Chapter Text
The alarms on Adora’s pad were supposed to be a calming sound to wake up to. Her hab AI promised as much, but the gentle chiming bells and wind instruments did little more than grate against her ears. She'd rolled over during the fitful few hours of sleep she'd gotten and the invisible speakers were right up against her ears when the first flute started playing.
She groaned and pulled herself away as quickly as she could, fighting through the blinding migraine it caused to paw the pad enough to where it shut up. Once the horrid thing was finally off, she buried her face back in the extremely comfortable pillows. Her hab had been terribly rude in turning on the overhead lights at the exact time she'd set and that was her only solace.
“Hammbph lght urn uff” she mumbled, the taste in her own mouth wanting to make her gag. Reminders of her many bad decisions the previous night.
“Sorry, cutie! I couldn't quite understand that. Would you mind saying that more clearly?”
Adora winced and rolled her face over.
“Hab. libght. uoff.”
“Right away, cutie!”
The blissful darkness lessened the suffering in her eyes, but the AI’s voice had Adora’s ears ringing. With an amount of effort and energy she didn't know she possessed, Adora pulled herself out of bed and to the mini compiler by her desk. Damn Affini made every room huge for some reason so she nearly fell over three times. Her head slumped against the soft wall next to the panel as she held back vomit.
“Watnder” she groaned. “Smthin to make fuccin headache go…..please” the little device dinged. Apparently her half slurred words had approached something close to coherent speech. She didn't bother to check what medicine the compiler made for her. This was the Affini. It was gonna work.
She chewed the shockingly good tasting tablets and downed the water bottle in one solid gulp. Almost immediately the pain in her head faded and her nausea weakened, but didn't disappear completely. With her brain now functioning somewhere within the realm of ‘normally’, she could finally take stock of her situation.
She was still in last night's outfit, which brought a whole new wave of nausea. She hated the stupid slim dress that hugged every curve of her body. The texture was bearable but the way it sat so snug made her want to crawl out of her skin. Even with that fact, Adora hated it being on more for another reason entirely.
The whole purpose of the stupid thing was to look hot and be easy to take off. It was even one of those ‘easy access' ones that she'd been told were popular. The whole point of the fucking thing was to not wear it.
Even as she thought that, the memory of the actually really hot sophont reaching a hand up under it made her squirm, which only made her angrier. She hadn't even gotten past groping this time before freaking out. Usually she could at least get her clothes off before panicking.
She was ready to wallow in self pity all morning, but she had shit to do and lying around all day nursing a hangover and crying was a fast track to domestication. The compiler let her have another tablet, and combined with a quick huff from her class E inhaler made her approach something like normal. Not that the stupid fucking xenodrug helped last night, she grumbled to herself.
A quick bath involving the vigorous scrubbing of all makeup from her face and perfume from her body even made the morning somewhat pleasant. By the time she brushed her teeth and got dressed in something much more comfy, Adora nearly had a smile on her face. Seeing her studio set up in the living room didn't even hurt that bad. The most recent painting still sat unfinished- a scene of a flower festival she'd found pretty, but in its current state seemed more like a bunch of ghosts running over a field of spikes- but she could ignore that bit of self loathing for now.
If there was any skill Adora had gained in her life, it was compartmentalizing. It was a useful skill. One needed for the compact if you didn't want a collar around your neck. If you sat and acted as depressed as you really were, you wouldn't be a person for very long. Easier to shove it all down and rant about it to a friend later or pour her emotions out on a canvas.
She mindlessly parroted to the compiler as she reached the kitchen, a phrase she often repeated, just this time less intelligible: “Shamme as ‘lways.”. Seemingly understood by the machine, her usual and ever repeated meal was produced in less than a second: A grilled cheese sandwich with a mug of coffee. It’s not that she didn’t care for the pleasure of a balanced breakfast and good eating, worrying about choosing a meal was simply the last thing she needed right now when nursing this hangover.
She grabbed her pad off the table, mindlessly distracting herself with whatever the overnet provided. Mostly just comedic posts and lives of people being a lot happier than her current state. The one saving grace was the truly amazing content filters the Affini had. It made her feel disappointed in herself, but just barely, she wasn’t really registering much of anything she was looking at while eating her breakfast with another hand, the point was simply to numb the mind and pass the time.
Her compiled breakfast and leisurely scrolling through her pad was rudely interrupted, though.
[Buttonmasher] hey you still coming to the pool today? Ivy told me you were pretty gone last night so I wanna be sure.
[Buttonmasher] Ivy also said you left with someone. Hope you had fun😜
Adora's skin crawled again. She loved her sister, she really did, but ever since she got domesticated her ability to have any kind of boundary or tact had gone from low to non-existent.
[Inkyskies] yeah I'll be there. And I don't really wanna talk about last night, ok? Just leave it
[Buttonmasher] damn that bad?
Her fingers worked faster than her brain, typing at the screen: ‘what did i literally just say?’. Her senses got the best of her before she pressed send, however. Being this mean to a floret, even one closely related, would probably have her put on some kind of list and on a fast track to getting a collar on her neck. She breathed in, thinking again, wanting to avoid that possibility like the plague. The last thing she needed was to be coddled.
[Inkyskies] dont wanna talk about it.
[Inkyskies] thanks for asking though
She tacked on the last bit just to be safe.
[Buttonmasher] of course! Mommy is probs gonna bring me in an hour. Dress cute! Today's a new day, girl!
Adora took another controlled breath and closed the chat. Their mom has never been a mom exactly, but her sister calling some woman shaped plant ‘mommy’ that she'd only met six months ago felt…weird. She took another breath. Her sister was happier now, though. Happier than she ever saw her before. She could put up with a little discomfort for her. She'd eventually get used to it, she hoped.
Pushing that problem aside only revealed another; what the fuck was she going to wear? All the options on her pad fit into two equally bad categories: 1. Sexy and made her deeply uncomfortable, and 2. Comfortable but too conservative for her sister not to say something. The choice almost made her message Castey back and just telling her she wasn't coming.
Issue was, rotting at home and locking herself in was a quick way to get a wellness check placed on her. So with another option off the table, she had to go. Stars, the Affini were a pain to work around, or at least they could be if you were actually trying your best to remain independent. So, for now, it was for the best that she tried to find… Something that wouldn’t make her feel that awful in her body and go.
Maybe she could build her own attire from different parts. Mixing something not too revealing, with something less prude to not arouse that much suspicion. Browsing around on her pad, she found one option that looked acceptable; a swim skirt with shorts underneath. Rotating the preview, it looked good enough, covered enough skin to make her feel somewhat comfortable, but also not revealing as an average swimsuit. For the top, that was a harder choice. Her anxiety rose seeing there wasn’t much of an option but something a bit more revealing. She chose a more modest bikini top, and added it to a compiler.
Looking at the pieces on top of the compiler, she could feel her body shiver in a terrible way, anxiety piling up and spreading through her nerves. Still too much skin, still too suggestive, still made her skin crawl to think about it. Maybe she could cope with it for a while with it for a little, but she definitely couldn’t handle it for too long. Pulling up her pad in defeat, she added a more casual change of clothes to bring along so she wouldn’t have to endure it too long. Just a shirt and jeans she could change into once it was acceptable.
Once she'd packed all the clothes, her class E inhaler, some sketchbooks, an assortment of pens, and her pad into her bag, she didn't have much more of an excuse not to walk out the door. She managed to busy herself with compiling a wide brimmed sun hat after checking the weather schedule, but that was about it.
Walking out her hab was at least comfortable, and she did have to admit the simulated sun felt wonderful against her skin. She stepped through the little rock garden she'd set up, the spiraling little patterns of stone and glass being one of her few art projects she didn't hate with a burning passion.
One thing that was definitely better than her previous life, was that the Affini built their districts in a way that everything was somewhat walking distance from any sophont’s hab unit. It was a complete reversal of the Accord’s urban planning. She wasn’t much of an athlete, much closer to a shut-in if anything, so the shorter walks made going anywhere a much more bearable experience.
Threading through the streets on her side of the Malinae was always a mixture of feelings. For one, things were certainly always peaceful. It was hard to feel physically unsafe or unaccepted by the community given just how content everyone was. The abolishment of capitalism was the one thing Adora thought the Affini got absolutely right.
The difficult part, as always for Adora, was the people themselves. Most of the terrans she came across were pets and while she didn't necessarily have anything against the practice (how could she when she'd personally seen some of the cruelest and most violent people she'd known turned into bubbly bundles of joy), the inherent sexuality of it all made her nauseous.
How was she supposed to function when every other person walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant was either actively having sex, or engaging in some weird kink play that might as well be sex? Keeping her head down was the only way to stay sane.
The “pool” was more of a massive lake with all kinds of slides, lounging areas, diving boards, sprinklers, and crystal clear water that somehow felt rejuvenating to just be around. The thing was so big you could actually see the way it curved with the massive rings of the ship.
Aquatic Affini soared effortlessly through the water, keeping an eye on everyone who had come to visit. Definitely much more effective than the automated ‘lifeguards’ you had to pay hourly for in the accord. Florets in overly revealing bikinis and speedos (or just straight up naked) walked the resting areas handing out drinks, food, candy, or just about anything else you could think to ask for.
She kept her head down, walking at a slightly faster pace and hoping to avoid the uncomfortable feelings looking at those florets for anything more than short glances would inevitably cause. Her outfit wasn’t exactly that far from what some of them were wearing, at least her anxieties told her so, and she didn’t dare spiral into what that implied to her own appearance. That simply wasn't something she could handle right now.
Taking cautious glances, she searched for Castey, getting slightly annoyed. She was pretty sure she was actually late, Castey was supposed to be here by now! And yet, she just couldn’t find her. She wondered if her sister failed to arrive in time due to whatever she could be doing with her ‘mommy’. She shivered thinking about it, shaking her head to clear those thoughts-
“Eek!” the sound was squeezed from her, panicking immediately from something wrapping around her.. Arms? Oh, it was a hug. Stars damn it.
“Adora!! Hi sis!” A cheerful voice said from behind her.
She breathed in, trying to not say anything too mean about personal space or boundaries that she really wished to shout at Castey right now. After all, it’s basically certain that wherever a floret goes, their owner is never very far away.
“Hey Castey.” She said , trying to sound a bit more warm. “..Some personal space?” Castey snorted, but let her go.
“Sooooorrry. Mommy's got me a little hopped up right now.” Castey giggled, and Adora couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Giggling and smiling was something Castey simply hadn't done much of before. She was maybe a head shorter than Adora, a fact she always teased her about given she was actually the older sister. Her frame that had once been gaunt and sickly was now full and vibrant; made doubly so by the augments she'd gotten in her time as a pet. Adora wasn't totally a fan of the curling horns on her head or the short tail, but Castey liked them so that was enough.
Her dark brown hair was done up in an impossibly intricate braid that actually wove around the horns and her skin was significantly more tan than Adora's. That was nothing new, though. Castaspella had always been the more outdoors-y one. Her eyes were blown out, as usual for a floret, but were full of pure joy at the sight of her. Instead of another hug, Castey grabbed Adora's hand and looked her up and down.
“Oooo you picked something good today!” Adora internally sighed. She'd gotten that right at least. Castey's outfit was considerably more skimpy but getting her to wear clothes at all was an accomplishment. “Oh did you see they added a new waterfall last week!? It's got a slide in it and everything! Let's go!”
Castey has just begun to run off when a silky, melodic voice made them both freeze.
“Little billy goat! Let little Adora at least put her stuff down.” Castey mock groaned and let Adora go.
“Fiiiiiiine.”
Adora took a breath, silently thanking the Affini for slowing her sister down; something she never did seem able to do herself. Kalmia Phlox was actually a pretty easy Affini to be around for Adora. While most Affini were downright predatory in their search for more pets, Kalmia only cared for keeping Castey happy. Keeping Castey happy meant letting her be around Adora, and that didn't work unless she was comfortable too. Through the Affini’s weird logic, Miss Phlox actually treated Adora like more of a sister-in-law than a pet species.
“How are you doing today, petal?” Kalmia said towards Adora.
Well, how to even begin? For one she didn’t even want to be here, her entire body was fighting against her after yesterday’s terrible outing, and more than anything she yearned to lock herself back at home and let the day pass over her. But then, none of these were good things to admit to an Affini, so that absolutely wasn’t the answer she was going to give.
“I’m alright. Thank you for asking, Kalmia.” She added the gratitude, it was always pleasant how this Affini actually treated her like a person, instead of a pet-to-be, she genuinely respected that.
“Always. Sorry for my adorable little one’s demeanor, she was quite excited to see you today.”
“It’s.. Alright.” Adora said while putting down her bags next to one of the lounge chairs, along with the others’ belongings. “I’m also happy to see her, even if she is a little hyper. What do you have her on, anyways?” She joked, warmly. Having a happier sister was nice but stars was it exhausting sometimes.
“Hey, what are you two talking about behind my back!” Castey jokingly pouted as she skipped back over, a smile on her face. Adore couldn't help but smile back.
“What diving board to throw you off of, dummy,” she teased. Getting into rhythm with her sister was still surprisingly easy, even if it was a little weird.
The Affini scooped Castey up into her vines, making the floret yelp. She held her in a comfortable sitting position, vines wrapped tight. “Nothing to worry about, little goat.” Castey’s pretend pout was undone by her owner’s playful boop on her nose, disarming into an amused smile. “I was simply telling Adora about how excited you were to see her today!” the Affini turned to Adora and smiled warmly. “I actually had to give her a slight sedative. She's been running up and down my walls all day, talking about you.”
That was somehow.. Wholesome, even disarming somewhat. She could see how the affection was genuine between those two, even if being treated the way Castey was would make her uncomfortable, it really was genuine and seemed to help Castey a lot.
Of course that couldn't last long, though. It didn't take long for the moment to change into something else, as Kalmia’s vines moved to ruffle her floret’s hair and caress her skin, and Castey started making noises that Adora would really rather not be in hearing distance of. Stars, it’s always like this, she thought to herself, feeling disappointed for letting her walls down. It’s never innocent with the Affini. She looked away and tried to give them some semblance of privacy, even if they didn't actually care about that. She just tried to push everything down and find a spot to place her bag.
Seemingly, Kalmia took the hint, stopping whatever she was doing and Castey’s whimpers were replaced by a few muffled whines.
“That's enough for now, petal. Oh! Adora, Ivy should also be here in a few moments, I believe she was a bit worried about you.”
Oh no.
Oh stars and void and dirt, no.
Her composure almost cracked completely, but a quick vine slipped into her bag and placed the inhaler into her palm before she even had time to think. She had to take two huffs for the ringing in her ears to go away.
“Aww was it really that bad?” Castey asked, apparently let down by her owner and now wrapping her arms around Adora’s shoulders much more comfortingly this time.
“Y-yeah” she mumbled, unable to lie. “J-just umm- didn't work out, y'know”
Castey turned her around and looked surprisingly lucid as she smiled at her.
“I get it, sis. Finding someone who fits you can be difficult. But hey, let's have a good day! Don't worry about a thing and just relax! You need it” She ended her little pep talk with a boop on the nose, finally pulling a half smile from Adora. Suddenly, Castey looked around and leaned in, apparently wanting privacy for the first time. “Ivy wasn't the one that you went home with, right?” She whispered. Adora laughed a little sadly.
“No no no. She was great actually. Just still awkward with everything that- yeah. She's been a good friend.”
Adora hated her own messy emotions. Ivy had been wonderful the second they realized Adora wasn't interested in them. All advances stopping, all flirting suppressed, and boundaries respected without question. It should have made her happy to have such a good friend, but it only made her angrier.
She wanted to want Ivy. They were tall and buff and funny, but just the idea of kissing them made her nauseous. The one time she'd seen her naked (accidental as it was) made her skin crawl. She was a bad friend.
“I don’t know exactly what’s going on inside your head... But, I know it’s gonna be okay. Issues sorta just… End up figuring themselves out in the compact eventually, y’know? I’m here for you, Mommy is too if you ever need it.”
It was really hard to feel bad when she was given so much support from Castey. Maybe it’s fine, maybe someday she’ll get over all this and finally get okay with her body. Maybe Castey was just too optimistic, but her words were hopeful, and she really, really wanted to cling to them right there and then.
She couldn’t see herself ever asking Castey’s ‘Mommy’ for help, though. She snorted inside, joking away the anxiety.
“Thanks sis… That actually means a lot to me..” Adora finally returned the hug, appreciating the advice, relaxing her tense shoulders for once.
The endearing moment was interrupted by a playful noise from someone she recognized immediately, Ivy, making a face not unlike someone who’s just seen a reunion between long lost siblings. “Awww, that’s adorable.”
It wasn’t exactly hard to identify them. Both from Ivy being the tallest in the immediate area as well as the most.. Built. Their lime green hair, one half styled to one side and curling downwards, the other half shaved with an intricate design Adora didn’t really know what meant, but looked pretty. Florets were usually the more visually striking ones, but Ivy managed to outdo even them.
Lifting her hands in playful surrender, they added: “Oh, I wasn’t listening in, promise” Putting their own bags down, they continued. “y'all are just adorable sometimes. Oh and hi, Miss Phlox!”
“Wonderful to see you, petal. Castey, dear! I'll be just over here if you need anything! Now you cuties go and have fun!”
Adora was grateful ‘mommy’ wasn't going to be joining them, but the ease quickly disappeared as they began walking towards the huge artificial cliff of slides and diving boards. Castey ran on ahead, no longer able to contain herself, and Ivy walked up next to Adora.
“Hey so how was last night?” They said a little cautiously. Adora just huffed, not wanting to answer that stupid question again. Ivy nodded and patted her on the back. “I get it. You'll find someone, I promise. Sometimes it just takes some looking.” She smiled, but to Adora that almost felt like a threat.
Losing herself in the fun of the pool and waterpark was pleasantly easy. Even her swimsuit didn't bother her as she dove off high boards, swam through simulated currents, pressed her toes into the soft cool moss covering the rocks, and splashed Castey with the countless pool toys and water guns. Ivy was busy diving into the shockingly deep pits watched carefully by Affini lifeguards.
The simulated sun felt nice and warm against her skin each time she climbed out of the water, and she didn't even have to worry about getting a sunburn! One floret working at the snack stands explained the pool water was mixed with some chemical that coats your skin and keeps you healthy. That must have been why each dip had her skin feeling clean and refreshed, too. Moments like this was when Adora fully understood the beauty of the compact.
Even the many florets and Affini openly groping each other or even fucking didn't bother her as much as she thought they would. There were designated spots for such things so she was careful to avoid them. Castey went over to one with another floret they'd been swimming with, so Adora took the opportunity to have some relaxing time to herself.
The hot tub section was utterly gorgeous. Cool rocks surrounded shallow pools of steaming, herbal smelling water. Carefully placed trees arched over them, interlocking vines and branches making it pleasantly shady. There weren't that many sophonts there either, making it even better. The warm water massaging the last of her tension out of her muscles was the icing on the cake. Adora felt she could lay there forever. She didn't even fear falling asleep. She knew the Affini would never let her drown.
“Mind if I join you?” A husky voice called out. Adora cracked open an eye to see Ivy sitting on the edge a few feet away from her. Their braid was tucked carefully into a cap and water still glistened on their muscles.
“Sure” she said, too relaxed to be put off by the amount of skin they were showing. Ivy slid in next to her, sighing happily as they did. Adora appreciated how she kept a short distance. “No Castey, still?” Adora asked. Ivy chuckled.
“Nope. Her and Merph are probably gonna be making each other busy the rest of the day.” Adora shook her head but smiled a little at her sister's antics. “Y'know it's hard to believe you two are even related sometimes” Ivy joked, playfully punching Adora's shoulder. “If it wasn't for the weird ass names I wouldn't have believed it at all.”
“Mom was such a nerd…” Adora mumbled, running her hands through her drying hair. “It's nothing new, though. She's always been the more…extraverted one.” Ivy snorted.
“‘extraverted’ is certainly one word for it.” There was another comfortable silence before Ivy tapped her arm. “Hey, I hate to bring it up again, but what happened last night? I just wanna make sure they didn't- y'know…”
Adora shook her head.
“That wouldn't happen here. The Affini would have knocked the door down in seconds.”
“Then…?”
Adora sighed and grounded herself by pressing her palms into her eyes. She really didn't want to talk about it, but she assumed that was the ‘healthy’ thing to do. Plus, Ivy was an easy person to talk to.
“It was their place, not mine. T-they were really nice, y'know. Umm…” she felt Ivy put a hand on her shoulder. The touch was comforting. “...we started kissing a-and touching each other. It felt…good? It's supposed to feel good, right? There was no reason for it not to. I thought I was doing good this time. I really did! I-I figured the next step was…umm…I kinda pushed their hand under my dress a-and it felt good but…”
Adora took a shaky breath.
“Even when it felt good, it made me want to…I don't know…scream or something. I need to apologize to them... I-I freaked the fuck out and ran away. Drank myself stupid and fell asleep…”
There was another long moment. Adora appreciated how Ivy could just listen. It only made her feel worse, though. Stars, she really wanted to fall in love with them.
“Adora… You ever considered you may be ace?”
“What?”
“Y'know. Asexual.”
Adora rolled her eyes.
“I'm not asexual, Ivy. I…I mean…I can't be. I want a relationship. I want to…do those things. I'm just…I don't know. Guess I'm picky or something.” Looking over showed Ivy was less than convinced. “Fucking- I don't know, ok?”
“Not all relationships need to be about sex, hun”
“This is the compact, dude. Everything is about sex. Or kink or whatever else. All pets do is fuck, all independents do is fuck, all Affini do is domesticate pets and then fuck them.” Ivy’s face looked a little pained.
“...you know not all pets are sexually active, right?”
Adora wanted to tell her she was wrong, that she couldn't walk down the street without seeing all the things florets had done to them, but the conversation was making her anxious.
“Whatever…sorry. Just…tired”
Likely getting the hint continuing this conversation right now would only make Adora more stressed out, Ivy sighed.
“Hey, that's alright. We can talk about something else... Just give it some thought.” Ivy looked concerned still, and a bit pained.
Adora appreciated the pause, even if it just allowed her thoughts to linger in the same hole as before. Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't she just fit in? Why was everything so weird in a way she couldn't stars-damn take.
“Sure.. Thanks.” She replied, her right leg bouncing in worry. She was happy the bubbling water hid it.
They chatted for a while longer before Adora felt like she was overheating, finally pulling herself out of the water. Ivy did the same and they began walking back to the main lounge area with their bags. Ivy threw a large arm over her shoulder as they walked and Adora was surprised it didn't upset her. Ivy had made it clear her intentions were no longer romantic or sexual, so the touch was hesitantly accepted.
It was a truly relaxing time…
…So of course something had to go horribly wrong.
They were walking along one of the pool edges when a floret, a little overeager to throw themselves at their Affini in the water, knocked into Ivy as they ran by. It wasn't anything severe, but they were mid step and it was enough for Ivy to lose their footing.
Instinctively, they grabbed at whatever they could to keep upright. Unfortunately…that was Adora's top. The fabric tore much too easy (given the Affini that may have been a feature not a bug) and only knocked her over slightly. Ivy fell into the water with the floret, leaving Adora alone on the ground…topless.
It didn't feel real for a few seconds. A moment of shock as Adora’s mind tried to comprehend what happened.
“Oh! Ah! dirt! I'm so so so so sorry!”
The floret was saying something, but Adora’s heart was beating too loud in her ears to hear it. She looked around, frantically covering her chest. Most people weren’t looking directly at her…but some were. They'd seen it. Seen her.
She looked down at Ivy, already pulling themselves back up. In a flash of panicked anger, she picked her target.
“WHAT THE FUCK, IVY!” their face looked hurt, but she didn't care. It only made her angrier. It took everything she had not to cuss her out. There were Affini everywhere. They reached out and she flinched, like an animal attempting to gain footing to flee, “Shouldn’t have fucking come here.” She growled. She wasn't sure if it was pointed at Ivy or herself.
In an embarrassed rage, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it tightly around herself. It did nothing to calm the raging flush on her face or her rapid heartbeat. She felt exposed and dirty and violated and AGH
She grabbed her bag and didn't turn back before running away like the coward she was. She at least made it out of sight of the water park before the tears started.