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The situation was absolutely pathetic.
Viktor knocked on the door, contemplating simply running away and hiding back in his apartment. But he could already hear footsteps inside, and his leg wouldn't allow him to escape that quickly.
Along with the footsteps, he heard a weak meow from the carrier. That was what gave him the strength to face the situation.
He took a deep breath as Jayce Talis appeared on the other side of the door. Viktor's upstairs neighbour since he'd moved into the building two months ago, and with whom he'd only spoken a couple of times.
"Hi!" Jayce said, with the friendly smile he always had when they crossed paths on the hallway. Viktor took a deep breath.
Weeks ago, Viktor had met Jayce for the first time while carrying several boxes into the elevator, moving into his new apartment. Jayce had been very kind, and Viktor would probably have talked to him more if he hadn’t been so exhausted and sore from the move. All he wanted was to get his sheets out of their box, put them on the bed, and lie down to rest for a few hours.
Still, he remembered clearly what Jayce had said that first day:
“Nice to meet you! I live in 3C. If you need anything, I’m here for you.”
It had sounded like an empty promise—something anyone might say. A phrase as simple and common as “Good morning” or “Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
But now, Viktor needed something. And he had no one else to ask for help.
“Hi,” he said, not daring to look Jayce in the eye. He held up the carrier. “I think… you’ve met my cat, Rio, before, right?”
"Yes. How are you, little one?" he said, approaching the carrier. However, when he glanced at Viktor, he seemed to notice his unease. "Is something wrong?"
Viktor bit his lip before answering.
"Look, I'm going to be away from home for a couple of days, and I can't take Rio with me. A friend was going to stay with her, but she's not available, and I've run out of places to leave her." He began to speak more quickly. "I know it's a lot of responsibility, and you can say no, of course, but I'm really at dead end, and I don't know-"
At first, Jayce was surprised by the request, but seeing how nervous Viktor was, he knew he'd have to be the one to keep his cool.
"Viktor," Jayce stopped him. "It's fine. I can take care of her during these days. They say I get along well with animals," he added with a smile that was meant to be reassuring. It didn't work for Viktor.
Carefully, he set the carrier on the ground so he could open the bag he was carrying in his other hand, on the handle of the crutch.
"I brought her toys. We can go to my apartment so you can pick up her food and litter box. And..." he took an item out of the bag, "this is her inhaler. She needs to use it once a day, and if she has an asthma attack, too. If you give me your phone number, I can send you a video explaining how to use it and how to recognize a feline asthma attack."
Jayce took the inhaler in his hands and looked at it carefully. He seemed concerned about the matter, but Viktor wasn't receiving the immediate rejection he'd been fearing, so he considered it a victory.
"Like I said, I'll completely understand if you can’t or don’t want to. Thanks for listening anyway..."
"No, no, it's okay," Jayce insisted. "I will."
Viktor looked up at him, his irises shaking.
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course. That's what neighbours are for, right?" He smiled at him. "Why don't we go get the food and the litter box?"
Jayce's kind smile made everything seem a little easier. As if Viktor weren't going to spend a few days away from home, as if he weren't asking a complete stranger for a favour, as if he weren't going to leave his cat with the stranger in question.
Viktor let himself be captivated by Jayce's unexpected calm. It was something he desperately needed at that time.
***
Viktor wished he could have thought about Rio or Jayce during those days. He wished he could have worried about simpler, more mundane things. But when it came to his health, everything else took a backseat.
He spent those two days in a daze—partly from the medication, partly from the dissociation his mind was creating. Despite everything, it felt like a form of survival.
His only contact with the outside world came through Sky's constant messages, asking how he was and apologizing over and over for not being there.
She had been meant to help him during his hospital stay and take care of Rio. At first, Sky had insisted on doing so. But Viktor discovered she’d been invited to speak at a symposium during the same days, a professional opportunity she simply couldn’t miss.
Viktor had to reassure her, insisting he would be fine, that the surgery wasn’t complicated, and that he’d even be able to move around on his own once discharged. It wasn’t the first time he had dealt with a medical issue alone.
He’d been so insistent that Sky finally gave in—because Viktor knew he would never have forgiven himself if she missed the greatest opportunity of her career because of him.
She hadn’t even had the chance to return by the time Viktor was discharged, and he had to call an ambulance to take him home. The paramedics were kind, escorting him to his apartment and making sure he was able to walk safely on the two crutches he would be using for a while.
Rio was back home that same day, too. Viktor ended up sitting on the bed with the cat on his lap, who rubbed her head against his chest and purred nonstop, showing him how much she had missed him. It was the first thing that made Viktor smile after the surgery.
For once, giving her the inhaler was easy, because she refused to leave Viktor's lap even when he was using the unpleasant device.
***
Rio was also Viktor's first scare after surgery. It happened on the morning of his second day back home, when he called her to eat and she didn't show up.
His cat had never run away, but she had hidden under furniture sometimes—especially the first few times he tried using the inhaler. And during that recovery, Viktor barely had the strength to keep waving the food bowl around the apartment. And bending down to look under every piece of furniture was an effort that was physically impossible for him at that moment.
When the first few minutes of wandering around the house yielded no results, a lump began to form in his throat. When he found the balcony door ajar, the first tears of despair rolled down his cheeks.
Viktor was weak and tired, the painkillers were messing with his mind, and it seemed like his cat had disappeared for the first time. It was more than he could handle at once.
He paused for a moment on the couch to wipe his tears. A few minutes later, his doorbell rang. Viktor felt too awkward and uncomfortable to confront anyone else, and he considered simply pretending he wasn't home.
Until he heard a timid meow on the other side of the door.
Viktor stood up faster than he should have. Leaning on both crutches, he approached the door, forgetting about the dirty pyjamas he was wearing or how red his face must have looked after crying.
The only thing that mattered to him was what was behind the door. And it was Rio, in Jayce's arms, who was holding her gently.
"I think I have something of yours."
Viktor would have scooped her up in an instant if he didn't need to lean on two crutches. All he could do was give Jayce a grateful look as he invited him in, so he could leave Rio inside the house.
Once Jayce put her on the floor, the first thing Rio did was rub against Viktor's legs, purring and making him smile weakly. When Viktor looked up, he found Jayce staring at him.
Viktor wondered how obvious his condition was on his physical appearance. He probably looked paler, with the dark circles under his eyes even more pronounced. He wondered if Jayce would notice that he was now leaning on two crutches instead of one.
He had noticed the small details, like the fact that Jayce had a few scratches on his hands and one on his cheek. Despite that, he couldn't stop smiling at Rio.
"Seems like she missed me," he said, scratching the back of his neck.
"Thank you for bringing her back," Viktor said, sitting down on the couch, because he couldn't keep standing any longer. "Thank you for... everything. I'm sorry I didn't said it properly."
"It's okay. I guess you have enough on your plate." Jayce stood by the couch, waiting for a few seconds.
Viktor could have walked him to the door, but he felt that at that moment it was easier to invite Jayce to sit down than to try to get back to his feet.
When Jayce was seated, Rio approached him and he stroked the cat’s head with a tender look.
"She's been a very good girl, you know," he said, and Viktor decided not to comment on the visible scratches on his hand. "Although for the first hours she didn't even want to get out of the carrier to eat."
"Really?" Viktor said, looking at the young man and the cat.
"Yeah, but we managed. I think she missed you a lot."
Yet she seemed to trust Jayce almost as much as Viktor, even though she had only spent a few days with him. She nuzzled her head against his chin as she purred.
"I think she was worried," Jayce added, patting her back down. "I... I've been worried, too, to be honest," he murmured.
Viktor straightened, glancing sideways at Jayce.
"How are you?" Jayce dared to ask. "I mean, I know it's none of my business, but..."
Viktor remained silent for a few seconds, his hand stroking Rio's back, until he managed to take a breath.
"I've been in the hospital," he said, trying to ignore the way Jayce's eyes widened. "For knee surgery. It wasn't particularly complicated, but they wanted to monitor my progress."
"So... how did it go?" Jayce asked, just in time to avoid an awkward silence. "Or can't you tell it yet?"
"Well, I suppose. As well as it could go," Viktor said, instinctively bringing a hand to the bandaged knee beneath his clothes. "I mean, it's not going to make me walk perfectly. But it's supposed to slow the degeneration and help with the pain. It’s been… pretty bad lately."
He didn't know what prompted him to share something like that. Such intimate and private details, which he never liked to talk about, not even with the people he trusted most.
After a few seconds of silence, Jayce nodded.
"I hope it helps you as much as possible," he said. He seemed to have chosen his words carefully. "And... the recovery? How are you doing? Because... you know, I’m just upstairs. You can ask me if you need anything."
"I know, and thank you," Viktor replied. "But I’ll be fine. I’m moving a bit better every day, and the doctors said I need to adjust to my daily routine again."
It wasn’t entirely true, but Jayce didn’t need to know that. Though he seemed to suspect it.
"I’m also taking care of Rio, no problem," he added, still petting her. That comment seemed to ease Jayce a little.
"I’m sure you are. She seems really happy with you."
"Though it’s obvious you’ve taken very good care of her." As if listening to that conversation, Rio jumped up to lean on Jayce's chest. Her claws dug into his sweater, but he just smiled.
"She's a good girl," he said. "You know, I've never seen a sphynx in person."
"No?"
"No. But I've heard they're almost like an exotic species. Very expensive and very rare. This little thing doesn't look like that kind of pet."
"She isn't," Viktor explained. "Not our Rio. She was abandoned and taken in by a friend of mine's shelter."
Jayce looked at him, his eyes bright and sad.
"Really?"
"Yes, they found her on the street in a box. They tried to find her owners without success, although with Sphynx cats, they always turn up. We have a theory that... well, that they bought her from a breeder and, when they discovered she was sick, they abandoned her."
Such a short story had managed to fill Jayce's eyes with pity. He looked at Rio compassionately and stroked her with both hands, as if he wanted to give her all the love in the world.
"Poor thing. She didn't deserve to be treated like that," he murmured. Then he looked at Viktor. "But how lucky she was that you came and adopted her."
Despite his tiredness and embarrassment, Viktor smiled softly.
"I think I was very lucky to find her too," he whispered, stroking Rio between the ears and making her purr happily.
There was a little smile on her face once again. A sight difficult to see since the surgery, but one that Jayce and Rio had been able to awaken.
***
It only took two days before he saw Jayce again. Viktor spent them locked up at home, trying to maintain a routine while his body was exhausted. He was running out of food in the fridge, and the thought of going to the supermarket and having to carry bags sounded like hell.
Just then, as if sent from heaven, Jayce appeared at his door, holding a tupperware.
"My mom came to visit yesterday, and as always, she made extra food. I thought you might like me to share some with you."
Viktor looked at the tupperware. Then he looked at Jayce's face. Then he heard Rio's footsteps and knew he had to close the door before he ran away again. So, he quickly invited Jayce in.
"Thank you very much. Let me..." he began, trying to balance his crutches so he could grab the tupperware, but Jayce wouldn't give it to him.
"It’s okay, just tell me where the kitchen is."
Viktor couldn't refuse this help. He accompanied Jayce to the kitchen and watched him put the Tupperware in the refrigerator. If Jayce was observant, he might notice how empty it was, or the chair by the sink so Viktor could wash the dishes.
But he didn't comment anything until they were back in the living room. Viktor had been reading when Jayce knocked on the door, and the book was still on the coffee table. That's what caught Jayce's attention.
"Are you reading Cecil B. Heimerdinger?" he asked, surprising Viktor. He, sitting down again, took the book in his hands.
"Yes, do you know him?"
"He was the dean when I was at college! I was never in his class, but... well, we run into each other from time to time, not always under the best circumstances..."
Viktor glanced at him and a small smile appeared on his face.
"I can imagine. He can be... quite strict about some things."
"Did you study with him too?" Jayce asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"I was his assistant for a couple of years, actually. While I was finishing my degree."
"Really?!" he said, sitting next to him on the couch. "I've never been this close to the university's bigwigs... What was it like?"
"It was good," Viktor shrugged. "He's a good scientist, and I was always up to date with the latest developments our university was making. Although..."
The tone of his voice made Jayce raise an eyebrow, curiously.
"What?"
"He always had that Yorkshire terrier of his with him. He was very cute, but he filled the office with fur, and I had to work there all the time," he replied. "I think that was the real reason I decided to adopt a cat like Rio..."
Jayce laughed heartily, a laugh that easily spread to Viktor.
"So what did you study?" Jayce asked, getting the conversation back on track. A conversation about science and engineering that lasted for several minutes.
***
The next day, Jayce showed up at his door again, holding a tote bag.
"I was just about to go grocery shopping. Would you like me to get you anything?"
Under other circumstances, Viktor would have flatly refused. He didn't have to burden someone else with his chores, much less someone he barely knew. But the surgery had left him far more vulnerable than he liked.
His fridge was almost empty. He'd spent the morning assimilating the fact that he'd have to go out and buy groceries, or considering delivery, calculating whether he could afford the extra expense.
And Jayce had been so kind. And the stew in the tupperware that was his dinner last night was delicious. And Viktor could feel his walls crumbling, one by one.
Viktor had no choice. He took a bill out of his wallet and handed it to Jayce, telling him to get him the same groceries he was going to buy.
Half an hour later, Jayce was back, leaving the groceries on the kitchen counter. As he did so, Viktor glanced at the dirty dishes piling up in the sink, having had no energy to clean them until now.
"I forgot to wash your tupperware to give it back to you, sorry."
"It's okay. I can do the washing up now, if you want."
This time, Viktor had to decline. He shook his head and sat down in the chair in front of the sink.
"No, no. Washing the dishes is one of the tasks I can do on my own. And you've already done enough."
The groceries were already put away, and it seemed Jayce had no more reason to stay in that apartment. However, he stayed in the kitchen, hands behind his back.
"Could you... do the washing up, and I'll rinse and put away the dishes. How does that sound? It would be a little easier for both of us."
It seemed like Jayce was negotiating with him. Negotiating for what, to do free work for Viktor? He didn't understand, but the young man kept insisting on helping him. There came a point where Viktor had to accept the negotiation.
He cleaned the first dish and handed it to Jayce, who was waiting by the sink.
***
Jayce was there again. What was the reason this time? Maybe he'd come offering to take out the trash, or asking if Viktor needed him to do the shopping again, or any other simple reason.
One way or another, Jayce had stayed. Rio had hidden under the couch when it was time for her medicine, and Jayce had managed to lure her out with kind words and a treat. He'd held her by the scruff of her neck while Viktor administered her inhaler.
Once Rio had received her medicine and was able to play with her scratching post again, it seemed Jayce had no reason to stay in that apartment. However, he hadn't left yet, nor had Viktor asked him to.
"You know, I saw they released this new documentary…" Jayce began. "About Dark Matter. Apparently, Heimerdinger was in it, you know."
"I've heard about it, yeah."
"It's already out. We could watch it, if you want."
This way, Jayce was invited to Viktor's apartment to watch the documentary. And since it was so late, it meant he was also staying for dinner. They ended up going through the fridge, looking for ingredients to make some quick sandwiches. While Jayce sliced the bread, Viktor began gathering the dishes for the table.
"I can set the table too, don't worry," Jayce said, but Viktor shook his head.
"No, no, I've got it covered."
Viktor reached for the cart in the middle of the kitchen and began arranging the glasses and cutlery on it, everything the table would need. Then he took a piece of string from one of the cart's handles. Jayce watched him with curiosity as he hooked the string to his pants.
Then Viktor stood up on his crutches and began walking. Pulled by the string, the cart moved behind him, like a train car. He was able to pull it into the living room without using his hands.
"That's... that’s actually genius," Jayce said, genuine admiration in his voice.
"What I learned in engineering school had to come in handy," Viktor replied with a smile, as he placed the glasses on the table.
***
After so many years, Viktor would think he was accustomed to the bad days, the pain, and the discomfort. However, it was something one could never fully get used to. Sometimes it caught him off guard, like those days, when he was more tired and weak than ever, when most daily tasks required a titanic effort.
It was not easy to keep his hopes up. The doctors had said the operation would ease the pain, but two weeks had passed, and Viktor didn't feel any improvement, only the aftereffects of the surgery.
In a situation like this, it was inevitable to give in to despair from time to time. When that happened, Viktor was usually alone, curled up in bed in whatever position was least uncomfortable for him, and only coming out when Rio needed him.
This time, however, Jayce was there. And he had to be a victim of that bad day as much as Viktor.
"You don't have to do this, you know."
Viktor was lying on the couch. Jayce had slipped a blanket over him almost without him noticing. The man was sweeping, and he looked up at Viktor's words.
"What?"
With a wince, Viktor sat up.
"You don't have to babysit for me or come do the housework. I don't know why you're doing it, but you don't have to."
The broom's movement stopped. Jayce leaned it against the wall and turned to Viktor.
"Well, you're my neighbour. I don't mind doing these things when you need me to."
Viktor snorted. It was an almost bitter mockery.
"Do you expect me to believe you do the shopping for the entire building?"
The bitterness and irony in those words seemed to hurt Jayce. There was a pained expression on his face and words on his tongue that wouldn't come out.
"It's not about that, and you know it," he said, his voice more uncertain than in any conversation they'd had before. "It's times like this where a little help comes in handy..."
"I know, I know," Viktor said, still in that sharp voice. "But I insist. You don't have to do all this just to feel good about yourself. Or because you feel sorry for me."
Those words were like a blow to Jayce. His trembling hands clenched and unclenched into fists, his lips searching for the right words when they just wanted to burst into sobs.
Viktor had turned his back on him, and he didn't dare say anything else either. He had expressed everything he felt on that awful day, had taken out the needles stabbing his heart. And the result was a lump in his throat that wouldn't let him say anything else, and a feeling of guilt that paralyzed him.
He didn't even dare apologize or try to fix what he had said.
When Jayce gave up and simply left the apartment, closing the door behind him, Viktor stayed where he was. And he let the guilt eat away at him along with the pain and exhaustion.
***
Two days passed. Two days before Viktor dared to take a step and fix his mistakes. At the same time, his leg was beginning to recover from the surgery, and the doctor told him he could walk again with just one crutch.
Being able to move like before, with one hand free, was a relief Viktor needed. And at the same time, it left him with no excuses for not fixing what he had done.
So there he was, in the hallway. He was carrying Rio in his free arm, and let her jump to the floor. Then she sat down and stared at Viktor, instead of at the door in front of them.
"Come on," he said in a whisper. "Scratch the door, meow, do something."
The cat looked up at him, blinking slowly, completely ignoring the closed door behind her.
"Come on, Rio, I've never asked you for anything," he insisted, trying not to be overheard. He could already feel his cheeks heating up at having to do this.
Rio curled into a ball on the floor, ignoring Viktor. He sighed.
Almost at the same time, the door opened, catching both Viktor and the man on the other side by surprise. They both jumped, while Rio remained huddled in the small space between them.
Jayce was the first one to look down.
"Hi."
Suddenly, Viktor remembered the little lie he'd planned to get there.
"Rio left my apartment," he said quickly, "when I opened the door. I followed her, and, eh, it seems she's made it to your door."
Jayce noticed the cat, half asleep between them. There was still a hint of tenderness in his gaze. Then he looked at Viktor's legs.
"Have you... Are you feeling better...?"
"Yes, it seems so. The doctors told me to start trying to move like before."
"That’s great," Jayce said, and despite the tiredness in his voice, he seemed sincere.
There were a few moments of silence, before they both decided to break it simultaneously, with words that were equally difficult to say:
"I'm sorry."
"Do you want to come in?"
The two men fell silent immediately. Jayce was the only one who repeated his words, as Viktor didn't think he had the strength to apologize again.
"Want to come in? I can make some tea…"
Viktor nodded timidly and entered while Jayce held the door open. Then he bent down to pick up the cat, which would have easily fallen asleep in the hallway.
They ended up sitting on Jayce's couch, with Rio between them, and again not daring to look each other in the eye. Just as Jayce was about to stand up and go get something to eat, Viktor spoke again.
"I've been so ungrateful," he said, making Jayce sit up. "You've been helping me in exchange of nothing and without even knowing me, and I treat you like this... I'm sorry, I was having a bad day and I took it out on the person who least deserved it."
Jayce glanced at him, his eyes shining with more compassion than Viktor thought he deserved.
"I understand. I really do," Jayce said softly. "And that's okay. I... I haven't been completely honest with you, so..."
Viktor hadn't expected those words at all. He looked at Jayce, surprised, waiting for an explanation that wasn't easy to give. The man's shoulders drooped, as if he wanted to shrink and disappear, and he scratched his head with a shyness that was almost endearing.
It seemed that saying those words was as difficult for him as apologizing had been for Viktor.
"Look... I've never been very good at... meeting new people, making friends, and all that stuff..."
Viktor raised his eyebrows in surprise and disbelief.
"Really? You?"
"And when I saw that you were recovering from surgery," Jayce continued, "I realized you could use some help. And by doing that, I've gotten to know you better, and..."
He sighed, needing a pause to gather his thoughts. His hands fell on his knees and, slowly, he turned toward Viktor. He wanted to look him in the eyes to finish his words.
"Viktor, I think you're so smart, and kind, and interesting, and..." As he listened to those words, Viktor's eyes widened, his disbelief growing. "And I thought that... that I could come help you while you recovered, and that way you'd have a little help during some tough times, and I... I'd have an excuse to hang out with you."
There was something strange about the things Jayce was saying; Viktor felt like he was listening to him speak another language. As if what he was sharing with him wasn't possible.
His brain didn't seem able to understand those words, not entirely. His heart, however, understood them perfectly. That's why it kept racing.
"I'm sorry. As I said, I'm not very good with people," Jayce continued, a hint of embarrassment in his voice. "I should have told you. And now that I say it out loud, I realize it sounds even weirder than I expected..."
"I don't think so," Viktor said, as soon as he found the words, because he felt he had to resolve this conflict. "I think you were just being sweet and kind. Everything you've said about me, do... do you mean it?"
Jayce could only nod shyly.
Someone decided to end this difficult conversation and give them a break. Rio stretched out on the cushion and lightly butted Viktor's arm, then rested her head on Jayce's knee. Jayce gently stroked her between the ears, while Viktor ran a hand down her back.
"You know," Viktor began. Now his voice sounded shy too. He was looking at Rio, not Jayce. "We don't have to meet just at my apartment. I mean..." He tried to ignore the way his heart was pounding in his ears. "We could go out for a coffee, or something."
He dared a glance at Jayce. His face had tinged with a hint of red, and his eyes were shining. Viktor thought he looked more beautiful than ever.
When he nodded, a smile lit his face.
"I can't wait."