Chapter Text
The fluorescent lights of the police station were the color of spoiled milk, white but sickly, buzzing like insects trapped in glass. He stood beneath them, their sterile hum crawled under Sae Itoshi's skin, gnawing at his nerves in a way jet lag never could. He'd crossed oceans for this, half on autopilot, half on instinct, yet his body moved as though it were tethered to something invisible, something he didn't want to name. He wore the same expression he always wore on a football pitch when his team was losing by three and he knew the game was already over. Detached. Impassive. His hands in the pockets of his coat as if he'd come here to pass time, not to answer to something as inconvenient as family.
He hadn't wanted to return. This was the 1st of July, the mid of Summer. Sae didn't enjoy the scoring sun and this made things even worse in way he wouldn't describe. The call had come during early morning in Spain—some officer with a tired voice telling him his brother had been reported missing for forty-eight hours. Missing... It wasn't the sort of word that belonged in Sae's vocabulary. Objects went missing, socks, keys, phone chargers. Not people and certainly not Rin.
For a second, he thought it was some pathetic prank. Fans could be rabid, sick even but this?
Then the officer rattled off details, voice dry and professional, and Sae's stomach knotted. Not in grief — irritation, vexation and absolute distrust. Inconvenience and under that, anger he shoved down so hard it threatened to claw back up through his ribs. This was a misunderstanding and he was sure of it, Sae would swear up and down that Rin wasn't "missing" in that way. His little brother was simply minding his own business, what's the issue if people didn't see him for more than 2 days? Rin just wants space and Sae knows it.
Everyone else is a fool.
He had booked the next flight with mechanical precision despite having matches dew in a few days, packing nothing but necessities. His manager had tried to stop him, warned of bad press, but Sae didn't listen, he never did. The media already called him cold, arrogant, unfeeling. Why disappoint them now? He needed to storm back to Japan, and give the Police a piece of his mind for even coming to such an inconceivable conclusion that Rin was missing.
He should have felt guilt, that's what most will want him to feel. Instead, what he felt was bothering frustration. Because this—this mess—dragged him from Madrid to Tokyo, tearing him out of training, out of focus, all for an exasperating brother he had told to disappear. The irony bit at him like a small dog that wouldn't let go and now here he was, thousands of miles away from Re Al, standing in this suffocating box of cheap tile and stale air, because some part of him had agreed. Because the officer had said, "You were listed as the emergency contact." Because his parents had apparently gone to pieces, unable even to hold the phone.
Because, though he would sooner cut off his tongue than admit it, something sharp and unpleasant had stabbed the inside of his chest when the words "your brother" and "missing" collided.
He wasn't worried about Rin because he knew this was just an error, a flaw in the Data and people's common sense. Rin is okay, he can be where ever he wants, people don't need to know Rin's location 24/7 hours, end of story.
Another thing that bothered him was the thought Why me? The words "emergency contact" had been apparently listed by Rin himself. That, more than anything meant the useless dead weight boy he had casted aside for good still considered him someone to call when the world collapsed.
And to Sae? It was pathetic, Rin should be strong and independent.
But it had some weight into it, a lot. But Sae refused to acknowledge it, irritation was safer than fear. It was disgraceful but fear was weakness. And Sae Itoshi didn't acknowledge weakness, he'd rather eat his own dignity.
He hated the smell of this place — paper, sweat, disinfectant. It reminded him of locker rooms after losses, when the air went stale with disappointment and shame, tightly bottled in a space too small for hope. Except here, it wasn't a game. The stakes weren't trophies or headlines. It was assumed to be Rin and Sae had no idea what the hell to do with that. Rin's ghost, once again was making Sae clean up after him, why can't his little brother grow up and leave his shadow? He clenched his jaw and fixed his eyes on the bulletin board at the far wall, where cheap printouts of "MISSING" stared back with dead black-and-white eyes.
Rin could have been one of them. For all Sae knew, he wasn't.
This was a mistake and he'll make them pay for making him waste his precious time on this worthless case.
The officer at the desk recognized him immediately, of course, everyone always did. A flicker of shock, the look that said you're the genius, the prodigy, the boy who conquered Europe at fourteen, the one they write articles about. They never saw the cracks or maybe they did and just didn't care. Fame blurred all the ugly details anyway.
"Ah! Itoshi Sae-kun? Your parents are waiting in Conference Room B-4."
He gave a curt nod, sharp as a blade slicing conversation before it began and walked. His shoes clipped against the hallway, every step stiff with a fury he couldn't place. He was angry, but the anger had no clean target. Not yet. Maybe he was angry at his parents, maybe Rin's pitiful team, maybe Rin for being so childish... Maybe he was angry at himself for even bothering to step foot here.
He was just furious.
The room was too small for three people who shared the same blood but nothing else. His mother sat folded in on herself, hands clutched white around a handkerchief that had already drowned in tears, her dress and cardigan were mismatched, she had probably grabbed the nearest clothes and came rushing at the fake news of her son being missing. His father stood stiffly behind her, jaw set, eyes burning into the table as though sheer will might summon Rin back. The man's rigid spine pretending at dignity but cracking at the edges, his clothing was no better than his mother, both of them sat hunched like discarded puppets. For a moment, Sae only saw strangers—two aging people folded in misery, nothing of the polished, iron-willed figures who had once dictated every hour of his childhood.
It's true Sae hadn't seen them for quite a time but they looked a lot older, maybe the sheer stress and lighting was taking a toll on their face. He probably looked better than them anyway so it doesn't matter.
Something in his chest twisted, sharper than any blade and he pushed it down before it could cut deeper, it was lamentable that his parents were easily fooled by mere rumors, not to mention to an extinct of breaking down? When they looked up and saw him, something flickered across their faces — relief, accusation, desperation all tangled into one, maybe something else too somewhere.
He was physically trying not to scrunch his up in utter disgust. If he was weak, he too would be looking just like them and the mere thought made him want to hurl on the spot.
Rin is alright, Goddammit.
"You came," his mother whispered, half-standing with shaky legs as she wiped her eyes, brushing away the tears that kept rolling down anyway.
"Obviously," Sae replied flatly, why were they speaking like he wouldn't have came when Law was literally hot on his tail. His voice carried the same weight as steel doors closing. He didn't hug her as she approached but he didn't push her away either. Didn't lean in, he just let her hold his shoulder, lean against him and cry out, watching with a blank expression as his body stiffened. He didn't like this sort of physical contact, she was leaning on him like Rin was gone for good when to Sae, he definitely wasn't. He instantly pulled away after his father stabilized her and just took the chair across, Sae set his elbows on the table and stared.
His father straightened as he sat beside his sobbing mother on the couch at the back of the room. "We've spoken with the officers already. We told them everything we knew, they will ask more but right now it's your turn"
That was it, after a 14-hour flight there were no hellos, no "How are you, was the flight okay?" and Sae didn't mind it. The current situation had drained his parent's every sense, greetings and formality felt like a burden when more important things were at hand. It was laughable, being so concerned over what would prove to be false.
Sae stayed seated as he shifted slightly on his chair. "What happened?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer but still felt the need to ask again, maybe to clarify? or maybe a part of him was hoping for a different response, the one that denies the earlier claims? His father's silence was an answer enough. His mother tried to fill it, halting through sobs "He—he was last seen after practice in a café. He didn't come home. His phone was found abandoned..."
Sae cut her off. "So Rin just walked off. Typical."
The room went still. His father's eyes snapped to him, fury barely leashed. His mother flinched as the words struck while Sae didn't flinch back, words dropped from his mouth like stones through glass, breaking things on impact, he didn't care, he always spoke the truth, if people can't stomach it then it's their issue. "Your brother is missing," his father said, voice low with restrained venom, feeling fury build for his eldest son who wasn't showing an inch of care. "And that is what you choose to say?"
Rin is not missing, you're a fool.
"He's always been reckless," Sae replied, tone as frigid as winter steel as he pushed his thoughts aside. "Don't act surprised..." Sae's voice died in his throat before he could muster another word, the hours of dehydration had decided to take over. He quickly swallowed to wet his dry-throat which ached at the action, leaving no choice. Sae finally reached out for the water glass on the table and drank it.
Drinking water after spiting poison, what a joke.
The quiet that followed wasn't just silence—it was a battlefield, every breath a blade unsheathed. The auburn haired male felt his parents gaze on him but he ignored them as he placed the empty glass down, none of this was worth his time. The quiet reminded him of old matches in their childhood where Rin used to sit on the sidelines, waiting for Sae's approval that always came until it stopped as the older Itoshi simply lost his acknowledgement of Rin's withered talent.
This worthless country made Rin even more worthless. Sae wondered why Rin didn't quit the moment Sae had taught him reality.
The older Itoshi hadn't bothered eating or even checking the time, not until he step foot in the police station out of all places, he had used every last bit of remaining energy to squeeze out of the press's hold outside the building, telling them to shut the fuck up and leave him alone. He hated the media, he hated when they pressed too far, he hated how they never let him breathe without documenting it for Netflix. Luckily for him, the police didn't allow the press to enter the station or else Sae's headache would have turned fatal. Sae's mother's voice cut through his train of never ending thoughts, repeating the same statement like a mantra, hoping to find an answer in the same words that only asked questions. "We don't know where he is. He just...he just disappeared. He wasn't home, he wasn't with his friends or what so ever, his phone—" same verses every time another officer asked.
Sae's lip curled as his brows frowned, his grip on his phone going impossibly tight that it was a miracle the screen didn't crack and even if it did, Sae wouldn't care as if for right now, it felt like his whole reality had cracked when this joke popped up. "So you didn't notice until two days later? Impressive."
Her face cracked, wounded. His father's glare shot across the table, sharp enough to stab. "Watch your mouth, Sae! We're suffering here. There's no time for insensitivity, we need you to focus, we aren't playing games here!" The tone was harsh, colder and louder like never before, barely holding grief and anger in one place.
Okay, that felt odd. Throughout their childhood, his father had never raised voice at him, not when he took the blame for Rin's broken toys nor when returning bruised from reckless soccer games, that tone had always been clam, clipped and strict at times but never loud. Now being suddenly disciplined was something else. Sae didn't knew how to reply to that but he spoke anyway. "I'm just saying what it is," he said simply, eyes cold as good as dead while his tone was low as if speaking to a wounded animal, trying not to come out loud to startle it. "If Rin really went missing, someone should've realized sooner. That's you both... But that's not the case, Rin is probably doing whatever he does and all of you are overreacting."
"Sae, this is not a joke! Your brother is missing and we don't know if he's okay!"
Looks like he needs to wait until Rin shows up himself to shut everyone up.
No one here has the brain to understand what Sae was trying to say. He knew his parents were both working and rarely present at home, but still if anyone were to blame right now, it's them. However none of that matters because for God's sake, nothing has happened to Rin! so what if his phone's off? so what if they don't know where he is or is there an issue if Rin wants some time alone?
Has his idiot brother walked off again, said "hey" to a stranger and got thrown into a white van, what a shocker.
The silence afterward was volcanic — not loud, but seething, ready to erupt. His mother broke first, clutching her handkerchief like a lifeline, Sae felt the need to do something, to somehow make her stop folding in half, say things like "it will be okay" but he couldn't, he didn't knew how. It had been a long time since Sae had needed to soft down and hold someone, as time flew, he simply forgot how to provide protection not when he, himself didn't had a protector. His father muttered something about respect, about how Sae had became like this, something cruel, someone too distant, something not human anymore. Before their- no his father, since Rin is not here, could lash out on his son about it. A knock at the door saved the room from self implosion. "Mr. Itoshi?"
The voice belonged to a woman, calm yet clipped. She was young and close to his age, maybe a little younger—but carried herself with the steady gravity of someone who had already walked through storms and survived. She wore the badge and dark blazer like armor, her eyes sharp but not unkind. Her hair sleek black and neatly kept, well-trimmed bangs adorned her forehead reaching her bluish-grey eyes complimenting her fair complexion all together.
Everything felt like a hazy-dream, maybe this was karma for not touching food and water for the previous 14 hours, not caring to freshen up when he reached Tokyo. But no matter how much time passed, this nightmare didn't end and it only worsened Sae's annoyance: This wasn't a dream and he's stuck in a swarm of idiots. His skeptical eyes fell to her ID, unimpressed and he didn't approve of her, not anyone here.
Detective: Evelyn Aldridge Age: 21
Even that name sucks... What a scam. So she's 2 years younger than him? the same age as Rin.
"I'll be handling your missing brother's case. We've compiled everything we know so far. Thank you for flying in on short notice. We need to clarify details about your brother's last known whereabouts"
On the surface, he was ice incarnate but inside, something shifted. Because no matter how much he'd tried to erase Rin from his life, the word missing had teeth. And those teeth had already sunk deep. Sae leaned forward, expression unchanging while his parents straightened up, ready to answer whatever came their way, there was a flicker of hope in their eyes as if this one conversation would lead them somewhere.
She cleared her throat, keeping her voice calm.
"I am Detective Evelyn—"
"If you have questions, ask them. Cut out the unnecessary intros. My brother is not missing, he'll show up when he wants to. You're wasting your time."
His mother winced, his father shifted uncomfortably. The uniformed officer by the wall raised his brows but said nothing, pen scratching against paper. His ID: Mitsuki Nakamura. They had seen this hundreds of time, hurt victims unable to hold themselves together, worse part? There wasn't much they could do. But Sae wasn't hurt, he was vexed.
Evelyn's gaze didn't so much as flicker, she smiled at him while he scowled in return because after dragging him into the soil of this very country he resents, this woman had the sheer audacity to smile at him? Sae's parents stood up from the cushioned couch and took seats on the chairs next to Sae, his mother in between and his father to the right. Stiff shoulders, clutching tissues and each other with the cautious wariness of people who had already lost track of hope once and were terrified of losing it again.
So utterly pathetic.
"You're brother is a celebrity, if he hasn't been seen in a while, he'll be considered missing whether you accept it or not. So, when was the last time you spoke to Rin?" The Detective spoke as she took a seat, to her right, the officer took meticulous notes, occasionally glancing at the computer screen in front of him.
The words landed like nails. Sae didn't flinch, he wouldn't give her that satisfaction if these people want to waste their time then it's on them. "It was over a year ago, during the U-20 world cup, in the locker room. I told him to stay out of my way. Guess he listened. After that we didn't have much words exchanged" The bitterness rolled off his tongue like venom. To be frank, he and Rin hadn't exchanged words since ages, Sae believed Rin was in rebel phases and needed space so he gave his little brother some space not that he ever bothered to close that distance. Not that he ever considered it a distance.
"Sae... That was five years ago" The Detective murmured.
The last U-20 world cup had ended with Japan's loss to France in the finals, but Sae didn't care. He had got to play against Spain, bash a certain Rabbit's face in and that was good enough for him. Japan's defeat had left fans bitter, and everyone in Blue Lock felt the same way, maybe Rin had too, not like Sae gave a shit.
His mother's hand fluttered to her chest, eyes wide at her son's words. As a mother she couldn't believe it, she raised them together under the same roof, gave them the same love, her kids were so close and now her eldest son, her pride and joy was saying such things with ease. "Sae—"
"What?" He cut her off, eyes sharply narrowed as his emotions began to boil. "Even if this is an unnecessary interrogation, we're supposed to be straight forward" His father squeezed his glossy eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose, shoulders stiff with tension and the weight of worry. His mother just lowered her gaze to the floor, at a loss of words.
The Detective leaned forward, she had seen her fair share of arrogant people who pretended not to care, only to break down horribly in the end, "Honesty is useful. Spite isn't." For the first time, his gaze snapped to hers—an unspoken challenge, dull bluish grey against vibrant turquoise. She didn't blink and neither did Sae. He hated that calm, that restraint, because it mirrored everything he was reduced to or maybe he was simply born this way, there's no point in finding excuses.
He wanted to talk back but seeing the depressed look on his parents, he held himself not wanting to make things worse for their sorry self's. The detective now began speaking , Sae only half-listened, he already knew the facts: Rin hadn't been seen in forty-eight hours, last spotted in a café at 11:27 p.m. Phone recovered, switched off, no signs of struggle. Witnesses? None worth naming. CCTV footage? Blurry enough to mean nothing just like this case. Evelyn opened her notebook and spoke, her voice smooth, authoritative, and weighted with quiet experience. "I need to ask you personal questions about your brother Rin. Anything you can tell us about his state of mind recently, friends, routines, anything unusual—it could help us locate him."
Sae's lips curved into the faintest smirk, which was more irritation than amusement, every clue they had was useless and somehow these officers believed a simple conversation could prove to be valuable? when their own cameras and security failed them? "State of mind?" he echoed, voice clipped, almost sharp enough to draw blood. "Do I look like a psychologist? I can't read minds."
Her eyes didn't flinch; they merely narrowed, the corners crinkling subtly with restrained vexation or was it warning? "I don't need you to become a psychic. I need facts. Observation. Patterns. Details you may have noticed but dismissed. You're his older brother and you may know things we don't."
Another moment of silence passed, the detective glanced to her partner, Mitsuki, the male officer only shrugged in return as they gazed at the broken family in front. Truth to be held: none of them had an answer to that, they were simply never paying close attention. Every single person in the Itoshi household was involved in their own lives, His parents had their job, Sae had his own goals and Rin... Well, Rin must have had his own life too?
This case was going to be a drag and they all knew it.
But this silence can turn victims to suspects in the eye of justice so remaining gagged wasn't an option, it never was.
Sae's eyes narrowed as he gripped the edge of the table a little too tightly, knuckles turning white from the pressure "Observation, huh?" He leaned back, letting his gaze sweep over the officers in a slow, measured assessment. "Fine. he's dramatic. He likes attention. He's useless at soccer, fragile, prone to... what do you call it—overreacting. That's all he is."
The parents didn't speak, they didn't need to, their expressions the faces of two people already convinced this was their punishment. Sae didn't look at them, he didn't want to associate himself with people who believed that Rin was missing. His mother's shaking hands, his father's vacant stare—they gnawed at something in him he didn't have the words for. And words had always been Sae's enemy, hadn't they? He knew how to score goals. He knew how to leave. He knew how to tell his brother he was worthless, unnecessary, a weight better cut off. He did not know how to sit in a police station and take serious responsibility.
Sae has been responsible throughout childhood but as years passed, that responsibility achieved a whole new meaning: indifference.
He'd left Japan at a young age, carrying his ambition like armor. And yet here he was, back. Standing in the country he'd abandoned, summoned by a boy he'd claimed not to need.
Evelyn slid a file across the desk. Photographs. Grainy stills of Rin in motion. Sae stared down at the boy on paper. He hadn't realized until that moment how long it had been since he'd really looked at him. Not as the bratty shadow that had trailed after him. Not as the rival who'd cursed his name across the pitch. Just Rin, his younger brother. The photo showed him leaving the café, head bowed, hands buried in his jacket like he was carrying a weight no one else could see. Sae's lips pressed together, his parents' expressions grimed further while the Detective's remained calm.
These people were using mere pictures to support their delusion of Rin being lost, great.
"He's alive" Sae said finally, more like a question then a statement.
Evelyn studied him, as though measuring whether he deserved the truth, she didn't like pressing people with burden nor lifting them with false hope, so the officer decided to speak. "We don't know, since no body has been found yet. He is assumed alive."
Sae leaned back, expression unreadable, he knew this was a mistake but Rin's living status being discussed like he could be dead was weird. The only sound in the room being the silent sniffles of his mother and the sound of his father's hand rubbing her back in slow soothing motions. But the buzzing lights above seemed louder now, as if mocking him and for the first time since he'd stepped into the room, he wished they'd go out completely, plunge the whole place into darkness, so no one could see the look on his face.
The Detective spoke again, from the start. "Itoshi-kun, You've spent years with him in the past if not recently. You can notice nuances, a last conversation. Something unusual in his behavior. I need anything concrete. How was his behavior after the U-20? anything in the Locker rooms?"
All eyes fell on him, from Evelyn's steady gaze, to Officer Mitsuki's calm eyes and finally to his parent's somewhat hopeful eyes. "Nuances?" he repeated, voice low, almost venomous. "You mean his little pathetic rants? Crying over weakness? Threatening to quit whenever things don't go his way?"
"Exactly." Evelyn's tone was calm but her eyes sharpened, now holding him in a quiet, steady trap. "Because if that's all you see, you're blind to what really matters."
The words boiled his already over-heated blood, Sae literally raised Rin instead of their useless parents and he knows his brother better then anyone and these strangers had the nerve to call his judgement blind? Leaning back again, exhaling slowly, "And if I am blind," he said finally, his voice roughened with visible irritation, "what makes you think you're any less blind? You haven't met him. You don't know him. You're the same as the rest of them—who think they know everything."
His parents eyes shot to him, his mother's glossy eyes went hollow, as if sucked out of it's last piece of life and his father? He bristled at his son's demeaner, giving the officers a quick look of apology before lowering his gaze to the ground.
The Detective tilted her head slightly, unshaken, her expression impossibly composed. "I don't need to 'know him' like you do. I need to find him alive. And for that, I don't need sentimentality, I need clarity and if your brother is in danger, you will help, or you will regret it."
The word "Danger" did it's effect, Sae could feel how his father winced and how his mother nearly gasped, pressing a hand on her mouth to muffle the sobs that threatened to spill all over again. The words cracked something in Sae—not fear, exactly, but the familiar, biting awareness that people refused to believe Sae's clarifications that Rin wasn't missing. He clenched his fists, nails pressing into his palms, and ground out, " Fine, I care. I care that he's a fool who runs around thinking he's stronger than he is."
His parents knew that Sae was harsh with his words, but they hoped that he was a good person deep down but still it hurt. It hurt that their son was so cruel, it hurt that hey couldn't do anything about it but it also angered them. Sae wasn't a child anymore and he should know how to behave.
This situation was a fucked up stew of emotions, all brewing at once, so damn many that no one knew how to handle it.
His mother turned to him, a sharp intake of breath. "Sae! That's not—he's your brother! Your family!"
Sae didn't look at her, he couldn't meet her eyes. "Family," he repeated dryly, almost like a bitter joke. "We're not bound by titles. We're bound by capability. He failed and that's it. If he's missing, it's because he wanted to be."
His mother gripped his hand behind the table, hold tight and unyielding as if asking him to take those words back. His father shook his head with disappointment, glaring at Sae with silent fury. Sae didn't knew what he was even thinking at this point, his mind was a mess, his tongue was a mess, he was a mess. Evelyn leaned forward slightly after exchanging glances with Ofc.Mitsuki, voice dropping. "Do you really believe that? That he went missing voluntarily? And if he did... why are you still here?"
He swiftly diverted the topic, not willing to answer personal-deep talks that threatened to fuel his angered flames. "Now, do you have anything useful to say, or are we just trading pleasantries?"
"Useful," Detective Evelyn said slowly, "The evidence we've gathered: CCTV footage places Rin leaving a café two nights ago. His phone was left behind. Credit card use stops there. Someone else—unknown—was in proximity. You might know people he met recently, or places he went after that. That's all the concrete I have."
Sae didn't knew a thing, who Rin met, who were his friends, Sae didn't knew shit about it.
His Mother cleared his throat, carefully placing her hands atop the table, voice whispering but firm for him to here, "Sae... I know your upset, we all are but... please. Speak carefully. For him. For us." Sae ignored the admonition, shoulders stiff, he didn't knew what to say or when to stop, the fact this false case was still going on was making his control slip. "Careful?" he spat. "I've been careful my entire life. Do you know what it's gotten me? Nothing but a worthless little brother blaming me for everything. He disappears, and suddenly it's my problem."
The officers sensed the familial tension, this wasn't just a family, it was a tangled web of broken bonds and left over spaces, sighing, the Detective spoke. "Rin's probably still alive somewhere. We are not wasting time here, you're simply running out of it, if we don't act soon... You might never get your brother back."
For all his hatred, all his detachment, the thought of Rin out there alone in a bad way was suffocating. He winced at the way it was spoken, as if there's a chance Rin might never come back.
If playing along their stupidity will end this sooner so be it.
.
.
.
.
The interrogation ended about a few minutes ago. The hallway was painted in shades of beige and exhaustion. Officers walked past in measured strides, the weight of routine heavy on their shoulders, clipboards tucked under arms, murmured voices echoing and fading like tides. Sae sat on a bench pushed against the wall, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped loosely, then tightly, then loose again. Across the hall, his parents leaned over a counter, signing forms handed to them by a tired-looking clerk. Their heads bowed, their movements deliberate and fragile. Consent forms, missing person reports, technicalities he couldn't be bothered to learn.
The world buzzed around him, but Sae's mind was no longer anchored to it.
He let himself wander—unwilling, uninvited, but unavoidable.
Back, back to years when Rin was shorter than the couch cushions, when those wide green eyes would fix on him with something close to worship like Sae hung the sun. Like Sae could do no wrong. Like being in his orbit was enough... A boy trailing after him through the quiet streets of their neighborhood, tugging on his sleeve, gasping every time Sae scored in a scrappy match. "Nii-chan, you're amazing." Words so pure, so heavy now in memory they felt like chains.
When had that gaze shifted? When had awe turned into bitterness? Was it the first time Sae dismissed him, called him weak, told him the biter truth. Maybe it was later, when he left for Spain, leaving that half-baked kid staring at a closing departure gate. Or maybe it had always been inevitable. Sae only spoke facts and Rin was simply too frail to face them. His hand rose, pressing against his forehead, fingers digging into his temple. He wanted to tear the world apart for putting him here, in this sterile hallway with its buzzing light and murmuring officers. He hated Rin for disappearing, his parents for being so gullible, the police for being bothersome. But in the end, the person he hated most was himself for even leaving Spain to come here.
Heat burned in his eyes as his vision blurred and teal went glossy. Not tears, just rage. Just enough to smear the outlines of officers moving past, enough to blur the sterile light above until it fractured into white streaks. He ground his teeth and forced his breath steady, unwilling to give in to weakness where anyone could see.
He wasn't crying, he was seething. Sae dragged a slow, ragged breath through his teeth, forcing steel into it. If this was his fault, then so was the ending. He would fix it. He would claw Rin back from whatever hellhole he'd slipped into, so he can give Rin another reality check, tell him to stop creating problems for Sae.
It all narrowed into a single, brutal vow: Find Rin and teach him his place
He would find Rin—whether Rin hated him, rebel phase, cursed him, wished him gone, it didn't matter. If Rin wants to be gone then at least do it without involving Sae and not a silent disappearance to make Sae clean up after him. No one else would decide how this ended. Not Rin, not the police, not the media, not their parents, not the world, nor fate.
Only Sae will decide this.
And God help whoever stood in his way.