Chapter Text
Laurie has always been an anxious person. And tomorrow being a game day on top of the three tests she needs to take does not help.
Sure, she's better at softball then she was in middle school, but she is still noticeably not the greatest. She's good, just not as good as her teammates. And she hates that.
So, she was a bit anxious about tomorrow's game, but she was going to be fine. She hoped.
She was trying to study for her tests–English, Math, and Science–but thoughts of the upcoming game were taking over her mind.
Her dad moved up to high school with her, so he still coached her team. Most of her friends from middle school were on the team as well, plus some new additions. And worst of all, Kai, her old best friend, was now her girlfriend.
Don't get her wrong–Kai being her girlfriend isn't the worst part of it. It's more of the thought of disappointing her. She really didn't want to disappoint Kai.
Thinking about all of this just made her more anxious. Her anxiety wouldn't go away, she couldn't stop thinking about it.
She wiped her palms off on her jeans, she was starting to sweat a lot.
She was shaking too, her whole body.
Her chest felt tight, which was causing her breaths to get faster and shorter.
Her breathing caused her to feel dizzy and her heart to speed up, but she couldn't stop.
Her chest hurt too much.
She couldn't think, or all she could do was think. Which was it?
The game
Don't disappoint dad
The game
Don't disappoint the other players
The game
Don't disappoint Kai
The game
"Laurie? Laurie!" Someone was shaking her. "Laurie, snap out of it!"
She felt her hand be placed on someone else's chest. She could feel their heartbeat. It took her a minute, but she understood whoever the person was wanted her to match them.
She closed her eyes and listened closely. She could hear someone's exaggerated breathing and could feel their normal heartbeat. She matched the breathing as best as she could and focused her energy on getting her heart to slow down.
It took a while, as suspected, but eventually her breathing became normal again. She didn't feel as sweaty. Her chest didn't hurt anymore. She wasn't shaking. She was still dizzy, but not as much.
Slowly, she opened her eyes. Kai was sitting in front of her, looking worried.
Laurie noticed she was still sitting in her desk chair, but it was now faced towards her bed where Kai was sitting.
"Laurie?" Kai asked, most likely checking if she was with her.
"Huh?" She seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in.
"I asked if you were okay." Kai informed her, still looking worried.
"Oh," Laurie said. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay now." She tried to for a small smile, but she could tell it did little to ease Kai's worry.
"Are you sure?" She asked. "You seemed pretty out of it." When Laurie didn't respond, she sighed. She took Laurie's hand in hers. "Come on, talk to me. I know I don't know much about them and I don't see them often, but that looked like an anxiety attack to me. You haven't gotten one in a while, something has to be bothering you."
Laurie leaned back in her chair, hand still gripping Kai's. "I'm just . . . really stressed out."
Kai nodded, urging her to continue.
"It's . . . stupid. But I've been really anxious about the game tomorrow."
"Hey," Kai said, looking serious. "That's not stupid. It's okay to be anxious about it. But . . . why? If you don't mind me asking. You're so good at softball, Laurie. You've improved so much."
"I know I have," she sighed. "But . . . what if I mess up? I've improved, yeah. But I'm still not as good as the other kids, you can't deny that."
"Who cares if you're not as good? You're as good as you can be right now. And you'll only keep improving."
"I just don't want to disappoint anyone." She admitted.
"Who would you disappoint?" Kai asked.
"My dad, our teammates," she looked down and said the next one quietly. "You,"
Kai looked suprised and hurt when Laurie had the courage to look up, and she immediately looked down again, feeling guilty.
"Hey," Kai said, tilting her chin up so Laurie was looking at her. "You could never disappoint me. Ever. Even if you miss. Even if you don't catch the ball. Even if we lose. It doesn't matter, you won't disappoint me."
"But–"
"No buts about it," Kai interrupted.
"Promise?" She asked.
"Promise,"
Laurie gave Kai a smile and pecked her on the lips.
"Ok, come on." Kai said, helping Lauire stand up.
"Woah, hey. I still have to study! I have three tests to take tomorrow!" Laurie protested.
Kai rolled her eyes and smiled. "Laurie, knowing you–and because I saw you doing it–you've probably studied your brains off for the past week. Your brain needs a rest. You do too. It'll be good for you."
Laurie groaned, but didn't fight her on it. She let Kai pull her into bed and cuddle her as they both fell asleep. And Laurie couldn't help but agree that this was what she needed at the moment. She was just lucky she had a girlfriend that made sure she got it.