Chapter Text
It’d happened before. Often as a kid. For a while he thought it was just the way childhood was, a lonely thing where you run away in the hopes of being found.
At first he thought maybe by running away he was being punished by being ignored. Maybe he should’ve made more of a fuss. Maybe he should’ve left a note.
So the next time he ran away he left a note.
But no one came looking.
He always packed the same thing. His favorite snacks wrapped up carefully. Comics to read with daring heroes who defeated powerful villains, and even a few romantic comics he swiped from Kumiko.
He had a few spots he liked. An overturned boat that he hung out under when it rained along with some crabs and a few cats that he fed bits of his snacks to. Usually onigiri or his favorite dried fish.
When the weather was nice he sat in the caves and watched the tides, or walked through them with his things wondering what his life could be if he left the island. He dreamed of pirates coming, pirates from the stories and comics and movies that would take him far away. He’d work first by cleaning and peeling potatoes.
He just needed to practice peeling potatoes first. He wondered if he could practice on the purple sweet potatoes that grew on the island.
But then he’d be great.
Often he took his sai’s, just in case there were mean pirates who came and he had to fight.
He never stayed in the caves overnight. They were too mournful. He could feel it in his heart, that only ghosts lived in them. Ghosts from the past, from the war, all the people who’d hid in the caves during the invasion. Who didn’t make it.
Sometimes he thought he should stay with them, maybe he was a ghost and just didn't know it.
Sometimes he thought about taking that boat he hid under and pushing it out to sea. Have his own adventure, like Miyagi sensei, the first sensei.
But he wasn’t a Miyagi.
He couldn’t just leave the island. The Toguchi’s never left the island.
They were born and died on Okinawa.
But maybe he could be different. Maybe he could be braver, could maybe…fly? Somewhere new?
He daydreamed about flying. About teaching himself how to fly, pretending he was in a cockpit under the pier. Sometimes when he felt the most detached he wandered onto base, studying the airplanes and helicopters, wondering what it’d be like to take one and leave. To fly into the skies towards the clouds and stars. But he knew it was more likely there was a shoot first ask never policy if he tried. So he just dreamed of it.
He wasn't sure when it went from being an inkling that something was wrong--that maybe not everyone was ignored like that, in the same way, that gazes didn't just slide over them--and knowing something was wrong.
Maybe that summer after high school. When after the big storm he’d felt it. Unseen as he’d walked through the village. Unnoticed. A mirage of a person.
But then when his uncle had embraced him he’d felt solid again. Real.
So to be invisible again at this age was…pathetic.
But there Chozen was sitting with his feet dangling into the pool listening to the sounds of the LaRusso household and he was outside. Feeling that cold tingle of his limbs.
He watched them move about. Espresso’s in the morning with the espresso machine. A soft kiss.
His chest ached.
He thought he was fine.
He had students.
He had a life in Okinawa.
But it was like a wound that he kept pressing on. As the fires of the fight fizzled into cold coals and dying embers.
The kids would come down, arguing loud enough for him to hear by the pool, the water lapping against his legs, some robot at the bottom of the pool like the house Roomba hard at working cleaning.
He sometimes wished he had a sibling. Maybe then he’d feel more solid, more stable.
“So we’re at the Tarzana location today right?” He heard Daniel ask through the kitchen window.
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll meet Johnny at the dojo after.”
“Are you going to ride together?”
“Well his van is in the shop,” Daniel said.
“What about Chozen?”
Chozen looked up from where he sat by the pool, and he watched the thoughtful expressions.
“Have you seen him today?”
“Didn’t he move into Mr. Miyagi’s?”
“I think so.”
“You know I think he was hanging out with Mike Barnes.”
Ah.
So it had happened. The way people made excuses that filled in the void where he was, where he had been.
It wasn't just the feeling that it'd happened.
Right?
Chozen got up, walking over towards the window, leaving a trail of wet footsteps that the California sun would erase.
Amanda looked outside, a blank expression on her face, she hadn’t seen him.
“Well he’s a grown man, we’ll see him around when we see him,” Daniel said kissing Sam and Anthony on the top of their heads. “Sam you’re taking Anthony to school today right?”
“Why can’t he ride the bus?”
“You can both ride the bus or you can both take the car. Pick one. I gotta go get Johnny,” Daniel said.
Sam sighed, that sigh of a put upon teenager before grumbling and with that the LaRusso’s finished their breakfast and he watched them walk past him, not noticing the now dried up foot prints, not noticing him.
He was invisible.
Truly invisible. A ghost, like he’d feared once again.
He made his way to the dojo, moving through the house like a spirit. Haunting it. Debating if he should just take a bus to the airport and fly home. Sometimes it was easier to just leave. But he wasn't ready yet. Even though he knew pushing on the feeling anymore would hurt worse, feel worse, would make him feel more useless and more discarded. He was trying to not mourn his adventure for being over so fast, before he'd done much. Before he'd finished the story the way all the other stories went.
Where the hero wasn't alone anymore. But maybe he wasn't a hero. Just a nameless soldier forgotten as the chapters continued, as the battles were forgotten and the world was rebuilt, without him.
He heard the sound of tires on the gravel after awhile and he watched the van Johnny drove pull up. He opened the gate after Johnny parked and watched him, as Johnny sat, rock playing through the speakers, Johnny’s head leaning back.
Chozen was used to being unseen now, after all those years where it happened sporadically so he took more chances than he once wouldn't have. He hopped onto public transit, he walked through zoos and museums unseen and for free.
He carefully opened the passenger door and settled into the seat.
“Hey man,” Johnny said eyes closed. “I know I’m early and shit and I’m sorry but I just need a bit of time and then can you not tell Daniel you saw the van? It’s a bit much to explain at the moment but I’m not ready to junk the thing. I know it’s not great but, you know how it is…right? Maybe? People get attached to cars you know?”
Chozen leaned in close surprised that Johnny knew he was there, when neither Daniel or Amanda had, or the kids. Most people wrote off any oddities, even a door opening.
“Yeah I know,” Chozen said.
He studied Johnny up close, wondering how he knew he was there, if he even heard Chozen.
“Hey Chozen.”
Chozen’s heart leapt into his throat.
He could be heard!
Maybe he was back?
No. It was never this short.
“Yes?”
It was barely the breath of a response.
“It’s not just me being stubborn you know? Robby picked it man. It’s his car.”
Chozen glanced around the van, unable to stifle the incredulous laughter that escaped his lips.
Johnny groaned digging the heels of his palms against his eyes.
“I know, it’s a shitty first car, but it’s his! He picked it. He stole it. He lived in it. So if the damn insurance company wants to say it’s totaled well that’s bullshit. And I know it’s more expensive to fix then like keep, but I can’t just scrap it without talking to Robby. You know? It’s mine but it’s more like it’s mine while I’m waiting for him to say he wants it. Or to tell me that he doesn’t give a shit about it. But it sucks when people just don’t pay any attention to you and throw out your shit or you know don’t think someone might want it. I mean, we had our first road trip in this car.”
Chozen wondered if he touched Johnny’s arm if he’d feel it.
“So talk to Robby.”
“I will,” Johnny said with a sigh. “I’m just trying to not let Daniel scrap it before I get to. You know how he gets focused in on something. So can you not tell him? I’ll move it around back.”
“Won’t say a word," Chozen said.
He was pretty sure Daniel wouldn't hear him even if he tried.
He was close enough to see Johnny’s eyelashes, close enough to count them. He watched him breathe, that soft inhale and exhale as he sat with his eyes shut listening to music.
He sat with Johnny until the CD ended and Johnny opened his eyes and he sat up and he looked at Chozen but he frowned. Brow furrowing. He wasn’t seeing Chozen. Chozen’s heart sank.
“Huh, guess he went back inside,” Johnny murmured to himself, pulling away from the house, hiding the van like he promised.
Chozen watched as Johnny got set up, watched him walk through the dojo, watched the students arrive, watched the lessons and felt even less solid than he had before. Less real.
No one asked where he was. No one mentioned him, or even gave an excuse for where he’d went.
Maybe he should just sneak on a flight back to Okinawa.
He was debating how he'd get his luggage safely to Okinawa and if he could get a seat without someone trying to sit on him after everyone had left when he noticed Johnny sleeping on the deck.
He was breathing gently, a soft rise and fall of his abdomen, he looked surprisingly cozy even though the kids complained sitting on the decks for too long.
Chozen walked towards him, thinking he might sit next to him the way he used to sit next to classmates when he was invisible, and pretend like he was part of their group, or an observer, or an anthropologist studying them.
It was something to do at least.
“Where were you hiding?” Johnny asked.
“I was here,” Chozen said, his heart rate quickening.
“No you weren’t. I looked. Everywhere.”
Had he?
Chozen sat stunned. He thought no one had even noticed.
“I wanted you to teach me that trick with the sai, I thought the kids would get a thrill out of that, maybe we could teach the older ones you know?”
“You want me to teach you?”
“Well yeah man, why not?”
“I didn’t think you—”
“Hey, this old dog can learn some new tricks, and you’re a pretty great teacher man.”
Chozen blinked, startled, surprised.
“I think—” he said voice soft, surprised at the emotion in it. “You’re the only one that thinks that. The only one that noticed I was gone.”
Johnny sat up, eyes opening and he frowned, then he looked around, expression changing and brow furrowing.
“Where the hell did you go?” Johnny asked.
“No where,” Chozen breathed.
He was an old man, he didn’t know why he was crying. It was stupid, he knew he went invisible some times. That sometimes no one saw him at all. But he thought he’d have his whole life to get some of that lime light. To live a grand adventure and what had he done? Never left the island until he was an old man.
No adventures.
All he’d been was a temporary villain in some other teen’s story. And not even the worst or best one.
He wasn’t the one that Daniel had been happy to see, as Chozen had heard at parties with Daniel’s staff about how Daniel had lit up upon seeing Johnny again. And he hadn’t scarred Daniel the way Silver had or Barnes.
He was just…he’d just gone too far and now he was just muscle when needed and nothing else. Nothing more.
Johnny was staring with intense focus in Chozen’s direction and then his hand was reaching the wood of the deck, touching it with a frown, before he lifted his hand, studying his finger tips.
“Chozen?” Johnny said softly.
His hand reached out, slow, tentatively, “Hey man, are you, what sort of badass karate move is this huh?”
He was smiling, but it was a weird smile. One Chozen recognized, where he was wearing a mask, trying to be upbeat but freaking out. The way he did when the kids got hurt. That everything was totally fine even if he was in over his head.
“I’m here,” Chozen whispered, the words hard to get out.
He wanted to scream them. That he was there, that he was real, that he existed and hadn’t gone anywhere. That he wasn’t just the memory of a man, the end of a legacy with no use, a dried up side of the tree with no family to show for it. No one to go home to beyond students who'd probably moved on.
Abandoned, forgotten, lost.
Johnny’s hand poked his nose.
“Shit sorry,” Johnny said, but he didn’t pull his hand away, just frowned, sliding his hand slightly, cupping the side of Chozen’s face.
“Well,” Johnny breathed. “You are there. Why can’t I see you?”
“I don’t know,” Chozen said.
Johnny’s hand slid back, to Chozen's hair and his hair stood on end, before Johnny pulled, pulled Chozen to him, awkwardly, until Chozen felt Johnny’s arms wrap around him.
“How long have you been like this?”
“This time or—”
“It’s happened before?”
“Yeah,” Chozen said, lifting shaking hands to hold onto Johnny. He’d never been hugged in this state before, no one had ever seen him, felt him.
“You’re shaking, Chozen, how do I fix this?”
I.
Chozen laughed and it was watery and he buried his face in Johnny’s neck. The kids always rushed to him when they needed comfort. Excitement, despair, arms held out waiting to catch them. He’d wondered, beyond the moments they reached for him, what it was like, to feel that embrace, alone. Without the need to rush it, to keep it short because there were others.
Johnny felt warm, solid, so utterly and undeniably real.
It felt like he was starving. But not in his stomach, in his skin. The feeling of the fabric of Johnny’s jacket, the feeling of his neck against Chozen’s cheek, the feeling of his breath and heartbeat, of the arms around Chozen.
“You?”
“Why not? Don’t think I can do it?”
It was bait. There wasn’t any bite to it.
A challenge.
“Thank you,” Chozen said.
It defused it, he could feel it. The way Johnny shifted.
“I want to help,” Johnny said softly.
“I know.”
“How?”
Chozen didn’t know.
“This feels like a start," he said softly.
“A hug?”
“Touch.”
It did feel better. Like a recharge. Like when the ground had fallen out beneath his feet a few days ago and he’d woken up like this, that someone had—no— Johnny had pulled him back onto solid ground.
“Has this happened before?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Off and on.”
“Since you got to California?”
“No, my whole life.”
“And no one noticed?”
He sounded incredulous and Chozen turned his head, nose brushing against Johnny’s neck, breathing in his scent. Laundry, soap, sweat from class, and just Johnny.
“No one noticed. Till you.”
“I’ll stay—” Johnny said. “I’ll spend the night.”
Chozen’s fingers tightened, gripping Johnny’s back tight, now that he held him, he didn't want to let go, ever again. “Thank you,” he whispered.