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In the end, all of Dolphin’s efforts are for nothing.
Whatever rumors of Shaun suddenly becoming a deadly pvper had spread on Project Unknown, the gossip about how ‘oh, it was Dolphin all along, actually’ spread even faster. By the time everyone returned to Infuse, it seemed like everyone knew.
Days pass and the gossip still doesn’t let up. Dolphin can’t even have a single normal day without hearing it, one way or another.
Today, she’s climbing out of a mineshaft in a mesa biome when she overhears Stormz telling Dumb about it.
“I mean, of course it was Dolphin,” Stormz is saying, not even bothering to keep his voice down even though Dolphin knows that he can see his outer layer. “The way they were fighting— no way that could have been Shaun. I’ve never seen her sweat that hard in a fight, ever. And jumping someone like that?” Stormz breaks into a laugh. “He got me with the voice recordings, I’ll admit that, but, yeah. I can’t believe he had everyone fooled for so long.”
Dolphin wants to go right up to them and slaughter them both.
Stormz talks like Shaun wasn’t the one who landed the killing blows on both him and Squid back during that whole Disciple bullshit. She might not fight as much as Midnight or Dolphin or even Sharooh, but she’s strong.
It’s so infuriating that nobody except Dolphin can see it.
She quickly crafts a boat and starts heading back towards the base, fed up with grinding resources for the day. It’s all she’s been able to do, since it seems like everyone’s become averse to fighting with her now. Nobody has been willing to take a 1v1 with hee since she got back. Nobody has messed with Shaun either, but not for the reasons that Dolphin had wished for.
“Sharky told me,” Shaun had said to Dolphin the other day. “He said that everyone’s leaving me alone because nobody wants to give you a reason to… impersonate me again.”
“I won’t do it again,” Dolphin had said to her. “I promised you I’d never do it.”
And she had smiled and shrugged, but she couldn’t meet her eyes. “I know,” she had said, her voice low and soft. “But… yeah. That’s why.”
Hindsight really is twenty-twenty. It fucking sucks. Dolphin rows in silence across a warm ocean, thoughts drifting and twisting into a maelstrom of frustrations as she continues to head back towards the base.
At least Shaun is with her again. At least she didn’t look at her the same way she looked at her in that ashy gray afterlife, when her eyes had widened in shock at hearing her confession. When she realized her vision was nothing but horror to her. When she turned away from her, shaking and breathing shallowly and hunching in on herself. When, for the first time ever, Dolphin realized she wasn’t allowed to step in and comfort her.
When she dropped the amethyst in the fire and walked away from her, and she knew she couldn’t follow after her.
She truly had lost everything then.
But not now. Not here.
Shaun responded to her message a few minutes ago, confirming that the iron farm was finally working again at the base.
You whisper to sososhaun: omw back
sososhaun whispers to you: okay
Dolphin doesn’t know if she’d be able to be here without her. She felt like she could breathe again for the first time in weeks when she finally smiled at her again and left the trapdoor open so she could climb down the ladder behind her.
She felt alive again.
She felt whole again.
She’d thought she’d hit rock bottom a lot of times in the past few years, but now she really knows what it’s like to lose everything that she cares about. And she never wants to be at that point again.
Dolphin glances in the water at an ocean monument in the distance. It’s already been looted for the armor trims. She had gotten enough in the first week that she’d given some to Harmmony, after Shaun suggested she take some resources over to her.
The ‘to apologize’ had been implied. Dolphin had tried.
Harmmony is still mad at her, but she had told her that first day, when they all came back, that she just needed some space. That she might forgive her someday, although she still hasn’t indicated that she’s anywhere near ready to do that yet.
“I still don’t get it,” she had said with a sharp scoff. “Like, why would you ever think Shaun would want that from you? Killing everyone and making them all think it was her? She’s too nice to want people to be scared of her.”
“Yeah, I know,” Dolphin grumbled back. She’s been paying the price for her stupid ambition every day since that horrible day that Shaun was killed on Project Unknown. Ever since she returned to a pile of items and that amethyst shard, sitting on the ground like an accusation.
You did this. You did this.
“Don’t have to rub it in.”
“Shaun doesn’t hate you now, does she?” Harmmony asked.
Dolphin had fallen silent. She’d felt sick, her heart and soul aching to have Shaun back by her side again. “She’d have every right to,” she had finally said.
“She loves you too,” Harmony said. “Just. Maybe not in that same way. But I know that she’d kill for you. Without hesitation.”
“Thanks,” Dolphin said. She knew that was true for her and Shaun in the past, and she only hoped it was still true now.
“You know, maybe you need the space too,” Harmmony said. “From Shaun, that is.”
“No,” Dolphin had said immediately. She’d had enough days without Shaun on Project Unknown, and she’d hated every single one of them.
Shaun is willing to be with her again, and Dolphin cherishes every second she’s with her. Sure, she has to be away from her on occasion, but the main thing that’s keeping her going right now is the knowledge that she can come home to Shaun at the end of the day. No matter what, she’ll still be there.
Despite having every reason to tell Dolphin to fuck off forever.
The base is in sight.
Well, not the actual base. That’s deep underground. But the subtle landmark above the base is in sight.
And so is Shaun.
Dolphin’s heart fills with a tumultuous mix of emotions at the sight of her. Immediate concern at how she’s just hanging out above their base, and how she hasn’t noticed her rowing towards her yet. Relief at seeing her wearing the same amethyst-trimmed armor that she was wearing when she left. Affection when she notices the armful of flowers she’s carrying. The sickening guilt that feels like it’ll never go away.
“Shaun!” she shouts once she thinks she’s close enough.
And Shaun starts, turns, and waves at her.
The concern eases, but the guilt, for some reason, does not. Dolphin feels like she’s choking on it.
Shaun meets her at the shore. The flowers are gone, somewhere into her inventory, but there are stray petals stuck in the cracks of her armor. Most of them are pink and purple, but there are some blues and whites and oranges in there too. Dolphin looks back to her face, at the gentle smile on her lips and the way her eyes seem to sparkle in the early evening light. The sun isn’t fully down yet, but the rays still reflect across the ocean water, casting a warm orange-pink glow on Shaun.
She looks like an angel.
“You weren’t gone that long,” she says. “I thought you’d be out another day or two.”
Dolphin picks up the boat so that she can hopefully stop staring at her. “Yeah. People are lowkey so fucking boring right now. I’d rather hang out with you.” She breathes in. Breathes out. “We could go to a trial chamber later if you’re up for it.” She hopes she doesn’t sound as desperate as she feels, deep down.
“Sure,” Shaun says. “Now, or—?”
“Later,” Dolphin says. “Tomorrow, maybe. If that’s okay with you?”
“Okay,” she says. “Uh. You wanna see the base? Not much has changed, but I’ve got some more villagers leveled up. Making some progress, since things have been pretty peaceful.”
“Yeah, I wanna see it.”
Dolphin heads after Shaun down the winding network of tunnels and falsebacks and cleverly concealed traps until they’re finally back in the base. It’s a lot bigger than when Dolphin was last here, even though that was only this morning. She can really see the effort she’s been putting in. It’s still all purely functional, but it’s symmetrical and well-organized. There’s a utilitarian coziness to it that has Dolphin breathing a little easier, even though the air doesn’t flow quite so well down here underground.
It feels like safety.
She watches her walk back over to the villagers. Just a simple routine thing she always does, but her heart starts to ache as she starts into the familiar motions of trading string for emeralds.
Dolphin looks away. Heads to a chest and roots around.
There’s a music disc in here. Creator. Shaun must have brought it back from one of the trial chamber runs, since Dolphin usually just throws them out. They’re only really useful when they’re part of crafting recipes for effects.
She’s glad to see the disc, nonetheless.
They don’t have a jukebox, but that’s easily fixed. Some wood, a diamond. Dolphin places it right in the middle of the floor and sets the disc in. It starts playing right away.
“Oh.” Shaun says.
Dolphin twitches.
She doesn’t want to look back to see what expression she’s making now.
She wants to never let her out of her sight again.
She swallows down whatever words are fighting to come out. It feels like she’s suffocating herself.
Dolphin turns to look.
Shaun’s eyes are shut and she’s rocking slightly to the music. She’s got a hand bracing herself against the wall, and her other hand lifts up to start drawing a pattern in the air.
Dolphin quickly drops her gaze.
Does she even deserve all of this? Shaun’s vulnerability? Her trust? Her gentleness?
Her forgiveness?
She doesn’t but she still wants to keep it all to herself.
“We should get some rest if we’re going to the trial chamber in the morning.” Shaun says.
“Yeah,” Dolphin says, still staring at the floor.
The disc continues to play. It’s really nice. Dolphin wonders for a moment what it might be like to take Shaun into her arms and dance with her. She’s never really danced before, so she’ll probably be awful at it, but if it’s just standing in place and swaying, she might not fuck that up completely. It can’t be too much harder than coordinating your body in a fight. Just paying attention to your balance, and to what’s around you.
Then again, this music might not be the right kind of music for dancing. It’s like a slow dance, but fast. Something. Dolphin doesn’t really get it.
“Dolphin?”
Dolphin finally looks up. Shaun is taking the disc out of the jukebox. She glances at her, her eyes soft and her face concerned. Always so soft and sweet and good.
Of course nobody would ever believe that she was the one killing everyone. Nevermind the fact that Dolphin knows she can be fierce. Nevermind how her teammates have always begged and convinced her to join fights because she will always come to help. Nevermind all the times she’s proven herself by helping to kill people. Nevermind the fact that she stood up against Stormz all those months ago despite his threats to kill and ban her.
Because these kinds of moments are the ones she always wants to define herself by.
The kindness. It’s all she really wants to be.
“What do you think your purpose is?”
She’s too good for Dolphin. And Dolphin wants her anyway.
Dolphin walks a few paces behind Shaun as they head towards the living quarters.
“Have you been sleeping alright?”
“Yeah,” Dolphin says automatically. She’s staring at the floor again.
“Hm. I don’t believe you,” Shaun says.
Dolphin’s head snaps up to see Shaun standing in the doorway of her bedroom. “What?” she says.
Shaun tilts her head and crosses her arms. “You were a wreck when we all got back. I could tell you weren’t sleeping. Was it nightmares?”
Dolphin grimaces and walks to the door of her own room instead of answering.
It wasn’t nightmares. Well, it was, but it wasn’t just that. It was a lot of things. A lot of things that she’ll be thinking about now. She’s not going to get any sleep. Maybe she can stay up grinding XP bottles or something instead. She’ll just have to stay quiet, for Shaun.
“Dolphin,” Shaun says.
“N-not really,” she says. It feels like spitting out blood, but there’s a small amount of relief in saying it. It feels like a catharsis being honest to her, even if it means admitting she’s not infallible. She’ll probably regret this later, but the looming threat of the horrors that keep her awake at night has her wanting to show Shaun a little bit of vulnerability too.
“Is it—”
“I didn’t like…” Dolphin breaks off, her mouth struggling to form the words. She should get them out, Shaun deserves at least the truth, even if it makes Dolphin seem pathetic. “I didn’t like being alone.”
“Oh.”
Dolphin is choking. On the sadness she’s still carrying with her, even though Shaun is here. On the guilt, even though Shaun says she forgives her.
On the frustration that, despite how hard she tried, she couldn’t avenge her. Her own death wasn’t enough penance for how horribly she’d ruined her life on that server.
“You can sleep in my room. With me. Just… if you want. If you think it might help.”
Dolphin breathes in and out. And in and out. She turns, maybe a little faster than she should if she wants to keep convincing Shaun that she’s worth keeping around, that she’ll be good to her and she won’t ask for too much and she won’t hurt her ever again. She can’t see anything except Shaun, her vision blurring for a moment.
“Really?” she says.
Shaun nods.
Smiles.
And Dolphin is helpless to resist.
She brings Dolphin into her room. Into her bed, which really isn’t big enough for two people, but it doesn’t matter. It’s perfect, because she’s here, and she’s everything. Dolphin lies on the very edge, not wanting to touch her without her explicit permission. It’s okay, all she needs is to be able to see her. Hear her breathing and feel her warmth with the inches of space between them.
But…
“Come here,” Shaun whispers, wrapping her arms around Dolphin and tugging her close.
And the two of them are pressed right up against each other.
She can feel Shaun's heartbeat. Dolphin’s eyes slowly close, and the tension fades with every soft vibration against her chest.
Shaun is alive.
She’s alive.
She’s alive.
And she’s here, with Dolphin. And, at least for this moment, Shaun still wants her too.