Chapter Text
Jackass Inertia: The tendency to revert to previous patterns of acting like a stupid asshole after a brief improvement in behavior.
That’s the phrase you had come up with to describe your boss’s recent backslide. It had been about a month since your last big argument that culminated in him getting dominated hard enough for him to go out of his way to be considerate with you, and by now the Jackass Inertia had entirely set in.
It didn’t happen all at once; first, the little favors and peace-offering gifts started to dry up. If that had been it, you wouldn’t have paid any mind to it at all; it’s not like you were expecting those things in the first place. But then came the carelessness, like when he stumbled in front of your desk, splashed coffee all over the documents on its surface, and didn’t bother to help clean it up. Or when he helped himself to a slice of cake sitting untouched in the break room fridge that you had purchased out-of-pocket as a collective birthday celebration for that month. Or when he mumbled instructions at you in passing, did not stop when you asked him to repeat himself, and lost his temper when you later hadn’t completed his unheard task.
Even this you could forgive, or at the very least refuse to think about long enough for it to fester into an all-consuming desire for revenge. That all changed yesterday.
Over the past week you had completed what was undoubtedly your greatest achievement in your time as executive assistant. Driven to the brink of insanity by the employee contact directory, which represented thirty-plus years of increasingly disorganized and outdated names, titles, and phone numbers, you took it upon yourself to overhaul it in its entirety. You spent every available moment culling the entries of ex-staff, several of which were now dead, gathering new phone numbers and locations, and organizing each by department and sub-department. You had printed up nearly fifty copies of the finished product, meticulously assembled each into a three-ring binder, and replaced each one of the old directories with your newly revised version.
The next day was an administrative staff meeting; as usual, you’re taking down the minutes. Near the beginning, an unusually cheery-looking HR director addresses Mr. Tenna. “Can I just say, thank you so much for these new staff directories! I’ve been requesting a refresh for ages, and I can’t tell you how much easier it is to use this thing!”
“Staff directories?” asks Tenna, looking over his shoulder as he sets up a projector.
Someone from accounting pipes up. “Yeah, no kidding! That thing’s a godsend!”
Another voice from the back of the room. “Best thing you’ve given us in years!”
Of course, you had told him that was your main project this week, but he had already demonstrated multiple times that he hadn’t retained that information. Despite that, you were still half-expecting him to smile warmly over at you and say that [Y/N] had done such a good job with those, and he’d ask the room to say thank you, and you’d give a bashful smile, and you’d know—however briefly—that you had managed to do something that mattered.
He welcomes you back to reality as he stands up straight and puts on a wide grin. “Oh, THOSE staff directories!” he chuckles, adjusting his tie. “Yes, well… I know it might’ve been a bit overdue, but I just thought you good folks earned it!”
Your expression falls as he steps up to the large wooden meeting table. “Now, if you want more updates and improvements like that, I’m gonna need to see some numbers go UP, do you hear me?” he asks in a jovial tone that belies the gravity of what he’s saying. “If we can meet our Q4 goals, you folks can have all the directories you can handle!”
The room finds this oddly motivational despite how unlikely the prospect is. People are quietly cheering and chuckling, and suddenly they aren’t. The room is completely silent, and every single gaze is locked on you.
The harsh crack of splintering plastic registers in your brain seconds after it actually happened. Your gaze was locked on Tenna the moment that the mechanical pencil in your hand snapped uncleanly down the middle. Jolted back to total awareness by the silence and stares, you frantically clear your throat. “Oh. Oh dear,” you say monotonously, attempting to conceal your rage. “Seems like it broke.”
Tenna looks on in confusion. “It… broke?”
“No worries,” you say in a strained choke as you shove the broken pencil into your bag and pull a fresh one out. “I’ve got a backup.”
He shakes his head, perplexed. “Aaaaalrighty then. Anyways.” He turns his attention back towards the group. “I’ve got a REAL TREAT for you all today!”
Your co-workers look on in anticipation, made more optimistic than usual by your uncredited contribution.
He whaps a telescoping pointer against the wall as the projection mirrors his speech. “UPCOMING QUARTERLY PERFORMANCE REVIEWS!” The room groans.
Your ears ring with fury. The meeting minutes on the table in front of you cut off abruptly, but plenty more words fill the page. HE WILL PAY. HE WILL PAY. HE WILL PAY.
You stare up at the ceiling later that night, your eyes refusing to close as you contemplate your options for how to make him suffer. A petty prank would be too juvenile, and not nearly potent enough. Physical assault is probably off the table, both in terms of practicality and for the sake of not being thrown in prison. You got lucky that time you pulled the magnet on him; he liked it so much that regardless of your intent, you received precisely zero consequences from it.
Something occurs to you. He is willing to endure a nearly endless amount of humiliation and suffering so long as it satisfies a single requirement: it makes him horny. So long as you can execute your revenge in a way that turns him on, you’re untouchable. But then again, he’d almost certainly retaliate. Perhaps that occurred to you in an attempt to talk you down from the idea, but it has the opposite effect. You smile so widely, it makes your cheeks ache.
The next morning, you place a call. “Hello?” answers the voice on the other end of the line.
“Hello, this is [Y/N] calling on behalf of Mr. Tenna. I see that you’ve submitted a meeting request, and Mr. Tenna has some last-minute availability.”
“Oh, thank GOD!” replies the man on the phone. “I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been— When can I come in!?”
“Do you think you could be here ten minutes from now?”
“Yes! Yes, absolutely. I’ll be there.”
“Mr. Tenna requests that you show up precisely on time. That would be...” You glance at the clock. “9:30 AM. Please let yourself in when you arrive.”
“Got it! Got it, thank you!”
“Excellent! Goodbye.” You hang up the phone, cover your face, and cackle as quietly as you can manage. Once you’ve pulled yourself together, you stand up and head into Mr. Tenna’s oversized office.
“Mornin’, [Y/N]!” he calls as you step inside. “Glad to see you. I was just about to flag you down.” He pulls up a paper printed with today’s itinerary. “Do I really not have anything scheduled until after noon? I thought it might be a misprint.”
“Nope!” you say, grinning broadly at him. “Seems like you actually have the morning off for once.”
“Well, I’ll be! I guess miracles really do exist.” He sets the paper down and glances around the room. “Am I nuts, or is the AC extra loud today?”
“They’re doing some tests on the HVAC system,” you fib, having turned the fan up yourself in order to disguise any unseemly noises.
He shrugs, his total ignorance of building maintenance practices shielding him from discovering the lie. “Okay then. Did you need something?”
You shut the door behind yourself, pressing your back against it with a cheeky smirk. “I might.”
He perks up at your flirtatious tone, blushing slightly. “O-oh! Really! Well… what could that be?”
“You,” you say, struggling to keep yourself from laughing.
He spins around in his desk chair. “WELL! WE-E-E-ELL!!” he shouts before facing towards you again. “Just like you to make a good day even better. Get over here.” You take a single step forward before he frantically taps his hand on his desk. “Oh, wait! Look at me, getting all hasty. Lock the door for me, would you?”
You turn around, and in a single swift gesture, you lock the door before shifting it back just enough to prevent it from locking completely. You confidently turn around and stride up to him, his expression betraying no knowledge of your sleight of hand.
He eagerly adjusts himself to the edge of his seat as you press your body between his legs and run your hands up his thighs. “Mmmn…!” he moans as your hand makes contact with his cock. “A-aah…! Wow, you’re… you’re not usually this… forward!”
“I’m not coming on too strong, am I?” you ask, rubbing his growing erection as you grin mischievously.
“N-not at all— mmh!” His hips buck up as you stimulate the tip. “I— wow, I… I like you like this!”
“So you don’t like me all the other times?” you ask teasingly, leaning over to press your chest against his crotch.
“A-ah! No, no, I— I like you all the time!” he stammers, taking your question a little too seriously.
“I’m just kidding,” you say, kissing his stomach. “I know you do.”
“Well,” he gasps, slowly pulsing his hips against you. “What can I do for you, gorgeous? Anything you like.”
“I have a question.” You prop yourself up on your elbows, smiling at him playfully. “Do you ever think about me blowing you under your desk?”
He startles slightly, his expression falling as though he’s been called out. “Boy, have I,” he says barely audibly.
“Then that’s what you can do for me. Let me do that.”
“Holy shit,” he whispers, his mind swirling with grateful satisfaction that your first request was so centered on his own pleasure. The way this interaction was progressing is like something out of a fantasy. “I— I— Yes, yes, of course.” He glances down at the alcove beneath his desk and frowns slightly. “Um… How do you want to…”
“I’ll get some support.” You walk over to the side of his office and select one of the variously sized, shaped, and colored foam blocks, artfully arranged to disguise the fact that they were solely there for use as leverage during your encounters. He tugs his belt open as you set the block on the ground beneath his desk; it offers you just enough additional height to reach his hips while kneeling.
He rolls his chair up to you as you situate yourself on the block, trembling with anticipation. He looks down at you with a flustered smile. “Mmmnh…! What’s gotten into you today? And how do I make it happen more often?”
“Oh, you know,” you murmur, leaning forward to kiss the erection straining the fly of his pants. “Just keep being your wonderful self.”
He presses your head against him, misinterpreting the hateful undercurrent of your tone as an unusually potent lust. “Mhmhm! Whatever you say, darling.”
You slip your hands beneath his shirt as you continue to mouth at his cock. In spite of your overwhelming vindictive fury, you can’t help but enjoy yourself even before your vengeance is fully in motion. Even when you’ve reached your capacity of your hatred for him, you can’t bring yourself to hate this side of him that’s so eager for you at any opportunity. The way his huge cock pulses needily against your mouth, the pleasant cologne-metal-plastic-sweat scent that fills your lungs when you breathe in, the way he shivers and blushes and whimpers in response to your touch as if you hadn’t done this dozens upon dozens of times before.
You undo his fly and expose his cock, and it swings forward, poised in front of you as it twitches in anticipation of the warm, wet embrace of your mouth. He lets out a high-pitched moan as you run your tongue along the ridge of the tip, covering his mouth in embarrassment at his unmanly reaction. He takes a deep breath to get a hold of himself, and runs his fingertips across your hair with a shaky, flirtatious grin. “You know, I could get used to this. How about we move your desk down there?” he jokes.
“What if I said yes?” you reply teasingly.
“A-a-aaaah…!” he moans, bucking his hips up as you take the tip into your mouth, completely flustered at the mental image of getting to enjoy this feeling any time he wants. “Mmm…! I… I know you’re kidding, but… d-damn! I… I like the sound of that!”
You ease the huge girth of his cock into your mouth, your jaw straining at how widely you have to open to accommodate him, the roof of your mouth tickling with the staticky precum dripping from the tip. You begin to slowly pulse your head up and down, and he leans back in his chair, gasping and gently pulsing his hips to match your speed.
You work him until what you suspect is halfway to completion before slowly drawing him out of your mouth. He looks down at you, panting and dazed, his hips pushing up to encourage you to take it back in again. You laugh quietly. “You know, this is pretty fun, but…” You look up at him with a smirk. “This isn’t really the entire fantasy, is it?”
He goes rigid, his screen suddenly glowing bright red. “A-ahaha, uh… what do you mean by that?” he asks, feigning ignorance of the additional detail that he was imagining into the scene merely seconds ago.
You run a slow lick along his shaft. “Well… when do you usually imagine this kind of thing happening?”
“U-um. Um. Um,” he stammers, too embarrassed to admit the truth.
“It’s when you’re in a meeting you don’t want to be in, isn’t it?” You run your fingertips along his length as you kiss the tip. “You think to yourself, ‘wouldn’t this be better if [Y/N] was down there sucking me off?’ Am I right?”
“H-h-h-how did you know that?” he asks weakly, fearful for a brief moment that you’re capable of reading his mind.
You giggle. “Just an informed guess.” You undo the top few buttons of your shirt and press his cock against your chest. “Would you believe me if I told you I fantasize about the same thing?”
“Y-you do? Oh my god, you actually do?” he asks, his cock becoming so desperately needy that it almost hurts.
“Mm-hm,” you breathe, giving him another slow lick. “Isn’t that just the sexiest thing you can imagine? Me, carefully hidden away, working you slowly with my mouth. And you, enjoying that boring meeting far more than you would otherwise?”
He whines desperately as you take him into your mouth again. “A-a-aah…! Wow… I… T-that sounds… incredible…!”
You free your mouth with a slow, swirling caress of your tongue. “Mmm… why don’t we try it some time? And afterwards, you can fuck me over your desk as hard as you like.”
“H-holy… Nnngh, y-you’re… you’re really speaking my language!” he gasps, squeezing and releasing his fists as his cock becomes more and more sensitive.
You check your watch; the clock reads twenty seconds to 9:30. You laugh quietly. “Hehehe… You know what, actually, never mind. I bet the real thing wouldn’t be nearly as fun as you think.”
“Huh?” He looks down at you curiously. “Why do you say th—”
The doorknob clicks. In steps the hiring manager, carrying a manila folder in his hand. Tenna gasps and urgently pushes his torso against the edge of the desk. “W-wh— what!? Why— Hey!” he stammers, his heart rate elevating in panic. “Why are you—”
“I’m here for our meeting, Mr. Tenna,” the man replies flatly, stepping over to the chair in front of his desk.
Tenna inhales sharply as you take him into your mouth again. “Meeting!? Meeting, what meeting!?”
The man sighs, rubbing his face exasperatedly. “The one that your secretary called to arrange ten minutes ago.”
There’s a beat of silence. “My. Secretary,” he says monotonously, clenching his fists. “My secretary. Called you.”
“Yeah?” replies the man, looking confused.
“That’s great. I’m so. Happy to hear that,” says Tenna, gritting his teeth. “I’m so glad to hear. That my evil bitch of a secretary. Arranged this meeting.”
The man looks startled at his coarse, unprofessional language. “Wh— what? Why are you… Are you two fighting again?”
“You could say that,” he wheezes, his hands locked on top of his desk to avoid arousing suspicion.
“…Uh huh.” The hiring manager pulls out a sheet of notes. “Mr. Tenna, we need to discuss the contracts. The employee intake situation is becoming untenable. You understand that some people actually read these things, right?”
“Mmm,” Tenna hums neutrally, covering his mouth as your tongue swirls around the tip of his cock.
“Yeah, well, if every new arrival needs to sign these things, we’re gonna have to offer them something they’re actually willing to sign. And guess what! These people talk to each other! So if one person catches on that there’s something shady in the fine print, they’ll tell the others, and then we end up with over three-dozen people puttering around indefinitely in on-boarding, which is the situation that we’re dealing with right now!”
As the hiring manager continues to ramble about the employee intake backup, you slowly pulse your mouth up and down the length of his shaft, working your tongue against him in all the ways he likes best. Tenna stifles a whine as you repeatedly shift the tip of his cock against the ridge between your hard and soft palate, trying to quarantine his violent trembling to his legs.
He registers a moment of silence and opens his mouth for a generic, slightly strangled-sounding reply. “Mm-hm. Yep. Alright. Sounds great.”
The man sighs. “…What? Ugh… Mr. Tenna, were you even listening to me?”
“Yep! Yep. You, um…” His gaze shifts down to the man’s name tag, printed with his name and position. “You need help with. Managing the hiring. Because. That’s what you do.”
“Oh my god.” The hiring manager slouches over. “I’ve been trying to get this meeting set up for weeks, and now that I’m here, it’s as if you aren’t even in the same room!”
“TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES,” he wheezes a little too loudly as your hands wrap around the base of his cock.
“What?”
“S-sorry! Sorry, I— I mean… I have… problems!”
The hiring manager squints at him in confusion. “…Clearly.” His expression softens into one of concern as he sees the look on Tenna’s face, which he interprets as pain or discomfort. “Mr. Tenna, you alright? I’ve never seen your face this red.”
“I’m allergic!” he wheezes as you start to coax the tip of his cock into your throat.
“Allergic? Allergic to what?”
“I-i-in general!” Tenna interrupts himself with a loud, extremely fake-sounding coughing fit as you take him down much deeper than you’re typically willing; there’s no motivator for you to take your sexual abilities to the next level quite like spite.
It’s already a struggle to fit him as much as you are, but you force yourself down even deeper. Tenna’s fragile stoicism finally breaks. “A-AAAH! Aaah, aaah, aah!” he gasps, gripping onto the edge of his desk.
The man’s confusion continues to build. “W-what…? What's going—”
“I BROKE MY LEG,” shouts Tenna, pounding on the surface of his desk.
The man’s mouth hangs open. “…No you didn’t?“
“JUST NOW!” Tenna’s hand shoots under his desk, roughly grabbing your head and pulling you off of him.
“How on earth—”
“OW! OW! BOY THAT SMARTS.” His free hand points towards the door. “THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY SO I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.”
The man is too dazed to respond.
“I’LL BE SURE YOU’RE ON THE PRIORITY LIST FOR RESCHEDULING. SO LEAVE NOW.”
“Mr. Tenna—”
“LEAVE!!!”
“Do you need me to call someone—”
“LEAVE IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW RIGHT AWAY,” he shouts nearly incoherently, using his foot to pin you back against the alcove of his desk.
The man remains silent as he stands up and walks to the exit with an incredulous shake of his head.
“AND SHUT THE DOOR,” yells Tenna.
The hiring manager gives him a final flummoxed look over his shoulder before he steps outside and shuts the door behind him.
Tenna remains still for a moment, his foot pressing hard against your stomach and chest to prevent you from moving any further. He takes a series of deep breaths before he draws his desk chair away, staring down at you with a look of cold neutrality that he only ever uses when he is absolutely out of his mind with fury.
In a swift motion, he grabs the back of your collared shirt and hoists you into the air. He gets up, carrying you with him as he moves over to the door and locks it. He tests the handle three times before he pulls you up to meet his gaze, silently staring at you with barely-contained rage.
“Whoops,” you say insincerely.
He snarls and storms over to his desk. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT!?” he yells, slamming you face-down onto the desk and yanking open the top left drawer.
“That’s what you get for taking credit for my new staff directory, you brain-dead asswipe!” you shout at him over your shoulder.
“What the hell do you mean your staff directory!?” He pins your back down with one hand as he coats his cock with lube.
“As in the one I spent all week making, completely unbidden and unassisted, just for you to go and act like it was your idea— aaaAAAAAaH!” You interrupt yourself with a loud cry as he yanks your clothes out of the way and forces his huge cock inside.
“Y-you spiteful little shit!” he hisses, groaning quietly as he pushes himself into you. “I should have— I should have known something was up!”
“Nnghh— a-and… and yet, you didn’t! Just like I— mmnh! I knew you wouldn’t, you fucking dick-for-brains!”
“Shut your damn mouth!” he says hatefully, holding your mouth shut with his hand. You roughly bite down on his pointer finger. “A-aaaaaah!” he moans, more pleasured than pained, and starts to fuck you harder. “Y-you… you, I… I can’t believe you! You nasty, evil little sneak! You’re going to pay for that, you hear me!?”
“I— I’d like to see you try!” you goad, your voice muffled.
“Oh, I’m gonna make you regret those words,” he growls, his antennas falling back as he slams into you.
“As if you could— aaaAAAAAAAH!” You can’t manage to continue your back-talk as he pounds into you frantically, rapidly sending you towards the edge of climax.
You instantly go rigid as the phone on his desk rings. He slows his pace, his expression shifting into a wide, wicked smile. “Oh, what do you know,” he says quietly, lifting up the phone. “It’s for you.”
You grit your teeth in disbelief of your terrible luck as he holds the handset up to your ear. “T-this is the office of Mr. Tenna. He’s… unable to take your call at this moment.” You gasp sharply as he roughly slams into you. “C-c-can I take a message?”
“…Um…?” replies the voice on the other end of the line. “Uh… yeah. Could you let him know that—” The meaning of the remainder of their words is lost on you as Tenna fucks you frantically, gripping hard onto your hips as he draws himself in and out.
“Y-yep! Yep, absolutely!” you gasp, desperately trying to not give yourself away any more than you already have. Tenna smiles down at you mockingly. “I-is that all that I can do for you today?”
“Just one last thing. Are the Wednesday staff meetings going to be at their usual time this week? Or is it going to be in the afternoon again?”
“A-aaah!” You fail to suppress a cry as Tenna fucks you as hard and fast as he can manage. “T-that’s— I— I’ll get back to you about that!” You wrestle the handset away from him and slam it back down onto the base. As it clicks to shut off the call, you let out a loud cry, preventing the hapless co-worker on the phone from hearing your orgasm by mere seconds.
“Y-y-yeeeeEEEESSSS!” growls Tenna, the force of your pelvic muscles clenching around him causing him to immediately follow you over the edge. “A-aah! Aah, aah, aah, y-yes!” he chokes, your lower body tingling as his cum fills you up.
Both of you are still for a moment, shaky and panting from the onslaught of pleasure. Sometimes his mood is greatly improved after his climax hits, but as he draws away from you and re-situates his clothes, you can tell that isn’t the case this time. As he finishes buckling his belt, he sits back down at his desk chair, glaring at you silently. You smile. Even with that little last-minute turnabout, you know that you’ve won.
“Well,” you say smugly, grabbing a few tissues to wipe yourself off. “I hope that served as a lesson in proper attribution.”
He says nothing, his grimace becoming slightly more severe.
You slide off his extra-large desk and onto the floor, pulling your clothes back into place. “Enjoy the rest of your morning off! I promise I have no other surprises for you.” You glance over at him maliciously. “So long as you don’t act up.”
He opens his mouth to retaliate, and closes it again, furiously gritting his teeth.
“Well, unlike you, I actually have some work to do.” You dust yourself off and make your way towards the door. “I’ll see you around, Mr. Tenna.”
He breaks his stern silence the moment you place your hand on the doorknob. “[Y/N]!” he calls out, his tone undercut with rage. “I just have one piece of advice for you!”
You glance over your shoulder at him. “And what’s that?”
He weaves his fingers together, glaring at you intensely. “Don’t start things you can’t finish.”
You give him the most innocent smile you can muster. “Oh, don’t worry!” you say sweetly, your expression shifting into something slightly more sinister as you finish your thought, “I haven’t.”
A pulse of intense, mutual spite fills the room. He says nothing further as you open the door and slip back out to the executive lobby.
You sit down at your desk, chuckling quietly. You might’ve ceded a bit of ground there at the end, but you’re confident that both of you came out of that encounter with the understanding that it was indisputably a victory on your behalf.
Now all that remains is to await his retaliation. It’s nice to have something to look forward to, for once.