Chapter Text
“Okay let’s hurry this up, the cameras’ll be on any minute now. Makeup? Yep! My flawless appearance? Also Yes. Okay, last and nowhere near least, my hair ge-WHERE IS MY HAIR GEL?!” a vengeful Chris McLean shouted, putting the dozens of interns preparing to start the show in a frenzy.
A fearful intern ran up to him, carrying a (patent pending) Chris McLean brand hair gel. “H-here you go sir, s-s-sorry about the mix up” he finished, handing the host his desired treasure. Chris desperately put the substance on himself, rattling around in fear of the cameras turning on prematurely.
“ABOUT TIME!! DO YOU REALIZE HOW BADLY I NEED EVERYTHING TO GO THIS TIME AROUND?!” The host started, unaware of his interns taking his retrieval of the gel as a signal to start recording.
“THE PRODUCERS HATED THE LAST SEASON, CALLING IT ‘tonally inconsistent and lacking a theme!” he shouted, soon taking a breath, right before continuing on his tirade.
“THE THEME IS TOTAL MOTHERF****** DRAMA! ISN’T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!” the man continued, looking at the interns for some semblance of an agreement, only to be met in horror of a red blinking camera in his face, right as he began his rant again
“AND THANKS TO THOSE ASSHOLES WE ONLY HAVE THE BUDGET FOR ONE MORE—Aaaaaand we’re back!” Chris gawked at the recording camera, scrambling to save face.
The host quickly morphed his look of pure anger into a frightening smile he (and only he) thought looked comforting.
“Hello there, wonderful viewing world, it’s me! The host with the most–Chris McLean, and we’re here for the biggest! The wildest! The most insane season of Total Drama you’ve ever seen! So good that you’ll never want the show to end! EVER!” he finished, looking into the camera with confidence, trying to mask the embarrassment of being caught mid-crash out.
“What’s that? You want me to go further? Well too bad! You’re just gonna have to wait for the contestants to drop in…literally” Chris explained, letting out a small giggle, which soon evolved into mad cackling, much to the displeasure of the interns around him.
Chris looked back into the camera, letting his laughter die out naturally. As he stopped, a loud whirring was heard, causing his already wide smile to grow to unrealistic proportions as a small plane was seen approaching the island.
“Looks like you won’t have to wait much longer. Let’s meet our returning campers!” The host gleefully announced, pulling a walkie-talkie from his pocket. “Chef?”
The small plane began to stir violently as a large, burly man was seen ejecting from the front of the aeroplane, making it descend towards the island.
Chris looked eagerly as the plane crash-landed on the island, only a light jog away from the cameras. He went towards the crash site, as the veterans from the previous two seasons began to recuperate from their crash landing.
“And here they are now” Chris said, ignoring the bruises and sounds of agony made by the people in the wreck. He looked on at the site, honing in on the first person who made it out of the plane.
“Returning after his rocking victory in season two, it’s Wayne!”
“Rajie? Are you there Rajie?!” the first escapee of the scene said, running back into the plane to search for his missing partner.
Wayne soon after returned from the plane again, carrying Raj fireman-style. He gently laid him on top of a large rock, allowing him to wake up again.
“Also returning is his good buddy Raj. Well, good for ratings at least.”
“Ah, w-what? Wayner, is that you?” The delirious man murmured.
“Yeah Rajie. It’s me. You feelin’ alright bud? Wayne asked, concerned about his best friend.
“Oh you hmmpht know it bro” Raj grunted, pulling himself back up with minor difficulty.
The man soon jolted himself to stand up fully straight, stretching his back as he did so.
“Oh yeah Rajie! You know us Snow Owls never stay down–Hoot Hoot! Wayne cheered.
“Hoot Hoot!” They both celebrated. They held each other, Wayne keeping his shaking friend steady, until a look of realization hit Raj.
“Oh man! Bowie!” he exclaimed, panicked.
Raj scrambled off of Wayne and started sprinting back towards the plane, only to fall face-first into the ground.
“Wayner, is Bowie alright?!’ Raj mumbled from his spot on the ground, coughing out the dirt that entered his mouth.
The camera shifts back to the plane, where a groggy Bowie is seen escaping the death trap around him.
The man quickly spots his boyfriend on the ground, rushing towards him.
“Raj!”
“Bowie, everyone, the strategist turned heartthrob!" Chris’ voice projected as the camera shifted back to him.
“Oh how the mighty have fallen.”
“I can be both you know!” Bowie scowled, quickly turning his expression into one of concern for his boyfriend.
“You alright babe?” Bowie asked Raj, pulling him up alongside a now caught-up Wayne.
“I am now babe.” Raj responded, giving him a tight hug.
“Ugh I haaaate when they get all sappy.” Chris complained, praying that a new character would appear from the depths of the plane’s remains.
His look of annoyance turned to intrigue when he saw the next bunch of campers leaving the scene.
“And here we have lovable soda-drinking idiot Zee and clout-chasing Chase, being carried by the paranoid zombie survivalist herself, Axel!” Chris called out, making Axel drop the two boys in anger directed at the host.
“Paranoid?! Who are you calling paranoid?! Cause if you ask me, having us all on a remote island is just begging for us all to become zombie food!”
“Then why are you here?” Chris retorted, grinning widely at the look of sheer annoyance radiating off the survivalist’s face.
Frustrated, Axel flipped the man off, switching her attention to the now-waking up Zee, purposefully ignoring a groaning Chase.
“Are we there yet?” A groggy Zee asked, grabbing a soda from who-knows-where. He weakly opened the tab of the beverage, chugging it in one sitting.
“Aaaahhhh, that’s better.” Zee declared. He soon noticed his surroundings.
“Huh, guess we are here. Thanks, Axel, that must’ve been like a workout for you and stuff.” He noted graciously.
Before Axel could refute that Zee took note of Chase’s unresponsive body, zooming over to the boy.
“CHASE! Dude!” Zee cried, pushing his arms down on the boy’s chest, attempting to imitate chest compressions.
“Don’t! You! Die! On! Me!” He grunted, pushing down after each word. Chase had long woken up by that point, but his groans of protest were unheard from Zee’s frantic actions.
Axel then saw Chase’s eyes open and gently pried Zee off of the influencer.
“Ugh, get off of me dude!” Chase complained, pushing Zee away and getting himself off the ground.
Zee soon departed from Axel’s arms into Chase’s, giving the boy an (unwanted) hug.
“Whoops, sorry bro”
Confessional: Chase:
“Listen, I love Zee and all but come on! I was literally just in a plane crash! I swear that guy can be so annoying sometimes!” Chase complained, holding his chest.
He tightened his fists, and looked back into the camera.
“But I’m not here to question my friendship with Zee. I’m here for Emma. I’m getting real tired of this ‘will they won’t they crap’. I’m either gonna get the million or my hot girlfriend back, and nothing’s gonna stop me”
Chase took no time in squirming out of the lanky boy’s grasp, gasping for air.
“Good to see you too bro.” Chase forced himself to say back.
“Oh my god this is sooo boring!” Chris groaned, losing interest once Chase was no longer in pain. “Are you asking the producers to take away the little budget we have?!”
Chris motioned for the camera to switch perspectives back to the plane, where Julia and MK were helping each other get to the dock.
“Finally someone interesting!” Chris cheered, ignoring the “HEY!” from Bowie.
“The technological whiz MK and her annoying sidekick Julia are back!” Chris introduced the two girls to the camera, much to the annoyance of the latter girl.
“Sidekick?! Me?! I’ve been in soooo many more episodes than Mucky Kane over here. If anyone’s a sidekick it’s for sure her!”
“Oh, you did not just say that. Who’s the one that won most of the team challenges last season huh Buttknuckle?! Me! And did you forget…” MK protested, prompting both girls to get into a back-and-forth argument.
“This is what we’re here for” Chris smiled, grabbing a latte and popcorn from the hands of one of his interns, enjoying the scene.
But before the girls could get in a physical fight (which MK’s outstretched arm likely would have provoked), a set of big, burly arms got in between them, forcing space between one another.
“Come on now girls, I thought you were partners, you know, equals in every way?” Caleb interjected, attempting to calm the two girls.
“ Sigh , Caleb, everybody, the earliest boot turned finalist…turned buzzkill.” Chris announced dejectedly.
“Are you serious right now Chris? The season just started and you’re rooting for a fight?”
“You try living on a salary that’s dictated by the amount of views each episode gets, see how much you like it whenever an easy rating’s gold gets ruined.”
Caleb tuned the host out, turning his back from the ongoing argument between MK and Julia, which no longer seemed to go in the direction of violence, looking for a certain someone.
“Did Priya not beat me here?”
“Are you serious dude? You didn’t try to look for your girl in that mess?” Chris wondered in bewilderment.
“Well, no, but come on man–it’s Priya ! Knowing her she would have had her own parachute ready just in case this happened!” Caleb replied, struggling to mask his embarrassment.
Caleb was ready to go back to find Priya before he felt arms wrapping around from behind him.
“You know me so well haha.” The camera panned to Priya, who released Caleb from her grasp and walked with him to the rest of the campers.
Confessional: Priya:
Priya stared at the camera, a life preserver in her hands.
“Caleb actually wasn’t that far off, I just dove into the water when we were close enough. I saw Total Drama World Tour, and All Stars! That man is completely willing to drop people out of a plane. I just didn’t think he would actually take the plane down with us, which is why I didn’t tell Caleb. Or Millie–OH MAN MILLIE!”
Priya rushed out of the confessional.
Back in what was once a plane, Millie pulled herself off from the ground.
“Priya?” she called out, disoriented. She looked around before a zooming figure barreled into her stomach.
“Millie! I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you that Chris does these things!” Priya apologized repeatedly.
“Come on, let’s go!” The girl continued, dragging her to where the others were.
“Way to remember me too, Priya!” a voice called out, revealed to be Damien, who just recovered from the crash.
“Wow, just wow.” he commented, watching Priya and Millie leave him behind.
“I can’t believe they just left me like that.”
“I would never leave you behind Damien!” a high-pitched voice called out.
“Oh hell no!” Damien replied, furiously.
Confessional: Damien:
“Normally I wouldn’t be this mad, but be so for real, this is Scary Girl. Miss Tormentor of my life since day 1! Not this time, noohoohoo way.”
He grit his teeth, coming to a conclusion.
“I’m gonna end this right here, right now!”
“Listen here Scary cause I’m not about to repeat this.” He began, pausing to take a breath.
“You do not scare me anymore. I will not allow myself to get scared from you anymore, and it would be good to stay out of my way, unless you want me to pay you back for all you’ve done”.
Scary Girl stayed silent, staring at Damien.
And staring.
Damien was starting to sweat, but made an effort not to show it.
Until…
“Fine, your funeral.” she conceded, walking away.
Confessional: Damien
Damien was panting in the outhouse, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.
“That, *wheeze* was by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”
He fixed his posture, smiling. “But now I think I’ll have a better peace of mind…As long as we’re not on the same team.”
He froze at the possibility.
“ Please don’t Chris.” he squeaked.
Confessional: Scary Girl/Lauren:
“I’m done.” Lauren said simply. She looked like she was about to continue, but she stopped.
She stood up, about to walk out of the confessional, before a look of rage hit her, snapping her face back towards the camera.
“You know what? No! I don’t get these normal people. They hate me when I’m scary, they hate me when I’m normal, and they hate me before I even try to be either!”
She combed her hair with her hands, allowing her messed-up hair to go back into pigtails.
“Well, I’m done trying! From here on out, I’m just gonna be me, whether it’s Scary Girl OR Lauren. If people like me, then they like me. And if not..well it’s not like I’m not used to being the first to go.”
She moved her right hand towards her face, freezing when she started feeling something wet from her eyes. Lauren quickly looked away from the camera and wiped her face.
“Not like I want friends anyway”
“Well that was anticlimactic.”
Damien shivered from the sudden noise. “You could hear that?” he questioned.
Chris pointed at the camera pointed right at him, disappointed.
“Do you really think you’d ever be given a private moment?”
Defeated, Damien could only mutter a “I don’t want to deal with you,” and moved towards Priya, the only camper visible that he trusted.
Chris huffed, not enjoying Damien’s dismissal of him. “Welp, we don’t have all day, so let’s introduce the final three characters at once”.
The host pulled out a megaphone from his pocket, turning it on and clearing his throat.
“RIPPER! EMMA! NICHELLE! WAKE YOUR LAZY BUTTS UP AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM!! WE HAVE A SHOW TO START PEOPLE!” he shouted.
Loud clanks and groans could be heard as the three individuals left in the plane started shuffling to escape, with all three successfully leaving at the same time.
“Not perfect, but whatever. Now, without further ado, re-introducing the disgusting fart-enthusiast alpha male turned lover-boy Ripper, Emma, the woman so indecisive she makes me look committed, and Niche-EWW”
The three escapees paused at Chris’ sudden outburst, looking around to see what caused it. Ripper and Emma soon noticed and each held a gag.
Nichelle remained oblivious. “What is it?” she asked, growing anxious as she tracked their eyes to her.
“Oh no. SOMEONE GET ME A MIRROR!” she screamed, running towards the other campers in hopes of finding one.
She pushed past Ripper, Damien, and even Scary Girl, much to their collective annoyance, and found an intern applying makeup with a hand-mirror.
Nichelle ripped the mirror out of the poor intern’s hand and took a better look at herself, before screaming in horror.
“MY HAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRR!!”
Confessional: Nichelle:
Nichelle was crying into the camera, exposing her now-charred hair to the audience. It was a grotesque scene, with her hair being noticeably darker and dead towards the end of each braid.
“H-how could this happen to meeee?” she bawled, doubling down in tears as she started holding her once-perfect hair.
“Now I’ll never go back to Hollywood…” She lamented.
She continued to cry for a moment before her eyes hardened and her fists curled up into balls.
She stared into the camera, determined. “No.”
“Nichelle LaDonna will not allow this to ruin her performance this season. The only reason I lost last time was because I was tricked.” she screamed in frustration.
“I have nothing left to lose Julia. Come at me.”
As Nichelle was running towards the others, Ripper and Emma slowly exited the scene around them, catching up to everyone else, with Ripper being noticeably quiet.
“Well, that rounds you all up.” Chris joyfully concluded. “Welcome one and all to TOTAL! DRAMA! COMEBACK!” he shouted the name of the season, confusing the contestants.
But before anyone could ask questions, the host spoke up again. “Now, everyone follow me as we discuss the important matters of this season”.
“Ooh, like teams?” Ripper asked, wrapping his arm around Chase, who wrapped his arm around him back.
“Do we get to choose our own teams like last time?” was Priya’s question, already mentally calculating which characters would be the optimal teammates this time around.
“Oh Wayner, if that’s the case you’re a team captain for winning!”
“That’s right! Ooh ooh! I choose you as my co-captain Rajie!”
“Really?”
“Yeah bro, you’re my best friend.” Wayne answered happily.
“Wayner..” Raj cooed, giving him a hug.
“..Ahem.” Chris interjected, annoyed. “You all need to learn about patience. I swear all you teenagers are the same. Why can’t you be more like Owen?”
“Who?” Nichelle asked.
“That was the previous winner of the original Total Drama Island.” Millie replied. “You know, that really old season from waaaaaaaaay back in the day…” she continued, not noticing the twitch from Chris’ left eye. “I think we would’ve been what? Four back then? Wow. I never realized how old–” Chris forcefully shut Millie’s mouth.
“Zip it”. He waited, then let go of Millie. “From now on, when the host talks, you listen. Cause we got a lot to talk about, and we still have a challenge to do, okay?” he asked the cast.
He smiled when everyone’s mouth shut.
They continued walking for five minutes, stopping when they reached the set of cabins they have been using for the past two seasons.
“Finally” Chris muttered under his breath, then addressed the campers.
“Alrighty let’s do this. So as we’ve had our past two seasons, it’s been very easy for myself and the audience to see which ones of you are actually competent–and which ones are the Chases” Chris said, smiling wider at Chase’s pissed off expression.
“So, this season the teams will be based on a community poll we did on the official Total Drama website. It determined which eight of you were the most popular, cool, and radical, and which eight are just cannon fodder.”
He walked forward, where Chef was waiting with a red banner.
“Without further ado, let’s start with the actual good ratings traps. Can we get:"
"Priya” The girl expected to be called, but smiled nonetheless, walking to the banner.
“Bowie” The boy let go of Raj’s hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking over to Priya, both side-eyeing each other.
“Caleb” The muscular man was relieved to be called, especially after his disappointment of not being chosen early last season, and made his way to Priya, scooping her up in his arms, causing her to giggle and hug him back.
“Julia” Caleb and Priya’s moods immediately soured as their least favorite person walked up to their team, completely disinterested. “Was there even any doubt?” she asked.
“No, but there was hope” was Bowie’s melancholic reply, cracking up Caleb and (admittedly) Priya.
"Raj” Chris announced, causing the boy’s eyes to light up as he barrelled into his boyfriend, much to the shared disgust of Chris and Julia.
“We so got this Bowie! Now all we need is Wayne and we’re golden!”
“Speaking of–Wayne!” Chris bounced off of Raj’s statement, particularly enjoying the look of worry from Priya, Caleb, and Julia.
“OH YEAH BABY!” Wayne shouted as he ‘whoop’d’ his way to the couple. He put his shoulders around both of them before continuing. “With all three of us there’s no way we lose eh.”
“Yeah haha, no way.” Bowie muttered, staring at the calculating eyes of Priya and Julia.
Confessional: Bowie:
“Ohhh no no no, this isn’t good! Being together with Raj and Wayne is one thing–a great thing even, but being on a team with Priya AND Julia?! They are two of the best strategists in the game. Not to mention that Priya and Caleb being a thing means an alliance in and of itself. Things are even worse now that Wayne actually won a season! Now him and I are gonna be some of the biggest targets on the team!” Bowie shifted his position to clasp his hands, worried.
“How am I gonna get out of this one?” he asked himself.
He was ready to continue ranting before a loudspeaker from within the confessional blared.
“Are you done now William Worries-a-lot? We still have to finish the teams!” Chris’ voice was heard complaining.
“Ugh whatever” Bowie said, leaving the confessional.
Everyone watched as Bowie slowly returned to his team’s banner.
“Way to break the immersion Bowie” Chris complained, to which the man only gave the host the finger.
“Well now my mood is ruined. Whatever, MK go join their team.”
“Huh, I didn’t think I’d actually be one of the popul-”
“GO!”
“Okay, okay.” MK ran over to her team, only being met with Julia’s smile.
“Good to know this team won’t be entirely useless.”
“You should be lucky, without me you’d have been bored out of your mind.” MK replied.
“Oh please, this team’s got the best players to harass.” Julia commented, making both girls smile as they high-fived.
The rest of the team watched in horror as the most awful person they knew was openly being friendly towards someone else.
“And last and, honestly, in this team, probably least but it’s a lot better than the rest of you–Damien!” Chris announced.
“WHAT?” “Me?” and “HUH?” were the most prominent reactions by Nichelle, Damien, and Millie, respectively.
“You mean to say that Damien of all people is more popular than *me* ?” Nichelle asked incredulously.
“The numbers don’t lie Nichelle. Plus, he’s made it to the merge before, which is a lot more than what you’ve done.”
“Besides, who would even like you anymore when you look like that” Chris gibed, gesturing at Nichelle’s ruined hair, causing her to stammer in response.
Emma silently patted her on the back.
“Wait a minute.” Millie realized. “I made it to a merge too! I was even in a finale before. How come I’m not on the team with the best players?”
“Well let’s think about that Millie: How exactly did you get to the finale? Because we all know it wasn’t from your athleticism.” Chris said, enjoying the look of hurt on Millie’s face.
“Damien, meanwhile, didn’t need anyone to make it as far as he did, and even got an immunity idol, for all the good that did him.” Chris ended with a directed jab towards Damien, causing him to glare at Julia.
“Or who knows, maybe people just like him more than you.” he commented off-handedly.
Confessional: Millie:
“Is this about what I did last season?” she asked herself.
“I said I was sorry–Damien even forgave me!” she rationalized. “You know what? Fine. I can do this!” She declared. “...Without Priya” she realized, losing her confidence.
She pulled herself back up and slapped herself in the face.
“Come on Millie! Pull yourself together girl! You know this game now. You read Priya’s book, and you know how to win. Now all you have to do is put paper into practice and prove you’re better than Damien!” She cheered, before wincing at the last part.
“...Maybe I could have worded that better.”
“You eight will henceforth be known as: The Successful Squirrels!” Chris declared, blowing a horn that no one saw him get.
“Are snow owls and squirrels related?”
“I think so Rajie, cause they both like nuts and hibernate for the winter”
“None of what you just said was true” Bowie dully replied.
“Silence you nut eater.” Chris demanded.
Confessional: Bowie:
"That’s got to be homophobic."
“As for the rest of you–Emma, Chase, Zee, Scary Girl, Nichelle, Millie, Axel, and Ripper”
Chris gestured towards a green banner held by another of his interns.
“You are all the Malnourished Mealworms” Chris said, much to the chagrin of the team, except Zee, who was interested in the artwork
“EWW!” Millie screamed.
“Why are we malnourished?” asked Emma.
“Well,” Chris began. “The opposite of success is malnutrition.”
“No it isn’t!”
“Wanna test that theory in today’s challenge?” Chris countered, successfully shutting Emma’s mouth.
“Good. Now with the teams out of the way let me introduce you all to your cabins.” he continued.
“Um Chris? We already know where our cabins are.” Ripper sneered.
“Oh yeah? Fine. Guess you don’t want to know about the mansion then.”
“WHAT?” Was the campers’ collective response.
“What part of the best season ever did you not understand?” Chris gibed.
“You’re saying we all get to sleep in a mansion?!” Nichelle gleefully asked.
“Oh nonono.” Chris replied. “You misunderstand. Only the winning team will get to sleep there. It’s pretty amazing too, with a gaming room, mini-bar, and…” he paused.
“ Access to the internet ”.
Chris was successful in riling up his crowd. ‘Aha, still got it.’ he thought to himself.
“BUT!” he said, drawing their attention back to him. “You all have to use it responsibly. That means no adult websites, and no social media.” he finished, staring pointedly at Chase and Julia. “Understand?” he asked, receiving nods from the collective.
“Good. Any questions?”
Priya raised her hand.
“Ugh, fine. What?”
“Isn’t the mansion similar to All St–”
“WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT SEASON! THE VICTORY MANSION IS A BRAND SPANKING NEW IDEA AND I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO INSINUATE THAT IT ISN’T!” Chris yelled, face red.
He wiped his face, shedding the sweat that built up.
“Phew, freaked out a little there, but yeah, whole new idea.”
“..Oh-kay.” Priya simply replied.
“Well, since there are no more questions, and the Victory Mansion is for Victories only, you can all go to the cabins you’re used to. They’ll be labeled by the new teams and gender.” Chris concluded.
The campers all started to walk away.
“...Well, teeeeechnically there is one more announcement.” He smiled, holding up a golden statue of himself.
“This, is the *pre-merge* immunity idol.
Julia, Bowie, and Priya looked at it with stars in their eyes.
“Pre-merge?” Caleb asked.
“Yep.” Chris replied. This bad boy works just like the immunity idol from last season, except it can *only* be used before the merge hits. Afterwards, it becomes useless as my interns, so be smart about it.” he said, enjoying the campers’ collective attention.
“It will be hidden while you all participate in the first challenge, and will be the first of three idols hidden on the island.”
“Hold on, three?!” Chase asked eagerly.
“Correctamungo Bungo. There will be three idols this season. The pre-merge idol, the future post-merge idol, and a secret third one.”
“Ooh, what’s the secret third one?” Wayne asked earnestly.
“Well if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret now would it?”
“I guess not. Good thinking coach!” Wayne praised the host.
“...Okay, I’ve had enough. Get out of my sight, I need an aspirin".
The door for the Squirrel boys creaked as Bowie, Raj, and Wayne entered the cabin. They each dropped their belongings at the closest beds they could find, examining each bed to find the optimal spot.
Bowie and Wayne stared at each other, the silent question of Raj’s bunkmate weighing on each of them.
“I was with Rajie for most of last season, so if you wanna bunk with him Bowie, I won’t fight ‘cha” Wayne conceded.
Bowie’s eyes brightened, giving a soft “thank you” before dragging Raj to the bunks closest to the door
Wayne decided to sit next to them, laying his own belongings on his bed for the moment.
He was about to examine his items before he heard the door open again, revealing Damien and Caleb.
Caleb looked much more composed than Damien, but considering Damien’s completely unnerved appearance, it wasn’t much of an accomplishment.
Confessional: Damien:
“Of course I’m nervous, have you seen my team?! Priya and Caleb are together, so that’s an alliance off rip. Bowie, Wayne, and Raj are all great friends, which is another dang alliance!” Damien ranted.
He bit into his nails for a moment “My only saving grace is the fact that Julia and MK are also here. Julia is for sure the most hated right now, but she and MK are also bound to work together.”
He held out seven fingers to the camera.
“Every single person is in an alliance right before the first challenge even starts. You can really tell who doesn’t belong on this team, huh?” he laughed self-depricatingly.
Despite his awareness of the trio’s alliance, Caleb smiled at them, trying to create a positive atmosphere.
The hockey bros reciprocated the gesture, while Bowie continued to stare in a challenging manner.
Damien saw this and attempted to diffuse the situation.”Hey guys, how cool is it that this is our first time being on the same team huh?”
Bowie wasn’t interested.
Unfortunately for him, Wayne and Raj were.
“Oh dude, really?” Wayne asked, smiling. “Wow, you’re right. Well, now we’re in the best team ever together!” he cheered.
Raj continued the cheer, pulling Damien and Wayne in for a hug. “Welcome to the Super Team Damien!” he and Wayne cheered again, prompting Caleb to join in the celebration.
“I’m glad to be with you guys too.” Caleb said, apprehensively.
Wayne and Raj stared at him, causing Caleb to start sweating.
His worry was not necessary though, as Wayne and Raj pulled him into their group hug too, causing Bowie to groan and leave the cabin.
“Super team! Super team!”
Confessional: Bowie:
“I swear those boys are too trusting sometimes. This team is incredibly dangerous with the terrible two’s around.” he complained, referring to MK and Julia.
He shifted upwards, straightening his posture. “But once those two are gone, we’re next. We have an alliance of three, which is the biggest on the team. Caleb’s a smart guy, so he probably knows this too, which means he’s probably making friends with everyone to start a long con to win Damien over.” he hypothesized, eyes hardening.
“Even though I won’t let that happen, I can’t say anything yet or I’ll look like the bad guy. So as always, I’ll have to wait and bide my time before attacking” he relented.
He smiled menacingly into the camera.
“Luckily I’ve always been a patient person”.
The girls cabin was much less civil than the boys.
Shouting can be heard inside as Julia and Priya continued their ongoing argument, with MK trying to ignore them as she fiddled with an object in her hand.
“HOW DARE YOU USE CALEB LIKE THAT LAST SEASON!”
“OH PLEASE, LIKE IT’S MT FAULT YOUR BOYTOY IS SO ‘HONORABLE’!” Julia mocked.
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK”
“MAKE ME!” she taunted, not ready for Priya to jump off of her top bunk onto Julia’s bottom bunk ten feet away from her.
“AHH!” she screamed, which finally broke MK’s rapt attention to her device. She ran to the two girls, prying Priya off of Julia.
“DUDE!” MK shouted.
“She insulted my boyfriend!” was Priya’s only excuse, ignoring the fact that she would have wanted to hurt her regardless of what Julia said.
“Well I don’t give a darn! We’re a team now, and if we’re gonna argue and fight all day, then we will lose the challenge and teammates all season. Now I don’t wanna be buddy-buddy with you either but come on! Let’s at least be…annoyed roommates, okay?” MK finished her statement with an extended hand to Priya.
The girl extended her own hand, shaking MK’s, despite her sour mood.
“Now all you have to do is apologize and we can move on.” MK concluded.
“APOLOGI–” Priya was cut off from her complaint from an annoyed stare from MK.
Priya mentally weighed her options:
1: Apologize and be cool with the two girls until one of them inevitably pisses her off on purpose again, which will probably be a few hours (or even minutes) from now.
Or:
2: Don’t apologize and have the girls join forces to vilify Priya for not forgiving them for behavior that they themselves probably aren’t even sorry for, giving Bowie and his group a good reason to vote her off besides her being just a good competitor.
..She hates everyone and everything.
“I’m sorry Julia.” Priya forced herself to say through gritted teeth.
Julia’s smile could not have been wider, enjoying every second of what was going on.
“What was that Priya? I’m afraid your jumping from the top bunk of another bed to my poor sorry bunk over here must have damaged my ears irreparably. You’ll have to speak louder” she said cheekily, causing MK to smack her.
“Jules! Dude! Read the room” she chastised, not mentioning her own enjoyment of the situation.
“...Fine. I’m sorry for being rude” Julia relented, after a few beats.
“Well with that out of the way, let’s start over, agreed?” MK proposed.
“Agreed”
“Fine by me”
Confessional: Julia:
“Fat chance.”
Confessional: Priya:
“Like I’d ever forget what she’s done”
Confessional: MK:
MK couldn’t even form a word from how hard she was laughing, falling over the toilet seat.
The Mealworm boys’ cabin was significantly less toxic than the Squirrel Girls, with Zee, Chase, and Ripper already being friends with one another.
“So you guys wanna have separate bunks or does anyone wanna share?” Zee asked.
“If it’s fine with you guys, I’d like to sleep alone.” Chase admitted.
“Aw man, really? C’mon Chase-y, don’t you wanna bunk next to me?” Ripper looked at Chase.
He shifted uncomfortably “I don’t feel like being tortured by your farts dude, no offense”
“That’s fair. Well in that case I call this bunk” he pointed at the bunk farthest from the door, running towards it.
“Alright then, I’ll take this one” Chase ran to the bed closest to the door (and farthest away from the fart zone).
“What about you Zee?” Ripper looked expectantly at Zee.
Zee looked around the cabin, eyeing each bed, analyzing them in intricate detail.
With each ‘hm’ and ‘ah’, Chase grew more annoyed at the boy’s antics, and the fact that Ripper was actually laughing at Zee’s eccentrics.
Right when Chase was about to yell at him to hurry up, Zee paused.
“Perfect!” he announced, setting his belongings up on his chosen bed.
Ripper and Chase blanched.
The ‘bed’ he chose was a disgusting wreck, with an excessively used mattress, stained pillows, and the carved out initials “D+C” written on its wooden framing.
“Out of all the beds in this stinkin’ cabin, you chose that?! ” Ripper couldn’t help but laugh.
Chase laughed too, for a different reason.
“Yeah man, just look at how much more character it has than the rest.” Zee stated, proud of his choice.
He continued, “You may just see a creepy bed, but I can see beyond that. I see a once-loved, lonely bed, just waiting for companionship. Scary on the outside, soft and beautiful on the inside” he finished, bringing Ripper to tears and Chase to a yawn.
“That, my friend, was beautiful” Ripper said, giving Zee a fist bump.
“Thanks dude.”
Confessional: Chase:
“What?” He seemingly questioned the camera. “I’m serious, what just happened? I can’t believe him sometimes!” he repeated, growing frustrated at someone who’s supposed to be his friend.
“Character? Lonely? I swear that’s almost exactly how my mom described me–and I’m sure as hell not a bed.” Chase announced.
“Zee is just so emotional sometimes, he might as well be a chick!”
The Mealworm girls’ cabin was the most…interesting of the bunch.
Scary Girl hasn’t let Millie out of her sight, from when they entered the cabin to now, prompting Millie to beg for Axel to bunk with her.
“I can't be left alone with her” she pleaded-whispered to Axel, causing her to scoff.
“We’ll all be in the same cabin genius” she snarled back, uncaring.
“I-I’ll vote with you in the next elimination” Millie offered.
Axel immediately put her bag underneath Millie’s top bunk, but chose not to reciprocate Millie’s offered high-five.
Lauren watched curiously.
Confessional: Millie:
“I know Priya wouldn’t be too supportive of me getting rid of one of my votes like that so early on in the game, but you have to understand! Scary Girl was fully living up to her name. She probably figured out that I voted her over Ripper in season one, and that I have seventeen whole pages of my old journal dedicated to her!” she revealed.
She shivered, somehow feeling Lauren’s stare from in the confessional.
“So forgive a girl for wanting some protection from the crazy.”
Confessional: Axel:
“Of course I took that bunk when I was given an extra vote! I’d be an idiot not to, especially with my trainwreck of a team.” She proclaimed defensively.
“Scary Girl is the obvious first vote, but I actually think that’s a reason to keep her around. At least for one more challenge. It gives an easy backup vote in case anything goes wrong for me. But from there…” She pondered out loud.
“Millie’s annoying, but if I have her vote I won’t waste it, Zee’s an idiot, but a really nice one, so I don’t want to get rid of him now.” she continued her monologue.
She moved her knees on top of the toilet seat, sitting on them.
“That leaves Chase, Emma, Nichelle, and” she sighed.
“Ripper” she said sadly, then started to cry”
When Axel returned to the cabins from the confessional, her tears weren’t fully removed, which Emma quickly noticed.
“Oh my god, Axel!” she ran to her. “Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.
“I guess I should tell you now, so I don’t blow up later.”
Emma put a hand on her shoulder.
“You can tell me anything” she promised.
Confessional: Emma:
“I know the type of look Axel has. I just hope it doesn’t mean what I think it means.”
“Ripper broke up with me” she revealed, tears threatening to pour.
Confessional: Emma:
“Of course”
“WHAT!” Millie couldn’t help but interject, causing Axel to bawl louder and Emma to glare at her.
“Oops, sorry” she bashfully apologized, but Emma was too focused on Axel to care.
“Why would he want to break up with you?” Emma asked earnestly. “You’re so cool!”
“He-he called my worries about the zombie apocalypse ‘stupid’” she revealed, wiping her accumulated tears and snot with a tissue Scary Girl surprisingly offered.
“He said that I should be focusing more on him and I than on doomsday preparations” she cried. “But doesn’t he realize that I’m doing that for us?! I’m just trying to protect the both of us in the best way I can” she slowly stopped crying.
“Well did you try explaining that to him?” Emma inquired, receiving an eye-roll from the survivalist.
“Of course I did, but he didn’t listen, and I haven’t heard from him since!” she then went back to crying.
“So how long have you been broken up for?” Emma continued to search for answers.
“Two days”
…
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Emma screamed.
“Huh?”
“Axel, boys never listen. To me, it sounds like you just went a bit overboard, but this is all completely fixable. What you need to do is just find Ripper and kindly explain to him that you still love him. The reason he was even mad at you in the first place is because he thinks you don’t love him anymore” Emma explained.
“Where’d you get that idea from?” Axel wondered.
“Um hello? Boys 101, he’s jealous that you’re choosing something he doesn’t understand over spending time with him. In a boy’s mind, when you do something instead of giving your boyfriend attention, you love that thing more than him. Then they internalize that and dial it up to eleven!” Emma stated to a misty-eyed Axel.
“So *sniff* I can get him back?”
“Of course you can girl, go for it!” Emma cheered Axel on.
Confessional: Axel:
“Okay, so I might have overreacted, but I promise you the game is still my priority.” Axel told the audience.
“That was a rest period, so I could afford to show my real emotions. In a challenge I would be much more composed” she assured herself.
“Yeah.”
Nichelle soon walked in the Mealworm’s cabin, seething from the teeth.
“Everything okay?” Millie cautiously approached the girl, stopping at the glare she received.
“Where even were you?” Emma asked, curious.
“Oh she was in the bathroom trying to fix her hair” Scary girl explained, whistling innocently, creeping everyone out.
“How?” Nichelle asked fearfully.
“...Bye guys!” Lauren ignored Nichelle as she left the cabin, to everyone’s collective relief.
“So um..how’s your hair?” was the only thing Emma could think of asking, already knowing the answer from the still-ruined hair on Nichelle’s head.
Before Nichelle could respond a loud blaring could be heard across each cabin.
“HOPE YOU’RE ALL SETTLED IN CAUSE IIIIIIIITTTTTT’S CHALLENGE TIME! MEET AT THE DOCK IN 5!”
Millie’s group was the last to arrive at the dock, Chris staring at them impatiently as they integrated into their team.
“Finally. Okay, let’s get on with the challenge. This special challenge will pay homage to an upcoming holiday–Easter” Chris announced, signalling for Chef to reveal himself from offscreen, fully wearing a purple bunny outfit.
“It’s July” Damien pointed out.
“Well if you’re as smart as you think you are you’d realize that episodes take a long time to finalize, and that this season will be released worldwide in late March, meaning I’M RIGHT YOU’RE WRONG!”
“...Anyway, special eggs will be hidden all around the island, with each egg having its own amount of points given to them. Your goal is to find as many eggs as possible and earn as many points as you can.” He paused, eager to see their reactions to the coming information.
“As you could have deduced by now, the easiest eggs to find will be the ones worth the least amount of points, and the hardest ones will be worth the most.”
“...” Chris paused, waiting for something.
And waiting.
And waiting.
Priya had enough. “Fine, I’ll bite the bullet. ‘Wow Chris’” she faux cheered. “‘That almost sounds too easy to be true’”.
Chris grinned.
“Why Priya, I have no idea what you are talking about” he innocently replied, frustrating her.
“Each team will be forced to partner up with someone on their team to traverse around the island with. One person will be given a basket, and the other will have to find the eggs.” he revealed, much to the shared unease of the cast.
“The eggs have already been set up across the island. You have until I say so to gather as many eggs as you can. It would be most beneficial to have as many eggs as you can. Any questions?”
No one dared to raise their hand.
“Come on, seriously. It’s the first episode of the best season ever. I promise to answer it, honest!”
Caleb raised his hand.
“Caleb, my man! Lay it on me!”
He brought his arm to his chin, nervous. “Didn’t you say you’d set up the immunity idol during the first challenge? Is it possible to find it during the challenge?” He asked, cautious of being laughed at.
His question brought everyone’s attention to Chris, awaiting an answer.
“Wow, I’m surprised you remembered that.” Chris nonanswered.
“Well?” Julia asked impatiently.
“Guess you’ll have to find out.”
Confessional: Caleb:
“My fault honestly for believing he’d be transparent.” he grumbled.
Chris gave out a whistle, prompting Chef to hand each team four large easter baskets
“On your mark! Get set! Pair up and GO!”
Each team took no time to meet up with each other and decide on the teams.
Priya and Caleb took one look at each other before smiling, holding hands as Caleb took one basket for the both of them.
MK raised an eyebrow at Julia, who pushed Raj away from a basket before taking it herself, grabbing MK’s wrist to leave.
“See ya chumps” were MK’s only parting words
Bowie, Wayne, and Raj looked at each other uncertainly, while Damien looked peeved at the fact that he was a borderline afterthought, being forced to wait for a partner.
“Listen, Wayne, you let me and Raj share a bunk, so you can partner up with him for the challenge. Damien, you’re with me” Bowie shared, moments before Wayne jumped on Bowie, giving him a massive hug.
“Oh thank you thank you thank you!” Wayne said, taking a basket and leaving with Raj.
Bowie blew Raj a kiss. “Let’s go D&D” he called out to Damien, who grabbed a bag for them and left with Bowie.
“I have other passions too you know!” Damien replied.
“Then tell me about them” Bowie playfully challenged.
Confessional: Bowie:
“Now that I know Caleb’s plan, this challenge will give me the opportunity to work Damien over myself. What, did you think I would genuinely choose to partner with Damien of all people?” he admitted to the audience, smiling cockily.
He chuckled, snapping his fingers.
“Call me a hypocrite all you want, but this is a numbers game. I’ll have Damien’s vote by dinnertime”
Emma saw Chase begin to walk his way over to her, and immediately latched onto Axel.
“Partner with me?” She asked-demanded insistently.
Axel looked over at her, then her eyes wandered over to Ripper. He seemed interested in a piece of gum stuck to his shoe, but his eyes soon moved over to Axel too. They stared at each other for a moment, before Ripper’s eyebrows furrowed childishly and he looked away, causing her to frown.
She knew then that she needed more time to plan this out.
“Fine.” she relented, causing Emma to smile widely and walk away, as Axel grabbed a basket.
Chase saw that he lost his opportunity but remained undeterred, walking back to his trio.
Zee saw this as an opportunity to partner up with one of his best buddies.
“Hey guys, either of you wanna partner up with me?” he asked with a smile.
Ripper was about to answer when Chase grabbed his arm and pulled him away, having grabbed a basket on his walk back.
“Sorry buddy, but I was kinda hoping that Ripper could be my buddy, y’know?” Chase asked in a faux-sincere tone, still very salty about both the morning and cabin situations.
“Oh. Well, that’s cool too. Have fun guys!” Zee called out, being ignored by Chase, who pushed Ripper too far away to hear Zee’s words.
Nichelle grew worried about her lack of options, honing in on the only decent option in her mind.
“Millie, let’s go girl” she demanded, picking up a basket and dragging her by the wrist.
“Huh? Oh, um, okay” Millie allowed herself to get pulled away when she saw the remaining choices available.
Both girls weren’t pleased by the partnership, but were internally relieved that it wasn’t worse.
Zee waved them goodbye, and smiled when he saw Millie awkwardly wave back.
Alright, game time. Now he had to look for his own partner.
He looked around for who was left.
He couldn’t find anyone.
How strange…
“BOO!” Called out a voice from behind him, causing him to jump.
Lauren giggled from behind Zee.
“Oh! Scary Girl. Wow, you got me good!” Zee chuckled.
“Yeah I really did”
“Looks like we’re the only two left”
“Yup”
“Wanna work together?”
“OKAY!” She screamed.
“...Well alright then” Zee cheered, picking up the last basket and handing it to Lauren.
“M’lady” he offered.
She giggled again, before giving him the basket back.
“Let me do the hunting” she grinned mischievously.
“Will do” he allowed, both of them walking towards the challenge, far behind the rest of the cast.
Priya and Caleb quickly made their way to the mess hall, certain that there would be at least one egg hidden in the inside area.
“What exactly is our plan here?” Caleb asked, uncertain as the hall looked like it normally did.
“Think about it: Chris said that the hardest eggs to find are worth the most.” Priya stated.
“Oh-kay?” Caleb responded, confused about her point.
“Just think about it! What is the hardest place to get into on this island?” Priya questioned Caleb.
“..Chris’ cabin?”
“Okay, that too, but I was referring to Chef’s fridge.” Priya explained, jumping into the private kitchen.
“It’s risky, but if you think it’ll work then let’s do it!” Caleb proclaimed, not confident but supportive of his girlfriend’s plan.
As they both made it further in the kitchen, Chef’s refrigerator came closer in their views, only for both of them to realize that it had been chained shut with a lock and key.
“Okay, something has got to be in there, but we just need to find a key. Do you think Chef has it?” Priya wondered out loud, scouring over every corner in the kitchen rapidly, avoiding countless booby traps with ease.
Caleb simply walked towards the fridge and ripped off the chain.
Priya stared breathlessly.
Confessional: Caleb:
Caleb revealed his hands to the camera, completely reddened with rope burn.
“Holy hell that hurt, but did you see the way Priya looked at me? There’s no way I would have ruined that by being vulnerable.
He brought his arms back, hunching over into the camera more.
“Truth be told, I’ve been thinking about that finale last season a lot. I was so close to winning, but I just wasn’t fast enough.” He vented, eyes drooping. “But that won’t happen this time. I know what to do this time around, and I won’t let anyone trick me. I can’t let myself be vulnerable” he finished.
“I can only trust Priya in this game, and I sure as hell won’t let her down”
Once the chain was ripped apart, Caleb rubbed his hands together and looked at Priya.
“You ready?” He asked.
Priya said nothing, rushing to Caleb and embracing him. “That was amazing!”
Caleb hugged her back, them both looking into each other’s eyes once more.
Before either of them could make a move, they heard two sets of footsteps from the entrance of the mess hall, causing them both to take cover.
“Wow, I didn’t know D&D could get that intense”
“Well it usually isn't, but my friends and I like to spice the game up from time to time with some extra modifications.
“Hm, I never took you for a rule breaker” Bowie commented.
“It’s really more of a rule bender, but it’s not like that game even has strict rules man” Damien responded.
Caleb and Priya both saw the figures, looking at each other, mentally discussing whether or not they should reveal themselves.
Priya shook her head, silently opening the fridge, which revealed two golden eggs.
She quietly cheered, delivering them into the basket that Caleb held out.
The man inspected one of the eggs in his burly hand, noticing each egg was worth five points.
Content, Priya and Caleb were ready to exit until they heard Bowie speak again.
“You know, it would be really nice to have you as a member of Raj and my group” Bowie suggested.
“Oh uh, I thought we were all already friends?” Damien admitted sheepishly.
“We are, I just meant in a more..formal way” Bowie grinned mischievously.
Oh.
“An alliance” Damien stated seriously.
“Bingo.”
From the next room over, Priya and Caleb stared at each other, shocked. They both knew that this would have happened sooner or later, but this soon?
Confessional: Caleb:
“This..isn’t good.” he quietly commented, before he ruffled his hair. “Guess I have to work my charm on Damien more”
As Damien began thinking of a response to Bowie’s offer, Priya and Caleb made themselves known to the duo.
“Hey guys” Priya greeted the two boys, before pointing over to the eggs Caleb and her found, making Bowie and Damien stand up nervously.
“Sorry, but we already found all the eggs in here” She apologized, before slinging her arm around Damien in faux-bravado.
“Oh, well that's fine Priya, Bowie and I can just go somewhere else to look” Damien replied smoothly.
“Oh, well in that case, here” Caleb said, handing Damien one of their two golden eggs.
“Huh?” Bowie questioned
“In case neither of you guys find something, with this you’ll at least have a chance to not get looks from the others” He answered, before looking at Damien. “Think of it as a gift between friends” he winked, causing Damien to smile.
“Thanks guys” he said sincerely, before putting the egg in his basket. “Let’s go Bo’” he said cheerfully
“Yeah..thanks” Bowie sneered, watching as Priya and Caleb maintained their shit-eating grin.
As they exited, Bowie could only think of one thing.
‘This means war’
Opposed to Priya’s strategy, Wayne and Raj simply explored the island, running into a few one-point eggs.
“Ooh there’s one” Wayne called out to Raj, getting an egg that was pinned next to a bush.
“Okay, let’s count them” Raj suggested, counting each egg aloud. “One, two, three! We have three points!” he proudly declared, causing them to chest-bump and celebrate.
“Hoot Hoot!” they both chanted.
“Look! There’s another one” Raj pointed at an egg on top of a tree branch.
“That one seems kinda high up Rajie. Hold my body spray?” he asked, giving a random can to Raj.
“You know it bro! Hunt those eggs!” he called back enthusiastically.
Wayne rushed to the tree, ready to start climbing. He jumped on the tree, rushing upwards as if his life depended on it. As he made progress, Raj’s cheers became louder and louder, calling the attention of a nearby hawk.
The hawk looked at the climbing boy, then at the egg on a nearby branch. Mistaking the egg as one of its own, it swooped to the tree, taking the egg.
“Oh no you don’t!” Wayne declared, grabbing onto one of the hawk’s legs, before being flown away with the egg in his hands.
“AAAAAGHHHH!!!!!!”
“WAYNER!!” Raj screamed, chasing after the hawk, dropping one of his own eggs in the process.
“What are we doing here?” Julia asked MK as they both arrived back to their cabin, MK stopping to grab a wrench from her coat pocket.
“Hijacking the camera outside the cabin, duh” she stated as if it was obvious information, causing Julia to raise an eyebrow.
“And how exactly are you going to reach it?” she asked.
MK gestured towards her shoulders.
“Oh no, I am not allowing you to get on me.”
“Just shut up and let me climb you.”
“No!”
“You know that if we do lose then you are going first, right?” MK remarked.
Julia hmph’d, surrendering her shoulders as MK climbed on top of her to the camera.
“Why is the camera even important?” Julia continued to ask questions, annoying MK.
“Relax girlfriend, just let me work my magic.” MK soothed, inputting some commands.
Her eyes lit up as she saw footage of Chef and some interns placing eggs all across the island (alongside a quick, orange blur she couldn’t make out).
“YES, It’s all here!” she cheered.
Julia didn’t even know half of what MK was doing, and decided to just file her nails until she revealed it to her, putting her trust in her (challenge) partner.
A few minutes later MK came back to the ground, with a piece of paper she wrote on.
“Okay, so all the cameras here are linked, so I was able to see where some of the eggs were hidden” she explained to Julia, whose eyes widened with interest. “I wrote it all down here” she handed Julia the paper.
“Well what are we waiting for, let’s go” Julia cried, running with MK in tow.
Confessional: MK:
“Okay, real talk: I couldn’t care less about this challenge. I’m trynna find that immunity idol baby! Jules and I are on crazy thin ice right now, so even if we win this challenge, it would just mean one extra day we get to stay.
MK folded her hands in front of her, refocusing on the camera.
“But with an idol, we get to tag-team a person, probably Priya or Bowie, and regain the control we had from last season.” MK smirked
“You know, my teacher always said that cheaters never prosper, but that was also before her husband made out with the principal, so I think that saying’s outdated”
The awkward silence between Nichelle and Millie was palpable, neither knowing what to say to the other. The stress of underperforming in the challenge added onto the situation, both girls only having found one egg.
Millie pointed to an egg inside a log “Found another one!” she informed Nichelle, who quickly put it in her basket.
“That’s two points” Nichelle cheered, only partially enthusiastic.
“...So” Millie began.
“Yeah?”
“Oh um, I don’t actually-”
“Then why did you?”
“How’s Hollywood?” Millie asked, not knowing what else to bring up
Nichelle groaned, walking away.
Confessional: Millie:
“Why am I so bad at this?” she asked herself, groaning in frustration.
“I just can’t seem to make friends with anyone besides Priya! Don’t get me wrong, Priya’s amazing, but I’m on my own this season, and becoming friends with Nichelle would be the perfect solution” she vented.
She sighed audibly.
“But I dunno if it’s me being me or Nichelle being crazy popular, but we just can’t bond! Oh well, at least we have two eggs!” she ended optimistically.
Chris watched each team get their eggs, groaning.
“This is soooo boring” he complained.
“So why don’t you use the surprise twist early?” Chef asked
Chris pauses, genuinely considering the idea, then shook his head.
“It’ll be worth waiting for” he grinned.
Chase and Ripper continued to search for eggs, soon entering into a deep, philosophical discussion.
“All I’m saying is that if all I had to do to not get my legs chopped off is eat a dead baby, then I’m all for it!” Ripper provided his opinion.
“Yeah, but what about the part where the MOTHER WATCHES YOU EAT IT!” Chase questioned in sheer disbelief.
“Yeah, well, all women are awful anyway, so why should I care?” Ripper replied, unconcerned.
“Is this about Axel again?”
“Duh! Can you believe she chose her crazy zombie obsession over this hunk of a man?!” Ripper asked Chase, flexing his body.
“I admit, I find it surprising she didn’t choose a total alpha male, but you have to realize not every woman is like her” Chase stated, zoning out as he lost himself in thought.
“Huh?” Ripper questioned.
“I’m just saying, Emma’s totally gonna get back with me any second now, and that’ll for sure prove you wrong” Chase naively stated.
“You’re kidding, right?” Ripper deadpanned.
Confessional: Chase:
“You know, for as smart a guy Ripper is, he just doesn’t understand the female mind. They push you back because they want you to chase them. Emma’s been doing this for like, ever, so I know she wants me. Ripper just needs to realize it’s the same way with Axel!”
“Listen Ripper, you think I wouldn’t know my own girlfriend by now? I am her lifeline, the one person that makes her want to wake up every day. And trust me dude, you’re that for Axel” he finished in an attempt to win Ripper back over, to no avail.
“Yeah yeah, whatever you say pretty boy” he replied, unbelieving.
Ripper was struggling to pick up the egg, and asked Chase for help.
As he walked over to help his friend, Ripper accidentally let out a fart, incapacitating Chase and making him fall to the ground.
“GUH” he panted, getting back up and running away for fresh air.
As he reached an isolated area, he took several deep breaths, then prepared to return to Ripper.
..Before he noticed something shiny in the distance.
Chase ignored Ripper’s continued cries for help as he went to investigate.
Zee and Lauren trailed alongside an ingrown path, Lauren certain that she knows where one of the good eggs must be.
“Here we are” Scary Girl announced as she and Zee reached their destination.
“..That’s a bear cave” Zee pointed out, surprisingly calm.
“TA DA!” she cheered, before clearing her face.
“If good eggs are in dangerous places, just imagine how good this egg would be” she explained to Zee, whose eyes opened wider in amazement.
“Woah, I didn’t think about it that way! You’re a genius” he praised her, not noticing her smile becoming less fake.
“Yeah, well, just tell me that after I get that egg” she said, determined.
She and a slightly nervous Zee entered the cave, while the camera stayed outside. Loud noises could be heard, including Zee’s uncharacteristically high-pitched scream, Lauren’s cheers, and a bear’s pained groans.
Scary Girl and a shocked Zee walked out, golden egg in hand, each with minimal injuries.
“You’re a genius” Zee simply said, remembering what Lauren asked of him.
“And you have a beautiful scream” she replied, hand twitching from excitement.
“Why thank you, I practice with horror movies” Zee earnestly responded, taking a bow.
Confessional: Zee:
Zee magically took a soda out from his pocket, opening the tab.
“I’m still a bit bummed that I couldn’t partner with my bros, but hey, what can you do?” he said shrugging.
“Anyways, Scary Girl isn’t as bad as I thought she’d be. I heard horror stories from people at the hotel from in-between seasons saying a bunch of gnarly stuff about her.
He put his soda to his lips, taking a few sips.
“But honestly? She’s pretty cool. Sure she’s a bit weird, but Jason from third grade said that me missing a leg was weird so as far as I’m concerned? We’re two birds of the same feather, only that feather is a leg and the leg is missing.”
He paused, mentally re-hearing what he just said.
“Where was I going with this?”
Confessional: Scary Girl/Lauren:
Lauren looked into the camera, confused.
“That..doesn’t happen. Whenever I’m myself, people just run away, screaming.” she mentioned, straight-faced.
“I must know more.”
“WHAT?!” MK shouted, causing Julia to startle in surprise. “HOW DID SOMEONE FIND IT ALREADY?!
“Find what?” she asked what felt like the millionth question of the day, frustrated from her partner’s lack of transparency.
“What do you think, dumbass, the immunity idol!” MK exclaimed, panicked.
Julia paled.
“You know where it is?! WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMEONE FOUND IT!” she said, panicking too.
“Okay, I lied when I said I looked for egg footage, and the paper I gave you was total bogus. I was looking for the idol so we could speed-blitz Priya out of the game, and I found footage that showed an intern putting the idol in this very bush!” MK explained, handing Julia an iPad she smuggled to the island with the camera footage.
“But when I came to get it, IT WAS GONE!” she started freaking out, causing Julia to slap her.
“..Thanks Jules. Now we actually have to..Try” she muttered the last word as if it was a death sentence.
Julia pressed buttons on the iPad, looking for footage of the eggs being hidden.
“We have no time to waste, it’s our asses on the line!”
Confessional: Julia:
“Someone having the idol this early in the game is…problematic.” she shivered, imagining Priya having the idol.
“But, it isn’t the end of the world just yet. I stole the idol before, I can do it again.” she smiled, the light not quite reaching her eyes.
“Besides, I have MK again, and she’s a master thief” she stated, her smile becoming more lively.
Emma marched forward, still determined to find at least one egg–if only to stop Axel’s constant complaining.
“You mean to tell me that in this ENTIRE STINKIN’ ISLAND ALL WE COULD FIND WAS ONE EGG!” she ranted to an Emma that was starting to regret her decision to partner with the survivalist.
“Hey, it was just bad luck that it cracked.” she attempted to comfort Axel, only for her to scowl at her.
“Yeah. Bad luck.” She begrudgingly said, not mentioning how it was Emma who tripped on her shoelace that caused the incident.
Despite her anger, she was still genuinely thankful for her help earlier.
“Hey cheer up, we’ll find some more eggs in no ti–” she paused, seeing two new figures in the distance.
Bowie stared at Emma, who stared back. Neither knew exactly what to say to the other, given the less-than-ideal terms they ended on. Damien looked at Axel warily, as if she was going to take one of the two eggs that he has in his basket.
“H-hey”
“Hey Emma”
“Soo..”
“How’s the challenge?” Bowie interjected, landing on a subject to discuss.
“Fine, fine, and you?” she replied nervously.
Axel was growing more annoyed by the minute, but couldn’t express that to the one person who helped her today.
But before anyone could say anything (including Damien, who was about to point out an egg in front of them), an announcement came out from Chris.
“EVERYONE TO THE MAIN AREA IMMEDIATELY! BRING YOUR EGGS!” he announced, ending the broadcast with a sinister laugh.
“Wanna go together?” Emma asked Bowie and Damien.
Neither boy had any objections (although Axel did, but remained quiet) and the four teens left.
As the campers all returned to their starting area, Chris became more (outwardly) deranged, with even Chef chuckling along with him.
“Where’s Wayne?” he pointedly asked Raj, who arrived without his non-blood brother.
Raj was about to explain until a small Wayne-sized shadow appeared on the ground, growing in size.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!”
Chris paused as Wayne hit the ground, alongside a cracked egg.
“Nevermind” he deadpanned.
He then moved on to inspect each team’s total amount of eggs:
The Squirrels had thirteen points, with two golden 5-pointers and three 1-pointers.
While the Mealworms…
“Wow, this is really pathetic” he commented, with the Mealworms only having seven points, from one golden egg and two 1-point eggs.
“Well maybe we’d have more if SOMEONE HELPED A BROTHER OUT!” Ripper called Chase out, as he was unable to get his egg.
“Whatever dude” he simply replied, walking closer to Emma.
“Well the winners aaaaaaaaaare…The Squirrels!” he stated, causing the team to cheer, with Julia and MK the most ecstatic.
“Or they would be if that was the challenge” Chris chuckled as the Squirrels' faces dropped to crazy proportions.
“WHAT/HUH/AW SHIT/NOO/WHYx2/DAMN/AAAHH/” were the simultaneous replies.
“What, you thought something that simple would actually be the challenge?” Chris was offended at the teens’ low expectations.
“Oh nonono, we have something better planned. A little…blast to the past for our long time viewers” he winked at the camera.
“Come on out” Chris called, leaving the campers confused.
…Until they all saw a large, orange, blur jump down from who-knows-where.
“Introducing long-time TD veteran, Izzy!" Chris announced, as the orange-haired lady grinned widely, somehow out-scarying Scary Girl.
‘Oh shit’ the contestants thought collectively.