Work Text:
‘Don’t eat -Percy’
Apollo stared at the note on top of the saran wrap package of blue cookies. Percy loved baking and once his mother shared her recipe for the infamous blue cookies it’s all he seemed to make lately, Apollo loves his baked treats and the blue cookies are notably also his favorite.
So he wasn’t mad when Percy baked or the fact it was just blue cookies but this is the first time a situation like this happened… he wasn’t allowed to eat one of these baked goods that are just staring at his non-existent soul, begging to be eaten.
The note written in blue ink—probably with riptide— taunted him… Percy won’t notice if he ate it right? He has more in the fridge. He could eat the ones in the fridge but these were fresh and still had slightly melted chocolate chips… it wouldn’t hurt at all, in fact there should be no reason why Percy wrote they shouldn’t be eaten.
~
Percy was once again baking blue cookies but this time they had a twist, they were now edibles. Why? Percy didn’t know but getting high with Nico and Thalia sounded really good right now. Of course though he had to leave down to Atlantis as soon as the cookies were done. Triton had iris-messaged him saying he wanted to spar (Code words for he did something and doesn’t want to get in trouble with father.)
Apparently Triton snuck out with Kymopoleia the other night and Poseidon mentioned something about how Kym wasn’t in bed. Percy found it all really stupid and left after a short spar that ended in a tie. Of course he knew he’d get an annoying Iris-message from Triton later once he gets in trouble, but that’s a future problem for him.
When Percy arrived back at Delos, he was expecting to see the cookies right where he left them so he could grab them and go, but were they there? No. Every single one of them was gone leaving crumbs on the plate. Who could’ve eaten them- nevermind… Percy knew who ate them and he was most definitely spazzing right now. Those were made for immortals so they already had a much higher dosage and there was enough for three immortals who ate like black holes…
~
“He what?! If he wasn’t a god he’d most definitely be dead right now! Once he gets out of his high, kick his ass for me! I wanted to get lit tonight but now I can’t, next week I guess...” Percy expected that to go how it went with Thalia, Nico was with Thalia too already and he started sulking. At least they didn’t have to do anything else… he had to take care of his boyfriend now who already is an issue half the time.
~
“Apollo? Where are you?!” Percy has been looking around the temple for around five minutes and hasn’t seen or heard a single sign of the sun god. That was until he heard loud giggling from their bedroom. Opening the door, there he saw his Olympian boyfriend on the floor giggling like a toddler with a random picture. The picture was when the two of them went to Greece and Apollo tripped into a puddle, he never knew Apollo printed it out… Where did he put the others then? If Percy knew his boyfriend as well as he did, there’s definitely more, —and most definitely some vulgar ones— so ignoring that for now he turned his attention back to the giggling mess.
”Apollo, what are you laughing about?” The blonde shot up into a sitting position and turned his head to look at Percy.
“My beautiful,” he giggled more, “boyfriend!” He quite literally slithered over to Percy and hugged his legs.
Looking over at the time, 6:47.
Percy sighed knowing this would be his life for the next couple of hours…
~
It was hard trying to cook dinner with a clingy boyfriend who kept laughing. Halfway through the said boyfriend sat on the floor holding onto Percy’s legs as he recited ‘Stayin’ Alive’ by Bees Gees. It was one of his favorites and he didn’t understand why. Though it sounded much worse with the giggles and random facts about Ancient Greece. The facts weren’t even really facts either, mainly Apollo stating how much better it would be if the sea god made a Sally and had a Percy again so he could’ve dated Percy for a couple millennia.
”Apollo for the eighteenth time can you please go sit at the table!”
“But I wanna stay with you! Do you not love me?!” There was the ugly crying. Apollo unlatched himself from the legs close to him, then he rolled over hitting the kitchen island. He balled up and started to wail, Percy could not take this for much longer at all.
“I still love you Apollo, very much but I’d love you so, so much more if you moved to the table!”
“Really?!” Apollo squealed with pure joy before he skipped on over to the dining table. Percy turned around to stir the pot filled with their dinner.
When he didn’t hear a chair scrape against the floor, Percy became worried. Once again turning around he walked around the island to go to the room and saw Apollo lying on the table pants off… Thankfully not completely buck-ass naked, it just wasn’t appreciated at all still, especially on the table.
“Get your pants back on Apollo and if you don’t I won’t love you!” Immediately leaving, he heard Apollo cry out and heard some stumbling around, he was most definitely getting his pants on. Though once again, he didn’t hear the chair being pulled out.
“Get in a chair too!” Wood scraping against marble was soon heard.
~
Surprisingly, making Apollo eat dinner wasn't as difficult as Percy imagined. Yes, it was a horrible experience he’ll never wanna do again but it only had a couple of casualties.
For instance, once the pasta was done and the cheese was combined Apollo started to whine about the fact he was hungry and no matter what Percy did he would not shut up. So therefore Apollo was whiny for another thirty minutes as the Mac and Cheese was being baked in the oven. Percy achieved being the first deaf god after the first ten minutes…
Once dinner was ready Apollo kept screaming beep over, and over because the oven did it. Once again making Percy deaf.
~
The God of Loyalty did not know when the Sun God ate the cookies but it had to be a couple hours ago, if Percy’s luck was actually being nice to him today, that would mean they were only halfway done with the effects. But as Tyche’s domain never liked Percy that wasn’t the case.
Five hours later Apollo was only worse. He kept running around Delos and found the sun chariot keys after tripping on the vanity which wasn’t even near him. How he achieved that nobody would know but Percy didn’t care as making sure Louisiana didn’t get cooked alligator was more important.
“Apollo move over! We need to go back to Delos, it’s not even time for the sun to rise! It still has an hour before I was going to do it for you, please move over now!”
As he was trying to shove Apollo over who was stuck to his seat screaming with joy another chariot slowly approached.
“Do you need help with that?” Snapping his head up, Percy saw Artemis with Thalia. They both were trying to hold in a laugh but they weren’t doing it well as they were both going red.
Sucking in his pride, he spoke, “yes…” With the single word spoken, Thalia jumped onto the chariot and started to help move Apollo out the way. He was pushing back but with as much force as a puppy now.
Soon enough, Percy and Thalia got him fully into the passenger seat, sighing. He thanked Thalia and Artemis as they both flew off, most likely back to the huntresses camp. “You are extremely difficult to deal with, you know that right?” Turning his head he saw Apollo fast asleep.
~
With a grunt, he managed to set Apollo onto the bed without waking him. He was finally sleeping soundly after hours of being an energetic ball. Groaning, Percy changed into his sleep wear and crawled next to him covering both of them in the silk sheets.
This was a long day and the awake god knew damn well he was going to make Apollo sleep on the floor for a decade, but even with the annoyance filling his heart. Percy couldn’t help but smile at his lovers antics. Shifting a little, Percy got comfortable and slipped away into Hypnos’s realm of sleep.
~
“I’m so sorry droplet! I didn’t know they were edibles. I just wanted some, and they were fresh, and warm, and nice, and yours!”