I’ll Come Back For You

A Reflection on The Poetry of Finnick Odair

By: Fulvia Cardew

July 4, 85 ADD

Today is the day that used to be known as “Reaping Day” and is now known as "Remembrance Day”. Remembrance Day is a time to reflect on the memory and tragedy of the 1743 young lives that were lost to the atrocity that was the Hunger Games. Today, however, I am going to break that tradition slightly. I’ll reflect instead on the memory of someone who did not die in the Hunger Games but whose life was irrevocably altered nonetheless.

It was twenty years ago today that Finnick Odair volunteered for the Hunger Games. Twenty years since a child, not even old enough to drive a car, made the decision that would shape the rest of his all too short life. Finnick would come to be known as many things: teen idol, sex symbol, victim, rebel, martyr. Few really knew Finnick, though, and while I did work with him on a few occasions during my time in District Thirteen, I would certainly not count myself among that number.

Naturally, there are thousands of hours’ worth of footage of Finnick. The vast majority of this is highly staged and gives very little idea of who Finnick actually was (and yes, I’m including most of the propo footage we recorded for the rebellion in that). There are also numerous blog posts and even a few books attributed to Finnick. As it happens, several of these were ghostwritten by one of my college classmates. Needless to say, they don’t offer much in the way of true insight. There is, however, one written work which I have on good authority (namely, that of Johanna Mason) was penned by Finnick himself. If you’re over the age of ten, you’ve already heard the work I’m referring to. You’ve likely never given it any real thought, though.

I’m speaking, of course, of the poem Finnick recited during his interview prior to the third quarter quell. It goes largely forgotten since it was thoroughly overshadowed by the pregnancy revelation a few minutes later, but in those few minutes, it really caused quite a stir in the Capitol. This was the exchange leading up to the recitation of the poem.

Finnick Odair: I have something I’d like to share. A poem I wrote for… someone. Someone here in the Capitol.
Caesar Flickerman: Someone? A lover, you mean?
Finnick Odair: *laughs* Something like that.
Caesar Flickerman: Well, you might have to be a little more specific. I think you’ve got quite a few of those.
Finnick Odair: There’s only one person who I truly love.
Caesar Flickerman: Well, you heard it here first, folks. Finnick Odair is in love. I think we all must hear this.

Finnick then proceeded to recite a poem, which at the time was taken by most as a transparent attempt to manipulate his many lovers into sponsoring him in the arena. Well… it should have been transparent, but Finnick was so good at what he did that it worked. Everyone in the Capitol who had ever so much as spoken to Finnick was suddenly convinced that they must be the one true love he was talking to. They were all delusional, of course, but it’s all too easy to be a little delusional when it comes to Finnick. It was a subject of much debate. Who does Finnick Odair love?

Then, a few days later, we got the answer: Annie Cresta, a girl who, at that point, was known primarily for being mad. This answer was so very disappointing to some that they mostly chose to just ignore reality. That became harder a few months later when Finnick starred in the rebellion’s most infamous tell-all propo. A few weeks later, he married Annie on live TV, and the entire country saw a love story for the ages.

When most think back to Finnick’s poem now — if indeed they ever do — they assume it was Annie for whom the poem was written. Certainly, she is the person whom Finnick was referring to when he said that there was only one person whom he loved. There’s one issue with this assumption, however — namely that the poem in question isn’t really a love poem at all.

Here is the poem in its entirety. Finnick never specified a title for it, but most publications refer to it either as “Secrets in the Dark” or “I’ll Come Back for You”. Personally, I prefer the latter.

No more am I the boy who first you met;
Your hands shaped me, the man I would become;
You changed me ways I will not soon forget;
To love like yours, how could I not succumb?
The time was short, I had to spend with you;
Still, when I close my eyes, I feel your lips,
The things that make me shudder when you do;
I feel it all: your hands, your mouth, your hips.
Our love is whispered secrets in the dark,
A ghost that stays with me in light of day;
The priceless gifts from your lips left a mark,
You gave me that which I can not repay,
And at your touch, you know I can’t say no;
Remember me; I’ll come back for you, love.

So first things first — this is structurally a traditional Shakespearean sonnet or very nearly so. There’s one notable exception, which I will get to later, but in general, it has the structure. No, the meter isn’t perfect iambic pentameter, and the communications major in me wants to analyze in depth all the minor irregularities and what the intent behind them might be. However, I have to remind myself that the author was a man who never finished the eighth grade, and it’s therefore entirely likely that these small variations weren’t intentional at all. It’s still quite an impressive effort, particularly considering Finnick’s well-documented difficulties with reading and writing. (District schools prior to the war lacked resources to diagnose and treat learning disabilities, but it has been speculated many times — and in my opinion is almost certainly true — that Finnick was dyslexic.)

A sonnet is perhaps the most traditional form for a love poem to take. But wait, you say — I thought you said this wasn’t a love poem? Well, it isn’t really, but it is designed to appear as such on the surface. Following the traditional sonnet structure helps to give that impression. It’s true that the second quatrain takes a far more literal approach rather than the more traditional metaphorical one, “I feel it all: your hands, your mouth, your hips”, which is a far cry from “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” This difference can be chalked up to the modern sensibilities of the audience, though. On its surface, this is a traditional love poem with a somewhat more sensual, sexy tone. There’s a sad, mournful undertone, but that could very reasonably be attributed to Finnick’s sadness at his separation from his “love” and probable imminent death.

But that’s just on the surface, though. If you take Finnick at his word — and in this instance, I do — this poem was meant for someone in the Capitol, not Annie Cresta. With that context, the poem takes on a whole new meaning. It’s not a love poem at all; it’s a victim speaking to his abuser. With this in mind, every line takes on a dark double meaning. At first glance, the opening quatrain reads as positive personal growth driven by love, a figurative transformation from “boy” to “man”. With the added context, you realize that Finnick is speaking about lasting harm caused by the abuse he experienced as a literal child. Likewise, in the second quatrain, when he recalls the feeling of the subject’s touch, it takes on a tone of fear and disgust rather than arousal. In the line “The time was short, I had to spend with you”, Finnick uses the “had” in the sense of “was obliged", not “possessed”.

The third quatrain is the most interesting in my opinion. This is traditionally where you would have the “volta” or shift in tone. At first glance, there’s no such shift; Finnick continues speaking about the abuse he experienced (“whispered secrets in the dark”) and the impact it had on him (“a ghost that stays with me”). But wait — didn’t Finnick famously collect secrets from all his abusers and feed them to the rebellion? Why, yes. Yes, he did. The “priceless gifts from your lips” are not kisses; they’re intelligence collected by the rebellion’s best informant. It’s here that Finnick shifts from recounting his experience as a helpless victim to oh-so-subtly hinting at his revenge. Revenge, which he considers insufficient (“You gave me that which I can not repay”).

Now we get to the final couplet. This is where there is a significant break in the traditional structure, one that I am quite sure is intentional. The traditional rhyme scheme for a Shakespearean sonnet is ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG. Finnick follows this scheme to the letter with just one glaring exception; the last two lines do not rhyme. Why? To find out, let’s dig into those last two lines.

The first reads as a very clear accusation, the most outright in the entire poem. Even if you're reading it as a love poem, that line still reads as rather obsessive and unhealthy. The next and last line is perhaps the most confusing, though, because it is difficult to read as anything other than positive and hopeful. Finnick is telling someone, referred to as “love”, that he will come back for them. This is the most commonly cited line for those supposing that this must be a love poem meant for Annie. Why would Finnick promise to come back for an abuser? Is he maybe talking to Annie in just this one line?

No, I don’t think so. I read “I’ll come back for you” not as a loving promise but rather as a threat. It’s Finnick’s promise to complete his revenge. But then why the word love? The word love, which shouldn’t even be there because it doesn’t rhyme with the previous line. Well, I propose that the poem is actually meant to end with a different word — a word Finnick couldn’t say because it would announce plainly to even the least analytical minds that this poem isn’t the romantic gesture it purports to be. Finnick’s poem is meant to end with the name of the person he is vowing revenge on — a name that happens to fit the rhyme scheme perfectly.

And at your touch, you know I can’t say no;
Remember me; I’ll come back for you, Snow.