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When Batman first started fighting crime on the streets of Gotham, on occasion, certain morally gray individuals would blame their actions or the actions of others on Batman.
It seems like that tendency does not just extend to morally questionable adults.
“Batman did it!” The small child insists when the police ask who knocked out the kidnappers with their own electrocution equipment.
“Sorry kid.” Batman growls. “I did no such thing.” The tiny kid crossed his pudgy little arms and huffed. “Did too. I saw it.” The kid replies petulantly.
“Not my style.” Batman replies, crouching down to get eye to eye with the fascinating child. Bruce should see if the tyke has parents.
“You seem pretty unbothered for a child who was just kidnapped.” One of the cops says pointedly. Bruce wraps his cape to slip around the boy.
“Not my first time getting kidnapped.” The boy shrugs nonchalantly. Bruce frowns. He does not like that. “How many times have you been kidnapped?” Batman asks gently.
The boy looks up to him curiously. “This month?” He asks.
Bruce holds back the very persistent instinct to pick the child up and never let him go.
The cops all stop and stare at the kid who frowns and starts sniffling. Oh. Oh no. The boy is going to cry. Bruce opens his arms to offer the child a hug and he latches on like a koala.
After a moment the officers take a few steps away, letting the boy cry himself out. He’s murmuring something so Bruce tilts his head down to hear his soft voice better through the thick rubber cowl. The boy inches his head up, tucking it near Bruce’s ear.
“I know who you are, Bruce Wayne.” The kid threatens. “We do this my way or you get burned.”
Bruce should be mad, defensive, angry that someone is threatening his family. Instead, he finds himself delighted by the far too small kid cradled in his arms threatening to expose his secret.
Batman does not respond verbally, just a short sharp nod.
“Batman is gonna take me home.” The kid announces. There’s a confused mumbling amongst the assembled emergency personnel. “That…is correct.” Bruce bites out. What is this kid planning? Bruce is both interested and deeply concerned.
“Don’t worry. He’s gonna take me to my nanny’s place.” The boy eases out of Batman’s arms and stands to face the various other adults present. His stance is evocative of a presenter in a corporate boardroom.
“She normally takes quite good care of me. Her boyfriend broke her phone so I wasn’t able to give you her new number. Or, ex-boyfriend, I should say.” The boy then gives the perfect gala laugh like ‘isn’t that sad and aren’t we glad that we’re too rich to worry about something so silly!’. The others are unsettled. But Bruce is charmed.
What an odd little child. He’ll fit right in! There is the trouble of the nanny. But Bruce can probably get his lawyers to handle that. Or hire her himself to watch the boy if Alfred confirms she’s a fit caretaker. Something tells Bruce that the boy’s “normal” may not be considered typical.
“I’ll make sure the boy is returned safely.” Batman assures. The boy grabs Batman’s gloved hand and together, they walk to the batmobile. The boy grins as they approach, downright giddy.
“I’m gonna ride in the batmobile!” He exclaims. Batman opens the back door and belts the kid into the booster seat Bruce has kept on hand since Dick joined their little family.
“Where does your nanny live?” He asks. The boy shoots Batman a confused look.
“I don’t have one.” The boy says, baffled. “Oh?” Batman asks as he settles into the driver’s seat.
“Agent A, please prepare a bedroom. I’m bringing someone home.” Bruce says into the comm.
After receiving confirmation, Bruce drives back to the cave. The boy already knows who they are, there’s no harm done. Especially once the adoption papers go through.
The other three members of his family are waiting in the cave when they arrive. Dominos on, per protocol. The boy was happily chatty on the ride back. Bruce learned many things. Their newest family member is named Tim. He has no nanny. He’s six, although he appears very small for his age. Tim is allergic to shrimp and hates the taste of grape candy. His favorite color is red. Tim also knows that Bruce is Batman, Dick is Nightwing, and Jason is Robin. Tim also theorized about the team having a man in the chair helping coordinate responses but wasn’t sure if that was ‘Mr. Pennyworth’ or an unknown party. Gosh, their son is so smart! He’ll be a great addition to their little family.
Tim hides under Batman’s cape, clutching his leg. “It’s alright Tim.” Bruce urges. Tim let’s himself be picked up and perched on Batman’s hip. “Tim, this is my family. Everyone, this is Tim.” Bruce explains. Jason peers at Tim. Dick just huffs and mumbles “dear god another one.” Alfred, to his credit, gives Tim a small wave. Tim waves back shyly.
“You brought home a baby?” Jason asks hesitantly.
“I am not a baby! I’m six!” Tim protests. His little face is all scrunched up and red in anger.
“What did the kid do?” Dick asks, sighing.
“He electrocuted eight grown men who kidnapped him.” Bruce answers at the same time Tim says “Nothing!” Tim harrumphs and crosses his arms petulantly. Dick, Jason, and Alfred all widen their eyes in surprise. Bruce just chuckles and walks Tim over to the medbay.
“I want Agent A to check you over, alright?”
Tim whines. “But the medics already did that! I’m fine! I want Dick to teach me how to throw a batarang!” The boys go ballistic. But Alfred’s lips twitch into a small smile. He checks Tim for any injuries while Bruce goes to talk to his other sons.
“Tim knows. He figured it out. No idea how or when. I couldn’t let him just be out in Gotham without any adult supervision.” Bruce explains.
“You’ve got a mini-rogue in training.” Jason protests.
“His parents hung up on the ransom demand.” Bruce whispers so Tim doesn’t overhear.
“So he’s basically ours now?” Dick asks tiredly. Bruce nods. Jason sighs. “Guess I’ll go get to know my new baby brother.” He grumbles and walks over.
“You gotta start calling ahead.” Dick says, shaking his head.
“I told Alfred to prepare a room!” Bruce defends.
“That could mean anything!” Comes Dick’s exasperated retort.
Dick has a point. Bruce will not admit it aloud. But he does have a point. Jason is already sitting next to Tim on the medical cot. They seem to be getting along well. Dick has gone over and introduced himself which causes a starstruck Tim to literally jump up and down.
When it’s time to turn in for the night, and bring their boys upstairs, Bruce goes with them. He tucks Tim into his new bed, across the hall from Dick and Jason’s rooms, right smack dab in the middle of the family wing. “So, Tim, did everything go according to plan?” Bruce checks in. Tim yawns.
“It went even better than I thought it would. Today has been awesome!” Tim replies. Bruce chuckles and smooths back Tim’s hair from his forehead, placing a quick kiss.
“Goodnight, son. Sleep well.”