Work Text:
The party itself should have been nothing grand- but it was Hakase's twenty-sixth birthday, and how could things not have gotten out of hand? What had started out as a small party amongst friends had somehow escalated into a grand-scale event for fellow researchers from the university and coworkers from Hakase's sake business (had one of the servants invited all these people?), and soon enough, Hikawa Estate was crawling with attendees. Although Hakase wasn't close with even a fraction of these people, he wasn't someone that would hate others for the sake of hating them, and he was actually quite happy that so many people showed up to his party. And as for why he was happy that so many people showed up, well...
The reason he was happy was the same reason that Kawase was nearly ready to throw up- that is, a shiny new diamond ring was wrapped firmly around one of Tamamori's fingers, and Hakase was overjoyed to drag him around the party and show it off to everyone. It was a nice ring made out of bloodless diamonds that were supposedly harvested by some British researcher from a comet that had smacked into Earth thousands of years ago... One of those little rocks probably cost more than the entire village of Aizu's gross annual income, and while the price tag was high, the ring looked tasteful enough to not be overly showy.
...It would seem to be some sort of 'engagement' ring, and Tamamori had even called it as much in front of Minakami, Kawase, and Hanazawa- he gathered his friends in the Hikawa Estate library just before the party started, having told them he had an announcement he wanted to make. His face had been beet red, and his voice shook slightly when he spoke, but there was a disgustingly hypnotized look on his face, almost like he was happy! He had wanted to tell his friends himself, he said. And as he had said those words, oh, how joyful Hakase had looked standing there next to him. That wondrously happy look on their faces made the blood rush to Kawase's ears, and the noise in his head was so bad that he couldn't hear that Hanazawa had started clapping, even though he was sitting right beside him. In the end Minakami clapped too, although his clapping could just be said to be putting his hands together as if in prayer, and then unjoining his hands in a measured motion.
To Tamamori, his friends' reaction was about what he had expected- Hanazawa was supportive of his friends’ choice to get married, and Minakami was supportive of him in the same placid way that he always was, and Kawase looked outright disgusted, but he always looked outright disgusted, so where was the surprise in that? No, that should be usual. He was just the kind of person who got squeamish about literally everything, right?
And so, once his bashfulness from the announcement had worn off, Tamamori was quickly back to his usual behavior, joking and messing around with his friends. As party guests arrived, things became so busy that the awkward air was dispersed by the lively buzz of people planning to get so drunk they had to be dragged to a taxi by their nearest companion. Tamamori's mood could even be said to be chipper, and it seemed he was having fun bullying Hakase in front of all their party guests (no, maybe it was Hakase that was happy he was being bullied, that guy had weird fetishes, after all...)
And so, once Tamamori left them to go and interact with the rest of their guests, the three childhood friends were left all by themselves.
...
"..."
...
...It was a bit awkward without Tamamori there, but that was fairly usual.
...
"..."
...
...No, this wasn't usual. This wasn't usual in the slightest.
Kawase was hunched over, clutching his stomach and covering his mouth with hand. Normally, even if he was upset at Tamamori and Hakase (an occurrence that happened at least three or so times in a month), he would simply light a cigarette and let out a strand of obscenities to express how he felt, and he would be able to return to normal once he was done. But ever since Tamamori's announcement, he has only grown paler and paler, and now he looked so ill that it might be better if Hanazawa and Minakami pointed their shoes away from him, lest they be caught in something grotesque.
Although Minakami could somewhat relate to how Kawase felt, he knew better than to try and comfort the other man. Anything he said would certainly make matters worse, so it would be better to just silently ride it out. On the other hand, Hanazawa seemed quite happy, and he placed his pipe between his lips with a slight grin on his face. It could be said that he was a bigger man than Kawase when it came to dealing with his jealousy, although maybe Minakami could be said to be the biggest of them all. And while none of the three friends felt perfectly happy with the situation, Hanazawa and Minakami at least were capable of giving their blessings to the couple- a show of strength on their part that a certain someone else seemed to be lacking.
After their prolonged silence, it was Hanazawa who spoke first, "I wonder if they have any intentions on having a wedding? If it's as attended as this birthday party, I suppose that even we can expect to get invitations."
It was Hanazawa's way of joking, and Minakami gave him a small grin, "You think so? I'm positive that Hakase will invite you, but if I want an invitation, I'll have to beg Tamamori for one."
"Surely he'll give you one," Hanazawa said.
"He might if I offer to buy him a few bottles of Calspi as a wedding gift."
They laughed. They laughed, and the head of the man who was sitting between them only sunk lower and lower.
"It'll be interesting to see how they dress," Hanazawa said.
"Do you suddenly have an interest in fashion?" Minakami asked.
"No, but I'm wondering if I should bring any paperwork to file an incident report or not."
For some reason, Minakami responded like he had experience, "Just bring it- if it's a wedding that Tamamori's part of, you'll need it sooner or later."
It was another joke, they were joking like they were happy.
They were seriously joking like they were happy.
"...it."
Minakami and Hanazawa both paused, and looked between them.
"Did you say something, Kawase?" Hanazawa asked.
"...Shut it."
In all their years, Hanazawa had not once been disrespected by Kawase in any way. He treated him reverently, speaking humbly in a soft voice that showed unnecessary deference to someone he grew up with. It was because of that fact that Hanazawa could simply not comprehend what had been said.
He thought maybe the noise of the party below them had simply distorted his hearing. "What was that?" He asked again.
"I said shut it!"
As he shouted, Kawase stood up and spun around, stepping back to look at the two men staring at him.
Although Minakami had been insulted by Kawase several times in his life, he didn't think he had ever heard him shout before, and certainly no one had ever heard him shout at Hanazawa before. Even Kawase seemed to be surprised by his own actions, and the expression on his face was strange. He was breathing hard like he was horribly excited about something, and he almost looked haggard.
Minakami had a bad feeling about this.
Meanwhile, having been in the military for so long, Hanazawa had certainly dealt with belligerents before, and so even if he was surprised at the outburst he remained calm.
"What are you getting so agitated for? You haven't looked right all evening, and now you're shouting for no reason," Hanazawa said.
"Shouting for no reason? Shouting for no reason? Surely you're joking." Kawase's voice had reverted to its original volume, but the look on his face hadn't improved at all. "Please tell me you're joking- you and Minakami were joking only a second ago, tell me this is a joke too!"
Hanazawa stared at him carefully for a moment before a look of realization dawned on him. "Ah... You must have been drinking before the party, I take it?"
"Not enough to get drunk!"
Hanazawa had nailed it, then. But it was strange- Kawase hardly ever drank at all. He seemed to have a particular disdain for it, so he abstained more often than not. What's stranger was, Tamamori's big announcement had only just happened, so if he was already drunk, then he must have been drinking even before the big news…. Had he already been upset even before this?
"You're enough of a lightweight that you really shouldn't have drunk any before the party. You'll embarrass yourself if you drink anymore," Hanazawa said.
"I'll embarrass myself?" Kawase laughed. "Maybe, but surely no one is making a bigger embarrassment than Tamamori-kun flaunting that hideous-ass ring and parading around with that clown as if he's proud of himself!"
Insulting Hakase wasn't endearing him to Hanazawa, and insulting Tamamori wasn't endearing him to Minakami.
But Minakami was someone who could momentarily swallow his anger if it meant avoiding an uglier situation down the line.
“Come now, there's no need for that. Please calm down.” Minakami tilted his head slightly as if he were pleading with him. “You might not get along with Hakase, but you're getting worked up for nothing.”
Hearing his voice, Kawase spun on his heel to meet Minakami’s eyes. He completely ignored Minakami's words and opened his mouth as if to berate him.
“And you! I know for a fact you can't be happy about this, so why are you acting?”
“In what way am I acting?”
“Don't play dumb- the man you love is getting married to Hakase!”
Minakami's eyes widened slightly. Even if it was true, he hadn't expected Kawase to say it outright.
“Kawase, look at how upset you've just made Minakami. Where did you get such a weird idea in your head from?” Hanazawa said, “Minakami clearly cares about Tamamori, but to imply that he loves him in that way is an insult to the friendship they have. Surely Minakami would not be able to have feelings for Tamamori knowing he's in a relationship with Hakase- Minakami respects him, so he would never have any feelings towards him that would put his friends in awkward positions.”
It would seem that Hanazawa considered Minakami to be a man of virtue without any worldly desires cluttering his heart, while Kawase considered him to be a filthy human who had a sickening amount of his own worldly desires all hidden underneath a clay mask. Although neither one was right, neither was completely wrong either.
When he heard Hanazawa's words, Kawase burst out laughing, and Minakami felt like joining him… but he knew better than that.
“What Hanazawa said is true. I do care about Tamamori, but not in any way that would make him feel awkward.”
“So you're a liar after all!” Kawase spat, a look of vindication on his face. “Fine, fine- I get it! I’d lie too, if I were in your shoes. It's hard imagining what Hakase does to Tamamori every night when you love him so much, but if we all lie and say we're all friends, you can get to sleep easier, right?”
Kawase had always tended to use crude language when they were teenagers, but as a young adult he had toned it down for the sake of being presentable in society… But the part of him that was so good at using crude and disgusting words was still there, and it seemed he was still willing to use it.
“What are you talking about?” Minakami asked.
“What the hell do you think I'm talking about, moron? Need I remind you that Tamamori-kun is with the same pervert who got an erection just from having seen him unbutton his shirt by one button, just because the restaurant we were in was too hot?”
“How do you know he got an erection?” Hanazawa glared at him.
“Because I'm not blind and I'm not deaf! Do you not remember how those two were acting every second after that? If they're going to act so shamelessly in front of us, they might as well get naked and do it on the table, right?”
“Please don't give them any ideas.” Minakami murmured the first part so quietly that no one heard him, but then he spoke normally. “They might act flirty sometimes- that's true. But that much is normal for young couples, isn't it?”
“No way are you comparing those two to other young couples. Whatever the hell they have going on is not a normal relationship.”
“How is their relationship not normal?” Hanazawa said.
Kawase paused, a look crossing his face to suggest that he was actually considering it.
“...At first, I would have said that they had a parasite-and-host kind of relationship, but now I'm not sure. Part of me thinks it's way more sinister than that.”
“What do you mean by sinister?” Hanazawa was thoroughly insulted on Hakase's behalf, and if he hadn't been so shocked that Kawase was speaking so bluntly to him, he might have already put a stop to his slandering. But it seemed that Hanazawa was still absorbing his newfound belligerence towards him, so Kawase continued to run his mouth freely.
“I was thinking… maybe Hakase’s blackmailing Tamamori-kun somehow, and he was forced into a relationship with him. Or maybe Hakase has invented some kind of weird drug that made Tamamori-kun fall in love with him overnight, and he's been injecting him with all kinds of strange things this whole time.” Kawase spoke quickly and with surety, as if he had been thinking about these possible scenarios for months on end. It was like he had become obsessed with Hakase and Tamamori's relationship, like he had spent more time thinking about it than anyone else.
“Now, that's ridiculous and you know it! You, more than anyone, have no right to be suspicious of Hakase using foul play against Tamamori,” Hanazawa set his pipe aside, and he was sitting up straighter. It was clear that Kawase's vicious words were starting to get to him, and he was keen on ending this fight sooner rather than later.
And Hanazawa's words ‘you, more than anyone’, actually seemed to have shaken Kawase. He had fallen silent, and his lips were drawn into a thin white line. Minakami saw this, and thought that now would be a good time to try and put an end to this nightmarish scene.
“Look Kawase, we can see that you're upset that Tamamori and Hakase are getting married. And I know you're upset because you don't get along well with Hakase, and you're worried that he's going to do something bad to Tamamori. I think that worrying about our friend is admirable-”
“Admirable? Fuck off-”
“...-But I want to ask what you're trying to gain from all this. After all, in the end, Hakase and Tamamori's decision to be wed is their own. Getting all up in arms about it here isn't going to prevent their marriage in any way-”
Kawase suddenly snapped his fingers, and motioned at him. “Yes, that’s it Minakami! That's the point I'm trying to make. We need to prevent it, we need to prevent their marriage! And us just sitting here and talking about it amongst ourselves isn't going to do anything! We have to get Tamamori-kun to snap out of it!”
Kawase was not an over-the-top kind of guy, and to hear him speaking about a mad scheme that sounded like something that an aspiring writer would come up with… was bizarre. Minakami had known that Kawase didn't like Hakase, but he would have never imagined that he would go to such lengths to prevent his marriage… Why was that? Why the hell was the cool and unaffected Kawase seeming to want to get involved in some affairs that didn't concern him?
It wasn't like him at all, and although Minakami could take a guess at why that might be, he was afraid to be wrong.
“Now, why on earth would I try to stop their marriage?” Minakami said.
“Because then you could marry Tamamori-kun!”
If Kawase's words sounded unhinged before, then now he just sounded like he was a frothing-at-the-mouth lunatic. Minakami was completely stunned by this. His jaw having come slightly unhinged, he could only utter a noise of confusion.
But Kawase pressed further, "Think about it- that's really what you want to do, isn't it? Oh, you can still lie and say that I'm wrong, I don't care. I know that you want to be Tamamori-kun’s husband, not that other guy. And you know what? Why not! If you can get him away from that Hakase, then you might as well have him.”
“H-huh?”
“I never thought I'd say this, but if you can actually do it, I'll give you two morons my blessing. After all, anything is better than seeing Tamamori-kun with him. Their relationship doesn't even make any fucking sense- how the hell did they end up together?” Kawase shook his head, “At least if he was with you, it would have made sense. That's what I expected. You were always together, and I had always thought, I would have thought-...”
His voice trailed off, and he had a distant look on his face. Although Minakami was completely bewildered by his logic, it made perfect sense to Kawase. To him, it was the devil he knew or the devil he didn't- and although he couldn’t always understand Minakami, at the very least, he was passive in nature and he never did anything strange to Tamamori in front of him. But as for Hakase, well… It was already bad that he corrupted Hanazawa, but to go even further and take Tamamori away from him…?
It was simply unbearable.
When he was a few years younger, he would have said that there was no one more intolerable on the planet than Minakami… Oh, how naive he had been! You really don't know what you have until you lose it. He had thought it was all too irksome when Tamamori used to lean his shoulder against the calm and unobtrusive Minakami, but that behavior was a far cry from the constant pestering and flirting that went on between the obnoxious and raucous Hakase.
He had found out that there was something far worse than a man who loved his Tamamori quietly… and that was a man who loved his Tamamori loudly! Go to hell already!!
It was because of these feelings in him (and maybe a little because of the alcohol he had consumed in the taxi on the way here), that he had spoken so boldly in front of the others. It had been tolerable when he had thought that Hakase and Tamamori’s relationship would crumble around them in a matter of days. But those days had turned into weeks, and those weeks had turned into months, and those months had turned into two years. And now, they had even said words like ‘engagement’ and ‘marriage’.
If this relationship was going to be going on any longer, how could he bear it?
Although Minakami could understand Kawase, it seemed that Hanazawa couldn't even begin to comprehend him. His patience had worn thin and he stood up, brushing his already spotless pants with his hands. “Kawase, why are you pushing this narrative that Minakami is in love with Tamamori so hard? What do you stand to gain from bad-mouthing people like this?”
“I'm not bad-mouthing anyone!” Kawase paused, and then shook his head. “Or maybe you think I'm bad-mouthing them, but everything I've said so far is the truth.”
“No, the only thing you've done is stand there and rant and rave to yourself like you've lost your mind,” Hanazawa said.
“I knew you would think I'm crazy, I knew you would think I'm crazy!” Repeating himself wasn't helping his case. “Minakami, you see it too, right? What Hakase has done to both of them- it's not normal, none of this is normal! Think of what we've become…”
“I-... I'm afraid I don't agree with you,” Minakami bowed his head low, as if he were sorry. “I don't really see the problem with any of us.”
“Come now, Minakami, are you sure you don't see a problem with at least one of us?” Hanazawa shot him a look and Minakami realized in that moment that Hanazawa thought he was on his side.
Hanazawa was convinced that Kawase had finally lost it (and he had always thought that someone from that kind of family probably never really had both oars in the water in the first place- whether it was his fault or not). But now that Kawase had really finally lost it, he certainly wasn't going to stand by while his real friends were insulted so thoroughly. But Minakami had never wanted to take sides from the beginning. Instead of agreeing with Hanazawa, he only lowered his head slightly, wanting to disengage with him. To pick a side in this kind of nasty fight would only be digging a hole to fall into later, and it would be best to say as little as possible.
But Hanazawa could stand by himself even if Minakami didn't back him. It wasn’t so surprising to him that the passive man refused to admonish Kawase, and he certainly didn’t need him to-
He could settle this himself.
He stepped up to Kawase. “Quit making an ass of yourself. You're drunk- just get a taxi and go home.”
It was hard for Kawase to hear those words from Hanazawa when he had looked up to him for so long, but he knew that he was a different man, and he had been a different man ever since Hakase had sunk his claws into him. If he ever wanted Hanazawa back-... No, if he ever wanted Tamamori back, he had to at least speak his mind.
Of course, he might be able to get his point across more eloquently if only he weren’t so angry and a touch drunk.
“I knew you wouldn't be able to understand me. I wouldn't have even brought it up today, but I was caught off guard when Tamamori-kun said he was going to marry that freak.”
“...What did you just say?”
Hanazawa stepped even closer to him, but Kawase stayed rooted to his spot. His subconscious was screaming at him to bow his head in apology to Hanazawa (didn’t he owe this man everything? Didn’t he owe this man more than he could pay back in one lifetime?), but his judgment was clouded by his anger, and he opened his mouth once more.
“And to think that Tamamori-kun would fall victim to him, too. It should have never even lasted this long, let alone to have come to this…”
“You've spent long enough insulting Hakase, and all on his birthday as well. Have you no shame? No, I know it- you've never had a sense of shame! That's why you are the way you are!”
Even Minakami was made uncomfortable by Hanazawa’s words and he opened his mouth to intervene, but Kawase spoke up first.
“You can berate me all that you’d like, I know perfectly well how I am. But if you think that handing over Tamamori-kun- who is too stupid to even be suspicious of the slimiest of freaks- to a psychopath with perverted tendencies is a good idea, then you’re more gullible than I thought.”
“You watch your mouth! Unlike you, the Professor’s a great man.”
“As long as everyone lets that wretched freak stay near them, things will neve-”
Kawase did not get to finish his sentence, however, as partway through it, Hanazawa’s fist connected with his jaw.
It was a clean hit with strength behind it, and Kawase was knocked on his ass. Getting hit in the jaw was something that actually hurts straight away instead of a pain that comes slowly (and Kawase was already well-learned of this matter), and the pain was so bad that it shot up through the nerves in his teeth and into his ear. Tears leaked out of the eye on the affected side, and his arms shot up to protect his head and face on instinct.
Of course, Hanazawa had never intended to hit him twice, so the cowering was unnecessary. (Hanazawa hadn’t even really wanted to hit him once, but he wasn’t opposed to doing what he had to, and it seemed that Kawase really wasn’t going to shut his mouth without intervention).
The few party guests who had wandered up to the library heard this commotion, and everyone in the room turned to look at the scene. A few gasped and pointed, while a few others looked scared that the man in the military uniform was going to be coming for them next. Hanazawa could only sigh in his heart at this, but he wasn’t the kind of man who would regret defending his friend's honor.
…And Minakami was sick of the whole situation.
“Hang on, now! It doesn’t have to be like this, it really doesn’t have to be like this!” Minakami stood up and went to crouch by Kawase, but he became conscious of the fact that touching him would probably only make things far worse. So instead, he could only try to plead with him. “Kawase… Why don’t you go home for now? You never liked parties so much anyways, right? I’ll call a taxi for you, just-”
However, as Minakami was speaking Kawase jumped to his feet, stepping back to be a good meter away from both of them. His face could be seen clearly now, and there was a swollen red lump forming under his jaw and up to the corner of his mouth.
Minakami stood up and stepped towards Kawase as if to help him, but it seemed as if he had enough.
“You two have lost your minds! You might not see it today, you might not see it tomorrow, but one day you’ll wake up and realize that all of this is a mistake! And if you want to make a mistake, make it by yourselves!”
As he said this, he spun on his heel and ran out of the library. Neither Hanazawa nor Minakami wanted to follow him- Kawase going home by himself and cooling off was best for all of them.
The murmuring of the party goers who were present had only gotten worse, and Minakami could only turn towards Hanazawa with a sheepish look on his face. Hanazawa probably hadn’t wanted to make a scene for Hakase’s sake, and Minakami was much the same with Tamamori. Although Kawase had initiated the fight, Minakami didn’t believe the punch was warranted (but he wouldn’t say as much to Hanazawa, as he knew that he wouldn’t feel remorse over it).
More than anything, Minakami was wanting a reason to go home himself. Right as he was trying to think of an excuse to leave, Hanazawa turned towards him.
“Do you think he’ll ever get it?”
Minakami was silent for a while- he knew very well what Hanazawa meant, but he had a feeling that it was hopeless. In Minakami’s eyes, it wasn’t that the relationship between Kawase and Hakase could never be good…
It was that reconciliation between Kawase and Hanazawa was impossible.
And it was only impossible because Hanazawa didn’t want to reconcile with Kawase after what had happened back then.
…It would be foolish to say any of that now. Instead, Minakami only shook his head slowly. “Maybe he’ll get it one day, maybe he won’t. But let’s just try to be glad it’s over for now.”
Hanazawa smiled ruefully and shook his head. “That’s certainly the optimist's way of looking at it.”
“Well, it's Hakase’s birthday, isn’t it? You don’t need to spend your time worrying when you should be celebrating. Let’s do our best to put this aside for now,” Minakami said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Now then, let’s go and find Tamamori. I want to see if his hand is still attached to his wrist after how hard Hakase was pulling him around.”
Hanazawa laughed at that.
“Let’s do that.”
…
Downstairs, out of the corner of his eye, Tamamori thought he saw a slender figure dressed in all black slinking down the grand staircase, as if he were but only a shadow… But when he blinked that figure was long gone, and turning to his right he saw Hakase, who had frosting from a western dessert smeared on his face.
“...You can leave it on your face all night if you’d like. I’m not wiping it off for you.”
“Not even a kiss, then?”
“Only if you want to get bitten.”
“...!! You’d really do something like that…!?”
“…”
This guy was serious, by the way!