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Nearly dying doesn't make living any easier, as I'm finding out. Actually, it just gives you PTSD.
It's been a long time since the accident. Mark couldn't stop worrying about me for a while afterwards. I can't blame him, given it wasn't even certain that I was going to make it. I did, though.
So far.
Mark is doing his best, but I need more than just him to endure my parents. It's... hard to continue. Really hard.
I wish Sofia was here.
She’s… busy these days, with her grandma waking up and all, and she still tries to make time to talk to me, but we couldn’t do much after she moved. It’s suffocatingly lonely without her. I wish we could dance once more, feel each other's heartbeats, all that sappy stuff.
She would know what to say when I’m recovering from yet another fight with my parents.
It only got worse after the hospital. They blamed me for everything that day, and they just couldn’t accept that they were, at least partially, at fault. God, it’s frustrating. And the bruises never stopped. Why would they? I’m just a disappointment to everyone who des–
Stop thinking that, Cathy. You know it’s not good.
Aaaanyways, today, I go to school again. A normal day, by all accounts, but I can’t seem to muster up the motivation to go. I’m just… sitting there. Stagnating.
I know I’ll leave the house, but… I don’t want to go to school. I don’t know why. I just can’t bring myself to.
So instead I wander the city for a bit. I walk up and down the streets, and I can’t seem to pay attention to the world around me. I look at a store I know, I go here all the time with Mark, but I can’t seem to make out the text on their sign, and I can’t remember its name, I cant’ remember their its, why can’t I remember its name—
I leave the street and walk elsewhere.
I don’t know for how long, but eventually I find myself outside a K-mart. One very similar to the one I went to with Mark that one time, but a different one.
I sit down. And then I spot her. Sofia.
How the fuck is she HERE???
She also spots me, and comes running towards me, before embracing me in a hug.
“CATHY!! I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!! EEEEEEEEE—”
It takes me a moment to take it all in.
“Wait wait wait. Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be… elsewhere?” I ask.
Sofia replies, “Dummy! I’m coming to take you home, idiot!”
My heart sinks for a moment, before I realize that she’s not talking about my house, she’s talking about home.
“Sofia… how?”
“I’m back, dummy! It wasn’t a permanent move.”
I stand there, dumbfounded.
“Okay, okay, okay, I guess I’m not technically taking you to a sleep-here-always place, but I wanted to make you somewhere where you can always come and feel safe!!! Let’s go walk there right now!”
I can’t believe it. She’s here. She’s really here.
We go to the destination and take in the sight of the treehouse.
“Woah… But—myparentswont—”
“What are they gonna do about it? What the boss don’t know, the boss won't mind, dummy!” Sofia says.
“I— I don’t—” I start, but then I close my mouth, before opening it again. “I think I just wanna kiss you.”
We kiss about it. I’ll save the details, but it’s wonderful. I feel like I can take anything as long as she’s here.
I know that I’ll return to my parents. I know it will be painful. But, in this moment, I know that Sofia is here right beside me. And I know that one day I can finally stand up to them and leave, and be free to be with Sofia, and be free, and be free, and ohmygod I just want to hug her forever I’m overflowing with joy and it’s all going to be worth it, just for this moment. I’m so fucking glad there’s going to be so many more.
I can do it. I can live on. You’re so worth it, Sofia.