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It was a girls versus guys games night at the Brewer-Rose house, where a lively match of Catchphrase was taking place. Stevie, Twyla, and Marcy were in the lead with only one more round to go. It was David’s turn and all he needed was for Patrick or Clint to guess the right answer and tie things up, then head into a tie-breaker round.
He looked at his clue and was briefly speechless, but then squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and started.
“Ok, so, um….it’s something that one might get in the morning.”
“Coffee,” Clint guessed.
“Breakfast!” Patrick shouted.
“No, it’s not something that you put in your mouth. Er….well…that’s not entirely true…”
“What? That’s not helpful, David,” Patrick replied.
“Ok, ok, this is something that only men have.”
“A bigger paycheck?” Stevie chimed in.
“Shhhh, it’s not your turn, Stevie! But you’re not wrong…”
“I don’t know, give us another clue,” Patrick shouted impatiently.
“It’s found in your pants!” David added.
“A wallet?” Clint tried. “Though plenty of women carry wallets, I wasn’t trying to be misogynistic or heteronormative or anything like that,” he rambled.
“Dad, it’s not the time. No one cares. Another clue, David,” competitive Patrick demanded.
“Ahhh…” David started panicking. He looked at his husband, then at Clint, then over to Marcy, then back to Patrick. “Sorry, honey…it’s something I give you…and you give to me. We give each other these things a lot.”
“What?! I have no idea?!”
“Oh my god! I know it!” Stevie shouted from across the room.
“Hush!”
“Come on, Patrick, I know you can do this. Think about the clues….morning, only men have them, it’s in your pants….I give you these all the time, even back before we got together.”
“I don’t…wait…no….it’s not….David, don’t make me say it….”
“Hurry, Patrick, the time’s almost-” David was interrupted by the buzzer. “NOOOOO!”
“It was boner wasn’t it?!” Stevie asked, laughing hysterically.
“Yes! Damn it, Patrick, you knew what it was!”
“David, I’m not going to guess that in front of my parents! You could have picked another word for Christ’s sake!”
“No, that’s against the rules!”
“I would have made an exception! And why’d you have to make the clues so personal?!” Patrick’s face was beet red.
“Oh come on, Patrick, everyone in this room has heard the stories," Stevie replied. "We all knew you had the hots for David long before you got the nerve to ask him out.”
“But my parents didn’t need to know the physical reaction part of all of that!” Patrick stood, huffed, and stomped out of the room.
“Well, I guess it’s not a games night if one of us doesn’t get super competitive and end up storming out of the room," David sighed.
“Competitive or embarrassed?” Stevie asked.
“Ok, that’s enough out of you!”
“Sorry about the loss, David,” Clint said.
David waved him off, “It’s fine. I’m just gonna go….check on him. Why don’t you all set up Trivial Pursuit? Patrick loves that and always wins, that should smooth things over.”
With that, David went off in search of his husband to try and convince him to come back to finish games night. Afterall, even a petulant Patrick would agree that you really did need six people for optimal game play.