Chapter Text
Sherlock woke up to the sound of a closing door. He squinted into the bright morning light and felt a headache starting behind his eyes. Why hadn’t he closed the curtains damn it!
Something was not the way it should be and thinking of it, he had no idea how he ended up in bed last night, all he could remember was being at Scotland Yards New Year ‘s Eve Party. He tried to recollect last nights events. The bed next to him was still warm, as if somebody had been lying there just until now and he recalled hearing the door close. Now he noticed that he was naked.
What happened last night? All the evidence suggested that he had spent the night with someone. But that couldn’t be it, right? As he had told John once, he considered himself married to his work. It was true. Even tough he had felt attraction to other men (very few times) in his life, he had never acted on it. Sentiment and emotions were fore other people, Mycroft said, they would only get in the way.
He lifted himself up to take in his surroundings: His clothes were spread all over the flor, his purple shirt at the end of his bed. Maybe there was a perfectly normal explanation… He just needed to figure it out! But as he thought of one explanation more ridiculous than the other, searching his mind palace for information, other memories came to his dizzied mind.
Hurried hands on him, trying to unbutton his shirt… hot kisses trailing down his bare skin… blue eyes locking with his, Sherlock’s hands in blond hairs. Eyes and hair too familiar. Could it be possible? He had lost count of the times John had insisted on not being gay. (Well, he hadn’t, but every ordinary person would have lost count!)
But then again, they had a lot of alcohol at the party and if drunk Sherlock could forget his married to his work attitude, surely drunk John could forget his heterosexuality? He now remembered getting into a cab with John, after the party. Deciding that he couldn’t obtain more information from his current position, he got out of bed.
***
When he came out of the bedroom wearing his blue Dressing gown, Sherlock found Mrs. Hudson putting down a tea tray in the sitting room. „Well, you and John had fun yesterday at the party“, she said with a wide smile on her face that could not be mistaken. „Shut up Mrs. Hudson, did you see him today?“, he couldn’t stop himself to ask. Where was John, why did he leaf Sherlock without a word? Was he ashamed? Would he even want to stay at backer street? And how should Sherlock behave now around John? Should he bring up the matter? Thankfully Mrs. Hudson stoped his Train of thoughts „He already left for work.“
Yes, he had mentioned that he needed to work today. He insisted on his job as a doctor even tough Sherlock did point out it wasn’t that convenient for cases if John was engaged elsewhere. But today, he decided, it was rather convenient. With John gone he had time to think about the situation…
After taking something against his headache and a glass of water his mind felt clear enough to contemplate last nights events. How should he proceed now? What did he want? He had never considered having sex with anyone, never thought that he would. Yet here he was and from what he could remember it had been rather good. But that didn’t mean he wanted to repeat it, right? He felt a warmth gathering in his stomach when he thought of it…
John was his only friend, and he certainly didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Sherlock was really no expert when it came to human relationships, but even he knew this could end things between them.
He had no idea how John felt after all this. He kept telling everyone he wasn’t gay and how he and Sherlock weren’t a couple. Sherlock would never admit it, but it always stung when he protested against Sherlock being John's boyfriend. Would John just deny this night had ever token Place? Go on, pretending nothing had ever happened? Or tell him it had been a big mistake? Ask Sherlock to forget it? What if Sherlock did not want to forget? He wasn’t sure.
How small was the chance that John would be cool with it? Maybe even want a romantic relationship with Sherlock? That wasn’t going to happen! Who would want to be with Sherlock? Hardly anyone wanted to be his friend!
Sherlock sighted and got out of his chair to pace nervously through the room. With no case to occupy his mind and his last experiment being a complete disappointment, he had nothing to do but to overthink their situation. To give at least his body something to do, he started cleaning the remains of said experiment. Tiding up couldn’t hurt, John always complained about the mess.
For a short time, he was distracted, planning his next experiment… Tomorrow he would get some body parts at Barts. Just don’t put them in Johns Food.
And he was back to John. John would say it was all a mistake. He would be polite and distant and Sherlock, hurt, would just be completely insuferable, like he always was when he needed to distance himself from people's reaction. Eventually John would grow tired of it and move out. He would marry a lovely girl and live his happily ever after and Sherlock would be left alone without a single friend. Well at least he wouldn’t die a virgin, he thought bitterly.
Sherlock felt the urge to shoot something, but John had only found a new „secret“ place for his gun and he wouldn’t exactly be pleased that Sherlock had figured it out already. Besides he disapproved of him shooting the wall and perhaps it would be better to not upset John. He grabbed his violin and started playing an angry tune. Maybe he could annoy the neighbours!
***
John groaned. He was tired and had a hangover from the party and just wanted to sleep. No matter how much he tried he still saw the scenery from this morning. Sherlock snuggled up against him locking beautiful in the golden morning light. John had woken up to too often to similar arrangements to not know what had happened even if he didn’t remember any of it. He had never woken up next to a man tough.
Sighting he buzzed in the next patient. A lot of people had too much to drink last night or weren‘t careful with the firework. God! Why were people so stupid? Sure, accidents could always happen but at least a bit of common sense whit explosives?
Normally, John loved his job, being able to help people, but right now he hated everyone and everything! What was he to do about Sherlock? Until last night he didn’t even think Sherlock would want to indulge in such activities. And he had certainly not thought that John would do anything like that whit another man.
Thinking back to last night, he couldn’t deny that he had enjoyed it. But he was not gay! He still liked girls, and he had never felt attracted to men! He had been drunk. People did strange things all the time when they were drunk. This did not mean anything! He did feel nothing but friendship for Sherlock! Right?
John felt as if his day would never end and, in the meantime, hopped it never would. He dreaded his next encounter with Sherlock, fearing how he would react. Sherlock really was unpredictable and when emotions were involved very clumsy. Who knew what would await him at 221B?
He decided to walk back to Baker Street to have more time before he had to deal with Sherlock. After half the way he coursed himself for his decision. He was only getting more nervous with each minute.
„Look Sherlock“ he said, finally back home, while entering their flat.