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In hindsight she should have listened to the woman at the gas station she should have got on the train at Sheridan, she would be with her husband by now or at least safely on her way to him rather than slowly succumbing to frostbite. God she had known how Spencer's mother died and she still got in that car and drove to her death. Alex had felt guilty for all of a heartbeat as she took the stockings off Hilary's frozen legs, taking her coat and gloves too before pushing her body out of the vehicle, unable to bring herself to sit in the car with the body of her friend.
She made an inventory of perfume and whiskey in the coat pockets, she could see Paul's body in the snow not far ahead of the car and knew he'd have a lighter she would need that. She took his coat and socks also, she could figure this out, she would not die there so close to Spencer. She wouldn't be a body that would never be identified, she would not let her husband go the rest of his life not knowing what happened to her or about their boy she was growing.
Alex tore the seats apart, everything that would even possibly burn was set aside to feed the fire she planned on starting the windows cracked to not smoke herself out, this might not be a good plan but it was the best plan she had right now. The train tracks were right next to the road there was bound to be a train soon, probably the very train she should have gotten on, she just needed to stay warm enough to prevent frostbite, the pile of letters that she carried from Africa to Montana mocked her, she would not burn those unless she had to for now the fabric needed to be enough.
As bundled as she was in the few too thin blankets they had brought, and both Hilary and Paul’s coats, layers of socks and stockings, Alex sat by the small fire moving her fingers and toes determined to keep as much blood flow as possible. She heard the train before she saw it, and then she did an insane thing and lit the car on fire, it was the best hope she had to get out of this alive. She ditched her extra layers they were in her way and more to burn, and when the fire took over the car she waved at the train passing too quickly to stop for her and she crumbled by the burning vehicle, the letters in her coat pocket, at least they would be able to find Spencer and tell him what happened whenever she was found.
Her husband’s frantic voice screaming her name came across the wind, of course even heaven would tease her with the idea of being able to reunite with him, only when Spencer’s voice got louder did Alex realize it wasn’t wishful thinking, Spencer was there running towards her from the direction of the train. My god she could have been with him already if she had just gotten on the damn train, she took off at run crashing into his arms with a choked sob, somehow his shoulders were even wider, his arms bigger but he was hers and he was here.
“How are you here?” her hands ran from his shoulders down his arms, she couldn’t quite believe he was real.
“You sent smoke signals to my train,” he pressed his forehead against hers, cradling her face like he had thought he would never have the chance to touch her again.
“You leapt from the train?” she wanted to kiss him, wanted to tell him about the baby, to keep his hands on her for the rest of her life.
“I leapt from the train," he kissed her then, firm and warm and so real she couldn’t possibly have dreamt him up.
“Did you, by chance, ask the train to wait for us?” Their lips separated but they didn’t part, they stayed there sharing the warmth of each other's arms. She had so much to tell him and while Spencer was a man of few words she knew he must have a story on how he was just getting to Montana also.
“No, it slipped my mind,” he told her, sounding a bit sheepish and she couldn’t help but chuckle.
“So good of you to join me in this pickle, free from the burden of a solution," she had missed teasing him so much. The slightly confused look on his face had her smiling widely at him, cold as she may be in the middle of nowhere, she was home in his arms.
“I don’t know what that means," he picked her up bridal style, starting to walk in the direction the train had disappeared into.
“It's an insult, my love, meant for my amusement" she burrowed her face into his neck dropping a kiss on his racing pulse.
“Big Timber is three miles, I've carried an elk quarter farther, we’ll get there,” he dropped a kiss to her head.
“I have no idea what an elk quarter is, but I assume it is very heavy and a testament to your swarthiness,” the small quirk of his lip was her reward and she caressed his cheek.
“Heavier than you but not by much," he teased her back and she gave him an indignant look.
“That is your fault you know, I suppose he’ll be tall like you,” well that hadn’t been how she planned to tell him about the baby but it got the point across.
“Really?” His face was lit up like a little boy on Christmas morning, and this was all she had wanted to be able to tell Spencer that he was going to be a father.
“Really, I'm hoping these pains are just the cold and not that he’s trying to come meet you already,” she had been ignoring the cramps there wasn’t exactly anything she could do about it.
The train was coming into sight, clearly someone had seen Spencer when he leapt to save her, “There is bound to be a doctor on the train darlin’ and we aren’t far from home, it's all going to be alright.”
He still didn’t put her down, walking towards the train as it came ever closer and eventually stopped and he was able to carry her onto the train going to a sleeping cabin that he obviously had not been using. He was right, of course he was, and a doctor was summoned to the room to check on her.
“Just in time I’d say, no frostbite, temperature is a little low but nothing that won’t come up being in the warmth. She wasn’t disoriented when you found her? Saying things that don’t make sense?” Spencer had been opening a blanket to wrap around her and stopped to look at the doctor.
“She does that anyway" “I can hear you, you know." Spencer smiled at her as she teasingly glared back at him before cracking a smile and holding out a hand for him to come sit with her.
“Husband, come here," there was no where she would be warmer than in his arms and she was not willing to spend more time out of them than she already had.
“How many months are you?" The doctor asked as Spencer wrapped her in the blanket tucking her into his chest and she was immediately warmer than she had been since Africa.
“Six, I think, it's a little hard to nail down a date,” Spencer smothered a laugh into her hair and she just smiled, patting his arm, her cheeks hurt from smiling.
“The female body is a miracle and especially when pregnant, the labor might stop, that is out of our hands at this point, but you’re young,” that was not quite the answer Alex had been looking for but thanked the doctor as he left the cabin leaving her alone with her husband.
“You hear that, my body is a miracle,” he had already pulled her into his lap, arms wrapped tight around her.
“Oh I already knew that darlin’,” and there was that smile of his and it still had the ability to stop her heart. She nuzzled into his hold, getting nice and warm between the blanket and his body heat. She would appreciate that she married a human furnace living in the cold like this, and it was almost April she couldn’t imagine how cold the real winter must be.
“Are you planning on telling me how you got here?” He asked into the comfortable silence that had taken over their cabin. “I was coming for you after this, you didn’t have to go through this journey alone.”
“I wasn’t taking the chance, what if you met someone else? How could I kill her from England?” she had leaned back to be able to look at him, a sight she had almost accepted that she would never get to see again.
“Never darlin’, you’re it for me,” he told her as he cradled her face in his strong hands again. She leaned into the touch, her eyes closed and hands gripping his shoulders again.
“It's a long story and you aren’t going to like it, but you’re much later than I expected you to be getting here so you must have a story too.” She finally told him, eyes opening to see the pain in his eyes that told her he could see the shadows in hers that had not been there when they were separated.
“Alex," he was going to apologize, she couldn’t let him.
“Hey it was my plan, and its not your fault, everything lands in the lap of the man who killed your brother, we’d still be on our beach if John hadn’t been murdered and you are here to take care of him. I told you I would follow you to the ends of the earth, and here we are together again,” his hands had left her face and moved to her small but there bump.
“Our boy,” the love in his voice told her everything she would ever need to know. They were safe, no matter what was coming their way when they got to the ranch, she and their baby would be safe, Spencer would accept nothing else.
“I want to name him John," she told him, her hands now on top of his as their boy kicked at his parents.
“It's perfect, you are perfect,” she preened under his praise. He glanced out the window and stiffened under her, “stay here I will be right back,” he put her on the bed and grabbed his pistol. "Don't get near the window,” she nodded, unwilling to stress him out as he was clearly going into what he expected to be a fight.
The gunfire that filled the air not long after his exit had her itching to look but she wouldn't risk any more harm to the baby since the cramps had not subsided and she was sure that unfortunately their boy would be joining them far too soon. It felt like hours had passed before the sounds of the fight stopped and the door to the cabin opened again to her husband and an older man.
“Alex, meet my uncle Jacob," she was across the cabin and in Spencer's hold again in a heartbeat, her hand out to shake Jacob's. “You two are going to Bozeman, you both need to see a doctor and I have a fight to finish, I'll be there as soon as I can be."
“War is not a metaphor in this family I see," she told him shakily.
"It is not, and if you want to make a life here I need to go fight this one, but we can make a life anywhere,” he meant it and she could tell, he would leave this war and his family behind right now since he had her in front of him again.
“Go, we'll meet in Bozeman, I expect you in one piece," she told him, fondly trailing a finger down the side of his face.
“I love you," he kissed her deeply and then he was gone, and she was alone with Jacob Dutton who until a minute ago she expected to be dead.
“It's wonderful to meet you Jacob, the letter we got from Cara led is to believe you would be gone by the time we got here, and we certainly didn't get to take a direct route,” she was still wrapped in the blanket brushing her wild curls out of her face catching a last glimpse of Spencer who tipped his hat to her just like he had the day he almost left her behind. She tipped her imaginary one back and mouthed ‘I love you’, this may not have been the way she meant when she told him she would meet him in Bozeman while they rowed him away, but here they were.
“I wasn't expecting Spencer to come home with a wife, so I guess we're both pleasantly surprised," Jacob told her with a kind smile.
"I suppose we are, dare I say I think Spencer is going to come home with a wife and a newborn to surprise Cara with,” Alex's pain was getting worse and she knew that the baby was coming whether she liked it or not.
“You don't look far enough along to be in labor," Jacob started before stopping himself and she laughed slightly.
“Oh I'm not, however I don't think this one is listening to me, I'll have to have his father have a talk with him,” she joked as Jacob led her to the seating car where the sheriff was sitting waiting for them, the doctor checking on his wounds. The rest of the trip to the Bozeman station went by in a blur Jacob filling her in on all that had gone on since Cara’s letter had been read in Zanzibar.
They were in an ambulance before she wrapped her mind around all of it, much against her wishes she was delivering her boy without Spencer, Jacob however was there and demanded the doctor give her the baby, she didn't care if he only lived an hour he was made in love and he would know love if it was the only thing she could give him. Spencer showed up an hour later, not even a hair out of place, walking into her room where she held John against her chest, so small but already a fighter.
“They tried to throw him away like garbage, come look at him, my love,” she held a hand out for her husband, eyes never leaving the small boy on her chest.
"I see him darlin',” Spencer told her in a choked voice as he laid down next to her his hand coming to rest on top of hers. He buried his face in her hair for a moment before he wrapped her and John up in his arms, she burrowed her face into his neck for a handful of heartbeats, in this moment her entire world was in that hospital bed, whole and so far against all odds, healthy.
"He's so small,” it came out as a whimper and she tried to rein in her growing panic, Spencer was here now, she didn't have to be strong. His hold on her tightened, as if he could hold the broken pieces of her heart together by force of will, but his unsteady breathing below her showed he was just as worried about their boy.
"He won't be this small for long, he's going to be tall like me, remember? He's tough, like his mom,” she let out a choked laugh through her tears.
“You mean like his dad," she told him, her hand not holding John, she never imagined she could hold her baby in one hand, wrapped around Spencer's bicep.
“Like both of us darlin’, he's tough, it's in his blood, you'll see, he'll be running us all over the ranch by this time next year. Nice of him to not make you share your birthday," he remembered her birthday through all of this, she would never be able to understand what she did to deserve this man.
They'd laid there in silence for a while, listening to John's breathing, the cry he gave when she tried to get him to nurse sounded stronger than before and Alex felt hope growing in her. He seemed to nurse at least some, before all three Duttons fell asleep in the hospital bed, together despite every attempt of the universe to keep them apart.
Spencer woke the next morning to John fussing on his chest, he had taken him from Alex in the night so she could get more comfortable, curled into Spencer's side, her head on his shoulder, warm and breathing and whole and what more could he dare ask for. His boy was a fighter and clearly wanted to live, his wife had survived untold horrors to return to his side and he was home at last, as soon as he could pull himself from the bubble that was the quiet hospital room where he knew his family was safe because he was holding them, he would go kill Whitfield and avenge his brother. His wars would finally be done, and he could run his ranch and grow old with Alex watching their kids grow up on the land his family had poured so much blood into.
John's small noises turned louder and Spencer couldn't help but smile as Alex nuzzled her face into his chest, a little whine slipping past her lips muffled into his skin, “I think he's hungry darlin'." He pressed a kiss into her hair moving to prop them all on the pillows, his world staying wrapped in his arms as Alex took the small boy from him giving him a tender kiss before settling in to let him nurse.
“Won't live an hour," he heard the annoyance in her voice, “this hospital has obviously never dealt with a Dutton." Her tongue was still sharp and quick and one of his favorite things about her, no matter what she went through, and he would find out eventually, she was still his Alex at her core.
“That is all thanks to you sweetheart, we're all here by your force of will," he couldn't help himself and buried his face in her hair, his arms still around her, a hand on their boy in her arms, their fingers tangling together over his back.
“It was all worth it, this is worth everything," she pressed into Spencer's chest and he felt another piece of his soul healing.
“You absolutely are darlin'," he told her and when she turned her bright smile at him he knew he would give her the world all she had to do was ask for it.
“I love you," she said it like it was the most obvious fact, like there was no world where she didn't love him.
“I love you, both of you," a knock on the door he still recognized as Cara’s interrupted him. “Come in Aunt Cara, you have some people to meet.”
Cara entered headed straight to Alex's side to look at John immediately while Jacob followed her in but stayed by the door looking grim, “time to go handle business?”
“They found Jack, dead, it's high time we end Whitfield too,” Jacob told him and the air left his lungs for a moment before Alex's hand in his pulled him back.
“Go, we’ll be right here, maybe they’ll let us go home after this,” Alex pressed a kiss to his jaw her thumb rubbing his hand.
“We’ll work on getting them released while you men are gone,” Cara told him with a firm nod as she took the baby from Alex so she could wrap her arms around his waist.
“I love you,” he cradled her face, a light touch of their foreheads, forcing himself out of the bed and across the room to grab his coat and hat. He turned at the door one last look, Alex was smiling at him before turning to Cara to respond to a question about John and Spencer turned following his uncle out of the hospital and to the car, he would be back quickly and he would take them home, he would do what he set out to accomplish when he left Africa and then he would live.
The supposed guards that Whitfield had were a joke, and the whore that tried to stab him was handled easily enough, the monologue between Jacob and Whitfield was more drawn out than Spencer would have liked, he just wanted this done. The message the world would get out of this was that Spencer was home and the Duttons were not to be trifled with, that message would be told regardless, and while the bullet to the brain was a quicker death than the man deserved Spencer had no patience left to draw it out.
He walked towards Alex's door and could already hear her laugh along with Cara’s, and he was in for it, those two would gang up on him and Jacob he was sure, Alex was dressed sitting in a rocking chair that had not been there when he left. Her eyes met his as soon as the door was opened and he didn’t think twice before he crossed the room in 3 long strides to kiss her like he didn’t think he’d see her again, “Cara has threatened the doctors so you need to take us home before they change their minds my love.” She sounded so happy and it was almost enough to make him forget the blood that had just been added to his already bloody hands, Alex because she knew his mind better than he did some days, understood his silence, merely tangling their fingers together and standing pressing close into his chest.
“Home, that sounds wonderful,” he told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, his eyes finally finding his aunt and their son in her arms.
“It’s a long overdue homecoming Spencer,” Cara told him with a small smile on her face.
“It is, although I think the delay was worth it,” he told his aunt as he looked at the woman in his arms that he never would have had the chance to cross paths with if he hadn’t stayed away. His parents dying, the war, all of those things while terrible had put him on a path to finding Alex and he wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant losing her.
“I can’t help but agree, and we did decide you needed a new job baby, ranching beats hunting man eating lions for your poor wife’s stress levels,” Alex teased up at him, her hands grasping his coat.
“Guess you have a cowboy instead of a hunter for a husband now darlin’,” the flash of fire in her eyes, that they couldn’t act on yet with Alex having just given birth, promised that the only titles that mattered was husband and wife.
“As long as I have you I care little for what the rest of the world calls you,” this woman and her love had healed him in ways he never would have thought possible. He led her out of the hospital an arm around her waist, their boy back in her arms, Cara and Jacob following getting in a second vehicle giving the little family the chance to drive home alone, the ranch, the land was no longer a noose around Spencer's neck but now the place that promised him a happy future, where they all would be safe and happy for the rest of their lives.