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Dreomione Fest 2025
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Published:
2025-07-09
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3,084
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1/1
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46
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512

Oh Shit

Summary:

Someone is pregnant and it's not who you'd expect.

Notes:

Prompt:

 

 

Someone is pregnant and it's not who you'd expect

Work Text:

Theo groaned as his stomach revolted again causing him to expel its meager contents into the toilet.

“Theo love, this is the fifth time this week. Not even counting the times you were sick last week.  Please go see a Medi-witch, something may be seriously wrong. I have my appointment Monday, just go get checked out afterwards,” Hermione pleads as she rubs his back.

“I agree! I will make the appointment for you if I have to,” Draco calls from the bedroom, not being able to be in the bathroom with the other two due to his inability to be around someone who is throwing up.

“I’m fine, I promise. There is no need to schedule an appointment, they’ll scan me tell me it’s the potions and that I’m fine. You both know this happens from time to time. Chances are the potion was stirred one to many times or the temperature was slightly off with this batch. It’s a common side effect when there is a minor change, doesn’t change the efficacy of the potion just increases the side effects. It’s just par for the course, no one ever said being your true authentic self would be easy,” Theo slowly stands with Hermione’s help and washes his mouth out before downing his daily potion before Hermione can grab it from him.

“Theodore! Stop taking it. I will find a way to safely brew them for you again, I know you wanted me to stop but is this truly worth the minor risk?”


“Yes,” Theo says as Draco calls “It’s too risky,”


“There is a less than 1% chance that it will negatively impact the fetus, you both know this. And if you just agree to find out the gender then it’s all for naught anyways, it will only have a negative impact if it’s a boy. And it’s so stupid that Draco or you can’t brew it. Seriously though, it’s a testosterone potion, it makes zero sense that the person consuming it can’t make it or those who were assigned male at birth,” Hermione huffs placing her hands on her extended belly feeling their child kicking.


“We all agreed we wanted to be surprised when we found out you were pregnant. Plus, it’s a finicky potion love, it’s also why it needs to be brewed weekly and cannot be stored. I promise I’m okay, it’s worth it, plus the apothecary I’m getting it from is known for these potions and their brewing, I trust them, plus that was my last dose of this batch, I’ll be fine in a few days once the new potion is in my system,” Theo replies after a quick mouth freshening charm, he places a kiss on Hermione’s head and places his hands over hers on her belly.


“Is it clear for me to come in?” Draco asks from the doorway.


“Yes, I don’t feel like I’m going to get sick again,” Theo replies “You know you will need to get over this fear of puke quickly, this little one is going to be spitting up like crazy once they’re born,”


“Don’t remind me, I also vote that you two handle anything throw up related and I can handle every blow out, diaper, and other mess,” Draco begs placing a kiss to both Hermione and Theo’s foreheads before starting the shower.


“And if you’re alone with the baby and they spit up then what?” Hermione asks.


“Well, I guess we will both be puking then,” Draco sighs as Hermione and Theo laugh. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you won’t be laughing when you come home to a mess that needs to be cleaned,”


“We will get you over this phobia eventually,” Theo says watching as his husband steps into the shower his eyes traveling up and down his body.


“Gods I hope so, or else this is going to get messy,” Draco says as Hermione and Theo leave the bathroom, the three of them knowing if they stayed they would all be late to work.


“Gods Blaise what’s that smell?” Theo asks as he steps out of the floo and into their shop. His stomach revolting, the little food he was able to consume at breakfast threatening to make its reappearance. He leaned heavily on the front desk, eying the trash can and wondering if he should make a move for it now or if his stomach will hold out.


“Some kids set of stink bombs in the alley earlier today, I’ve tried air freshening charms, and the smell is lingering. It must be those new ones from WWW,” Blaise apologizes, once again attempting the charm to no avail.


Theo groans as he does so the charm making the air shift just enough to make him lunge for the trash can, losing his stomach contents for the third time that day.


“Seriously Theo, you’ve been puking for a week straight, have you gone to see a Medi-witch yet? Doesn’t Granger have an appointment for the baby soon? You’ll be at Mungo’s anyways get checked out when you’re there,” Blaise tosses Theo a water bottle once he removes his head from the trash can and vanishes the mess for his friend.

“Thanks, and I’m fine. Just as I’ve told Draco and Hermione. It is the potions, I’ve already contacted the apothecary, and they made note that it had more side effects than usual and insured me that the next batch will be better. You knew how it was back in first year. I was sick all the time when I first started them. I’ve had the nausea since I had to stop taking the one’s Hermione brewed, this batch just officially sent me over the edge for one reason or another. There is no reason for me to get checked out for the Medi-witch to tell me I’m fine then I would have wasted their time,” Theo places a scent blocking charm on himself sagging in relief into his chair as the putrid smell evaporates completely.

“This is a different type of sick man. First year it was because we stupidly thought we could brew the potion and didn’t realize no one in our dorm could, plus all the stress of you transitioning and escaping your father was more than enough to make anyone sick,” Blaise retorts looking his best friend up and down. “Didn’t Granger go through something similar right before she found out she was pregnant? The throwing up every morning and sensitivities to smells. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

“Absolutely none. Between the potion and the charm there is no way in hell,” Theo replies closing his eyes and sinking further into the chair.

“Wasn’t Granger also on the potion and using the charm when she got pregnant? Malfoy’s sperm worked its way through both of those so who’s to say it couldn’t happen again?”

“No Hermione ended up pregnant because we all forgot when we went away for our anniversary and she missed a dose and we were all drunk and couldn’t remember if we did the charm or not and thought we were in the clear,”


“And who’s to say you haven’t gotten sloppy with the charm now that Granger’s knocked up. She is the responsible one for the three of you anyways and we both know that you and Malfoy forgot the charm a number of times during school. The amount of pregnancy scares the two of you had before we graduated was insane,”


“Well, you try dealing with homophobic and transphobic classmates, a father who simultaneously wanted to kill you and recruit you into a cult, while also debating whether or not to kill you or praise you for being trans and the son he always dreamed of. It’s of no surprise that I resorted to sex as a stress relief and frequently forgot the charm due to the said stress,” Theo snaps. “I’m going into the office, let me know if you need help,”


Blaise winces as Theo storms off slamming the door of their office shut. Blaise pushes his palms into his eyes and silently curses. There was no doubt in his mind that Theo was pregnant. But convincing him of that would be a completely different battle.


“Oh, Hermione look at you! You’re glowing, it’s been too long. How are you feeling?” Ginny asks pulling Hermione into a hug before they both settle into the café’s outdoor seating.


“I’m doing okay, morning sickness has officially left thankfully, so far the second trimester is treating me nicely, but I am sure once I pass the 24-week mark I will be cursing my husbands out for doing this to me,” Hermione laughs slightly.


“How are your darling husbands?” Ginny asks “I know for me the pregnancy sex was amazing, Harry wou-”


“Ginny! Please, I do not want to hear about you and Harry having sex, he’s my brother and that is the last thing I want to hear,” Hermione begs “Plus there hasn’t been any sex lately. I was too sick at first and would’ve avadaed either of them if they touched me and then once my morning sickness ended there was only a few weeks before Theo hasn’t felt the best, so I’ve been to worries about him to be in the mood for anything,”


“What’s wrong with Theo?”


“Since neither he or Draco will allow me to brew anything until after I have the baby we have had to outsource some potions, and I think the last batch he got was faulty cause he’s been sick every morning the last week or so. Plus, he’s been in a mood, and Draco being unable to comfort him as he’s getting sick hasn’t helped,” Hermione says, knowing that everyone is aware of how negatively Draco reacts to puke after he himself threw up when Hermione got a wave of morning sickness at a party during the beginning of her pregnancy, and the sound of her getting sick in the bushes in the Potter’s back yard was enough to set him off.


“You know if I didn’t know better I would say he’s pregnant,” Ginny laughs “But we both know that’s impossible,”


“Ha yeah, impossible,” Hermione says not entirely sure Ginny’s guess is wrong but not knowing how to address it with Theo. Quickly changing the topic Hermione refuses to give that any more thought, swearing to herself that she will remember and ask Theo to do the charm later that evening.

  • · ·

“Rough morning?” Pansy laughs watching as Draco throws himself onto the couch in his office groaning.


“Yes. Just as Hermione’s morning sickness ends Theo ends up sick and has been puking every morning for the last week or so. I swear Parks I will never be able to manage having a kid if I can’t even handle my wife’s morning sickness or my husband’s side effects to his potions. How the hell am I supposed to watch my child alone if I can’t even handle the sight or sound of people gagging!” Draco moans.


“Theo’s still sick?”


“Yeah, you know Hermione had to stop brewing his potions when we realized she was pregnant, so we’ve been getting them from the apothecary and this batch has made him so insanely sick in the morning that I have half a mind to go and talk to the potion mistress they have brewing it, because there is no way he should be as sick as he is. It’s worse than first year before we realized how finicky the potion is,”


“Dam. Is he okay other than that? Are you sure it’s the potion and nothing more serious?”


“Yeah, he’s just been sick in the mornings and a bit bitchier, all common side effects to a potion that was not brewed correctly. Plus, he is stressing out about the baby and Hermione’s health, he is running himself ragged,” Draco slowly stands and moves to his desk to begin organizing his stuff for the day, thanking all the gods it was Friday, and he would have the weekend off.


“Draco?” Pansy asks after several minutes of silence; a questioning look on her face.


“Yeah?” Draco replies not looking up from his file.


“Are you sure he’s not pregnant? His symptoms sound a lot like Granger’s right before she found out,” Pansy asks gently knowing that Draco may not take this the best. His snort of laughter tells Pansy that he doesn’t even want to entertain the idea.


“Good one Parks. Between the potion and the charm? There is no way in hell he’s pregnant. Plus, between Hermione’s morning sickness and now him being sick we haven’t had sex in close to a month. If he was pregnant we would’ve already known by now,”

“Didn’t Granger also get pregnant on the potion and charm?” Pansy gently inquires, knowing exactly how her friends wife ended up pregnant.

“You know just as well as I do that she got pregnant on our anniversary trip. She missed the potion, and we all got to drunk and forgot the charm. Plus, Theo’s been on his potion for years there is no way he can get pregnant without a fertility draught. So, no he can’t be,”

“Okay… his symptoms just sound way to familiar,”

“They also sound like he could have a bad reaction to a faultily brewed potion,”

“True,” Pansy concedes knowing she will not win this fight, the blondes mind already made up. Pansy swears to herself to ask her husband, Blaise, when he gets home if he agrees with her theory or not.

  • · ·

The next morning brings another round of Theo getting sick, with Hermione by his side rubbing his back and Draco pacing their bedroom desperately trying to ignore the sounds of his husbands gagging.

“That’s it. After Hermione’s appointment you’re getting checked out, this isn’t normal. I don’t care what you have to say or if I need to drag you,” Draco calls after Theo throws up for the fourth time.

“Fine! If that will make you happy and then get off my case about being sick then I’ll go!” Theo yells back before he proceeds to throw up more stomach bile.

“Good!” Draco calls back.

Hermione just continues to rub Theo’s back, whispering soft nothings to him as he calms down, slowing his breathing and becoming more settled as his stomach stops rolling.

“Theo, love… is there a chance you could be pregnant?” Hermione asks gently as Theo stands and rinses his mouth out. At her question Theo chokes on his water causing a worried Draco to rush in.

“What happened? Are you okay? Why are you choking?” Draco asks quickly checking Theo over.

“Because our witch has lost her bloody mind. There is no way in hell I’m pregnant Hermione. I’m on my potion and we use the charm,” Theo snaps, bracing his hands on the sinks edge slowing his breathing once more.

“She may be right Theo,” Draco calmly says sharing a glance with Hermione, the conversation he had with Pansy yesterday stayed with him and the more he thought about it the more likely it sounded.

“Did Blaise put you up to this?” Theo snaps pushing by his spouses and walking into the bedroom.

“What do you mean love?” Hermione asks.

“He said the same thing to me yesterday, and I’m going to tell you the same thing. There is no way. I am on the potion plus we use the charm. I am not and cannot be pregnant okay!”

“Theo let’s just get you checked when we go for my appointment on Monday okay. We will spend the weekend relaxing, and we can worry about this then,” Hermione says, pulling the taller brunette into a hug.

“If I’m still sick on Monday then I’ll go,” Theo concedes kissing Hermione’s forehead.


“No,” Theo says crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes,” Draco fights back.

“No, I don’t need to see the Medi-witch. I didn’t get sick the entire weekend. As I told you both it was that batch of potions and now that I am on the new one I’m fine. I do not need to see the Medi-witch,” Theo says, pacing up and down the sterile exam room they were placed in upon their arrival to the appointment.

“Come on Theo, it’s a quick and simple spell, what’s the harm?” Hermione tries.


“Because I’m not pregnant!” Theo yells as the medi-witch enters the room.

“Now who isn’t pregnant? Because Hermione you are indeed pregnant, close to 6 months as we know,” Padma says closing the door.

“Theo may be pregnant,” Draco says before anyone could interject.

“Would you like me to just cast the spell to see? If you aren’t then there’s no harm,” Padma asks.

“Yes,” Hermione and Draco say as Theo snaps “No,”

“It’s 2 against 1 love, Padma please do the spell,” Hermione begs.

“You know what fine! But when it comes back negative you both owe me a massive apology,” Theo switches places with Hermione on the exam table prepping for the spell. Padma quickly waves her wand before anyone changed their minds. Everyone watched as two orbs began to glow over Theo’s stomach.

“Well, congratulations are in order. Theo you are pregnant,” Padma smiles watching as the triad’s faces go through a range of emotions.

“Two babies, we will have 2 under 2,” Draco huffs in laughter leaning over to kiss Theo on the forehead smiling at his Husband who is clearly in a minor state of shock.

“Three,” Padma says as she starts a new file, adding in the information from the charm.

“What?” Draco asks.

“It appears as though Theo is pregnant with twins, identical based on the spell. Congrats you three, this time next year you will have three little ones,” Padma smiles.

“Well fuck,” Theo says, unable to take his eyes off his stomach, a small smile crossing his face.

“Is now a bad time to say I told you so?” Draco smirks wincing as Hermione smacks his arm.

“Yes you idiot, Theo honey are you okay?” Hermione asks, placing her hand on top of Theo’s, gently squeezing.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Theo smiles at his spouses and wiping tears from his eyes. "I love you both,"

"Oh shit," Draco go paling slightly and starting to sway.

"What?" Hermione asks, moving closer to steady him.

"Three, that means three times the amount of spit up," Draco whispers a look of absolute terror on his face as Theo and Hermione laugh.