Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The air in National City vibrated with intensity, the ionosphere pulsing as the antimatter wave drew closer to Earth-38. Cracks split the stratosphere above, like someone had taken a mallet and smashed it to pieces as screams echoed off of buildings. Lena felt it intricately, this change, as the air grew crisp, heavier, making breathing slightly more difficult. Sounds of anarchy littered the city, the heavy footfalls of scared animals and civilians alike seeking refuge in the streets. Buildings were on the verge of imminent collapse as the vibrations grew in intensity shaking the very foundation of the earth. The clouds were stagnant, fading into a dismal gray high above the city line as crowds of people rushed past Lena, fear propelling them forward as they dove into the only portal available, their only means of salvation.

A flash of red and blue zipped by in the distance, striking against the ever darkening sky and Lena's heart leapt in recognition. Heat vision seared against metal, delaying the collapse of an apartment building by seconds so people could scamper away. Ice breath outed flames and paved a pathway straight to the portal, making it easier to follow. A red cape fluttered in the wind as cries and shrieks pitched towards her, a wave of sound, unrelenting and fearful. They beckoned to her like one would to a savior, a God, begging for mercy and salvation.

Kara.

The name burned through Lena's thoughts and settled heavily on her tongue. Alex had said that she'd been off world with the other heroes at the temporal zone, dealing with this same situation. Had that been another lie too? Or had the other heroes fallen? She gritted her teeth, willing her heart to calm, to not be affected by Kara's proximity. A complex feeling took root in her chest, one of longing and sadness. Sadness mixed in with anger. Anger at Kara's lies, at the betrayal of trust that had decimated their friendship. She hadn't seen her in the days since their confrontation at Mount Norquay, since she'd told Kara to stay away. And to Lena's chagrin…Kara had obeyed. She had given Lena the space she wanted, had ceased all communications. But that time spent apart had only made the longing in Lena's chest worsen. It had grown to an unbearable ache, an ache so deep that she'd gone through more bottles of scotch than she'd like to admit, just to numb the feeling. A small part of her had still been hopeful that they'd find a way through this, a path out from this ocean of ruins. Now the fucking multiverse was collapsing around them and evidently, they'd run out of time.

Her skin prickled with heat as she refocused, fingers flying across the keyboard in her lap, typing a line of code as she sought to keep the portal stable. The earth groaned, a sound that made gooseflesh rise on Lena’s skin and her eyes drew skywards again despite her better judgment, towards the impending antimatter wave, towards the darkening sky. A gasp escaped her lips when she witnessed the first few shards of earth’s skyline as it fell, splitting apart like a jigsaw being undone as the inky black of space spilled in like dark gossamer threads. Lena’s fingers flew even faster across the keypad, ignoring the buzzing as the portal glitched and shuddered. Made it through countless assassination attempts just to be caught by the literal end of the world, she mused idly. Fate surely had a cruel sense of humor.

"Lena!"

The sound of her name jerked her out of her concentration and she lifted her head, eyes finally moving away from the screen to meet the determined face of Alex Danvers.

“Come on!” Alex shouted, shouldering a heavy duffel on her back and a terrified dirt covered child in her arms. “We have to go!”

Trust was a luxury Lena could no longer afford, especially with Agent Danvers, the person who'd aimed the death ray that was Claymore 3 at her in the bunker at Mount Norquay mere days ago. But, the world was ending. So for now, there was the stirrings of a tentative truce. It was a truce that would only last until their imminent problem was solved, if they happened to survive. And yet, Lena still couldn't help feeling like she was only being used once again as a last resort by the D.E.O.

"I can't leave." She said dismissively, glancing down at the screen and then back up again as the readings jumped and the portal's field trembled. "The fluctuations are too significant, the portal will collapse in seconds if I stop."

“You have a death wish, Luthor?” Alex asked testily. "You did your part, now it's time to go!"

Her expression looked pained as she gestured towards the thinning crowd around the portal mere steps away from Lena's makeshift lab. But the rest of Alex's words were lost as the earth shook again, rattling the foundation beneath their feet. Lena swallowed her barbed retort and hunkered down, ignoring Alex's poor attempts at camaraderie. She didn't want to admit it, but part of her was disappointed that Kara herself hadn't been the one to ask for her help, that Kara wasn't the one to tell her that the multiverse was collapsing. That Kara had stayed away even though that's exactly what Lena had wanted.

The antimatter wave on screen sped up and Lena's entire being shuddered as the sky fully opened up into a yawning abyss of black, revealing the dark nothingness of space. Her hands shook with the effort to stay still, to face this thing head on, even as the countdown on the screen had dropped to mere minutes before total annihilation. A stronger surge of magnetic interference rippled across the portal's field and it grew faint, an echoing hum, about to hum out of existence. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tried to ignore the chaos around, to block out the alarm of the people who'd seen the portal almost collapse. It would do no good to worry, all she could do was hope that she could keep it open long enough for even more people to escape.

Something warm gripped her hand, tugging on her wrist, and the laptop in her lap went skittering across the ground as she was pulled into a standing position. Before Lena could react, she was pressed from chest to torso in that familiar hold, that familiar embrace, that familiar comforting scent of vanilla and spice washing over her. Kara held her gaze firmly, without words, pulling Lena ever closer, into her, always into her orbit. She'd lost her heels in the mad dash towards the portal earlier in her and Alex's efforts to attach a stabilizing agent to its field and monitor its progress. So now she had to look up at Kara, at those blue eyes burning with fierce determination and something far more ethereal than they had any right to. Lena's heart fluttered at the sight, and she shoved against Kara's hold despite wanting those arms wrapped even more securely around her.

“What the hell are you doing?!” She shouted, eyes jerkily flitting towards the abandoned laptop and the flickering portal. “The portal is unstable! I have to stay and-”

“No.”

Lena bristled at the word, a distinct command, wrenching her hands out of Kara's careful hold. She pushed back in, pressing them against Kara's chest, wanting to both push her away and pull her even closer.

“You don't get to tell me what to do!” She hissed, "You lost that right when-"

“I'm not letting you die.” Kara said fiercely, using an unfairly short burst of super speed to instantly scoop her into a bridal hold.

Lena swallowed her gasp, wrapping her arms firmly around Kara's neck as screams and cries for help continued to echo around them. But all she could see was Kara. Kara's brows were furrowed and her lips were set in a firm tight line, worry etched into her features. The super suit was covered with gray patches of debris from collapsing buildings and a thick swatch of what was undoubtedly blood lay across the upper part of her cheekbones and the under part of her chin. Lena's heart quickened, instantly disarmed. Was she hurt? Why was she bleeding? Her hands reached for Kara without conscious thought, their eyes catching and holding in the space between as Lena framed her face between her palms.

Kara's eyes closed on contact as the pads of Lena's thumbs shakily traced the contours of her cheeks, smearing the blood across her face.

“Not mine.” Kara breathed softly, following her thoughts with no trouble.

She reopened her eyes then, and in those eyes held a quiet despair, a realization that shook Lena to her core. I can't save everyone…they seemed to scream at her, to plead for her to understand but what came out was a softly rasped, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Those emotions were heavy, and they burned against the ire of Lena's rage, against the suffocating emotions of betrayal that sprung up from the depths of her soul, intent on bringing tears to her eyes. Kara had done all that she could for the people on this earth and despite the current state of their relationship, or lack thereof, she'd come back for her….she'd come back for Lena. To save her…to apologize one last time. Lena looked away, unable to hold the weight of those eyes, unable to reconcile the bitterness of her feelings despite the warmth of the moment trying to worm its way back into her heart.

She had resigned herself to a terrible fate, to not follow the others to safety into the next Earth. To atone for some of her own misdeeds as a Luthor should. But she suddenly wanted more time….they needed more time. More time to process this, more time to find their way back to each other. Their fallout had been rough, and messy, and Lena still couldn't go a few hours without the memories of them compounding in her heart and bitter tears sliding down her face. Still, all she could do now to acknowledge the sweetness of the moment was to close her eyes and drop her hands to grip tightly around Kara's neck. 

Kara stood still for a moment, cradling her closer, briefly pressing her cheek to Lena's temple as a shuddery breath escaped her lips. Lena felt the small tremors shaking Kara's body, the way that Kara's pounding heart beat seemed to echo hers. Heavy words gathered on her tongue, words she wanted to say to Kara, to apologize perhaps...to berate her for the past...to spill all of her hidden feelings for her best friend out into the open. But there was no more time to acknowledge this, this thing that had ruptured between them, this unfixable thing that they desperately needed to find their way through.

Kara stumbled a little as large cracks parted beneath her feet and Lena grew fearful as the groaning noises from deep inside the earth grew more forceful, the tremors threatening to topple them. She tucked her face against Kara's neck, surrendering to the moment, to this inevitable collapse of a reality they couldn't fix as the darkness from above dripped down like paint on a canvas cutting sharply across the sky. It rushed towards them, devouring every sound and every molecule of air. And Lena let her thoughts focus on Kara. Kara's protective hold on her, Kara's determination to save the earth. Fierce, beautiful, loyal Kara, Kara, Kara.

The last thing she felt was a cold icy wave shuddering around them as Kara bravely and stubbornly stepped through the flickering portal.

Then, Lena's world went dark.

Lena shot up from her perch on the metallic table, the cold stool beneath her skittering back a few paces as she jumped to her feet. Her heart was racing and a fierce surge of pain rocketed across her skull. She winced, pressing a hand to her head and one to the table lined with various little trinkets as her vision swam in and out of focus. She closed her eyes and breathed out slowly, reopening them to the sterile white walls of the DEO lab, confusion teasing at the edge of her thoughts.

How did she get there? She wondered, closing her eyes and trying to remember. It felt like the entire room was humming…like the world itself was humming, a subtle vibration that rattled deep within the marrow of her bones. It wasn’t the soft, alive hum of the machines in the lab or the city’s steady rhythm beyond her windows. No. This felt deeper, ancient, vibrating through her entire being as though the very air was recalibrating itself, restructuring, rebuilding.

She took an unsteady step away from the table, the metallic scent of ozone sharp on her tongue and the curious notes of vanilla and spice lingering in her nose as her eyes focused through the sole window in the room. The sky outside was a deep piercing blue, the lines of the forming clouds a little too neat, like a painting that hadn’t finished drying. The skyline of National City stretched familiar and strange all at once, towers in the right places, lines of traffic and people going about their own business. But everything seemed tilted in ways memory didn’t approve of.

Memory.

That was the problem.

There were gaps, not blank spaces, but places where her mind simply…hesitated. It was like trying to recall the next line of a song she’d once known by heart, or a favorite book she'd read in her youth that she now realized she remembered wrong.

A knock at the slightly ajar door startled her.

“Miss Luthor?”

A voice. Polite. Familiar?

When she turned towards it, a man with an angular face and dark shoulder length hair stepped into the room. Brainy. Her mind supplied helpfully. He was slightly out of breath, a little panicked but exhaling sharply in relief once he'd seen her. "Oh good, you're awake."

Had she been asleep? She frowned, willing the pulsing in her head to settle, to allow her thoughts the space they needed to recall what she'd just been doing. Brainy looked at her a little strangely, squinting at her in the dimly lit room.

Were they friends? She couldn't remember, but she smoothed down the ruffled pads of her shirt and fully turned towards him, offering a wan smile. He relaxed a little at her expression.

"I'm here to escort you to Director Luthor." He announced, opening the door a bit wider. "We have an important new recruit and he wants to introduce her to the team."

Lena blinked, then her brows furrowed in consternation. “Director…who?”

“Lex,” Brainy said, concern leaking into his tone. “Your brother. The Head of the DEO. He said you’d also want to be briefed before the next mission.”

The name landed like a shard of glass in Lena’s chest, sharp and biting. She knew it, of course. Knew him, had grown up with him, always in his shadow. But something in the word Director felt wrong here. Lex Luthor running the DEO? That couldn’t be right. That shouldn’t be right. Still, she nodded, slipping on her lab coat emblazoned with the crest of the DEO, masking confusion with practiced poise.

“Of course,” she murmured and Brainy nodded, lingering for just a second before he led her out of the lab and down a gleaming hallway she didn't quite remember existing.

The DEO was larger now, sleek, renovated with shiny new equipment and the latest alien technology money could afford. The den was buzzing with activity due to her brother's unexpected arrival, something he liked doing, keeping everyone on edge. Agents passed by briskly, some greeting her with subtle nods, some with salutes. The ones sent on missions headed out to the weapons containment unit while others skittered about the room, making sure that everything was perfect for Lex's scrutiny.

In the command room, the atmosphere was a bit tense. Lex's grin was too polished, his voice too measured, his face too delighted as everyone skittered around, bowing to him like he'd invented the air itself. The gesture made Lena a little sick and she stumbled forward, arm catching the handle of the door as she steadied herself.

"Sis." He greeted her with wide open arms, standing at the head of the sleek, enormous round table. Lena got the distinct impression that he thought of himself as a King briefing his loyal subjects and she had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. "Good of you to join us."

She nodded stiffly. This was standard greeting between them after all. But the ringing in her head grew in intensity as she fought her way to the table. His probing gaze made her feel strange, made her skin itch as his dark beady eyes followed her closely. Did he know that she didn't feel well? Did he know what was going on with her?

"Are you still mad that I improved upon your little Q wave science experiment and made it relevant?" He asked with mocking sympathy, watching in delight as Lena's jaw tightened.

"Stole, is the correct terminology." She answered, recalling the success of the tech she'd lost sleepless months to while tweaking it to near perfection. It was an experiment that had made criminals harmless. Lex hadn't done a thing except intensify the output and released it under his own patent way before it was ready for public consumption. Lena had raged at him for months for it, for his recklessness and blatant ignorance for safety protocols. But everything had turned out fine and he'd been rewarded and she'd had no way to prove that he hadn't collaborated with her on it. "But that's in the past, ancient history."

There were much more people in the room, she realized, other scientists and agents standing around Lex's grand round table that was devoid of seats - a stupid power tactic most likely. She stood at the closest point to the door she could manage, fingers twisting deep in the pockets of her lab coat as she fought to ground herself. Lex's speech was long winded and filled with lofty, bold declarations. He spoke of rebuilding the world after the crisis, of merging realities, of new responsibilities. Of helping the refuges from other worlds to settle in and not create mass pandemonium. The crisis, he explained, had collapsed the multiverse and displaced millions and now there was only one Earth left - theirs.

Lena tried to concentrate, tried to prevent the ringing in her ears and the sharp taste of metal on her tongue from disrupting her concentration as Lex introduced his newest recruit - an alien he claimed to have rescued from another Earth.

A tall blonde woman entered the room then, a stern yet oddly nervous expression on her face. She wore a standard black DEO uniform, not unlike the other agents, and her hands were balled into loose fists at her sides. When Lex introduced her as Supergirl - the better version of his enemy Superman, Lena's throat went dry. The image of Supergirl shifted and for a moment she was smiling wide at Lena, the dimples in her rosy red cheeks on full display and her signature uniform, a blue suit with a red skirt, the crest of the House of El emblazoned on her chest.

Lena blinked and the image was gone but Supergirl’s electric eyes drew hers from across the room and when their eyes actually met, Lena could swear that time itself stopped. There was a flash, not visual, but emotional, a pull deep in her chest. For a fleeting heartbeat, she thought she saw something shimmer at Supergirl’s wrist. A thin red glint, gone as quickly as it appeared.

Her fingers twitched, the moment between them stretching, Lex's words lost in the background and then - Lena was falling. Her shaky knees had buckled beneath her and she braced herself for the fall, only to be caught in arms, strong familiar arms, that vanilla and spice assaulting her senses. There was a hint of displaced air at her back and Supergirl’s concerned face inches away from hers, closer than she'd been before.

Her eyes were the sharpest blue Lena had seen, like the crystal waters of a lake on a clear summer's day, the realest blue she'd known since waking up. She was saying something, an echo of her words trying to reach Lena. So Lena's eyes dropped to her lips, watching as she asked her question again.

"Miss Luthor, are you okay?" were the words those lips formed and Lena frowned deeply but nodded as she was pulled up from the floor and into a standing position, pressed from chest to torso with this woman, this stranger who felt so familiar.

Her mind rebelled against the fog stubbornly cloaking her thoughts as a warm arm curved around her hips and another pressed against her cheek, concern in the layers of Supergirl's pretty face and the deep furrow of her brows. Something flickered in Lena’s chest, guilt, affection, longing…she couldn’t tell which. The hum of the world deepened for a moment, and she swore she saw that faint red shimmer again, a thread wrapped around Supergirl’s wrist, leading down down down to Lena's.

It vanished between them when she blinked and Lena regained her bearings slightly, enough to politely step away from the woman with a softly muttered, "Thank you, I'm fine. Just a little tired."

Her hands were buzzing from the contact alone, her feet jittery with nervous energy and she suddenly couldn't look Supergirl in the eyes.

"A little tired? Lena." Lex interjected, like Lena was still the little child who would follow him around and do anything he said. "You really ought to get more rest instead of throwing yourself at the feet of our newest recruit."

Small snickers erupted around the room and Lena's face warmed as she cleared her throat. They finally stopped once she managed a half hearted glare towards Brainy, who then passed that glare onto the others in Lena's stead. Lex looked positively smug, like the cat who caught the canary and Lena turned away from the woman and back to the table as the laughter died down, acutely aware that Supergirl’s eyes hadn't left her.

"A recruit who will, incidentally, become the new public face of the DEO and the head of our Attack Unit." Lex continued with his announcement to a smattering of applause as Supergirl finally made her way towards him, standing at his side like she was proud to be working with someone like him.

That image of them standing together flickered, like the lines of static on a television screen. It seemed downright wrong. Kara would never. Kara? Lena frowned, the pulsing in her head dying down a little and giving way to clearer thought. She didn't know that name…but felt it's familiarity settling on her tongue like honey. She shook away the thought just in time for Lex to announce that as his Chief of Technology at the DEO, Lena would be expected to outfit the hero with the right gear and a proper suit. Now that was something she could handle.

She accepted her new responsibility as the meeting went on, and then they were finally briefed on their mission - the closure of a strange crisis rift down by the docks which would require both brains and brawn. It had appeared out of no where and the area had been cordoned off and a warning issued to civilians. It seemed simple enough. Lena and Brainy had dealt with many breaches before, they were a well oiled team who could handle anything. Until Lex mentioned that a consequence of the portal was the unending stream of rift monsters.

That had gotten Supergirl's attention since she'd apparently also been rescued from one of those rifts. She vowed that she would help out, that she was fast, and strong and Lex nodded his approval, an unsettling smile curving his lips that Lena didn't like. He would be traveling for a few days on business, meeting with other government departments who were practically salivating for a chance to be a part of and fund his newest world saving initiative - his words. Lena knew that part of that claim was probably true but it was mostly just a cover for his obsession with tracking the outlaw he'd nicknamed Superman.

After they were dismissed, everyone crowded around Supergirl like the newest specimen she was, asking questions which she fielded with polite smiles and honest answers. She was earnest and kind and they all gravitated to that, to her, like a magnet. Lena didn't know exactly why she'd given the so called hero a wide berth, but every time she looked at her something strange stirred in her chest, a shift, a pulsing Lena couldn't explain.

Brainy pulled Lena aside before she could isolate herself in her lab, having witnessed her near collapse. But she brushed off his concern, only settling for a short restorative rest in the med bay under his direct observation which actually managed to clear some of the fog away from her mind.

When night came, Lena stood alone in her lab, the city sprawling beneath her and an ocean of unresolved questions plaguing her thoughts. On the worktable before her lay fragments of memory she couldn’t place - symbols, schematics, the faint impression of a fortress made of ice, of pulsing betrayal and deep heartbreak and tears cried for weeks. She thought about eyes, as deep as the ocean, of strong arms meant for holding, for rescuing, and sweet vanilla and spice clinging to warm sun kissed skin.

She frowned deeply at her strange thoughts and when she looked down, she saw it again, a thin, crimson thread stretching from her wrist, pulsing faintly in the dark. It led outward, through walls and air and distance. Lena blinked a little unsteadily, daring to follow it's pull, hoping beyond all hope that the crisis hadn't fractured her mind beyond saving. Could anyone else see it? She wondered as she walked through long corridors and empty rooms, down towards the containment unit where Lex's more risky experiments were stored. And there on a small cot in a dark room sat the object of Lena's fascination herself - Supergirl. Her eyes were closed, her head tilted back against the wall, and the strange pulsing red thread Lena was following tied loosely around her wrist.