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Five years.
Five years since Clover fell into the Underground. Five years since they made their journey, sparing even the most violent of monsters. Five years since they permanently altered the lives of everyone they encountered.
Five years since they gave up their life so that monsterkind might one day reach the Surface.
Ceroba would be lying if she said that day didn’t replay in her head, again and again. From when she first met them inside the Saloon, to their journey through the Steamworks, to their fight, their final moments – all of it replayed in her head. And every time, she started thinking about what she could’ve said, that she should’ve stayed with them in their final moments and offered them some source of comfort.
That was why she had made it a habit of coming to New Home, to the scene of their battle – it was the only way she could think to honor their legacy.
Sometimes, especially early on, Ceroba would just talk, telling Clover how sorry she was, how much everyone missed them, how she wished things could’ve gone differently, how she wished she had stayed with them in their final moments. She found it therapeutic, in a way, as if Clover was out there, giving her assurances that everything was okay, that they forgave her – even if she didn’t feel she deserved it.
Over time, as Ceroba allowed herself to move on to a degree, she started talking less. On some occasions, she wouldn’t say anything at all, simply taking in the sights of New Home below her. Those occasions had become more and more frequent as of late.
This time would not be one of them.
“Hey, Clover,” she started, her voice quiet. “Time really flies, huh? Hard to believe it’s been five years since you…” Her voice caught for a moment. “…since you fell.”
She took a deep breath.
You’ve done this without breaking before, she thought. You can do it again.
“I… want to say a lot’s changed over the last five years,” Ceroba continued, “and a lot has. But you already know all that, so I’d just be repeating myself.” She paused for a moment. “Having said that… I know I’ve said this a lot, but… if you can hear me, thank you. Thank you for not listening to me. Thank you for… giving me a second chance.”
One I don’t deserve.
“I don’t think I’ll ever figure out why you chose to spare me,” she continued, “or what made Starlo, Martlet… everyone forgive me. I didn’t think I deserved it back then and, if I’m… being honest, I’m not sure I deserve it now.” She smiled slightly. “But… thank you. For giving me this chance.”
She tilted her head downwards. “You know, it’s funny. After you gave up your SOUL, I felt just as terrible as when Kanako fell down. Even with Starlo’s support, I just… fell back into old habits.”
Memories of her sitting in the Saloon with a bottle in her hand, like nothing had changed, of her tossing and turning in bed while she stayed with the Feisty Five, of her being unable to sleep when she first settled back in the Estate because of her guilt pressing down on her – all of it rushed through her head. No matter how hard she tried back then, she couldn’t shake off the guilt of Clover’s death. It haunted her, like all her other failures before it.
Even now, it haunted her.
Ceroba sat in silence for a moment, letting the memories in her head dissipate, before she continued again.
“You were only here for a day. And yet, you had me grieving like I had just…” Her voice caught again. “Like I had just… lost Kanako and Chujin… all over again…”
She inhaled, then exhaled. Her breath was shaky – something it hadn’t been in a while.
I’m not crying, am I?
She lifted her head up and moved a hand to one of her eyes. Still dry.
She took another deep breath, gathered her thoughts, and continued once more.
“I don’t know if you realized this back then, but you touched all of us. The kindness you showed was just… remarkable, even after everything. And that… that’s what makes this hurt, even if it had to be done.”
In spite of all the conflicting emotions within her, Ceroba smiled. “If we get to the Surface, just know… I won’t take everything you did for granted. We won’t take you for granted.”
Having exhausted all that she wanted to say, Ceroba put her hands on the railing she was standing in front of. She took in the sounds of New Home behind her and below her, like she had done ever since she started coming to New Home after Clover passed.
And it was in that moment when something in her broke, when she realized just how much this moment mattered.
And for the first time in a long time, Ceroba started to cry.
Hours later, Ceroba had sat down against the Sakura tree. She had been able to calm down from earlier, though patches of her fur were still slightly wet from her tears. For a moment, she had wished that Starlo was there to comfort her, to reassure her like he had done so many times in the weeks and months following Clover’s passing – but he wasn’t. Ceroba had made it a point to come alone, just like she had done every other time.
With no one coming anytime soon, Ceroba was content to sit against the Sakura tree – a rare bit of colorful nature amidst the gray decor of New Home – for a little while longer.
Then she heard footsteps coming from the bridge she had entered from.
She tilted her head towards the bridge and saw a human wearing a cowboy hat – the same hat that Clover wore – approaching. She staggered to her feet, trying to process what she was seeing.
“Cl–”
She stopped herself as the human ceased their approach. They regarded her with a curious expression – one Ceroba had seen on Clover often. She sighed. Now that she had gotten a good look at them, it was obvious they weren’t Clover. For starters, they had on a blue sweater with pink stripes, something Clover never wore.
“Sorry about that,” she apologized. “That hat belonged to… someone very important.”
She watched as the expression on the human’s face morphed from one of curiosity to one of apprehension. Did they think that she was going to fight them?
“Don’t worry,” Ceroba quickly added, “I don’t plan on fighting you.” She watched as the apprehension on the human’s face eased somewhat. “Why don’t we start over? My name is Ceroba.”
At this, the human perked up, any apprehension gone. “Hi.” They took off the cowboy hat and held it towards her. “Do you want this…?”
Their voice shocked Ceroba for a moment. While their voice lacked Clover’s accent, it sounded just as young as theirs did. They couldn’t have been much younger than Clover was – meaning that another child would have to lose their SOUL for the sake of another war that monsters might not even win.
She shoved that thought down; it wasn’t fair, but she didn’t want to come unglued in front of a child she had just met.
“No, it’s alright,” she said. “I think it’s best if you keep it. Just… keep it safe, if you could.”
The human smiled, nodded, and put it back on their head. But there was something bothering Ceroba: if that was Clover’s hat, then where had the human gotten it? How did they get it?
“Where did you get that hat from, if you don’t mind me asking?” she asked.
“I bought it,” the human said.
…What?
That couldn’t have been right – the last place Clover’s hat had been was at Waterfall. So how did this human suddenly be able to buy it?
At a loss, she simply repeated, “…You bought it.”
“Yep!”
Ceroba sighed. “And… where did you buy it from?”
“These two monsters who were selling trash,” the human said. They pulled out a gun that looked identical to Clover’s – because of course it did. “They were also selling this!”
Ceroba could only stare blankly at the human.
Oh. Oh no.
Their hat and gun must’ve ended up in the Garbage Dump. Ceroba had never considered that of all places that’s where Clover’s belongings would end up. None of them had.
“That’s…” She shook her head. “Wow.”
“I know,” the human said. “Cost a lot, though…”
Ceroba slid back down against the tree. “In that case, you should definitely hold onto them. Wouldn’t want all that G you spent going to waste.”
I doubt Clover’s ever going to need them again, anyway.
Ceroba turned her attention away from the human and up towards the ceiling, taking in the silence just as she had done before – a silence that was promptly undone when the human plopped down next to her.
“This is nice,” they said.
She couldn’t disagree with them there.
“Do you live here?” they asked.
Ceroba shook her head. “No, I don’t. I just come here sometimes for… business.”
She looked at the human, who stared back at her with a curious expression. It was similar to how Clover would look at her whenever they had a pressing question on their mind.
“Where are you from?” the human asked.
“I’m from the Wild East,” Ceroba explained. She noticed the human’s confused look. “I’m guessing you haven’t heard of it.”
The human shook their head.
“It wouldn’t be on the route you took,” Ceroba continued. “It’s a little… out of the way, you could say. The fastest way to get there would be through the Steamworks, but it’s in pretty bad shape.”
“Oh, I actually went to the Steamworks!” the human said.
“You did?”
The human nodded. “I wanted to get further in, but… the elevator was broken.”
Ceroba hummed. “That’s weird… I used it to get here earlier, and it functioned fine then. I wonder if someone tampered with it…”
It might be for the best, she thought. I’m not too sure how Axis would react to them.
“I wouldn’t worry about it, then,” Ceroba continued. “Besides, you probably have things to do, don’t you?”
The human nodded.
“Well, I shouldn’t keep you then.” She smiled. “It was nice to meet you.”
The human pushed themself onto their feet and waved goodbye at her. As they started to leave, though, a thought entered Ceroba’s mind. It had been on her mind ever since she had gotten over her shock of seeing the human, and now its presence was too strong to ignore.
Is their SOUL… pure?
The idea of the human’s SOUL being pure was, admittedly, a bitter one – Ceroba remembered all too well how she jumped at Clover’s SOUL being pure solely so she could use them to complete her mission. But even at the time, she knew that meant Clover hadn’t killed anyone. And maybe, if she was lucky, this human (unknowingly) followed in Clover’s footsteps.
She checked them, and she smiled. They hadn’t killed a single monster.
“Wait, before you go,” Ceroba called out, rushing up to her feet, “promise me, no matter what, that you’ll keep being peaceful.”
The human smiled. “I promise.”
“Thank you.”
The human left, and Ceroba was once again alone with her thoughts. It was only at that point that she realized something – the human might’ve gone to the Royal Lab. They might’ve found that door Martlet told her about. Given that they more than likely traversed through Hotland, they had to have seen it, right?
Ceroba dashed out of the balcony and into New Home proper. Luckily for her, the human hadn’t gone far. In fact, they were standing just to her right.
“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized, “but I just had one more thing to ask. Have you been to the Royal Lab, by any chance?”
The human nodded.
“Did you happen to see anything out of the ordinary?” she asked.
“Out of the ordinary…?” the human repeated, confused. “What… specifically?”
“A friend of mine told me that there’s a door leading to the real lab,” Ceroba explained. She frowned as the confused look on the human’s face remained. “You… haven’t seen it, have you?”
The human sighed. “I-I’m sorry, but I haven’t.”
And just like that, all the wind was taken out of Ceroba’s sails.
Really, she should’ve expected this. She had been trying to get Kanako for over five years, and she had failed at every turn. It only stood to reason that now, even as monsterkind was so close to being freed, she failed yet again.
She sighed, trying very, very hard to contain her disappointment. “That’s… that’s alright. Thank you for telling me.”
The human cocked their head. Evidently, Ceroba didn’t do a good job of containing the despair that had washed over her. But she had held them up for long enough, and she had already let them go once. She figured she ought not to take up any more of their time.
“I-I promise, it’s okay,” she reassured them, forcing a smile that almost appeared genuine. “I’ve kept you long enough. You better get going.”
The human still didn’t seem too sure but ultimately bid Ceroba farewell again. She watched them leave before turning back to the balcony. Only once she re-entered the balcony did she let herself feel the brunt of despair and anguish that she had already done a poor job of keeping hidden from the human.
She didn’t know why it hurt so badly this time. The countless other times when she thought she could get Kanako back only to have that hope snatched away hurt as well, but somehow this specific instance hurt so much more.
As she leaned against the balcony’s northernmost railing, one thought played in her head over and over – a thought she had heard many times.
This is what you deserve.
Ceroba wasn’t anticipating any more visitors. The human’s arrival was a shock, but it was one that she figured would be a one-off. It left more time for her to stew in her thoughts about the future of monsterkind once the barrier was broken, her cynical thoughts on how monsters would be received by humans on the Surface, about how she might never see Kanako again, about Clover, about Chujin, about Starlo and Martlet – all those thoughts and more swam in her mind without rest.
When she first heard the sounds of someone’s approach, coupled by progressively louder mumbling, she didn’t pay it any mind; she figured it may have just been a nervous monster coming to appreciate the Sakura tree or the view of New Home.
Then they spoke.
“M-miss Ketsukane…?”
Ceroba was snapped out of her thoughts. She straightened herself and looked behind her – keeping one arm on the railing – and was met with the royal scientist herself.
She stared at Alphys, her mouth slightly open in shock, for what felt like minutes. Alphys, in turn, stared right back at her with an expression that betrayed incredible nervousness. It was an uneasy silence, one that lasted until Ceroba’s mind reset and all her lingering resentment towards the royal scientist came to the forefront.
But she didn’t lash out, nor did she yell at her. Instead, she tersely said, “Dr. Alphys.”
The royal scientist messed with her hands for a moment. “A few years ago… a request was sent out, asking monsters for family members that had fallen down. You… sent your daughter, Kanako.”
That got her attention. How could it not? That request was what made Ceroba send Kanako to the Lab to begin with, which led her to almost kill Clover for their SOUL.
Before Alphys could continue any more, Ceroba interrupted her. “Right, I sent her to the Lab, and I haven’t seen her since. And I called over and over and over asking where she was, and you never answered.”
“I… I’m sorry,” Alphys apologized. “It… it wasn’t right to not tell you… or everyone else, what happened. It wasn’t right to not answer any of your calls.” She looked to the side, away from Ceroba’s gaze. “When I called you, telling you that you were going to get Kanako back… at the time, that wasn’t a lie.”
Ceroba remembered that conversation vividly. She remembered how happy she was hearing that Kanako was awake and that she’d be home the following day. She equally remembered how that day came and went with Kanako never showing up and the spiral that sent her down.
“I… injected Kanako’s body with a substance known as determination, along with all the other bodies,” Alphys continued, looking back at Ceroba. “B-but… our bodies can’t handle that. A-and I only found this out… after I’d called you.”
Whatever anger remained in Ceroba dissipated. In all the time she spent hating Alphys for not getting back to her, for locking herself away and not giving any explanation as to what happened to Kanako, she hadn’t considered that Alphys had just… panicked. She had been handed a tough situation, and she panicked.
Ceroba knew all too well that making decisions in the midst of a panic was never good.
She took a deep breath. “I… I see,” she said, trying to maintain as calm a voice as she could reasonably manage. “Thank you for telling me.” She paused. “What… happened to Kanako, then?”
“K-Kanako…” Alphys started, looking as if she was trying to find the right words, “she… well, uh… she’s fine, but–”
Alphys was interrupted by another voice – one Ceroba hadn’t heard in years.
“Mom…?”
Ceroba stood in stunned silence. She couldn’t believe what she had heard – she almost didn’t want to believe it. It seemed too good to be true.
She watched Alphys look back behind her, chuckle nervously, then move over slightly. That gave Ceroba the perfect view of the source of the voice – a young, slightly goopy, grayscale fox with pitch black eyes with dark blue streaks coming out of them. A fox that looked just like her daughter, even with her altered appearance.
Ceroba ran towards Kanako and enveloped her in a hug, tears streaming down her face. Kanako returned the hug. Ceroba’s mind swam with all sorts of things that she wanted to say to her daughter, but one thought won out in the end.
“Kanako, I…” She sniffled. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… I should never have injected you with that serum.”
“It’s… okay…” Kanako said, her voice weak. “I… wanted you to…” Her grip on Ceroba tightened. “…I missed you…”
“I missed you, too,” Ceroba said. She smiled. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you again.”
They remained in each other’s embrace, neither fox wanting it to end. Eventually, though, Ceroba finally released her embrace on Kanako, who, after a moment of hesitation, followed suit. Ceroba turned behind her and watched Alphys slowly approach her and Kanako.
“Is this what you were getting at about Kanako?” Ceroba asked.
Alphys nodded. “Yes. She… she wasn’t supposed to come in j-just yet…” She paused for a moment. “B-but that’s fine!” She glanced to the side. “It's… probably better this way, anyway.”
Ceroba glanced down to her right side and saw Kanako looking at Alphys. As glad as she was to have her daughter back, she couldn’t help but worry about the fates of the other monsters.
“Was this what happened to all of the other monsters you injected?” Ceroba asked, looking back at Alphys.
Alphys looked back at Ceroba. “Not… not exactly…” She inhaled. “L-like I said earlier… monsters’ bodies can’t handle determination… or at least, not too much of it. S-so, when I injected them with determination… th-they all started to melt into each other.”
Ceroba’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe what those monsters had to endure – the idea of one’s body melting alone sounded unpleasant, to put it kindly, but to melt into another monster? And with how Alphys phrased it, seemingly more than one? She got shivers just thinking about it.
She glanced down at Kanako again, concern rising in her chest. Did she…?
Her train of thought was interrupted by the royal scientist. “E-except…!” She paused. “Kanako… Sh-she didn’t melt into anyone.”
Ceroba let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. It may have been selfish, but she was glad her daughter didn’t suffer too grizzly of a fate – though even if she had, she still would’ve loved Kanako all the same.
“Her form used to b-be a lot worse, actually,” Alphys continued. “But… it’s stable, f-for now. You should know, though, that she… uh… might melt into a puddle sometimes. O-or shift into a… a spoon. B-but she prefers the form she’s in now, a-and hopefully over time she’s able to maintain it more easily.”
Ceroba nodded. Just another thing to contend with, she figured. But after all she’d been through – after all Kanako had been through – having to deal with the latter’s ever-shifting form seemed relatively minor. Even if she knew that Kanako would use it to mess with her or otherwise cause a ruckus.
“Again, I’m so, so sorry about… everything,” Alphys apologized. “I wish that I never p-performed that experiment… b-but the least I can do now is o-own up to it.” She paused for a moment. “I… don’t expect you to forgive me, honestly. I don’t deserve it.”
The similarities between what Alphys was saying and what Ceroba thought for months after Clover’s death rang deep in the kitsune’s SOUL. She had known what it was like to be stuck in that mindset, believing that she was undeserving of anything good; a mindset she still, after all this time, hadn’t quite broken out of. And while that alone didn’t dispel the lingering (if petty) resentment she held towards the royal scientist, it was enough for her to not outright hate Alphys’s guts.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Alphys nervously clearing her throat.
“A-anyways, I have to go,” she said. “A friend called me a little bit ago, a-and I’ve already been here long enough, so… I’ll just leave you to it…!” She started making her way out, but abruptly turned to the Ketsukanes, her eyes locked squarely on Kanako. “A-and Kanako… I know I-I’ve said this already, but I’m… so, so sorry. None of this should’ve happened to you.”
You’re right… Ceroba bitterly thought, directing her anger largely at herself. It shouldn’t have.
Kanako tilted her head slightly, then walked over to Alphys. Without missing a beat, she enveloped the royal scientist in a hug not too unsimilar to the one she gave to Ceroba.
“I… forgive you…” Kanako said. She released Alphys and then walked back to Ceroba’s side.
Alphys stood in silence for a moment. It reminded Ceroba of how she felt when Clover hugged her after their battle, how it felt so undeserved and yet so comforting all at once. It became a moment that she would always go back to, wondering why Clover showed her such kindness right after she had tried to kill them.
She felt Kanako nudge her, inviting her to say something. Even after all she’d been through, she was still the kind daughter that brought Ceroba and Chujin such joy.
“Thank you, Dr. Alphys,” Ceroba said, her voice lacking any venom despite her grudges.
It was a simple, bland remark, but it got a smile out of Alphys, even if it was a nervous one.
“I-I…” Alphys stammered. She took a deep breath. “Th-thank you both for your kind words. Take care, you two.” With that, she left.
Ceroba watched the royal scientist leave before turning to Kanako and wrapping her up in another hug. A part of her was afraid that all of this was fake, something her mind had cooked up while she had fallen asleep against the railing. Yet the more time passed, the more everything seemed real.
For once, something finally went right in her life, and she couldn’t be happier.
Ceroba wasn’t quite sure how the barrier broke, nor was Kanako. All she remembered was one moment she was talking to Kanako, trying to catch her up on all that she missed, then a flash of white light hit her, and then she woke up. What happened in-between getting hit with the flash of light and her waking up, she didn’t know.
What she did know – after finding out from all the messages Martlet and Starlo had sent her on Undernet – was that the barrier had been broken, and that the war was off. Monsterkind was finally, finally free. Everyone would get to see the Surface.
Ceroba couldn’t believe it. It all seemed too good to be true. First her daughter re-entered her life, then the barrier broke and finally freed monsterkind, and then the war got called off. She couldn’t help but think that she was dreaming again.
She was ripped out of her thoughts by a tug on her sleeve. She looked down and saw Kanako staring up at her with eyes that, though lacking in any sort of pupils or color aside from the blue streaks coming out of them, showed concern.
And that’s when she could truly acknowledge that she wasn’t living in some fantasy her mind had cooked up for her. It was all real.
She gave Kanako a smile. “I’m okay. I promise.”
Before Kanako could say anything, the two Ketsukanes heard footsteps behind them. Ceroba looked behind her and saw Frisk approaching them, still wearing Clover’s hat. It was in no worse shape than it was the last time she saw it. She smiled at that fact, and at Frisk’s presence in general.
“Hi, Ceroba,” they greeted her. They looked to Ceroba’s right, at the gray, slightly melted fox next to her.
“It’s nice to see you again, Frisk,” Ceroba said. She gestured at Kanako. “This is my daughter, Kanako. Dr. Alphys brought her back… not too long before the barrier broke, actually.” She chuckled. “It was good you weren’t here for either of those occasions. I was a mess. A good mess, but…”
She let that train of thought end with a chuckle and a shake of her head. “Kanako, why don’t you introduce yourself?”
She hated having to push Kanako to introduce herself to others like she was still a toddler, but she had been isolated from everyone for five years. A little pushing here and there wouldn’t hurt, right?
Kanako looked at Frisk for a moment. She took one step towards Frisk, then another, her head tilted up towards Clover’s hat.
She giggled. “You… look like… Uncle Star…”
Frisk raised an eyebrow.
“He’s a friend of mine,” Ceroba clarified. “He’s from the Wild East, like Kanako and I.”
Frisk nodded in understanding. Their gaze returned to Kanako. Ceroba watched as they opened their mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. It seemed as if they were searching for something to say, but Ceroba didn’t know what exactly.
Before they could decide on what to say, though, Kanako hugged them. Frisk hesitated for a moment – likely from the same shock Ceroba was experiencing – before hugging her back.
“Thank… you…” she said, her voice just loud enough for Ceroba to hear. “Now I can… can be with my Mom…”
“You’re welcome,” Frisk said. “I’m happy to see you’re doing better.” They glanced up at Ceroba, a somewhat nervous smile on their face. “I, uh… found that door you were talking about.”
Ceroba couldn’t help but smile. “I can see that,” she joked. She paused for a moment. “Thank you, Frisk. I really mean that.” She added, quiet enough so that no one would hear, “Clover’s got competition now…”
“Who’s… Clover…?”
Apparently, she wasn’t quiet enough.
Ceroba’s eyes went wide – she didn’t mean for either Frisk or Kanako to hear her. She stammered for a bit, fumbling through her words as her mind tried to piece together an apt summary of Clover.
“They… were a human,” she eventually settled on, “like you, Frisk. They fell down a few years ago, and…”
Memories flooded through Ceroba’s mind, both good and bad, but she kept herself from breaking.
“They gave up their SOUL for monsterkind,” she continued.
Frisk looked at her with a… remarkable amount of familiarity, like they had known this already. She decided not to question it, at least for now.
“At the time, I thought they were the most selfless, caring human I would ever meet,” Ceroba said. “They spared even the most violent of monsters, even ones that might not have deserved it. But… I think Frisk might just have them beat.”
Frisk tipped their hat. “Thank you…” they murmured. “I’m… sorry about what happened to them.”
Ceroba could’ve sworn she saw their eyes, for just a moment, dart to their right, as if they were looking for something. Some one . And just as soon as she saw, their attention snapped right back to her as if nothing had happened. Before Ceroba could question them, though, Kanako spoke.
“They sound… nice…”
Ceroba smiled a bit. “They were,” she agreed. “You would’ve liked them, Kanako.” She turned to Frisk. “And… maybe you would’ve as well, Frisk.”
At that, Frisk smiled. “Maybe…” They coughed. “A-anyways, I’ll leave you guys to it.”
“Take care, Frisk,” Ceroba said. “And again, thank you for everything.”
“Bye… Frisk…” Kanako added. “It was… nice meeting you…”
Frisk waved at the two foxes and departed, leaving Ceroba alone with her daughter once more. Though she had plans to visit the Wild East later, she decided that she could put those off for a little bit longer. She wanted to enjoy the quiet with Kanako before dealing with all the festivities that Starlo was no doubt planning. That, and Kanako being back was going to be a cause for celebration as well.
So for the time being, she was content to enjoy the sights and silence with her daughter – that was, until Frisk returned.
Ceroba was telling Kanako – who had been eager to learn more about Clover given that Ceroba had only explained the beginning and end of their journey (and she was covering the bare minimum on both ends) – about her and Clover’s journey through the Steamworks. Even though she wound up trying to kill them in the end, she still held onto those memories fondly and happily shared them with Kanako, taking great joy in explaining how Clover had created a companion for Axis all by themself.
She broke out of her storytelling only when she heard the increasingly familiar sound of Frisk’s footsteps, much faster than they were the prior two times they had entered the balcony.
What are they doing here? Ceroba thought. As Frisk got closer and Ceroba got a better look at them, her eyes widened, another thought entering her head. And where’s Clover’s hat?
“Frisk,” Ceroba said as Frisk parked themself right in-between her and Kanako, trying not to sound too surprised, “you’re back.”
They nodded and didn’t elaborate, a smile on their face.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you want to talk to us again, and we enjoy the company,” she continued, “but… I’m sure there are other monsters that you want to be with. Don’t let us distract you too much.”
There was a brief silence, during which Ceroba expected Frisk to say something or leave. When they did neither of these things, she sighed.
“Well, if you’re going to stay here, then can I ask you one thing?” she started. Upon seeing a… shockingly eager nod from Frisk, she continued. “What happened to your hat?”
“I gave it to Clover,” they said.
Ceroba froze.
“…What did you just say?” she asked after she spent a moment gathering her thoughts.
“I gave my hat to Clover,” Frisk repeated. “They asked for it back, so I gave it to them.”
“That’s impossible…” Ceroba muttered. “They gave up their SOUL. They shouldn’t be able to come back.”
She looked at Frisk, and despite every cynical thought in her head yelling at her that Frisk had to be mistaken, or that they were playing some ill-conceived joke, she couldn’t help but believe them. They wouldn’t be telling her this if it wasn’t true, and Frisk didn’t seem like the type to tell such a callous lie anyways.
“Would I be telling you this if Clover wasn’t alive?” Frisk asked, echoing Ceroba’s thoughts.
She smiled. “…No, no you wouldn’t. I need to tell everyone. They’ll all be so happy, especially Martlet…” She exhaled. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. They have things they want to do, I imagine.” She chuckled. “Still, they better not take too long.”
“I want to see how that goes,” Frisk sighed, “but I can’t.”
Ceroba nodded. “Right, you have places to be, don’t you?” Upon seeing them nod, she continued. “We won’t keep you, then. Take care, Frisk, and, again, thank you for everything. Stay in touch, won’t you?”
Frisk smiled. “I’ll try.” With that, they left.
It took a moment after Frisk left for Ceroba to collect herself. Clover, someone that she thought she’d never see again, was back. Against all odds, somehow they were alive. She didn’t know how such a thing could happen – and she didn’t think to ask Frisk – but, at the moment, she couldn’t find it in herself to care about it all that much. All that mattered was that they were alive again, and they would be able to see the fruits of their sacrifice.
She had to figure out how she was going to tell everyone, especially Martlet and Starlo. They had witnessed Clover offer to sacrifice themself and had then accompanied Ceroba to Asgore with Clover’s SOUL in the container she had brought. How was she going to explain to them that Clover was alive again?
Her daughter’s voice broke her out of her thoughts.
“Mom…?”
She turned to Kanako, who was gazing up at her with a curious expression – or at least, as curious of an expression as she could muster in her condition.
“Yes, dear?” Ceroba asked.
“Does this… mean I get to… meet Clover…?”
Ceroba smiled. “It does.”
“I… can’t wait…” Kanako said, somehow managing to sound at once exhausted and excited. Then after a moment, she added, “I’m… tired…”
Ceroba watched as Kanako melted ever so slightly. She had to wonder just how much energy Kanako was expending keeping her form stable – Alphys never specified, only that it’d get easier to maintain. Which, Ceroba realized, likely meant that Kanako wouldn’t have to expend so much energy to keep her fox form. How long that would take, she didn’t know.
For now, though, Ceroba decided not to push her luck.
“Let’s get you home,” she said. “I can’t promise we’ll get there right away, though. Star and the others might want to see you again.”
At the mention of Starlo, Kanako perked up. Her form stabilized somewhat.
“I want to… see them…” she said.
Ceroba smiled. “If that’s the case, then we should get going.”
As the two foxes finally began to leave, Ceroba cast one final glance back to the balcony. The site of her battle with Clover, the spot where they gave up their SOUL, the place she had constantly come to honor them, was filled largely with bitter memories. Today, though, she knew would be the exception. One that she would cherish forever.
The remainder of Ceroba’s day was as chaotic as she thought it would be.
Like she had suspected, Starlo was indeed throwing a party in the Saloon to celebrate the barrier being broken. And also like she had suspected, the minute she walked in with Kanako, he made the party about her return as well – after Ceroba had explained to Starlo, Martlet, the rest of the Feisty Five, and anyone else that cared to listen what Alphys had told her. They had reacted surprisingly well; Starlo was especially happy that Kanako was back, even with the state she was in. Likewise, Kanako seemed remarkably eager to see Starlo again, any prior exhaustion she had vanishing for a time.
Eventually, once things had settled down a bit, Ceroba found herself sitting with herself, Kanako, Starlo, and Martlet. And it was there where she dropped her second batch of news.
Starlo and Martlet were overjoyed to hear that Clover was back, though Ceroba did have to temper their excitement with the caveat that Clover had things they probably wanted to do (and also the fact that she had absolutely zero clue as to where they were to begin with), so they likely weren’t going to see them today. That didn’t stop Starlo from announcing Clover’s sudden return to the rest of the Saloon, which necessitated another celebration.
Though the festivities were tiresome, Ceroba knew that they were very much needed. She knew – when she wasn’t busy drowning in her own grief – how hard Clover’s death had hit Starlo and Martlet. Like her, they never forgave themselves for letting Clover give up their SOUL, even if they were able to eventually move on and handle their grief in healthier ways than Ceroba did. So to see Starlo ramble about how excited he was to regale Clover with tales of the Wild East, to see Martlet excited at the prospect of inviting Clover to stay with her if they had nowhere to go – it brought a smile to her face.
Eventually, though, things finally, truly began to wind down. Martlet was the first to leave, stating that she wanted to fly around the Surface for a bit. Ceroba had the feeling that she also wanted to see Clover in the event they made it to the Surface by the end of the day, but she didn’t say anything – not until Martlet had already left, at least.
Sitting there with Starlo and Kanako caused her mind to wander to all the times she brought Kanako to the Wild East, how she and Starlo had taken to each other so fast, how they carried on with their antics – she had missed those moments, and it was apparent that Starlo and Kanako felt similarly. Ceroba couldn’t help but smile while imagining what they’d do on the Surface, even if a part of her was terrified of what access to the Surface would do to their normal antics.
Exhaustion eventually hit Kanako, however, and she and Ceroba bid farewell to Starlo and left, with a promise to meet again in the Saloon the next morning.
As they made their way back to the Estate, Ceroba noticed familiarity enter through Kanako’s “eyes”, even in her exhausted, somewhat destabilized state. When they finally got to the Estate’s gate and Ceroba unlocked it, Kanako made her way in almost immediately. Even with how tired she was and how her form was destabilizing somewhat, Ceroba could tell that Kanako was genuinely excited to be home. Kanako’s exhaustion promptly caught up with her when Ceroba caught up to her, though, so Ceroba had her go straight to bed.
Tucking her in bed and finally being able to perform their nightly routine again left Ceroba, for the first time in a long while, feeling whole again. The void in her SOUL, one that she had opened up because of her worst mistake, had finally closed. And for the first time in a long, long time, she was able to peacefully fall asleep in her bed and not be plagued by guilt.
“So, when do you plan on leavin’?”
Ceroba eyed Starlo. She had expected to hear this question, but even with that expectation she didn’t have a solid answer for him. Kanako not giving a clear indication of when she wanted to head up to the Surface didn’t help either.
“I… don’t know,” Ceroba admitted. “But seeing how nearly everyone else has left, probably soon.”
Logically, she knew that she was going to have to leave for the Surface sooner rather than later. Most monsters had left the Underground either the day prior or early in the morning, and even in the normally bustling Saloon, it was as empty as she had ever seen it. She had no reason to stay in the Underground, especially with Kanako energized again.
Yet, for some reason, she held onto the faintest of hope that Clover would pay one more visit to the Wild East. Maybe it was so they could meet Kanako for the first time, maybe it was so she didn’t have to go out of her way to find them on the Surface, or maybe it was because she wanted to (re)accompany them to the Surface – she didn’t know. Not that she wasn’t enjoying talking to Starlo for what was likely to be their last time in the Underground, she very much was, but her mind kept trying to get the point across that she was keeping herself from the Surface for no reason.
“I’ll probably just leave with you and Kanako,” Starlo said, his voice breaking Ceroba out of her thoughts. “My folks don’t need my help right now, so I’m good to go whenever you are.”
“You don’t have to stay with us, Star,” Ceroba said.
Starlo flashed his usual, North Star-esque grin. “And miss out on seein’ the Surface with you and Kanako? Heck no.”
Ceroba couldn’t help but smile. Even after all these years, she didn’t know what she did to deserve someone like Starlo.
“Thanks, Star.”
Something told her, though, that, while he was undoubtedly being honest about wanting to see the Surface with her and Kanako, something else was playing a role. Some one else. And though she didn’t say anything, Ceroba had a decent idea as to who they were.
If nothing else, the thought of Starlo also wanting to see Clover before going to the Surface put some of her self-directed concerns at ease.
“Mom…?” Kanako called out. Her voice, though somewhat stronger than it was yesterday, was still much weaker than what it was before she fell down. Regardless, Ceroba heard it all the same.
She turned to her left with a hum and saw Kanako on the stool next to her. She had been working on something – a drawing, Ceroba figured – ever since the two had gotten to the Saloon. It reminded her of when Kanako had spent nights putting together the mask she made, the mask Ceroba had used when she fought Clover, the mask that wound up being irreparably broken because she was too stubborn to know when to back down.
It was a bitter memory, but one she had ultimately come to terms with. If nothing else, she was just happy to see Kanako making things again.
“I wanted… to show you… something…” Kanako said, holding up her drawing.
Ceroba leaned in a little to get a better look at the drawing. All the years spent in the Lab had evidently not robbed Kanako of her skill in the slightest, as Ceroba could plainly see. But unlike prior drawings or projects, Kanako’s drawing was of a human.
Despite having never drawn a human before (not even after what happened in Snowdin), Ceroba was impressed. Though the drawing was a rough sketch lacking in any color, it still featured a remarkable amount of detail, from the human’s cowboy hat, their bandana, their vest…
…and then it hit Ceroba just who Kanako had drawn, and she felt like an idiot for not noticing sooner.
“Kanako, this…” She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “This is incredible. It looks just like Clover.”
Kanako beamed like she would whenever Ceroba or Chujin praised what she had made. “Thank you…” She set the drawing on the bar counter. “I… heard what you… said about Clover and… thought I’d make something…”
“Well, you did a great job!” Ceroba said. She turned to Starlo. “Star, you have to–”
Her sentence died in her throat when she saw the expression on Starlo’s face. He looked surprised, his eyes wide. His gaze wasn’t on her, either – rather, it seemed as if it was on something behind her.
Curious, she looked behind her, trying to see what had attracted Starlo’s attention – and that’s when she saw them.
Is that…?
Her eyes widened. Had Frisk not told them they were back, or had Starlo not seen them as well, she would’ve thought her mind was playing tricks on her.
“Clover!” she called out at the same time as Starlo.
They both rushed over to Clover, wrapping them in a hug that seemed not too unlike the one they had wrapped them in before they gave their SOUL up. And even despite having the knowledge that they were back already, tears still flowed out of Ceroba’s eyes.
When the tears finally dried up, Ceroba took a deep breath and released her grip on Clover. She looked to her side and noticed Kanako had joined her, regarding Clover with curiosity. She was holding her drawing close to her, the blank side of the paper facing Clover.
“Clover,” Starlo said, breaking the silence, his voice low, “we missed you. More than you could ever know.”
Ceroba nodded her head in agreement. Truthfully, she didn’t know what she could say.
“It feels good to be back,” Clover said. They sounded considerably less tired than Ceroba had imagined – but then, that may have just been because they had rested the night before. Likely with Martlet, if Ceroba’s hunch was right.
It took a moment before Ceroba finally figured out what she was going to say. Before she could say anything, though, Kanako beat her to the punch.
“You must… be Clover…” she said, approaching Clover slowly.
They nodded. “That’s me.”
“I’m Kanako…” Ceroba watched as Kanako turned her drawing around and held it out for Clover. “I heard a lot… about you, so… I drew… you…”
Clover took her drawing of them and looked at it for a moment. They broke out into a wide grin, and started praising Kanako for the drawing.
Seeing Kanako perk up and start rambling about how she liked to draw and all the projects she made – which Ceroba had seen first hand, and one of which she had shown to Clover while they were in the Steamworks – brought a smile to Ceroba’s face. It seemed as if her suspicion that Clover and Kanako would’ve been good friends had proven true.
Ceroba was content to let Kanako and Clover talk for a bit before she said anything. She had even made her way back to her seat with Starlo before Clover came running up to her and, like they had done in the Steamworks, tugged on her kimono.
“Oh, Clover!” she said. “Sorry, I thought you were still talking with Kana–”
She was cut off as Clover pulled her into a hug. She hesitated for a moment, caught off-guard by Clover’s sudden hug, before she returned the gesture. She let the embrace continue in silence for a bit, until she finally had the opportunity to say what she wanted.
“Welcome back, Clover.”