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When Amo goes back to her room after a shower, she finds Riyo spread out on her bed and flipping through a magazine from Amo’s bedside table. She kicks her long legs back and forth lazily, leaning her head in one hand in a display of boredom. Despite facing away from the door, Riyo is acutely aware of Amo’s approach, barely acknowledging her with a nod.
“You take forever in the shower.” She doesn’t turn, just flips to the next page of the magazine - a fashion title with Too Lily in a lacy red corset and a short, fiery skirt gracing the cover.
Amo doesn’t move from the threshold. “Were you waiting to go in? Amo’s done now.”
Riyo waves a dismissive hand. “Nope.”
She closes the magazine and sets it back on the bedside table, in the exact position that Amo had left it in. If Amo didn’t see her with her own eyes, she never would have guessed that Riyo stopped by at all. There’s something unsettling about the way Riyo can leave a place exactly as she found it, as though she’s a shadow passing through instead of a human leaving a mark.
She sits up, her long hair loose and spilling down her shoulders and back. It’s so pretty, Amo can’t help but stare. “You just gonna stand there, or are you coming in?”
An interesting choice of words, seeing as this is Amo’s room, but okay.
Amo steps in and sits at the edge of her bed, close to Riyo, but not quite touching. “Rudo says you visit your friends at night when you can’t sleep.”
“Nothing passes time better than some company,” Riyo shrugs. “I’m lucky you’re still awake.”
Something warm settles in Amo’s chest when her claim isn’t denied. Something like hope, something like joy. “Does this mean that you and Amo are friends now?”
Riyo looks at her with wide eyes that almost makes Amo’s smile falter, but then her gaze softens as she rolls on her back to make more room for Amo on the bed. “Of course we’re friends. We’ve been friends.”
She pats the spot next to her and Amo bites down on her lower lip, her skin prickling with anticipation. Is this… Is this her first ever sleepover with a friend?!
Amo slides herself down to lie next to Riyo, both of their heads resting on the pillow, and she grins from ear to ear at the thought of spending the whole night with someone she’s grown to care so much about. “Amo’s so happy you came to visit! What should we talk about? Boys? Girls? Books? Amo’s been reading a lot of romance stories lately!”
A million thoughts are running through her head - the two of them talking all night, painting each others’ nails, making jokes only they know about, kissing each other on the cheek, cuddling each other to sleep… Normal friends do all of that, right?
She chews on that thought for a moment, rolls it around in her head. Would Amo want to do any of those things with Rudo?
No. Not all of them. She’d like to talk to him all night and make jokes, maybe even paint their nails together, but everything else… Amo can’t imagine herself doing those things with anyone other than Riyo.
…
Amo knows! It’s because that’s how she wants to spend time with female friends! Male friends are totally different, she spends time with them in different ways! Yeah, that has to be it!
…
Amo scrunches her brows together and stares at the smooth curve in Riyo’s neck. Ever since joining the Cleaners, she’s had a laundry list of emotions to sort through. Sometimes she’ll think she’s reached a logical conclusion only for it not to feel right in her chest. It makes sense in her head that male friends and female friends are different, that she’d want to do different things with them, and that’s true to an extent, but her heart is telling her that something is off in this scenario. There’s a puzzle piece that won’t fit in with the rest, so now Amo has to take the whole thing apart - again - and try to solve it from the beginning.
Riyo’s face splits into a knowing smile as she wraps her arms around Amo, nimble hands running through her hair and rubbing small circles on the back of her neck. Her embrace is all-encompassing, stable in the way that makes Amo feel as though she’d be steady in an earthquake, but it’s also achingly gentle. Riyo isn’t holding Amo down, she’s simply holding her close. Holding her dear. Amo cannot remember the last time anyone has held her with such care. “There, there. It’s okay. You don’t have to have everything all figured out yet.”
There are so many things that confuse Amo, that make her feel so unsure of herself and the world around her, but the fact that she loves Riyo’s warm, citrusy scent is not one of them.
“Amo’s chest feels all fluttery right now, and she's not sure if this is what a normal friendship is supposed to feel like.”
Riyo holds her breath, her entire body on edge. “Does your chest feel fluttery when you're around Rudo?”
A blush creeps onto Amo's face. “No. Just you.”
“And do you like the fluttery feeling?”
Amo thinks about it for a moment and then nods. “Yeah. Amo likes it. But maybe Amo likes it too much?”
“Do you want me to let go?” Riyo trails her fingers down Amo's spine and back up again, her soft touch sending electric shocks throughout Amo's nervous system, a feeling not unlike when Eishia heals her with her vital instrument, only better. Much better. Riyo's voice, sure of itself in a way that Amo wishes she could emulate, is low, almost teasing in her ear. They both know the answer to that question.
Amo shakes her head and nuzzles in closer to Riyo, her face pressing into her chest so she can hear the steady beating of Riyo's heart. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
She can’t bring herself to ask Riyo about the flutters, something about it feels too vulnerable, too real, so she circles back to before. “Do you have everything figured out?”
The answer to that comes in the form of a snort from the way back of Riyo's throat. “Not even close.”
She pulls Amo in even closer, her touch firm, but gentle. She doesn't hold Amo at arm's length like a glass bomb that can shatter at any moment, which is what Amo is more or less used to these days from people who mean well. No. Instead, Riyo holds her like she's someone to be cherished. Someone to be loved. If Amo's a glass bomb that's ready to explode, Riyo's arms will catch all the broken pieces.
“Amo doesn’t know how long it will take to figure all of these emotions out. It’s scary to know how much you don’t know.”
The warm, citrus scent fills her nose once more as Riyo presses a kiss on the top of Amo’s head, her hair curtaining both their faces. Amo can feel her limbs and eyelids growing heavy under the weight of unprecedented comfort. “I’m right there with you, girl. But if you want, you and I can kill some time knowing nothing together.”
“Amo would… like that,” she says just as sleep descends upon her like a weighted blanket over her eyes.
In her sleep, she dreams of Riyo. Of them walking together, laughing, holding hands in a way that normal friends don’t do. Around them, the world is full of question marks and fog, but they don’t mind in the slightest. Light erupts around them as they walk, their world slowly opening up bit by bit, always growing wider and louder and scarier, but they are always in the center of it all, their hands clasped tight.
For the first time, Amo doesn't feel the need to run away and hide until the things she's afraid of disappear around the corner. Amo feels something like bravery in her dreams, and that feeling sticks with her when she wakes up.
In the morning, when Amo blinks the sleep from her eyes and Riyo leaves to get breakfast for them both, everything is exactly as it was before Riyo arrived the night before. Even the spot where she slept on the bed is now wrinkle-free, as though she was never there at all - a passing shadow in the night. The only piece of her that still remains, however, is her scent - stuck to the fabric of the sheets and hanging in the air like a warm embrace. Amo drinks it in with a smile and begins to sort through her puzzle pieces once more.