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“ get in the wheelchair. “
kim dokja’s nodding off once again in his hospital bed when yoo joonghyuk barges in, wheelchair in hand. his signature black coat flutters lightly, paired with a grey turtleneck shirt and black, ironed long pants.
“ what for? i don’t have any appointments today. “ kim dokja questions, rubbing off the sleepiness from his eyes. he can hear yoo sangah's inner voice nagging at him in the distance of his mind to stop that or wrinkles will form.
after waking up from being in a vegetative to comatose state, he was unfortunately tied up to his bed. the only time he ever got to escape was when he went to the bathroom, or when he had to go for his physiotherapy sessions. although he would love to go outside, away from the suffocating smell of sterile chemicals and the faint beeping of heart monitors, he never said anything. he was already grateful to be back with everyone again and away from the subway, that was already enough.
“ we’re going out. “ yoo joonghyuk says, hands firmly on the wheelchair handles like he's telling him to hurry up with his decision. did his [Sage's Eye] still work or something?
“ i thought i’m technically not allowed to? lee seolhwa never mentioned if i was allowed to or not. “ the mention of the snow haired doctor's name earns kim dokja a glare.
“ did she explicitly say that you weren’t allowed to? “ kim dokja shakes his head in retaliation. “ then we’re going. get in the wheelchair. “
should he be annoying and drag this out, or just agree to it? going out sounds perfect, he could really get some fresh air. he just didn't expect yoo joonghyuk of all people to be the one questioning him. but considering how much he has seen yoo joonghyuk change over time, he can't say he isn't proud of this little surprise. well, at the same time, this was the same guy who had a mission to deliver multiple manuscripts of a novel he read to different world lines. just for him.
“ i didn’t think you were one to go against doctor’s orders. “
“ and she never said you weren’t allowed to go outside. “ he retaliates, his eyebrows furrow deeper. just how deep can they go…?
“ aren’t you afraid she would get mad? “
yoo joonghyuk's about to open his mouth to argue back again, but pauses and quickly clamps his mouth shut to think it through. kim dokja has to hold himself back from snorting. “ …if you’re worried, then we can just stay around the hospital grounds. as long as you’re out of this damn room. “
fair enough. his right hand grabs at the safety bars to the side to hoist himself to an upright position, when a warm embrace envelops his lower back. before he knows it, an arm smoothly slides under his knees and-
he's being carried by yoo joonghyuk. kim dokja doesn't know whether to laugh or cry about this.
" you don't have to go out of your way to carry me… i'm sure i can get up by myself better now. " and it's half true, if you count gripping a handle bar like your life depends on it while your knees shake and threaten to give out looking constipated. he's getting better. sort of.
" don't say unnecessary things. " yoo joonghyuk grunts, and he's now in the comfy wheelchair, wheeled out of his room with a steady pace. kim dokja really hoped the lighting wouldn't show the reddening on his cheeks too easily.
as they finally pass through the glass sliding doors and into the hospital's backyard, kim dokja takes a deep inhale and absorbs in the new scenery.
in his room, there are huge glass panelled windows. unfortunately, that meant ugly looking high rise buildings obstructing his view from anything else. even trying to crane his head wouldn't give him anything new to see. here however, is different. the pathways are shaped with low bushes that connect to different parts of the backyard. it networks to different facilities, including a children's playground, a small fitness area and a beautiful patio under another hospital building. it almost looked like a house backyard.
seoul has really changed.
yoo joonghyuk pauses when they reach the start of the pathway and waits quietly. he takes this as his cue to request. " can we go to the playground? " the former wordlessly does as told, wheelchair moving at a smooth pace. no snarky remarks, no sighs, nothing.
with a closer look, the playground looks like your ordinary neighbourhood playground. there's a few slides here and there, monkey bars, and a sandpit. but what really catches his eyes are the swings. there's seats enough for 2 people, and an additional swing for babies. he's always wanted to get on one of those.
a gentle breeze dances along the rows of trees that surround the playground, as they sway along with it. the swing seat at the left swings back and forth lightly, faint creaking sounds following years of abandonment. the other stays completely still. the sky is dark now, as yoo joonghyuk came at a later time. there are specks of little stars that litter the sky, and if you squint hard enough, there's one particular star that shines brighter than the rest.
yoo joonghyuk parks them near the sandbox pit, hands still gripping the wheelchair handles, never leaving them. it makes kim dokja feel assured. he will be by his side now. he's not alone anymore, alone in that dreaded subway cabin.
" you know, i use to wish i could play on the swings. " kim dokja starts, staring at the swing set. the swing at the right had started to move along with the other, both going back and forth in tandem. like equals. " i didn't really mix well with the kids in the playground, and my mother wasn't there to accompany me. i couldn't even swing myself, my little legs were too short. " he lets out a huff, feeling rather embarrassed. he doesn't even know why he's bringing this up. was this the nostalgia? or something more?
a beat follows as yoo joonghyuk quietly listens to his telling. he lets out a grunt, followed by a soft " would you like to get on the swing? "
kim dokja nods. the wheelchair moves with a start and he almost jolts out of his seat, but a firm hand lays on his shoulder, gently pulling him back to the confines of the soft back cushion. he's wheeled to the swing set, before yoo joonghyuk stops and carries him to the swing again like its light work.
the ground crunches as yoo joonghyuk steps aside, and he's about to ask him where he's going when he feels his feet lift off the ground. just slightly.
yoo joonghyuk is pushing him on the swing.
he feels his lips curl into a small smile, hands feeling at the chains of the swing to hold for safety. the next push is stronger, higher. not too high, but high enough where his feet fly around a third of the slide in front of him. the contact of skin and fabric behind his back is warm and firm, grounding and secure. suddenly kim dokja feels 9 again, sitting on a swing.
except this time, he isn't sitting there and using his body weight to try and move like a fool. now, someone is there to push him. stay behind him at his most vulnerable and keep him safe, watch his back. kim dokja can't help the way his face scrunches a little, as lone tears roll down his cheeks like little baby stars. if yoo joonghyuk notices, he doesn't make a comment, and just keeps pushing him.
they go for a few more pushes, until kim dokja reluctantly tells him it's enough. yoo joonghyuk stops and sits on the swing next to him, and they sit side to side and gaze the stars. they haven't talked much this time. yoo joonghyuk doesn't often converse with him much during his visits, and prefers to watch him quietly. but kim dokja already knows what yoo joonghyuk is trying to convey to him. he will be there for him. everyone is here for him now. away is the suffocating subway cabin, the light rays that cast upon his young face that blinds his eyes, or the uncomfortable plastic chairs that hurts his back.
now, he's surrounded by warmth and comfort. he doesn't have to be alone anymore, doesn't have to be selfish and has to be selfless to make up for it. maybe his new normals will be getting coffee with han sooyoung and bickering about, or gossiping with yoo sangah and jung heewon about work, or helping the kids with their homework. and being with yoo joonghyuk. and living in a big house with everyone.
when he's brought back to his hospital room and is safely tucked into bed, the subway doesn't haunt him that much, and he sleeps feeling a little lighter. with a smile.