Chapter Text
“Hitori… Hitori… Hitori…”
Huh? Whaaatt? No… I don’t wanna get up
Everything seemed so nice. I was laying in bed with several giant stuffed animals, palm trees surrounded me along with tons of gold filling up the room. Everything seemed at peace. I don’t wanna get up for school.
“Hitori!”
“Arggg… I don’t wanna get up mom…”
“Hehehe.”
Upon hearing that familiar laugh, I opened my eyes and my vision was becoming more clear. As soon as the blurry view disappears I see a red haired girl with a bright and beautiful smile in front of me. It was Kita, the guitarist and singer from my band. I feel my face heat up from both embarrassment and of how pretty she was.
I looked around and noticed we were all alone in the classroom. School was over and there was no one around but us. I shake my head, trying to snap myself back to reality.
“AH!”
Kita looks at me with what feels like a genuine smile.
“Glad to see your back to reality Hitori-chan.”
“H-how long was I out…?”
Kita looks up with a finger on her chin, wondering the answer to my question.
“Mmmm…. Not long.”
I sigh in a somewhat relieved mood. Kita claps her hands together and looks at me with a particular look.
Oh no… I know this look. She definitely wants me to do something… Something I might not like…
“So Hitori… since it’s our third year and you haven’t joined a club or a sport… I was thinking…”
Here it goes…
“Maybe we could try out the basketball team!”
My mind goes blank for a moment.
Kita lets out a somewhat nervous laugh.
“I know it might seem intimidating but it’s really fun once you get the hang of it! Trust me.”
At this point it was hard to listen to Kita’s explanation as I was about to pass out yet again. Kita notices my shaking and tries to calm me down. She holds my hands which makes me even more nervous and my face becomes even more red because of this. She leans in with her sparkling eyes and reveals a begging-like expression.
Unable to say no, I accept defeat.
“O-okay…”
Kita’s expression immediately changes to a bright smile and a light shines out of her, hitting my face with full force.
“YAY!”
She jumps out of her seat, still holding onto my hands. My heart beats a little faster.
“Trust me you won’t regret this Hitori!”
We grab our things and head to the gym. Kita still holds onto my hand.
Oh god… I’m so glad… but my hand isn’t too sweaty is it? She thinks gross huh..? I should let go so she doesn’t have to hold hands with a lower creature like me-
“We’re here.”
“Huh? Oh right…”
Kita squeezes my hand quickly, letting it go and turns to me.
“I’m going to change into something more sporty. Are you fine with just your tracksuit?”
“Oh, yes…”
“Great, be back in a sec.”
She gives me a smile and leaves to go get changed. I set our stuff to the side and take a seat.
Geez… I can’t believe I’m doing this… But I’m glad I’m spending more time with Kita-chan… Wait, are there no other students here…? Shouldn’t there be a group hosting tryouts or practice maybe?”
I scroll through my phone for a bit, reading the comments from my guitar hero videos. Kita comes back wearing a basketball jersey, shorts and had her hair tied up in a ponytail. My chest begins to feel a bit heavy.
“Alright, I’m back!”
I stand up and prepare myself.
“Okay Hitori, tryouts don’t start until next week so I thought we would just practice a little to see if you like it. Is that okay?”
So it is just us… At least no one’s around here to see how much of an embarrassment I am….
I nod. Kita explains to me the basics of the game. She takes out a ball and we practice passing the ball for a bit. She also shows me how to move and of course I struggle, revealing my awkward movements while she performs at a smooth rate. After a while Kita shows me how to best shoot a shot into the basket. She throws it into the basket perfectly, she grabs the ball and passes to me.
“Ready Hitori-chan?”
“Yeah…”
I look down at the ball and then stare at the basket. I start to panic slightly.
Oh god will I even make it? Wait… why am I worrying so much, it’s not even an actual game… But…
I look over at Kita who looks at me with an encouraging smile and omits a shining aura around her. My face heats up once more.
Okay… this shouldn’t be that hard…
I take a deep breath, I raise the ball, I aim… and shoot!
As the ball leaves my hands, it goes towards the direction of the basket, high up but not too over the area of the basket.
Wait… it’s close… actually it’s gonna make it in!
The ball approaches closely. I glance at Kita who also watches in amazement. I smile at her.
She’s so…
Suddenly she turns to face me, her face changes to a scared look.
“Hitroi!”
Huh? Why is she-
Suddenly I feel a hard cold and round texture hit against my face. I stumble down to the floor, hitting my head against the floor. I feel a warm liquid leave my nose.
“Hitori!”
————————————————————————————————————————
I open my eyes and I face a familiar ceiling, that being the nurse's room.
“Hitori! Thank goodness you’re okay.”
I look to my side and see Kita, still in her basketball uniform. She grabs my hand and leans closer.
“I’m so sorry Hitori… I should’ve never forced you to do this…”
I stare at Kita who looks awful. I slowly get up.
“No! It’s okay… in fact I had fun…”
Kita looks at me with a confused expression.
“R-really?”
“Y-yeah… I know I’m not really good at going out and doing things that are out of my comfort zone… but I always have fun when I’m with you Kita-chan…”
Kita’s face lights up and her skin turns red. Mine does as well.
Oh god what I said was embarrassing wasn’t it…?
I close my eyes and shake my head.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to say something so-”
I feel Kita’s hands squeeze and grasp mine. She shakes her head and smiles at me.
“No, it’s okay I always have fun whenever I’m with you Hitori!”
Hearing these words made something in my stomach feel odd. I was so nervous hearing these words yet I’ve never been so happy. Kita, while still holding onto my hand, gently rubs her thumb against it.
“Here, I’ll walk you to the station. Let me go to the bathroom first and get changed. Wait here okay?”
“Right…”
She leaves the room. I looked down at my hands, trying to imprint that feeling of her holding onto them and I couldn’t help but smile. Suddenly I hear the door open up and look up.
“Ah, that was quick Kita-”
Ah, it’s not Kita…
It was a girl with short coral pink hair and she wore a red bow on top as well. She quietly looks at me and raises her voice in an awkward manner.
“Ah, sorry, is the nurse here?”
I look around and that appears to be the fact. The nurse wasn’t here, I guess she had to leave after Kita and I came in, which made sense as it was past school hours.
“Ah, well… no…”
“Ah, I see that’s a shame.”
She walks around the room, opening up cabinets looking for something.
Should she be doing that if the nurse isn’t here…? Maybe I should say something…
Before I could even speak up, my head played a vision of what would happen if I were to.
‘OH And??? What are you going to do about it? You’re just some pinked haired loser, hey why don’t you give me your lunch money?’
I grab the sheets tightly and cover myself.
Maybe I’ll just pretend I didn’t see anything.
Then I hear her voice.
“Say… you wouldn’t happen to know where the nurse keeps the ice, would you?”
Is she talking to me…?
I pretend to not hear her.
“Umm… are you ignoring me…?”
I jumped up at this comment.
“S-sorry are you talking to me…?”
“Uh… well… there isn’t anyone else here… sorry I really didn’t mean to-”
I get out of bed on all fours.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I swear! I’ll give you my lunch money, please don’t hurt me.”
“Uh…”
I look up and the girl gives me a confusing look. She then widens her eyes then closes them and shakes her head.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, honest!”
“Oh…”
I get back in bed feeling completely stupid and fighting the urge to bash my head against the wall, refusing to do so as I don’t wanna further embarrass myself.
She walks up to me with a smile.
“I’m sorry, let’s start over, my name is Sayori and I'm a third year… What's your name?”
She puts her hand out for a handshake.
“Oh… Hitori Gotoh…third year as well..”
I accepted her handshake.
“Nice to meet you Hitori-chan!”
Already starting with first names…?
As she greeted me, I noticed she was rubbing her head the whole time. I thought it was her trying to deal with my weird presence and the awkward vibe but…
“Um… Sayori-chan… does your head hurt?”
“Ah, yes… I accidently hit my head while trying to reach something on a high shevel…”
“I see…. Well I think the ice should be in the freezer over there…”
I point towards the freezer and silence fills the room. Sayori looks at me with a blank expression then immediately closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out.
“Yeah that would make sense, oops.”
She bonks her head with her fist like some kind of anime character and immediately reacts.
“Ow! Forget, my head is still in pain.”
She makes her way towards the freezer and takes out an ice bag. She then sits in the bed next to me, facing towards me. She puts the bag on her head and smiles while kicking her feet.
“So, what happened to you?”
“Oh… I uh…”
Should I tell her what really happened…? No… Today’s been embarrassing enough… But what cool story could I tell? Maybe I could tell her I got into a fight protecting an innocent girl? Or how I jumped into the street to save a kid from getting run over by a car? Or-
“Was it a sports accident?”
Huh? How did she…?
“You’re wearing a tracksuit so that’s why my mind went to sports…was that not it?”
“N-no you were right…”
“Hehehe cool… Anyhow, what sport do you play, Hitori?”
“Oh… I don’t play any… My friend thought I should try out for the basketball team since it’s our last year and since she helps them out from time to time, she’d figured she could introduce me to it… but I’m not really good at it…”
“Ah, I see… Well, I’m not in any sports but.. I am in the Literature club!”
“Oh… our school has a literature club?”
Sayori looks down with a gloomy expression.
“Yeah… not many members are in it but it's a really fun club… we read and write poems, our club may be small but the members in it are great people!”
“Ah, I see…”
I think she’s trying to sell me to join her club…
Sayori looks over to my bed and sees me and Kita’s guitars.
“Wait, are those yours?”
“Ah, well… one of them is mine, the other belongs to my friend.”
“So you play guitar? That’s so cool! But wait… I’ve never seen you in the school’s music club though…”
“Ah that’s because I play in a band outside of school.”
Sayori jumps out of her bed and gets closer to me. Her eyes sparkle.
Whoa! She’s kind of like Kita…
“Really? That’s so cool! Tell me more!”
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride…
I can’t believe it… Someone thinks I’m cool!
So right after I start telling her about Kessoku band, how we came to be, our first mini album and music video that just released, as well as how I work as Starry. Sayori was just filled with amazement all the way through.
Just then, the door opens and Kita walks through.
“I’m back, Hitori! Ah… sorry I didn’t know anyone else was here.”
Sayori looks over to Kita.
“Ah, you must be Hitori’s friend, Kita-chan right? Hitori was telling me about your band.”
Kita shoots me a suspicious look, raising her eyebrow directly at me.
“Really now…?”
Right… Kita-chan knows how I could… sort of blow things out proportion at times…
Sayori smiles at her.
“Yup, she was telling me how pretty and amazing you are, especially your singing.”
This catches Kita off guard and she quickly looks down at the floor, her face and head turn extremely red, to the point I see steam coming out of her like a teapot. I do the same as well.
“A-ah… is that so…? Good to know…”
Sayori looks at us with a puzzled face but ignores this.
“Well… we should get going… Hitori you need to finish the lyrics don’t you?”
I pop back into reality shaking my head.
“Right! I need to do that…”
We’ve been working on a new song recently… To be honest I sort of been a little behind…
Sayori then looks over to me, she jumps over to me, holding my hands.
“Wait, you write the lyrics to your band’s songs?”
“Y-yes…”
“That’s amazing! You should totally join the literature club!”
I look behind Sayori and see Kita, crossing her arms and pouting a bit.
Is she mad…?
She makes an obvious cough, making Sayori turn around. Kita smiles, holding her hands together in the most polite manner that she could.
“Sorry Sayori, but we need to go, Hitori has to catch the train.”
“Ah, sorry but you should join too, Kita-chan! Oh, won’t you two at least check it out?”
Me and Kita looked at each other with confused looks.
“Well… why not… we’ll check it out. Is that okay Hitori-chan?”
I really didn’t want to but… If Kita-chan’s going…
“Y-yeah!”
Sayori claps her hands and jumps up.
“Yay! Thank you, you two won’t regret it!”
I feel like I’m having deja vu…
We made our goodbyes and headed to the station.
————————————————————————————————————————
As we walked to the station, Kita and I did not say a single word. She just kept walking super close to me, normal than usual.
Is she…? Cold?
“Um, Kita, are you cold? If you want I can lend you my jacket…”
“No, I’m not really… Actually… I wouldn’t mind.”
I take off my pink tracksuit sweater and hand it to Kita who looks a bit hesitant to grab it.
I knew it… She doesn’t wanna wear a sweater from a slimeball like me…
As I hung my head in absolute shame, I heard Kita’s voice slightly raise.
“Um… Hitori, are you sure you won’t be cold? I feel bad for taking it.”
“Huh…?”
To my surprise Kita was only hesitant because she was worried about me. Which made me happy for some reason but at the sametime I felt slightly bad for causing her to worry.
Well… I am a little cold… No! I can’t make Kita worry.
I put my hands on my waist and adjusted my posture, now standing proud and tall, I released a confident laugh.
“Don’t worry, I’m just fine!”
Kita gives me a concerned look.
Great… She thinks I’m a loser…
Suddenly, she cracks a smile and releases a small laugh. She whispers something under her breath at that moment. I asked her if she said anything but she replied with a thanks and wore my tracksuit. My cheeks feel completely red.
We were close to the station.
“Hey, I should probably give your sweater back…”
“N-no it’s fine, I have another one at home…”
Kita stops, I turn around to see her, she looks at the ground and is trying her hardest to avoid eye contact with me.
I understand, it must be hard wearing the jacket of a loser, I wouldn’t want to look at myself either…
“Hitori…are you sure…?”
“Yeah…”
She nods and holds onto my sweater tightly. When looking at her this closely I couldn’t help notice that her face seemed really red.
Is she that bothered by the cold?
“Um Kita…”
Kita jumps up and looks at me nervously.
“I think you should take a warm bath and a good night’s rest… you look really sick… with your red face and all.”
“A-ah, yes… will do!”
My train arrives. I step in and turn around to see Kita smiling at me. I wave her goodbye and she does the same.
Later that night, I laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. The thought of Kita wearing my tracksuit crosses my mind. I cover myself with my blanket and begin to kick my legs.
Why am I like this…?
————————————————————————————————————————
I arrive at the school gate. As I look down at the floor, mentally preparing myself for today, I hear someone call over my name.
“Hitori!”
I look up and see Sayori waving towards me. She runs over to me and greets me with a good morning. I was taken back, even stumbling when she got closer. I honestly didn’t expect her to remember someone like me. We walked towards the school and headed inside.
“So, Hitori, I was actually checking out some of Kesskou band’s songs last night and you guys are amazing!”
“Ah… thank you…”
“And to be honest, I thought you seemed familiar when I first met you, but when I saw you with your black guitar, I finally recognized you… You performed with your band at the school festival and did that really cool bottle trick right?”
Wait, she remembers that?? Hehehe, She definitely thinks I’m the coolest now.
She smiles at me.
“I’m just glad you weren’t seriously injured when you jumped off the stage or else we might have never met!”
My mind freezes, it’s as if the sound of a plate breaking or a record scratching plays in my head. I turn to stone and crumble at the thought of remembering that incident.
Sayori looks at me with a weirded out expression. She waves a hand in front of me.
“Uh, earth to Hitori? Are you okay?”
I shake my head and slap my face in order to bring myself back to my senses.
“Yes!”
“Hehe, anyways you and Kita are coming to the literature club after school right?”
I nod in agreement.
“Great! Can’t wait to see you two… anyhow, I have to ask Hitori… are you… shy?”
Huh… I mean I thought it was pretty obvious…
“Y-yes…”
“Ah, I see, it’s just you remind me of my friend a lot.”
“Friend…?”
“Yes, her name is Yuri and she’s in the literature club as well. She’s not good with people and she also writes pretty dark and depressing lyrics, like in your songs!”
I don't know if that was a compliment or not…
“Well… my class is over there, see you later!”
Sayori runs off to class, bumping into another student and apologizes in a clumsy like way.
As I turn the hall to walk into my class, I bump into someone. I almost fell to the floor but luckily I adjusted my balance. I slowly open my eyes.
“Oww….”
Once my view became clear I see none other than Monkia, the school’s one and only star. Perfect grades, athletic, kind, talent and she was even beautiful. And here I am, the slimey klutz who bumped into her.
I got down to my knees and began to immediately apologize.
“I’m sorry Monkia! It was an accident! Please don’t punish me!
“Ah… Oh, Gotoh right? I didn’t see you there… Hehe, and you don’t have to apologize, if anything I’m sorry. Here, take my hand.”
Monika reaches out for me. I slowly brought my hand up. She takes it and brings me up to her.
“Be sure not to bump into anyone alright? Take care.”
She pats me on the shoulder and makes her way out.
How did she know my name…?
“Hitori-chan!”
I then hear the voice of Kita calling my name from behind. I start to turn around but before I could even face foward, she tackles me with a hug from behind.
“UH G-good morning Kita-chan!”
“Hehehe good morning…”
She lets go of me and opens up her bag. She reaches into it and takes out my sweater, handing it to me.
“Here’s your sweater… thanks for letting me borrow it…”
“Ah, yes… but… are you sure you don’t wanna use it again. It’s gonna be cold today like yesterday…”
“Ah, well I can’t just keep it forever, unless… just kidding hehehe… but okay I’ll borrow it for today…”
I feel my heart starting to beat heavily yet again. The bell rings.
“See ya Hitori! I’ll meet up with you at lunch!”
Kita heads to her class since we were separated this year.
I’m not gonna be able to focus in class aren’t I?
————————————————————————————————————————
After surviving through another school day, I met up with Kita.
“Hitori-chan! Over here!”
She waves to me at the end of the hall. I walked up to her and we made our way to the literature club.
“Sayori told me it was on the top floor, I can’t wait to check it out.”
“Uh, Kita, are you sure you wanna go to this club, I don’t wanna force you to go…”
Kita looks down for a moment.
“Well, to tell you the truth, I was a little skeptical about going… when Sayori asked us to go, I felt like she was pressuring you to go… but I remember what you said about me…”
“About you…?”
“Y-yeah… that as long as you’re with me, you’ll have fun so…”
“Kita…”
“A-anyhow… I actually know someone who’s in the club.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, she’s an old friend of mine and I had her for my first year class.”
We turned the hall and made it to the door.
“Well… here we are. Excuse us!”
Kita opens the door and we are suddenly greeted by Monkia.
“Hi Kita, glad you and Gotoh made it!”
“Huh, Monkia?! You’re in the Literature Club?”
Monkia looks at me with a smile.
“Yup and I’m not just in the club, I’m the president too.”
As I hold out a shocked expression, Kita walks next to Monkia with her hand out.
“You see, me and Monkia have been friends for a few years…And she actually told me recently that she created the club!”
“Hello we’re her-”
I turn and see none other than Sayori, however two girls were right behind her. A tall girl with purple hair and a book in her hand. As soon as she sees us she hides behind Sayori and covers her face with the book she’s holding. The other girl was smaller, way shorter than Sayori and the girl behind her. She had pink hair and was carrying a plate of cupcakes. Upon looking at her she pouts at me and looks away.
I put my hands up and back away.
“A-ah s-sorry for intruding… I’ll leave…”
Sayori looks at me with a confused expression.
“Whaatt you just got here Hitori!”
Monkia steps and lets out a small chuckle.
“Sorry about them, it’s just been the four of us for a few weeks, they’re not used to meeting new people.”
“Argg… why are they here Monika?”
The pink haired girl steps up, glaring at me and Kita for a moment and then looking up to Monkia.
“Well… this is Kita and Gotoh, they’re interested in checking out the club. Please be nice to them Natasuki, we could use new members you know?
“We’ll whatever… at least they’re not boys…”
Natasuki sets the cupcakes on a desk and walks over to the corner. She opens the closet, taking out some manga and sits down to read.
“That was Natasuki… I know she seems rough but she’s a good person deep down…hehehe… anyhow I’m assuming you two already know Sayori, so that only leaves Yuri.”
The tall purple haired girl from behind steps forward nervously and bows. I see her body shaking.
“H-hi… nice to me you, I’m Yuri…”
“A-ah… nice to meet you, I’m Gotoh…”
I feel a stare from both Monika and Kita, as well as a chuckle from them. Yuri walks past us and sits down at a desk, opening her book and becoming invested in her novel.
Monika explains to me and Kita about how things usually go. Typically the first half of the club is spent reading while the second half is spent writing poems which were shared with others. While Monkia discusses a few things with Kita, I sit down awkwardly not knowing what to do. I had a few rock magazines in my bag so I took one out to read and pass the time. While reading I felt a sort of weird tension nearby.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Yuri making quick glances at me, looking at me and looking back at her book.
Oh no… does she hate me…? Should I say something…?
I decided to take a risk.
I slowly move to the left and look at Yuri.
“Hi… did I umm… did I do something wrong…? If I did… I’m sorry…”
“N-no not at all! I just noticed that you were reading a magazine… So you play in a band and write for one right…?”
“Y-yes…”
Wait, how does she know that…?
“I saw you and the Kesskou band play at the school festival… and I listen to your songs quite often… ”
“R-really?”
Yuri’s face turns red.
“Y-yeah… I actually connect with them quite a bit…”
OH MY, AM I MEETING A FAN IN REAL LIFE WHO APPRECIATES MY MESSAGES?
“Say… Hitori, did you wanna help me make some tea?”
I snap out of my happy mood and look at Yuri to confirm what she just said.
“Tea…?”
“Yes…”
She gets up and from the back closet, she pulls out a tea set along with an empty pitcher.
“Wow, does the teacher allow you to have that?”
“Yes, they do, I-I uh… was going to fill the pitcher with water… wanna come?”
I look at Kita who makes eye contact with me and was apparently watching the whole interaction. She shoots me a thumbs up.
I guess this is her way of helping me socialize more… but Yuri’s kind of like me actually… Maybe it won’t be so bad.
I agreed to go with Yuri, we told Monika of our out going and went to fill the pitcher with water at the fountain. The two of us stayed quiet afterwards.
Crap! This is awkward, I’m really killing the mood here… what should I talk about…
My mind tried to think of several topics that wouldn’t bore her or make her cringe… that’s when I remembered.
“Um… Yuri… I wanted to ask, what’s that book you’re reading about?”
I know it’s such a basic question but it was the only one I could think of…
Yuri perks up a bit with what looks like excitement.
“Oh, well it’s a really interesting book!’
Yuri suddenly turns red and turns away from me.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to be so loud… You probably don’t wanna be bored from my talking.”
“T-that’s not true! I-I’d like to hear about it.”
Yuri turns around, her face softens up and she reveals a small smile.
“Really?”
I nod.
Normally I would be overwhelmed with social interactions, but Yuri’s just like me! She’s just trying to be friends… so hearing her talk about her book is the least I could do to help her out.
And so, Yuri talks about the book, not just the story but the author, it’s writing style. To be honest… It was pretty overwhelming and my brain was about to fry from the social interaction overload but I had to do it for a fellow introvert!
As Yuri talks about her book she stops after the pitcher’s been filled.
“Say, Gotoh, what kind of tea do you like?”
“Oh… uh… I suppose cherry, I usually get it when Kita invites me to places…”
“Ohhh, I see, you and Kita are pretty close huh…?”
I jump at Yuri’s comment, I feel my face beginning to feel hot.
“Uh… yeah… we’re close…”
Yuri stops walking. I notice this and turn around.
“Um.. sorry if this sounds out of line but… are you two dating by any chance?”
My head freezes and immediately explodes at this question.
“W-what?!?!? N-nooo we’re just friends! That’s all! I mean that would never happen! A-and I’m not saying that because Kita’s a bad person or anything! Far from it! She’s pretty, really good at basketball and singing, she’s so nice to me, she looks after me, she gives the best hugs-”
I immediately stop and look down in shame after realizing what I’ve been saying. I look down in embarrassment.
I hear a door open and see Monika pop out.
“Hey, there you guys are, got the pitcher filled?”
I couldn’t say a word, still frozen up over the question Yuri asked. Until suddenly.
“Yes, Monika, we’re just about done, I’ll prepare the tea.”
I walk back into the room, Kita spots me and notices my typical Bocchi behavior. She walks up to me with a concerned look, placing a hand on my arm.
“Hitori, is everything fine?”
“Y-yes…”
Kita shoots me an unconvinced look but I walk over to a desk and begin reading my magazine to forget the whole fiasco.
A few minutes pass by and that’s when I see a cup of tea along with a note being set on my desk. I looked up and it was Yuri. She leaves a note beside my cup. I look around the room to make sure nobody was looking and I open the note it reads:
“Sorry for asking such personal questions… I understand if you don’t want to talk with me after this.”
What! No! Great my first day in the club and I already managed to get someone to hate me… I have to fix this.
I take out a small piece of paper and begin to write an apology. I see that Yuri was done with handing out everyone’s tea.
Should I walk up and give it to her? No that would be too awkward… maybe I’ll just throw it.
I aim my paper at Yuri and… There! The paper flies and hits her by the cheek.
Crap!
Yuri makes a slight gasp. Monika looks up in confusion.
“Yuri? Is something wrong.”
“Yes… I…”
She looks down at the paper and looks over to me. I feel my whole body shaking.
“Sorry… It’s just this plot twist, really got to me….”
“Ahhhh I see… Hehehe well carry on.”
Yuri reads my note. I look away as I’m too afraid to see her reaction. Then she gets out of her chair slowly and approaches.
Wait, is she angry?!
“Uh… Gotoh-san… do you by any chance wanna read together? It’s my favorite book…”
Huh… I guess she accepted my apology afterall…
“Oh… Y-yes!”
She pulls up the chair next to me and brings the two desks together, she places the book in the middle and turns to the first page.
“Oh, are you sure you want to start over?”
“Yes it’s fine. Just let me know when you’re ready to turn to the next page.”
We began to read in silence. An awkward tension fills between us.
Yuri leans slightly closer to me and whispers.
“Thank you for writing that note… I’m glad…”
“Huh? Oh yeah…”
“I’m just glad to know there’s someone else who has trouble talking with others…”
Yuri lets out a quiet laugh and smiles. I feel my face heat up a bit. After reading for a bit, Monika stands up and walks to the center of the room.
“Alright, I think that’s enough reading for today, it’s time for today’s poem readings.”
The four main members of the club stand up and prepare their poems. They all went up one by one, they were all interesting and revealed some parts of the girls I didn’t expect. Everyone in the room looks up and listens in.
After poem sharing was done, Monika asked me and Kita if we were still interested in joining the club. Kita and I looked at each other with unsure looks.
“Well… I think we need some more time to think about it… But the poem reading is really fun! I definitely want to come back and try it! What about you, Hitori-chan?”
“Y-yeah I don’t mind it…”
Monika smiles at us.
“Well, you can come by tomorrow and this time you can read a poem you personally wrote and share it with us!”
Kita claps her hands together.
“That sounds great! Well… we have to get going.”
Kita turns to me and holds my hand, I feel my face burn up yet again.
“I have to use the bathroom first, wanna tag along Hitori?”
“Um.. I-I’ll wait here…”
“Okay, I’ll be back!”
Kita leaves the room, I look down at the floor and release a sigh of relief. That’s when I realize Monika’s presence still in front of me. I look up and see her standing in front of me with a smug smile and one hand on her waist.
“You know Gotoh…I’m sure you know this as a songwriter… but poems allow us to express our emotions…”
“Y-yeah…”
She leans in closer.
“So, that being said, your lyrics are so gloomy but feel so real… they’re great!”
“Thanks…”
“But I can’t help but wonder about that one song you wrote… If I could be a constellation . Was that towards someone… someone special?”
I feel my face heat up a bit more, my hand starts to feel heavy.
“Someone like… Kita-chan?”
The meter in my brain goes off and breaks, making the top of my head pop off from an explosion. I hear Monika laugh.
“W-was it that obvious!?”
“Hehehehe sorry Gotoh, it kind of was.”
I hung my head in shame and prepared to shut myself off in the classroom’s closet. That’s until I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was from Monika who looked at me with a sincerince smile.
“Hey now, no need to feel shame, it’s actually really cute!”
I fidget my hands, still feeling a huge amount of embarrassment from the conversation.”
“Sorry for teasing Gotoh, but… are you the type who has trouble expressing your words, at least directly?
I stayed silent, thus confirming her suspicion
“If you want… I could help you confess.”
My head perks up.
“Confess?”
Monika nods.
“Yeah, I know talking isn’t one of your strong suits…”
I feel my body melt from this comment that feels like a direct jab towards me.
“B-but you’re really good at writing! You know… you could use this chance to confess to her, through poetry that is!”
“Uh… I’m not sure… Besides, I don't think she feels the same way.”
Monika looks at me with a deadpan face.
“Gotoh… You have no idea…”
“Huh?”
She shifts back to a smile.
“Anyhow! You don’t have to agree immediately, take some time to think about it. Just know I got your back.”
“O-okay… but why do you wanna help?”
Shoot… was that too blunt? I don’t want to sound rude but why does Monika, the most popular girl in the school, wanna help me? I’m nothing but a low life loser… Maybe she just feels sorry for me… I can’t believe I’m making her do something so pointless.
I get down on all fours and apologize.
“S-sorry! Please forgive me for my patheticness, you don’t have to force yourself to help out a low life slug like me.”
“W-what No that’s not it!”
I look up in confusion and see Monika wave her hands, blushing and looking around the room in a pathic. She leans in.
“Please get up, the others are giving me weird looks.”
“O-oh sorry…”
I get up, Monika sighs and looks off to the side.
“Gotoh.” She says in a serious voice.
I’ve never heard her speak like this…
“I guess the reason why I wanna help is because… I went through a similar situation…and I ruined my chance… and I would hate seeing someone go through the same thing…”
This made me lean in closer, curious to know what she meant by that.
She turns to me with an awkward smile and laugh.
“Hahaha, but that’s a story for another time! Anyways Kita-chan should be coming back, so feel free to think about it, no pressure, okay?”
“O-okay.”
The door opens and Kita-chan calls me over. We said our goodbyes to the clubs and began to head home together.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what Monika said.
Confess my feelings? Through Poetry? And most importantly, what did she mean when she said ‘I ruined my chance?’... I didn’t get it but… what I did understand…
I looked over to Kita who was walking next to me. The light of sunset beaming down towards her and a beautiful smile shining across her face.
Was that Kita was special to me… And my feelings for her… I want to be more than bandmates… More than friends!