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Elphaba’s knowledge of the winding paths in the Wizard’s palace only got her so far. She led them down one hall, then another. Her footsteps slowed as they reached the end of the third corridor, a choice of right or left. Fiyero’s hand found hers, silently urging her to the left. She allowed him to take the lead, briefly catching a glimpse of his face in the process. He was intensely focused and his jaw set, determined.
It was halfway up a flight of stairs that she heard the faint, booming echo of the Wizard gathering the guards. What had taken him so long, she did not care to know, but she felt her urgency mirrored in the tug of his hand. Heart pounding in her ears, he led her to the end of yet another corridor which rewarded them with a balcony.
She held out her broom to him, an overwhelming sense of familiarity as the words escaped her lips, barely a whisper.
“Are you coming?”
He smiled at her, something so charismatic it nearly took her breath away. She mounted the broom, and he followed suit.
“We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”
“Hold on,” she instructed, and tried to keep her breath under control as his hands found her waist. It was respectful, but wouldn’t last him long. “Tighter, probably.” His arms fully wrapped around her waist as they plunged upwards, pulling her back flush to his chest. She could only focus on that for half of a second.
“There!” a voice roared from below, echoed with a concord of urgent demands. One glance downwards revealed at least a dozen soldiers mounting their horses, a chase she was all too familiar with. The first gunshot echoed, she swore she could feel it in her bones. The second and third were quick to follow. The urgency to get out, to get him out safely resonated in her chest. Though she was lucky to no longer have to worry about the Monkeys on her tail, the guards were always easier to outrun.
She went beyond the point she usually went, before ducking into the trees to circle back around. His grip never loosened on her, only unwinding after they had been on the ground for a few moments.
“It’ll be a bit of a walk from here, hopefully it’s enough to throw them off,” she told him.
“It will be. How many times did you shake us off, exactly?”
“Too many,” she mused.
“Exactly,” he laughed. “The Wizard’s guards are not the brightest.”
“Well, maybe not all of them,” she started, risking a look at him. “You managed to find me.”
“Thank Oz.”
She hummed, silence settling between them. The adrenaline was melting away, she realized with a deep breath, her body registering that she was no longer in danger. But as the minutes passed, with each crunch of their footsteps, she became aware of one anxiety being replaced with another. Fiyero had, at Shiz and in the following years, been one of the people she felt safest around, someone she knew she could rely on.
Now, almost instinctively, it felt as if all that progress had been wiped from her system. Her walls were closing around her, annoyance and an unusual sort of anger flickering in her chest. Her grip on her broom tightened, the rough edges pressing into the palm of her hand. He must’ve sensed it, the once comfortable silence no longer comfortable.
“So,” he tried, “last time, you were headed to put a stop to some riots, if I recall correctly.” He paused, clearly hoping for a response, though her mind was currently trying to fight off doubt from creeping in like unsuspecting fog. He urged her more when she did not answer. “How has it been…since then?”
She sighed. “There have been many riots, many protests, many trips across Oz. Very little of it has mattered.”
“That can’t be true. It has mattered very much, what you’ve done.”
She shook her head, not wishing for him to tell her sweet nothings.
“You’ve certainly given the Wizard some grey hairs,” he joked, but the laugh in his voice fell flat when she did not reciprocate.
She shrugged. “And you? I’m sure the Captain of his guard committing treason is something he never could’ve predicted.” She heard the sharpness in her voice, wished she could stop the defensive shield going up. But he was being irrational, delusional, if he thought being here was the smartest choice.
His expression faltered, as if he didn’t expect her to so suddenly doubt his choice.
“Well?” She grumbled, wishing he would stop looking at her like that.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I did.”
“Elphaba,” he said with the utmost patience.
She found herself wishing he would just be angry, or annoyed, or anything else besides kind. He was always tolerant with her, no matter how little she deserved it.
The last time she had seen him, it had been true she was travelling to stop riots against Animals. She, for a change, had sought him out, needing information only he could provide.
In disguise, she attended Galinda’s Lurlinemas masquerade ball. She had cornered him as he had gone for a walk through the garden – a trait she had noticed first in their time at Shiz. More times than not, he would sneak away from a party halfway through to escape the noise and clear his mind.
It had been a quick encounter, maybe ten minutes at most. He had urged her further into the hedge maze once he realized that it was in fact her, and quickly gave her the information he had gained since becoming Captain.
She had begun to say goodbye, but he interrupted her, his eyes earnest. He asked to leave with her, not for the first time whispering the plans he had made to leave this life he had grown tired of. She, of course, said no as she always had to. She had been headed somewhere far too dangerous, and she couldn’t risk it. Not then, not ever.
(Or so she thought.)
She had not gotten far before he grabbed her gloved hand and placed a key in it.
“There’s some Animals in the dungeons. If you have time.”
She nodded, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and she left.
“Why didn’t you tell me where you were headed? At Lurlinemas?” He asked.
“I never told you where I was headed.”
“But that time was different. You were different…scared.”
She scoffed at him.
“And tonight,” he continued, “if you had needed my help, you know I would’ve-”
“I don’t always need help, Fiyero. I’ve been doing this alone long enough.” Bitterness seeped into her tone, her free arm folding defensively across her chest. Ahead, she could make out the peak of her home, and her legs urged her forward.
“I know that,” he urged, “but if anything had gone wrong-”
“Things did go wrong,” she snapped.
“Well-”
“Well, maybe I shouldn’t have come at all then?”
He did not take her bait. “Fae,” he tried.
“Why are you here, Fiyero? Why? Why are you here when you have a whole life waiting for you? When you were supposed to be married today?”
He did not answer her, his eyebrows creasing together.
“Oh, or are congragulotions still in order?” She jeered.
“Elphaba-”
“Well? Should I not take affront on behalf of your bride?”
“Elphaba,” he said with shocking firmness.
“What? Hey-” He tugged her arm, pulling them into a clump of trees. Her back was pressed against a trunk, his other hand clamped over her mouth.
“Listen,” he whispered. Her ears did not have to strain to hear the unmistakable sound of hooves pounding against the ground. They were not in their direct proximity, but close enough to be dangerous. Her face flushed at the realization. She did not dare move, training her eyes just over his shoulder. His abrupt closeness grounded her and dulled the angry fire in her chest, only to be replaced with something else entirely. She heard a voice call ‘all clear’, and as the sound faded away entirely, she hesitantly met his eyes. His hand dropped back to his side, and he smiled.
“You still never let anyone else talk, do you?”
“Why are you here?” She whispered.
His eyes scanned her face, but no answer left his lips.
“Ah, I see,” she said. “Well, I do not need protection. And I would’ve gotten away just fine on my own. You should go back.”
“What?”
“Yes, you can go back. I jinxed you. Cursed, hexed, bewitched, I don’t care. They’ll believe you.”
“No, even if I wanted to. They wouldn’t. Not everyone.”
Her name hung in the space between them.
“They will,” she decided with finality. “I’ve lost all there is to lose with her. I ruined your wedding, your life, I can’t let you give that up.”
“You saved me from a great deal of lies.”
“That’s-”
“The truth, Elphaba. It’s the truth. I wasn't happy,” he admitted.
“But Galinda…”
“Look. Someday, you and Galinda will make up, and we’ll all-”
“No, Fiyero,” she said, pushing him backwards just enough to continue on her path. “You’ll go back in the morning.”
He was frozen for a moment, but hurried to catch up with her. He grabbed her hand, turning her to face him.
“I searched for you,” he said with such urgency it was as if he was professing something she was not already aware of.
“I know that,” she said, not having the heart to pull her hand back to her side.
“No, you don’t. I searched for you, Elphaba. Even when I knew you wished not to be found. To the point that it became the only thing to keep me going. It was selfish, maybe, but I could not live with myself if anyone else found you first.”
Her eyes searched his face, the fight slowly leaving her body. “It’s dangerous.”
“I don’t care.”
“You should.”
“I don’t.”
This gave her pause. She chewed the inside of her cheek, turning to get them back on course. He dropped her hand now, allowing her the agency of how they would continue. She counted their footsteps, 17, 18, 19, before she spoke again.
“I’ve seen people and Animals captured, killed, or forced to leave,” her hands gestured in front of her, trying to make a point. “I cared for them, and I couldn’t stop it. It’s not worth risking everything, Fiyero.” Her throat burned. “What happens when they kill me? I could be dead within the month, or this week if I’m unlucky. What then?” All her worries were spilling out, and even the sad look on his face could not stop it. “And when they make me watch you die? To get to me?”
His breath caught, and she hated the dread that settled in her chest, afraid she had actually convinced him.
“Ah, Fae. I’m not going down without a fight.”
“That won’t stop him, you know that. You’ve committed treason, that’s just the truth. It won’t stop him, especially if it means they’ll get to me. Please, don’t make this harder than it has to be. You’ll be safer if you leave. It’ll be better for everyone.” The words left her mouth without permission, she didn’t even mean them. She could not meet his eyes, even as they approached the entrance of her home.
“Better for everyone? Where would I go? Like you said, I’ve broken several laws in the span of a few minutes,” he said, his voice unwavering. “And what about you? Can you look me in the eye and honestly say you want me to leave? That you do not want my company?” Their footsteps slowed as they reached the entrance. He took a step towards her, and another when she did not respond. “If that is what you want, I will leave without another word. I promise.”
Two more steps toward her, and she had to tilt her head to maintain eye contact. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she focused on breathing – in and out. She stood there for nearly too long, his insistent eye contact making it nearly impossible to think.
Of course she wanted him to stay. She wanted him. But she feared he would resent her one day, when he inevitably grew tired of this life. Or, worst of all, she would lose him. She’d easily choose a life alone over carrying that guilt in her chest – knowing that she could’ve stopped that in this moment.
But she could not lie to him, she oftentimes felt that he might know her better than she knew herself. He saw through her, just as easily as she saw him. He balanced her out, kept her steady. He would know if she lied, just as easily as he knew that there was only one answer to her question.
She let out a dry exhale.
“You’re being mindless, Yero.”
He lifted her chin to finally meet his eyes, a silent surrender in his gaze. His hand moved to cup her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek.
And whatever fight she had mere moments ago drained from her. She was exhausted, sick of running alone and fighting for so long with such little outcome. She had so badly wished she had someone to share her load. Her eyes stung with emotion, and she blinked to keep the tears from coming to the surface.
“I don’t know how to do this…to let someone care for me, I don’t…” She stammered for the right words as he watched her with tenacity. “Everyone I’ve loved has been ashamed of me. Nessa, and my father. He hated me,” she rolled her eyes, leaning into his hand despite herself. “Even Galinda. She was everything to me, but still, I wasn’t worth- and you know all this. I’m sorry. My point is, I don’t know how to do this, because no one’s ever tried before.”
He swallowed, his other hand reaching to grab hers. “You can let me stay,” he whispered with a certain reverence in his voice. “Please, don’t push me away.”
“People will get hurt if you stay.”
(Galinda is already hurt. We might get hurt, she wanted to say. But she couldn’t dwell on that now, she had surrendered her fight.)
“Be selfish, Elphaba,” he pleaded. “Please.”
She gazed at him, struggling still to comprehend that anyone like him could choose her. Warmth spread through her chest, a flicker of hope for the first time she could remember.
She nodded, accepting his hand in hers and leading him through the entrance.
“Stay.”