Chapter Text
Xavier left as he had come in, through the balcony doors and onto his waiting shuttle. Miriam stood, facing that door, face utterly expressionless, back ramrod straight, for a moment that felt to Heinrix like a decade.
When she finally turned to face him she looked like a statue, so still and pale, her dark eyes resting on his face with steady contemplation. She moved her right hand to her left and stroked the ring that now sat upon one of the malformed fingers, spinning it in place, but her expression did not change.
"Miriam," he said, simple, low and soft. She had insisted he stay in her retinue, fixed Xavier with almost the same expression on her face as she focused on him in this moment, and yet for the entire time the Lord Inquisitor questioned her, she had not looked in Heinrix's direction. Not once.
He couldn't have been more proud of her. There was no indignation, no hesitation in her answers. She laid out her reasons for each of her decisions calmly, with the confidence of someone who believed she was in the right. And could he argue with that? Xavier certainly attempted it. It was not, as he had said, an interrogation, but it was everything it could be up to that.
He could not help the thoughts that chased him as Miriam answered question after question. What if Xavier had been dissatisfied with her answers? What if he had turned to his Master Interrogator to force compliance? He had assured Heinrix that he would not harm the Rogue Trader, but perhaps the intention had never been for Xavier to harm her.
He looked again, at the fingers on her hand, at the bright scarlet of the ring he had given her like a brand, a wound, a betrayal of trust he should never have thought to earn.
"You tried to warn me," she said, finally. Her voice was as expressionless as her face.
"I hope you understand why I could not do more."
She blinked, and he thought he saw anger flare across her features for a moment before she let out a sigh. "I do," she said.
"I… must apologise for… for…"
"For what?" she said, raising an eyebrow, and there was definitely anger there now. "For my poor judgement?"
"Miriam you cannot blame yourself for…"
"Cannot?" Her chin lifted, voice cutting the air like a knife. "You forget yourself, Master Interrogator. I am a Rogue Trader. And, it seems even Xavier Calcazar hesitates before telling me what I can and cannot do."
Hot shame coiled in his gut.
She took a step towards him, slow and deliberate, and her voice dropped to a low murmur. "But you want to apologise."
"I was overwhelmed. Caught up in the moment. I should not have…"
"I seem to recall I was the one who initiated things in that corridor."
"I…"
"So what is it exactly you want to apologise for? Pushing me up against the wall? Moaning into my mouth while you ran your hands over my arse?" Throne take him, he was growing hard, mouth dry, thinking about what they'd done. "Did you want to apologise for grinding your stiff cock against my thigh while I bit your lips and dug my fingers into your skin?"
Her turn of phrase was shocking, crude and accurate. He could still feel the fabric of her dress sliding against him. Hear the sound of her moans.
He should leave. There was no fixing this. He should contact Xavier and beg to be removed from her service. Emperor protect him, he should have better control but his cheeks were flushed and his breath was coming short and his feet were rooted to the floor.
"Do you want," she continued, "to say sorry, Miriam, for breathing my name as if you wanted nothing more than to hike up my dress and fuck me, right there, with my subjects less than five metres away discussing my inadequacies?"
"Miriam…" he choked out. "I…"
Her voice had dropped to almost a growl. "You could have done it, you know, rutted into me, quick and dirty against that wall. I was ready enough for it - wet and hot. Just from the taste of you, from the feel of your lips on mine. I was dripping Heinrix."
"By the Throne…"
"It would have been easy. You could have flicked open your trousers, pulled out your cock - oh it was thick and so very hard against me. One push and you could have been buried in me to the hilt. I might have cried out with the stretch of it. Perhaps you would have had to silence me with another kiss. Or put your hand over my mouth."
"Miriam. Please."
"A few quick thrusts, or maybe more than just a few, if I was lucky, and you could have spilled yourself inside my cunt. Can you imagine? It would have been warm and tight. I might even have come with you." A whine was trying to escape from his throat, his cock throbbed against his trousers and she was close enough to lean up and whisper in his ear. "You could have done all of that," she said, one hand trailing down the front of his jacket. "All of it. While your commanding officer was waiting to ambush me in my own fucking quarters."
He closed his eyes, willing himself still. She stayed where she was, that hand trailing lower, down towards his belt. She would be able to see, perfectly plainly, the effect her words were having on him. She confirmed it by letting out a low chuckle, then stepping back. He opened his eyes and let out a breath. She was watching him, her arms folded across her chest now, and the rage in her eyes had been replaced with sadness.
"I am sorry," he said.
"I hated that you stopped," she said. "I hated that you walked away. I thought we'd finally reached some sort of understanding, after months of this…" she waved a hand, looking frustrated. "Whatever the fuck this has been."
"I have… always have had a duty, Miriam."
"Yes. I'm beginning to see that."
"I should leave," he said. "I know that any further apologies will be inadequate… and…" he sucked in a breath. "Not what you want from me at this point."
"No," she said. "I do not need your apologies, Heinrix."
"Well then," he gave a bow and turned to leave.
"Heinrix?" her voice was smaller, somehow. He glanced back to find her again toying with the ring on her finger. "The fact that you did stop? That…" she took a breath, for the first time seeming vulnerable. "That means a great deal. If you hadn't… I would have sent you away with Calcazar."
"You would have been entirely justified, Lord Captain," he said.
She nodded, and turned away.