Chapter Text
Seungmin looked around. Everyone was cheering.
Jeongin was the first to pick his roommate, and without a second thought, he chose Chan. Well, it made sense. The night before, when Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin were playing in Felix’s room, the youngest had already voiced his choice. He’d said it was because Chan didn’t have a lot of belongings and would probably tolerate Jeongin’s shopaholic and hoarder tendencies. Both Seungmin and Felix had nodded in understanding, not commenting on how Jeongin had blushed and smiled.
Seungmin was happy for Chan, too. Their leader had a tendency to sometimes forget to take care of himself, but with Jeongin around, Chan wouldn’t be able to resist Innie’s persistent care.
Hyunjin finally decided to live with Changbin, the latter over the moon with the younger’s choice. Seungmin bit his lower lip as he felt Felix stiffen next to him. Without looking, Seungmin reached out to Felix’s thigh and squeezed it just enough to keep the older grounded.
Then, there was Jisung hugging Minho, both giggling and laughing. Their eyes curved into thin lines that showed their happiness. Seungmin felt his insides grow hollow. Of course Minho chose Jisung; they’d always said they were soulmates. And they were. This was expected. Even though he had deliberately told Minho that he wanted to share a house with him just before the voting, he hadn’t expected to be chosen. Still, he’d held out a little hope because of a memory – Minho once said he wanted to live with Seungmin more than anyone else in the group. But of course, that was a lie.
The pit in his stomach grew deeper the more he looked at the couple. He felt bile rising, vomit threatening to spill. So he looked away – looked to his right, to Felix, his best friend. He was met with sad, knowing eyes. And Seungmin realized – this was Felix, who always chose him first, even by cheating, even when everyone wanted the sunshine embodiment. Felix, his best friend who was always ready to catch him. And yet, he’d always been looking for someone else.
Looking into Felix’s eyes, they came to an understanding. Gratitude and promises unspoken but evident. The promise that they’d always choose each other became clear. They smiled, a reassuring smile, before Felix broke into a huge grin and opened his arms for a hug. Seungmin smiled too, hugging Felix tightly.
They knew they were probably not each other’s first choice. Heck, they couldn’t even cook together to save their lives. But I promise to always choose you and stick with you for as long as I live, Seungmin vowed in his head.
As he was hugging Felix, Seungmin’s eyes darted to Minho and Jisung. He caught Minho’s eyes, filled with emotions Seungmin couldn’t quite pinpoint. His stomach churned again, though he was sure he wasn’t hungry.
“It’s okay, Minnie. We have each other,” Felix said, probably feeling him stiffen in the hug. I should focus on Felix. I should focus on who I have.
Trying to forget the confusing gaze Minho had given him, Seungmin hugged Felix tighter and shifted so he couldn’t see Minho and Jisung anymore. Felix’s warm body welcomed him, but then Seungmin caught Hyunjin’s eyes and suppressed a sigh.
The others finally noticed that Seungmin and Felix were roommates and started laughing.
“Yah! Don’t set your dorm on fire!” Jisung called out, laughing hysterically with Changbin.
“I’ll frequently visit with Channie-hyung so we can monitor you both,” Jeongin joked, though Chan nodded in agreement. Despite the fond smile, Chan was probably already planning how often he’d check on the puppy-kitty dorm.
“Innie-ya, who are you kidding? You just want to play with us,” Seungmin replied, ignoring the scratch and bile in his throat as he smiled.
“And we’re not that bad, Jisungie,” Felix added. “I can bake, and Seungminnie can cook.”
“But not together,” Changbin chimed in, making the group laugh.
“We can just take turns cooking,” Felix pouted. Seungmin nodded and wrapped an arm around his best friend, almost hugging him, to stop the others from teasing them further. He could feel Felix growing more sensitive.
“And we can always just order takeout if things go wrong. No need to worry,” Seungmin said in their defense.
“Okay now…” Chan spoke up to calm the group. “The staff has our things ready in the car. We’ll be leaving in groups of four. Since our dorm is near Seungmin’s and Felix’s, we’ll go together. The four of you will take the other car. This will be our set-up starting today.”
“For all the activities?” Hyunjin asked, his expression darkening.
“For all group activities,” Chan replied. “For better efficiency. But if necessary, or if we have solo schedules, changes will be made. Shall we go? We still need to unpack at the new dorms.”
A few shouted in agreement while others nodded and headed to the cars. Seungmin glanced one last time at Minho and instantly regretted it. Minho had his arms around Jisung, who was excitedly singing about moving. Seungmin quickly looked away, scolding himself. He shouldn’t feel this way toward his members – they were his members.
Felix tugged on his arm, pulling his attention back to his old-new roommate. They smiled at each other, the mutual understanding still there, and followed Jeongin and Chan to their car.
Their things were already loaded, though Seungmin noticed how cramped it was.
“Yah! You really brought the whole house with you, Innie-ya!” he teased, making Felix and Chan giggle.
“Hey! Felix owns half the bags!” Jeongin protested before climbing in.
“Why are we rooming with hoarders?” Chan sighed, making Seungmin laugh. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Minho glance at them, but it was brief. Seungmin got in after Jeongin.
The car ride was calm. Chan drove, Felix sat in the passenger seat controlling the playlist, and Seungmin and Jeongin sang along. Occasionally, Chan reminded BokSeung to take care, like a parent sending a child off to college, earning snickers and teasing from the three.
They reached their dorm and saw the other car park nearby. Honestly, the dorms were close, just a few blocks apart, but as Chan had explained, this arrangement was better for efficiency.
And for my sanity, Seungmin thought, the bile in his throat still present despite the genuine laughter during the ride.
Chan helped them carry some things inside, since Felix had overpacked, before heading off to help Jeongin. Felix and Seungmin quickly unpacked their rooms. Since Felix had more bags, Seungmin helped him.
“We’re almost done. Should I order dinner now?” Seungmin asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Felix replied while sweeping his floor. “Should we clean the kitchen and living room too?”
“Maybe tomorrow,” Seungmin said, already feeling tired. “But I’ll sweep them a bit so they’re clean when the food comes. Is kimchi jjigae, chicken, and rice okay?”
Felix hummed in agreement, and Seungmin stepped out to order. After placing the order, he began sweeping. A notification startled him – it might be important, so he checked. He quickly regretted it.
Group Chat
Chan:
So, how are you guys? Are you done cleaning up and arranging yourselves?
Jisung:
Yeah! We’re done. Minho-hyung’s so efficient.
*photo attached
Jisung:
We have everything! Pans, kitchenware, dishware.
We even have a coffee maker and an oven.
Changbin:
Whoa! Looks like a perfect love nest for the soulmates!
Changbin:
Anyway, Chan-hyung, we’re almost done too.
Just finalizing where Hyunjin’s art supplies will go.
photo attached
Chan:
Oh! That’s so cute! You have a mini gym too!
Changbin:
Yeah, so I can work out here when I can’t go to the gym.
Minho:
Back to the topic
Why were you asking, Chan-hyung?
Are you guys finished already?
That’s surprising, considering how much of a hoarder Jeongin is.
Jeongin:
Heyyy!! I’m not as bad as Felix-hyung. I’m better at unpacking.
Hyunjin:
I’m sure Channie-hyung helped you, Innie-ya. Hahahaha. We’re done here too!
Chan:
Then let’s all eat out together. It might help us get familiar with the neighborhood.
Jisung:
Yeaaaahhh! Minho-hyung and I will be down in a minute. Just locking things up here.
Hyunjin:
And Binnie-hyung is just locking up our home too. I’m waiting for him. We’ll be down in a minute.
Chan:
How about Felix and Seungmin?
Jeongin:
Seungmin-hyung has seen our messages. Hyung? Are you and Lixie-hyung okay?
Seungmin:
Yeah, we’re fine.
But I don’t think we can go with you guys.
Lixie’s not done unpacking, and I’ll be helping him clean up and arrange things.
We haven’t even started on the kitchen and living room
Felix:
Hey! Jeongin, it’s not nice to lie. What do you mean you’re better than me?
Also, yeah… we’re not done here, so Minnie and I will pass for tonight.
Don’t worry about us, Channie-hyung. We already ordered food.
Seungmin stopped reading and went back to sweeping the kitchen. But the photo Jisung had sent kept flashing in his mind.
The coffee maker.
The same one he’d used so many times to make Minho’s morning drink. How many cups had he brewed with that? He had assumed it was accidentally left behind during packing. He thought he’d at least have that machine – it wasn’t as if the others ever used it. It had been his. He wasn’t the sentimental type, but he’d attached memories to that coffee maker. Memories of mornings. Memories of Minho.
And now it sat in Minho and Jisung’s kitchen.
It felt like a slap. A reminder that he would no longer live with Minho. That he hadn’t been Minho’s choice. That no matter how much he’d hoped, Minho never chose him.
It hit him again, sharp and cruel. He had known it from the start – had felt it the moment he’d met Minho. He loved him. He had never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly, nor so fluttery around anyone else.
His throat tightened. Vomit rose in his mouth. He bolted to the shared bathroom, locking the door just in time. Seconds later, his body gave in, releasing the contents of his stomach from the entire day. His vision blurred with tears.
When it was over, he wiped his eyes, trying to steady himself. His stomach still churned, threatening another wave. He opened his eyes to flush the toilet – then froze.
Red.
Red blood.
Red petals.
Red.
He stared for what felt like minutes until a knock at the door pulled him back.
“Seungmin-ah,” Felix’s voice called, laced with worry. How long had he been knocking?
“Lixie,” Seungmin croaked, trying to mask the weariness in his voice.
“Are you okay? I’ve been calling you and you didn’t answer.”
“Sorry, I was… taking care of some business,” Seungmin said lightly, forcing playfulness. “Nasty business.”
Felix chuckled. “Come out. Our food’s here.”
“Yeah, sorry for worrying you. I’ll be out soon; just cleaning up a bit.”
“Okay, I’ll prepare the food. Come out soon!” Felix’s footsteps retreated.
Still dizzy from shock, Seungmin quickly took a photo of the petals. It was disgusting, but he felt he needed to document it, for some reason. Then he flushed, scrubbing away any trace of red.
His mind was a whirlwind. Petals in the throat… He’d seen this before – in the manga Jisung had shoved at him, in the dramas Hyunjin made him watch, even in fanfiction Changbin had recommended.
Hanahaki. The disease where flowers grew in the lungs, brought on by unrequited love. Left untreated, it could be deadly. The only cure: reciprocated feelings.
Seungmin laughed bitterly. This was supposed to be fiction. Why was it happening to him? Just another reminder that Minho would never love him back.
As far as he knew, no real cases existed. So was there any cure? Certainly not one that applied to him; not when the only solution was something he had already given up on.
Even as he scrubbed the bathroom, his brain refused to accept it. His body had just coughed up flowers. His heart pounded between disbelief and the desperate urge to find a solution to something that shouldn’t even be real.
“Seungmin! Kim Seungmin! Let’s eat!” Felix’s voice echoed through the door.
He did one final sweep of the room, erasing every trace of petals and blood, and shoved the thoughts of Hanahaki deep down. Then he stepped out to join his best friend.