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Jahoda knocked cautiously on the door of Aino's house, glancing left and right as if she was scared someone would suddenly appear. A smattering of small footsteps could be heard from behind the door as Aino opened it.
"Hi Jahoda! Ineffa's not in right now. What can I do for you?"
"Heyyy, Aino. My arm broke down last night and it's been keeping me up ever since," Jahoda said, gesturing to her robotic arm which had gone limp. Aino gave her arm a brief look, scanning for any obvious signs of damage.
"Looks like either the power module or the connection has gone kaput. Give it here and I'll get it done up for you." Aino held her hands out like a child waiting expectantly for a toy, and Jahoda detached her arm and placed it in her waiting hands. She quickly turned around and beelined for her workbench. "Take a seat anywhere, this shouldn't take long."
True to her word, it didn't take long at all, but for Jahoda it felt like an eternity. While this was Aino's house, it was also Ineffa's, and traces of her were everywhere. While she had stayed up all night, it wasn't her arm that had kept her up. It was that dumb robot, that stupid metalhead that she had very recently realised she had fallen in love with. The entire world to love and she ended up falling for a robot? How was she even going to approach this? Hey, I know that you're a super cool robot and that I'm just a dumb human, but I actually really like you. Wanna go out?
Jahoda slammed her head onto the table and let out a drawn out sigh. She needed to get out and distract herself with another commission, go people watching, clear away some bandits, anything to get that dumb bot out of her mind. Being in here was insufferable. Every little thing reminded her of that idiot she had fallen in love with.
When Jahoda finally lifted her head off the table, Aino was staring at her with a mixture of doubt and confusion apparent on her face and a robotic arm in her hands.
"I fixed it up so now it should be working again." She handed it over without much fanfare, watching as Jahoda reattached it. Right as it clicked into place, she opened her mouth again. "So what's the real problem? Have you not seen Ineffa enough lately?"
Jahoda nearly broke her arm again as she heard those words, falling back in her chair and stuttering as hints of red dusted her cheeks.
"N-NO! I'm perfectly fine not seeing that dumb robot everyday! I'm better than ever, actually!" she blurted out, trying desperately to regain her pride and composure and failing terribly.
"Oh really, now. Well then, I can tell Ineffa that you don't want to see her anymore if that's how you feel." Jahoda lunged forward and began speaking before she had time to think, her mouth moving on instinct.
"Nonononono anything but that!"
Aino looked down at her with a smirk on her face.
"Well, if you do still want to see her, then you should do something special for her."
Something special...
"W-Why should I do anything for that stupid metalhead?"
"Because you like her, duh."
Who knew that the genius of the Clink-Clank Krumkake Craftshop had more behind her eyes than schematics and sweets?
"My suggestion would be to make her a biiiig pile of krumkakes!"
...On second thought, maybe not.
But maybe she's onto something…
An idea sprung into Jahoda's mind. What if I ask around for advice on how to make Ineffa fall for me? She jumped to her feet and bolted out the door, yelling out a quick 'thanksAinobebacklater' as she left.
The first person Jahoda went to for advice was Lauma, who was “coincidentally” in Nasha Town running some errands (as she usually is at this time, according to those notes left on Boss Nef's desk the other day). Judging by the way that Boss Nef responds whenever Lauma asks her to do anything, maybe she has some good tips for making someone fall for you. She called out to the Moonchanter, who turned to her and smiled gently.
"Greetings, Jahoda. How have you been lately?"
"Fine, fine. Hey, listen. I have this friend who could really use some advice from you."
"Oh? Well then, what do they need my advice with?"
"My friend has this person that they sorta, kinda, maybe like. A-and they wanted to know if you had any ideas on how to make this person fall for them." Jahoda looked away as she finished explaining, Lauma's eyes narrowed, closing in on the shorter woman. She thought for a moment, then spoke.
"In my experience, doing something for the other party tends to work, be it cooking, cleaning, or some other act along those lines. Something that shows that you…r friend cares about them."
Okay, ignoring that comment about me, that seems like a pretty good idea!
Before she could open her mouth to thank the taller woman, a different question was posed to her.
"Now, I would like to know why your friend thought that I would have good advice for this subject matter?"
Jahoda froze. There wasn't any good way out of this.
Sorry Boss Nef, but I don't have any other option.
"I-my friend, they see the way that Boss Nef, well, responds to requests from you, a-and thought that maybe you had some good tips on how to, well, do something similar." Jahoda barely managed to get out.
Lauma giggled.
"Well, that certainly makes sense. Thank you for sharing that with me."
"Y-you're welcome. I'll just... go back to what I was doing now." She began backing away as she spoke.
Before she left, Lauma spoke out one last time.
"One last piece of advice. Confidence is key. Trust in yourself, and everything will follow from there."
Jahoda nodded, and left in search of more advice.
The second person Jahoda went to was Nefer. In all her years of experience working with people, surely she had a tip or two that could help her. She walked up to the door of the Curatorium and barged right in.
"Hey Boss! I'm back!"
"Welcome back, Jahoda. How did your commission go?" Nefer put down the papers she was reading as she leaned back in her chair.
"Ugh, you wouldn't believe! There were a few more people guarding that place than the commission said, which, of course, I can handle, but it'd be really nice to know how many there were beforehand!" Jahoda complained, placing a hefty sack onto Boss Nef's desk.
Nefer chuckled.
"So I should go and pay our commissioner a visit myself when returning what they lost, then?"
"Yeah! And guess what? That's not even the worst part! They busted up my arm and it kept me up all night! I got it fixed up earlier, but I can't get that sleep back easily!"
Internally, Nefer glared at her. For anyone else, that would make sense, but Jahoda was clearly hiding the real reason. She had a vague idea of what (or who) it might have been, but kept quiet for now.
After a few moments of silence, Jahoda suddenly switched her posture, going from her normal boisterous attitude to a more coy one, a bit more shy. She must be addressing the real reason behind her sleep, Nefer thought. She placed her head in one of her hands and waited for her employee to spill her secret.
"Hey, so, Boss, I was, um, wondering if you maybe had any tips or tricks to make someone fall for you." Jahoda nervously looked down at the floor, twiddling her fingers behind her back.
"Might this have something to do with that 'dumb metalhead' you've been conspicuously avoiding for the past few days, dear Jahoda?" Nefer asked, a sly grin growing wider on her face.
"A-I-wh-what are you on about? Th-There's nothing going on between me and that stupid robot!" Jahoda spluttered, taking a step back as her cheeks were dusted with a faint red hue.
Nefer stood up from her desk and approached Jahoda, who backed up with each step Nefer took.
"Why, it's obvious to anyone who has eyes. Or ears. From the way you look when you talk about her to the way you frequent the Craftshop with a new excuse every other day, it's patently obvious to anyone else watching you." Jahoda was backed up against the wall by now, the serpent closing in fast.
Nefer slammed her hand against the wall next to Jahoda's head, trapping her in. The light blush dusting her face had deepened greatly, a bright red that made her look almost sunburnt. Jahoda looked up at her boss nervously, mouth shaking and eyes wide.
"That is the trick I have for you. Do it to her and you might just short some circuits."
Nefer lingered for a few seconds before withdrawing her arm, turning around and returning to her desk, leaving her employee alone to recollect herself. Jahoda lingered there for a few more moments, her mind on fire.
Wh-what? Why did she have to show it to me like that? Where did she even learn that? What was Boss thinking?
After some time, she collected herself and moved away from the wall. She made her way over to the door, but before opening the door she turned back to Nefer and posed one final question.
"Boss Nef, did you ever try that trick out yourself?"
Nefer's eyes grew wide for a fraction of a second, looking away from her employee as hints of a blush appeared on her cheeks.
Alright Boss, keep your secrets. They're visible on your face to anyone who's got eyes, anyways.
She opened the door and left, a wide grin on her face. Now it was time to put these ideas into action.
Her first approach was baking. Maybe Aino had more of a point than she initially realised, and they do always say that the way to a person's heart is through their stomach. In this case, it would be through her energy conversion module, but it's the thought that counts.
Now, I can't make krumkakes with the baking skills that I have, however I can probably make those Lakkaberry turnovers Ineffa made a while back. They didn't seem that hard to make, after all...
It would turn out that they were a lot harder to make than she initially estimated. From overripe berries to sheets of pastry rolled out too thin to excessive application of lemon juice, not a single one of them was done right, all before they reached the oven which had been turned up too high, leaving all of them charred to the point that she wouldn't even want to give them to the wildlife. Looking at her tray of burnt Lakkaberry turnovers in dismay, she put her head in her hands and groaned.
Oh Archons, what do I even do with these now? And how do I apologise to Ineffa for taking her ingredients and ruining them like this? I even ruined her kitchen... I gotta clean this up before she notices!
In her despair she failed to notice the arrival of one multifunctional robot, deaf to her footsteps as she approached the tray of burnt Lakkaberry turnovers, only noticing her presence when she picked one of them up.
"Wh-wh-what are you doing, Ineffa?" she sputtered, reaching forward to take the Lakkaberry turnover out of her hand.
"I am inspecting the pastry that you have made, Jahoda." Ineffa replied, moving her hand and the pastry in it out of Jahoda's reach. Her eyes lit up as her gaze locked in on the pastry, analysing the former bounty hunter's creation.
"Analysis complete. These resemble the Lakkaberry turnovers that I made two months ago. However, their structure appears to be somewhat compromised, and they seem to have been left in the oven for too long."
"Sorry, Ineffa. I was trying to make something for you, but it seems that even the easiest option was too much for me." Jahoda pouted, and began to look away. Ineffa looked at her, and promptly put the burnt pastry into her mouth and ate it.
"Wh-what are you doing, Ineffa! Don't do that!"
A few moments passed as Jahoda looked at the robot in worry and fear, preparing for the worst.
"Flavour profile: Sweet, very sour. Burnt pastry. Overripe Lakkaberry."
"Ugh, see? You shouldn't have trie-"
Ineffa put a finger over Jahoda's mouth, silencing her. Then she resumed her report.
"Overall grade: average. However, with some minor improvements and further practice, they could be graded 'great' or even 'fantastic'."
Jahoda stared into Ineffa's eyes, confused at her mixed report and acutely aware of the finger on her lips.
"If you would like, I can advise you on various baking techniques so that you can improve your score." Ineffa retracted her finger and stared at the girl, a faint hint of a smile appearing on her face.
"Eh-Wh-well, i-if you put it like that..." Jahoda trailed on, breaking eye contact. She sighed and admitted defeat. Maybe another day she could woo her.
Her second approach was cleaning. Ineffa spends a lot of her time cleaning up around the Craftshop, so maybe if she did it first one day then Ineffa would think that Jahoda was so cool and considerate and lovable! All that remained was to clean up the Craftshop.
It turned out that once again, it was easier said than done. There were all sorts of gears and screws and other components scattered all across the place, some in rather dangerous positions that could seriously hurt someone! Furthermore, there was an abundance of dirt and dust that had accumulated all over the Craftshop, which took forever to clean up without those nifty gadgets that Ineffa had.
After sweeping the grounds of the Craftshop Jahoda looked around the main hub again, making sure she hadn't missed anything. She found one elusive pile of dirt hidden behind a pile of boxy robots balanced precariously on top of one another. She reached behind them with her broom and attempted to remove the dirt, but accidentally budged the tower of bots, who began tumbling down onto the former bounty hunter. Jahoda ducked down and covered her head with her arms, hoping to shield herself from the inevitable.
Then a second passed. And another. She heard crashing around her, but nothing hit her.
She opened her eyes, and was once again stunned. Ineffa was in front of her, no, on top of her, shielding Jahoda from the bots with her own body. She was delicately balanced above her, arms and legs trapping Jahoda in but keeping her safe. They looked at each other's eyes, and Ineffa asked
"Are you ok?"
As she became aware of the position she and Ineffa were in, a bright red blush spread across Jahoda's face and she began stammering, unable to conjure up a lucid response. Ineffa's eyes grew wider with worry, and she repeated her question, leaning in further.
"Are. You. Okay?"
Jahoda's blush spread to her ears, and as her panic grew even more intense, her mind began to wander.
She's so beautiful. She's so close. I wonder what her lips would feel like on mine. I wonder how strong her arms are. She's so pretty.
Ineffa's concern grew deeper, and she picked Jahoda up by her arms and stood the girl up. Before she could do anything else, Jahoda pushed her away, moving back a few steps and giving herself a chance to breathe.
"Jahoda, are you o-"
"Yes Ineffa, I'm okay! I'm better than ever!" she said quickly, trying to collect herself.
"Very well then. What were you doing earlier, before you were interrupted?"
"...I was trying to clean the Craftshop."
Ineffa stared at her, confused.
"But that is my duty. You are not even a member of the Clink-Clank Krumkake Craftshop. Why did you feel the need to do that? Have I been inadequ-"
"I wanted to do something for you because I care about you!" Jahoda cut her off. "I wanted to try and do some of your work so that you wouldn't have to do it."
"..I see. Thank you for your consideration. I will be sure to remember this."
"Please don't," Jahoda sighed.
She turned around and left, dejected over her newest failure. At this rate, she would never get Ineffa to like her back. It was time for her final tactic.
What she conveniently missed was the small smile that was painted on the robot's face as she watched her leave.
Her third and final approach was the most risky, but it was all that Jahoda had left. Find Ineffa when she's all alone, approach her, and slam her own arm onto the wall next to the robot just as Nefer had shown her. In those trashy romance light novels that come out of Yae Publishing House, they call this move a kabedon.
The first step was finding her when she's alone. Of all the things she had attempted so far, this turned out to be the easiest part. In her head. All Jahoda had to do was check when Aino would next be going out on any number of repair jobs that couldn't come to the Craftshop (ones which didn't need Ineffa's accompaniment), stake out the Craftshop to see when she left, and then swoop in and sweep Ineffa off of her feet.
Staking out the Craftshop was easy, as long as she ignored the fact that she slept in far past when she had to be up, that her appearance was a mess, and that she almost tore her bodysuit while putting it on in a desperate attempt to not miss the perfect opportunity. It was easy once she got into position.
Thankfully, she managed to get there before Aino left. That morning’s debacle had almost toppled her entire plan, and yet here it was running smoothly still. She waited until Aino was fully out of sight, and then snuck her way into the Craftshop, quiet as she could be. She looked around for Ineffa, but found no sight of her outside. Amping herself up, Jahoda approached the entrance to Aino's house, and pushed open the door.
Ineffa stood in front of her, as if she had been waiting for her.
"Greetings, Jahoda. What might be your plan today?"
No. This wasn't how it was meant to go. She wasn't meant to be waiting for it! It was meant to be a surprise!
Jahoda was frozen in place, mortified. She stared at the robot in shock, not moving a muscle.
"Are you alright? I thought you wanted me to be waiting." Ineffa asked her as she tilted her head slightly in the cutest manner possible.
"Wh-why would I want you to be waiting? What gave you that idea?" Jahoda retorted.
"You were very conspicuous this morning when you were observing the Clink-Clank Krumkake Craftshop. I thought you wanted to be seen."
She looked left, then right, then down. There was no way out of this other than following through with the rest of her plan. She steeled herself, then walked forwards.
Damnit, damnit damnit. How did I get myself into this situation? How did I let this happen?
Just remember. Confidence is key.
She marched steadily towards Ineffa, forcing her to back up, step after step, until the robot of her affections was backed up against the wall. She slammed her right hand onto the wall next to Ineffa's head, and looked into her eyes.
One second passed. Then two, then three. Jahoda began to blush, overcome by sheer embarrassment. Four. Ineffa's face had not changed one bit, it showed no sign of emotion. That ineffable fool. By the fifth, Jahoda's face was-
"Jahoda means 'strawberry'. I now see the resemblance."
A small smile crept onto Ineffa's face. Jahoda didn't know she could blush even harder.
"Th-that's enough! I can't do it!" Jahoda tore her arm off the wall and began to back awa-
Her back was against the wall before she knew what happened. Regaining focus, she looked forwards and was faced with the same sight as before, but this time with the roles reversed. Ineffa stood in front of her, trapping Jahoda in with an arm on each side and staring at her with a plain face once more.
"I-Ineffa? What are you doing?"
"That was clearly not how you intended for this to play out, Jahoda. I am simply helping you achieve the desired outcome."
She was stunned. What did Ineffa mean?
"A-and what do you think I was trying to do with this, you dumb metalhead?"
Ineffa looked at her straight on.
"The same goal as your other recent attempts. To make me 'fall for you'."
Jahoda felt like a deer in headlights.
How did she know? Did someone tell her? Did she overhear me asking someone? Why is she still here if she knows what I'm trying to do?
She tried to duck away and escape, but Ineffa moved closer, cutting off her last avenue of escape.
"Jahoda, could you please tell me what you intended to do after you had trapped me between your arms?"
"Why are you doing this?" she pleaded, deeply confused and even more deeply flustered.
"Watching you attempt to make me 'fall for you' produces positive feedback from my emotion module. This would be analogous to saying that I found your attempts 'cute' and 'adorable', and that I enjoyed watching you try."
Does she- Does she actually-
"Do you actually like me?" Jahoda asked before her mind could stop her. Her hands reached up to cover her mouth, but the words had long since escaped. A small smile crept onto Ineffa's face.
"Yes, Jahoda. I do."
Jahoda's hands moved to cover her face completely.
What? What? WHAT? This can't be real. She can't seriously like me. But- But it. It's the only explanation for why she's acting like this. I- she might be telling the truth.
Ineffa gently pried her hands away from her face and spoke calmly.
"What was the next step in your plan after you had me trapped between your arms?"
"I-I was going to get you to tell me how you feel."
"That step has been completed. What was next?"
"Th-then I was going to try and kiss you." She tapered off at the end, barely audible, but still loud enough for Ineffa to hear.
"Would you like to try?" Ineffa asked.
Jahoda nodded lightly.
Ineffa leaned in, closing the distance between them.
Their bodies were pressed up against each other, but all either of them could focus on was the feeling of their lips colliding. Veins and wires alike were set on fire as both of them sank into the softness of the other's lips. Ineffa's lips were smooth and slightly cool, while Jahoda's lips were on fire.
After what felt like an eternity, they broke apart softly, staring into each other's eyes once more. Ineffa smiled at her. Jahoda smiled back.
"I have determined that you have accomplished your goal."
Jahoda giggled.
"And I've got this stupid robot here to thank for that."
Ineffa beamed at her.
"During our kiss, I experienced significant positive feedback from my emotion module. Would you like to help me verify the source of that feedback?" Ineffa leaned towards Jahoda slightly.
"I'd be most happy to." Jahoda closed the rest of the distance herself.
Maybe Jahoda was a failure. But she was Ineffa's failure, and that's what matters.