Chapter Text
Eddie blinked tiredly, checking the time in the corner of his laptop screen for the tenth time in the past hour.
Not quite time to leave for work.
He sighed, flexing his fingers and rolling his wrists, trying to relieve some of the tension that came from hours of relentless studying and schoolwork. A necessary evil, he had to remind himself.
From the bed beside him, he heard the sound of sheets rustling paired with a loud yawn.
Oh, great.
Buck was waking up.
Eddie first met Buck on move-in day, the week before his first day of college. They had been assigned as roommates, to share a small dorm on campus during their freshman year. Upon first impression, Eddie thought he and Buck might end up being friends. The guy had a friendly smile and kind blue eyes, excitedly introducing himself to Eddie with the energy of a golden retriever— the similarity emphasized by his blonde curls and large frame.
Things quickly changed when it became clear that the two were entirely incompatible.
Buck was reckless, irresponsible, and stubborn. He didn’t take his classes seriously, he stayed up all night and slept late into the day, and he was constantly partying. Then there was the way he was always on Eddie’s case about keeping the dorm unreasonably clean, and the snide jabs and remarks.
Though Eddie supposed he wasn’t completely innocent in that regard, either.
And the thing that was somehow the most frustrating of all— the thermostat.
Don’t even get Eddie started on the thermostat.
In short, Buck was the most frustrating person Eddie had ever met— and according to the resident housing office at their school, they wouldn’t even consider a roommate change until the end of the semester.
Just 6 weeks left.
Luckily, Buck was pretty quiet when he first woke up, allowing Eddie a few extra minutes of peace to continue studying as he clambered out of bed and into their small shared bathroom. Though that comfort was short-lived, broken when Buck emerged and immediately began complaining— like always.
“Dude,” Buck huffed. “Are you ever going to do your dishes? I swear, they’ve been sitting in the sink for days.”
Eddie rolled his eyes.
“I’ll clean when I can. Between studying and my job, I’m pretty busy. Not that you would understand.” He muttered the last part under his breath, though he was certain Buck had still heard him.
Of course, Buck had time to worry about how clean the dorm was. He didn’t have a job, and Eddie was certain he’d never seen him do homework or study. Was Eddie a bit messy? Sure, but he was busy. Buck could deal with it.
“We get it, you’re a perfect student, but cleaning is like a basic adult thing. You have to clean up after yourself, man. We share this place.”
“Don’t remind me,” Eddie grumbled. “I’d rather forget you exist, actually.”
“God, you’re such a dick,” Buck snapped at him, not the first time he’d used that one on Eddie.
“And you’re a brat!” Eddie flung back— again, not for the first time.
Buck scoffed, armed with another retort, but a knock at the door interrupted him. He crossed the small room quickly, opening the door as his scowl transformed into a wide grin.
“Connor!”
Eddie fought the urge to groan loudly in irritation.
Remember that thing about Buck being the most frustrating person Eddie had ever met?
Scratch that.
Connor was the most frustrating person Eddie had ever met.
From what Eddie could gather, Connor and Buck had been best friends from high school in their home state of Pennsylvania, having moved to Texas together for college. Eddie could only guess why they would choose Texas, but he suspected it had something to do with God having a vendetta against Eddie personally. Maybe they were his punishment for not going to church anymore.
Connor had all of Buck’s worst traits, amplified, and then some.
He was a cocky douchebag, and as much as Eddie disliked Buck, he still couldn’t understand why he would want to be friends with Connor. He seemed entirely self-absorbed, always yammering on about himself, asking Buck for favors, and only ever inviting Buck to hang out if they were going to get drunk or high.
Connor stepped past Buck, into their dorm, and Eddie failed to hold back an irritated huff. The shorter man rolled his eyes in Eddie’s direction with a sneer. “Relax, Diaz. I’m not staying long.” He turned to face Buck, sliding the backpack off his shoulders with a grin. “My dad is coming to get lunch with me and help me hook up my new TV, so I really need you to hide these.” He unzipped the bag, pulling out bottle after bottle of various alcohols and handing them off to Buck, who took them with a chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah. No problem.” Buck began storing the bottles under his bed, just barely out of sight, as Connor zipped his bag back up and started for the door. “Have fun with your dad!”
“I will. See you tonight!”
And with that, Connor was gone.
“You know you can’t keep those here, right?” Eddie asked, looking pointedly at the bottles. “It’s against the dorm rules, and we’re underage. We could get in a lot of trouble if you get caught.”
Buck rolled his eyes. “It’s college, Eddie. No one cares, and no one is going to come looking.”
Eddie gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
Buck didn’t understand. Maybe he didn’t care about his future, but Eddie did. He had worked hard all through high school to get a scholarship, and there was no way he was going to risk losing it. He had to get good grades, follow the rules, and keep his head down. Buck was asking for trouble, and it was trouble Eddie couldn’t afford. He didn’t even want to think about how his parents would react if he lost his scholarship.
Eddie was pulled from his spiraling frustration by the sight of Buck aggressively adjusting the thermostat, once again raising the temperature by several degrees.
That’s it.
Eddie slammed his laptop shut, standing from the bed and quickly exchanging his t-shirt for his work uniform shirt. He didn’t have to leave for 20 minutes still, but he needed to get away from Buck.
“Going to work,” Eddie gritted out, practically pulling the door off its hinges in his hurry to escape.
Eddie had a love-hate relationship with his job.
He hated the itchy uniform shirt, he hated how rude the customers could be, he hated the Top 40’s pop songs that played on repeat over the store’s loudspeakers, he hated the mindless repetitive nature of scanning items and counting out change. He kind of hated the whole job.
But he loved the paycheck, and most importantly, he loved having another excuse to get away from Buck.
Despite being roommates, the two of them didn’t actually spend that much time together. Their class schedules were almost completely opposite, then there was Eddie’s part-time job, and the fact that Buck was always out partying or sleeping off a hangover.
Unfortunately for Eddie, the store had been so slow tonight that he was sent home early— a perfect opportunity to get some more studying in before an important exam the next day, but it meant he was going to have to see Buck again before he inevitably left to spend the night out.
Coming to a stop just outside the door, Eddie inhaled slowly, trying to center himself before Buck managed to piss him off again.
He swung the door open unceremoniously and stepped in, eyes immediately landing on Buck standing in the middle of the room, hair still wet from the shower, naked. Eddie exclaimed and whipped around to face the door, feeling his cheeks flush hotly.
“Dude! What the hell?”
“What?” Buck asked defensively from behind him.
“Why are you walking around naked? ”
“Uh, because I live here? And I thought I was alone,” he answered like he thought it should be obvious. “Why aren’t you at work?”
“They sent me home early.” The image of Buck’s exposed body, little drops of water sliding down his skin, flashed in Eddie’s mind again, and he felt the heat in his cheeks growing. “Y-You can’t just walk around naked. You’re not the only one who lives here,” he stuttered.
“Relax, man. It’s not like I’m sitting on your bed with no clothes on.”
He heard a shuffling sound behind him, and he focused in on it, trying not to picture Buck undressed in his bed.
“Alright, you can turn around now.” Eddie could hear the eyeroll in his voice.
He swallowed roughly and nervously turned around, half-expecting Buck to still be naked.
Dressed. He was dressed.
Eddie sighed with relief, avoiding eye contact as he walked into their small kitchen— comprised of a sink, a microwave, a single-burner hot plate, a mini fridge, and a coffee maker. He considered making himself dinner, but realized all his dishes were dirty and resigned himself to ordering in.
“I’m heading out,” Buck called from across the small dorm, grabbing one of the bottles from under his bed and slipping on his shoes. “Party at Connor’s.”
Eddie had already seen this coming, but still felt disappointed at the confirmation that Buck would be stumbling in drunk well after Eddie had already gone to sleep. He didn’t bother responding, opting instead to continue scrolling through dinner options while Buck made his exit, and let out a slow breath when the door finally shut behind him.
It wasn’t until the man in question had gone that Eddie realized the dorm was scorching.
Eddie’s jaw tensed as he stomped over to the thermostat and angrily knocked the temperature down from 72°F to 65°F, then, spitefully, 60°F. At that point, even Eddie would end up a bit cold, but that was fine— so long as Buck was uncomfortable, too. He smiled, pleased with himself, and returned to ordering his dinner, wondering how much studying he could manage to get done before tucking in for the night.
The answer was not much. Eddie had an early class in the morning, having to get up at an ungodly hour, so by the time he got comfortable and wolfed down the pizza he ordered, he only managed to get two hours of studying in before he turned out the lights and went to bed.
And like clockwork, he was awoken at nearly 1:00am by Buck’s drunk arrival.
Though unlike most occasions, when Buck would clumsily walk in and fumble around while Eddie wondered if his aim was good enough to throw his pillow at him, tonight the sound all seemed to be coming from the hall outside their door.
Buck had lost his key on a handful of occasions since the school year started, and Eddie never felt sorry for him getting locked out. It was his own fault for being so careless. So when Eddie heard the noise in the hall, he was happy to ignore it. If Buck needed to fall asleep drunk outside their door— so be it. Maybe then Eddie wouldn’t have to listen to him complaining when his alarm went off in a couple of hours.
But when the thumping and bumping against the wall by the door carried on for several minutes, with no end in sight, Eddie regrettably hauled himself out of bed to let Buck inside.
Trust, Eddie would be extra loud in the morning to get back at Buck for disturbing his sleep.
He grumbled the whole way to the door, complaints going unheard as he was the only one in the room, and angrily yanked it open, still half-asleep. Though he was quickly woken the rest of the way up when he saw the source of the noise.
Connor had Buck’s back pressed to the wall, hands pulling him roughly forward by the back of his neck, with what must have been his entire tongue down Buck’s throat. Buck stopped his frantic grasping for the button of Connor’s jeans, breaking their kiss and turning to face Eddie with wide eyes, flushed cheeks, and messy hair.
“E-Eddie,” Buck slurred, sounding shocked at the disruption, eyes a little glassy.
“God, Diaz, don’t you knock?” Connor groaned, hands still glued to Buck.
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but he truly wasn’t sure how. Was he supposed to apologize? Tell them they were being loud? Complain about being woken up?
“You’re in the hall,” is what he settled on, voice flat.
Buck just continued to stare, expression caught somewhere between surprise and… nervousness?
“Yeah, and we’re busy,” Connor grumbled, words slurring together, making Eddie ask himself why he hadn’t just shut the door when he saw what had been going on.
“You’re being loud,” Eddie blurted. “I’m trying to sleep.”
He half expected Buck to roll his eyes at that, to make some remark about how Eddie always complained about the smallest noise, or about how annoying he thought Eddie was— but no such comment came.
“Noted,” Connor scoffed, pulling a still-dazed Buck back into a kiss as Eddie quickly shut the door again, his heart beating weirdly in his chest.
He crawled back into bed, staring at the ceiling and trying his best not to think about what Buck and Connor were doing in the hall. God, that was the last thing he wanted on his mind.
Eddie was no stranger to finding Buck in... compromising situations. During the first month of sharing their dorm, Eddie had unfortunately walked in on more than a few near-hookups, thanks to Buck. It was one of the only back-and-forth arguments between them that actually came to a satisfying conclusion. Well, satisfying enough. It wasn't like they ever talked things out in a mature way; they pretty much just fought and took petty jabs at each other. Toward the end, Eddie was pretty sure Buck was timing his guests' visits intentionally just so that Eddie could walk in and have his mood soured. Buck never apologized, either. One day, he just kind of stopped bringing random girls back to their dorm. Eddie never asked about it; he didn't care. He was just glad it was over.
But Eddie had never walked in on Buck with another guy before, and to be honest, he had been shocked to find him and Connor in that state. But as he thought about it, he supposed it made sense. They were both insufferable, Connor more so than Buck, and it would explain why Buck was always willing to put up with Connor’s selfish nature— he was his… boyfriend? A shitty boyfriend, though. The only time Connor seemed to spend time with Buck was when they were going to a party or if he wanted something from him.
To Eddie’s surprise, the door to their dorm opened just a minute after Eddie had shut it, with Buck stumbling in and rifling through his drawers until he found a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.
Eddie must have ruined the mood. He felt a little awkward, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t a bit pleased about that.
Buck stepped into the bathroom to get changed, noisily opening and closing cabinets as he got ready for bed. By the time he emerged, Eddie could swear he felt his blood pressure rising.
“Jesus Christ, Buck, can you even just try to be quiet? It’s the middle of the night,” Eddie groaned into the dark room, mentally counting the few hours he had left before he was supposed to be awake.
“It’s not even that late,” Buck whined as he walked clumsily over to his bed.
“It is for me! I have an early class and a big exam after.”
“I have a class tomorrow, too,” he muttered, fiddling with his phone charger, the light from his phone screen illuminating his face in the dark room.
“The difference being that I actually care about my grades,” Eddie retorted, glaring despite knowing Buck couldn’t see him.
“Fair enough,” Buck agreed, collapsing diagonally onto his bed and, from the sounds of it, struggling to tug his blankets over his legs. “‘S cold,” he muttered to himself, and Eddie smiled, satisfied despite his own slight chill in the cold room.
“Good.”
Eddie closed his eyes, eager to fall back asleep and get as much rest as possible in the short time he had left, but the silence in the room felt oddly thick.
It was slow growing at first, the weight of the words building on Eddie’s tongue, but they suddenly felt bulky and awkward in his mouth, forcing their way out in a subconscious effort to alleviate the discomfort.
“I didn’t know you and Connor were dating.”
Why did he say that? It wasn’t his business, and he didn’t care. It wasn’t even that interesting, not really. It was just another useless fact about Buck.
Buck slept with socks on. Buck practically inhaled everything he ate. Buck liked cinnamon coffee creamer. Buck stuttered sometimes. Buck was dating Connor.
Who cares?
Not Eddie.
When no response came, Eddie mentally scolded himself, grateful that Buck seemed to have fallen asleep before that stupid comment escaped his mouth. But then—
“We’re not,” Buck mumbled, sounding both drunk and half-asleep.
“Oh.”
The silence returned.
“If you’re homophobic, I’ll smash your laptop.” Buck’s threat was undercut slightly by how exhausted he sounded, but Eddie wasn’t concerned with that.
“Whoa, whoa, no. I’m not. I’m not— that.”
Eddie might have been raised in the church, but he didn't agree with any of the intolerant things that were preached to him for all those years. In fact, it was the hatred, more than anything else, that turned Eddie away from his religious upbringing.
Buck grunted his acknowledgment.
“Alert the press, Eddie Diaz has one redeeming quality,” he mumbled, somehow still capable of being a sarcastic ass even when he was drunk and nearly unconscious.
“Fuck you,” Eddie yawned, rolling his eyes behind his eyelids, feeling himself losing the fight to his own tiredness.
“Right back at you,” Buck sighed slowly, sounding too close to sleep to even know what he was saying.
Eddie tried to respond, barely letting out a hum before sleep overtook him.
—
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEE—
Eddie snapped his hand out from under his duvet, fumbling for his phone to turn off the blaring alarm. With Buck’s interruption, Eddie wasn’t sure exactly how much sleep he’d gotten the night before, but he was certain it wasn’t enough.
“Oh my God, can you stop with all the noise?” Buck groaned from across the room, turning over with a whimper.
Eddie stood from his bed, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not my fault you have a hangover,” he said pointedly, crossing the room to start up the small coffee maker in the kitchen.
“No, but it is your fault that your alarm has been going off for the past half an hour,” Buck grumbled, shoving his pillow over his head.
Half an hour?
Eddie felt his stomach sinking, checking the time on his phone—
“Shit,” he hissed, practically running around the dorm as he got ready for his first class of the day, desperately hoping he wouldn’t end up late.
This was Buck’s fault, of course. If he and Connor hadn’t been making so much noise, waking Eddie up in the middle of the night, he probably wouldn’t have pressed snooze on his alarm so many times this morning.
He dressed in a hurry, brushing his teeth while he shoved his books and laptop into his bag, and threw back a still-scalding cup of coffee. With a sigh, he added his mug to the mountain of other dirty dishes in the sink, knowing Buck was going to complain about it later.
Somehow, by the skin of his teeth, Eddie made it in time for his class— though he was pretty sure his shoes were on the wrong feet.
It was a rough start to his day, but at least he had the relief of knowing Buck would be out for one of his own classes when Eddie returned to the dorm. With that, he was able to take a deep breath and settle in, focusing on every word his professor said and taking diligent notes.
The better his notes, the better he could study, and the better he could study, the better he would do on his exams.
If he were being honest, Eddie didn’t really care about his major— Business. Nothing about it excited him, and he didn’t have any business-related career goals, but his dad thought it was a good idea, and it was a versatile major, which meant he would have a lot of options after he graduated. There would be tons of nice, boring, soul-sucking, respectable jobs that he could do and make his father proud.
So what if it didn’t make him happy? It made his parents happy, and it would hopefully pay the bills one day.
He’d always hoped he’d find a job he was passionate about, maybe something where he could help people, but he knew by this point that it was easiest to just do whatever his parents wanted.
So, he worked hard through high school to get a scholarship, he chose to major in Business (after some heavy-handed advice from his dad), he studied as much as he possibly could— and he sort of hated it. Actually, he really hated it. But he couldn’t dwell too much on that, on the chance that it would kill his motivation and mess up the path he was on.
His head was pounding by the time his lecture ended three hours later— a combination of his lack of sleep, the droning of his professor, and the knowledge that he still had a big exam awaiting him that afternoon.
Yay, college.
Pushing open the door to his absurdly hot dorm room, Eddie silently thanked whoever was responsible for Buck’s schedule being so opposite to his own, kicking off his shoes and crossing the room to the thermostat, turning the temperature down with an angry huff.
He had a few free hours; maybe he should try to squeeze in a nap.
With a groan, he collapsed onto his bed, closing his eyes and drifting off without even turning out the lights.
—
Eddie was awoken some time later by a knock at the door, pulling him out of bed and blinking blearily as he stumbled over.
“I swear to God, Buck, if you woke me up from a nap because you lost your key…” he muttered to himself, reaching for the doorknob, already feeling his irritation rising. Though his irritation gave way to confusion as he swung the door open, finding an unexpected face staring back at him.
“Shannon?”
“Eddie,” she greeted in return, offering a small nod. “I was a little worried I had the wrong room,” she half-joked awkwardly.
Eddie had to wonder if he was having some sort of weird dream, unable to figure out why Shannon would be here— especially now. He hadn’t seen or even spoken to Shannon since they amicably broke up just before their high school graduation.
“Shan, what are you doing here?” he asked, confusion evident in his tone. His eyes trailed down her figure, taking her in.
She still had the same long brown hair and bangs that she’d been sporting since they first became friends at the beginning of their senior year, familiar green eyes, and that same smattering of freckles across her nose. She was wearing a thick sweater with a large bag slung over her shoulder, and hanging by her side, she was holding—
Eddie’s eyes widened, jaw going slack.
“We need to talk.” Shannon stepped past him into the dorm, leaving him to stare at the place where she had just been standing.
“Eddie?”
Eddie swallowed hard, breaking from his daze, and turned to meet her, shutting the door behind him.
She sighed, lips twisted into an uncomfortable frown. “I’m sure you’ve realized why I’m here.” Eddie’s mouth opened and closed around words he couldn’t quite find. “Eddie,” she stressed his name, giving him a pointed look.
“That’s a baby,” he stared at the baby carrier in her hand, holding a small, sleeping baby, bundled in a little yellow blanket.
“Yeah.” Shannon nodded. “It’s a baby. It’s your baby.”
The words hit Eddie like a punch square to his chest.
“B-But— We only slept together one time.”
“Yeah, that’s sort of all it takes." She pursed her lips.
“I don’t understand.” Eddie shook his head, eyes glued to the baby.
Shannon sighed again.
“Let me make it clear for you.” She set the baby carrier down and unzipped the bag over her shoulder, pulling out a manila folder and holding it out toward Eddie. He grabbed it from her, but didn’t open it. “I had him two weeks ago. But, Eddie, I—“ she shrugged desperately, gesturing vaguely with her hands. “I don’t know if I want to be a mom— I don’t think I do. And I definitely don’t want to be one right now.” Eddie’s breathing sped up, eyes going back to the baby in the carrier at her feet. "All the paperwork you need is in there,” she nodded to the folder in his hand. “Including custody release forms. I know you’re a good guy, Eddie, and you deserve the chance to make this decision for yourself— whether you want to keep him or not.”
Him.
He was a boy.
Eddie had a son.
Oh, God. Eddie was going to pass out.
“There are some essentials in this bag to get you started.” She set the bag down on the counter beside her, though her words weren’t registering in Eddie’s head. He was too caught up in the fact that he had a son. “Just, whatever you do, don’t try to contact me. Please.” Shannon began heading for the door, leaving behind the bag, and the folder, and the baby carrier, and the baby.
Eddie remained standing in place, staring at the sleeping baby as Shannon walked past him. Though the sound of the doorknob turning pulled him out of his shock, just enough to spin around and ask her one last question.
“Wait,” he called, stopping her just as she had gotten the door open. She didn’t respond, just stood silently, looking at him. “What’s his name?” he asked, barely above a whisper.
“He doesn’t have one yet. It felt wrong for me to give him one, knowing I wasn’t keeping him.” She nodded to the manila envelope again. “It’s all in there.” Eddie tightened his grip on the envelope, feeling it crinkle slightly in his grasp.
“Goodbye, Eddie.” Shannon gave him one last, long look before opening the door the rest of the way and stepping out, closing it behind her. He turned around with robotic movements, staring wide-eyed at the baby— his baby, sleeping in a carrier in the middle of his dorm room.
Just then, the baby woke up, his face immediately screwing up as he began to wail.
“Oh, God.”
—
Buck heaved a sigh as he headed down the hall toward his dorm, bracing himself for whatever was awaiting him inside.
Probably Eddie— the most annoying roommate anyone has ever had. Most certainly random clutter covering nearly every surface, and a sink full of dirty dishes, despite Buck’s many attempts to get Eddie to clean up after himself. Definitely, the thermostat turned down to a ridiculously freezing temperature.
Buck supposed that last one was partly his fault. He had turned the thermostat up to 74°F before he left, just to spite Eddie, and there was no way he wouldn’t retaliate. But, to be fair, Eddie brought that on himself. He had dropped it down to near-arctic levels the night before.
That was still grating on Buck’s nerves.
Eddie was just so impossibly frustrating.
Buck had been excited when they first met. Eddie was friendly, radiating a soft and comfortable vibe that immediately drew Buck in. Fluffy brown hair, skin glowing with a golden tan, and warm brown eyes. And his smile. His canine teeth pointed out when he smiled, a trait that Buck had found incredibly endearing.
Then they actually spent time together, and Buck realized how arrogant he was.
He was incredibly stuck-up, always acting like he was too good to hang out or party like most college students, obsessing over his schoolwork like he just had to be the best in his classes, rolling his eyes and huffing whenever Buck wanted to do anything fun. Not to mention, he never cleaned up after himself. Buck understood that he was busy, but the constant mess in the dorm drove him out of his mind. Dirty dishes, clothes left out everywhere, and leftovers sitting in the fridge for far too long.
Buck was raised in a meticulously clean house, and as much as he grumbled about chores as a kid, he’d come to appreciate the peace that came with living in a clean environment— though some of that habit might be attributed to how often his parents made him feel like he needed to make himself smaller, to leave no evidence that he existed.
And somehow, the most frustrating of all, the thermostat. The dorm’s temperature had become a constant battle between the two, and Buck wasn’t about to accept living in an igloo just because Eddie was allergic to buying a fan.
Basically, Eddie was a horrible roommate. The resident office denied both of their requests for a roommate switch, telling them they would see what they could do at the end of the semester.
Just a couple more weeks, Buck told himself. Just a couple more weeks.
He slowed in his step as he approached his door at the farthest end of the hall.
Was that—
Was there a baby crying in his dorm?
With a furrowed brow, Buck pushed the door open and stepped inside, eyes widening and jaw dropping at the scene that awaited him. Eddie was standing in the middle of the dorm with wild eyes, looking panic-stricken, clutching a crying, swaddled baby to his chest. For a long moment, Buck just blinked at him, trying to process what he was seeing.
“You’re holding a baby,” he eventually blurted out.
Eddie nodded, bouncing the small, red-faced baby. “Yeah,” he replied, sounding as panicked as he looked.
“Is this a prank?” Buck asked, brows knitted together in confusion.
If Eddie’s eyes could open wider, they did.
“How would this be a prank?” Eddie asked incredulously, still hurriedly bouncing the wailing baby.
“I don’t know,” Buck replied defensively. “Why do you have a baby?”
Eddie’s expression turned desperate, almost fearful, and the words came spilling out, broken up between anxious gasps for air.
“My ex-girlfriend came by, and she brought him. She said she doesn’t want him, and she doesn’t know if I want him, but she left him with me. She— I— Baby. I have a baby.” His voice began wobbling by the end of his ramble, eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
“Okay, okay,” Buck soothed, lifting his hands in a calm-down gesture. “Breathe, okay?”
Eddie nodded, sucking in a deep breath.
Aside from the obvious craziness of Eddie suddenly having a baby dropped on him, Buck couldn’t help but think about how odd it was to see the ordinarily prickly Eddie so vulnerable, and how odd it was to be comforting him.
“I can’t get him to stop crying,” Eddie sounded so small, so clueless in that moment. For the first time, Buck felt bad for him.
He spotted a large, unfamiliar bag sitting on their counter and headed for it.
“This come with him?” Buck asked, gesturing toward it.
Eddie nodded.
Buck began rifling through the bag, finding a variety of baby items inside. Diapers, bottles, formula, some baby clothes, pacifiers…
He grabbed one of the pacifiers and quickly brought it to the little guy, offering it to him. At first, he seemed disinterested, but he latched onto it after a bit of persistence from Buck, his loud cries immediately winding down to quiet sniffles. Buck grinned as Eddie gasped, pulling the baby even closer to his chest in a hold that was both protective and gentle, fear and relief written across his face.
“I swear, I’m usually good with babies.” Eddie stared at Buck with wide eyes, voice almost pleading, like he was begging Buck to believe him. “I swear.”
“Okay,” Buck replied earnestly, nodding. “I believe you.”
“I just— What if he hates me?”
Buck’s brows drew together. “Eddie, he doesn’t hate you. He was born, like, yesterday, he doesn’t even know what hate is.” Buck looked fondly at the small baby in Eddie’s arms, taking in his tiny little hands and chubby cheeks.
Most people didn’t know this about Buck, but he loved kids. They were so cute, funny in their own particular way, and entirely innocent. He was certain that in another universe, he was going to school to be a teacher or some other job where he got to work with kids. He was sure he would've been good at it.
“Two weeks ago.”
“What?” Buck looked back at Eddie.
“She said he was born two weeks ago,” Eddie elaborated mindlessly.
“Wow,” Buck’s gaze drifted back to the baby. “Two weeks.” He was so small. He’d seen so little of the world, had so few experiences. His biggest grievances were being hungry or needing a nap. Buck leaned in closer, stroking a finger over the back of one of his tiny hands. “You’re brand new, huh?”
“I-I don’t… I don’t know what to do,” Eddie mumbled, sounding painfully lost.
“Maybe you should call your parents,” Buck suggested, but Eddie quickly shook his head.
“No. No, I can’t tell my parents about him. They would try to pressure me into marrying Shannon, and she doesn’t want to be involved. A-And I don’t want to marry her. And then what? They— They try convincing me to give him up? No way. I won’t do it.”
Eddie’s immediate insistence that he wouldn’t give up his kid, despite his fear, seeped through Buck’s chest, winding its way around his heart and tugging on taut old strings he didn’t like to think about. That ugly thing that lived behind his ribs began to poke and prod at his perpetually unhealed wounds, just enough to remind him that they still existed.
The steel in Eddie's eyes when he said it, the protective way he was holding the baby, the already palpable love he clearly felt for his child— every kid should have that. Every kid should be that loved, that wanted.
Buck wouldn't admit it, but he thought it was beautiful.
Bittersweet.
On his mental scoreboard of reasons Eddie is the worst vs. reasons Eddie isn’t so bad, Buck could finally dust off the empty latter category and mark down a point.
“Okay,” Buck nodded. “So just keep him here.”
Eddie blinked at him, looking sort of like he’d just watched him grow a second head.
“What? I can’t keep a baby in our dorm, it’s against the rules—"
“S-So we’ll hide him! No one ever comes this far down the hall, and the RA hasn’t done a single room inspection so far this year. We could pull it off.”
“You’re insane.” Eddie shook his head at Buck before looking down at the baby in his arms.
Buck was about to shrug, about to tell Eddie he didn’t know how to help him, when—
“Okay,” Eddie nodded.
“Okay?”
Eddie glanced at him nervously, nodding again, seeming to almost already regret what he was saying. “Okay, we’ll keep him here. In the dorm.”
Buck’s brows shot up in surprise, his gaze traveling back to the small baby with a soft grin.
“Alright, then. Welcome to the dorm, roomie.”