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Caleb still remembers the day Josephine greeted him at the shelter. She strolled in, a wide, motherly smile on her face, but Caleb knew better. He had subtly shifted himself so that he was standing in front of the sleeping girl, hiding her from Josephine’s view. Josephine looked over, and her smile widened by a fraction at the sight of him.
She approached slowly, her palms up, as if reaching out to a wild animal ready to strike. Caleb felt just like one. He’d never forget how cold and cruel Josephine’s gaze was as she poked and prodded at him without an ounce of sympathy. Although the older woman was far sweeter to the little girl by his side, he would never forgive Josephine for the atrocities she had committed against her.
He was never allowed out of his room aside from when they experimented on him or for meals, but he always found a way to escape. He needed to be there for her, even if a glass pane was in the way. He always watched with wide eyes and angry tears as they cut and yanked the girl apart until her heart stopped beating. Her screams haunted—still haunt him to this day.
Caleb shivered. Despite only being 10, he feels the weight of the world constantly crashing down on him. If it weren’t for the little girl napping behind him, his best friend, he doesn’t know if he’d even still be alive. Before they had met, Caleb had succumbed to his fate of endless torture he endured every day. He had lost his will and drive despite not even reaching double digits in age. Every night, Caleb silently prayed that he wouldn’t wake up the next day.
He had been aimlessly trudging back to his room after lunch when a weight bumped into him, almost toppling him over. Caleb huffed, looking down to see what he had collided with. To his surprise, it was another kid, a couple of years younger than him, it seemed. He had grown used to seeing other children around, but never being in close proximity to any of them. They had set him apart, locked him away in his own special room, away from everyone else. He was something special, powerful, and useful, they had told him.
The little girl had grasped onto the rags they gave him as clothes to avoid her fall. He tried to pry her tiny fingers off but paused when she stared up at him with bright eyes. Caleb blinked, and the girl blinked back. He tilted his head curiously, and her head shifted as well, mimicking his. Caleb opened his mouth to say something, but the girl was dragged off by one of the staff members before he could get a sound out.
He stared as they hauled her down the hall. Though she did not actively put up a fight, Caleb could see the spark of ferocity in her eyes. When he returned to his room, he stood in front of the mirror. Dull, purple eyes stared back at him. His mind wandered to the girl. He had never seen as bright and dazzling as her eyes before.
The second time they met was during lunch a few days later. He had been poking at the plain, tasteless “nutritional” mush that was provided for every meal with his spoon. The sound of a tray clanking on the table caused him to look up. Across from him was the same little girl, the one with the bright eyes, whom he had crashed into the other day, clambering onto the seat too big for her. When she settled in her seat, she gave him a wide smile. Caleb raised a brow and studied her. They told him to always submit without question, but with the rare smile around this place, he couldn’t help the questions that swam in his mind.
“Who are you?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
The girl raised her right arm and wordlessly pointed at the band on her wrist. It read A-01 . She looked at him expectantly. He copied her movement and pointed at his own wristband, X-02 . He didn’t know if she could read yet, but she seemed to understand.
His gaze drifted down to her tray. Alongside the lump mandated nutritional mush everyone was served for lunch, two slices of apples sat bright and red next to it. Caleb’s eyes widened. Nobody ever got anything other than the mandated meal. The girl must have noticed Caleb’s stare because when he looked back at her, she held up one of the slices towards him.
Caleb felt something in him flutter, but not in the usual way his anxiety made him flustered. It was something lighter—warmer. For a split second, Caleb wondered how this simple act of kindness could make him feel so safe for once in his short, insignificant life. He cautiously plucked it out of her waiting hand and was rewarded with another smile of hers. This time, he couldn’t help but return a shy one of his own.
He saw her every day at meal time after that. He had come to the conclusion that she must be special, like him, which allowed them to interact. Though the little girl never spoke, she’d find ways to non-verbally respond to his many questions. Even though Caleb was the only one speaking, the two grew close in a short amount of time. He had even begun affectionately dubbing her as “pipsqueak”.
“It’s because you’re so tiny,” Caleb laughed.
She pouted and rolled her eyes. You’re older than me, of course, you’re bigger than me.
Caleb wrapped her in a tight hug despite the awkward positioning of them being on opposite ends of the table. She nuzzled her head into his chin. Although that was part of the reason, he didn’t want to drag the mood down with his true thoughts. Caleb hated how demeaning it was to be referred to as letters and numbers, as a specimen, less than, and unworthy of a name. He refused to call her by the label EVER had tagged her with, he wouldn’t stoop to their level and refer to his friend—he smiled at the thought, his first friend—as such.
Caleb never saw her outside of meal time, but whenever he was called in to be experimented on, his mind would drift back to her bright eyes and the apple slices she so kindly shared with him. It anchored him, almost letting him forget the pain he endured. Caleb began looking forward to waking up the next day again.
Caleb was shaken out of his newfound reverie the day she had died for the very first time. He was being escorted by a staff member to the torture chamber, as he had deemed it, when he spotted the girl being escorted back from it. He knew every kid at this wretched place underwent some form of experimentation. No kid went about without at least a new scar every day.
He clenched his fist, digging his nails into the meat of his palm. The girl had her head down, silently shuffling next to her chaperone. Caleb figured since they never intervened when they interacted at lunch, they wouldn’t mind him doing so now. He strayed a few steps ahead of his own chaperone to comfort the girl. It was never easy coming out of that despicable room. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and make her feel safe like how he feels whenever he’s in her presence. However, to his horror, when she looked up at him, that spark he had grown to love and admire had vanished from her eyes.
She stared up at him blankly, as if she didn’t recognize him at all. The girl’s chaperone glared down at him, but he refused to take his eyes off the girl. Something was wrong, very wrong. They had been getting along for the past couple of weeks now, he knew she could pick him out from the crowd as he could her. However, her current gaze said otherwise.
Caleb lunged for the adult next to her, nails clawing at skin. He hadn’t been able to cause much harm before he was being tugged away, roaring. He spared a glance at the girl who watched everything happen with an eerie, dead stare.
“What did you do to her?!” Caleb demanded, struggling against the hold on him.
“None of your business, brat,” the woman he had attacked spat.
Caleb fumed. A hand had been placed almost gently on his shoulder, and Caleb looked up. He shivered at the icy glare of his own chaperone. He couldn’t move a muscle as their stare pinned him to the floor.
“He should know, shouldn’t he?” Caleb shrank a little at the condescending tone, “They are…friends, after all.”
The woman chuffed, “Right. Friends. Well, if you really want to know, she finally hit her breaking point and died. She doesn’t even remember anything, which works in our favor. Just as planned.”
Caleb’s head reared up in shock, “Died? As planned?”
His chaperone shoved his head down, “I’ll indulge you this time, but you should stop asking questions if you know what’s good for you. This little girl has something spectacular in her. It shouldn’t be possible to revive her so easily after a death like that, but here she is, seemingly even stronger than before. More experiments will have to be done to be sure, but we’ve only just begun anyway.”
As if they could predict his next moves, Caleb felt a pinch in his arm, and though he tried to resist, the anesthetic set in quickly. As his eyes closed, his gaze stayed steady on the girl’s retreating form. I have to keep her safe, he thought to himself as he fell into a dreamless sleep.
It was an endless, heart-wrenching cycle. It continued week after week, which led to months, and eventually, Caleb stopped keeping track. Every time he reintroduced himself to her, she’d forget him the very next day. His hatred for EVER grew with each memory wipe, but he always put on a brave smile for her.
He heard the murmurs about how her evol kept getting stronger with each death. Caleb wasn’t sure what her powers entailed, but he couldn’t care less when her mind drifted further and further away, leaving her a pliant doll for them to play with. He seethed at their disregard for her well-being.
Caleb began plotting. He had snuck out of his room successfully plenty of times before, but he was fueled with purpose this time. He didn’t care what sort of punishment he would receive if caught; He had to see for himself what they were doing to her. What wicked methods had they been using to torture her—to take her away from him?
He snuck into the experimentation room with ease, which unsettled him. It felt too easy. He had practically waltzed right in. He pushed his wariness to the side and made his way to the giant window that separated him from her.
Nausea hit him immediately, and Caleb felt his knees growing weak at the morbid sight in front of him. He leaned against the window to support his weight as he watched them. Caleb stared, frozen in horror, as they swapped to a new set of equipment. The girl lay strapped onto the table, tears streaming down her dull cheeks, eyes nearly rolled all the way back. He knew the feeling all too well. He hoped she had fallen unconscious, never wishing that she’d experience the point where all the began blending together.
As if the girl didn’t already have her chest carved open, her heart beating weakly in the open air, the woman who seemed to be the lead surgeon—if he could even call her that—picked up the scalpel from her set of tools. He wanted to pound at the window and scream at them. Hadn’t they cut her open enough, stolen enough of her blood? He knew that the only reason she wasn’t making any noise was because she had already screamed herself hoarse.
Caleb wished he could barge in and stop them, but he knew it would only throw a wrench in his plans. They’d simply knock him out and throw him back into his room, and give him an even more difficult time the next time he was on that table. With his evol locked away by his wristband, there was nothing much he could do. He was only a child.
Caleb’s angry gaze flew across the room, taking each face into memory so he knew which ones he wouldn’t spare if he were given the chance. He froze when his eyes connected with the leader of the operation. Caleb shivered under her piercing stare. She looked at him as if he were nothing more than a bug underneath her shoe, perhaps even less than. She held his gaze for only a moment before focusing back onto her task.
“Let us begin,” her voice rang out clear with authority.
Without wasting another second, she began cutting into the girl’s flesh with practiced ease. As soon as the blade touched her skin and the girl’s ragged screams hit Caleb’s ears, he ran. He couldn’t watch or listen anymore. It was all too much. He locked himself away the rest of the day and refused to go out for dinner. He needed to think, to find a way out immediately.
Caleb was surprised he hadn’t been called in for a few days, but he couldn’t feel any solace from it when he knew they were torturing her instead. He couldn’t wait around any longer and stormed out in search of the girl. Luckily, he caught her as she was about to be escorted in. He clawed at the staff members around him, flailing like a wild animal. He managed to free the little girl from their grasp and stood bravely in front of her, separating her from their tormentors.
One of the staff members reached out to yank him away, but he bit down hard on the hand. With a pained shriek, the staff forcefully pried open Caleb’s jaw to remove their hand. Caleb snarled, and he felt the girl fist the back of his shirt. Even though she was afraid, he felt glad that she was feeling something, rather than the deadness he had witnessed before.
Caleb nearly cried out of relief when they’d pulled him into the room instead of her. It’d mean they’d given her a break. He had long vowed to take on as much pain and suffering as needed in order to relieve her of hers.
As he lay on the table, nude, save for his underwear, and strapped down, he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. Thinking of her sweet smiles and warm hugs always worked. Just as he’d begun to calm, a familiar icy voice calling his name sent his heartbeat skyrocketing with anxiety.
Caleb snapped his eyes open. Though he had only heard that voice once, he could recognize it anywhere. It was her, the one who had cut open his only safe haven in this hell without an ounce of humanity. The one who had eyed him down as if he were nothing but a piece of lint on the ground as he watched them poke and prod at the girl’s dying heart. He was going to be sick.
“Get the fuck away from me!” Caleb thrashed against the bindings on his wrists and ankles.
The woman gave no reaction, which fueled Caleb’s rage even more. How dare she commit these inhumane atrocities and act like nothing has happened? She knew he had witnessed everything. It was almost as if she had left the room open for him to walk into that day, as if she had wanted him to witness it all.
Caleb clenched his fists and snarled. The woman merely gave him a brief smile before turning to set up her station. This must be his punishment for finally feeling an ounce of safety in this godforsaken place.
“You’re incredibly smart for someone your age,” she said as she stuck electrodes onto his forehead, “You should know there is no escape by now.”
Caleb simply glared at her, and as soon as she had finished setting up, the tests began. Caleb had been injected with more mystery substances than he even knew could exist, and his body and evol were pushed to the limits. Everything hurt; he was exhausted and miserable. It didn’t stop for an entire week with little breaks, but he was grateful. He was grateful that he was the one on that table being tormented instead of his kind and caring friend. Caleb refused to cry on that table despite his every nerve being set on fire..
When they finally tossed him back into his room, Caleb wasn’t sure if he was even still alive. He waited for them to leave before he would even attempt to push himself off the floor, but they didn’t. He heard more footsteps coming his way, and they halted before one of them used their boot to roll him onto his back. In his pain-inflicted haze, he swore he saw an angel descend upon him in the form of his best friend.
“A-01 wanted to see you. Refused to eat and starved herself until we let her,” the man who had rolled him over sneered, “Can’t have our best subjects killing themselves without our supervision, unfortunately.”
Caleb let out a weak scoff as his door closed and the escorts left. He felt a small hand gently rest on his shoulder, and he used the last of his strength to sit up and lean against his bed on the floor. Finally, he allowed himself to cry.
He could feel the girl fretting near him but he couldn’t stop the sobs. He cried even harder when she wrapped her arms around his weak body and gave a light squeeze. Amongst his own wails, he heard her murmur, causing him to cease his tears.
“Don’t cry,” her voice came out as quiet as a whisper, a little croaky from lack of use.
For the first time in months, Caleb no longer had a proper concept of time, he laughed—a real laugh. Seemingly startled by his change of emotions, the girl backed up a little and blinked at him with wide eyes. Caleb settled and gently took her hand in his.
“That’s the first time you’ve said something,” he beamed, the warmth of her hand traveling up his own and spreading into his heart.
The girl looked away shyly and nodded, “Safe. With you.”
Caleb felt the tears well up in his eyes but quickly wiped them away before she could worry anymore. He pulled her back into his embrace, kissing the crown of her head. The two held tight, not wanting to let go just yet.
“You make me feel safe, too,” Caleb whispered.
It’s subtle at first, the shaking and rumbling. Having been worn out from the extensive experimenting and testing, Caleb slept heavier than usual. However, the whimpering next to him snapped him awake immediately. He gathered the girl in his arms and held her tight while assessing the situation around him.
The entire sky was red, and the shaking got stronger. There was an ominous, dark pit looming above the building. He immediately knew this was their chance to escape, and if not now, they would be dead from the rubble of the current building anyway. Without a second thought, he helped the girl up and ran with her hand in his.
“Pips, hold onto my hand tight, okay?” Caleb spared a glance behind him to check on the girl he was practically dragging with him.
She nodded frantically and squeezed his hand. Caleb wasn’t at his full strength, but he pushed on. The building had already started collapsing, and Caleb held onto the girl tightly as he guided them away from the falling debris.
It’s only when they halted at a crumbled wall did Caleb realize that their wristbands had fallen off. Perhaps during the chaos, with the building actively collapsing, the systems that controlled the wristbands crashed and set them free. Caleb watched as the wall crumbled three floors down onto the road.
He turned to the girl and said with a gentle voice, “We’re gonna jump, okay? All the doors are blocked, and this is the only way out.”
As predicted, the girl shook her head, backing away from the hole. Tears streamed down her face. As much as it pained Caleb to force her to do something she didn’t want to, he knew he had to. It was their only chance.
“We can use our evols now, see?” Caleb showed her his free wrist, “I can get us down safely, but you have to jump with me. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”
Despite his own pounding heart, he had to make sure hers wasn’t. His eyes flew to the loosening debris above their heads. He pulled her a little closer.
“Just hold on tight,” he begged.
The girl trembled and cried, but looked at him with determination and whimpered, “Promise?”
“Promise,” Caleb nodded.
Hand in hand, the two children leapt from the third floor just as the ceiling above them collapsed. The girl screamed in terror, and Caleb immediately put his evol to use. If he hadn’t been so drained from the previous week, he probably could have controlled it better, but he was able to soften their fall.
Caleb quickly tugged the girl into his embrace as they shot closer and closer to the ground. He used his body to shield hers as they landed and rolled across the ground. With a pained groan, he sat up, inspecting the girl.
With no visible new injuries, Caleb pulled her back into his arms as she sobbed. He sniffled a little as well as he ran a hand soothingly up and down her back. He cooed at her in hopes of easing her wails.
“You’re okay now, Pips. I’ve got you,” he hushed, rocking a little.
The girl’s cries eased into sniveling, “Caleb…safe.”
“Caleb?” He asked, pointing to himself.
The girl nodded, wiping her own tears away
“Caleb,” she pointed at him and then pointed at herself, “Pips.”
Caleb nearly burst into tears then and there. His lips stretched into the widest smile he’s ever smiled. In return, the girl finally smiled back.
“That’s right, Caleb will keep you safe,” he hugged her, teary-eyed.
Caleb was elated. He finally had a name of his own, dubbed by his very own Pips. With renewed vigor, Caleb stood and dusted himself off, and set off for safety hand in hand with his only friend.
The shelter was safe enough. Truthfully, Caleb wasn’t sure if any place would ever be safe enough for his Pips, but for now, the shelter that had mercifully taken them in should do.
Throughout the months there, Caleb had learned many things. The first was that he had the deepspace tunnel that appeared in the sky for their escape. He later found that people had dubbed it the Chronorift Catastrophe. Despite eavesdropping hearing about how many have lost so much from the disaster, he couldn’t help but be immensely grateful towards it. Without it, he wasn’t sure he’d be standing there at all.
Caleb also learned that though they had escaped EVER’s building, the feeling of safety was fleeting. He was constantly wary of the eyes around him, wondering what two lonely children were doing by themselves with no adult supervision at the shelter. Especially since the girl didn’t speak—she only spoke to him, but even then, she did not speak much—he was worried people would view her as disrespectful and harm her. He kept the girl close to him at all times. Only in the dead of night, when even all the adults were asleep, could Caleb feel at ease.
Curled up under the blankets in the same bed as his best friend was the only source of comfort he had. As he listened to her soft breaths as she slept, only then was he able to calm the storm in his mind. Only when she clutched at his shirt, murmuring in her sleep, was he able to stop the constant warnings his brain would throw at him.
Eventually, Caleb learned to live with “safe enough ”. He had come to terms with the fact that nothing would be up to his standard of security, but he was content. As long as he had his Pipsqueak, he would be alright. That was until Josephine walked past the shelter doors.
“Get away from us,” Caleb growls, hackles raised.
The girl stirs behind him and slowly stands up and tugs at his shirt, curious as to what is going on. The older woman simply watches with a placating smile on her face. It creeps Caleb out how easily she can make herself seem docile despite her cold and uncaring eyes. Nothing can wipe the memories of her cruelty from his mind.
Caleb keeps the younger girl behind him as the older woman pulls out a couple of papers from her bag to show him. As he reads and processes the words on the papers, he can feel every ounce of hope draining from his body. She officially has custody over them, and Caleb is once again reminded that he is merely a child and there is nothing he can do.
“My name is Josephine, and you’ll both be staying with me from now on,” she smiles at them.
Josephine gently takes one of their hands in each of her own and quietly leads them out of the shelter. Caleb is numb, Josephine’s soft tittering falling deaf on his ears. He even lets her strap him safely into her car without a fight.
Caleb has never wished to learn her name or to see his greatest tormentor show up in front of him. Yet here he is.
Most of the drive is silent, and it’s only when Josephine finally speaks again does Caleb snap out of his thoughts.
“You’re a smart kid. You should know there is no escape by now,” she smiles at him through the rear-view mirror.
Caleb feels sick. There truly is no escape.
The first few nights at their new “home”, Josephine had been just so kind enough to let them share a room. Caleb wonders if she’d somehow gained some humanity during their time apart. However, the thought is quickly dispelled when Josephine insists that the girl learn to be more independent from Caleb and sleep in her own room.
After spending months sharing a bed with the girl, Caleb finds it difficult to split from her at night. Even just the thought of her being one room apart has him feeling queasy and anxious. He can’t protect her properly if he’s not right next to her. He puts on a brave face and departs from her with a goodnight kiss on the head, not wanting to scare her. He’s just glad the girl doesn’t remember Josephine and that she has settled in nicely so far. He falls asleep with great difficulty.
Caleb stirs in his sleep. He’d always been a light sleeper, if he slept at all, due to the constant state of hypervigilance he was in while at EVER. His eyes remain closed, but his ears tune in on the rustling seemingly coming from downstairs. He slowly opens his eyes and squints at the clock by his bedside. It is 2 in the morning.
The boy tosses the blankets off his body and sits up. Josephine should be asleep or tinkering away with something , he tries not to dwell on what torture devices she could possibly be working on in her own room. Caleb swings his feet off the bed, toes curling slightly at the coolness of the floor. Rubbing his eyes, he makes his way out of his room and towards the room next to his.
He is surprised to see the door wide open already. Caleb peeks in and sure enough, the bed is empty. He panics quietly, worrying over the girl he had come to this new “home” with. Caleb’s head whips towards Josephine’s door down the hall. The lights are still on, casting a soft glow through the cracks of the door. He only sees one shadow, which he recognizes as Josephine’s, and lets out a sigh of relief. His Pips isn’t in the room with that monster .
Caleb makes his way downstairs as quietly as possible and ventures around in the dark. He spots a familiar head of tangled, bed-mussed hair. He lets out a breath of relief he didn’t even know he was holding. He makes his way over while making some noise so as not to startle her. She turns around at the sound of his footsteps and beams.
“What are you doing down here, Pips? Can’t sleep?” Caleb whispers.
The girl shakes her head, “Caleb…heard you tossing and turning. Just wanted to get you a cup of water.”
She brings out her hand from behind her back and reveals the empty cup she’s holding. Caleb simply chuckles affectionately before taking the cup from her and filling it up himself. He drinks a little before offering the girl the cup, which she drinks from thankfully.
“Thank you for thinking of me. Let’s go back to bed now, yeah?” Caleb sets the now-empty cup in the sink.
He takes her hand and starts to head towards the stairs, but is met with resistance. He looks back, and the girl is tugging at his hand. He gives her a concerned look, and the girl looks away, seemingly not knowing what to say. Caleb ushers her towards the couch instead.
They sit for a while and eventually lie across the couch, cuddling close. Caleb gently strokes her head as she presses close against him. They remain in comfortable silence for a while.
“Caleb,” the girl whispers, and he pauses his patting.
“Yeah?” He mumbles back, wrapping his arms around her instead.
“Caleb, you always keep me safe,” she nuzzles into his chest, “I will keep you safe too.”
At her quiet, sleepy words, Caleb holds her a little bit tighter. He feels her breath slowing down, and he gives her a kiss on the head. He closes his eyes with a content smile. As he dozes off, Caleb thinks to himself that he might just be able to feel safe after all.