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Jake stumbles into the hotel room they’ve been using for the past couple days, anonymous and empty. The door swings shut with a bang too loud for so early in the morning around so many humans, but Jake really can't summon any care for something like that, not when the power of fresh blood is still coursing through his veins, his whole body singing and aching with satisfaction.
Ever since they first caved in, it was like the first step right over the edge of a cliff. Nothing was ever enough, now. The desire that had curdled in all of their chests for hundreds of years, screaming and clawing to escape, was positively insatiable, and now that they knew what it was like to get a taste, there was no more hope for self restraint.
Some of them still tried more than the others. Jay still had his moments of stubborness, doubts ingrained in him from too long truly believing that holding back was the right thing to do. Jake could feel it deep in his chest through the connection they had when they were like this, separate minds in one body.
But for all the protective control over himself he still strived for, Jay was just as content and giddy inside of Jake right now, basking in the aftertaste of blood running through their body.
Some of it is still smeared over the corners of Jake's mouth as he stumbles to his knees on the faded carpet, his breathing coming quicker from only remembering how it had felt to sink his fangs into that man's neck, the moment of fangs piercing through skin like biting into a perfectly ripe fruit, the addicting nectar coating his tongue the next moment.
It always made his entire body hot, almost like basking in the open sun again, another feeling he thought he would never have again until he finally gave in. To the voice that stands in front of him as he raises his head, the familiar monster standing shrouded in the dark room, solemn and still with bright eyes that seem to disappear into endless nothingness and reflect all of Jake back on himself at the same time.
He laughs, reckless and giddy, dragging his eyes over the familiar sight.
It came from within him, he knows. Not like how Jay and the others can nest within him, but a solid entity nonetheless, one that lived inside him for so long that it crawled itself out of his chest and formed right in front of him, as grotesque as the way it had felt when contained inside.
Now that it's out, now that Jake has listened to its persistent voice, it doesn't seem too bad, really. How could this have been the thing they were fighting tooth and nail to deny all these years when it felt so fucking good to give in?
He drags his fingers over the corner of his mouth, collecting the spray of drying blood and sliding them into his mouth. His eyes roll back as his tongue curls hungrily around his own fingers, sucking at every drop of the lingering taste. His head pounds. His skin feels tight and warm all over, like he's going to burst at the seams if he doesn't do something about it.
He needs something more.
Once his deepest desire was fulfilled, everything else burst forth as well. It's not just blood he craves now, and the others are out working on bringing their next plan into fruition.
Jake's eyes flicker up to the apparition that has followed him for years. He slides his fingers out of his mouth, dripping with thick saliva.
He crawls forward, bit by bit.
Jay stirs within him, paying close attention to what's happening again, a question rising within him. He doesn't see the monster in the same persistent, solid way Jake does, but when he's in control, but he knows it's there. He always feels what Jake feels, and no matter how much they push and pull, at the end of the day, he always gives in to him.
The thing passively stands tall and imposing, and the fluid nature of its eyes means it could be looking directly at Jake, through him, or unseeing of anything except maybe the place it was born from, the curling mess of black longing and want packed into Jake's body.
Sometimes, it feels like the monster serves to mock him, to remind him of what he can never truly escape, of the ugliness that will always live inside of him. But it’s also brought him a priceless realization. The ache in his teeth, the buzz in his body, the heat building in his stomach all tell him that despite the hollowness they've felt over the years and the lack of humanity, he is still alive in every way that matters. And those things will never die.
Jake is grateful now as he kneels in front of the thing, feeling truly like the base creature he always has been and should have never been afraid of being, his head tilting back.
It knows what he wants, because it is what he wants.
He inhales sharply at the feeling of those long black fingers brushing against the skin of his neck, pinpricks of pain merging with the anticipation crackling across his skin, heat gathering so tight in his stomach it almost makes him nauseous, his erection straining against the front of his pants.
The touch feels so real, because it is, this creature the very embodiment of the deepest parts of his brain. The long, spindly things reach all the way around his throat and simply rest there in a rough grip before they start to apply pressure, slowly, bit by bit.
He can survive without breathing, but the instinct still hasn't worn out of his body over hundreds of years just like the guilt hadn’t. His breath comes quick and panicked as instinctual fear and restriction overtakes him, like he's finally being crushed under the weight of his own want, enveloped and taken away by it in every sense, until there's nothing left in his body but the helpless chase of it even if it risks his life.
So the pressure doesn’t let up. That feeling of his phantom life fluttering like a frightened bird in the cage of his chest only increases, until he's dizzy and shaking like a leaf. When he finally gives in and slides a hand down into his pants, he chokes and sends the rest of the air out of his lungs, squirming against the grip pinning him into place, every slight brush of his hand against his skin feeling like fire licking across it. He desperately bucks his hips up when he finally fully wraps a hand around himself, already dripping enough to easily slick the way.
As usual, when Jake crosses the line first, Jay follows right behind him. Jake happily rescinds control of their body to him, drinking up the complete shock that overcomes him when he feels what it's like being in the front seat. his brow furrowing with tension as he stoically tries and fails to weather the painful addicting pleasure. It’s not long at all before he crumbles into pieces, giving in nearly as good as the blood on their tongue had been.
Jake keeps control of just his hand, working it over him until Jay’s nearly sobbing and begging him and the uncompromising monster above them for mercy.
Everything culminates in one beautiful moment, their shared pain with humanity and the hedonistic release that feels so bright it would make a lifetime of it worth it.
Jay slumps to the side, leaving them in a pathetic heap on the ground. Jake blinks through his eyes and sees nothing in front of them, their desire dissipated and satisfied for now.
It’ll come back, it always does.