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Mary’s eyes fluttered awake to the darkness of her room. She could feel her bed beneath her, but had no recollection as to how she arrived there. She heard a rustling at her side and realized she was not alone.
A match was stuck and lit the small lamp on her dresser. Miss Hastings imposing façade was revealed. "Ah, good evening Nurse Phinney."
Mary blinked slowly. Why was Nurse Hastings in her room? The last thing she could remember, she was checking on Private Smith and then … blackness.
"Why am I here?" Mary asked, blinking to adjust to the candlelight.
Anne sat at the edge of the bed nearest to Mary’s feet. "It seems that you became overcome while on your rounds. Not to worry, one of the porters caught you and I instructed him to take you here."
Mary shook her head. "I must get back to my rounds."
Anne gave a crooked smile. "Oh I shouldn't worry about that. You should rest."
"I'm fine. I merely neglected to eat. I shall be right as rain after I have a bite."
"Perhaps." Nurse Hasting's smug smile persisted.
Mary felt the pit of her stomach drop. "Do you have a diagnosis of your own? Are you a doctor now?"
Anne laughed. "Certainly not. But I've been around enough females who have been stung by a serpent to know when I'm in the presence of one."
Mary sat back against her headboard. "I'm afraid I don't know the phrase."
Anne scoffed. "Oh please. Your little game is up."
"As usual I haven't a clue what you're speaking of."
Anne scanned Mary's face. She let out a series of laughs before stopping. "My goodness, you really don't know, do you?"
"Perhaps you would care to enlighten me. I have much to do."
"You my dear, are pregnant. There now, could I have put it any plainer?"
Mary’s chest felt as though it was caving in. She closed her eyes. No… it wasn't possible. She had never managed, in all her trying, to conceive with Gustav. And Jed had no children either. There had been no sickness that she knew accompanied most pregnancies, but she had been more tired as of late. No, it couldn’t be true. Surely she would have been the first to know.
Mary shook her head. "It's not possible."
Anne’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Did a doctor tell you that? Of course modern medicine is always quick to blame our sex.”
She had never been to see a Doctor regarding her problems. Gustav had gotten sick after they had been trying for eighteen months. She and Jed had been careful, most of the time, except for the few times they had been overcome…
"Of course, I can’t judge you for seeking comfort during this difficult time, and I’m sure you both took precautions. A sponge soaked in vinegar? A rubber sheath? Tracking your courses and your activities? Tell me, at the very least, that he had the sense to withdraw?” Anne scanned Mary’s face. “No? I should have thought that the Doctor was someone who looked after his business, but evidently not. Cuiusvis est hominis est errare; nullis nisi insipientis in errore perseverare."
Mary’s face flushed red, closing her eyes. She could have slapped Miss Hastings for her familiarity. She could have also slapped herself for her naïveté. She had never been regular, but it had never been any longer than five weeks between them. And it had been nearly two months since Antietam. Two months since they had first sought comfort with one another and not a night had been spent apart since.
She heard the floor board creak and her eyes opened to see Jed, looming in the doorway.
"Cicero again Miss Hastings? What mistake is this?" Jed’s voice boomed from the door as he stepped inside the small room.
A wide smile crept along her face. “I’ll leave you to discover that.” Anne stood up, sweeping out the door.
Jed shut it firmly behind him, moving towards the bed, and sitting much closer to Mary than Anne had. Jed’s hand swept across her cheek. “I’d ask you if you were alright, but as you just spent several minutes alone with her-“
She luxuriated in the feeling of his hand across her cheek, the moment before she would have to tell him of everything she now suspected. She envied his ignorance. “What did the Cicero quote mean?”
“I think it roughly translates to, ‘any man can make mistakes, but only a fool persists in his errors.’ What inane hospital business was she going on about now?” He looked into her eyes with such love, such concern. Tears began to spill over, and he caught them wiping them away gently with his thumbs. “What did she say to you? I’ll have her gone from this hospital before she can say Florence-“
Mary covered Jed’s hands with hers, clasping them and sliding them down to rest in her lap. “She says that I’m pregnant Jed.”
Jed’s hands went limp in hers. He looked away from her suddenly.
What was he thinking about? Was he regretting their time together? The passion they had shared? Did he wish her gone from his sight? Had he really loved her, as he’d claimed in the dark of night after their love making? After several moments, his eyes met hers again. Before she could stop herself the sobs began to rack her body.
Jed lifted her bed covers, sliding in beside her, his arms enfolding her as her head came to rest on his shoulder. Later they would have to talk about what they would do, but now, he held her close, and kissed her hair as she fought through all of the fear of the unknown, the shame of their foolishness, and hope for the new life they had formed.