felt like a family. Slipping it into his pocket, he decided to keep it. A memento of the past. Something to hold onto as he took the first steps into his future.