Archive of Our Own

Naruto stares at the ceiling, eyes half-open, trying not to think about how many hours are left until morning. Time feels warped, like he’s suspended between seconds, caught in the invisible net between one breath and the next. 

He should have been asleep for hours. He's tired, and the moon is a thin sliver of silver out in the night. But something keeps him awake, a prickle under his skin, like an itch he can't quite scratch.

Earlier today, he'd felt something, for just a second, a presence like a shadow passing in front of the sun. He hasn’t felt it in months. Thought he’d imagined it the first few times. Thought he’d buried that hope somewhere deep, where it couldn't reach him anymore. But hope has teeth, and tonight, it’s chewing holes in the walls he built.

It had the same weight. The same edge. The kind of presence that leaves a fingerprint on the world even after it’s gone.

Naruto opens his eyes. Looks at the clock.

It's 1:38 AM.

He sighs, sitting up, and runs a hand through his hair. This isn't working. He won't sleep tonight, he might as well give up.

His thoughts keep looping, catching on the same snag again and again. There is a very easy was he could confirm his suspicions, but he's not sure he wants to do that. He's not sure he can deal with the disappointment if he's wrong.

The prickle is back.

Fuck it.

He slows his breathing, focusing on entering Sage mode, and when he opens his eyes again, the world is brighter, the night sky a tapestry of light, the moonlight so bright he can see each individual blade of grass in the park across the street.

He can feel his friends' chakra signatures in their apartments. Sakura, asleep in bed, and Ino, reading, both alone. Kiba, out cold with Akamaru. Sai, also asleep. Kakashi, wide awake. Yamato, on guard duty.

Shikamaru is with Temari – now that's interesting. He wonders what that's about.

Naruto takes a deep breath. He reaches out, further than he has before, trying to extend his senses beyond the village walls.

And then he finds it.

That spark. A flicker of lightning in a cloudless sky. A ripple in a lake.

His heart leaps, and his pulse starts racing.

There. Just barely out of reach, just outside of Konoha.

He's there.

Naruto's moving before he realizes what he's doing, heading for the nearest exit, his feet taking him where his brain is still too stunned to process.

He's not sure how he manages not to wake anyone as he moves through the village. It's a miracle, the fact that not a single ninja on guard duty even sees him pass, but he doesn't question it. His mind is blank, his entire focus on that spark, that ripple, like a beacon calling him home.

He's there. Sasuke is there.

The forest outside the village is dark, the only light from the crescent moon above, and he barely registers his surroundings as he speeds past, a blur in the trees, his feet barely touching the ground.

Sasuke is here. Sasuke is here. Sasuke is finally back.

Naruto has been waiting for this day for over a year. He has never given up hope, has always believed, with all his heart, that Sasuke will return, and now that the moment is here, he is terrified that this is just a dream.

But the presence is getting stronger, more and more distinct, and he feels it, feels Sasuke, the closer he gets.

And then, he breaks through the treeline and stops dead.

It's a clearing. A small meadow, filled with flowers, bathed in moonlight. The tall grass whispers in the breeze, the leaves on the trees rustling, and a single firefly blinks slowly in the air.

And standing at the center of the clearing, a silhouette against the full moon, his hair like midnight, his cloak billowing in the wind, is Sasuke.

He is looking away, towards the forest, and he turns at the sound of the leaves crunching under Naruto's feet, and their eyes meet, and Naruto forgets how to breathe.

It's him.

And Naruto forgets what breathing feels like.

He sways on the edge of a thousand memories. Half of him wants to laugh, the other wants to scream. None of this feels real. And yet it’s the most real thing he’s felt in months.

For a moment, they just stand there, frozen in place, staring at each other.

"You're back," Naruto says, finally breaking the silence, and Sasuke looks at him, and there is something strange in his eyes, something different, an intensity to his gaze that makes Naruto's heart beat a little faster.

"I'm not staying."

"I didn't think you were."

A pause. Long enough to drown in.

Naruto takes a step forward. Every part of him aches with the effort of not running the rest of the way.

"Were you even planning on saying hi?" he asks, and Sasuke's expression flickers, a slight tightening around his eyes, a frown that comes and goes in a fraction of a second.

"No," he admits.

"Why not?"

Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, the strange intensity is back.

"I didn't think you would want to see me," he says.

Naruto shakes his head. "Don't be an idiot."

"I’m not an idiot, idiot." 

The words are automatic. A script worn into their bones. But something flickers behind it. A twitch at the corner of his mouth that never quite becomes a smile.

"Why would I not want to see you?" Naruto asks, taking a step towards him.

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Why would you?"

"Because you're my best friend, you dick!"

Something flashes across Sasuke's face, and then he shakes his head, letting out a sharp breath. "Is that so."

"You know it is."

Sasuke just stares at him.

"Why didn't you say hi?"

"Sakura's been talking about how you and Hinata are getting close," Sasuke replies, ignoring the question. "I thought I should leave you to it."

Huh?

Naruto stares at him. Sasuke's face is carefully neutral. He is looking at Naruto with an indifferent expression. But the intensity in his eyes has not faded.

"So you've been talking to Sakura but not me?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Two can play this game.

"She writes. Occasionally."

"I did too, but you never wrote back."

"I never write her back, either," Sasuke says, and now there is definitely something strange going on, because his voice sounds weird, slightly strangled, and his eyes are burning, like a flame in the night.

Naruto doesn't understand. Why is Sasuke being so difficult? He was expecting him to be aloof and maybe a bit awkward, but this is just... weird.

"She didn't tell me you were coming."

"I didn't tell her."

God, why is this so hard?

"What's your problem, Sasuke?" he asks, throwing his hands up in the air, letting out a huff of frustration. "Why are you acting so weird? Are you mad at me or something?"

Sasuke glares at him.

"Do you want me to be mad at you?"

Naruto sighs, running a hand through his hair. He should have stayed in bed.

"No. Of course not."

Sasuke doesn't say anything.

"Can you stop glaring at me?"

"Stop yelling at me."

"I'm not – ugh! Whatever. Fine. Have it your way. If you want to act like a total asshole, go right ahead."

Naruto is getting angrier by the second, and Sasuke's eyes are still burning, his gaze like a laser, and something is definitely going on here, some sort of standoff, but he has no idea what Sasuke is getting at.

"So," Sasuke says, his tone sharp and clipped. "Are you and Hinata a thing, or not?"

What?

"What?"

"You and Hinata. You're dating?"

What the hell?

"Why do you care?"

Sasuke's eyes flash.

"Just answer the question, idiot."

"No, we're not dating!" Naruto snaps, feeling like his brain is melting. "What's your problem?"

"So, are you sleeping together, then?"

"Why the fuck would you ask that?!"

"Well, if you're not a couple, but you're fucking, then you're basically –"

"We're not sleeping together, we're not a couple, and if you don't stop asking stupid questions, I swear to God, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

This is straight-up insanity. What the hell is Sasuke's problem? Why is he asking him all these dumb questions, why is he staring at him like that?

As if it weren't hard enough, just seeing Sasuke after all this time. As if his presence weren't already messing with Naruto's head. He'd been working so hard to push his feelings down, to convince himself that they didn't mean anything, that he was over it, and now, after so long, all his efforts are in vain. Because just one look at Sasuke's face is all it took to bring them back, his feelings, crashing over him like a tidal wave, overwhelming, impossible to ignore.

And, hearing him talk so... crudely, it's driving him mad. Sasuke has always been a bit of a prude, and even though he's gotten less uptight over the years, Naruto never thought he'd be the kind of person to ask something like this.

The clearing is silent again. But it’s not peaceful. It’s tense, like the air is waiting for lightning.

And Naruto realizes it then. This isn’t about Hinata. It never was.

This is a fight. Not with fists, but with implication. It’s Sasuke saying things he doesn’t want to say directly. It’s his eyes burning like they want to set something on fire but don't know how.

Naruto feels it, all of it, pulling at the roots of everything he’s been trying to bury.

And Sasuke... Sasuke is asking the wrong questions for all the right reasons.

Naruto takes a breath. His hands curl into fists at his sides.

"I missed you," he blurts out.

Sasuke blinks, his gaze faltering, the mask of anger falling.

"I didn't," he says, but his voice is flat, unconvincing.

"Liar."

Sasuke’s eyes flash, just a flicker of old fury, the instinctive kind. But then, something eases in his shoulders. His mouth twitches. His voice drops lower.

"Usuratonkatchi."

Naruto’s stomach flips. It’s stupid. It’s a name he’s heard a thousand times, a jab, an insult. But right now, it feels like a gift.

"Asshole," he breathes, grinning before he even realizes it.

They fall into silence. Sasuke looks away, out toward the dark forest, his profile lit by moonlight. Sharp edges softened by silver light.

He’s really here.

Naruto is having trouble wrapping his mind around it. All these months, he has kept believing, despite everything, against all reason, that Sasuke would come back, and now, here he is, standing in front of him.

"You got taller," he says, and Sasuke glances at him.

"You haven't."

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck off."

And there it is again, that flicker of amusement, the tug of Sasuke’s mouth.

Naruto's heart stumbles. It's like remembering how to breathe again after being underwater too long.

"Asshole," Naruto mutters, but it doesn’t have teeth. He’s smiling. He can’t stop. It feels like his ribs might crack from how tightly his heart is pushing against them.

He’s back. He’s actually back.

And Naruto has never felt more relieved. Or more doomed.

But there's no use worrying about that now. Right now, all that matters is that Sasuke is back, and Naruto doesn't have to worry anymore. He can stop wondering. Can stop thinking about him. Stop looking at the sky and wondering where he is.

"I'm not staying," Sasuke repeats.

Naruto shrugs.

"Yeah, well. Maybe I won't let you leave."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Are you threatening me, usuratonkachi?"

Naruto bites down on the laugh that wants to rise. The way Sasuke says it – it’s ridiculous how much he missed this , the stupid insults, the bickering, the rhythm of it. Them .

"Maybe I am."

Sasuke smirks, slow and infuriating. It hits Naruto like a punch to the gut.

"If you were strong enough to force me to stay, I wouldn't have been able to leave in the first place."

"Fuck off."

"Make me."

There’s something in Sasuke’s voice. Something sharper than teasing. His eyes glint with challenge, or maybe even anticipation.

Naruto’s breath catches. His whole body feels like it’s leaning forward, waiting.

"Oh, I will," he promises.

This is different.

There is a shift in the air. The world seems to tilt on its axis.

"Try me," Sasuke says, and it’s not just a dare.

It’s an invitation.

They lock eyes. The moon is cold above them, the forest hushed. Fireflies blink lazily around them, their light delicate and strange.

Naruto is so gone for him.

He always has been. Even when he didn’t have a name for it. Even when it just felt like gravity, like inevitability. Sasuke has always been the thing he couldn’t let go of. And now, standing here with the night pressing in and Sasuke looking at him like that—

He wants him. Desperately.

"Don't tempt me," Naruto warns.

"Or what?"

Naruto takes a breath. The forest smells like pine and moss, but all he can focus on is the way Sasuke’s eyes catch the moonlight. The way he’s standing, still, but not distant. Like he’s waiting.

Naruto takes a step forward.

"I'll take you on," he says, and he's not sure he means the challenge or the dare.

Sasuke watches him, dark eyes unreadable. But his breath has hitched. His body is coiled, tense, like he’s about to move, but doesn’t.

He’s beautiful.

"Do your worst," Sasuke whispers.

Naruto’s pulse stutters. His skin is on fire. The tension between them is molten now, pressing against his lungs, heavy in the space where their words used to be.

The moonlight is cold, the wind whispering through the trees.

The tension between them is so thick, so hot, he feels like he's suffocating.

He steps closer.

They're standing only a few feet apart, the distance between them shrinking with every passing second, every heartbeat, and Sasuke is still watching him, his eyes wide, his mouth open, and his cheeks are flushed, and Naruto is going to lose his mind.

This is not the reunion he expected. Not the reunion he dreamed of.

But there is something in Sasuke's eyes. A spark. A flame.

He's not imagining it.

Sasuke's hand reaches out, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. His other hand comes up, fingers curling around the back of Naruto's neck.

"Idiot," he hisses, and pulls him in.

The world snaps out of alignment.

The second their lips touch, electricity sparks through his body and for a second he thinks Sasuke might have hit him with his Chidori.

But it's not lightning. It's Sasuke.

Naruto makes a desperate sound. Sasuke's grip on his shirt tightens.

It’s a kiss, yeah.

But it’s also a war cry and a surrender and a homecoming.

Years and years of aching. A lifetime of silence and wanting. All of it crashing into this one impossible moment.

The stars feel too close. The earth too far away.

The world tilts again, the stars shift in their courses, and it's as if the entire universe is rearranging itself around them, the ground beneath their feet shaking and shifting.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

Naruto pushes against him, pressing him against the nearest tree. Sasuke's back hits the trunk with a thud, his breath catching, and he kisses him harder, his hands coming up to grab the collar of his shirt.

Sasuke's hair feels like silk between his fingers. He tastes like the earth after rain. His mouth is hot, his teeth sharp.

His tongue is in Naruto's mouth, and the entire universe is aflame, and Naruto has never wanted anything more in his life.

This is everything.

"Idiot," Sasuke pants when they break apart, lips red, hair messy, eyes wide and dazed.

Naruto stares at him, half in awe, half in disbelief.

"Fuck you," he says, and dives back in.

Sasuke laughs – laughs – into his mouth, breath hitching. "Took you long enough."

The world splits open.

Sasuke is back. Really, truly back.

Naruto presses his forehead to his, eyes closed.

"God, you're such a bastard," Naruto mutters, pushing him against the tree again, and Sasuke's laugh is the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. "Asking about Hinata like that. Are you insane?"

"Shut up," Sasuke growls, kissing him, his teeth tugging at his lower lip.

"You could have just said hi, you know. Like a normal person."

"I'm not a normal person," Sasuke points out, his mouth moving to his jaw, his throat.

Naruto gasps, his pulse racing.

"You could have been a little bit less of an asshole," he says, trying not to moan when Sasuke starts sucking on his neck.

"I could have," Sasuke agrees, his lips trailing down his collarbone, his hand pushing under his shirt. "But you love it when I'm an asshole."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"Fuck you," Naruto growls, his body humming, his nerves on fire, his blood boiling.

"Or maybe, I'll fuck you," Sasuke whispers, his voice low, and Naruto almost blacks out.

"Oh no," he says, his voice strangled, his brain short-circuiting. "That's not happening."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. His face is so close, his mouth only inches away, his eyes so dark, his hair like midnight.

"You sure about that, usuratonkachi?"

Sasuke flips them, slamming him into the tree. Now he's looking down at him, and his eyes are filled with stars, and Naruto is gone.

"Maybe not," he admits, and then Sasuke is kissing him, and the universe explodes.

Naruto's never kissed anyone before. Not like this. Hell, the only person he’s ever had any sort of kissing experience, was Sasuke himself. But kissing Sasuke, really kissing him, is unlike anything he could have imagined.

"Is this real?" he whispers.

Sasuke pulls back, just a fraction, his eyes searching.

"Are you asking if I want this?"

"I – yes," Naruto admits.

Sasuke sighs.

"Do I want you?" he asks, his voice rough. "Idiot. What kind of question is that?"

Naruto's mouth goes dry.

"You could have fooled me," he says, and Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"I have wanted you for years, moron."

Naruto stares.

"Years?"

"Years," Sasuke confirms.

Naruto's knees are weak. He's not sure how he's still standing.

"I thought you wanted to kill me for the longest time."

"That too," Sasuke agrees, and Naruto has to bite back a grin.

"I think you have serious issues," he points out, and Sasuke narrows his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Make me," Naruto challenges, and then Sasuke's mouth is on his, his tongue in his mouth, and his body is pressed against him, and his fingers are tangled in his hair, and Naruto's vision goes white.

Sasuke's thigh slips between his legs.

Naruto whimpers.

"What about you?" Sasuke asks, his lips ghosting over his ear, his hands pushing under his shirt.

"Me?" Naruto chokes out.

"Did you want me?"

"I – yes."

"For how long?"

It's Naruto's turn to sigh.

"Do you really need to ask that? I've been chasing after you my entire life, bastard."

"And now that you've caught me?"

"Now, I really wanna make you regret leaving."

Sasuke lets out a breathy laugh.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You can try," he says, his smile wicked.

"Oh, I will," Naruto vows, his heart hammering in his chest.

Sasuke's knee moves, his thigh pushing against his crotch, and the sound that comes out of Naruto's mouth is downright embarrassing.

"Oh?"

"Fuck you," he chokes out, his breath hitching when Sasuke's leg starts moving.

"Mmm," Sasuke hums, hands sliding lower, fingers hooking into the waistband of his pants.

He tugs at the fabric, and Naruto’s head spins.

"You – ah – you sure you wanna do that?" he asks, and his voice is strained and hoarse, and the look in Sasuke's eyes is going to kill him.

"Do you not want me to?"

"I never said that."

"So, you want me to fuck you," Sasuke whispers, his breath hot on his neck.

"I still think you're the one who's gonna end up getting fucked," he manages. "At the very least we gotta switch places."

"Oh, we will," Sasuke breathes, hand sliding down, fingers tracing the outline of Naruto’s erection. Naruto’s whole body jerks.

"Fuck," he groans.

"You like that?"

"No," he lies.

Sasuke grins.

"Liar," he whispers, palming his crotch.

"I hate you."

"No, you don’t."

"I really, really do," Naruto insists, but it’s weak, and they both know it.

Sasuke squeezes his dick, and Naruto sees stars. Then he’s turned around, pressed face-first against the tree. Sasuke’s hands grab his hips, pulling him back, and Naruto can feel the hard pressure against his ass. This is definitely happening.

Now, Naruto isn’t exactly against taking it up the ass. It’s not his go-to move, and he’d usually rather be the one doing the fucking, but he’s not closed-minded. And Sasuke has him so wound up, so desperate, he’d probably agree to just about anything.

"Wait, wait. Hold on a sec," he pants.

Sasuke pulls back, letting go of his waist.

"What is it?"

Naruto turns slightly, forehead resting against the tree, eyes closed.

"Look I'm not an expert or anything," he says, "but, uh, don't you need some sort of... lube? Or something?"

He hears Sasuke let out a sigh.

"I have an idea."

Naruto doesn't even want to think about the implication of those words.

"Just don't use any weird jutsus on me."

"I won't," Sasuke promises.

"What are you going to – ah!"

His question is answered, when his pants are being pulled down, his bare ass exposed to the night air.

"Sasuke?"

"Just trust me," Sasuke says, his breath hot against his skin, and Naruto can't hold back a moan when his tongue presses against his entrance.

"Holy fuck," he breathes, his eyes falling shut, his nails digging into the bark.

Sasuke's tongue moves, his hands spreading his ass, and this is not what he was expecting, but it's better, so much better, than any alternative.

Naruto's knees almost buckle. Sasuke is pushing his tongue into his ass, his saliva dripping down, and Naruto is a panting mess, his body burning, his skin on fire.

"Sasuke," he groans, and the bastard has the audacity to chuckle, his breath tickling him, his lips teasing, and then his mouth is gone, his tongue replaced by a finger.

"Oh," Naruto gasps, his spine melting, his bones turning to mush.

He is definitely okay with this. More than okay, really.

Sasuke's finger slips deeper inside him, and Naruto lets out a desperate whine.

"Fuck, that feels good."

Sasuke hums, his mouth pressing back against his ass, his tongue licking alongside his finger, and Naruto is going to die.

Well. This is definitely a better way to go than in a fight.

He can feel himself opening up, can feel Sasuke's tongue and his finger, working together, and it feels so good, his toes curling, his body trembling.

Sasuke slips a second finger in, and Naruto bites back a sob.

"Shit," he chokes out.

This is so hot.

"Doing okay there?" Sasuke asks, his voice husky, and Naruto would roll his eyes if he had the energy.

"Just peachy," he mutters. "Keep going."

Sasuke obeys.

By the time he's worked him open enough, Naruto is shaking, his muscles clenching, his dick aching, and his whole body is covered in sweat, the night air cool against his feverish skin.

"You're doing great," Sasuke murmurs, his voice gentle, his fingers still moving.

"Can we – ah – get on with it already?"

"Not yet," Sasuke whispers, his lips trailing up his spine, his breath hot against the back of his neck.

"Oh God," Naruto moans. "Sasuke, I swear to God, if you don't hurry up, I'm gonna – ah – I'm gonna fuck you myself."

" Patience, usuratonkachi."

He curls his fingers, and Naruto whimpers.

"Asshole," he pants. "God, that feels so good."

He is rubbing a spot inside him that sends electricity shooting through his veins, his body convulsing.

"Fuck," he chokes out. "What is that? What are you doing to me? I told you not to – ah! – not to use any jutsus."

Sasuke chuckles.

"This isn't a jutsu," he murmurs. "It's a special spot. Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Feels amazing," Naruto confesses.

Sasuke's fingers hit his prostate again, and a violent shudder runs through his body.

"Don't tell me you never tried this yourself," Sasuke says.

"Of course, I haven't," he hisses.

"You should. Feels pretty damn good."

Naruto's mind is suddenly flooded with images of Sasuke, in a dark room, fingers slipping into his own ass, hitting his prostate, and Naruto's vision goes black.

"Oh, fuck, you're doing this to yourself?"

"Sure am," Sasuke purrs.

"Fuck, that's so hot."

"You like that?"

"Yes," Naruto whispers, his cheeks flushed, his blood boiling. "Wanna do it to you. Wanna watch you."

"Mmm," Sasuke hums, and the vibration goes right through him. "Later."

"Okay," he pants. "Yeah. Later. Okay."

He can barely stand. His entire body is shaking.

Sasuke's hand curls around his hip.

"Ready?"

"Been ready for years, bastard," Naruto manages.

"Good."

He slips his fingers out, and Naruto has to bite his lip to stop himself from whining.

There's the sound of fabric rustling, the soft thud of clothes hitting the ground. He risks a glance back, and his heart stops.

"Whoa, hey, hold on," he blurts out. "You want to put that thing in me?"

Naruto is not an expert, but the Uchiha family jewels do not look small.

Sasuke smirks.

"You say that as if you're any smaller."

Naruto looks down.

Okay, maybe not.

"We need lube," he says. "Like actual, proper lube."

"We're in the middle of the forest, usuratonkachi. Just relax, I've got you."

Before he can ask what that means, Sasuke squats down behind him. A moment later, something warm and wet slides down his ass, and Naruto tenses.

"Did you just spit on my–"

"I did."

"That's disgusting."

"Deal with it," Sasuke growls.

He stands back up, spreading some more spit onto his dick, and Naruto gulps.

"This isn't gonna work."

"Sure it is," Sasuke says, lining his dick up.

"Oh God, you're actually gonna–"

He breaks off, when the tip presses against his hole.

"You ready?"

"Yes, dammit."

He's sure as hell not gonna back down now. Not after coming this far.

He's wanted this for so long.

"Hold still," Sasuke says, and the head starts to push in.

Naruto sucks in a breath.

"Holy fuck."

It's a weird feeling. Uncomfortable, at first.

"Relax," Sasuke says. "Take deep breaths."

He leans in, chest pressed to Naruto’s back, chin on his shoulder, breath warm and steady against his ear. The weight of him, the heat of his skin, it helps, grounding him. Reminds Naruto that it’s him . That this is Sasuke.

Not a dream. Not some weird fantasy he’s going to wake up from in a cold sweat.

"Okay," he says shakily. He tries to breathe, deep and slow, even though his heart is thundering in his chest.

Sasuke's hand curls around his dick, and Naruto gasps, the pleasure distracting him just enough to keep him from tensing up.

"Keep breathing," Sasuke says, his voice gentler now, as if he actually cares whether this hurts. Maybe he does.

"Fuck, Sasuke," Naruto breathes, almost laughing at how ridiculous it is that this is happening. In a forest. Against a tree. Of course it’s like this. Of course it’s them .

"Yeah, that's right," Sasuke murmurs.

"This is insane," he whispers.

"Tell me about it," Sasuke replies, mouth against his neck now, tongue tracing along his skin. Naruto shivers, a full-body reaction he doesn’t bother trying to hide.

Sasuke slides in deeper, slow and careful, but it still makes Naruto clench his teeth. He grips a low branch, focusing on the rough bark beneath his fingers.

"How much more is there?" Naruto gasps.

"About halfway," Sasuke admits.

"Oh, for the love of–"

"Don't be a baby."

Naruto grits his teeth. It hurts, but he’s Naruto Uzumaki. He’s been through worse. He’s fought worse.

He pushes back, taking all of Sasuke in one go, and for a second, the world narrows to a single bright, burning point.

They both gasp.

"Fuck," Sasuke groans.

Naruto doesn't say anything, just leans his head back, his eyes closed, and tries not to scream.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," Naruto grits out.

"Idiot," Sasuke scoffs.

"Asshole."

They stay like that, pressed together, breaths tangled, muscles trembling. And in that pause, Naruto feels it, him , in a way he didn’t expect. Not just the physical sensation. But the fact that it’s Sasuke inside him. That he trusted him enough to let this happen.

"This feels weird," Naruto says.

"Bad weird or good weird?"

"Good weird," he decides.

"Can I move?"

"You better."

Sasuke rolls his hips, and the sound Naruto makes isn’t even human. He grabs at the tree for support, vision swimming.

"Oh, holy fuck." 

Then Sasuke pulls back and thrusts in again, and it’s even better, like every nerve ending is wired directly to the place they’re connected.

"You okay?"

"Don't fucking ask me that," he pants. "If I tell you to stop, you're gonna know."

"Fine."

Sasuke rolls his hips again, and then starts moving, his movements slow and controlled, his breath coming out in short puffs.

Naruto bites back a moan.

"Harder," he begs. "Faster. Come on. Are you a fucking coward?"

"Shut up," Sasuke grunts, and he does go harder. 

Naruto’s knees buckle. He grabs the tree again, bark biting into his palms, but he doesn’t care. He’s dizzy with it, his body burning, every breath ragged.

"Holy shit," he moans. "Keep going. Fuck."

He can feel himself adjusting, can feel his muscles relaxing, his body opening up. The pain is almost gone, and now he's starting to feel it, really feel it, the way Sasuke's dick is filling him, the way his hands are digging into his hips, his hot breath on his neck.

The pleasure is like nothing he's ever experienced. It's better than training. It's better than ramen. It's better than winning a fight.

"Oh my God," he groans.

"Yeah," Sasuke mutters. "Yeah."

"Harder," he demands, his voice rough.

"Don't test me."

"I'll test you however the fuck I want," he snaps, pushing back into him with a sharp roll of his hips. The noise Sasuke makes is somewhere between a grunt and a growl, and Naruto smirks.

He wants to hear that noise again.

He pushes back again. And again. Until Sasuke loses the rhythm, grabs him harder, starts pounding into him like he means it.

"Fuck, Naruto," Sasuke groans, his fingernails scratching against his skin.

"Don't hold back," he orders. "Come on."

"You asked for it." 

And then Sasuke’s hands are on his waist again, pulling him back roughly, fucking into him with force, and Naruto’s forehead hits the tree, and all he can do is feel .

Heat. Pressure. Pleasure.

Sasuke.

It’s happening all at once.

And Naruto doesn’t want it to stop.

"Fuck! Sasuke!"

"Too much?" Sasuke pants, not slowing down.

It is too much. His whole body is trembling. Every nerve feels stretched thin, exposed. But Naruto isn’t going to admit that. Not to Sasuke. Not when he’s waited years for this. Not when it finally feels like he’s getting somewhere .

"Not even close," he growls, forcing himself to push back, to match the rhythm. His vision is blurring, and his heartbeat is thundering in his ears.

"Good."

Sasuke drives into him again, and Naruto’s forehead knocks lightly against the tree. His own dick is bouncing with every thrust, brushing against rough bark and his stomach, and he honestly doesn’t know how much more he can take.

Then the bastard reaches down, wrapping a hand around his erection. Tears prickle Naruto's eyes.

"Are you crying?"

"Fuck you."

"Already am," Sasuke reminds him.

Naruto laughs, but it breaks halfway, twisting into something raw. "I’ll kill you," he mutters, voice tight and shaking, even as a sob punches out of him.

"Is that so?"

Sasuke keeps moving, his hips, his hand, and it’s relentless, overwhelming. It’s everything Naruto’s ever wanted and more than he knows how to handle. His body is on fire. His mind is splintering.

He’s not going to make it. He isn’t going to make it.

"I'm so close," he whimpers.

"Come for me, Naruto," Sasuke growls.

"You too," Naruto says.

He has no idea what he’s doing, but he needs Sasuke to come. It’s something primal and desperate, the kind of thing that’s less about the body and more about this , about them , about proving something that words have never managed to say right.

So he clenches around him, tightens every muscle he can, and Sasuke’s rhythm falters.

There. There . That’s it.

He does it again, and Sasuke makes a sound low in his throat, something he probably wouldn’t make under any other circumstance.

Then Sasuke’s grip tightens and he thrusts hard, driving Naruto into the tree. His face presses against the bark, his dick crushed between his body and the trunk, and Sasuke is coming inside him, with a shudder and a groan that sends chills racing down Naruto’s spine.

And that’s all it takes.

Naruto’s orgasm slams into him, full-body and brutal. He locks up, his muscles pulling tight around Sasuke as his own cum spills between them, his breath breaking into frantic gasps.

"Shit," Sasuke groans, his chest pressed against his back, his breath coming out in short puffs. "So fucking tight."

Naruto can feel his cum dripping down his thighs. He feels sticky and dirty, but it's a good kind of dirty, and his whole body is vibrating, his legs shaking, and the way Sasuke is draped over him is the best feeling in the world.

"Damn," he breathes, his heart racing.

"Yeah," Sasuke agrees.

He nuzzles into Naruto’s hair, something surprisingly soft and tender, and Naruto closes his eyes for a second, letting himself feel it. The weight of him. The heat. The truth in it.

"I missed you," Naruto admits.

There’s a pause. A heartbeat. Maybe two.

"I missed you too," Sasuke replies.

Naruto reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together.

"Come home with me."

Sasuke’s sigh is familiar. Frustrated. Guarded. But it’s not a no.

"Naruto..."

"You don't have to say you're staying," he says. "But stay tonight. We'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here."

He's spent years chasing after Sasuke, and he's not about to let him go, now that he's found him.

"You're so stubborn."

"That's a weird thing to say after fucking my brains out," Naruto points out. "Which reminds me, you owe me a second round."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Hell yeah. My turn."

Sasuke lets out a chuckle.

"Fine," he says, his mouth against his neck.

Naruto's knees are weak.

"So, what do you say?"

"Let's go home, usuratonkachi."

-

The stamina of the two strongest ninja in Konoha is nothing to laugh at. They barely make it through the door before they're on each other again, mouths crashing together, hands frantic and greedy.

"Bedroom," Sasuke murmurs.

Naruto smirks.

"Oh, don't think for a second that you're taking the lead this time," he growls, pushing him up against the wall.

Sasuke’s smirk doesn't falter. If anything, it sharpens.

"Oh, so I’m not getting the luxury of a bed just because I fucked you against a tree last time?"

"Exactly." There’s more behind it than just petty revenge. Naruto wants to mark this moment, to flip the script. He wants to show Sasuke that he’s not the only one capable of leaving the other undone.

Sasuke chuckles, low and defiant.

"Do your worst," he murmurs, but there's a flicker in his eyes. Something vulnerable beneath all that sharp-edged confidence. And Naruto sees it, feels it, like a bruise he wants to press into just to remind Sasuke it’s real.

"Oh, I plan on it," Naruto’s voice drops, and his hand cups him, palm pressing hard and slow.

The noise Sasuke makes, a strangled mix of a gasp and a groan, punches heat straight to his core.

He wants to hear it again. And again.

To be the only one who can draw that sound out of him. To be the only one Uchiha Sasuke lets himself fall apart from.

"We'll see about that,"Sasuke manages, but his voice is already fraying, and Naruto feels something sharp and primal twist in his chest. It’s not just arousal. It’s deeper. It’s knowing that Sasuke lets him see him like this, lets him touch him like this. It’s trust, even when it’s unspoken.

He leans in close, breath warm against Sasuke’s jaw. 

"Let’s get you ready," he whispers, and watches the way Sasuke swallows. Watches the way his chest rises, like he’s bracing himself.

His fingers tighten around Sasuke’s hips, not rough, but anchoring. Like he needs to remind himself that this is real. That Sasuke is here. That he came back.

Naruto bites at the skin just below his ear, drags his teeth across his pulse point, then sucks hard enough to leave a mark. Sasuke’s hands clutch at his shoulders, his legs already starting to shake, and the pride blooming in Naruto’s chest is almost dizzying.

"Lucky you, I do have some oil," he whispers, letting go, and then walking away, leaving him standing there, leaning against the wall.

he murmurs, pulling back. There’s a strange satisfaction in leaving him there, leaning against the wall, flushed and breathless and wanting.

He can feel Sasuke’s eyes on him as he crosses the room, can feel the weight of that gaze dragging across his back like a touch.

It would be so easy to turn around. To give in. To push him to the ground and take him fast and messy.

But no. Not yet.

He grabs the bottle and returns, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smug little tilt.

"This'll have to do," he says.

"What is it?"

"Oil."

Sasuke frowns.

"Where did you get that?"

"None of your business," Naruto says, pulling the stopper.

He tips the bottle over, pouring some oil into his hand, and then sets it aside.

"Take your clothes off." 

Sasuke rolls his eyes like he’s annoyed, but there’s a flicker of something else in his expression, a quiet thrill, maybe. A willingness to surrender, even if he won’t admit it.

When he’s naked, Naruto moves in close again, mouth finding his, tongue slipping in like a challenge. Sasuke gasps into it.

"Spread your legs."

"Shouldn't I turn around, or something?"

"Oh, no," Naruto growls. "I want to see your face. I want to watch you fall apart. Now spread your legs, Sasuke ."

And gods, when he obeys–

That’s when it hits Naruto, sharp and unexpected, like a kunai to the ribs. He wants this. Not just to fuck him. Not just to dominate him. He wants to be seen . He wants Sasuke to know exactly what he does to him. How every breath, every sound, every twitch of pleasure beneath his touch feels like proof that they’re alive . That this is real.

"That's a good boy," Naruto whispers.

"Fuck you," Sasuke mutters. "Don't treat me like I'm your – ah."

He breaks off, when Naruto's hand finds his dick. He gives him a few good strokes, his palm spreading the oil, and then slides his hand further down, his fingers moving past his balls, until they're teasing his entrance.

Sasuke's knees tremble.

"I thought you were a pro at this," Naruto taunts, and Sasuke's glare would have sent lesser men cowering.

"And you probably have no idea what you're doing."

Naruto doesn’t rise to the bait. He just smiles, slow and wicked, and presses a finger inside. Sasuke’s eyes roll back, and it’s almost enough to make Naruto lose control right then and there.

"Fuck."

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"It feels alright," Sasuke pants, but he's not fooling anyone.

Naruto pulls out, and then pushes back in. Sasuke's eyes flutter closed.

"Keep them open," he says.

"Don't boss me around."

"Keep. Them. Open."

Sasuke does open his eyes, but the red glow of his sharingan makes it clear that he's not going to follow orders without a fight.

Naruto wouldn't want it any other way.

He pulls his finger out, and then pushes two back in, and Sasuke bites his lip, his hips rolling forward, his dick pushing against his stomach. Naruto's mouth is watering, and he has the urge to bend down, to put his mouth on his dick, to worship him the way he deserves. He wants to taste him, hear the way he gasps when his tongue hits that spot.

But he doesn’t. Not yet.

Instead, he curls his fingers, pushing in deeper, searching, watching Sasuke’s face with hawk-like intensity. He’s looking for it, that moment, that crack in the mask.

And then he finds it.

When his fingers graze Sasuke’s prostate, the change is immediate. His mouth falls open, his eyebrows twitch, his cheeks flush, and the sound that escapes him is utterly wrecked, needy and raw and beautiful.

Naruto’s chest tightens.

God, he’s never going to get over that sound.

He leans in, drawn like a magnet, pressing their mouths together, licking into him with abandon. Sasuke whines, and it shoots straight through him. That whine feels like possession. It’s a plea, a promise, a curse. It tells him Sasuke trusts him, wants him, and Naruto would destroy the world before he lets go of that.

He pushes his fingers deeper, grinding them into that spot again, and Sasuke’s knees buckle.

He catches him automatically.

His free hand slides up his thigh, steadying him, gripping his ass. He’s trying to keep himself grounded, to not lose it completely, but Sasuke is shaking apart in his arms and Naruto wants nothing more than to give in.

"Fuck," Sasuke whimpers. "Let's go to bed. Please."

"I told you," Naruto says, his mouth finding his neck. "You're not getting a bed. But–"

He pulls his fingers out, and with a flick of his hands, forms the seal.

He wants Sasuke to remember this. Wants him to remember why he doesn’t get a bed tonight. Why he doesn’t get gentleness without earning it back.

Before Sasuke can finish his sentence, the clone pops into existence, lifting him up.

"–-kidding me," Sasuke finishes, his voice low, incredulous.

"Don't worry," the clone says. "I'll treat you real nice."

There’s something about watching his clone hold Sasuke like that – chest to back, lips at his ear, hands on his body – that sends a thrill down Naruto’s spine. It's indulgent, maybe. A little twisted. But seeing Sasuke surrounded, held, worshiped, it feels right .

Naruto steps in closer, heart pounding.

"Now, where were we?"

"I was asking for a bed," Sasuke grumbles, but there’s no heat behind it now. Just breathlessness.

"And I was saying no."

He kisses him again, deeper this time, like he's trying to memorize his taste. And Sasuke – Sasuke melts. Naruto can feel it. His muscles loosening, the fight draining out of him, the tension uncoiling from his body like a ribbon. He’s softening in his arms, pliant, opening up.

The clone's hands spread his thighs further apart, and he can't hold back a whimper, the sound vibrating against his lips.

Naruto's mouth is dry. He reaches down, curling his hand around his dick, and his entire body jerks, the sudden friction sending a shiver running down his spine.

"Naruto," he whines, and hearing his name like that, broken, desperate , makes him wild.

"Yes?" he murmurs.

"You bastard," Sasuke pants. "Get your fingers back in me. Now."

That please earlier cracked something open in Naruto, and now it’s unraveling fast.

"Sure," he breathes, reaching down, teasing his hole again, not giving in just yet.

Sasuke pushes back, trying to force him in. The clone holds him steady.

"Ask nicely," Naruto whispers, because he wants to hear it again. Needs it.

Sasuke’s eyes flash black, defiance burning, but not enough to hide the need.

"Please."

Naruto's breath hitches. That voice, that word – he’s going to remember it tonight. Tomorrow. For the rest of his damn life.

He pushes two fingers in, and Sasuke moans.

The clone keeps him steady, firm hands holding him in place, and Naruto works his fingers in and out, pressing kisses along his neck, nipping at his skin.

Sasuke’s hands are shaking. He grabs Naruto’s hair, tugging, grounding himself.

"More," he gasps.

Naruto is sure the word has never sounded so sweet. He could give him anything, everything, just for that voice. That vulnerability. That want.

He adds a third finger, and Sasuke hisses, his head falling forward.

"Yeah," he breathes. "Keep going."

Naruto twists his fingers, thumb pressing against his taint, and his mouth latches onto his neck again. He’s dizzy with need, with power, with the taste of Sasuke’s skin.

At the same time, the clone bites down on the other side, and Sasuke lets out a choked noise that sounds like surrender.

His Sharingan snaps open, blazing. His nails dig into Naruto’s scalp.

"Fuck," he growls. "Just fuck me, already."

Naruto almost laughs, giddy with the knowledge that this is what he does to Sasuke. That this , the sweat, the trembling, the desperation – is because of him.

"What happened to all that Uchiha pride, huh?" Naruto taunts, biting along his jaw.

"Go to hell," Sasuke hisses.

"Be nice," the clone warns, his voice low, his hand tightening its grip.

"Please," Sasuke whispers.

"Say that again," Naruto growls.

"Please."

Naruto can’t breathe. That word has never sounded so filthy, so reverent. Desperate Sasuke is his new addiction.

He pulls his fingers out, pushing his pants down, and lines himself up. His other hand knots in Sasuke’s hair, pulling his head back, exposing his neck. He wants to mark him. Claim him. Keep him.

"You ready?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sasuke gasps.

Naruto's lips curl into a grin.

"I'll take that as a yes," he murmurs.

He pours some more oil into his hand, spreading it over his length.

"Hold him up," he tells the clone, and Sasuke lets out a choked sob, his legs shaking.

He starts pushing in slowly, and Sasuke is panting. He's struggling to catch his breath, his face flushed, his lips swollen, his eyes half-lidded.

Naruto’s chest swells with something that’s not just lust. Not just possession. It’s deeper. He feels it in his ribs, in his pulse, in the spaces between each breath.

"Holy shit," Sasuke chokes out.

"Yeah," Naruto breathes.

Naruto buries himself all the way in, the heat of him overwhelming, the pressure perfect.

"Don't move," Sasuke begs, and his voice is strained, his face twisted in pain.

Naruto stops.

"Does it hurt?"

"Obviously," Sasuke pants.

"Do you want me to pull out?"

And for once, he’s not teasing. If Sasuke says yes, he’ll stop. Even if it kills him. But Sasuke can rival him in everything, and that includes stubbornness. 

"Don't even think about it," he growls, low and vicious, and Naruto freezes, equal parts relieved and wrecked by the way Sasuke’s voice trembles on the edge of control.

He waits. His hands clamp tight on Sasuke’s hips, teeth clenched, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he watches. Watches the lines in Sasuke’s body slowly unravel, the tension leaking out of him inch by inch, until he goes pliant in Naruto’s grip, thighs trembling, lips parted, eyes dark and dazed.

"Alright," he breathes. "I'm good."

"You're sure?"

"I swear to God, if you ask me that again, I'm going to– oh, fuck!"

His threat crumbles into a gasp as Naruto pulls back, his cock dragging out of him, only to slam back in with punishing force. Sasuke convulses around him, a shocked, helpless sound tearing from his throat.

"Oh, fuck , you bastard," Sasuke groans, every syllable strained.

Naruto grins, but there’s no mischief in it, only hunger. The clone has Sasuke lifted entirely off the ground now, knees hooked over strong arms, his body open, vulnerable, spread for him like a gift and a curse.

It’s filthy, the way he’s laid bare – back arched, mouth open, sweat glistening on flushed skin – and something inside Naruto snaps loose. He stops thinking. The part of him that is man, shinobi, friend, all of it shuts off, and what’s left is nothing but instinct and heat and the primal need to claim .

"You like that?" he growls.

"Shut up," Sasuke spits out.

Naruto doesn’t listen. He grips Sasuke’s jaw, forcing his gaze up, forcing those mismatched eyes to meet his.

"How’s the view from there?"

Sasuke looks like he's about to kill him, and it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen.

"Cause from where I'm standing, it's pretty damn good," he smirks. "Never thought I'd get to see you like this."

"If you don't shut up right now, I'll –"

"You'll what?" Naruto interrupts. "You'll kill me? Go ahead. Do it."

"I will," Sasuke swears, but his voice is unsteady, his words broken by sharp breaths.

Naruto doesn’t believe him. Not when the Sharingan is flickering wild and unfocused. Not when he’s writhing on Naruto’s cock, eyes glassy, mouth open and panting. Not when he’s this far gone.

Not when his body is clenching around him like it’s begging for more.

Naruto thrusts in harder. Sasuke’s head snaps back with a moan so wrecked it barely sounds human. His fingers claw at Naruto’s scalp, his thighs tighten around his waist like he’s trying to disappear into him.

"Come on," he pleads.

And, well, Naruto is too weak to deny him anything.

He fucks him harder, faster, the rhythm turning savage. Every thrust drives the breath from Sasuke’s lungs. The clone’s grip is iron-tight, bruising, a perfect counter to the helpless way Sasuke’s body shakes with every collision.

"So close," Sasuke chokes out.

"Do it," Naruto pants.

He grips Sasuke’s ass, spreading him wide, his nails dragging down his skin. Sasuke’s back bows, his moan long and broken, fingers slipping into Naruto’s hair and pulling like he’s trying to hold on to the last thread of control.

"I'm going to–"

"I said do it ." 

Naruto’s hand finds his cock, stroking fast and firm, and that’s all it takes. Sasuke shatters with a cry, coming hard, his whole body seizing. Naruto feels it, his ass spasming around him, squeezing tight, pulling him under.

He holds back.

Just for a second. Just long enough to watch Sasuke twitch, oversensitive, trying to squirm away–

And then he sees it.

The single tear sliding down Sasuke’s cheek.

It undoes him.

He grabs Sasuke’s hips, forces him down, buries himself as deep as he can go, and comes with a groan torn from his chest. It’s not just release – it’s obliteration. Like his soul is spilling out, burning into Sasuke’s skin with every pulse of his orgasm. He bites down on his collarbone, hard enough to bruise. Maybe scar.

Maybe he wants it to scar.

Naruto doesn't have the chakra to hold his clone up, so when it dispels, they both crash to the floor, a tangle of limbs, sweaty and sticky and gross.

But the best kind of gross.

Naruto is not sure which of them starts laughing first.

All he knows is that, a second later, they're both giggling like madmen, their hands finding each other's, their fingers tangling together, and Sasuke is smiling, his head hitting his chest, and he's never looked more beautiful.

"I can't feel my legs," Sasuke whispers.

Naruto grins like an idiot, heart beating so loud he thinks maybe Sasuke can hear it.

"Tragic," he says. "Guess you’re stuck here now."

Sasuke snorts.

"Guess I can stay a little longer, then," he mumbles.

"How very generous of you," Naruto whispers.

"Yeah," Sasuke breathes, his eyes fluttering closed. "I'm the greatest."

"You're alright," Naruto mutters. "I guess you did earn a bed tonight."

"Shut up, usuratonkachi," Sasuke yawns.

Naruto pulls him closer, and smiles.

-

The sun is high in the sky, the rays shining through the window, and when Naruto wakes up, he's alone.

He sits up, looking around.

The house is empty.

"Sasuke," he calls out.

There's no response.

"Sasuke!"

"I'm here, idiot," Sasuke grumbles, walking out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"You didn't leave," Naruto breathes.

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Did you really think I would?"

Naruto can't help the way his lips stretch into a wide grin.

"Come here," he says.

"Why?"

"Cause I want to hug you."

"That's gross. I'm not hugging you."

His words say one thing, but his body language is saying another, and when he falls into his arms, his face pressed against his chest, it feels right.

Like coming home.

"You're such a loser," Sasuke mumbles.

"And yet you're the one who's clinging to me," Naruto points out.

"You're the one who asked for a hug."

"Mhm."

"This doesn't change anything."

"Of course not," Naruto says, his heart swelling.

"We're not going to act all lovey-dovey or anything."

"Right," he agrees, his hands moving up, his fingers tangling into his wet hair.

"And I'm not going to stay in Konoha."

"I know."

"So don't get any stupid ideas," Sasuke warns.

"Got it."

"And don't tell anyone I'm here."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Naruto murmurs, before tilting his chin up, his mouth finding his.

"We're not together," Sasuke says, when he pulls away.

"Obviously," Naruto whispers, leaning in, their lips brushing together.

"And if you summon a clone again, I'm going to murder you," Sasuke threatens, before kissing him.

"Fair enough," Naruto laughs, and then Sasuke's hands are cupping his cheeks, and his tongue is in his mouth, and, well.

He thinks maybe Sasuke isn't quite as stubborn as he used to be.

-

Omake

Kakashi does not ask for this.

He approaches Naruto’s house with the simple, innocent goal of dropping off some paperwork. The weather is nice. The birds are singing. He’s halfway through a new Icha Icha chapter and nothing can ruin his day.

Until it does.

He steps within twenty meters of Naruto’s door and immediately regrets it. 

A chakra signature he hasn’t felt in months – or was it a year already? Dark, sharp, unmistakable. Sasuke. 

And he’s…

The chakra signatures are... close. Too close. They spike and twist together, erratic and charged, like two wild animals locked in some terrible, unspeakable ritual of—

The implications slam into him at once. He's already lifting his mask higher on instinct, as if that'll protect him from what he knows is going on inside. His brain tries to deny it, but his finely tuned senses – his cursed, overdeveloped senses – are already painting a very vivid, very graphic picture.

Nope. Nope. He’s not doing this.

Just as he’s planning the quickest escape route to the nearest bar, a familiar voice calls out.

"Kakashi sensei! Hi!"

He flinches like he’s been struck by lightning. Turns around slowly.

Sakura beams at him, oblivious, cradling a paper bag in her arms. “I brought Naruto some lunch. I figured he’s too lazy to cook for himself, as always.”

"Nope," Kakashi blurts. "No, no, he’s… full."

Sakura blinks. "What?"

"Stuffed," he says

"Uh," Sakura says, confused. "Okay. Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Kakashi replies. "Everything is perfectly fine. Wonderful, actually. I was just about to go to the bar and drink myself into a coma. You should come with."

Anything, but to have this conversation.

"Is Naruto sick?"

"Sort of," Kakashi says, and then cringes, because that was a terrible choice of words.

"Should I bring him some medicine?" Sakura frowns, glancing at the door. "Maybe you should check on him. If he's not feeling well, he might need someone to look after him."

"He's being looked after," Kakashi says.

"Is Hinata visiting him? That's so sweet!" Sakura smiles.

Kakashi has never wanted to disappear so badly in his entire life.

Unfortunately, before he can find an excuse, or an alternate escape route, or a genjutsu to put himself under, a loud crash sounds from inside the house, followed by what is unmistakably Sasuke's voice snarling, "I said don’t use the clone again, dumbass!"

Sakura blinks.

"…Was that—?"

"Bar," Kakashi insists, tugging her arm. "Now."

Sakura narrows her eyes. "Was that Sasuke?"

"No."

"You’re lying."

"No, I’m strategically redirecting."

"Are they–"

"Let’s never finish that sentence."

She stares at him. He stares back.

A muffled groan echoes out of the house.

They both flinch.

"…I’m going to need something stronger than sake," she mutters.

"Excellent," Kakashi says, releasing a long-suffering sigh as he guides her toward town. "First round’s on me. I'm putting the rest on the Hokage's tab."

"You are the Hokage."

"Details," Kakashi dismisses, and prays for a better tomorrow.