Chapter Text
Bakugo did not wanted to think, because if he does he will remember, and if he remembers all this years will go shit. The whole process he went through to get over him, to forget him, all of that to go straight to shit just because he had the damn misfortune of finding him? Fucking stupid.
Katsuki doesn't want to remember him, he wants to forget him, chain him up in the back of his mind like he's been doing until now. It's pathetic how his whole world fell apart the moment he saw him. He thought everything was going well; he had new friends, good friends. Of course, sometimes the kids from Aldera messaged to congratulate him on his achievements at UA. He remembers one time Miri texted him and they spent the whole afternoon chatting about how each of their classmates' lives were going, but not a word from Karige. Ashikari. Nobody really knew about him anymore. Not like they did before.
Ashikari was always carefree, he didn't care about others opinions, he was damn rude and loved to smoke or take any kind of drugs, if Katsuki had a bully reputation, Ashikari was a thousand times worse. Deep down, Aldera always knew he would end up being a criminal. Which was ironic, since Katsuki was his best friend, a future hero. Weird duo. They somehow worked, they used to.
He kept asking Kariage to quit drugs, to think about his future, to be a hero by his side, to have an agency together with Deku. Katsuki couldn't stand watching that boy slowly destroy his life and no one around him doing anything. The teachers turned a blind eye to it, not to mention those times when Katsuki plucked up the courage to ask for help for the boy, “We’ll talk to his parents,” but that was just worse. Those pieces of shit didn't care, they weren't interested in him in the slightest. Shit, it was thanks to them that Ashikari got into all this drug stuff in the first place. Would there be any change? No. There never was.
He really hoped that wherever he was, he was okay. Free of worries and able to take care of himself.
“Hey, ‘suki. How have you been?”
The memory, the stupid bar full of shit, drinks spilled everywhere, the filthy floor, and the walls that feel like they might break at any moment. The stupid sounds of happiness made by villains, his kidnappers, the smell of cigarettes that was both disgusting as comforting and nostalgic. The situation continues to spiral in his head, like a tick attached to his skin, slowly sucking his blood. A worm eating his entire brain, without even letting him formulate some way to avoid it, to attack it so that it leaves his brain alone and get it out of his skull. Just remembering it makes him nauseous, disgusted, in conflict with himself. Because once he heard his stupid voice there was no going back, hearing it reset his brain completely, felt like he was turning off and just sailing brainless. Now he doesn't know how to continue, how to navigate, how to keep living. How to get him out of his mind.
He can't understand how this happened, he refuses to accept it, he wants to ignore the outside world and decipher the internal dilemma that has appeared inside Katsuki. Part of him wants to believe that this isn't Ashikari, it's just someone extremely similar to him, who dresses the same, acts the same, has the same haircut, with those dark eyes that always had Katsuki getting lost in them, shining so bright when looking directly into his own, resembling stars in the dark of the night. And the other, more rational, judgmental, He knows that he is, that he helped in his kidnapping. Probably helped plan it. He genuinely found it repulsive how Ashikari could have done something like that, how he spoke to him as if it were nothing, as if it were a completely normal reunion. As if he hadn't kidnapped him. Because after all, Katsuki still thought of him as his friend, even with all the shit he said to him, even after calling him a thousand names and telling him he would never be anyone and it repulsed him. Because he cared about Ashikari, and no words could change that. But then again, this was different. He can't keep calling Ashikari his friend, not after this. Not after going against everything his parents taught him, everything he believes, everything he's supposed to stop. That which must be eradicated, that from which he must protect the people he cares about. Those whom All Might has always fought against. Who he dreamed of fighting since he was eight.
He simply can't.
“Bakubro?” The sound of the soft voice snaped him out of his thoughts. “Hey, are you okay? You've been spacing a lot recently.” Kirishima says to him, and although he wants to hide it, his face reveals intense concern.
Katsuki hates it. He doesn't need pity, much less from someone as Shitty Hair.
“Yeah, its nothing. Don't mind me.”
And as if Kirishima's voice was a switch, his senses returned, his consciousness returned to his body. That's when he realized where he was and why; classes. end. five minutes. bell. He blinked a couple of times, trying to focus only on the boy in front of him, only he mattered, he had to.
“Y’know, you should join us... ”
Kariage sits in front of him. Suddenly Katsuki has the need to run to him, to hug him tightly and not let go, for all the years he didn't know about the boy, for all the years he missed him and pretended not to, To look him straight in the eyes, caress his pretty face and slap him in an instant, for the shit he did, for worrying him. To grab his black hair and run his hands through it like he used to do before. But he can't; his hands are restricted. He's a little grateful; he definitely wouldn't be able to resist if he were free.
“You saw how they treated you. How everyone thinks of you, then why not prove them right? If they want a villian, give them one.”
“Bakugo.“ Switch. The voice, once again, brought him out of his thoughts. Perhaps Kirishima was talking to him and he didn't realize it because he was thinking nonsense. But it wasn't Kirishima. Who was speaking to him now was Aizawa Sensei. Great.
Sigh. Mentally preparing himself for whatever Aizawa wanted, he looked around, realizing that right now there was no one else in the room but him and Sensei. Oh, and Kirishima waiting for him outside.
He didn't say anything.
“I've noticed you've been thinking about something lately.” Aizawa walks towards Katsuki's desk, stopping right in front of him. “Is there anything bothering you? You weren't yourself this week. Dissociating in the middle of classes is not like you, the same in training, there is huge lack on your part, and you are not like that.”
"...“
Neither of them says anything; they both know this conversation is coming out more like a scolding than what it should be. Not like Katsuki cares. But Aizawa does.
Because he needs Katsuki to trust him, trust him enough to open up to him. To tell him what's keeping his student worried.
“You know you can tell me anything. If... something is not right, or talk about what happened during your time with the League of Villains.”
Goddamit Aizawa. Too straigth forward.
"Nothing happened."
He knows Aizawa doesn't believe him. They've been pestering him about it ever since he got back, especially now that they have their own dorms. All day long, someone has to act "brave" and ask him. He always says the same thing. Nothing happened. It's no big deal. Fuck off.
"Don't lie to me, Bakugo."
"I'm not."
“Look. Whatever happened, you won't have any consequences, you know that. If you tell me or any of the UA staff, we can help. We can get you a therapist. We want to help, I want to help you. So let me.”
Katsuki icked, his stomach twitched just thinking about how fucked up this whole thing is. Feels disgusted and nauseous , he doesn't know why tho. Nothing even happened, he doesn't understand why he's so obsessed with this, or why his teacher seems so focused on getting him to talk. He just... needs more time, to think of this and a possible outcome.
He doesn't need anyone behind him.
"I'm serious, those bastards didn't do anything to me. If they had, I would have ripped their asses off myself."
Sensei didn't seem convinced, but he trusted Katsuki. He sighed and, after a few seconds that felt like years, nodded. “Okay, I trust your words.” He walked slowly to his desk, letting Katsuki breathe. “Just know I'll be here. You may now go. He’s waiting for you.”
They both looked towards the small gap between the door and the wall, behind it leaning against a wall was red hair, not spying, no. Patiently waiting for them to finish.
He stood up from his seat his hands instinctively reaching for his pockets, he headed for the door, stopping dead in his tracks. “I...mm.” He hesitated . “I get it. No need to worry too much, old hag.”
They stared into each other's eyes, neither moving. The palpable silence didn't bother him; maybe he could stay like this for the rest of his life; it was definitely better than thinking about—.
Then it broke.
“Very well.”
Finally, he opens the sliding door and finds Kirishima. Closing the door behind him.
Perhaps he can leave the topic for another day, he just want to listen to whatever this idiot says right now.