Chapter Text
If anyone were to ask Mira what the first thing she wanted to do when she took control of her own wheel, they would probably be surprised that it was eat something incredibly high in calories, so sweet her back teeth wiggled, and basically nothing anyone would have let her eat before. A meal that someone would have "offhandedly" mention her weight, and how she'd just be prettier and her boyfriend would marry her if she just lost some weight.
If they asked about the second thing she wanted to do, they would probably not be surprised when she grabbed Taiya with her biggest smile and go "him."
(He was hot and ridiculously in love with her, of course loving him back was at the top.)
But that was exactly her order of priorities. She wanted to eat something that she wouldn't have been allowed to eat before, to keep her "womanly" figure as well as hoping she'd lose even more weight. The backhanded compliments about her had always a hint of disdain for her curves. Once given control of her own wheel… oh, did she want to eat that cookie cheesecake she had seen. Which Taiya had bought immediately for her, and watched her eat in the privacy of his own home, his lips curved in a smile and his eyes full of love as she devoured the dessert. "Do you want another one?" he asked, resting his head in one hand as he watched her. The pitch black choker he always wore shone as it hit the light, the material a dazzling shiny display that almost would be out of place on someone like Taiya if he didn't wear it like it was just a part of him.
Mira thought for a moment, tines of the fork still in her mouth. Did she want another? Taiya would buy it for her before she even finished talking if she did. But she wasn't still hungry… well, there was one thing she could want. Mira shook her head. "Nah," she told him, putting her fork down. "I'm hungry for something else."
"Oh? And what could that be?"
"You."
Despite her confidence saying that, she definitely felt a quick flash of worry when the smile on Taiya's face froze in a weird way. But instead, he grinned harder, showing a hint of teeth. "Just take the wheel, my driver, and I'll deliver Heaven."
Mira laughed, letting herself make it a big belly laugh, completely graceless. How was Taiya so good at this? "Then what are we waiting for?" she asked as she sprang to her feet. She knew Taiya's house had bedrooms for days, and while she was letting herself take her wheel and drive herself, she still… had to think. Did she want Boondorio to hear them? Well… actually, it didn't matter, right? She was pretty certain Taiya and Boondorio had been fucking in some form anyway. Maybe some day she'd ask how… Chasshiro was off doing his own things, and honestly, Mira hoped one day to drive him too. But right now… she wanted to drive Taiya.
Who was also springing to his feet, excited as he took her hand.
"Wow, Taiya," she said, laughing as he led her to the nearest bedroom. "Eager to be ridden?"
Sure, someone could hear them this close, but… actually, did it matter? She wanted to enjoy herself.
Again, Taiya did that pause. It was more obvious this time as they walked, his hand going limp for a brief moment before squeezing hers again. "I want to see you happy," he told her, turning to her. "And to make sure you forget about how badly your ex would eat you out."
Mira shook her head. "I haven't been eaten out before," she admitted. "Particularly by him. Didn't want to put- you know, it doesn't matter. I want you to eat me out." She watched Taiya close the bedroom door behind them, her heart pounding and her pussy throbbing too much to be ignored. Her first pussy licking! It was ridiculous how excited she was.
"Of course." And before Mira could even turn to the bed, Taiya was on his knees, nuzzling her bare thigh, right under the bottom of her shorts. She blinked as he looked up at her, his eyes dark and lidded. "I'm not going to go right for it," he told her, correctly interpreting her surprise. "You deserve something better than just going in and licking you. I'm going to do it right."
Again. A weird pause before he went back to her thigh, giving it a kiss. Mira reached down, clasping his shoulder. "Taiya, is something wrong?"
He looked up at her, confusion clear in his face. "No. Why?" he asked, his voice so innocent of the distress she saw that Mira wondered now if she even saw it.
… how would she explain what she saw? "You just sort of… did something weird. Like you froze up for a moment or something. Taiya, if you don't-"
"I do," he told her, rocking back onto his heels to look her in the eyes. "Mira, you hold so many forms of beauty in you. I want you to be in charge and comfortable in your skin. And I want to eat you out if you want me."
She nodded slowly. "Yeah." This was just… so weird. Taiya obviously was excited and wanted this. He was definitely consenting extremely enthusiastically. Almost too enthusiastically. But he kept… "Okay, sure. But I want you to feel good too! If you don't want to have sex, that's fine. But if you're okay with it, I want to blow you."
Okay, that time he visibly tensed up.
"There! You don't look happy with that." She knelt, still holding his shoulder. "Taiya… what's wrong? Did something happen to you?" If someone hurt their Taiya… that person would regret it. No one hurt Taiya like that.
Oh. Oh, that hastily covered panic in his eyes. Mira's heart sank seeing that, her fingers itching for her Boonboom Changer. "I'm… not wanting you to see," Taiya explained. "It's not like I'm disfigured or something down there. Just…" He gave her a weak smile. "Nothing to blow."
Mira thought for a second, putting things together. The way he acted, and the panic, and then his words… "Ohhh," she finally said, the picture clicking into place. That would definitely make sense. "Yeah, unless you have a strap around here, I can't ride you. Wait, do you?" He might, actually, considering his other relationships. "I mean, I know you and Chasshiro, and do you and Genba…?"
Taiya shook his head. "I mean, I don't have a strap," he told her quickly. "I like oral, though. A lot. So can I eat you out?" He pressed his hands together, bowing his head. "And I mean, if you want to ride me, you can ride my face. I just really want to eat your pussy."
Something about this seemed so wrong. But… hey, she wasn't trans, so it was just possible Taiya was just… really not liking those parts and wanted her to ignore them. Fine with her! She would ignore them until he told her otherwise. Even though she really wanted to learn how to eat pussy now, just to see Taiya gasping under her. "Well… I mean, Taiya, if you're really okay with it," she started slowly, watching his face. "I mean, I've never been in a place to eat pussy before, but I'm willing to learn. And being trans, you know, is just part of you and I love you. So-"
Taiya took her hands in his, kissing the fingers gently while looking at her with heavy, dark eyes. Lustful eyes. Eyes that wanted to devour every part of her, and make her scream.
Yeah, she could make him comfortable by following his lead and ignoring his bits.
Taiya watched her for a moment longer, then stood slowly, guiding her to her feet. "Get on the bed?" he whispered, still holding her hands.
Mira nodded, worry and confusion still in the back of her mind. Okay, so, this was probably just him having bad thoughts about his bits. Was that fixable? Maybe Chasshiro would know someone to help give Taiya the bits he wanted. It was worth asking the informant, if only to help make Taiya more comfortable in his skin.
Okay, no, enough of that! That kind of thought was for later, when she wasn't getting eaten out by one of the hottest guys she had ever met. Mira quickly shed her clothes, carelessly leaving them on the floor as she laid back on the bed, wiggling around until Taiya had enough room to kneel between her legs.
"If you want to," she said as she pushed herself up on her elbows, watching him pause and look at her curiously, "you should touch yourself while getting me off. I don't know what you think of your own bits, but you know, you deserve to feel good too!"
That was one of the longest pauses yet, Taiya's eyes unfocusing. Mira nearly called the entire thing off before he dove for her, immediately licking a stripe between her folds. She squealed, immediately falling back onto the bed as he continued, tongue circling her clit several times before lapping gently at it. Taiya continued to lap at her clit, tongue moving around until he found where she gasped the loudest and focused there. For a moment, she almost thought she felt a prickling down there, like something sharp barely grazing the skin.
But damn, Taiya was good at this. Mira's hips ground into his face, her hands grabbing his hair tightly. "Taiya," she moaned, feeling his tongue tease her folds open. "Oh my god, Taiya. This is amazing." Yeah, Norio would not have been this good even if he had wanted to eat her out. For once, she wondered if she was actually going to have an orgasm with a guy. Maybe she should have fucked more guys without dicks before, she thought hazily. "Oh fuck. There, Taiya. Oh fuck." She was so close. Honestly, she could probably cum just from Taiya going straight back to her clit.
Fuck, she really could just cum like this. Taiya wasn't doing this to fulfill his own ego and please himself. He loved her so much that he wanted her to feel good, and he was putting all of him into it.
"Taiya," she moaned. "Fuck. Finger. Put a finger in me. Fuck, I'm so close, I just-"
Taiya stopped.
No. He froze, just like before. Only this time, he had hands on her thighs, mouth on her, and she could feel his hands shake and his breath stop before coming fast and hard, then stop again.
"That's enough." Mira sat up, scooting back slightly. Fuck, she was so close, her pussy was throbbing so much with the need to cum, but that wasn't important right now! "Hey. Taiya. Can I hug you?" She wasn't really sure what to say or how to say it, but a hug was good, right? People liked hugs, and they were comforting.
Taiya didn't respond to that, his eyes still staring straight forward, unfocused. Mira bit her lower lip, trying to figure out what to do next. What would help? She really didn't know. Maybe sit next to him? Would that help, or would he freak out? No matter what, she wasn't leaving him alone. Something was wrong, and she wanted to help. No, she had to help. But before she could figure out what to do, he inhaled deeply, shaky. "Yeah," he said, voice low and to himself. "Yeah, lay back, I can put a finger in you."
"No, we're not doing that anymore," Mira said firmly. "Taiya, I asked you another question and you were still freaking out about something. What's wrong, Taiya? I don't want to have sex if it's going to freak you out this much."
He stared up at her, confused with slight hurt lurking around the edges, and Mira couldn't help herself. She flung herself off the bed, hugging him tightly.
"Mira…" Taiya whispered, a shaking hand on her arm. "Mira, let me go."
Okay, hug was the wrong thing to do. Mira immediately let him go, sitting back and putting her hands on her thighs. "I'm not angry," she told him, her voice quiet. "I'm really not. We can have sex later, if you want. But right now, something I said made you incredibly upset."
Taiya looked down at her hands, then took a deep breath. "It's not you. Mira, oh god, it wasn't you. I'm honestly extremely wet right now. You taste great and you sound great and you're just…" He looked up at her, smiling slightly with only love in his eyes. "You're great. I just… can't get off."
Mira frowned. Oh, that sucked a lot. He was turned on so much, but he couldn't finish? Wow, was that something that happened to trans guys when they… no, wasn't it completely the opposite? Mira had no idea. But that clearly was bothering him a lot. "Okay," she told him. "Taiya… if something is wrong… if something…" Oh no, a thought just occurred to her. He was so distressed that it was possible. "If… if someone assaulted…"
She couldn't say it. She couldn't think it. Not Taiya. Not someone she cared so much about. It was too cruel if Taiya…
But the world was cruel, wasn't it? She watched him freeze up again, his eyes wide as his mouth fell open as he gasped for air. Mira started to lean forward, to hug him, then rocked back. That had been the wrong thing before. She bit her lower lip again, trying to figure out what would be the right thing.
"Mira, no," he whispered, each breath harsh and nearly drowning each quiet word. "Mira, I told him it's okay. It just hurt. And it always hurts to put something there, wet or not. I'll be fine. I can put a finger in you."
"Him?"
No fucking way that was Chasshiro. To be fair, he probably did know it hurt Taiya, but he wasn't the one who first found out. Probably found out the first time they had sex. Or if they had, she had a feeling Chasshiro was still figuring stuff out. But no way sex with Chasshiro had been that traumatic.
Nor Genba. He was just like Chasshiro. He wouldn't hurt Taiya during sex so badly it was this traumatic. It would be like Chasshiro, him finding out and not pushing further. They all loved Taiya as much as Taiya loved them, and would not turn a painful experience into a traumatic one.
Fuck, that meant he had been assaulted by someone he trusted, if he thought... Probably his first time, too. And… and it sounded like he was forced to consent, which didn't sound like actual consent to her! Mira cautiously touched one of his hands, watching, making sure he didn't freak out again. "If you want to talk about it, Taiya," she said quietly, "I'm here. That kind of assault… it's not your fault, okay? And we-"
"Mira?" Taiya blinked rapidly. "What are you talking about? I consented."
"That's not real consent!" she insisted. "No guy should force you to agree to-" She swallowed hard. "I don't care what he said. You felt like you had to say yes. That isn't…"
"But…" Taiya shook his head, brows furrowing. "Guys shouldn't be virgins. And that was the first payment." His hand rose to his neck, and Mira's inhaled sharply. He had worn that choker since he rescued her from that wedding and turned her world upside down. But she thought he wore it because he knew it looked sexy. Not… not that it was hiding…
"Taiya…" she whispered. What did she say? What would be the least horrifying thing to say that wouldn't be the source of her nightmares for years to come? "Taiya, you… it's okay, I think I can guess what…"
Her voice trailed off as Taiya unhooked the choker, slowly lowering it. The left side stuck to his neck, leaving a nauseating red streak behind. Mira could see the same kind of streaks on Taiya's fingers as he held it. Showing a… a…
"Is that blood?"
Mira clasped her hands over her mouth, horrified at what came out of her mouth. Because yeah, duh. What else would it be? But that meant that he had fresh, wet blood on the left side of his neck. And he had said the first payment, which… did he mean he had to keep… did whoever hurt him make him go back to him? Did this jerk make Taiya go back to do that to his neck? Was that why Taiya kept that choker on?
Oh, she was going to kill whoever this was.
"Yeah," he said, looking down at his hands.
Mira lowered her hands, taking a deep breath. "Does anyone else know?"
Did anyone else know about this kind of repeated assault? Holy shit, did that guy make his stupid "payments" be both making him bleed and the… the other kind assault?
Taiya's lips twitched slightly. "Genba knows. Chasshiro too. They had to take care of a lot of things for me. No one else." He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "Mira… I knew what I was getting into. He told me what it was going to do. So please… don't be afraid."
Of what? Mira nearly asked that, the words frozen in her throat as Taiya, for once, smiled wide enough to show nearly all his teeth. No, she realized, he was baring them at her. He was… baring his fangs.
And now, if she looked, she could see the blood still oozing, very slowly, out of two round punctures…
Everything suddenly made sense and she wished it didn't.
The world suddenly became much crueler as she realized what Taiya had been forced to do.
"Holy shit, Taiya. Who did this to you?" Mira turned to her clothes, hands patting for her Changer. She wasn't going to let this slide. She was going to make him pay for hurting her Taiya. "Payment? No one should ask for you to pay for something with your body and your life! That's not- Holy shit, Taiya. I'm sorry. I can't change what happened, but-"
"Mira?"
"-I'll do my best to… oh. What's up?"
"You're not afraid?"
Mira frowned. What an odd thing to ask. No way. Why should she be afraid of Taiya? "Why should I be? You're still Taiya."
He blinked rapidly, reaching up to press a thumb to a fang. It immediately drew blood, a bead that ran down his skin as he showed it to her. "I could kill you without thinking," he told her quietly. "Or bite you and turn you. Chasshiro and Genba were afraid. They knew I was a predator and could really hurt them. Why aren't you?"
"Because you're Taiya." Mira looked him directly in the eyes, taking his hands and squeezing. She was getting his blood on her, but that didn't matter. Taiya mattered. "You'd never hurt any of us. And even if you wanted to, I don't care! Someone assaulted you, hurt you, and changed you!" She squeezed his hands again, trying to get across how she cared about the fact someone hurt him. The fact he wanted to drink her blood could worry her once Taiya was okay. "You said you could kill me… is that why you won't at least touch yourself?"
He nodded, slowly. "Yeah. Since… yeah. The first person I tried to have sex with since both my transitions… when I…"
Oh. He was afraid to get off, because he might kill them.
"That's terrible. You have an entire part of your life now that you're afraid of!" Mira shook her head. No one should be terrified of their own body like that! And after transition… that should have helped him become more comfortable, not scare him more! "Come here. I know you won't hurt me if you hug me."
Slowly, Taiya leaned forward, resting against her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. Mira could feel him shaking, his breaths wet and shivering, and decided she didn't want to say anything about him trying not to cry. No, what mattered was how upset he was about all of it being called assault, as if it never occurred to him that his "consent" really wasn't consent. Trans? A vampire? That was a discussion for another time.
Right now, what mattered was the man in her arms.