Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Our story starts in June 2024.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you - do you remember Mr Cowell, the Art teacher?" you asked, as you stood beside Charlie slicing cucumbers for the salad. "Yeah, what about him?" asked Charlie. "He sent me a DM on Instagram" you reply, chuckling at Charlie's wide eyes.

"Jesus christ, if you're about to tell me our old teacher sent you a dirty message please save me the experience" he cried. "No! No, he was really sweet actually. He said his kids were watching some of my songs on YouTube and that he recognised me. Said he was really proud, of the both of us" you said, smiling at Charlie. Though you were cousins, you grew up much more like siblings with Charlie - having been born only three months apart. With his pretty fast rise to fame in Stranger Things, and your blossoming music career, it was rare you had time to see each other.

So when Charlie decided to throw a little get-together in the garden of his London home, you were delighted that you were free and able to help him get set up. "That's sweet, but clearly he doesn't remember how much of a shit I was" he laughed, as he carried the freshly prepared salad to the larger-than-necessary fridge. The two of you carried on chatting, bickering and finishing up the preparations for the guests who were imminent.

"Who's coming anyway?" you asked, as you both finally relaxed on a set of lawn chairs, the summer sun sinking in to the skin on your shoulders and legs, exposed by a sun dress in a rare departure from your usual t-shirt and jeans combination. "Uh, Nat is in a cab from the airport now, and she's brining Joe. They had to stay back to film some last little bits so I said he should come along too". You'd heard a lot about Joe. Of course you knew who he was, it wasn't like you hadn't seen Stranger Things, Free Guy or whatever else he'd been in. Charlie spoke highly of him, and they spent a lot of time together - especially when he was over in the US. Somehow though, you'd never managed to be introduced to each other.

Charlie reeled off a handful of other names, all of which were shared friends who you'd also not seen for what felt like a lifetime. "Well it's a good job we've prepared enough food to feed a football team, huh?" you chuckle, closing your eyes to enjoy a few final moments of quiet in Charlie's garden.

**********************************

As Charlie greeted guests at the door, you were primed at the kitchen counter to pour them a drink - a job he'd assigned to you without giving you much of a choice. A handful of friends arrived first, who greeted you warmly. You supplied them with the poison of their choice, and showed them out to the garden. A true hostess, even if it wasn't your house.

The last to arrive were Charlie's girlfriend and co-star Natalia, and Joe. You heard Charlie welcome them in and help with their luggage, as they'd come straight off the flight. You checked your reflection in the shiny surface of the toaster, giving your hair a finger comb. Why? You weren't quite sure. You'd met Nat plenty of times. And Joe.. well it never hurts to make a good first impression.

As soon as she saw you, Natalia ran over to embrace you. "Hey! How are you?!" she asked, helping herself to a drink when she finally released you. "I'm good! I'm fresh off a tour so I'm really happy to be in the same place for a little while. I'm here for a few weeks then heading back over to Leeds to stay with my parents for a while. How are you? How was everything, how long are you finished for? Char told me you're not wrapped yet, right?" you asked.

"I'm good, we're having a little filming break - they're working round a couple other people's schedules, so we pick back up in a couple months" she said. With that, Charlie and Joe finally entered the kitchen. Charlie gave you a formal introduction, and Joe greeted you with a smile and a hug. "It's nice to finally meet you, feel like I'm meeting a celebrity or something. I mean, yeah I am I mean your music is doing amazing, but uh.. you know what I mean" he said, dragging a hand through his hair as he stumbled over his words. "It's fine, I know what you mean. Can I get you a drink?" you ask, choosing to let him off the hook - you didn't know him well enough to give him shit just yet.

"Oh yeah that'd be great, you got a beer?" he asked. "Sure, do you want an American beer or something a little less like piss?" you asked. Okay, maybe you could give him a little shit. Thankfully, Joe took it with good humour, and accepted the ice cold bottle of Czech lager you handed him. Finally, the guest list had arrived, and everyone was scattered around the garden. Charlie roped in a couple of other friends to help set up the food you'd both prepared, giving you a break and the opportunity to drink your own beer.

"Hey uh, I'm sorry if I came off like a jerk just now. I'm actually really into your music and I told myself not to come off as a creepy fan or something and.. kinda had the opposite effect" he said, cringing slightly as he sat beside you. "Really? That's really nice to hear, and I guess I can let it slip that since Char played me some of your music it's been one of my most played on Spotify" you admit, flashing him a smile to assure him things were cool. "Oh, thanks! I'm desperate to record something again. I was gonna try wait until we'd wrapped but I think I might have to get something done" he said, finally easing into himself. It was sweet to see the way he flustered, but you were always happier when people around you felt at ease.

"Well, if you want some studio space just let me know. I've got a couple of friends I can pull favours from while you're over here. How long are you in London anyway?" you ask. "Honestly? I don't know. Charlie said I can stay here as long as I want, and I don't have much else I need to do. I was gonna head over to Chicago to try record something, but if I can get some studio space over here that might be nice" he said, giving you an appreciative smile.

"Just let me know, you can borrow the band any time - I just keep them in a cupboard under the stairs when I'm not using them" you chuckle. He shares your laugh, and your heart does an involuntary flutter as his soft looking lips stretch across his face.

'Jesus, calm down. You're an adult not a horny teen, get it together' you think to yourself, as you turn your head from him to look up at a pair of magpies hopping across the roof. Anything to quell the impending blush threatening to tinge your cheeks.

"It really is nice to meet you though. Charlie talks about you a lot" said Joe. "Oh yeah? How much trouble is he in, and how many of my secrets do you know?" you ask him with a raised eyebrow. "No, no nothing like that, I swear. I'm really close to my sisters too, I talk about mine too. Took me a couple years to actually find out you were cousins actually!" he said, tracing a bead of condensation along the neck of his beer bottle.

"Yeah, a lot of people don't realise. My parents had a lot on their plates so I spent a lot of time with Charlie and Levi growing up. How many sisters do you have?" you ask. "Four, I'm the only son actually so I guess I had no choice but.. yeah my sisters are great. Protective, and annoying as hell sometimes but I wouldn't be the man I am today without 'em" said Joe.

"Protective, huh? They been known to scare away girlfriends or something?" you ask. "Uh, well sometimes they don't even need to get that far" he said, a tinge of sadness to his voice. "Oh, oh shit I'm sorry. Bad break up?" you ask. "It was for the best but yeah, had kinda a rough year last year. It's been almost a year now though and I'm doing fine, but my sisters? Yeah, they're still thirsty for blood" he chuckled. "Sorry, I put my foot in it there. Still, I'm glad you're doing okay. If it makes you feel any better, I also had a 2023 break up and Charlie still asks me if he can go fuck him up. I'd like to see him try, but I prefer my own petty revenge of getting my song played on his favourite radio stations" you say, giving Joe a wink.

"I couldn't think of anything better. Sounds like we're both better off for it. And we can drink to that" said Joe, tilting his bottle up to you. You tap yours against his and take a drink. You were beginning to see why Charlie and Joe were such good friends.

"Hey, are you coming into the city tomorrow? We were planning to take Nat to some of our favourite spots but now you're here, you're so welcome to come! Saves me being the third wheel" you ask, hoping you weren't coming across too bold. "That sounds great, where are we going?" he asked. "Well, London is far from my favourite city in the UK, but there's a few places we have in mind. We're gonna head to Spitalfields market, Leadenhall market, Muswell Hill - kinda all over" you tell him. "Sounds great, can't wait to see it. Charlie always tells me he'll take me to Leeds where you guys are from. And uh.. oh the other place where you lived.. Briddlesborough?" he asked. "Bridlington. They would loose their shit if they saw you there so we'd have to go when it's quiet but for sure you'll have to come up with us some time!" you say, hoping to glaze over the fact you'd just invited yourself along.

"Come get it!" shouted Charlie, having laid out the food to his satisfaction. Joe stood from the lounger, and without missing a beat, extended his hand out to you. You took it gratefully, and let him help you up - the movement a lot more graceful than it would've been left to your own devices. Especially in a dress. Joe's hand was soft, but his grip was firm and you couldn't help but notice a slight pop of his bicep as he pulled you up. "Thanks" you said, suddenly a little shy at the contact. "No problem. Charlie said you helped made the food, right?" he asked, letting go of your hand. Trying not to sigh at the loss of his touch, you shook yourself out of it and replied. "Well by made.. I helped chop the salad and made a few sandwiches - please lower your expectations" you laugh, leading the way back towards the kitchen. If you'd have turned to look behind you, you'd have noticed Joe pause, and watch you go, a soft smile on his face. 

*********************************

It was a couple of hours before you and Joe spoke again. You'd both been distracted by different conversations, sitting at opposite ends of the garden. It wasn't until, a couple of drinks in, a friend suggested playing games. "Come on, I brought trivia cards. Pair up, each time your team gets a question wrong you take a shot" they suggest, devilishly. "Oh, seriously? We're in our thirties I don't know how many shots I can handle any more" you complain. "You're only just thirty, surely there's still a shred of your twenties in you somewhere" they retorted, as shots of tequila, sambuca and something pink and creamy were poured in long lines. 

"Oh my god, did you come prepared with all this?!" you ask, equal measures horrified and impressed. "Sure did. Come on, it's summer, it's a Saturday - not that it means a whole lot to you performer types, and we haven't all been together for a long time. Just answer correctly and you don't have to drink!" was the response. You roll your eyes, though the idea of a fun drinking game appeals. It hadn't been something you'd done for a long time.

As partners were chosen, you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I also don't know how many shots I can do and I'm even older than you are. Wanna team up?" asked Joe, a sheepish smile on his face. "I would love to, how are you at Trivia?" you ask, the two of you moving over to share a loveseat beside Charlie and Natalia. "Well, when I was playing drinking games with my friends, we were a little less high brow. More spin the bottle territory. But I didn't do so bad in school, and I love watching Jeopardy on the TV. What about you?" he asked. "Hmm, knowing my friends we'll stray from the question cards pretty quickly and things will take a turn so don't think us too high brow just yet. But actually, I'm pretty good. When I'm on tour, me and the band always watch quiz shows. We can't watch anything with a storyline 'cause someone's always out, or asleep or still fucking around with equipment. So we've gotten pretty good" you say, reaching into a cooler at your feet for fresh beers for the two of you. 

Teams set, it was time to put your knowledge to the test. "Each card has three questions, an easy, a medium and a hard" said the self-appointed quiz master. "If you get the easy one wrong, you drink the tequila shot. If you get the medium one wrong, it's the sambuca, and the hard one wrong - the Tequila Rose". Hmm, so that's what the pink stuff was. "Thank god, I thought your friend was trying to make us shot Pepto-Bismol" whispered Joe, the two of you sniggering to yourselves. "Your team will be asked all three questions, and we will take your first answer. As soon as a wrong answer is given, and a shot is taken - your turn ends and we move on. Any questions?" they ask. 

Rules understood, the game began. Charlie and Natalia went first, immediately getting their easy question wrong. A couple more pairs later, it was over to you and Joe. "Alright, your easy question - On which Beatles album does the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds appear?". Without missing a beat, the two of you answered at the exact same time: "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!". You looked at each other and smiled, pleased with the other for knowing the answer. "Correct. No tequila for you. Medium question - Who was the first woman to be awarded a Nobel prize?". This time, the answer wasn't immediate. You looked up and Joe and beckoned him closer with a nod of your head. "I think it's Marie Curie?" you whispered into his ear, noticing the way goose bumps ran up his arm as your hot breath fanned against his skin. "Yeah, I think you're right. Go for it" he said. You gave your answer, it was correct and you moved on to the final question of the round. 

"Right, hard one - but I think you got one of the two people here who might actually get the answer. Which US president was the first to be sworn in by his nickname?". Your mind didn't even go blank, you knew you never had the knowledge to blank out in the first place. You turn to the American man sitting beside you, in the hopes that he could save you from drinking something the colour of a Barbie dreamhouse. "Oh shit.. uh - Jimmy Carter?" he answered, unsure of himself. "Correct, you may keep your American citizenship". The two of you cheered, and without thinking, you wrapped your arms around him in a congratulatory hug. "Excellent teamwork partner" he grinned.

The trivia continued, with Charlie and Natalia doing surprisingly badly for two incredibly smart people. Even you and Joe had to take your fair share of shots - though the pink Tequila Rose shot was pleasantly smooth and tasty. Finally, as you knew it would - things descended into something a little more chaotic, and a lot less mature. "Alright, enough of the trivia questions. We're going rogue. You can ask any question you want - but you still gotta get it right to avoid the shot" slurred your quizmaster friend. "Fine, I'll ask first - Charlie: What is my middle name?" you ask him. "That's easy, but we appreciate you throwing us an easy one" said Natalia, slurring a little. Charlie on the other hand, was not looking so sure of himself. "Uh.. oh shit why have I forgotten this! Is it.. is it Marie?" he asked. "No!" you laughed, taking pleasure in passing them their drinks. "I knew you'd forget. I don't have one, you dummy!". 

"That's not fair, there was no answer to that question!" Charlie complained. "Yes there was! 'You have no middle name' is all you had to say man" defended Joe. "Oh, oh I see how it is. I knew if you two met you'd get on well and team up against me. I'll remember this.. and I will have my revenge" he threatened, throwing a bottle cap at you. A few questions later, you were diving into the world of 'when did this person lose their virginity?' and 'in which country did this person run naked through the streets?'. Finally, it was your turn. Charlie immediately swept in. "Alright, question for you two - when she watched season 4 of Stranger Things, who did Y/N accidentally send a thirsty text to me about?" he asked. 

Your eyes widened in rage. It was one of your more embarrassing moments. You'd been watching the newest episodes of the series. As was tradition, you'd text Charlie as the plot unfolded, asking him questions about filming, and congratulating him on his work. On this particular night, you were alone on your couch. Your asshole (now-ex) boyfriend had just stormed out of the apartment after argument 104 of the year, so you were a couple of glasses of red wine deep and watching the scenes of the Stranger Things characters walking through the woods of the upside down. Your immediate crush on the character of Eddie Munson was long since in bloom, but all of a sudden - your attention was drawn to Steve. 

You'd never thought of him in that way. Mainly because he wasn't just a character or an actor on screen. He was Charlie's friend. Charlie was all but your brother, and by extension, it felt like Joe was too. Perhaps it was the wine, the emotion or the fact that your ex hadn't given you an orgasm in weeks - but watching them both, roughed up, sweaty and ruggedly handsome had gotten your blood pumping. You'd meant to text your friend, but were too distracted by the TV screen to notice you'd selected the wrong chat. 

"Holy shit, just watching the new Stranger Things. You can put me between Eddie and Steve and I would guarantee a ride none of us would survive ;)" 

It was only when Charlie responded with a "??????" that you realised your mistake. A rushed apologetic voice note later, and you'd cleared up the confusion with Charlie, who was no doubt in stitches from your mishap. You'd made him promise to keep it to himself, something which up until now you assumed he had done. Of course, now by bringing it up - it was all out in the open. 

"What, you dirty texted your own brother?" asked one of your friends. "No! No, of course I didn't. I messaged the wrong person and my 'brother' was supposed to never speak of it again". It was all a bit of fun, but you were beginning to get genuinely irritated by what he'd done. You couldn't even look at Joe, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Oh Jesus, I cannot believe you Heaton. Just you fucking wait" you say, your head in your hands". "Hey, hey look it's fine - I imagine Nat already knows but I promise I won't say a word to whoever it is" Joe smiled, empathising with your situation. Oh, if only he knew. I guess he was about to. Suddenly, you remembered you had a way out. Leaning forward, you picked up a shot of tequila and knocked it back, the sting of your throat nothing compared to telling Joe that ever since you watched that season, you'd had a slow-burning crush on him. 

"Oh nice, that'll tell him!" laughed Natalia, digging her elbow into Charlie's ribs for you. "Yeah, really funny. I'm going to the bathroom to come up with an even better question for you" you said, marching towards the house. Footsteps followed you, but you waited until you were safely inside the kitchen to see who it was. "Did you really have to take it that far?" you asked a sheepish looking Charlie. "I know, I know I'm sorry - and I felt bad as soon as I saw your face. I guess I didn't think you'd care" he said. "Well, no I wouldn't if one of the people wasn't sat right next to me!" you argued back.  

"I know, and I really am sorry. Me and Nat were talking earlier and we said that the two of you looked like you were getting cosy and I thought it might be fun to see if you still had a thing for him and.. shit I really am sorry" he said, pulling you into his arms. Despite your annoyance, you hugged him back. He was, for all intents and purposes, your brother and you loved him deeply. "We're adults Char, if you want to know if I like one of your friends you can just ask. You don't have to sneak around and read my diary like we're still at school" you say, giving him a gentle kick as you parted. 

"Well, do you?" he asked. "Oh I said you can ask, I didn't say I'd tell you. Now go back outside, I genuinely still need the bathroom" you say, dashing upstairs before he could grill you further. Once safely tucked inside the bathroom, you sat down on the toilet and allowed the silence to soothe you. How did you feel about Joe? This person who'd always been a character, a celebrity, someone in Charlie's stories. Never before today, was he a real person. Yet here you were, finally meeting the silly little TV-character crush you'd been harbouring. Sure, he's hot. He seems kind and funny too. But you didn't have to fall in love with him. You could enjoy his company and get a new friend. A new friend sounded pretty good about now. 

Back outside, the questions had finally finished. The evening continued until the sun began to set. Drinks were drunk and Ubers were booked. "How are you getting back, do you live far?" asked Joe. "I'm jumping in an Uber. I'm not far at all, but I know Charlie would never let me walk and I can't say I want to in this sticky heat" you chuckled. "Well that's good. Are we still on for tomorrow?" he asked. "Of course, I'll come by in the morning and we'll all get the tube together. About 11:00?" you suggest. With that, your phone lit up to inform you that your Uber was outside. You said a quick goodbye to some of your friends, only giving Charlie and Nat a wave, seeing as you'd see them again pretty soon. "I'll walk you out" said Joe, a statement rather than a question. It wasn't far around the side of the house to the driveway, but you let him anyway. 

"It was really nice to meet you today" he said, as the car pulled up. "Yeah, it's been really nice. I can see why Charlie was scared to let us meet, but please can we continue to torture him when we're all together?" you ask. "Oh hell yeah. See you tomorrow, get home safe" he said, waving as you slide into the back of the car. It was only a couple of minutes until you were back at your house. It was one of the first things you bought once your music began to get big. The other members of the band bought cars, watches, holidays - and good for them. But all you wanted, was a cosy place to call yours during times like this, when you could leave the touring life behind for a while. In the quiet of the house, the gentle buzz from the booze hummed through your veins. You'd barely taken off your make-up and dress before you were drifting off to sleep.

*************************************************

The next morning, you walked over to Charlies. A strong coffee and a lot of water meant you weren't feeling too worse the wear from your drinks the night before. You pressed on the handle of the door, expecting it to be open. You hadn't text Charlie that morning, but he knew to expect you - and the two of you had an open door policy with your houses, as you had when you were kids. A little confused, you knocked. That was when Joe came to the door. "Hey! I'm glad you came, I didn't know if you still were and I don't have your number to ask" he said, as you stepped inside. "Why, where are Charlie and Nat?" you ask. 

"They are VERY hungover. Charlie poked his head into my door to tell me they weren't gonna be up until late afternoon and to go on without them. If that's alright with you? Cause if you wanna wait that's fine" he said. "They did get a lot of questions wrong last night. It's fine by me, as long as you don't mind?" you say, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'd love to, shall we go?" he asked. "Absolutely" you say, stepping out on to the driveway. "Charlie gave me a key, so let me lock up and we'll go. Where are we going first?" asked Joe, checking the lock was secure before walking beside you towards the tube station. 

"Well that depends, where have you been in London? I wanna take you somewhere new.." you say, optimistic that the day was about to be a fun, and interesting one with your new friend. 

Chapter Text

"My god, that was incredible!" said Joe, eyes practically rolling back in his head. "I told you! I can't believe you wanted to go to a Pret a Manger" you reply, chuckling as the two of you finished your coffee and brunch in one of your favourite cafes in North London. Being a regular, you knew that Joe wasn't going to get too much attention here. Despite it being in a pretty popular location, with a lot of houses - it was a hotspot for celebrities with a statue even above his. 

When you walked inside, you were ushered to a seat in the back corner of the orangery, bathing you both in a warm, natural light. Joe looked gorgeous. His hair the perfect combination of mess and style, perfectly matching his slim fitting tee and jeans. You felt flustered at being in such close proximity to him, periodically dabbing at your face with your napkin to make sure there was no food or coffee making you look like an animal. 

"Hey, I didn't know it was a chain! I just remember there being one beneath my hotel last time I was here, and I got a little obsessed. You're right though, this is way better" said Joe. As the waitress came over with the bill, both of you reached for your cards. "Hey uh, do you mind if I get this? I'm feeling a little guilty that your day with Charlie turned into a day with me and getting this will do something to make me feel less bad" he admitted. "What? Joe seriously, it's fine! I'm feeling a little guilty you were stuck with me and wanted to pay for the same reason" you laughed.

"Are you kidding? I'm getting a tour around new places in the city, with a beautiful tour guide. I'm happy to be here" he said. "I'm happy you came" you replied. 

Not wanting to keep the waitress hanging on much longer, you finally let Joe pay and the two of you began the steep uphill walk to your first stop. The day had turned out warm and gloriously sunny again, much to your chagrin as you tried to keep the sweat at bay. As you walked, the conversation flowed. You heard more about his family, and in turn told him stories of your latest tour. It was so easy to talk to Joe. Surprising, considering how much you were realising you were attracted to him. No matter how confident you could appear on stage, playing music - talking to hot guys had always been difficult for you. 

Yet there was something in the way you immediately felt at ease with each other that felt like you'd been friends for a lifetime. Sure, you'd both known a lot about each other through Charlie, but you reasoned there must be more to it than that, right? 

Finally you arrived, perching on a soft patch of grass outside Alexandra Palace. The view before you stretched across London, like something from a tourist shop postcard. "Quite a view, huh?" you asked Joe. "Yeah, stunning" he replied, though from the corner of your eye, it seemed he was facing you, more than the view. 

"I always used to come up here when my ex was being particularly asshole-ish. We lived pretty close, and I'd come over in all weathers when I needed to get out of the house. I've been coming here again recently, to reclaim it. To try and make it a place that doesn't remind me of him anymore. I'm sorry I don't know why I just said all that.." you blurted, realising you'd shared far more than you'd meant to. 

"Hey, don't apologise. Do.. do you want to talk about it?" he asked. You paused, thinking for a moment. "I don't know. It's not that I want to hide it or not talk about it, but I didn't bring it up because I wanted to. Does that make sense? Sorry, I have this really bad habit of just letting my internal monologue fall out of my mouth and I end up oversharing" you say, blushing as you continue to stare out at the view. 

"It's on your mind, it's normal to talk about it. Is this the guy you mentioned yesterday?" he asked. "Yeah. We were together a long time, but in love far less than that. He didn't want to let me go and I was too scared to leave" you say, picking at blades of grass by your feet. "Makes sense. But you managed to leave eventually, right?" he asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. I wish I'd have done it sooner, but in the end I realised I was spending more time out here, wrapped in a big coat reading or writing than I did in my flat because I didn't want to be there. It sounds so obvious, when I say it out loud" you say, your voice small. 

"Well yeah, but that's because you're saying it like it's simple. These things never are though, right? What was it, what finally made you go?" he asked. "Snow. Well, it was more than that. I'd been doing a couple of shows, and I just got home. I was tired and cold and just wanted to switch off for a while. I walked into the flat, put my bags down and before a 'welcome back', I got a 'the match is on, I'll be with you in a bit'. He wouldn't even look up from the TV to greet me. So I stayed in the kitchen and started making something to eat. Each time I rustled a packet, or clattered a plate - he'd sigh and stare at me. Never shouted, never hit me - just.. stared. Rolled his eyes. Huffed. It was those moods I would always come out here to avoid".

"So I poured the food I'd made into a plastic box, and got my coat on, put on my boots and went back out into the snow. That was it. That was the moment, when I realised I would rather freeze to death, eating pasta out of an old chinese food container in a foot of snow rather than be in the same room as my partner. It was like it clicked. I was like, 'oh.. yeah that makes sense'. So I left, went to a friends place and picked my stuff up the next day while he was at work" you say, finally daring to look at Joe, hoping that by pouring your heart out like that, you hadn't prematurely ended your day out. 

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe anyone would treat you like that! And hey, I'm proud of you for getting outta there. Are you okay?" he asked. You took a deep breath and turned to face him properly, smiling. "You know what? Yeah. I don't know why I told you all of that but I actually feel a lot better" you say, feeling a weight lift from your chest that you didn't even know was there. 

You lay back on the grass, enjoying the soft tickle of it at the nape of your neck. Joe followed suit, laying beside you and turning his head towards you. "The guy sounds like a prize asshole. What did he do for work?" he asked. "He was a journalist. Sports mainly. When I told him I'd collected my things and that we were over, he told me that he'd make sure his paper never gave us any good publicity ever again" you say. 

"Did he stick to his word?" asked Joe. "Nope. Turns out a pretty junior sports writer holds no stakes with the arts and entertainment section who gave the last album five stars" you laugh, grinning as Joe's unabashed laughter lit his face. "Your last album was great - they'd be crazy to let him try and change that" he said. "Thanks for listening. I know that wasn't really the tone we were going for today, but it felt nice to get it off my chest. You don't have to talk about yours if you don't want to but, you know I'm here if you did?" you offer. 

"I know. And there's not a whole lot to tell, really. We were together for a few years too, but it kinda became all about the public appearance. Like, anything we did - she'd spend half of her time creating the perfect shot for Instagram, and the rest of the time posting and chatting. I swear, her phone was an extension of her hand. Got to the point when even when we were spending time together, I felt lonely. Does that make me sound awful?" he asked.

"No, not at all. It takes more than someone's physical presence for them to be present, right?" you say. "Exactly! I kept trying to tell myself it was just my state of mind, that maybe I wasn't doing so good. But when we weren't together I felt like myself again. More than just her personal photographer. I swear I took the same shot in about 50 different locations" he sighed. 

"And you finally reached your breaking point too?" you asked. You turned to each other, and he nodded. A comfortable quiet fell upon you both, as you let the intimate conversation you'd had sink in. Your peace was disrupted when you heard a not so subtle, hushed conversation from a few feet away. "Do you think I can go and ask for a photo?" hissed the mysterious voice. You and Joe sat up, giving each other a wry smile. 

"Looks like you've been spotted. Do you wanna head somewhere else so you don't have to greet them?" you asked. "Nah, it's fine. It happens a lot, but I don't mind" he said, as the two strangers approached. You tilted your head up, and saw two girls a couple years younger than you. To your surprise, neither of them paid any mind to Joe, both of their eyes firmly on you. An even bigger surprise, was that one wore a t-shirt adorned with the cover of your first album. 

"I'm really sorry, but we're big fans do you mind if we get a picture with you?" asked one of the girls. You paused and stuttered briefly. Here you were, sat beside one of the hottest American stars of the moment, and you were the one being asked for a photograph? "Yeah, yeah sure. Hey it's nice to meet you" you say, standing up to get in frame for a selfie. 

Of course, it wasn't the first time you'd had this happen. But it wasn't as common as you'd assume it was for Joe. After the picture was taken, you chatted to the girls for a couple of minutes, enjoying hearing their stories about their favourite songs and shows. Once in a while, your eyes would wander down to Joe, who was looking up at you with a wide grin. Not a grin of mockery though, but more pride, affection even. It gave you a warm feeling in your stomach, one you hadn't felt for a long time. 

After the girls took their leave, you sat back down beside Joe. "I don't think you know just how big you are" he said, stating it as a fact. "That's because I'm not! I'm just.. enjoying people hearing my music. It's not like I'm about to headline Glastonbury" you say. "No, but you said it yourself, your songs are being played on the radio enough to get on the nerves of your ex-boyfriend. You've got people walking around in your merchandise, your music was being played in more than just my trailer on set for Stranger Things. You're doing amazing, you should enjoy that" he said, giving your arm a little nudge. 

"It's scary though, isn't it" you say, as a statement rather than a question. "Fucking terrifying, but it makes it so much easier when you're surrounded by people feeling the same" said Joe. 

*******************************

After touring Joe around a few more local sights, you began to make your way back to Charlie's. Your cheeks practically ached from the near constant grinning. Your heart was full, and flushed with feelings you were trying hard to ignore. As you jumped on a packed tube, you wound your way between the commuters and tourists to find a space for the two of you to stand. 

"Have you ever been on the subway in New York?" asked Joe. "No, I haven't actually. I've been a couple of times but it seemed so much scarier than the tube, so I stuck above ground"  you replied. "Honestly? I don't blame you. It's about as busy as this, but the tube smells distinctly less like piss" he chuckled. "I guess that's the reason why it always seemed so intimidating. Literally everything I've ever seen of the New York subway has been about the stench, the rats or the crazies" you say, clinging on to a pole as the rickety carriage turns. 

"Oh, I can guarantee everything you ever heard is true. It's kinda.. empowering though. When I first mastered using the subway on my own I felt like I wasn't a tourist any more. Does that sound weird? I was gonna ask if you felt the same with the underground here?" he asked. "I guess I did. Growing up in the north, I was kinda bread into hating London and being fearful of the tube. But when I began playing venues down here, I had to bite the bullet, and realised it was pretty easy. I guess someone needs to book me for a couple of gigs in New York sometime, then I might get the courage" you laugh. 

"I'll take you some time, always helps when you've got a guide" he said, smiling down at you. Your heart thrummed with joy at the idea of him wanting to spend time with you again. 

Suddenly, the carriage ground to a halt as the breaks screamed. The unexpected jolt made your grip on the pole fail, sending you hurtling backwards. Or it would have, if not for Joe's quick reflexes. His arms speedily wrapped around your waist, pulling you upright. As the train came to a stop, you were both jolted the other way, now falling into him - your bodies pressed flush against each other. You held him tight, only letting go when you were certain there would be no more sudden movements. He dropped one arm from your waist, but kept another there protectively. 

"Are you okay?" he asked. You nodded, looking around for any signs of why you might've stopped. Your eyes tried to peer through the window, but you were greeted with your own reflection against the pitch black tunnel. "Why did we stop so fast? Is everything okay?" he asked. "I don't know. Could be anything. Are you okay? Thanks for catching me" you say, giving a small appreciative smile. 

As if having heard his question, a distorted voice comes through the speakers on the carriage. "Ladies and Gentlemen can we please remind you not to lean heavily against the tube doors. This can trigger our safety mechanism and leads to delays. Thank you". The curt voice had a wave of relief wash over you. "Thank god. Just someone pressed up against the door" you sighed, catching your hand on a pole again as you set back off. 

The rest of the journey was quiet. Though the train began to empty bit by bit, Joe kept a hand pressed gently at the bottom of your back. Though the need wasn't there any more, you hoped and prayed he wouldn't move it. You enjoyed his warm touch, keeping you in close quarters. You dared a look up at him, and flushed as you caught his gaze. His eyes looked at you intently, a soft fondness in them that felt so earnest and real. It felt like he was looking into your soul, but not in an intrusive way. In a way that seemed right, as if you wanted him to see you. All of you. 

Your feet longed to flex you on to your toes, to close the gap between your faces and kiss him. But hesitation kept your soles firmly on the floor as your fingers itched to run through his hair. 

You wonder what could be going through his mind, as the two of you fail to break your gaze. You should feel scrutinised, uncomfortable even - but the sensation just wouldn't come. It was like you felt solace in being the one thing his eyes could see, like there was safety in his stare. Was your base attraction to him becoming something more? Could you really explore something with Charlie's friend? Would it get complicated?  

The announcement of your stop shook you from your reverie, finally prying your eyes from each other. The doors parted and the two of you stepped out on to the platform. The stale air stifling you for the first time. You walked briskly towards the exit, Joe by your side. When you were finally outside, you took a deep breath - filling your lungs with the clean(ish) air of suburban London. 

"Are you coming back to Charlie's place too?" asked Joe. "Oh, uh - yeah I think so. Penny's back from the dog-sitter's and I've missed her face" you say, relieved that there seemed to be no residual awkwardness from the tube. 

"You a dog person?" asked Joe. "Mm, if I had to pick I'd say I was more of a cat person. But the truth is I just love animals. I don't care what they are. What about you?" you ask him. "Oh, dogs for sure. I don't have anything against cats, but yeah I've always loved dogs a little more" he explains. Your idle chit-chat on animals leads you to Charlie's door. Joe moves his hand up to knock, but you barrel in front of him and open the unlocked door. "He does this to me all the time, we don't knock - not in our family" you explain, shuffling in and dropping to your knees to greet the four-pawed welcome party. 

Penny licks your face as you ruffle her fur, grateful to see your little friend. Natalia appears shortly after. "Hey, sorry we missed out - did you guys have fun?" she asked. "Yeah, it was great. How are you feeling?" asked Joe, as he knelt for his own Penny greeting. "Oh, so much better. Thanks for still taking him out" said Natalia. "You say that like he's a kid! Seriously, we had a great time" you said, looking on fondly as Joe fusses the dog. 

"We're just about to eat, you're welcome to stay if you want? Charlie's just out back gardening if you wanna say hi" asked Natalia. As much as you wanted to stay, to see Charlie and Nat as well as to spend more time with Joe, you reluctantly decline. "I've got some engineers at my place first thing in the morning to do some boiler repairs so I need to get back and clean. I'm pretty free over the next few weeks though, so you're all welcome to come around. Or I'll just come here, it'll be nice to be in the same place for once" you say. "Well let me just grab him before you go. He said he had something for you" said Natalia, before disappearing into the garden. 

Joe rose to his feet, the dog long gone after her favourite word (garden) was mentioned. "Sorry you can't stay, everything okay at your place?" he asked. "Oh yeah, just a boiler pressure thing - nothing too bad. Gives me the excuse to stay in for the day, maybe do some song writing before and after" you say. "I uh, I had a lot of fun today. Can, can we do something again? The two of us?" he asked, a nervous half smile on his face. "I'd like that. Here, pass me your phone" you ask, taking his device and calling your phone number. "Let me know when you have a free day, or want to do something. I had a really nice time with you" you tell him. Joe opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Charlie approaching. 

"Hey, before you go I completely forgot to give you this - it's from Gran" he said, passing you a small jewellery box. You took it and opened it, revealing a silver chain with a teardrop diamond pendant, surrounded by striking emeralds. "Why do you have this?" you ask, in curiosity more than accusation. "I landed in Manchester and drove up to see her before coming home. She's not doing too good, her memory's pretty bad, but she's been going through her stuff and gave me this. Well, gave it to me to give to you. Said she hadn't seen you for a while" he said, awkwardly. 

"Char, I went to see her two weeks ago, and the time before that it was only like a week before.." you begin to explain. "No I know, I know. She just didn't remember. You might want to go see her soon. I'll come with you if you want" said Charlie. You thanked him, hugged him tight and turned to leave, waving goodbye to the three of them. On the short walk home, you let your mind drift - thinking fondly of your Grandmother. She still lived up north, in the small cottage she'd always lived in. Her health had been deteriorating over recent months and the fact she was already trying to bestow gifts was making your heart ache. 

Your melancholy was interrupted by a short vibration of your phone, sitting idly in your hand. It was a WhatsApp message from an unknown number. Unknown at least until you opened it, and saw a familiar face in the icon.

Joe: Hey, that sounded rough. Are you okay? Thanks for today, again. J x

Despite everything else you were feeling, you couldn't help the creeping sense of warmth, and the smile gracing your lips. 

You: Family stuff, never easy. I'm okay, thanks for checking in. Today was great, enjoy dinner. If Charlie poisons you, I'll make sure he goes down for it x

As you let yourself in to your home, you suddenly feel lonesome. You'd never been someone uncomfortable with solitude, or your own company. But after a day spent in the warmth of Joe's company - you felt suddenly so alone. Rather than doing the cleaning you planned to do, you sat at the upright piano in the far corner of your living room, and began to play.

Chapter Text

"Hey, it's me. Can you come down and bring me the effects pedal you borrowed?" you ask Charlie, as he answers the phone. "Uh, yeah sure. Do you need it quick?" he asked. "Ideally, yeah. I'm writing and I've had some ideas I wanna bring to life" you tell him, irked that you're having to justify why you need your own gear back. "Okay, be there soon". 

It was twenty minutes later that your doorbell rang. "Why are you ringing the doorbell just come in.." you grumbled, as you were shaken from your concentration. As you opened the door, you were surprised to see Joe standing there. "Uh, surprise?" he offered, clearly reading the confusion on your face. "Hey! Uh, hey come in. Sorry I was expecting Charlie" you tell him, kicking your scattered shoes away from the front door. 

"Yeah, he's pretty busy so he asked me if I'd go. Gave me your address, I hope that's okay?" he asked, as he presented you a small tote bag with the effects pedal in question nestled inside. "Yeah of course that's okay. I'm sorry if I'd have known he was sending you I'd have got dressed or tidied or something" you ramble, as the two of you enter your living room. You try desperately to gather up sheets of music and hiding an unreasonable amount of half-drunk coffees. 

You wished you'd have known he was coming. You catch your reflection in the mirror above the piano, your damp hair falling around your shoulders, your vest top and pyjama shorts leaving very little to the imagination. You were just thankful you'd showered. "If you're busy I can just go?" said Joe. "No!" you said, a little too quickly. "No, please stay. It's nice to see you, I'm just sorry for the mess. I've been writing some music and completely reverted to being a total slob. It's nice to see you" you say, offering him a smile, in an effort to show him his presence was not unwelcome. 

"Yeah, you too. I was thinking of messaging you anyway to see if you wanted to go for a drink, but I guess you'd have been a bit busy?" he said, taking a seat at your piano, playing soft chords, a tune you didn't recognise. "Drinks would be nice. I'm just in the process of getting this stuff I've been working on recorded so it doesn't fly out my head. Wanna help me?" you ask. 

"Me? I don't think you want my influence, I mean our styles are a little different.." he stuttered, hands moving away from the keys as if he'd forgotten how to play. "Come on, don't be coy, you're an incredible musician. Plus, it'd be great to hear you play some of it so I can work out what else it needs. Please?" you ask, giving him an over-the-top flutter of your eyelashes and your biggest grin. 

"Well how can I say no to that?" he chuckled. You pull up a chair beside him, rummaging through the piles of paper stacked upon your piano. You find what you were looking for, and place some hastily scribbled lyrics and chords in front of him. "If I play through what I have, do you think you can play it the second time on guitar so I can put some keys over it?" you ask, plugging your guitar in to the small amplifier at your feet followed by the effects pedal.  

Joe nodded, and turned his body to face you. Finding a click track on your laptop, you set it going and begin to play. The lyrics still only half-formed, you need to look past Joe to see them on the piano. Each time you do, you notice his eyes fixed firmly on you, an unreadable expression on his face. You feel your cheeks flush, like you're truly exposed to him. It wasn't often you worked with anyone at the earliest stages of song writing, and when you did it was usually with the rest of the band, people you'd known for years. Yet there was something about Joe, that made you feel instantly at ease, like inviting him into this incredibly personal process was just obvious, an inevitability.  

The song finishes, and you look to Joe for his reaction. "That sounds fucking incredible!" he says, offering his hands out for the guitar before you can even offer. You pass it over willingly, and he begins to play, even picking up on the small riff you'd added but not written onto the paper. He stands to swap places with you, your bodies brushing past each other. "Alright, are you ready?" he asks, looking at you through his overgrown fringe. "Yeah, you start and I'll join in. Feel free to add anything you think might work, I'm not precious" you say, eyes unable to pull away from the way his deft fingers work over the frets of your guitar. 

Joe begins to play your song, and it takes a few bars before you remember you aren't supposed to be watching him, but playing along. Thankfully, Joe is lost in concentration, as he plays as accurately as he can. You swivel on your seat and begin to sing, laying down some piano over the guitar. As the song progresses, so does Joe's confidence. He starts to sing a harmony over the bridge and chorus of your song, humming over the words yet to be written. Your voices blend together in a buttery smooth crescendo of harmony, prickling your skin with excitement. You look over at each other, smiles bright as you relish in the magic of making music together. All too soon, the song finishes. 

"That sounded great, the vocals you added? I love it! Can I use them?" you ask him. "You can have anything you want" he replied, the blush creeping up his cheeks speaking of a double meaning to his words. "Let's do it again, once more - and I'll record it. Then I promise, we can go for a drink" you say, plugging in a couple of mics, pulling everything into your laptop to capture the magic, while it was still fresh. "Hey, I'm having a great time - we can go for a drink or we can sit here all day" he said. "... I'll just send you an invoice for my time later on" he quipped, flashing you a devastatingly handsome cheeky grin. 

"Well, what's your rates?" you ask, as you keel in front of him to adjust a mic on a makeshift stand, your faces close together. "I take US dollars, British pounds or dates with pretty girls" he said, so casually and smoothly you almost miss the last part. You look up at him from your position on the floor, heart racing. Was he really asking you out? You had to know for sure. If he really was joking, and you let yourself fall for it, you weren't sure if you'd ever recover. 

"I got a couple pretty girls in my phone. Else I think there's a $20 bill in my purse from my last trip over there" you say, letting out a breathy laugh to release some of the tension bubbling up inside you. You look down again, fiddling with a wire connection as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Joe is quiet for the moment, and you panic. What if he really did just want setting up with a friend? Before your mind can self-destruct, a warm hand finds your cheek, lifting your head gently. He brings your face up to look at him, his eyes deep and soft, universes you could get lost in given half the chance. 

"I'm asking you on a date, in case that was a little too subtle" he said, the corner of his mouth lifting as if suppressing a grin. You were looking at him, but his hand remained on your face, a fact you didn't mind in the slightest - especially as he gently brushed a thumb over your cheek. Your brain tries to come up with a witty response, an affirmative that sounds interested, but not desperate. Something to make him laugh, to break the deliciously tense situation you're in. But all that comes out is a "I'd love to" coupled with a wide, warm smile. 

The two of you share a moment, and you almost think he's going to tighten the grip on your face, and pull you in to kiss you. But Joe lets his hand fall, and offers it out to you. You take it as he helps you stand. "You free tomorrow night?" he asked. "Uh.. yeah I think so. I thought we were going out now though?" you ask. "Oh, yeah - yeah we can go for some drinks. But that's not a date. I'll take you out for a date tomorrow night - trust me, there's a difference" he says, a glint of mischief in his eye. "There is, huh? What, am I getting the American guy experience? You'll pick me up in your car, give me your letterman jacket to wear and try pull a move on me in the drive-through cinema?" you ask playfully. 

Joe laughs, shaking his head. "Well someone learned everything they know about America from Grease" he laughed, picking away the opening notes to 'Summer Nights' from the musical. "Oh you're going there, Keery?!" you ask, giggling as you pull a pink denim jacket from the back of your door (one Charlie had always called your 'Pink Ladies' jacket). "Summer loving, had me a blast.." he sang, rising from his seat to join you in the middle of the room. "Summer loving, happened so fast.." you sang back, blushing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. 

He tries to sing the next line, but draws a blank. His hands still playing the melody on the guitar. "God damn it, I can't remember the rest of the words!" he cried. "Oh come on, you can't tell me you didn't play Danny Zuko in your high school production of Grease?" you tease. "Believe it or not, my school never did Grease. What about you, you sure seem to know it?" he asks, as you sing through the next couple of lines alone. "Oh no, we did Grease. But I wasn't the lead" you say, stepping through what steps you could remember from the song. 

"Oh, so you were Rizzo, huh?" he asked, swaying his hips in time with you. If anyone were to look into the window, they'd think you both insane, dancing around the living room with a guitar and a pink jacket. "Nope, guess again! What makes you think I was Rizzo?" you ask him. "Well, from what I hear all the hottest girls played Rizzo in their high school productions of Grease, so I figured it was the only other option" he said, following you with his eyes as you danced your way over to the piano, sitting down before you made a fool of yourself. 

You grab your laptop and change some settings, ready to record. "Oh no, I was far from the hot girl at school. I was quite literally the ugly duckling. I was a background dancer, no lines, no solo - nothing. Just there because I was the only one who could keep a vague sense of rhythm" you laughed, though the memory still stung. "Seriously? I don't believe you, I bet you were adorable" he said, sitting beside you, plugging the guitar back in ready to resume your recording. "I'd show you proof, but the only pictures of me from my school years, pre braces, skincare routine and contact lenses are up at my Gran's house. Safely miles and miles from here" you say, turning back to face the piano, before he had the chance to picture you like that. 

Sensing you didn't want to pursue the subject further, Joe simply nodded, and scooted his chair closer to you, to share your handwritten chord sheet. "Okay, you ready? Just like we did before. I just want to get it on here in case I forget everything. It won't be mixed super well, but it'll do" you say, hitting record. Joe begins the song, and you join once again with vocals and piano. The song once again works, except this time it sounds even better, less improvised. You catch each other's eyes multiple times as the song continues, both of you struggling to hide smiles. Again, the song ends. You finish the recording, and turn to Joe. "I really can't thank you enough. What you added, it sounds just great. You should get in the studio yourself sometime" you say, standing up and stretching. 

"I think I will. I really enjoyed that, and I have a couple ideas floating around so.. watch this space I guess" he replied. "Look, I'm gonna go put some actual clothes on. Then if you still wanna get a drink, we can go grab a couple in a pub garden somewhere?" you offer. "Sounds great. Mind if I play while you get ready?" he asked. "Go for it" you say, before disappearing upstairs. 

Once in your bedroom, you close the door. The faint sound of Joe playing downstairs merely background noise. You step infront of your wardrobe, and see your reflection in the mirror. You blush, as you notice the protrusion of your nipples through the thin material of your top; their pebbled peaks giving away the mix of excitement and arousal you felt around Joe. You curse to yourself, as you pull off the top, and put on a bra, along with some fresh deodorant. Off with the shorts and on with a sundress, and finally you look a little more human. You put on a light layer of make up, and shake your hear out into a mess of waves around your shoulders. 

Before going back downstairs, you perch on the end of your bed and take a minute to yourself. Did that just really happen? Did Joe seriously just ask you out on a date? Holy shit. 

************************************

You pause and take a moment to observe, as Joe plays your guitar, his back to the door. You lean against the doorframe, watching soft rays of sun kiss his hair. You know you should make your presence known, but you're fascinated in watching his process. He plays, and sings just under his breath, words you can't quite make out. He shuffles through your stack of paper until he finds a blank sheet, and jots down words and chords as he goes. You consider creeping back upstairs, to let him revel in his creative flow a little longer. But of course, a creaky floorboard beneath your feet makes the decision for you. 

"Oh, hey! Are you ready to go?" he asked, placing the guitar down gently. "Uh, yeah but don't stop on my account. Sounded like you really had something going there" you say, re-joining him, and peering over at his writing. "How long were you stood there?" he asked. "Oh not long, I could just hear you upstairs" you lie in response. "Come on, we worked on something of mine, why don't we take a look at yours?" you offer, your hand ghosting down his arm. 

"Uh, yeah sure. It's something I've been working on for a while, kind of a 'getting out of a rut' type song?" he says, picking the guitar back up, placing the strap over his shoulder. You take a seat on the loveseat across from him, tucking your legs under yourself. Joe beings to play, short sharp strums indicating a faster beat than you anticipated. 

"I just graduated, top of my class
Furthest from last
So why do I feel so bad?
So why do I feel so bad?
I'm emancipated, out on my own
Got it under control
So why do I feel so bad?
Why do I feel so bad?"

Joe continued to play through the pre-chorus and chorus hook, and you watch him, spellbound by his talent, his looks, his.. everything. Your heart and soul resonated with the words of the song well, the desperate need to break away from the norm, from the expectations of others around you, from a toxic situation. It pulled your heartstrings, knowing someone so kind and gentle as Joe, could know the bitterness of a heart-breaking existence.

"That's.. all I have right now. What do you think?" he asked. You rose from your seat, and strolled to pick up another guitar, electric this time. "I think it's really fucking good. I had an idea of a second guitar part though, you mind playing it again and I can show you?" you ask, plugging in and standing before him - eyes full of hope that he'd let you share in this process, as you had done with him. 

Joe nodded, and began again. This time, you played short sharp chords over his base melody. Judging by the curve of his lips as he sang, he seemed to approve. Spurred on by his enthusiasm for your contribution, you throw a couple of harmonised vocal lines over a few of the lyrics. 

"Seriously, I can see this being a song that people will shout the lyrics to when you play this live. It's really good! Let's go again - I'll record it this time and send you it over" you say, working quickly to set up a fresh recording. "God, I'd love that. I've done shows, festivals and stuff but I've never really toured. It's the dream" he admitted, unnecessarily bashfully. 

"Well, you know what do do. Get in the studio and make some changes to the jobs you accept, make some time to tour. I guarantee people are gonna go crazy for you. Could be the start of something new and exciting for you" you say, offering him an encouraging smile. "Alright, from the top.." you say, giving him a nod to start the song once again. You both concentrate during the first verse of the song, keeping time with the stamp of Joe's heel against the floor. Joe began to settle back into the song come the chorus, grinning as he sang, eyes sparkling with excitement and delight at doing what it was so clear he loved. 

"No, I said, hey!
A link is breaking out of the chain
Hey!
A link is breaking out of the chain
I got a feeling that a break is gonna happen maybe right now, right now."

You finish and turn to stop the recording, but Joe carries on playing; a post chorus you weren't expecting. As he played, he took a step towards you, his eyes meeting yours as he sang. 

"Come on
Go there
Surprise me
You little link in the chain"

As he said the words, 'you little link in the chain' - you could have sworn he winked at you. Did he? You can't be sure, but the way he looked at you, in equal parts joy and something akin to hunger had left your head spinning in the most delightful way. As his final chord rang out, it took you a moment to snap out of your head and stop the recording. You turned and ended it, exporting the file to email over some other time. When you turned back around, Joe had shed the guitar he was holding, and had taken yet another step towards you. 

"You are incredible, you know that?" he asked, placing his hands in front of him, in an offer to remove your guitar. You lift the strap over your shoulder and let him take it, heart pounding as he placed it on it's stand beside him. "I studied music, it just.. makes sense to me. It's nothing, really.." you say, bashful at his praise. "No. I mean, yeah you are such a fucking, badass musician but that's not what I mean" he says, his hand reaching forward to move a strand of hair away from your face. 

"I mean, you make me feel like I'm doing the right thing. Like it won't all fuck up as long as you don't think it will" he says softly, letting his warm palm linger by your face yet again. As if holding your cheek was mere muscle memory at this point. "Like things are finally worth changing for.." he says in a near whisper. Your hand seems to move on it's own accord, taking the hand of his not against your face and squeezing tight. You rack your brain for the right thing to say, to portray just how much he means to you already, in such a short space of time, without sounding crazy, or too much. Nothing comes. Instead, you let your hands linger together, brushing your thumb over his long, skilled fingers. 

You allow yourself to lock eyes with him, the tension so thick you feel as if you might suffocate. As if he could read your mind, his eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles. A wide, warm and genuine grin so sweet you could almost kiss him. And you want to, oh how you want to. Without realising, your bodies had become even closer, barely a breath apart. You feel his heat, and are drawn towards it, closing the gap wordlessly, your chests just grazing each other. 

"You are so beautiful.." he says, gazing down upon you like you are indeed, the most beautiful work of art he'd ever seen. The hand on your cheek beckons your face forward, his eyes focused and wanting as he zeroes in on your lips. You allow yourself to move towards him, to kiss him like every fibre of your being wants you to. 

"Hello?! We're going to the pub do you want to come? Joe, you still here?" came the hollering voice of Charlie. You curse him internally as the two of you break away from each other, just as Charlie burst into the room. "There you are! Do neither of you answer your phones or something?" he asked, as an apologetic looking Natalia entered behind him. "We were writing, both of us had some song ideas so we just put them down before we lost them" you say, begging your pulse to slow down while you gather your half drunk coffees and take them to the kitchen. 

You hear footsteps follow you, but you don't turn around, storming into the kitchen to place the mugs in the sink. "Look, you can tell me to shut up, but did we just interrupt something?" asked Natalia. So that was who followed you. A part of you was relieved it wasn't Joe, unsure of what you'd have said to him. "No! No we were just finishing up some ideas" you say, rinsing stale coffee from the crockery. "Then, are you two okay? Like, are you getting on? 'Cause I thought you two were friends but it seemed kinda tense when we arrived" she pries. 

You turn and look at her. Natalia isn't stupid, far from it. She knows, and there's no point hiding it from her anymore. "I think he was about to kiss me" you say, plainly - waiting to gauge her reaction. "I knew it! I knew as soon as we walked in, there was something going on. That's so good! Did you want him to? Were you going to kiss him back?" she asked, in a hushed tone. "Oh of course I did, he's.. he's great. We've been getting on really well and he actually asked to take me out on a date and.." you begin, but stop as Natalia slaps a hand over her mouth. 

"He really asked you? That's amazing! He's been really messed up since his break up a while ago. Didn't think he'd ever be ready again. Did you say yes?" she asked. "Yeah, yeah I did. We haven't made plans yet, we were just doing to go for some drinks in the sunshine once we'd finished with the songs" you say, drying your hands. "Oh, well I can convince Charlie to do something different to give you two your privacy?" offered Natalia. "No, no it's fine. Nothing has happened, I just want to carry on like normal. Come on, let's go. And I know you're gonna tell Charlie but please, do me a favour and wait until you're home? I can't be bothered with him being all.. Charlie about it" you ask. Natalia gives you an understanding nod, and you both re-join the boys in the other room. 

Chapter Text

"Fuck, I am too old for this I swear" as the two of you fell out of a taxi outside your front door. "You're barely older than me, you're talking like we're past our prime!" you retort, digging around in your bag to find your keys. It was only 1:30am but a couple of hours of drinking with Charlie, Joe and Natalia had taken its toll. "Keep the meter running, I just gotta make sure she gets in alright and I'll be back" said Joe to the driver, who nodded curtly. Finally, you found your keys and let yourself into your house, a silent tilt of your head inviting Joe in behind you. 

"Jesus, it's a mess in here" you slurred, rummaging through the stacks of paper littering your living room. "I can just get them when I pick you up tomorrow?" offered Joe. As he said that, you found what you were looking for. You passed the crumpled pages over to Joe, that contained the notes and chords of the song he'd worked on with you before Charlie and Natalia arrived. "No it's okay, here it is. Do you have a guitar at Charlie's? You can borrow one if you like" you offer, already excited to hear what he adds to the song. 

"I can borrow one from Charlie, just wanted this so I remembered what we did" he said, folding them and sliding them into his pocket. "I'll send you over the recording too, I think I got it anyway. You winked at me and the end and it kinda got me a little flushed" you admitted, the alcohol in your system ensuring you had as little filter as possible. "Oh it did, huh? I guess I need to remember that" he smiled. 

The two of you made your way back into the hall, for Joe to get back into the taxi which must've been racking up quite the total. "So, I'll pick you up tomorrow. How's 5:30?" he asked. "Sure, I can do 5:30. What's the plan?" you ask. "Honestly? I have no idea. I just really want to see you again, because I really want to kiss you right now but I don't want the first time I get to kiss you, to be when we're both kinda drunk" he said, his breath hitching as you step closer to him. "Well in that case, a hug?" you offer, desperate for his touch. 

You throw your arms around his neck as he wraps his around your waist, lifting you up with surprising ease. "I've had a really good time" he said, breath hot in your ear. "Me too, I'm glad I got to show you a couple of our favourite pubs and bars" you reply, breathing in his soft, sweet yet masculine scent. "No I mean, these past few days since I landed. I was expecting to spend most of it writing in Charlie's garden but.. I'm so glad I've spent it with you instead" he said, lowering you gently to your feet. 

"Me too" you say, in a near whisper as your bodies finally separate. "Now go, or you'll have to sell your body to pay for the taxi" you say, knowing any more of his touch and your resolve not to do anything more while drunk would crumble. "See you tomorrow sweetheart" he said, winking before turning and getting back into the car. That little shit, the wink did exactly what he wanted it to. Your heart swelled and your knees buckled, as you shut the door behind you. Oh, he is going to make your life, or ruin it - and you can't wait to find out. 

****************************************************

You wake the next morning to a low buzzing sound emitting from your bedside table. With half-open eyes, you reach for the source (your ringing phone) and answer it. "Hello?" you say, or more accurately, croak. "Are you dating Joe?" comes a slightly miffed voice you recognise as Charlie. "Morning to you too" you reply, sitting up and yawning. "Seriously, what's going on? Nat said something about you going out, and Joe's just asked me where you might like to go?" he continued. "Sounds like you know Joe and I are going on a date, so why are you asking me?" you retort. 

"I'm asking why you didn't say anything" he responded, though you could tell there was very little annoyance there, not really. "Because as close as we are, you've never once been interested in my dating life. Didn't think you'd care, not after you were hinting about it while we were at yours the other day. You don't care do you?" you ask. Charlie sighed down the phone, and you knew you'd made your point. 

"You've both had pretty shitty partners that you've only just recovered from. I watched you both go through it and I just want to make sure you've got each other's best interests at heart. I've already had this conversation with Joe, and no I won't be telling you what he said" said Charlie. "You're saying it like we're about to jump straight into marriage! He asked me out, we're going to go out tonight. We won't rush into anything, you know as well as we do that it's a lot more complicated than that. Just.. let us figure it out and when we know, I promise we'll tell you" you say, holding the phone to your cheek as you stand up and make the bed. 

"Okay just.. why did you tell Nat before me?" he asked. "Because the two of you interrupted a moment yesterday, and she was the only one to have noticed" you stated, rolling your eyes for no one's benefit but your own. "Fine, I'll start knocking. I gotta go anyway, have fun tonight. And don't forget, try and get up to see Gran" he said. You made promises and hung up, before jumping into the shower. You scrubbed, masked, shaved and conditioned every inch of your body until you felt like a new woman, like no traces of the alcohol in your system could be found. 

After spending the rest of the day answering emails, organising recording sessions and more song writing, it was time to get ready. You hadn't thought about what to wear, and suddenly panicked when you realised some of your favourite outfits were in the bottom of your laundry hamper, neglected. After half an hour of trying on, and diving into the depths of your wardrobe, you settled on a velvety emerald green dress. It was nice enough to wear to a fancy dinner, but not too much that you'd look out of place at a bar. 

5:30 rolled around quickly, and as prompt as can be, the doorbell rang. You opened it and had to stifle a laugh of delight as he stood there - in an actual high school letterman jacket holding a bouquet of red roses. "Your all American date has arrived" he grinned, handing you the flowers. "You didn't!?" you exclaimed, taking the bouquet and inhaling the sweet scent of fresh roses. "Oh, I did" he said, taking off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. "Now if you'll wear my letterman jacket, and go steady with me then I can assure you we'll both be prom king and queen" he said, so seriously that you were torn between swooning and laughing. 

"I am desperate to know where you got this from, but honestly I don't care this is working for me" you say, as you place the flowers in a vase of water. You turn back to face him, and take in what he's wearing for the first time, now he'd shed the ridiculous jacket. He stood before you in dark blue slacks, and an ivory linen shirt. His hair was perfectly imperfect, and he smelled like a dream. He looked incredible. 

"So, if you're ready I'd like to take you out. I got a car outside" he said, and offered you his hand. You took it, praying yours weren't as hot and clammy as you thought they would be as he lead to outside. A sleek black Audi was parked outside your house, a suited driver in situe. It wasn't exactly something you weren't used to. When touring, the band would take private cars to get from venue to venue, especially as your popularity picked up. Being friends with a lot of actors and even more successful musicians had also meant you'd travelled well. But this was the first time it'd ever been done just for you, and by a date no less. 

Joe must've seen your thoughts whirring, as he stopped short of the door. "It's not too much is it? I just thought it'd make sure we weren't being bothered by anyone" he said, worry in his eyes. "No, no! It's.. it's perfect honestly" you said, smiling at him for reassurance. He opened the door and helped you inside. The interior was polished, spotless leather seats and crystal champagne flutes. He climbed in behind you and passed you a glass, as the car set off. 

"Am I allowed to know where we're going?" you asked, clinking your glass against his. "I thought we'd have dinner somewhere nice, and then I got us box tickets to a play" he said. Before you could respond, he continued. "We don't have to, if you want to make sure we aren't seen then I thought maybe we could just find a quiet corner of a bar somewhere..". 

"Do you care about us being seen together?" you asked him. "No, not in the slightest. Do you?" he asked. "No. We're just two adults, enjoying an evening out together, right? So what if the press or fans see? They can see someone taking the bins out and think it's a scandal. Can't let it stop us from doing what we want to do" you replied. In truth, the idea did worry you a little. Your previous relationship had attracted very little media attention. But being seen on a date with someone like Joe? That could be different. But sitting beside him, seeing the effort he'd gone to, to not only make you feel special, but to make you laugh, had quashed any worries completely. 

"Besides, you know after the first season of Stranger Things came out, the press published photos of Charlie and me having breakfast together with the caption 'Stranger Things Star Has Breakfast With Girlfriend' so anything that doesn't paint us as dating family members is an improvement" you laughed. Joe laughed too, the joyous sound of his mirth filling your heart with warmth. "What play are we seeing, anyway?" you asked him. "Okay so I did ask Charlie and he told me you'd missed out on tickets to see this so I pulled some favours and.. it's Waiting for Godot" he said. 

It took all your self-restraint not to squeal with delight. It was your favourite play, and one you'd performed as part of the theatre society at university. The tickets had been sold out for months, going online while you were touring and too busy to remember to get any. The fact he'd managed to get tickets was nothing short of a miracle. "Are you serious?! That's amazing!" you cried, throwing your arms around him. 

He held you back, the warmth of his palms grounding you back to reality. "I never knew you were such a theatre nerd" he said, as he reached for your hand, laying your clasped hands in his lap. "Oh, trust me you might be an actor and I might be a musician but I LOVE theatre. Took me a long time to decide whether or not to follow theatre and acting, or music honestly" you tell him. 

"What swayed you?" he asked you earnestly, his deep eyes searching to know as much about you as he can. "I guess I was always just better at music, you know? I like creating, and I was never much of a playwright. And believe me, I tried. My laptop is still full of half scripts that went nowhere" you admit. "You're a great actor. I've seen you performing, and I've seen your music videos. Makes sense now you say it, and hey - the acting door's never closed. You can try do both like me and Charlie" said Joe, running his thumb over the back of your hand. 

"Oh you've seen a lot of videos then?" you ask him, a teasing smirk playing on your lips. "Uh.. yeah well actually Charlie is way more proud of you than he'd let you think. He showed us every new music video or performance whenever he got the chance. But when we met, and you went home I might've had a little watch of a few favourites. Is that weird?" he asked you. 

"If it's weird, then I guess we can be weird together. I might've done the same thing. Hey, you don't still have that white boiler suit do you?" you ask him, referring to a particularly iconic stage outfit you'd seen. "Why, did it do something for ya?" he asked. "Guess you'll have to put it on and find out" you purred, leaning in to him. With that, the car traversed over a particularly nasty speed bump, the universe's way of saying 'not yet'. 

************************************

"Do you want to come in?" you asked him, as the car pulled up outside your house. "I'd love to" he said, dismissing the driver for the evening. Though you were in this exact position almost 24 hours ago, things felt different. You'd both drunk a lot less, the night was warmer and there was a delicious tension in the air; like electricity sparking between the two of you. And this time, Joe didn't have to leave. 

You stepped in and both of you shed your shoes, a comfortable silence filling the air after an evening of conversation, laughter and shared entertainment. Everything had been practically perfect. The food, the show, and especially the company. You could almost say you didn't want the night to end, but that wouldn't be entirely true. Your heart was racing as your body neared what it'd been yearning for all evening. "I don't mean to sound like I'm quoting a film, but do you fancy a nightcap?" you ask. "Sure, what do you have?" he asked, his socked feet padding behind you as you walked into the kitchen. You open a bottle of white wine and pour two glasses, before taking them out to the back garden, and on to the loveseat. 

"I had a really great time tonight, thank you for making it so special" you say, tucking your feet underneath you as he sat down at your side. "Me too, I gotta admit I was kinda nervous" he said. "Why were you nervous?" you asked, intrigued that you could have such an effect. "Well, obviously I wanted it to go well, I wanted you to have a good time but.. I'm guessing you also had the third degree from Charlie this morning?" he asked. "Uh.. yeah. I was gonna mention that. I'm sorry I really didn't ever see something like that coming from him" you say. 

"It's fine he just cares about you, about me. I've never had.. feelings.. for someone so close to a friend. It felt like there were more stakes, like if I screwed this up, I'd lose Charlie, as well as you" he said, eyes staring down at his hands as he picked his thumb. "You have.. feelings?" you ask him, softly. "God, yeah. Yeah I do. And it feels weird because we've only known each other a couple of days but I'm already dreading the inevitable time when I have to leave and go back home again" he said, and your heart broke. He was right, whatever was going on between you was destined to have an expiry date on it. He'd go back to his life in the states, and you'd go back to recording and touring. 

"How long are you here?" you asked. "I got a couple more weeks yet" he said, finally meeting your eyes. "Then let's have fun for a few weeks" you say, reaching to take his hand. He held your hand tight, running the fingers of his other hand over the inside of your arm. The sensation felt made you quiver, sending goose bumps up your arms. Joe must've mistaken your excitement for chills, as he leapt up and swiftly came back with that damn letterman jacket. Once again, he draped it over your shoulders, its soft warmth soothing despite your rising temperature. 

Joe sat back down beside you, and raised his arm to pull you into his side. He draped his arm over you and a peaceful quiet befell the night. Or, as quiet as residential London can get. He stroked your side softly, as you both sipped at your wine. "Can I ask you a question?" asked Joe, softly. "Sure, what's wrong?" you ask, sitting up to look at him, tense at his serious tone of voice. "Oh no, nothing's wrong. I just.. who was your thirsty text to Charlie about? When you watched season four?" he asked. You groaned as you chugged the rest of your glass. "You're really asking me this?!" you say, though the grin on your face lets him know you're not mad. 

"It's gonna bug me forever if I don't know and Charlie will probably tell me if I ask. Thought I'd get it from you instead. Come on, it's no big deal. Hey, I can even set you up if you were still interested" he chuckled. "Well, maybe I am interested. In one of them anyway" you say, biting your lip as the truth teeters on the edge of spoken. "One, you mean it was about two people?" he asked, eyebrows raised high on his face. "Yeah. The first is the character of Eddie.." you begin. "Joe? Damn, I'll have to tell him; you're just his type. Were you disappointed that it was this Joe that showed up with Charlie the other day?" he asked, chuckling. Yet there was an edge to his words, a darkness, a disappointment.

"No, no you didn't listen to me. Not Joe, Eddie. What can I say, I like a nerd who's into metal music.." you laughed. "Besides, I knew which Joe was coming, and you were the furthest thing from a disappointment" you say, nudging him with your elbow. "Point taken. Who's the second one?" he asked. "You really haven't worked it out?" you ask, genuinely unsure if he really didn't know, or was just waiting for you to say it. 

"Well, you seemed to not wanna answer so I'm guessing it's someone embarrassing. Oh shit, did you fancy Vecna?!" he laughed. "No you idiot.. it was you. I was watching the series, I went to send a text to a friend but accidentally sent it to Charlie about how attracted I was to Eddie.. and you" you say, pausing for his reaction. It couldn't be a surprise - surely. You'd spent the past few days practically inseparable. You'd nearly kissed a couple of times, and you'd just invited him back to yours after a wonderful date. Of course he knew, right?

"Eddie and Steve, huh" he said, framed as a statement rather than a question. You sighed, and realised he needed to be assured properly. You weren't too sure where this reluctance to believe how attractive he is was coming from, and you made a point to come back to that at a later date, but it was clear Joe was a man who needed clear words, and actions. "No, not Steve.." you said, moving to kneel beside him on the bench, facing him as his body turned to you. "Not Steve, you.." you whispered, as you leaned forward to kiss him. 

It took less than a second for Joe to melt into your kiss, his hands flying to your side, pulling you in close and up to straddle his lap in one smooth motion. You gasped into the kiss at the movement, giving Joe the opportunity to kiss down your neck and collar bone. You moaned softly and ran your fingers through his hair as his lips caressed your skin, setting it aflame. 

Joe nosed his way back up your neck, your noses pressed together as you both took a breath. "Oh, you are so worth the wait" he said, before taking your lips once more in a fevered kiss. You open up to allow his tongue in to explore your mouth, the sounds both of you were making, enough to make the urban foxes blush. "Let's go inside" you say, in a way in which you hoped didn't portray just how needy you were. 

You stood and offered him a hand. He took it and let himself be lead inside. Once back in the threshold of your house, his lips were back on yours, kissing you as he pressed you into the kitchen counter. You let your hands move up his chest and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. Once it was loose enough, he pulled away and dragged the shirt over his head. You were rewarded with an unabashed view of his toned chest, covered in soft hair. Your fingers trailed softly over his skin, making him shudder and grip your hips tightly.

Before things could go any further, you noticed the unlocked door and open windows. The last thing you wanted was a break-in. Reluctantly, you placed gentle pressure on his chest to push him away. "Wait, hold on" you said, breath still somewhat taken. "Is everything okay? We don't have to do this.." he said, anxious eyes seeking your consent. "Oh, no I want this, I do. I just gotta lock up" you chuckled, dashing over to the back door. "Can you get the windows while I lock the front door up?" you ask. The two of you wordlessly pad around, a wordless confirmation that he wouldn't be leaving until morning. 

"Okay, all done. Sorry, it's just it's a pretty nice area but it's still London and.." you start, but your words fall short as he takes your face in his hands and kisses you softly. "It's okay sweetheart, I got you. We're all locked up, I've checked everything twice for you. It's okay" he said, before moving his hands down your back, past your backside (letting his hands rest there a beat longer than necessary) and to your upper thighs. Without warning, he picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. 

"Tell me you want this, tell me again" he growled, as he grazed your neck with his teeth. "I want you, I need you" you breathed, arching your back as he let his grazing turn into a bite. It was all the permission he needed. Swiftly, he carried you upstairs. "Which room?" he asked. Thanking your previous self for tidying and making the bed this morning, you pointed him to your bedroom. Once inside, he gently placed you down on the bed and crawled over you. As he kissed, sucked and nibbled almost every exposed area of your neck, shoulders and chest, you dragged your nails down his back in a soft scratch. 

"Take my dress off" you moaned, desperate to feel his bare skin against yours. Joe crawled backwards and up off the bed. He stood looking down at your flushed form for a moment, before grabbing your ankles and dragging you down to sit at the edge of the bed. He offered you a hand to help you stand, which you took gratefully as your knees threatened to give out. Once stood, he turned you around to stand behind you, a prominent bulge in his trousers pressing into your ass. 

Torturously slowly, his fingers worked their way up to the zip at the back of your dress. He pulled it down slowly with one hand, as the other brushed your hair away from the nape of your neck for him to kiss. Once undone, he let the material drop to the floor, leaving you in your carefully picked out matching bra and panties. He moaned at the sight, and let his hands cup your covered breasts. 

You pulled away from him and turned around, exuding confidence you hadn't felt for a long time as you let him look at you properly. "You are so fucking beautiful" he panted, jaw swinging open as he watched you unfasten your bra, throwing it to the floor to join your dress. You pushed his shoulders slightly to make him sit on the bed, and straddled him, thrusting your bare chest into his face. 

Joe's erection pressed hard into you, still restrained by his trousers and underwear. You'd let him have relief soon enough, but for now you were enamoured with the way he pinched and sucked at your nipples, sending shockwaves of pleasure right down to your toes. "So perfect, so beautiful, so good" he praised, as you let your hips grind against him. It must've proven too much to bear, as in another show of strength that took the wind from your lungs, Joe took hold of you and spun you around, pressing you into the bed again. 

Rather than joining you again, he sank down to his knees on the floor, trailing kisses from your ankle all the way up your leg, to the apex of your thighs, making you lay back and whimper with want. He repeated the motion on the same leg, his teasing making your clit throb. You needed relief, and prayed he would give it to you. Once back up to your thighs, he let his hot breath ghost over your clothed sex. His fingers teased their way underneath the waistband of the fabric, ready to pull them down, but not pulling them, not yet. 

"I need to taste you, can I taste you baby?" he asked. You mewled an affirmative and wriggled against him, your hips raising off the bed. "Use your words baby, gotta tell me" he instructed, pressing more electric kisses to the soft skin of your inner thigh. "Yes.. want.. want you to" you manage to pant out. "Good girl" he growled, as he pulled your underwear down your legs. They must've been soaked with your arousal, but you were too turned on to care. All your mind could focus on was the prospect of his mouth right where he needed it. 

You laid there, completely bare and exposed for him. But unlike many other times in this position, you didn't feel vulnerable. You weren't worrying about whether you'd trimmed your bikini line enough, or whether you should've showered again, or whether your thick thighs would get in the way. None of that seemed to matter, as Joe's hungry, adoring gaze made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. For the first time, a partner praised and complimented you, and you had no problem believing it. 

Finally, he let his mouth dive into your pussy. He wanted to hold back, to tease you a little more, but as soon as he saw you there, exposed, pink and perfect, all sense of self control flew out of the window. He let his tongue explore your folds as he tasted your sweet juices, lapping them up like a man starved. His tongue licked firm stripes up your slit, from hole to clit, eliciting moans you'd never heard yourself make before. Shifting his focus, he let himself suck and lick at your clit, hands braced against your thighs keeping your legs open so your body could relax fully. 

"Feels so good, I'm gonna cum if you don't stop soon.." you warned him. Joe looked up at you from between your thighs, and a more erotic sight there never was. His hair was tousled, his cheeks were rosy and his mouth was slick with your essence. "That's the plan baby.. want you to let go. Can you do that for me?" he asked. You nodded, and breathed out a "yes" as he went back to work. His tongue breached your hole as his nose brushed against your clit, making you call his name like a prayer to god. As he felt your climax near, he rested one of your legs on his shoulder as he used a hand to spread your folds, and gently press a finger inside. 

The added sensation had your back arching against the mattress, and your hands flying to his hair to hold on for dear life. He added a second finger, curling them perfectly to tease at your g-spot, sending stars before your eyes. His mouth was relentless, eating you like a last meal, coaxing an orgasm from you quicker than any you'd had before. "Joe, baby.. gonna.. I'm gonna.." you groaned, using the pet name back at him. Before you could give him any more warning, your orgasm crashed over you, sending you writhing on the bed, and drenching his face in your arousal. 

He kitten-licked you through the final waves of pleasure, before slowly removing his fingers. He knelt and licked them clean, cherishing your taste. You weren't sure if he knew you could see him, but the sight sent you wild, almost ready to go again despite your nerves still being on fire. Finally, he stood and lay beside you on the bed, kissing you softly, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. 

"You.. that was.. fuck" you said, chuckling at your inability to form a coherent sentence. "You taste amazing, I could do that all night baby" he smiled, nuzzling into your neck. "I have some thing's I'd like to do too though, can't be all about me" you purr, as you kneel on the bed and begin to undo his trousers. He placed a hand on yours, slowing your movements. "You really don't have to.." he began, but stopped as you kissed him. "Trust me, I want to. Let me.." you say, your voice heavy with want. Satisfied, he laid back down and let you remove his trousers and boxers, letting his cock spring free. 

Despite yourself, you practically drooled at the sight. He was rock hard, and precum was already beading at his head. He was girthy, and just the perfect length.. and you couldn't wait to feel him inside you. That could wait though, as you licked your lips and took the head of his cock in your mouth, sucking gently. Joe shuddered underneath you, and placed his hands gently on the back of your head, careful not to push you. 

Usually, a blowjob was a means to an end. Either a way to get a partner there without actually having sex, or a way to reciprocate oral you'd received. You'd usually pull out the usual tricks, choking it back, letting it slap against your tongue, everything you'd been lead to believe men wanted from such an act. But with Joe, you were struck at just how much you wanted to suck his cock. To feel it heavy against your mouth, to taste him, to make him feel good. For the first time, you were sucking cock for you, as much as for him. 

The realisation had you taking things slowly, letting him writhe beneath you as you dragged your tongue up and down his length. You hummed softly as you sucked deeply but slowly, feeling him grow impossibly harder as your touch drove him wild. "That's it, oh my god.. oh my god sweetheart that's so good" he mumbled, as your fist worked what you couldn't comfortably fit inside your mouth. You arched your back, so he could see your ass in the air, grinding your hips against nothing to drive him wild. It became quickly clear he was nearing the end, but you weren't done. You needed him to fuck you, so it was time to slam on the breaks. 

Pulling off of his cock with a 'pop', you crawled over to him and kissed him, straddling his torso - letting his cock have a break. "You're so.. you are amazing" he groaned between kisses, letting his hands knead at your buttocks, grabbing the soft flesh delightfully desperately. "I want you, I want you to fuck me" you purr, something you're fairly certain you've never wanted more in our life. "I want to.. do we need.. any protection?" he stammered out, crawling out from beneath you, to hover over you again. 

"I'm tested and on the pill" you confirmed, chest heaving beneath him as his tip ghosted your entrance. "Me too, I mean tested.. not on the pill.." he said, causing both of you to burst into laughter, which was soon turned into gutteral moans as he let himself slide into your wet and wanting hole. He filled you so perfectly, as if he was made just for you. He started slow, dragging himself all the way in, and all the way out, letting you feel every single inch of him. "That's it baby, you're doing so good. So good for me, taking it so well.." he whispered, as he let himself quicken the pace. 

Suddenly, with each thrust, his tip hit your already warmed-up g-spot. You began to cry out, as the tense coil of another orgasm began to build. His eyes were enraptured as they watched your tits bounce at each thrust. Your fingers grazed over your hard nipples, pinching them a little, making his cock twitch inside of you. "That's it pretty girl, does that feel good?" he asked, as he lifted both legs onto his shoulders, penetrating you at an impossibly deep angle. "Yes, yes!" you cried, as you both began to come undone. "That's it honey, cum for me, cum on my cock baby come on.." he coaxed, as his fingers grazed your clit, igniting the flame of your orgasm as the second one of the evening broke. 

You screamed his name and clenched his cock as you came, pulling him down to you to kiss him, needing something to silence you lest you wake your neighbours. "I'm gonna.. can I..?" he stammered between your kisses. "Yes, yes please.." you cried, knowing exactly what he was asking permission for. He let himself jackhammer against your hips as he came inside of you, twitching, groaning and chanting your name over and over as he spilled himself into you. He kissed you sweetly as he fished his climax, and pulled out carefully. 

"Where's your bathroom?" he asked. "No, no don't go.. stay" you plead, desperate to lay in his hold. "Nuh-uh, I'm not letting you lay there in a mess baby, we can cuddle after. Let me clean you up" he said, firmly but with adoration. "It's the room at the top of the stairs, you'll see it" you sigh, thankful for his thoughtfulness as you feel his seed begin to leak onto the bedding. 

Moments later, he came back in with a warm, wet washcloth and a glass of water. He passed you the water to sip while he gently cleaned you, being sure to avoid any over-stimulation. Once he was satisfied, he threw the soiled cloth into the laundry basket and drew the covers from under you, covering you up before crawling in beside you. "That was.. holy shit" he said, pulling you into his chest and smiling down at you. 

"Can we, can we make sure we do this again?" you ask, your post-orgasm glow making way for thoughts of what else you were desperate to do with him. "Oh yeah, I'm not done with you yet, not by a longshot" he said, kissing the top of your head and reaching over to switch off the lamp on the bedside table. As you fell asleep in his arms, the knowledge of his return to the USA was the furthest from your mind. All that mattered, was the two of you, right there, right then. 

Chapter Text

Sleeping beside Joe felt right. As a light sleeper, you were inclined to turn and fidget in the night. Usually, your partners had stayed fast asleep, snoring open-mouthed directly into your face as you tried to settle back down. But Joe, feeling you unsettled, would each time reach for you, pull you in close and hold you until you fell back to sleep. You were never quite sure whether he was fully conscious as he did it, but the feeling made your heart warm regardless. 

When morning came, you stirred and stretched. You felt satisfied, comfortable - relieved that no lingering doubt or regret reared its ugly head, as it would so often do the morning after. You turned to face your bedmate, who was already awake and scrolling on his phone. When he noticed you wake, he greeted you with a sleep-hazed smile. "Morning" he said, voice gruff with sleep. 

"Morning" you replied, curling into his side. He locked his phone and held you, as you both let yourselves come around. He stroked your side softly, running his fingers over your curves. "You want a tea?" you ask him. "Uh, yeah sure. Want me to go make them?" he asked. "Nah, I need to get up anyway, if I hang around in bed too long I get restless. Even if you do make it pretty hard to leave" you chuckled, peppering kisses over the soft hair of his chest. "I uh.. I don't have much to do today. Maybe we could get back in it later?" he asked, pecking your lips. 

"That sounds perfect actually, as long as you help me pack" you say, remembering your upcoming festival performances now summer was truly underway. "Oh sure. What are you packing for?" he asked. "I have a couple of festivals on this weekend. I need to figure out what I wanna wear, get it packed along with an overnight bag" you tell him, not missing the disappointment in his eyes when he realised you'd be away. 

"Oh, cool. Yeah sure I can help with that" he said, raising out of bed and running his fingers through your hair. You let yourself watch unapologetically, as his nude form was lit perfectly by the morning sun. You already couldn't wait to have your hands over him again. He pulled on his underwear, shirt and socks and used the bathroom while you got yourself up. Your make-up had hardly been removed the night before, so you ran a cotton pad of make-up remover over your skin, and brushed your hair out. You threw on a long camisole top and went downstairs to put the kettle on. 

You went through the paces of making two mugs of tea, leaving one on the side for Joe when he was ready. You let yourself gaze out of the kitchen window into the garden, absently watching birds hop across the lawn. A peaceful morning, the sort you could definitely get used to. 

Your peaceful reflection was interrupted by your phone vibrating on the table. You rolled your eyes, tempted to ignore it. When you saw it was your manager Kate though, you thought it best to answer. 

“Hello?” you answered.

“Are you in a relationship Joe Keery?” she asked, deciding pleasantries could wait. 

“No, why?” you replied. 

“Because there’s been some photos of the two of you all over Instagram this morning. Were you out together last night?” 

“Oh yeah, he took me out for the evening. We figured there might be some pictures. Not like we don’t have mutual friends. Is it a big deal?” you ask, sipping your tea. 

“I don’t know, is it? I mean the press and fans of the both of you see pictures of two attractive, single young people and they put two and two together, don’t they? What’s going on between you?”

“It’s.. I don’t know! Something? We aren’t in a relationship like you asked. Are we dating? I guess so? I don’t know, we barely know ourselves!” 

“Are you fucking him?” she asked, lecturing tone replaced with something considerably more ‘gossipy’. 

“Kate!”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Does it matter?”

“Well that depends, we’ve had a couple of tabloids contact our office to ask for confirmation of a relationship. I imagine Joe’s had the same thing from his, or will when morning breaks over there. I know this is all new to you honey, but you can’t just… have relationships, you know? People get involved, especially when the two of you are in the public eye.”

“We’re just.. I don’t know! We both know things are going to change once he has to go back over to the US, we’re just having fun” you sigh.

“Alright, and that’s fine. Just talk to him about it. If you want to play things off as friends, then fine. It’s not gonna do anything bad for you or the band in terms of publicity, I’m just looking after you. It’ll pass, these things always do.” 

“I will, he’s uh… he’s here actually. I’ll give you a call later, okay?”

“Still there? Well, must’ve been a hell of a date!”

“Shut up. Oh Kate, do we still have a spare spot on the list for BeautiFest?”

“Yeah, why are you wanting him to come?” 

“I was gonna offer… is that a terrible idea?”

“No. Plenty of people will be there, probably won’t bat an eyelid. Let me know if he says yes and I’ll get his name down”

You thanked Kate and hung up the phone. She’d raised a lot of good points, about things you’d been pointedly ignoring. You opened instagram and did the thing you tried not to do. You searched for your own name. Before pressing search, you changed your mind and typed his instead. 

Your feed flooded with pictures of Joe. It’d been so easy to forget the fact he was such a heart-throb actor, after spending days with him in such… normalcy. Suddenly there were images of him as various characters, on red carpets, selfies with fans. And then you saw it. 

Images of the two of you, hand in hand around the theatre. You’d tried to blend in, which you’d have been able to do if you were alone. But on the arm of Joe, suddenly there was a spotlight in your eyes. 

You were surprised to find many of the pictures named you. It wasn't that you expected nobody to know who you were, but your name and the name of your band were plastered in the hashtags along the bottom of the posts. 

“Hey, you’ve seen ‘em too?” asked Joe, startling you, causing your phone to fly out of your hands and clatter to the floor. “Shit, sorry!” he gasped, bending to his knees to retrieve it. 

“Sorry, you were just so quiet I didn’t hear you coming. I uh… yeah I saw them. My manager just called me, grilling me about our relationship” you explained. “What did you tell her?” he asked, still on his knees - looking through the photos that still adorned your screen. 

“The truth I guess? I told her we went on a date, and that we’re having fun. They’ve had some press asking whether we’re together. Told her I’d call her back” you sighed, wishing there wasn’t a need for this type of conversation. 

“Well we don’t have to tell anyone anything. We confirm it, then they’ll think we’re dating. We deny it, they’ll think we’re dating. We walk out in printed t-shirts saying ‘JUST FRIENDS’?, they’ll think we’re dating. 

“Good point. I’m sorry this is all new to me. My ex wasn’t in the public eye so no one really cared and..” you began, but Joe stopped you with a soft kiss to your exposed calf from his position still on the floor. 

“We don’t have to do anything. They’re gonna talk so let ‘em. We’re having fun, and I’d like to keep having fun with you. I’d like to take you out… get to know you more… do more of this…” he said, punctuating each point with a kiss that made its way higher up your leg. 

You lent your head back, letting a sigh of relief wash over you, from not having to make a decision, but mainly from the feel of his soft lips leaving trails over the soft skin of your inner thigh. 

“I can’t get enough of you..” he growled, as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder and let his tongue lick a long, yet shallow lick over your bare pussy. “You don’t.. you don’t have to” you pant, though the heaving of your chest easily gives away your arousal. 

“And I won’t if you don’t want me to. But the entire time I showered this morning, I realised I was washing you off me, and since then I’ve been desperate to have you on me again” he whispered, looking up at you from between your thighs. 

The mix of lust and respect in his eyes made your legs widen of their own accord, wordlessly allowing him access to the place he longed to be. “So pretty, so perfect..” he said, letting a finger trace your folds, which were already quivering with want. “You’re gonna be the death of me” you moan, as your body yearned for more. “Then we’ll die together baby” he said, before diving into your cunt. 

You leaned back against the counter, one foot planted on the ground and the other still strewn over his shoulder, shaking as his body moved while he ate you out. He lapped at you hungrily, seemingly trying to taste you as much as pleasure you. Your back arched and you almost screamed when he added a finger to your hole, letting his mouth focus on your throbbing clit. 

Seeing him down there, on his knees for your pleasure was a sight you hoped you’d be able to get used to. You don’t try to hold back, to wait. You get his impeccable skills push you through to another orgasm, proving his abilities last night were not just a one-off. “Joe, shit.. I’m gonna.. Fuck!” you cried, as you felt a great pressure release. 

If you thought you’d drenched him last night, this was something else. As your orgasm ripped through your body, you squirted over his face. Before you had a chance to feel self-conscious about it, or worry about grossing him out, you felt his hands wrap around your thighs pressing his face deeper into you. 

“Yes! Baby yes, fuck, so good!” he groaned, lapping up everything you could give him. Whatever he didn’t catch dripped down into his chest, sticking the soft hair against his skin. You felt overcome with emotion, not bad, but something a little unusual. Like you wanted to laugh, cry, scream and shout at the same time. 

“I need you, please fuck me” you begged, as he emerged from the apex of your thighs, wiping his mouth with his arm. “You’re so good baby, I can’t believe you squirted over my face, that just… fuck I’m gonna need you to keep doing that” he growled as he stood. Desperate for him there and then, you turned your back to him and lifted your camisole.  

“Plenty of time for that later, I just… fuck I need you” you beg, unashamedly. Joe freed himself from his pants and entered you swiftly, your orgasm letting him slide in without any resistance. You leaned forward and gripped the worktop as he began to pound into you, gripping your hips as your skin slapped together in an obscene cacophony. 

It felt naughty, fucking in the middle of your kitchen, but you didn’t care. All your mind and body could focus on was Joe. “Turn around baby, need to see you” he groaned, pulling you towards him and placing kisses down your neck before spinning you around and lifting you to perch on the counter. “You are so damn beautiful, just look at you. Feel like a teenager again, not gonna last..” he stammered. “Give it to me, claim me…” you moaned. Your words were enough to tip him over the edge, as he stuttered and spilled into you, holding still deep inside as his cock twitched with the ebbs of his release. 

Fuck. Fuck! Why did you say that? Claim me? Two minutes ago you were worried about people knowing you were dating, and now you were asking him to claim you?! Where the fuck had that come from? You hoped he’d just brush it off as dirty talk, and not some sort of subconscious desire your mouth had thrown out before your brain had a chance to catch up. 

“I know I just got outta the shower, but do you wanna go back in with me?” he chuckled. “Yes, god yes. Are you saying that because you wanna get clean or because you wanna see me naked and soapy?” you ask him, stroking his back as he pulls out of you, hissing with the sensitivity. 

“Partly that, partly wanting to get clean, mostly just wanna make out with you in the hot shower while my brain comes back to life” he smiled, holding out his hand to guide you upstairs. 

******************************

After your joint shower, which as promised, was mostly spent giggling and making out like highschoolers, the two of you settled at your kitchen table over a plate of toast. “Sorry it’s not much. I feel like after that we need a little something more but this is all I’ve got” you said, taking a bite of a buttery slice of brown toast. 

“Are you kidding? This is perfect for me. What would you have preferred?” he asked. “Honestly, this is actually my favourite breakfast right here. I was just trying to show off” you laughed, pouring another coffee. 

“So, where do we start with your packing? What’s the festival like?” asked Joe. “It’s BeautiFest over near Reading on the Friday for a solo set on one of the smaller stages, then we go to London for a festival in Hyde Park, then back to BeautiFest for a main stage slot on the Sunday. I think we’ve got an artist camping spot there for the weekend, so just run to London and come back” you explained. 

Joe smiled at you, not a smile to cover something, but a genuine smile. “That sounds incredible, you’re really doing amazing, you know that?” he said, reaching to hold your hand across the table. It felt nice. Alien, but nice to have words of encouragement said so sincerely. Your ex hated to celebrate your success, seeing it as a competition between the two of you, desperate to one up you. 

Not Joe though. Joe continued to smile at you, as you muse over your coffee. “Do you wanna come? I have a spare pass for the weekend, we’re set up with some really nice tipis, going to make a weekend of it. What do you think?” you asked, with bated breath. 

“Are you sure I wouldn’t get in the way?” he asked. “Oh god, no. Plus I think you’d really like the rest of the band, they’re sweet. They also won’t give us any shit. Amy, on drums? She once brought Harry Styles to a party we were having. None of us really knew what to say, so we’ve kinda carried that on ever since” you chuckled. 

“Styles huh? They were together?” he asked, an eyebrow raised. “Nah, never saw him again. Not with her anyway. They were uh… ‘having fun’” you said, quoting yourself from earlier in the morning. “Well, sure that’d be great. When do we go?” he asked, excitedly. “There’s a car coming for me on Friday morning, plenty of room for one more” you reply.

Before you could wonder if this was a little too soon, your phone rang. Kate, again. “Shit, it’s my manager. I said I’d call her back and got a bit distracted..” you say, grinning at the blush that ran up his cheeks. “She’s asking you about what we’re saying to the press?” he asked, playing with toast crumbs on his plate. “That’s what I’m guessing”. 

“What are you gonna tell her?” he asked. “Fuck, I don’t know? What do you want me to tell her?” you asked. “If it were my manager, who’s probably due to be waking up in the next hour or so to call me about the very same thing, he’d probably advise we just don’t say anything. People are gonna think what they want to think, no point addressing it” he said. 

It made sense, and gave you a little peace of mind, knowing you wouldn’t have to rush into anything. “Alright. Look I’ll take this upstairs and start getting things together. Can you put the plates in the dishwasher and come up?” you asked. Joe gave you a salute, and turned to get started. 

As you began to climb the stairs, you took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hey, sorry I got distracted” you apologised. “Uh-huh? No prizes for guessing what, or who, distracted you” replied Kate. 

“We’re not addressing it, before you ask. Just don’t respond to anyone asking for a comment. Is that okay?” you asked, the conviction in your statement waning with every word. 

“Of course it’s okay. Probably for the best, until you know exactly what’s happening. I was actually calling about something else” said Kate. 

“Has something happened?” you asked. 

“Yeah, but you’re gonna like it. I just had a call, and… well are you free on Saturday 28th June?” she asked. 

“You tell me Kate, it’s a bit more your job than mine” you chuckled, smiling at Joe as he entered the room and began picking through some of the outfits in your wardrobe. He picked out a particularly silky strappy dress, in a deep plum colour. 

“Well if you’re gonna be like that, I might not tell you” she huffed, but you could hear the smile behind her dramatics. At this point, Joe had draped the dress over himself, and was goofing around, swaying his hips provocatively. Giggling, you mimed taking photos of him, as he played up to your imaginary camera. 

“I’m sorry Kate! I don’t have my diary with me, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have anything that far. Can you just tell me?” you plead, trying to stifle a cackle as Joe added a pair of sunglasses to his ensemble. 

“You’re playing the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury next year, you melon!” she replied. 

For a moment, time stood still. Even Joe, having heard her words through the phone, paused his messing around. “I’m sorry, did you just say we’ve booked the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury?” you asked, sure you’d misheard her. 

“Yep, Pyramid Stage baby! Line-up’s still being worked on, but it’s looking like you’ll be on just before the Saturday headliner’s set” said Kate. 

“Holy fucking shit, you’re playing Glastonbury?” grinned Joe, casting his fancy-dress to the side and taking your free hand in his. 

“Is that Joe? He’s still there? Jesus woman, this really isn’t a one night thing, is it?” said Kate. 

“Holy fucking shit” you echoed, laughing in disbelief. 

“Look, I’m gonna let you go and process this. I’ll call the others now. Well done baby, you deserve this” she said. You thanked her and hung up, letting the phone slip from your hands onto your bed. 

“Baby, this is incredible!” whooped Joe, sweeping you up into his arms. Finally, it had sunk in. At least enough for you to finally lose the confusion and disbelief, and finally get excited. “Oh my god, I’m playing the main stage. Fuck, I’m playing the main stage!” you cried, tears flowing down your cheeks. 

“You alright?” he asked, wiping the salty streaks away with his thumb. “Yeah? Yeah, I am. It’s been my dream since… well forever. Since Charlie and I went when we were eighteen. We’ve played before, smaller stages but this. Fuck, this is it, isn’t it?” you choked through the tears of joy. 

Joe held your face in his hands, and smiled at you; taking his time to let his eyes rake over your face, as if memorising every curve, wrinkle and mark. “I am so proud of you” he said, before pulling you into a sweet, but emotional kiss. His soft lips pressed against yours, saying more words than either of you could manage at the time. 

“Well, we better get you ready for the weekend. Glastonbury’s a year away and we’ve got some celebrating to do!” he laughed, drying your face and holding you in close. 

*******************************

It wasn’t a long drive to the festival, once the car was able to bypass the general admission queues and head down to the artist entrance. You’d played more festivals than you could remember, but this was one that had you particularly excited. This time, you were staying and getting the chance to enjoy it. Sure, you were leaving for a while tomorrow, but it was straight back to watch music, see friends and enjoy your time with Joe. 

Once you were in, and showed to your tipi’s - you introduced Joe to the rest of the band. “This is Amy, on drums. Frank on bass and Dan on lead. Guys, this is Joe” you introduced. Your bandmates, without you even asking, greeted him as if he was any ordinary guy, which you were immensely grateful for. 

“Hey man, how are you?” greeted Frank. “I’m good, this place is real nice. Is this what festivals are like in the UK?” he asked. “Oh fuck no. We pulled some strings and got weekend tickets in the artist’s VIP camping. You can probably get a few pre-erected tents out there but for the most part, it’s 3 people in a 1 man tent, lukewarm cans of Fosters and mud and/or shit” laughed Dan. 

The area you were in was small, but roomy. A cordoned off area with crisp white canvas tipi tents, adorned with multicoloured bunting and fairy lights. Security was stationed at each entrance, and the block of toilets and showers looked, dare you say it, pretty nice? 

Amy pulled you aside to whisper into your ear. “So you and Joe?” she asked. “Yeah. I’m calling the Styles code of silence on this. Officially we’re friends but..” you began, but she nodded in understanding. “I figured as much when you mentioned he was coming. We were supposed to be sharing but Kate said they had someone cancel, so I got one to myself. So you two can have your privacy” she winked, leaving you chuckling and shaking your head as she sauntered off. 

You watched on as your bandmates chatted with Joe, Dan taking any excuse to talk through his gear with someone who was equally as keen to listen. 

“I was wondering when you’d arrive!” said Philippa, your resident tour manager. “Pip! Hey I didn’t know you were coming” you greeted, happy to see your friend. “Kate asked me to come keep you guys in check, and make sure your three sets go alright. We’ve got you booked in for an interview with BBC Radio 6 in about an hour and a half, it’s being filmed too so I’ve got some hair and make-up coming in about 10?” she said, reeling off your schedule for the day. 

“Your gear is already over at the stage, they’ll check it for you. We’ve got another interview before you head on stage for that and then you’re on at 7” she continued. You checked the time on your phone screen. 12:30. So much for having time to hang with Joe and the rest of your friends. 

“Okay, let me drop my bag off and pick something to wear. Send make-up in when they arrive?” you say, nodding at Pip as she walks away to take a call. You saunter over to the rest of the group and catch Joe’s eye, motioning him to join you with a barely perceptible tilt of your head. 

You find the tipi that had your bags placed at the entrance and walked inside, hauling your luggage. You never were a light packer. Heaving a suitcase up on to the bed, you take a second to look around. In the middle of the space was a plush kingsize bed, dressed with soft cotton sheets and pillows that were just begging you to lay your head down. More bunting was strung up along the canvas walls, with boho rugs strewn across the floor. There was a small dressing table with a mirror, plug sockets and a clothes rack. All in all, it was nicer than some of the hotels you’d stayed in. 

“Do you think these tipi’s are soundproof?” asked Joe, as he crept up behind you and wound his arms around your waist. “No, but I also think there’s going to be enough music around to drown out any noise we might wanna make” you purr, letting your ass grind into him. His grip on your hips tightened, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. 

“What time are you on tonight?” he asked. “My set is at 7, but I just found out I’ve got interviews and make up and all sorts. I have a feeling I’m going to be pulled left and right today. You gonna be okay if we get separated?” you asked him. 

“Well, as much as I’d rather be with you, I think I’ll be okay. I’ve already been invited to a reiki workshop with Amy, and your second favourite Joe is here somewhere so I said we’d meet for a drink” he smirked, never letting you forget about your lust for his castmate’s character. 

“You’ll be there for my set though, right?” you asked, hating how needy your voice sounded. “I wouldn’t miss it sweetheart. I’ll come watch you from the wings. Don’t worry about me, seriously” he smiled. You turned to face him and kissed him softly, letting your hands trail up his arms. 

Of course, nothing good can ever last. “Oh, god.. Sorry we can come back!” squeaked a young woman wearing a leather toolbelt of make-up brushes, her hands over her face at the entrance of the tipi. You sighed and smiled apologetically to Joe. “Sorry, no come in. I’m ready!” you called, welcoming two women in to start on your hair and make-up.

“I’ll leave you to it, I’ll catch you later” said Joe, waving his hand in a gesture that paled in comparison to the kiss he wished to give you. Despite everything amazing that was planned for your day, your whole body ached to be with him again. 

That didn’t come until much later than anticipated. Between your scheduled interviews and other commitments, you were pulled into various conversations, additional interviews and photo-ops with fans. When you finally pulled away from the fuss, you realised you had no signal, and no idea where to find Joe. 

You hated to admit it, but his presence had become addictive. As soon as you weren’t together, you began to miss him. Not just his touch, his kisses and the sweet words whispered into your ear. But you craved the way he’d make anyone feel at ease, the way he’d talk animatedly about his favourite music, how as soon as he entered the room, you knew his eyes were only for you. You were in trouble, and you knew it. 

Deciding to take the most logical course of action, you and Pip made your way over to the stage you were due to perform on. It was rare you did solo gigs these days, so the nerves were beginning to get to you. You figured watching a couple of bands for a few hours might help settle your anxious thoughts. Plus, you knew Joe would be coming your way eventually, and you knew he’d make you feel like you were invincible. 

By the time you arrived, two bands were scheduled to perform before you. You helped yourself to a Jameson on ice and a crisp bottle of cold water, needing the dutch courage, but cautious not to get too messy before your set. You settled in the wings of the stage, seated on a fight case while Pip networked in the VIP bar area. 

People came by, watched with you, talked and wished you luck. After the first band, you refreshed your drink and looked around for Joe, but he was still nowhere to be seen. None of your bandmates were, who you assumed were with him. It wouldn’t really matter if your bandmates didn’t come. They hadn’t promised to, and they’d all seen you, and performed with you more times than you can count. 

But Joe - he promised he’d be there. He’d never seen you live, and he’d admitted to you the night before that the idea of getting to watch you up there, doing what you do best, was getting him a little worked up. The closer it got to your set time, the more worried you became. As the second act started, a sound technician came over to plug in your in-ear monitor feed, and give you a chance to talk through the set-up. You went through the motions, your eyes constantly looking over his shoulder. 

When the technician had finished, you took up your perch on the flight case again. You leaned your head forward, just enough to see part of the crowd. The stage was getting busy, thousands of people moving, singing, drinking and dancing. The sight would usually fill you with joy, but you couldn’t escape the bitterness beginning to stir in your stomach. 

“Someone’s here to see you” said Pip, tapping you on the shoulder. Your heart sang as you turned to face the figure behind her. “Hey, I made it!” said Kate, frowning as your face dropped. “Well, nice to see you too Kate..” she said, but her eyes bore a motherly concern. “Sorry, I.. sorry just wasn’t with it. Hey, I’m really glad you could be here!” you said, swallowing down your disappointment and standing to hug her. 

“What’s going on? You looked disappointed?” asked Pip. Kate looked around the wings of the stage, and over her shoulder into the bar area, exaggeratedly. “My guess, is that she hoped I was a tall and handsome American man, no?” she grinned. “I knew there was something between you! But I know you all have a bit of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ thing so I didn’t..” began Pip. 

“I don’t care that he’s not here! It’s not like we’re… it’s not like he has any obligation to me. We’re just having fun, and there’s a whole festival out there for him to enjoy. He can watch me tomorrow or Sunday” you scoffed, running your fingers through your hair. “You don’t sound too convinced by that” said Kate, sitting beside you on the flight case. 

Pip sat on the other side of you, and suddenly you felt like the younger sister, getting dating advice from her older, more experienced siblings. “Look between us, you can tell us. Are you a little disappointed he’s not here?” asked Pip. You rested your elbows on your knees, and held your head in your hands. “I… yeah? Is that really bad of me? He said he’d be here but there’s no sign and this act’s about to finish. Just thought he’d wanna be here, you know?” you sighed. 

Kate ran her hand over your back. You’re pretty sure this isn’t in her job description, but you’re glad she’s there anyway - both of them. “That’s not bad at all. If he said he was gonna be here, then he should be here. But tell me, if anyone else did this. If Amy, Frank or Dan said they’d come but got held up, would you be this pissed?” she asked. 

“No. I just want him here, I just want… Joe” you resigned. “Fuck, it’s not supposed to be like this! Just a bit of fun means just a bit of fun, I didn’t want to get this attached” you groaned. “Yeah, but sometimes we don’t get a choice. You can’t fight it, so you just need to be honest with yourself, and with him. Because the expectations you set for someone you’re ‘just having fun with’ and something more than that are very different, and I think you’re starting to blur the lines. I know you. You feel deep and you feel fast, it’s what makes you such a good songwriter” Kate continued. 

You nodded your head. She was making a lot of sense. “Now, you and me - all three of us if you like, we can go for a coffee in the week and talk it all through. But for now, you’re gonna come with me, get a touch-up of your make-up and then it’s showtime. There’s a lot of people out there wearing t-shirts with your name on them, and you’re going to knock their fucking socks off, Joe or no Joe. Got it?” she said, with an affectionate finality. 

You hopped up from your perch and shook your limbs out. “Yeah, you’re right. They’re what matters, not Joe. Not anyone else. Come on, I want him to see the pictures of me later and kick himself for not coming” you grinned, as the band began to walk off stage. 

A small team of hair and make-up artists, including the ones who’d walked in on you and Joe earlier in the afternoon flitted around you, adjusting your hair, and the razor sharp winged liner you’d opted for. You felt good, powerful. You’d picked an outfit of a loose fitting Pink Floyd t-shirt, with a low plunge cut into the neckline. You’d paired it with short shorts, fishnet tights and a pair of patent leather doc marten boots. 

A stylist took a look at you, his eyes looking up and down your body. His hands hovered around the DIY neckline, and he looked up at you for permission. “Can I adjust this a little?” he asked. You nodded, and he tore the fabric just a little more, flattering your cleavage and revealing just a little sliver of deep red lace of your bra. “Looking good honey” he said, holding up a mirror for you to take a look in. 

He was right, you looked gorgeous but more importantly, you felt it. You felt good, and itched to get on stage. Pip led you back through to the wing you’d been waiting in, and despite yourself, you did look around to see if Joe had arrived. No one new was there, and the other wing remained empty. Swallowing down the self doubt, you picked up your guitar and stood, bracing yourself to go on. 

This was it, this was your dream and you’d be damned if you were going to let anyone else get under your skin in a way that might effect the show you’d put on. You were living the dream, and you’d do well to remember that. With a nod from the stage manager, you stepped out on to the stage to a roaring crowd. Despite it being one of the festival’s smaller stages, the place was packed, and finally your brain began to truly silence. 

You launched straight into your first song. An upbeat opener that sounds great solo. Your heart sang as you looked out at the faces of the people in the crowd, singing along to every line, a song you wrote on the floor of your teenage bedroom. The final chords were ringing out to your opening number as you let the cheering and applause die down. You greeted the crowd and took a moment to really look out. Kate was right, there was a lot of your merch out there, even though you weren’t the only act on that evening. 

In front of you, beyond the barrier were a team of photographers. You bent in front of them as you began your next song, figuring you’d help them get a few good shots. Once it was time to get up and back to the mic, you let your eyes wander to the very front right hand side. Screaming, applauding and cheering were a familiar group of people. 

Amy

Dan

Frank

…

And Joe! 

Your prior resolve dissipated as you beamed as his presence. He gazed up at you, eyes filled with pride and adoration. His being there lit a fire under you, that you hadn’t realised you needed. You stepped up and gave 110% to your performance. You watched and laughed as he sang along, taking photos and videos on his phone, and subtly blowing you kisses from his hidden corner. He stood before Amy, Dan and Frank, you assume for a little anonymity. 

The rest of the set passed in a blur of joy, sweat and pride and soon you were walking off stage, desperate for a drink of water at the end of the set. As you did, you noticed Joe sprint towards the back of the stage. Soon enough, he stood before you - arms wrapped around you. 

“That was so fucking great! You beautiful, talented woman oh my god!” he gushed, pulling your lips to his, not caring who might see. “I’m so glad you were here, I didn’t.. I didn’t think you’d come” you panted, out of breath from the singing and the kiss. “Thought I’d watch from down here, see the full thing and not just a side view. But look, we can talk in a second, I think they want a little more” he said, as finally your ears tuned into the roar of the crowd who were asking for more. 

“Go get ‘em. I’ll be right here” he said, kissing you again, grinning as a smudge of your lipstick remained on his lips. 

Chapter Text

The weekend served to fuel the rumours of your and Joe’s relationship. You continued to play it off as friends, but the two of you barely left each other’s sides. Joe travelled with you to your other show, and back for your final performance of the weekend. You danced, drank, sang and laughed for an entire weekend. He felt like an extension to yourself after a while. 

Which is why your first day parted in a long while, left you somewhat longing. Joe’s agent had scored him a shoot with a high-end London fashion house, a big pay day for a day’s work standing around looking pretty. And oh god, was he pretty. 

You woke in your bed alone for the first time in a while, and while it felt nice to stretch out, it suddenly felt very lonely. Set for a day of working on music with your band mates, you crawled out of bed to prepare for the day. Once showered, dressed and fed; you took the tube into central London. Your label had booked you some studio time, and expected to hear some demos by the end of the summer. 

You felt revitalised, with new music flowing through your brain. Joe had ignited a spark in you. Your last album had been on heartbreak, bad relationships and finally getting out. Suddenly, your lyrics were all about new beginnings, learning to trust again and new love. 

It wasn’t that you loved Joe. No. How could you? It’d barely been any time at all, and the ever impending date of his return to his home was looming over your relationship. But you were certainly feeling things that’d been alien to you for so long. 

Arriving in the studio, you were greeted by your band mates and Kate. Before you could even finish with the greetings, Kate came in with some news. “Alright, so we’ve got another tour booked and ready to go. We’re going to play on getting the hype up ahead of your Glastonbury set. You’ll have a couple of TV appearances once the album is out, you’ll tour up until that, and before you know it we’ll be back in festival season. I’ve already got quite a few interested” she said, reeling off dates and venues of the tour as if it were a shopping list. 

“Hold on, when are the dates?” you asked. “You’ll start in mid-October, tour the UK then a couple of dates in Europe followed by ten USA dates” she said. You were thrilled, and your band mates murmured excitedly. It was a busy schedule for the year ahead, but it was the last year of your current contract. After that, you’d be free to make music and book tours when you want to, not because the label wanted you to. Perhaps even a schedule which could afford a relationship…

“... are you listening?” asked Amy. Your brain snapped back to the present moment, and you smiled apologetically. “Sorry, just thinking about it all. What were you saying?” you asked. “I was asking whether you had any songs for us?” she replied, and you realised Kate had left the room, and you were being ushered into the studio. “Uh, yeah I do actually. Joe and I were working on something the other day. I have a demo on my mac, let me show you” you began, slipping the laptop out of your bag. 

“He’s songwriting with you now? Must be getting serious” joked Dan. “No, not songwriting with me just… helping me get it together. I did the same for one of his new songs” you said, rolling your eyes at the question. 

“Oh yeah, a little show me yours, I’ll show you mine?” he continued, but backed away when you gave him an icy glare. You played them the track you’d recorded haphazardly in your living room, and it went down well. The rest of the day was mainly spent finishing the composition. Each band member adding their own takes, crafting their parts and polishing it. You busked your way through a handful of other numbers, leaving only when the studio was due to close. 

As you walked back out into the humid summer air, you checked your phone for the first time in a couple of hours. You couldn’t help the blushing grin that befell your face when you opened your messages to find a message from Joe, complete with a selfie of him looking devastatingly handsome in a suit jacket, with a tank top underneath that bore a deep v-neck, showing off his plentiful chest hair. 

Joe: How’s it going? Do I look like a total tool or no? 

You giggled and responded.

You: I’d think of a witty response, but you actually look really good. It went great, got a few things recorded. I’m heading out for some dinner with a few of the guys before heading home. When are you done?

You sent the message and slipped your phone into your pocket, walking beside your bandmates and a few members of the crew. You listened passively as you walked through Kensington to an east Asian restaurant. 

“Can I ask how things are going between you and Joe?” asked Frank. “You can, mainly because you’re not making a joke out of it. Things are going great. He’s sweet and treats me really well. He’s hot, he’s already friendly with my family” you reply. “Why do I feel like that sentence is leading into a ‘but’?” he asked. 

“But it can’t last, can it? He’s going back to filming, then I’m back on tour. We’re based in different countries for gods sake! Am I just setting myself up for a really sore goodbye?” you asked him. All the worries and concerns you’d been bottling up, finally coming spilling out. 

“Yeah, maybe. Or it’s the start of something new for you? Things are going well for you, and I’m pretty sure he’s loaded. You can travel, spend your down times with each other. If that’s really what you want it to lead to?” said Frank. 

“It’s a big sacrifice though, a big time commitment for someone I’ve been… seeing… for under a month” you countered. “I guess it depends on how much you want to keep seeing him. It’s a lot for someone you’re just sleeping with. But if it’s more than that, then I think it’s worth thinking about something more” he replied. 

You sighed. He was right, but was it too soon to tell? Your relationship had burned bright and fast, faster than anything you’d ever experienced. Could you really make that sort of call yet? “Look, I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve seen you in love, or at least I thought I had. When you finally got out of your shitty relationship I realised you hadn’t been yourself for years. Finally, I had the old you back. When you started seeing Joe, I’ll admit I braced myself for losing you again” admitted Frank. 

“But thank fucking god, look at you. You’re writing some of the best music I’ve ever heard from you and you’re grinning like a teenager after her first kiss every single day. It’s okay to admit you’re falling for him. I mean I would” he continued, grinning cheekily. “He just makes me feel so… good. Like today is the first day we’ve spent apart in days and I’m already missing him. But I can’t tell him, can I? What if it scares him away? What if he doesn’t feel the same?” you asked. 

You approached the front of the restaurant, and the two of you paused before walking in. “You remember when we came to watch your solo set at BeautiFest?” he asked. You nodded and he continued. “We took him around the site, had a couple drinks. You wouldn’t believe how many women were all over him. Or tried to be anyway. We even bumped into a model for Victoria’s Secret in the VIP bar. But his eyes never lingered for a second. He was so antsy to get over to the stage to see you”. 

“That man could have any woman he wanted. He could have had anyone’s number, men and women alike. But he left them all behind, to stand at the front of the stage and watch you with eyes that practically had hearts in them. He looked like such a lovesick puppy that we all stood around him before anyone could get a photo of it. The man is clearly infactuated with you, so if you feel the same, and there’s an impending ‘deadline’ - you need to tell him” he said. 

Frank gripped your hand and gave it a squeeze, before leading you into the restaurant, where the rest of your party waited. As you took your seat, you checked your phone again. 

Joe: They want to do some night time shots in a park somewhere, so won’t be done until like 11:30. I miss you. 

Miss you? You can’t help the warm blush that took over your cheeks. For a moment, you allowed yourself to believe what Frank said, perhaps he was feeling this just as much as you were. 

You: I miss you. Come over later?

His response came back almost instantly. 

Joe: You sure? It’ll be pretty late. 

You: Come by. If the light’s on, then you can come in. If not, walk on past and head to Charlie’s. 

You put your phone back in your bag, acutely aware that the rest of the table was already ready to order. 

********************************

You were home by 11:00pm, and though you hadn’t heard back from Joe - you were hopeful you’d see him tonight. You rushed your shower and skincare, putting on a soft silk slip. Impractical to sleep in, but enticing for anyone who might join you in bed. 

11:30pm came and still Joe hadn’t been in touch. By midnight, you were struggling to keep your eyes open. Your phone sat on your bedside table, no messages coming through. Again, you felt yourself slip in to an unfortunate mood, where you missed him and were annoyed at him for not contacting you, while simultaneously being annoyed at yourself for feeling that way. 

You scolded yourself, irritated that you’d allowed yourself to be upset over his absence. It was becoming harder and harder to remember that Joe was not your boyfriend, and had no obligation to you. You’d left the lights on downstairs, a beacon of promise to Joe should he come over. The chances were becoming less and less likely as the time wore on, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to go down and turn them off, removing the invitation. 

During your contemplation, you must’ve fallen asleep as you awoke to the sound of your doorbell. Startled, forgetting everything you lay there still - convinced a visitor at this time would be nothing but a danger. The doorbell went again, followed by a knock. Then you heard it, Joe’s voice calling your name. 

Finally remembering, you slipped out of bed and shuffled downstairs to let him in. You opened the door, the cool breeze prickling at your skin. “Hey! I’m so sorry I’m so late I didn’t think you’d still be up… wait were you asleep? Did I wake you up?” he asked, as you ushered him inside. You nodded, yawning to hard to give a worded answer. “I’m so sorry! I just saw the light was on and assumed you were still awake. I can go if you…” he stammered, but you stopped him, a warm smile taking over your face. 

“No, I wanted you to. I just fell asleep waiting. Why were you so late?” you asked him. “The shoot went on pretty late, and then while I was headed to the tube, this happened..” he said, holding out his phone with a shattered screen. He tapped at the broken glass, the screen refusing to light up. “I’m sorry I couldn’t let you know I was on my way” he said, placing the useless device down on a side table. 

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here” you said, body desperate to get back into bed. Your tired mind barely noticed that you kept talking. “I was really sad when I thought you weren’t coming. I miss you now. When I’m not with you I’m sad. Is that crazy?” you asked. “You do huh?” he asked, his voice low as his hands snaked around your waist. 

“Is that a bit much?” you asked, realising your sleepy state had drastically reduced your internal filter. “You are never too much. I can’t get enough of you” he smiled, kissing you with a deep passion that made your legs go weak. “Take me to bed” you moaned, letting him carry you upstairs, your legs wrapped around his waist, your bare sex rubbing deliciously against the rough denim of his jeans. 

Upstairs, his hands traced your body, as if memorising every curve. He dragged your slip up over your head, his cool fingers tracing soft patterns over your peaked nipples making you shiver. “I need you” he groaned, tearing off his own shirt. You managed a breathy ‘please’ as he unbuckled his belt and shed the rest of his clothes. You lay on your back, gazing up at his form as you felt yourself get wetter and wetter. Lit only by the small beside lamp, his toned arms and narrow hips made him look like only the gods could have carved him from the finest marble. 

He looked down at you for a moment, cock already hard and twitching. His eyes roamed over your body, checking you out as much as you were him. Finally, he stalked towards you and crawled over you, strong arms encasing your body, cock brushing against your entrance. “You’re already ready for me, huh baby?” he cooed, letting a hand drift down to feel for himself. You nodded, arching your back with desperate want. 

“I need you” he repeated, “Can I take what I need? Can I give you what you need?” he asked, kissing the sensitive skin of your neck. “Joe, please. Please..” you panted, your begging turning into a low groan as he sank into you slowly, letting you feel every inch sink deeper and deeper. He began to set a pace, slow and steady, but allowing himself to be buried to the hilt every time. 

“Beautiful, so beautiful. You’re so good. Does that feel good honey?” he whimpered, letting the words tumble from his lips as the two of you became one. “So good, god I’m so glad you’re here. Missed you. Needed you” you responded, your body and brain becoming mush as you get what it had so desired. 

As he carried on with his thrusts, you began to realise that he wasn’t ‘fucking’ you. All the times you’d had sex before, he was fucking you then. Even when it was slower, more precise, it still burned with an urgent passion. You tried different positions, spoke filth into each other’s ears, went hard, fast and dirty. But this time was different. He wasn’t fucking you, he was making love to you. You didn’t realise there was a difference, or at least you hadn’t until now. 

This felt like the two of you were living each moment, cherishing not only the sensation, but the intimacy. You gazed at each other, soft smiles on your faces as pleasure built and built. Your heart began to swell at how much Joe had begun to mean to you. Not just physically, but his presence. You slept better with him beside you, mornings were less lonely sitting beside each other on your phones, eating toast. Gigging was more fun when he was watching. Writing music that sounded better than ever, because it was inspired by him. 

Suddenly, the joy and affection turned sour, as - yet again; you remembered the distance that was soon to part the two of you. You weren’t too sure of his upcoming schedule, but you knew he had a lot coming. You too, had an album and a tour. Based in different countries, with families and friends tying you there, would it ever really work between you if an entire ocean lay parting you? 

You felt a tear well in your eye, and blinked it away, brushing it off as a groan of pleasure. You couldn’t tell him how you were feeling, not now. It wasn’t the time, and it would no doubt lead to a conversation you weren’t yet ready for. Instead, you writhed beneath him as his pace began to stutter. He came inside you with a groan, and though you’d be ashamed if he ever knew, you faked your orgasm too, knowing your head was too loud to let you climax authentically. Your heart was pounding as the future so quickly obliterated the joy and contentment you were feeling just moments before. Joe kissed you and pulled out, taking a moment to clean you up before laying in bed beside you. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, noticing your quietness. “I’m good, just sleepy” you lied, letting him turn off the light and wrap his body around yours. As he lay holding you, you finally let tears fall. It was too late to stop it, you’d completely fallen for Joe, and in a few short weeks you’d lose him. Could you really continue to bury your head in the sand, or was it time to break it off before any more heartache? 

*********************************************

Your tears had exhausted you, and you fell into a long and dreamless sleep. When you finally awoke, your bed was empty. On the table next to you, a note - like some old-fashioned pre-smartphone romance movie. You remembered the state of Joe’s phone as you sat up and let your eyes focus on the scruffy handwriting. 

‘You were fast asleep, didn’t want to wake you. Gone to change and get a new phone. I’ll call you when I have it. Sleep well angel x’ 

You smiled, though that ache of a loss you haven’t even felt yet reared its ugly head. Putting the note aside, you checked your phone and saw a couple of missed calls from your parents house phone. Worry kicking in, you called them back. 

“Hello?” your mum answered. 

“Hey, it’s me. Is everything okay?” you asked. 

“Hello sweet pea. Yeah we’re fine. I just wanted to check to see if you were still planning on visiting soon?” she asked. 

“Uh, yeah I am. Is everything okay? Is granny okay?” you asked.

“She’s fine, she really is. Sorry I didn’t want to worry you, only she’s booked in for some surgery on her hip next week. Wasn’t due to be until September but they’ve had some space open up. Do you think you can come soon so you can see her before?”.

“Yeah, yeah of course I can. I’ll be there soon. Can I… can I bring a friend?” you enquire, unsure yet of whether you actually would. 

“Of course you can. Is this a friend or a… more than friend?” she asked. 

You knew that tone of voice. 

“What have you read?” you asked her, knowing there was a question on the tip of her tongue. 

“Nothing! I know you’ll tell me the truth in good time, but don’t think I haven’t seen the pictures of you and that nice looking lad Charlie works with” she said, and you could just picture the look on her face. It made you smile, grateful she didn’t interrogate you as soon as she’d seed the photos in the press. 

“I’ll tell you everything when I see you. So it’s cool if he comes?” you ask. 

“Of course. Just remember though, if he comes with you he’ll have to pass the granny test. Hope he’s ready”. 

You thanked your mum, and made a promise to drive up the next day. 

After hanging up, it was time to call Charlie. 

“Hello?” he groaned. 

“Have I woken you up?” you asked. 

“Yeah. What’s up?” 

“Have you spoken to either of our parents?” you asked. 

“No, shit is everything okay?” he asked, sounding a little more awake now. 

“Yeah, yeah everything’s fine. She’s having hip surgery next week, so I’m going to visit tomorrow and stay for a couple of days. Did you wanna come?” you asked him. 

“I’ve got a screen test in London tomorrow, but I’ll see her after you. She’s okay though?” he asked. 

“Yeah, sorry didn’t meant to worry you. Just checked to see if you wanted to come and share the driving”

“Why don’t you take Joe?” he asked. 

“I might. Mum said it was okay”

“You’ve talked to your mum about him?” 

“Not really, but she’s seen things. She knows there’s something there. I’ll talk to her about it when I see her.”

“You know he’s really into you, don’t you?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I am too. I just… thinking about how it’d work when we’re both back working is kinda throwing a spanner in the works isn’t it?” you admit. 

“Look, you know I don’t often get soppy with you, and I’m far too tired for it. But don’t do this. Don’t let yourself sabotage something good because you’re worried it’ll get tough. I can see how much both of you are falling for each other, and while it makes me sick, it’s nice to see, as someone close to you both. Just.. don’t make any decisions. Take him up to Leeds, enjoy yourself. Then talk to him. Work out your schedules and stop over thinking it” he said, his stern authority making you smile. 

“God, you’re bossy when you’re tired” you retort. 

“Don’t wake me up with something that could be a text then” he said, but the words held no actual anger. 

After saying goodbye to Charlie, you got ready for your day. Rearranging some recording sessions and a magazine interview, you took your car for fueling. On the drive back, Joe called. Answering via the car’s hands-free, you smiled at the sound of his voice. 

“Guess who’s back in the land of the cellphone” he greeted. 

“You never told me what actually happened” you commented, driving through the slow-moving traffic. 

“I saw a rat eating a whole sausage roll. I wanted to take a photo because… well it’s funny. Only I was on the staircase leading down to the platform and I dropped it. Rolled all the way down. Rat never even flinched” he laughed. 

“Jesus christ, no wonder it was shattered beyond repair. What are you doing now?” you asked him. 

“I was about to ask you the same question, you busy today?” he asked. 

“No, I was actually going to ask if you wanted to take a trip with me?” you asked, biting the bullet. 

“Sure, where are we going?”

You smiled at yourself, at his instant willingness to follow you. 

“Leeds. Bridlington mainly, but Leeds to stay with my parents. Wanna visit my granny”. 

You explained the situation with your grandmother, and Joe was instantly happy to come along. “You and Charlie have told me so much about this woman, I really can’t say no to that. You sure your parents won’t mind?” he asked. 

“My mum has seen pictures of us together plastered over social media. She’s desperate to meet you” you told him. 

“What did you tell her, about us?”

“Nothing, not yet. I’ll probably tell her the truth though, I don’t think she’d believe anything else. Is that okay?” you ask. 

“More than okay. I uh… I actually mentioned you to my mom yesterday, when she called. She really wants to FaceTime us some time soon. Would that be okay?” he asked. 

“Wow, we’re really meeting the parents now aren’t we? Of course, I'd like that” you smiled. 

“Yeah I guess we are. I think we’ve let things get a little further than casual” he said, as a question or a statement you weren’t too sure. 

“Yeah, I think so. Is that… is that okay?” you asked. 

“Nothing’s ever felt more right. How do you feel?”

“Me too. I… I really really enjoy being with you. I…” you struggle to get the words out. 

“I have feelings for you too. I know it’s quick, it’s burned bright and fast, but I really want to see where things go. I’m not say go public, but maybe… shit we shouldn’t really be doing this over the phone” he laughed. 

“No, go on. Maybe what?”

“Maybe be… fuck this sounds so cheesy. Be… exclusive?” he asked. 

“Oh the all-american boy returns huh? Is he asking me to go steady?” you teased. 

“Oh god, fine yeah! Yeah I’m asking you to go steady and be my prom date. Seriously though, I mean I know we never talked about it but I haven’t even thought about accepting any numbers, or seeing someone else. I really feel strongly for you and I wanna give this a shot, if you’d like that?” he said in earnest. 

“I would like that. I’m having a lot of fun being with you and I.. I’m also very disinterested in anyone else. Are you like… my boyfriend now?” you ask, body fizzing with a warm excitement. 

“Yeah I guess I am. Can your boyfriend pack some stuff and stay over tonight before we leave tomorrow?” he asked. 

“I suppose he can. I’ll be back home soon, just come by. I’ll leave a light on again”. 

Chapter Text

TW - mentions of Dementia/Alzheimers.

“Why not? I can get insurance. I can drive a manual car, you know. Not all us Americans are totally reliant on automatic cars” Joe complained. “Because most of the journey is on the motorway, and you’ve already admitted to me you’re not used to driving a right-hand drive car. When we get there, and there are some rural roads you can play around on, then we can talk!” you laughed, shaking your head at his pout.  

Eventually, he resigned to being a passenger princess and settled on picking the music for your drive. London to Leeds was a long drive, but you’d planned your journey to avoid any rush hour traffic. You drove and chatted, sang and sat in comfortable silences. Halfway through the journey, the pair of you stopped for a comfort break at a service station just past Northampton. 

As he had become accustomed to, he walked in beside you, the pair of you wearing sunglasses and caps to stay as anonymous as possible. You toddled ahead to the toilet, while Joe took a look round the food options for lunch. When you emerged, he was of course surrounded by a group of fans waiting for selfies and autographs. You stood back and watched, catching his eye with a cheeky smile. As much as the two of you sometimes wished for a life where you could go about your business like anyone else, the two of you loved meeting fans. 

Especially Joe. You’d barely met a more modest man, especially not someone with such success. You watched on fondly, leaning against a pillar as he talked, smiled and posed for photos. You waited patiently as the crowd died down, and he made his way back over to you. “I’m so sorry, I had something in my eye so I took my glasses off and got spotted” he apologised. 

“Don’t worry, we’re in no rush. Do you wanna go wait in the car while I get us something to eat?” you asked. “No, it’s fine. What do you wanna eat?” he asked. “Have you ever had a Greggs?” you asked him. “No, I don’t think I have. What is it?” he asked. “Oh Joe, my boy you have much to learn if you’re going to have an English girlfriend” you chuckled, taking him by the hand and leading him towards the enticing savoury scent of Greggs. 

“I like that” he said, more to himself than to you. “Like what?” you asked. “You just called yourself my girlfriend. I liked it” he said simply. “Well, I am, aren't I?” you said, taking joy in finally feeling peace when thinking about the future. “You are. And I promise that I’m going to live each day making sure you never regret that decision” he said, holding you tight. 

You wanted to lean up and kiss him, but felt inclined to leave it until you were in private again. You’d only just made this new step in your relationship, the last thing you wanted was for even more press coverage before you could talk to your friends and family. 

“Well… here we are. This is Greggs, a British staple of cuisine” you said, watching his eyes bulge at the array of golden pastries on offer. “Oh right, I thought you were taking me to a restaurant or something. But this is… this is even better” he smiled. “This is a restaurant, look - food and tables. What more do you want?” you teased. 

“I can think of something else I’d rather eat” he said, gripping your hips close. “Joe, you know I’m normally the first to leap at the chance but this is serious. I need you to experience your first Greggs” you jokingly scolded him. “Alright, alright… just know whatever I have is gonna be second best” he smirked, but looked towards the glass cabinet. 

“So, what’s good?” he asked, as you picked up a pack of custard tarts to bring home for your Granny. “Well, is there anything in there you’ve had before?” you asked him. “I’ve had a sausage roll. But it didn’t look as good or as fresh as one of those” he said. “Well we’re definitely getting you one of them. Let’s see, here are my picks…” you said, the two of you giggling as you detailed in depth your favourite savoury pastries for him. 

It felt so domestic, so silly. You could be yourself, be silly with each other with no fear of judgement. Joe was beginning to feel like home. 

Finally, you shifted over to a table in the corner of the service station with your purchases. Joe had chosen a sausage roll and a steak bake, while you’d opted for a cheese and onion bake. “I feel like a proud mother watching her son take his first legal drink of alcohol, watching you have your first Greggs you laughed, as he pulled the piping hot sausage roll out of the paper bag. “Damn, okay mommy” he winked, and you swatted him over the table. 

You reached over for his phone and took a photo of him biting into the flaky pastry. He let out a low hum of satisfaction as he chewed slowly. You laughed and showed him the picture, his face of pure bliss quite the sight to see. “Holy shit, yeah okay now I get the hype around sausage rolls” he said, going straight back in for another bite. 

You ate and chatted, remaining unnoticed for the remainder of your rest stop. Back on the road, Joe seemed weirdly quiet. “Something on your mind?” you asked him. “I just got my call date for the rest of the Stranger Things shoot” he said. “When are you due back?” you asked him, chest restricting. “I have to be back on set for 31st July” he said. That was just over a month away.

“How long will you be filming?” you asked him. “Until October, not sure when. Depends on how long a few of the more complicated shoots take” he sighed. “You don’t seem happy about it?” you comment, not that you were super thrilled about it either. “I won’t be able to see you. Not a lot anyway. It’s a completely closed set, so you can’t come, and you’ll be recording and then touring once I finish my shoot and..” he started. 

In a weird sort of way, it felt good knowing he was freaking out just like you had been. “Do you have any plans for after filming?” you asked him. “I don’t think so, not until November when I start filming that movie I was telling you about” he said. “Well. Then you can come and visit me then. Plus I can come over, I mean sure I can’t visit set but I can do my own travelling, maybe play a couple solo USA shows which could be exciting. We can be together on your days off..” you said, trying to reassure yourself as well as him. 

“It’s gonna be hard…” he said, picking at the skin around his thumb. “... but I wanna do this. I wanna try”. “So do I. Look I don’t know how it’s going to go. I’ve been panicking about it myself since… well since before I really should have. We’re gonna be okay, right?” you say, placing your hand on his, which had made its way to grip your thigh with a reassuring tightness. “We gotta promise each other that we’re honest. That if it gets too much, we speak up. Okay?” said Joe, clearing his throat as he held back the raw emotion threatening to break through to the surface. 

“I promise” you replied, praying you’d never have to. 

****************************

The rest of the drive went smoothly, the tone of the conversation getting a little brighter after your talk about Joe’s return to America. You drove through the streets of Leeds, where your parents now lived. You expected them to stay over in Bridlington when they retired. The sleepy seaside village was the perfect place to retire. But to your surprise, they decided to move to a town house on the outskirts of the city centre. 

You pulled up to their house, and parked on the street - taking up one of the few remaining spaces. You both climbed out the car, stretched and walked to the boot of the car to retrieve your luggage. Joe leaned in and pulled out your case, followed by his own. As you took yours, you turned to see your mum heading towards you. In your excitement to see her, you reached behind you to close the boot. 

But instead of hearing it slam shut, you heard a sickening thud, followed by a cry of pain. You turned and you saw Joe bent double, the boot you’d just slammed hitting him in the back of the head. You gasped and rushed to help him inside. 

Tears began to well in your eyes as you started rapidly apologising to him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you’d gone back in there. Are you okay? I’m so sorry” you blurted, helping him to the couch in your parents living room. “It’s okay, it really is, I’m fine” he said, but you could tell he was in pain. 

“Jesus, if you wanted to get rid of the poor lad there’s better ways of doing it than trying to kill him you know, love?” said your Dad, his booming broad accent making Joe chuckle. “Now’s not the time. Are you okay sweetheart? Let me get you some ice hang on” said your Mum, ever the mother hen. 

“I’m fine really. Just clocked me a bit. I’m fine, please don’t cry” he said, seeing a stray tear fall down your cheek. “I’m sorry, I feel so awful. I just didn’t see you. Let me feel, are you bleeding?” you asked. Joe took his hand from his head, and thankfully, no blood coated his fingers. You placed your hand gently over his head and felt a sizable bump already forming. 

“Shit, that feels bad. Do we need to take him to A&E mum?” you asked, as she returned. “No sweetheart. We’ll keep an eye on you, but as long as you don’t have any double vision or sickness I think you’ll be just fine” she said to Joe. “Now, I don’t have any ice in the freezer at the moment, so you’ll have to have frozen peas. I’ve wrapped it in a cloth because the bag’s open so just watch yourself” she said, handing him the bundle. 

“Thanks so much. I’m fine really. I’m Joe by the way” he said, hissing as the cold peas pressed against his head. “Oh we know, we’ve heard a lot about you from the kids” said your Dad, referring to you and Charlie. Despite Charlie not being his, and the two of you being in your thirties now, he never grew out of calling you ‘the kids’. 

“We’ll have a chance to chat and have introductions properly later. For now, you need to rest. We’ll head out into the garden, we’ve some bits to do and you need some quiet. Keep an eye on him, okay?” said your Mum. You nodded and watched them leave the room. 

Turning to Joe, you helped him lay back on the couch, sitting on the floor beside him. You opened your mouth to speak, but Joe stopped you before any words could come out. “Please, don’t apologise again. It was an accident and I can tell you’re really beating yourself up about it” he said, reaching to rub your shoulder. “Alright, I know. I’m just worried about you” you admit, placing your hand over his. 

“This is nothing, one time Caroline tried to climb up a chest of drawers. The whole thing toppled over, right on to little me. I swear, my Mom was so relieved I was actually alive I got away with anything and everything for a whole month” he chuckled. 

You passed the time sharing stories of your childhood injuries, accidents and troublemaking, pausing only for tea breaks. To your relief, Joe’s pain died down and he was declared fit by your parents to join them in the garden for something a little stronger. In the late afternoon sun, warmth still kissing your skin, you watched on as he charmed your parents. It felt like he fit in already, like this whole time, you’d just been patiently waiting to meet him. 

After dinner, some drinks and card games - a staple in your family home; it was time to retire. The drive had been long, and the stress of having potentially caused brain damage to your new boyfriend had really taken it out of you. As you opened the door to the spare room, it was like stepping back into a time capsule. 

Though this wasn’t your childhood house, your parents had moved everything from your bedroom, and put it in the new place. Though your walls no longer had posters cut from magazines, hand-drawn sketches and printed photographs from high school, all the furniture, books, even the bedding was the same. 

“This place looks like it’s straight outta 2010” he laughed. “You’re not wrong. I moved out in 2013, and they never redecorated. I never took all my old stuff so it just got moved. It’s kinda nice though, makes it feel like whenever I do come home, I can be a kid again. When it all gets a bit much, I come here, lay in bed and listen to all the songs I had on my iPod. I know it sounds sad” you say, tracing your fingers over the young adult fiction novels on the bookshelf. 

“Not sad, it’s sweet. I do the same thing when I go back to see my parents. Or I would, but my old room has long since become an office room. But when I’m back there, me and my sisters still sometimes hide out in the attic. We used to sit up there and drop things down the hatch to land on our parents” he laughed. 

“Your sisters sound great” you say, as you start to undress for the evening. “They are. You’ll love them, and they’ll love you. I can’t wait for you to meet them” he said softly, as he helped tug your t-shirt over your head. “You think I can come meet them?” you ask, the thought of having to travel over to see him already making your heart sink.

“I swear, first time you come over we’ll have a famous Keery barbecue. They’re famous because my Dad usually sets fire to at least two items of food, more booze is consumed than on the 4th July and Lizzy makes this incredible pudding that’ll make your eyes water” said Joe, wistfully. “Sounds great, count me in” you hum, as he pressed kisses down your exposed back. 

After the two of you had used the bathroom, you crammed into your ¾ size bed. It was snug, but cosy. “Sorry, I forgot it was a small bed” you chuckle. “I’m just glad one side’s pressed against the wall. At least I’m not at risk of falling out” he joked, pushing you towards the side of the bed, while keeping a firm grip on you to ensure you didn’t actually roll out. “How’s your head?” you asked him. 

“Never had any complaints from you, that’s for sure”. 

*************************************** 

The next day was put aside to take Joe to the place you and Charlie had grown up, Bridlington. It was a small seaside town, popular with families for days out in the summer, but a forgotten landscape of closed-down shops in the winter. You drove you both across the county, and came to a stop in front of your Grandmother’s cottage. 

You turned to look at Joe, effortlessly handsome in an adorable, dorky way in his small round glasses and striped t-shirt. “Are you ready?” you asked him. “Kinda sounds like you’re preparing me for war, is she that bad?” he asked. “No, she’s not bad. I don’t think that woman has a bad bone in her body. She’s just… a lot. She’s pretty excitable so she’ll fuss over you, a lot. And like Charlie said, her memory isn’t what it used to be. I’m kinda worried she’ll start forgetting who we are” you admitted, your hands tapping on the steering wheel anxiously. 

“It’s horrible, and I know nothing I can say will make it any better, but you’ll kick yourself down the line if your time with her while she’s still doing sorta okay is ruined by your anxiety” he said, rubbing calming circles on your thigh. You nodded, blinking back tears as one hand rested on his, and the other played with the necklace Charlie had passed on for her. 

“Come on, I think she’s spotted us” he said, nodding towards the twitching curtain opposite. Gran would always keep an eye out of her curtain, and despite seeing you arrive, would always wait until you’d knocked the door before opening it up. Sure enough, it took her a couple of moments to open the door as the two of you huddled together, the sea breeze surprisingly chilly for the time of year. 

“Hello darling!” she greeted, wrapping her stout arms around you in a bone crunching squeeze - she was surprisingly strong for her age and stature. “Hi Granny! I’m so happy to see you” you smiled, breathing in her signature scent - a perfume your grandfather would buy her every christmas without fail. Since his passing, your family always ensured she had a supply, but as she refused them as a gift, you’d taken to leaving bottles in her cabinet which she seemed to except. Seems it was less painful that way. 

“And who’s this handsome gentleman you’ve brought me?” she asked, pulling Joe in just as she had with you. You giggled as his eyes widened at her strength. “This is Joe, he’s Charlie’s friend and my uh… my boyfriend” you said, still feeling a little weird saying it aloud, so soon. It felt nice, but scary. 

She broke her hold and looked up at him, studying him as if you’d just told her he was made of precious metals. “He’s a fine lad, does he treat you well?” she asked, but her eyes remained on him. “It’s still really early Gran, but yeah he does. Besides, you know Charlie would’ve had something to say if he didn’t approve” you chuckled. “Cup of tea?” she asked him. “I’d love one, thank you Mrs Heaton” he nodded. 

That seemed to please her. “American huh? Well that’s a good start accepting a brew. But for the love of god, please call me Christine” she said, turning back into the house, allowing you to follow. She lead you into the kitchen, where teacups and biscuits were already laid out on knitted placemats, ones you were fairly sure had been passed down from her own grandmother. She began to pour hot water into the teapot, which on it’s own was a relief to see. Your grandmother was never one for airs and graces, but she would only ever drink tea from a teapot. 

“So, Joe - what do you do for a living?” she asked him. “I’m an actor, I’ve been in a show with Charlie. Couple of other bits and movies too. I also play music” he replied, trying his best to come across as someone she’d approve of for her granddaughter. “Oh, Charlie got the show?! I know he auditioned, he came over to borrow some of your uncle’s old cassette tapes from the 80’s to get into character” she said, placing the teapot in front of you and taking a seat. 

Your eyes caught Joe’s, and a quick shake of your head told him everything he needed to know. “Uh yeah I’m gonna be in that too. Playing a classmate of his character. Gonna be big, I can feel it” he smiled. “What about you darling, what’s new with you? Are you still playing music? You know Joe, that one was born with the ability to play music I swear” she gushed, patting your hand gently. 

“Yep, got another tour later in the year, going to do another album. I’ll come over and play it to you when it’s done. Only if you promise to stop trying to sing along” you laughed. “I can’t help it! She gets it from me you see, only my parents never nurtured it. I was destined to be a housewife and God rest your grandfather, but if I hadn’t then I don’t know what would have happened to him. You know when I met him, he didn’t even know how to post a letter” she sighed, beginning to pour the tea.

For the rest of ‘tea time’, the conversation was devoid of any more memory lapses from your grandmother. You drank, ate biscuits and enjoyed her grilling of Joe when he revealed to her that he knew her (surprising) celebrity crush, Ryan Reynolds. “Oh I tell you what, that man could do whatever he liked to me” she said, wistfully. “GRAN!” you exclaimed, covering your ears. You were no stranger to her lack of filter, but it was never the most comfortable experience, hearing your Gran talk about sex, lust or even just swearing. 

“For heaven's sake, I’m widowed, I'm allowed!” she said, swatting at you with a tea towel. “It’s like 4:00 am over in LA but I can give him a call later, see if he can say hi. Might even take you up on your offer Christine” Joe chuckled. “Jesus, this is not happening!” you groaned, taking another biscuit to eat your feelings away. 

“Oh come on darling, you’re a grown woman now, we can talk about these things! Joe here doesn’t mind, do you?” she asked him. Joe shook his head and grinned at you, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “See, he doesn’t mind. I’m sure you’ve done plenty of x-rated things together” she continued. Joe choked on his biscuit as your jaw dropped to the floor. “Christine Heaton, will you please stop it! I know I’m a grown-up but that doesn’t mean..” you begin to say, but she’s not finished. 

“... I mean I hope you are. Look at you both, gorgeous young ‘uns. If you’re not exploring your bodies together then you’re being damned wasteful. When me and your Grandad were your age..”

You stood from the table, adamant you’d put a stop to this once and for all. “Shall we go to the living room?” you said, clearing the dishes to the side before making your way through the cottage. Joe and your Gran followed after, giggling at your dramatics. 

Inside the living room, you felt like you’d really stepped back in time. Other areas of the cottage had changed, due to various necessary repairs. But not the living room. The carpet, the walls, the gas fireplace remained exactly as it was when you were a child. You observed the discoloured patch of carpet from when Charlie threw up one Christmas eve from eating too much chocolate, the old-fashioned sofa set that bore felt tip marks and the photographs on the wall and cabinets of yours and your cousins.

The latter of which caught Joe’s eye immediately. “Oh my god, there she is!” he exclaimed, picking up a particularly damning school photo of you in a silver frame. “I know, wasn’t she a little cherub?” cooed your Gran. “Wasn’t she just? Look at that little gap tooth smile, that’s my girl right there” he said, holding the photo up to sit beside your face. 

The photograph showed you at around 7-8 years old. A school photograph, with your hair in perfect pigtails, grinning the biggest smile possible, showing off your missing teeth. Most of your adult teeth were coming through, but one of your top front ones, right in the middle, seemed to take longer than the others, leaving a gap in your smile all the way until you were 11. 

“Alright, I was an ugly kid. Can we look at some nicer ones please? Look, there’s a baby one, or the one of me at my graduation. Or what about bad ones of Charlie?” you said, trying to redirect the attention. “Honey, you were not an ugly kid, you were adorable. Look at her, I know we’d have been friends if we were in school together” he said. You opened your mouth to tell him off for teasing you, but you realise you saw no sign of jest in his face, or mockery in his voice. “Seriously, looks like you’ve always been cute” he said, finally placing the photo down to step towards you and place a kiss to your forehead. 

After a tour of the family photos on display, the three of you sat down at last. “Gran, why did you give me this?” you asked her, pulling the necklace out from your chest. “Oh good, Charlie didn’t forget. Darling, I keep telling all of you that I’m on my way out. And I might as well give you things myself than just write them down in a will” she said matter-of-factly. 

“Come on, don’t say things like that” you say, begging her to stop. “No, come on I’ve had a good life, and I’m not bad enough to not notice that my memory’s going. I’m getting confused, my hips are giving out and I can barely make it upstairs without needing a sit down immediately after. So I’ve been sorting things out, making sure things are distributed evenly. I know you always loved that one” she said. 

“I’m sorry, I just don’t like to think about you being gone” you sniffed, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye. “Come on now, we’ll have none of that. I’m not dead yet, and I’m always happy for the company. Come and see me any time. Especially when you’re bringing eye candy like him” she joked, winking at Joe. You laughed through your tears, your love for the woman overflowing. 

“I’m sorry I’m away so much. I have a tour in the US coming up but I can try and cancel or move it?” you say, but your Gran throws you a look. “Don’t you bloody dare. Don’t be putting your life on hold because of me. I’ll be here a while longer, and I want to hear all about your adventures. I’d be asking about all the american boys you meet but looks like you’ve only got eyes for one, huh?” she said. 

You agreed not to change your plans, and spent the rest of the afternoon with her taking turns with Joe to tell stories from your jobs, Joe still taking care not to mention Stranger Things. She listened intently, enjoying being able to experience everything through your words. After a while, she began to yawn and her eyes started to droop. 

“Anyway, I think we’d best get going” you said, standing from your seat. “Sorry darling, I just get tired out easily. It’s been a lot of excitement, but I’m ready for some supper and my bed I think” she said. “Can I do anything for you before we go?” you asked her. “No, it’s fine. You head out, take that man of yours down to the seafront for a chippy tea” she said, pressing a £10 note into your hand. As always, you try to refuse her money, but predictably, she insists you take it. A habit from when you were a child that she just hasn’t been able to shake. 

You say a fond farewell, and so does Joe. Again, she hugs both of you with such force, you swear your ribs were cracking, and waves at you on the doorstep until she’s out of sight. “Are you okay?” asked Joe, as you drove silently through the streets you knew so well. “Yeah, it’s just hard seeing her age. Like, I know it’s an inevitability, but… I’m sorry you definitely didn’t sign up for this when you agreed to come with me” you apologised. 

“Please, don’t be sorry. I’m glad I was there, and I’m even more happy I got to meet her. She’s… a real character but in the sweetest way. We can talk about it if you want?” he said, resting his hand on your thigh. “Maybe later? I just wanna focus on the good parts for now, and try to stop worrying. Plus, Gran’s orders - I’m taking you for a chippy tea” you said, turning on the radio to sing along to Queen’s ‘Killer Queen’. 

Rather than bringing him to the main seafront, where holiday makers would no doubt be hounding the two of you (mainly him) for pictures and autographs, you pulled up to a side-street in a residential area, parking outside a small local Fish and Chip shop. “Wait here, I’ll go in and then I’ll take you somewhere special” you said, taking his order before jumping out the car. Though you were in a much quieter area, you still knew Joe’s presence would cause a stir that neither of you wanted. You opted to go in alone, where most of the regulars wouldn’t blink twice at you being there, as you had been most of your life - pre and post fame. 

While you waited for the food, you looked out at the car, watching on as Joe took a call. You noticed his demeanour change, he began to look agitated, like whoever was on the other line was giving him a hard time. You tried not to look, you wanted to give him his privacy but you couldn’t help but worry, as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Your attention was grabbed by a bag of food wrapped neatly in paper packages was pushed towards you. As you stepped out and towards the car, Joe hung up quickly. 

“Everything okay?” you asked him. “Oh yeah, uh, just Caroline. Told her I’d call her later” he said, dismissively. You knew something was wrong, either it wasn’t his sister Caroline, or what she had to say was not good news. Either way, you felt a little slighted that he didn’t want to tell you, but pushed the feeling down. He’d tell you when he was ready. 

“Where are we going?” he asked, as you placed the hot bag of food on his lap. “You’ll see” you said, keeping him in suspense as you drove towards the cliffs. 

******************************

You and Joe sat side by side on the soft grass at the top of a quiet yet windy cliff. The sea rolled far beneath you, and the distant sounds of the promenade would carry over the wind from time to time. You ate with your fingers, grateful for the napkins and hand gel in your car, and talked idly. 

“This is so beautiful. You’re beautiful” said Joe, breaking a few moments of comfortable silence. “You’re smooth, you know that?” you giggled, letting your body shift closer to his as he wrapped an arm around you. “I’ve been told that. Never by someone who I cared that much about though” he said. “You care about me?” you asked him, feeling your stomach flutter. 

“What gave it away?” he joked, before continuing. “Of course I care about you. Why would you ask that?” he said, gently. “No, no reason. You’ve never given me cause to think otherwise, I just… I don’t know I guess it’s just nice but new to hear it said aloud” you contemplated. 

“Sweetheart, ever since I started falling for you, there’s precious little I’ve cared about more..” he said, before gasping slightly at his accidental confession. You turned to look at him, unable to stop your face from forming into a grin. “You are?” you questioned, praying he wouldn’t take it back. “Yeah. I know it’s all moved so fast, but I think I started to feel something for you from the moment I met you. And it’s cool if you don’t feel the same way, I know I can let my heart get away with me sometimes but…”

“I’m falling for you too. I tried not to, because I know it’s going to kill me when we have to go back to working in different countries, but fuck… I just couldn’t help myself” you admitted, moaning softly into the kiss he pressed to your lips. 

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that” he said, holding you close. “Which is why what I’m about to tell you is going to suck”.

Chapter Text

You stared at him, blinking slowly. His words and his tone made your stomach drop. It was the sort of thing people say before a piece of really bad news is about to fall from their lips. “What is it?” you asked eventually. 

“I had a call this evening from the production manager for Stranger Things. They’ve had some problems with scheduling and are bringing the rest of the shoot forward. I have to fly back in three days” he said, his eyes trained on his hands, which were absently picking at blades of grass. 

“How long will you be over there?” you asked him. “Assuming we’ll be shooting for the same amount of time, probably until the end of September, maybe a little into October?” he sighed. “...which is when I start touring” you said, realising your window to see each other that’d been on the horizon had been snapped shut. 

“I thought you’d still be here for a while, at least another month” you said, not as a question, more as a statement of the time you were beginning to grieve. “I know. So did I. They’ve booked me a flight in three days, I get two days at home to pack up and then I head straight to Atlanta for filming” he said, swallowing deeply as if trying to quell the rising emotion. 

His hand drifted towards your knee and rubbed soft circles, a light gesture as if suddenly he wasn’t entitled to hold you. “I’m sorry. It’s the first time I’ve not wanted to get back to work, I just… I don’t want to leave you” he said, his eyes finally meeting yours. “It’s your career. Never apologise for your career” you said, giving him a reassuring smile which never quite made it to your eyes. “It’s a closed set, but I’ll have some time, can you still come visit me in Atlanta?” he asked hopefully. 

“I… I can try? I mean we’re supposed to be back in the studio in September to lay down the start of the album. But I can get a schedule from Kate and try and book some flights” you said, but you knew it would be difficult. You were still a slave to the label’s time and money. If they wanted you in on certain days, that’s when you’d be in. It felt like you were doing bar work all over again, slave to the rota written by someone tucked away in an office. 

Joe snapped his fingers, an idea hitting him. “Come and record in Atlanta! There’s some amazing studios out there, I think James Brown opened one or something” he said, but his excitement waned as he looked at your face, unconvinced. “I can’t ask the others to uproot their lives, and come with me to record in Atlanta for a few weeks. They have partners, families, and other projects!” you said, frustrated. 

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to think of something” he sighed, and you immediately felt guilty. This was hard for him too, and you were both getting a little too in your feelings. “I know, sorry it’s just… fuck. I’m really gonna miss you” you said, letting him pull you into a tight embrace. “Me too honey, me too. We can work something out. Plus once we’ve finished with the projects we’ve already signed off on, we can pick things that work for us. We can make it work, I promise” he said, brushing your hair from your face before kissing you fiercely. As if sealing his oath to you. 

Unaware, or uncaring of how much time passed, you sat in his embrace, legs wrapped around his as your hearts sung to each other through your kisses. They flowed between sweet and soft, to passionate and hard, his hands never leaving your body, making sure you knew he was there. You tried to remember every little moment. The soft gasps he would make when you ran your fingers through his hair, the scent of his cologne which was just so ‘him’, the way he would break your kisses to allow you both to catch your breaths, while he held his forehead against yours, rubbing your noses together gently. 

You looked at him and tried to memorise every mole, smile line and curve of his face. The way his small round glasses made him somehow even more attractive. “Say my name” you breathed, barely realising you’d said it aloud. “Hmm?” he questioned, not quite understanding. “Say my name, I want to remember the way you say my name” you said, closing your eyes. “I’ll still be able to call you, I’ll talk to you every day. You don’t need to worry about forgetting me” he said, but as he saw a single tear stream down your cheek, his heart broke and he knew it was just what you needed. 

He spoke your name, softly, simply. As if he was learning a word in a new language, and was trying to get used to the pronunciation. He said it again, this time with more confidence, more affection. He kissed you and repeated your name over and over. Telling you he thought you were beautiful, that he was glad to have met you, that he dreaded being apart from you. Each time, using your name purposefully. Giving you sound bites you knew would keep you company when you went back to sleeping alone. 

“I have three days, what do you want to do?” he asked. “Can we go home? Back to London I mean? I kinda don’t want to share you. I feel like things have gone so fast, but there’s still so much we haven’t done, haven’t talked about. I mean I don’t even know what your favourite animal is, or when you lost your virginity, or who you’d invite to your dream dinner party” you said. 

He chuckled, stroking the side of your face. “Okay, three very different questions and I promise to answer them all and more. If you want to go back to London then that’s what we’ll do. I can take my stuff outta Charlie’s if you want? I guess I’ll be seeing plenty of him and Nat. If.. if you want me to that is?” he asked. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to spend every moment you had left together, before going long-distance. 

It was decided, Joe would move in to yours for the precious last few days he would be in London. You packed up the car and drove back to your parents, deciding to drive back early the next morning. You drove in quiet, a quiet which you tried to break - desperate to make the most of having him there, but in your need to speak, you found words were hard to come by. So you listened to the radio quietly, your mind loud. 

*********************

Back at your house, you pottered around alone, while he went to Charlie’s to gather his things. You tidied, did laundry and ordered some groceries so there’d be enough for you both for the rest of his time there. When you were finished, you sat in your silent living room and dialled Kate’s number. 

“Hey, you alright?” she answered.

“Hey, I’m okay. Listen, do you have the finalised schedule for recording for us yet?” you asked. 

“I’m pretty close to having it, why?” 

“Uh, I’m trying to book in a little trip away that’s all”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

“Don’t bullshit me - you sometimes forget that I know you better than most. Something’s wrong, and the fact you’ve called me to ask me this rather than texting or emailing speaks for itself. So come on, what do you want to talk about really?” she asked. 

You sighed. She was right, of course she was. You didn’t realise it, but clearly your subconscious knew you wanted to talk to someone. 

“Joe’s going back to the states sooner than he wanted. He’s going in two days” 

“Shit, I’m sorry. So you’re working out when you can see him?”

“Yeah pretty much. Its sounding like our schedules won’t line up, so the best we can do is for me to visit Atlanta while he’s filming”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad, right? See how the show’s made, meet some of the other people Charlie’s told you about?”

“It’s a closed set, no one unnecessary in or out apparently. It’d just be his evenings, whenever he doesn’t have night shoots, and whatever days off he has” you sighed again.

“And that’s something you want, is it?” she asked. 

“Well of course not, it’s the furthest thing from ideal. But if it’s that or not seeing him until Christmas at the earliest, what am I going to do?”

“No I don’t mean that. I mean, are you sure you want that? A life of trying to work not just around two busy schedules, but two different countries? Different time zones? That’s a lot of work for a relationship that’s less than a month old” said Kate, her voice soft, but stern. She knew you needed to hear this, even if you didn’t want to. 

“It’s not going to be forever, Kate! It’s just that we’re not aligned right now. His stuff’s moved, we’ve just been booked on a tour. But after that, when we can pick things a little easier, and if we stay together longer, maybe one of us will move” you tell her.

“But how are you going to grow your relationship to that point when you’ve so much between you? Honey, I love you and if that’s what you want then go for it, you know I’m never going to get in your way. But really think about it. Is having a distant version of him, one that you miss more than you see, better than a ‘one that got away’?” she said. 

Her words stung, but she made a point. One your brain had been trying to make for you, but you kept pushing down. You sat in silence for a few moments, desperately trying to argue her point, to find a reason why she was wrong, but she wasn’t. You knew this all along, you knew that one day, sooner or later, time, distance and work would get in the way. 

“Kate..” you said, choking back a sob. 

“Oh sweetheart, you’ve got it bad for him, huh?”

You sniffled a few times before responding. 

“I’ve never felt like this before. I know it’s fast, I know it’s also probably incredibly stupid but fuck - he feels like he might be my person. I never felt this way with anyone else, not even in the earliest days. That’s got to mean something, right?”

“Maybe, and maybe not. It’s summer, you’re both young and stupidly attractive. I’m saying this as a friend, but are you sure it’s not just a summer fling?” she asked. 

“No! Flings are usually just sex, right? It’s not like that with us”

“You’re not fucking him?”

“Kate! Yes, I am, but that’s not everything. We talk, we write music, we… he just makes me feel like finally I could love again”

“Do you love him?”

“I feel like I could. It’s too early for me to say that. I can’t let myself until I know this is going to work” you said, voice cracking. You felt foolish, like you were seeking advice about your very first relationship from your older, more experienced sister. Your problems felt small, and maybe in the grand scheme of things they were. But in your world, right now, your heart was beginning to tear in two. 

The one half, desperate to hold on to Joe, to make things work. To change a sleeping pattern to be able to speak to him. A half set on taking red-eye flights to spend the weekend with him, or driving to Heathrow to collect him at 3 am for 48 hours of him. 

Then there was the other half, building solid brick walls to stop itself from being shattered in two. To bring on the heartache which felt inevitable, to break it off before things could go any further. A half that listens to reason, to logic. A half that knows you’ve worked too long and hard for your career, that you’d regret almost killing yourself to keep it and your relationship. 

“I can’t tell you what to do. I wish I could, and believe me, you know I’m no stranger to bossing you around. But this is something you gotta do on your own. Just… do what you want. Not what you think he might want, and not what you think I or the label would want. Follow what you think you need. It might not work out, but at least you know it’ll all have been on your terms” said Kate. 

“Thank you, and sorry. I know you’re busy” you say, wiping your sniffles and tears away with a tissue. 

“That’s alright. Look I’m finalising your schedule today. Let me take a look at it and I’ll try my best to make some time where you can get a decent break. Whether you choose to spend it with him, is up to you. I’ll send it over later, okay?”

You thanked her and ended the call, just as Joe walked in to your house, using the spare key you’d given him. Like a balm, just his presence soothed you. Though he was the source of your torment, he was also the sweet relief. You could lose yourself in his eyes, your mind and body looked after in his safe hands. You craved him and his safety for as long as you could get it. You couldn’t ignore it forever, but a couple more hours wouldn’t hurt. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, suspicious of your slightly puffy eyes and red cheeks. “Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just watched a sad reel on Instagram” you lied, as he sat beside you on the couch and pulled you into his arms. “You wanna talk about it?” he asked. “No, I don’t think so. You manage to get everything?” you asked. “Yeah, I packed light. I just left everything in the hall, I’ll move it outta the way later, What do you want to do?” he asked. 

“Honestly? I think I want a shower and a nap. Is that okay?” you asked. “Of course baby, you go up and shower, I just need to answer a couple emails and I’ll be up for a nap. Nap sounds good” he said, neither of you getting the best night’s sleep at your parents the night before, their house a real heat trap. 

You showered slowly, taking the time to run shampoo through your hair twice, and condition it for a good five minutes. You shaved, exfoliated and brushed your teeth, washing away the thoughts and decisions you were pointedly trying to ignore. When you were finally finished, you towel-dried your hair, leaving it in damp waves around your shoulders. 

In the bedroom, you put on a clean pair of plain black underwear, and looked around for a t-shirt to wear. Ignoring your wardrobe of clean clothes, you opted for a baggy t-shirt of Joe’s, which he’d left on your last night there together. You picked it up and inhaled is scent unashamedly, relishing his sweet, masculine scent that could instantly relieve your worries. You threw it on, grateful he owned something that sat a little larger on his slim frame, so you could wear it comfortably. 

You thought about getting into bed to wait for him, perhaps calling down to him or even texting him to join you. That was until you heard the soft tinkling on your piano downstairs, an unfamiliar ballad-like melody that lured you down to him like a siren's call. You padded quietly down the stairs and watched him from the doorway, as his fingers played around with figuring out whatever tune was in his head. 

Letting yourself gaze for a moment, you committed to memory the image of him in the early afternoon sun, shadows of the trees and windowframe dancing over the skin of his arms as he played, perfectly imperfect shag of hair swaying with his head as he felt the music flow through him. His glasses had begun to slide down his nose, and you giggled to yourself as he tried to continue playing one-handed to push them further up his face. 

It was domestic, it was beautiful, it was something very close to love indeed. 

“Enjoying the show?” he asked you, pulling you from your trance. “When it’s you? Always” you giggled, finally walking into the room to stand behind him, placing your hands on his broad shoulders as he continued to play idly. “What were you playing?” you asked him. “Just something in my head, it wasn’t exactly a Paul McCartney waking up with Yesterday practically fully formed in his head, but I didn’t sleep so well last night, so my brain started doing - well… this” he said, playing the part of the song he seemed to have worked out already. 

“It’s really good, sounds like it could be either a sad or romantic song, right?” you asked him. “Oh the latter, for sure. It’s about you” he said, shyly. “Me? You mean you’ve written me my very own ‘Something’ like a real George Harrison?” you asked him, hiding your blush with a kiss to the crown of his head. 

“I don’t think it’s gonna be quite as good as that, I mean it’s hardly formed yet. But, yeah, kinda? Is that weird?” he asked you, suddenly bashful. “No, not weird at all. I can’t wait to hear more of it. When it’s ready, can I?” you ask him. “Uh.. yeah of course. I mean only when it’s ready. I don’t think I could handle you hearing it, and hating it so it’s gotta be perfect” he said, finally stopping playing to spin around on the piano stool to face you. 

As you looked at his face, you could see his tired eyes from his broken night’s sleep. Truthfully, you didn’t sleep well either. It was hot, sure, but you both had an unspoken understanding of what was really keeping you awake. “You look really pretty” he said, placing his hands on the back of your thighs. “Pretty? I think I look pretty ropey to be honest” you laughed. 

“Nah, you’re kidding me? Look at you. You are so beautiful, and seeing you wearing my shirt? That does something to me baby” he said, letting his hands wander upwards to rest on your backside. “Oh really? You like when I wear your things? You’ll have to leave plenty here to feature in all the dirty selfies I’ll be sending you once you’re gone” you winked, letting him pull you closer, placing soft kisses on your stomach. 

“I’m gonna get dirty selfies?” he asked, looking up at you with a grin. “If you’re lucky, and I’m feeling particularly nice then maybe. Gotta make sure you miss me, right?” you say, fighting the way the idea of being parted once again made your heart drop. “Oh my god, you are just so… come here” he said, pulling you down for you to straddle his lap. You let yourself be pulled, but instantly felt like it might be a bad idea. “Joe, careful! I don’t know if this stool can hold both of us!” you squealed. “If it breaks, it breaks. I’ll get you a new one” he said, before kissing you with a ferocious want.  

When he put it that way, how could you deny him? You let his strong arms hold you, legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you deeply, taking a second to cast his glasses on to the piano with a thud, so they’d stop being in the way of your embrace. Things began to heat up as you felt his cock harden beneath you, constrained against the denim of his jeans. You let yourself grind into him, causing him to whimper softly into your mouth. 

His sweet, desperate sounds sent sparks flying across your whole body. To see how utterly and unabashedly he was at your mercy, your kisses and your body against him like a life vest in a tumultuous sea. You felt powerful, trusted, adored. “So pretty, so sexy, god I need you. I need you so bad” he groaned, placing hot, open mouthed kisses over your clothed breasts. 

“Take me to bed?” you asked him sweetly, eyes lidded with lust. “I might, or I might just take you here, really put the piano stool to the test” he said, keeping one hand around your waist, holding you tight while the other snaked between your bodies, to run his fingers over your pussy, already soaking through your underwear. 

“Baby, you’re so ready for me. I’m gonna miss this” he said, sinking a finger into your dripping hole, before pulling it out and sucking it clean, savouring your taste. “Don’t go” you whimpered. It wasn’t an earnest beg, not really. You knew he had no choice. His life and his work was over there, he had contractual commitments. But it didn’t stop the words leaving your mouth in a pathetic whine as you clung onto him. 

“I wish I didn’t have to. I’m so fucking sorry. We’ll make it work, I’m gonna make it work. Just give me a chance to show you we can get through it” he said, fingers back between your thighs. You nodded, scared any spoken words would come out with a crack in your voice. You let your head fall into his shoulder as he began to rub your slickness over your sensitive and needy clit. 

His fingertips, perfectly calloused from years of playing guitar, flicked gently over your throbbing bundle of nerves, hard enough to stimulate you, but soft enough to not be too much. “Almost, I’m almost…” you warned Joe, as he nibbled at your neck in the spot he knew would help tip you over the edge. You felt amazing, he made you feel so good, but there was something missing. 

“N.. need you inside me..” you managed to hiss out, brain practically turning to mush. You needed to feel him inside you, to tip you into the vertigo of bliss. You expected him to pull himself free of his jeans, and push inside of you, but Joe knew you wouldn’t be able to hold on long enough. Instead, he thrust his fingers inside you, deep and hard, making you cry out in surprise and pleasure.

As he pumped his digits in and out, making the most obscene of sounds in the quiet room, his thumb took over the ministrations over your clit, and soon you were quivering with your orgasm, fingers digging into his shoulders as you cried out. You couldn’t even attempt to hold it back, or worry who might hear through the open windows. You felt so many different feelings, that any self awareness was at the bottom of your list of priorities. 

Joe’s nimble fingers guided you down from your climax, and he held you, shushing you gently, the thumb on the hand holding your back rubbing gently. “You okay beautiful girl?” he asked, sweetly peppering your cheek with kisses until you turned to look at him. “I think I just came so hard I lost like, 50 IQ points” you chuckled, beaming at the way his body juddered with laughter beneath you. 

“Shit, really? I’m not too sure, maybe I’ll quiz you later” he smiled, brushing stray strands of hair out of your face. “You wanna go upstairs and sleep?” he asked. “No, I want to make you feel like I do right now, and then we can go to sleep” you said, wriggling gently to rise off his lap. But Joe had other ideas. He kept both arms wrapped around you tightly, and rose to his feet, holding you like a forward-facing backpack. 

“Joe!” you cried, giggling as he carried you with ease. “I’ve told you this before, you don’t have to carry me around, I can walk! Just about anyway”. “I know I don’t but you’ve been fucked so dumb I was worried you might’ve forgotten how. Plus, look how cute you are, all wrapped around me. How can I resist?” he growled, grazing his teeth over your chest and shoulders. 

Instead of carrying you upstairs though, he changed his mind and paced back towards the sofa, laying you down gently. Before you could do anything else, he pulled your underwear off and placed them in his pocket. “What are you doing?” you asked, bemused. “These are coming home with me” he said, looking down at you like you were a long sought-after prize. 

“At least take a sexier pair!” you complained, wishing you’d put on something more incicing, lacy, pretty. “Are you kidding me? A pair of underwear, covered in you, all because of me? I couldn’t imagine anything, other than you, could be better to keep me company on the lonely nights once I’m back home” he said, unbuckling his belt and pulling himself free.

Finally finding the shaking of your legs had stopped, you pulled yourself to your feet and pushed him down to the sofa in your place, straddling him before he could regain control. “Well in that case, perhaps I better give you something to picture while you’re away too, huh?” you said, teasing his throbbing and leaking tip with your entrance, sensitive but still wet from your arousal. 

“Baby, fuck.. please” he begged, desperate to fill you up. You obliged happily, but that didn’t mean you’d be letting him get exactly what he wanted entirely. You set your place slow and deliberate, barely rising up and down, but grinding on him, feeling his tip press into the deepest parts of you. 

“See, I was gonna keep this t-shirt. Sleep in it until it stopped smelling of you. But now maybe I’ll let you have it back. Because whenever you see it, whenever you wear it - you’ll not be able to help but think of this” you said, punctuating your point with a more pronounced bounce on his cock, eliciting an unsuspecting squeak from yourself, and a guttural groan from him. 

“But please, wanna see you, want your pretty tits” he whimpered, hands lazily trying to pull the hem of the shirt up. Instead, you pressed his hands to your hips, letting him hold on while you continued to alternate between grinding and bouncing, the sensation making even your toes quiver. 

“Fuck, that feels so good. Mine, my girl” he growled, pushing you down onto his cock, making the tip reach that golden spot deep inside. “Mmm, yours. Yours all yours” you replied, beginning to unravel as he thrust his hips up to meet your movements, the pair of you working in perfect synchronicity to reach your goals. 

You began to feel hot, sweat prickling at the back of your neck. You were tempted to finally rif yourself of the shirt - but the thought of him seeing it, wearing it and picturing you while the other side of the world was all too good to miss. His hot hands dug into your soft flesh, strong forearms flexing deliciously. 

“Tell me again, tell me again baby, who do you belong to?” Joe repeated. You were taken aback by this overly territorial side of him - the idea of ‘belonging’ to a man hadn’t ever really appealed to you. But the way he said it, eyes full of a hunger which could only be satisfied by your body and heart, made you putty in his hands. You truly were his. 

“You, I belong to you. Fuck!” you cried, as he adjusted his angle, meaning with each grind your sensitive clit would rub against the thick thatch of hair at his crotch. It felt electric, the way each movement felt as if it was about to push you over the edge, yet each time it would continue to build. 

From the sweat on Joe’s brow and the stuttering of his hips, you knew he didn’t have much longer, so you knew it was time to go nuclear. You let go of him and continued to ride him, harder and faster than before, using your legs anchored under his to keep your balance. With your hands, you ran them over your chest, fingers tracing your hard nipples poking through the thin material. 

He watched you with eyes full of awe as you lifted the shirt at one side, pinching your pebbled peak. He launched forward and wrapped his mouth around it, sucking greedily. The sensation of his lips around you sent your orgasm falling around you, moaning and whimpering as you creamed over his cock. It wasn’t long before he was releasing himself into you, fucking you so hard the sofa began to make strained noises. 

“Oh, FUCK!” he cried, as his cock twitched inside you, milking every last drop from his throbbing member. “Oh baby, oh god, my love, fuck” he chattered as the throbs and pulses began to ebb. 

My love? Did he call you his love? It was the first time the ‘l’ word had been said between you, and while it wasn’t a declaration, it felt significant. A slip of the tongue which left a window to his thoughts and feelings. 

You flopped against his chest, breathing heavily as he slowly softened inside you. “Come on baby, let’s go upstairs” he said, picking you up once more. “You really don’t need to carry me” you said, but your sleepy and fucked-out voice betrayed the fact you really didn’t mind it. 

“I know sweetheart, but if I let you walk I think you’ll leave a bit of a mess” he smiled. You were confused for a moment, until you felt a tell-tale drip threaten to seep from between your legs. In a few moments, he’d laid you on the bed, and helped clean you up. After sorting himself out, the two of you climbed under the duvet, the bright day kept at bay by your curtains, a light breeze through the window caressing you into a desperately needed nap. 

You were barely conscious any more, sleep creeping in. He held you close and whispered “are you still awake?”. You heard him, but in your desperation to cling onto the sleep that was about to befall you, you remained quiet, breathing steadily against his chest. 

After a few moments of silence, he kissed the top of your head and whispered.

“Leaving you is gonna kill me”.

Chapter Text

The next couple of days passed in a blur, and before you knew it, you were pulling up to the drop-off car park at the airport, so early that the sky was still dark. The drive had been quiet, knots in the stomachs of both of you which meant talking didn’t come easy. Joe exited the vehicle first, lifting his cases from the back while you grabbed his carry-on from the back seat. 

“What time’s your flight?” you asked him. “08:15, so pretty soon but I shouldn’t need to run” he replied, as you helped pull his cases towards a luggage trolley. Suddenly things seemed awkward, as if you hadn’t spent the last 48 or so hours in sheer intimacy - physical and emotional. You’d talked, laughed, cried, moaned and climaxed. You’d been so close, you knew going back to your empty house would never feel the same. 

So why now, in the chilly morning air when the birds were only just beginning their song, were you both suddenly lost for what to say to each other. Once the luggage was loaded onto the trolley, you both headed towards the check-in desks. The airport foyer was eerily quiet compared to the usual chaos of the daytime, which only served to highlight the awkward tension between you. 

Finally, you both paused short of the check-in queue. You knew you could go no further. Once you said goodbye, that was it. You weren’t too sure when you’d see him again, but without a date in mind, it felt like forever. “I uh, I better get checked in and head towards the gate” he said, stepping towards you, hands on either side of your face. 

As much as you desperately tried to stop them, tears began to well in your eyes. “I can’t believe how much I’m gonna miss you” you said, voice cracking under the strain of your words. “I know baby, me too. I’m so sorry, I swear to you, I will come over, or get you over there as soon as I can, okay? We can make this work, can’t we” he said, but you weren’t sure if it was a question or a statement. 

“Yeah, yeah we can. I hope we can. I just… fuck it’s not even been that long but I already can’t imagine not seeing you every day” you said, falling into his arms. He held you tight, arms holding on to you as if you were a life saver in a stormy sea. “It’ll get easier. You’ll be too busy to miss me, okay? Plus we can call, message and Face Time! It’ll be like I was never gone” he said into the crown of your hair. 

“Plus, don’t forget all the dirty selfies you promised me, huh?” he chuckled, making you slap his chest in mock outrage. “You’d better reciprocate, alright?” you laughed, wiping your tears with the back of your hands. As you looked up, you saw his face equally as damp. “Look, this is gonna be a horrible goodbye, and nothing we can do is gonna make it not happen. So I’m gonna kiss you, then I’m gonna say ‘see you later’ and walk to the check-in desk and you’re going to walk back to the car, and not look back. You’re gonna get into your car, drive home and try get some more sleep. Okay? Promise me you won’t look back?” he said. 

“Okay” you sobbed, knowing he was right. Joe lifted your face with a finger under your chin and kissed you. It was soft and chaste at first, but then he deepened it, as if once he’d had a taste of your lips he needed more. His hands drifted down to your waist, while yours wrapped around his neck. For those few moments, it felt like it was only you two in the whole airport. It was only when his lips parted from yours, that the sounds of the rest of the world came back into focus. As he stepped back, licking his bottom lip slightly, savouring your taste; Joe smiled at you, his eyes twinkling with adoration. 

“See you later, beautiful” he said, before turning and pushing his trolley towards the check-in desk. You wanted nothing more than to stay exactly where you were, to watch him until he was out of sight, to cherish the last few moments with him. But you knew he was right, you needed to turn and not look back. 

Your feet lead you out of the sliding doors and into the still brisk morning air. The street lights illuminated the tarmac, slightly damp from the late night rain as you edged towards your car. Though there was barely anyone else around, you waited until you were in your car to let the tears fall. For the first time since the early days of your relationship with Joe, you really weren’t sure how this would work. 

**************************

Despite the mess of thoughts in your brain, you managed to drive back safely and fell straight into a dreamless sleep, in your bed which still smelled of Joe. When you awoke, you checked your phone. Or more specifically, the flight tracker app you’d downloaded. You weren’t so sure why, but it gave you peace of mind to see his flight still up in the air towards his destination. 

To stop yourself from checking the flight information or your messages compulsively, you threw yourself into writing and playing music. Running on tea and the occasional biscuit, you worked hard to polish off the couple of songs you already had on the back burner. Finally, just before you broke for a late lunch, a message came through from Joe. 

Joe: Just landed, waiting for my luggage x

You smiled to yourself, grateful that he’d thought of you. 

*******************************

One Week Later

It’d been a busy week, granted. Joe had a whistle stop visit to his home in LA to unpack and re-pack before shooting back off to Atlanta to finish the Stranger Things series. He’d been busy trying to fit in other friends and family, as well as adjusting to yet another time zone. You’d been in the studio, beginning to lay down the tracks to the new album. 

For the first few days, the two of you had played phone tag, missing calls and texts due to your busy schedules, or simply from being asleep. On Wednesday, you finally got through to him on a FaceTime call. 

“Hey!” he said sleepily, eyes wincing at the screen. “Oh shit, did I wake you? I’m sorry, did I fuck up the time difference?” you asked him. You were apologetic for the disturbance, but couldn’t help the smile on your face at seeing his sleepy, handsome features you’d missed so much. “No, no it’s like 11am here I just slept in. A couple of friends came over last night to see me before I head back to Atlanta and we kinda drank more than I thought” he admitted. 

Ah, so that was why you hadn’t heard from him. You tried to keep the bitter disappointment bitten behind a tight smile. Joe was allowed his time, and to see his friends. God knows you’d had him all to yourself for a couple of weeks, he had other people too. But he’d promised, you both had - to make time for each other. He couldn’t have slipped out for a 5 minute call? Of course, not wanting to sound too needy, you kept these thoughts to yourself. 

“Sounds good. When’s your flight?” you asked him. “Tonight, then should be straight into some read-throughs tomorrow” he said, through a yawn. “Look, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called without messaging. I can let you get back to sleep” you said, praying he woudln’t take you up on the offer. 

“No, no I’ve missed you. You look beautiful today baby” he smiled. Suddenly, everything was right again. The longing, the disappointment - all of it paled when his stubbled face lit up with that smile you’d come to adore. “Well, I’ve just had my hair and make-up professionally done, actually!” you told him, holding the phone out a little further so he could see your hair. 

He wolf whistled, and you both giggled. “You look beautiful all the time, but fuck… baby you look like heaven right now” he growled. “How come you’ve been done up?” he asked. “I have a TV appearance, the music quiz show, you remember I told you? Never Mind the Buzzcocks?” you prompted. You’d only messaged him about it the day before, excited to have more TV work, even if you weren’t performing. 

“Shit, yeah I knew about that! How’d it go?” he asked. “It’s in a couple of hours. Just got a little time in my dressing room before we start. I’m kinda nervous” you admitted. “You’ll be great, you’re funny, gorgeous and lovable. It like, physically can’t go wrong unless you stand up and start punching people” he laughed. 

The two of you carried on talking for a couple of minutes, catching up on the previous few days. It felt good to talk to him again, even about the mundane things. All too soon though, his apartment buzzer sounded. “Shit, I totally forgot my sisters are coming around for brunch. I gotta go, I’m so sorry baby. I’ll call you when I land in Atlanta okay?” he said, scrambling outta bed to let his sisters into the building. 

“Yeah, okay. Have fun, talk soon” you said, waving as he abruptly hung up the call. Once again, your heart was torn between being grateful for the talk with him, and desperately sad that it wasn’t enough. 

Thursday to Friday, things were much the same as before - phone tag, passing ships in the night desperate to speak to each other, but never quite making it work. You’d taken to sending each other voice notes, and while it helped to hear his voice, the hours between messages made it difficult to remember what was going on in the conversation in the first place. 

The weekend came, and you had a break. You drove up to see your grandmother again, recovering from her operation nicely, though slightly more confused than before. She and your parents grilled you on your relationship with Joe, and how things were going now he was back over the pond. Of course, you told them things were great, that you were happy. But the more time went on, the worse you began to feel. Joe’s absence was leaving a black hole in your life, that sucked everything inside it like an insipid pit. 

You decided to stay with your parents on the Saturday night, rather than make the drive back on the same day. You checked the time for Atlanta, and tried Joe. The phone rang, but no answer came. You hung up the phone and went to throw it on to your bed, when it buzzed with a message. 

Joe: Give me 15 minutes, I’m in an Uber with a VERY chatty driver, kinda don’t want him hearing me talk to my girlfriend. I’m almost back. Can you wait for me?

You smiled to yourself, relieved it wasn’t yet another missed connection. You typed a response, but then the devil on your shoulder made you pause before sending it. You giggled to yourself as you decided to give in to the naughty ideas running through your head. You skipped over to the bedroom door and made sure it was locked - a feature your parents had let you install as an adult after their inability to knock caught all of you out one time - a memory you’d rather forget. 

Quickly, you dimmed your lamp and shed your t-shirt and bra and stood in front of the mirror on the dressing table. Adjusting your position a couple of times, you snapped a surprisingly artistic photo of your bare chest and rouged lips in the reflection. Considering you hadn’t had time to prepare, you were pleased with the way the soft lighting cast small shadows, pebbled nipples hard and sensitive. 

Before you could second guess yourself, or stare at the photo long enough to find faults, you attached the image to your message and locked the screen, rushing to rid yourself of the rest of your clothes before climbing into bed. 

You: Sure, it’s not that late here. I’ll be waiting for you, I miss you x  IMAGE

As you opened the window a crack to allow a soft breeze to cool your flushed skin, you felt your phone buzz again. An excited trepidation befell your heart, eager to see his response, but somehow nervous too. Finally, you picked up the phone, which had landed face-down by your feet. 

Joe: Fuck

Joe: ETA 8 minutes. Stay. Like. That. 

Once again you let yourself giggle lightly, thrilled that your photo had got such a response from him. What would it lead to? That was the next question. Were you about to have phone sex? Would he send a photo in return? Would he simply call you and tell you how it made him feel, then go into a more innocent catch-up? Any option sounded good, but you couldn’t help your mind think about the way his pulse would be racing in the back of the uber. 

When Joe got aroused, he would often clench and un-clench his fists, especially in public, when you’d brush a little too close against him, or run your nails up his inner thigh under the table. You pictured him shifting uncomfortably in his trousers, turning the brightness of his screen down so he could stare at the photo without risk of the reflection being seen in the window by the driver or a passing car. 

As you imagined, you lay yourself back on the bed, casting off the duvet as your body temperature increased. You were tempted to touch yourself, but resisted in case the situation really didn’t lead to anything and you were left frustrated and unsatiated. Instead, you simply let the breeze flow over you, lying back against the soft pillows. You closed your eyes and let your hands wander over your exposed breasts, rubbing softly and teasingly. 

You startled as your phone began to ring. It was a FaceTime from Joe. Quickly you looked at your reflection before answering, smoothing our your hair and checking for anything in your teeth. As you answered, you saw an out of breath Joe all but sprinting up a staircase. 

“Hey baby, I called as soon as I got outta the Uber. I gotta see you baby, let me see you” he begged, as he climbed the stairs to his rented apartment which would be home for the rest of his time on the shoot. Chuckling, you extended your arm and let the camera drift down your naked body. By the time the screen came back to your face, you saw Joe stood still in the middle of a hallway staring with pupils blown wide. 

“Are you not even in your apartment yet?” you chuckled, as he finally closed his open mouth. He began walking again, stumbling slightly has his eyes stuck to you, rather than looking where he was going. “Almost, I just didn’t wanna wait. I missed you so fucking much, you look incredible” he said, as he let himself into his apartment. He hit the lights and made straight for his bedroom, leaving his bags and shoes scattered in the hall. 

“Slow down, we aren’t in a rush! How was your day, what were you doing?” you asked him, as you watched him enter his bedroom, turn on a lamp and prop his phone up on the dresser. “Oh, trust me, I’m in plenty of a rush. We’ve got all the time we need but right now, I have other business I wanna do with you. We can catch up later princess, okay?” he said, as he stood back and began to strip. 

You were tempted to wolf-whistle, or sing a song as he stripped - but his desperate need for you (made clear by the erection that was freed when he took off his underwear), had you writhing on the bed, desperate for release. Once suitably naked, he picked up the phone and got into his own bed, in a similar position to you. 

As he finally settled, he let his eyes focus on your background for the first time. “Oh shit, are you at your parents? Should we not be doing this?” he asked. “They’re at the other end of the house, we’re fine. But, what are we doing… exactly?” you asked, with a faux innocence. “I just gotta see you baby, I haven’t… you know… since I was with you last, which was a whole week ago. You got me worked up baby, that picture?” he groaned, running his hand down his face. 

“I swear, it nearly killed me. Like I thought I was about to combust right in the back of a 2022 Prius” he laughed. “Well, I told you I’d send you some dirty selfies. And trust me, they can get much filthier than that” you whispered, enjoying the way his eyes rolled in pleasure at your words. You could tell from the slight movement of his upper arm that he was touching himself out of shot. 

“Oh they can huh? What did you have in mind?” he asked, biting his bottom lip. “Well, I’m sure if I got the right angle I could show you a hell of a lot more” you purred, rolling on to your front and arching your back; holding your phone aloft to give him a view of your backside, illuminated by the soft lamp light. “Oh fuck, god I wish I was there. You’re so fucking beautiful” he said, his voice strained. 

You rolled back to your original position, making sure your face and tits were both in the frame this time. “Are you touching yourself, you naughty boy” you said, groaning at the sight when he moved the camera down to show his hand pumping his shaft slowly but deeply. “Is that okay?” he asked, bringing the screen back to him, so he could check in with you properly. “Yeah, yeah I like it. I’ve never actually done this before” you admitted, letting your own hand travel down south. 

Joe smiled at you, appreciative of your honesty. “And how do you feel so far? Is it okay? Do you wanna stop?” he asked. You shook your head, and let your fingers sink into your wet hole, dripping with the arousal he’d already caused despite being the other side of the world. You gathered your wetness on two fingers and brought it up to the screen. Joe’s eyes widened as you showed him the clear strands falling between your fingers as you parted them. 

He let you a shuddering breath, and gawped at the image. “That all for me, huh?” he asked. “Yeah, maybe I’ve also been kinda… not… doing anything since you left either. I’m pretty worked up too. You look good, I wish I was there. What would you do if I was?” you asked, deciding to boldly dive head first into this new experience. 

“Oh my god, you wanna know for real? First thing I’d do - I’d pull you into my lap and kiss you. I’d show you just how much I miss you. Then? Well then baby, I’d ask you to hop up here and sit on my face” he growled. You both blushed at his filthy words, but it spurred you both on, as you rubbed your slicked fingers over your clit, the sensitive bud already dangerously close to sending you into your climax. 

“Would you do that for me? Would you let me taste you?” he asked. “Would you let me cum?” you asked him, nodding your affirmation. “Oh god yeah, but it wouldn’t be the only one you had I can promise you that. I’d make you cum all over my face and fuck… baby I would lap up every single drop” he grunted, as his hand began to quicken over his hard cock, giving you glances of the scene every now and then. 

“And then after?” you asked him, still a little shy to share your own fantasies with him. “Well after that, my girl would need a little time to calm down, huh? So I’d lay you down on my chest and let you catch your breath. I’d kiss you again so you could taste yourself, and suck on those pretty tits of yours” he said, shifting his position again to prop his phone up on his bedside table, laying on his side as he continued to pleasure himself while staring longingly at your digital image. 

“Joe you have no idea how hot you look right now, at that angle” you said, his slim but chiseled physique making you fall just short of licking the screen. “Think you can do the same, baby? Let me see all of you?” he asked. You paused, hesitant at the way the angle would contour your body, how it’d make your tummy and legs look. But one more look at his eyes, blown with lust, and your self-consciousness melted away, replaced by a need to please the man you cared so deeply for. 

Carefully, you propped your phone against your glass of water, leaning back slowly. You lay to face him, matching his position perfectly. The room was silent, except for the heavy breaths coming from you both. You let your hand drift back down to your needy clit, making a show of circling it in large motions. Joe whimpered, a sound you’d missed so much, it made your heart hurt hearing it again. 

“What about you?” he asked. “Hmm?” you hummed, distracted by the way your fingers were making you melt into the bed. “What would you do if you were here?”. You paused, thinking for a moment. You could talk dirty like the best of them, but suddenly you felt so shy and exposed. But fair was fair, and he’d told you his. 

“I guess, maybe I’d need a stretch after riding your face? I’d lay face down, ass up on the bed to really stretch my back out. Hope that the view might invite a spank or two?” you said, shyly. “Anything for you baby, what next?” asked Joe. “Well, maybe I’d let you slide in. Let you grab my hips and take me then and there, or bent over something, over the desk perhaps?” you say, spying a small desk in the corner of the room. 

“Fuck, I forget how much you love to be fucked like that. Feels good huh, when I’m that deep inside you?” moaned Joe, his hips now thrusting up to match his hand movements. The tip of his cock was visibly red and leaking. It was clear neither of you would last much longer. “It just feels so good, but I wouldn't do it for long. I’d want you to look at me when you cum inside me” you told him, liberated by this new found confidence. 

“Oh yeah? Maybe if I pin you down on the bed and lift your legs up to rest on my shoulders? Get that pretty pussy squeezing me tight?” he stuttered, sweat beading on his forehead. “Uh huh, and you could… you could do that thing where… where you rub my clit while you fuck me so I cum on your cock” you whimper, barely able to get the words out. 

“Oh fuck, baby I’m close. Cum with me, cum for me” he said, as both of you increased your movements. Your fingers rubbed feverishly against your sensitive bud while your other hand pinched your nipples, causing goosebumps to pepper your skin. Joe released a guttural grunt as he spilled his hot load over his stomach and sheets, whimpering as he milked himself dry. The pure filth before your eyes and ears brought about your own climax, and you rubbed yourself through the last ebbs, spreading your legs wide to put on a show for Joe, who was seemingly never coming down. 

The two of you lay there for a while, panting as your bodies recovered from their long awaited orgasms. You turned your head to face the screen, and saw him looking back at you, awestruck. “That was fucking incredible. You are just… oh my god I miss you so fucking much” he said, still sounding out of breath. “I miss you too. Apart from this, right now, this week has fucking sucked” you admitted. 

“I know sweetheart, I know. I promise I’ll try my best to get some days off to come to you, or have you come over, okay?” he said, reaching for a tissue to clean himself up. As he did, you pulled up your duvet, suddenly overcome with fatigue. “I know. I hope we can make something work” you said, though once again the pit of doubt sat low in your stomach. “Anyway, why else did the week suck? I thought it’d been productive from your messages” he said, copying you in bringing the sheets up to cover his body. 

The week otherwise had been fine, good even had it not been for this huge absence you now felt. You sleepily told Joe about the rest of the week in a little more detail, and he did the same to you, filling you in on what some of his other cast mates had been up to. “You look like you’re barely clinging onto consciousness there sweet heart, wanna call it a night?” he asked. 

“No, not really. I feel like this is the first time we’ve been able to talk properly since you left, kinda don’t want to be the one to end it” you admitted, but a tell-tale yawn gave you away. “Come on, turn out the lamp, lay back and close your eyes. We can keep talking, I’ll be right here on the phone until you fall asleep. I’ll get a finalised schedule soon so we can start actually arranging these things” he said, giving you sweet words of encouragement as you did as you were told. 

“When you say these things, do you mean more phone sex?” you asked through a sleepy chuckle. “Among other things” he replied, giggling with you. “But also to just talk to you, see you. I wanna hear some of the songs you’ve laid down, I want to play you some of mine. I wanna watch TV with you” he said. You were fairly certain he kept talking, but his words began to get fuzzy. 

You must’ve fallen asleep as when you awoke, your phone was still propped up on your bedside table, screen dark from having run out of battery. The warm memories from the night before filled your heart with joy, as you clambered out of bed for a well needed shower and drink. Sure, it wasn’t quite the same. But Joe was right, there was so much else you could do to spend time with him, that didn’t need you to be in the same room. Or continent. 

*********************************

Later that evening, after visiting your grandmother again before driving back home, you sat in your quiet, empty house. There was a TV quiz show playing in the background, serving as background noise as opposed to entertainment, as you sat and scrolled through social media. Photos of you and Joe during your short time together still appeared, not helped by the fact you’d searched for them once so the algorithm kept bringing them up. 

As you looked at a version of yourself so much happier and content than the one you were now, mere weeks later, your phone buzzed with a message. 

Joe: Here’s my schedule. They got me 5 days on standby starting Sep 14. Can you come here? They might need me but shouldn’t be for long, I could spend pretty much the whole time with you? What do you say? 

Before responding, you checked your own schedule, and dialled Kate’s number. 

“Kate? Any chance we can move some dates around?”

Chapter Text

September 13th 2024

From the moment your plane touched down at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, a palpable excitement flowed through your veins. It’d been weeks now since you’d last seen Joe, and your heart was not faring so well.

There had been a marked improvement on how the both of you kept aside time to talk, but it was beginning to not be enough. Nowhere near enough to be more precise. Joe was beginning to feel more like a pen pal than a boyfriend, and even the media had stopped speculating on your relationship. You never thought it’d be something that would make you anything but glad, but it turned out seeing photos of you both strewn over Instagram and TikTok felt a lot better than his absence. 

Communication had been even more difficult, as you’d pulled about a million strings to pull the recording of the demos forward. To top it off, the label gave the immediate green light for the album, so a bulk of the work needed to be laid down, ready to finish it off after the tour which would start in mid-October. All of this, so you would be able to be where you were right now, which was lugging your suitcase through customs ready to start a whirlwind 5 days in Atlanta. 

You squinted your eyes to look for the driver Joe had promised he’d send, reading name cards in a search for yours. You scanned and scanned the placards, but to no avail. You were about to pull your phone out when you heard your name spoken in the crowd. A faint utterance of your name which flooded your body with familiarity. 

As you looked up to see where it came from, you saw the face you knew the voice belonged to. Joe stood among the crowds of people at the terminal, grinning at you in an adorable beanie hat, with his glasses and an effortlessly chic outfit. As soon as you spotted him, he began to jog towards you. You did the same, as much as your heavy case could allow, and finally he held you in his arms. 

It was as if finally, things felt easy again. No underlying sadness, no longing or worrying. He simply held you, and kissed you as if it was the first time all over again. What started with tenderness quickly turned into desperate passion as neither of you paid mind to who might be around you.  

His lips felt the same as always, yet their softness and electrifying touch seemed to captivate you in an entirely new way. When the two of you parted, you looked up at him with stars in your eyes. “What are you doing here? I thought you were shooting all day?” you asked. The plan had been for you to travel up on a filming day, so you weren’t wasting his first day off jet lagged travelling from the airport. 

“They said they didn’t need me after all. So I cancelled the driver and thought I’d surprise you” he grinned, running his thumbs over your cheeks as if he was checking you were really there. “I missed you so fucking much” you said, falling back into his embrace. “I missed you too sweetheart, so much. Come on, pass me your case and we can get back to mine” he said, reaching for the handle with one arm, and your hand with the other. 

You both strolled through the terminal, remaining fairly anonymous - a surprise given the Stranger Things filming in Atlanta was no secret. Joe steered you towards the valet service, and before long, a silver car pulled up before you. The valet exited the vehicle and took the bag from Joe to place it in the back. Joe opened the door for you, which made you chuckle as you got in. 

He thanked and tipped the valet, before getting into the driver's seat and speeding off towards the highway. “Nice car” you said, brushing your hand over the soft leather of the seat. “It’s not mine. I mean it is while I’m over here, but I was NOT driving all the way over from LA just to have my car. Anyway, how was your flight?” he asked, eyes on the road, but a hand on your thigh. 

You filled him in on the fairly mundane information from your flight, which had been uneventful save for a sleeptalker a couple of rows in front of you. Joe in turn talked you through as much as he was allowed of his time on set so far. It was nothing you hadn’t already heard from him or Charlie already, but it felt good to hear his voice, clear as day - not through a phone call or video chat. 

“I’m so happy you’re here. Was it kinda hard to get the time away?” he asked. “Yeah, though the hardest thing was persuading the band to put in the extra hours. The label don’t care so much as long as they get what they want on time. I owe them all a fancy dinner and drinks one evening when we’re on tour, so I think it’s a pretty small price to pay. They’re probably just happy to see me getting out rather than pining in my house” you chuckled. 

Joe raised an eyebrow at your admission. “Pining huh? You been that bad?” he asked. You blushed, realising you sounded like a lovesick teenager. “I mean, no I wasn’t a total recluse, I worked, I saw people but… I mean they all know me so well, they knew I wasn’t exactly happy” you said, eyes downcast at your knees. 

“You were unhappy?” he asked, voice soft with concern. “I mean… yeah. Weren’t you?” you asked him, wondering whether or not you really did want to know the answer. Sure, you didn’t want him to be unhappy - but surely he’d not been living his happy life over here without you? Not entirely, right? 

“I missed you, so fucking much but I uh… I guess I was busy. I felt it more in the evenings, especially away from home. But we all have people we’re away from, so I guess the camaraderie is there” he said, tapping at the steering wheel nervously. “Yeah, yeah me too. Sorry I think I just sounded dramatic” you said dismissively, praying he would believe the lie. 

The past few weeks had been hard. Missing Joe felt like a constant shadow on your world. Like nothing was quite as bright without him there. As much as you tried to remind yourself how short a time he’d been in your life, you couldn’t get that spark back knowing he was so far away. Maybe you were right, perhaps you were being overdramatic and a little over attached. 

After driving in a couple of minutes of silence, Joe finally broke the tension. “So we’re about twenty minutes away - wanna play me those demos while we drive?” he asked. You nodded and paired your phone to the car’s in-built bluetooth, playing the 4 songs which were in a somewhat finished state. The demos that made the label want the album ASAP. 

The first song was the one he’d helped you work on, way back in the summer, as the two of you sat in your living room, comfortable yet unfamiliar in each other’s presence. The time he kissed you for the first time. The moment you realised that his eyes were ones you’d be lost in for the foreseeable future. You smiled to yourself as you caught him singing along, the harmony lines he’d created having been kept in the song. 

“Can I give you a credit?” you asked him, referring to a songwriting credit on the album. “You don’t have to, but it’d be kinda nice. I want to really get back into music next year so a credit on your album wouldn’t hurt” he said, brushing his fingers over your thigh once again. 

You looked at him incredulously. “You really see it as an opportunity for you? It’s an opportunity for me! Joe Keery on my album? Fuck, that’ll sell copies alone” you said, your voice jovial but your words carried depth. “Don’t undersell yourself. You’re doing amazing, huge things. I mean, remember I told you I heard your music in Target last week? You’re big sweetheart, and even though I haven’t been around too long, I am so fucking proud of you” he said, reaching for your hand and placing a soft kiss to your knuckles. 

Finally, Joe slowed down as he pulled into a small estate of apartments, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. “Are these apartments all cast and crew?” you asked. “Yeah. It was made specially for crews filming over here. The main stages are only five minutes down the highway” he said, as the two of you climbed out of the car. As Joe moved towards the trunk to retrieve your luggage, you heard the main door open with a click.

You turned and saw Charlie heading towards you, pulling you in for a tight hug. “There she is! You okay?” he asked. “Hey! I’m good, they gave you the day off too, huh?” you asked him. “Oh no, I’m down for a night shoot this evening. Nat’s there all day, I’m heading there soon. I just wanted to wait around to say hey” he said, taking your carry-on bag from Joe as they both led you into his apartment.

The apartment was small, but decorated in a modern style, with any amenities you could want. It had an open plan kitchen and living space, with a bedroom and a bathroom, all of decent size. Charlie placed your bag down and bid you both farewell. You like to think it was because he wanted to get to work, but you knew deep down he wasn’t stupid, and knew what the two of you would have on your mind after being separated for so long. 

As the door closed behind Charlie, Joe all but pounced on you, pinning you against the kitchen counter as he pressed into you needily. “I have so much I want to do to you, so much I want to try and say and feel. But I need you baby, I need you so bad” he panted, hands roaming over your clothed curves. 

“Take me” you said in a breathy moan, knowing now was not the time for taking things slow. Your bodies had ached for each other, and no amount of phone sex could ever satisfy in the same way. The first time was never going to last long, not with how hungrily he looked at you, so it made sense to allow yourselves to be fast and intense. 

Clothes were shed sloppily and rapidly, as your limbs tangled together. As soon as your bottom half was exposed, he wasted no time in sinking to his knees to taste you. He groaned in delight as your taste flooded his tongue, lapping up at the arousal which was embarrassingly quick to appear. Once he’d had his taste, and could feel your legs buckling, desperate for more; he stood kissing you hard, letting the evidence of your need spread over your lips. 

It was hot, needy and erotic - more than ever before. His strong arms spun you over and bent you over the counter. He entered you quickly, sinking all the way in with a hiss of relief. The stretch burned for only a moment, before the pain morphed into pleasure. It’d been a while, and Joe was of fair size. Thankfully, your body wanted him just as much as he wanted you, with you both falling into a pounding rhythm. Your breasts, barely freed from the shirt you wore; bounced against the cool marble as he slammed into you. 

“I’m not gonna last baby, I..” he stammered, as his pace began to falter. “ It.. ‘s okay” you managed to pant, before a pinched gasp overtook as his fingers wound their way around to brush your clit. If he was about to reach his peak, he was going to make damned sure you went with him. 

It didn’t take much, and before you could even think about a different position, he spilled inside of you, sweat prickled forehead resting against your back as he rode his release, while maintaining the punishing rhythm on your clit. 

“You gonna cum for me princess?” he groaned, his still hard cock being squeezed by your quivering walls. “Almost… almost” you pleaded, begging him not to stop. Finally, your own orgasm ripped through you, forcing you to clench your hole, squeezing his cock free. His hot seed began to drip down your inner thigh as your final convulsions ceased. 

“I’m making a mess” you said, jet-lagged brain turning to mush. “It’s okay, I got you baby. Come here” he said, reaching for a paper towel from the counter, helping to clean up the immediate mess. He walked you to the bathroom to finish sorting yourself out, supporting your weight as your shaky legs threatened to give way, before heading back to clean up the droplets which had made their way to the polished wood floor. 

Once you were in a slightly more put-together state, you stood before the bathroom mirror and assessed your appearance. Your lips were kiss-swollen, cheeks were flushed and your hair had seen better days. The clothes that remained on your body were barely worth keeping on, so you stripped and slinked into the bedroom, retrieving a shirt of Joe’s. You told yourself it was just easier, rather than opening up your suitcase. But the truth was, you loved wearing his clothes, and knew it did something to him too. 

“So I know you’ll be kinda jet lagged, but I thought we could go get some dinner at this really nice..” he began, his words failing as you walked back into the kitchen, bare save from a loose-fitting sleeveless tee which only just covered your modesty. “Jesus christ” he said, under his breath. 

“You approve?” you smiled at him, walking over to wrap your arms around his neck. “Approve? Fuck, you don’t know what you do to me. You know, this reminds me of being back in your place. Even then, with your whole wardrobe at your fingertips you always picked up one of mine” he said, smiling down with soft eyes. 

“Anyway, what did you have planned for us?” 

************************

September 14th 2024

Despite the best intentions, the two of you found it difficult to leave Joe’s apartment during your first 24 hours in the city. Instead, take-outs were ordered, clothes were shed and your bodies became fully reacquainted with each other. That evening, a call came. Joe took it in the kitchen, but you could hear the conversation, and it made your heart sink. 

“Come on, really? This was supposed to be my break this week. Yeah, I know what stand-by means. How long will it take? And I really can’t bring anyone to set? Is it just tomorrow? Sure, sure okay. See ya”.

By the time he walked back into the bedroom, you knew what he was about to say. “I gotta go to set tomorrow, pretty much all day. There was a last minute re-write. I’m so sorry” he said, climbing on to the bed beside you, pulling you close. The whole thing felt strangely, uncomfortably familiar. 

“I guess we always knew it was a possibility. Is it only tomorrow?” you asked him. He sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know. There’s some stunt work for it, and some new pages I gotta learn and rehearse. I swear, I told everyone how much this week meant to me, I really didn’t think they’d make me come in” he explained. 

“It’s fine, tomorrow I can go explore the city for a while, and I could cook for when you get home?” you offered. “You don’t have to do that, we could go out, or order in again?” he said, stroking your hair softly. “It’s not like I have anything better to do” you said, immediately feeling guilty at how much of a snide remark it sounded like. “Plus, if you’re living on take-outs and on-set catering it means you haven’t had a proper home-cooked meal for a while. I might be a musician but I can be domestic as hell” you smiled, forcing down the crushing disappointment you felt. 

Joe sat back and pulled you into his lap, pressing his lips to yours. “You’re incredible, you know that?” he said. The two of you sat like that for a few moments, your own thoughts whirring in your heads until he spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”. You turned to look at him, his tone making you weary of any more bad news he might bring. “Sure, what is it?” you asked, spinning to face him properly. 

“When we were driving from the airport, you said that people had noticed you weren’t happy. Have things really been that bad?” he asked. You sighed, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. Not this again. 

“No, I was just being dramatic. I’m fine, busy just like you were” you dismissed, but you should’ve known that wouldn’t fly with the man before you. “Come on, be honest. Dramatic or not, you said you weren’t happy and I wanna talk about it with you. Was it me? Was anything else going on?” he asked. 

You paused, taking a moment to think about what to tell him. The truth didn’t seem like a comfortable option - ‘Yes Joe, it was because you weren’t here because I’ve been stupid enough to fall desperately for you and every day since you moved back has felt empty and futile and I’ve struggled to find joy in much else’ - it’d scare him off, surely. 

“I guess I missed you, a lot. We had a lot of time together, it was quick and intense and I guess it just took me a while to get used to. I was working a lot, and maybe I didn’t take a lot of time for myself, that’s all” you eventually settled on. Joe looked at you, as if he knew by your eyes that you weren’t telling the whole truth. 

“I feel like when you asked me, and I said I wasn’t unhappy, that maybe it’d hurt your feelings” he said, steadily. “No! No of course not, why would I want you to have been upset? I’m not a total monster” you replied, affronted. “That’s not what I meant, I just mean.. I want you to know I really did miss you. And I think after I get used to having you here for a week I’m going to be fucking miserable when you leave again. I just hate the thought of you being unhappy because of me”. 

You bit your lip, the truth threatening to slip. You held it down, still terrified of being too much. “I know, and this is why I said I think I was just being dramatic. I wasn’t unhappy I was… I don’t know. I’d just gotten comfortable I guess. Things were getting easier, I was settling into a routine” you lied. “Are you sure this is still what you want? Us?” he asked. 

“Of course I do! Look I really don’t wanna think about the fact we only have a little time together this week. Can we just get back to enjoying our time together while I’m here?” you pleaded. “Sure, I’m sorry. I really am just so happy you’re here” he said, rolling you into your back, before diving on top of you in a flurry of ticklish neck kisses. 

***************************

September 15th 2024

It was 9:00pm before Joe returned to the apartment. The meal you prepared was slowly drying out on the low heat in the oven, you’d drunk the most part of a bottle of wine and you were trying desperately to stay awake to see him, after a busy day of exploring and cooking. You weren’t mad with him, not really. It wasn’t like when your ex would come home late with little to no explanation. Joe had work to do, work in his contract. It just stung a little, made worse by the fact you really couldn’t direct your annoyance to anyone in particular. 

When the apartment door opened, Joe strode in and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m so sorry, we worked late so I wouldn’t have to go back in tomorrow. Are you okay? Do you wanna sleep?” he asked. “I’m fine, I’m tired but hungry as hell. Home on, I’ll get it plated up” you said, kissing his cheek before dragging yourself up off the couch. 

As you ate, and listened to his stories of his day, you finally felt content once again. Like all of this was worth it to be sat with him there and then, listening as he held your hand over the candlelit table.

**************************

September 16th 2024

It was already halfway through your time with Joe, when finally the two of you took a trip out together. He drove you to a nature trail an hour out of the city, with a picnic secured in his backpack. The sun shone, but the cool breeze kept you from overheating during the strenuous walk. It wasn’t exactly your idea of fun, but Joe seemed excited to show you this spot. 

As you walked, the pair of you chatted idly. Sometimes, you would forget that you really hadn’t known each other all that long; surprised when you learned such basic things about each other. “You really mean to tell me you can’t tell the time?” he said, incredulously. “I can tell the time! It just… it takes me a minute to read the clock. I can’t just glance at it like you can” you admitted, after the topic had come up in conversation. 

“I just thought it was something all kids learned how to do, I swear I’m not trying to wind you up!” he said, wrapping his arm round your waist as you walked. “They do, I remember learning it in school but it just never clicked with me. Come on, there must be something simple that you never learned to do properly” you asked. 

“I mean, I was always kinda shitty at algebra” he said, but laughed as you nudged him. “Of course you were, you’re creative. I’ve yet to meet someone truly creative who was any good at any sort of mathematics. You really can’t think of something else?” you asked him. “I’m sure there is, maybe I just don’t realise it’s not a normal gap of knowledge to have! Look, how about when you get to meet my sisters, you ask them. I’ve no doubt they’ll give you plenty of embarrassing stories to make up for you not being able to read a clock” he laughed. 

The conversation between you was easy, and the clench in your jaw and tension in your shoulders had finally disappeared. The impending end of your trip, and the idea of leaving him again far from your mind as you traversed the scenic trail. 

After an hour, you finally arrived at the peak of the hill, with Joe taking you out into a clearing, looking down over the city for miles and miles. “Wow, this is beautiful” you said, stunned. Your experience of the USA so far in your life had largely consisted of cities. You’d never really been into what you’d consider the ‘wilderness’ but you were so glad to have experienced it, and to be sat on the blanket Joe had laid out as he began to unpack a variety of your favourite snacks. 

“I knew you’d like it, kinda reminds me of the view we had when you took me on that first tour of London, when we sat outside Alexandra Palace and looked over the city? I’ve been coming up here a lot. I wanted to send you a picture but I knew I’d rather you see it for the first time yourself” he said, offering you a strawberry. 

“How did you find it?” you asked him, accepting the sweet, fruity treat. “One of the sound guys recommended it. I said I was feeling a little.. I don’t know, suffocated by all the concrete and high rises. Said I wanted some nature, so he gave me directions to this trail” said Joe. “I thought you’d be used to city living, especially after living in Chicago. What made you feel so trapped?” you asked him. 

Joe thought for a moment, chewing on his bite of fruit as he contemplated his answer. “I don’t know. I guess I was struggling with suddenly being ripped away from you, the first person to make me feel genuinely like myself in a long, long time. Made me need space” he admitted. “I am, I was?” you asked. 

“Of course you are. Fuck, my ex screwed me up more than I ever thought and sure I was writing music to try process how I felt but when we started… spending time together it was like suddenly I remembered who I was. Sorry that’s probably a little heavy, we’re supposed to be out enjoying ourselves” he said, shaking his head as if to bring himself out of his reverie. 

“No, no it’s good. We should talk about this. Why didn’t you tell me?”. “I didn’t wanna put that on you, especially when it was me that had to leave. I knew you were struggling, I thought well I might as well not add to her worries by telling her how hard a time I was having. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I was really fucking miserable without you” he said, taking your hand in his. He brought your intertwined fingers up to his mouth, and kissed the back of your hand softly. “Can I tell you when I missed you most?” you asked him.

He nodded, reaching for your other hand, placing them both in his lap, running his thumb over your knuckles. “It was when something good happened. When we really had a breakthrough, or when I got to be on the TV panel show. Or when one of our songs started going viral on TikTok. It wasn’t because I wanted to celebrate it with you, though obviously I did. But it meant that there was always this huge comedown when the excitement was over. When I’d go home to my empty house, or out for dinner with my coupled-up friends” you said, almost laughing at how ridiculous you thought you sounded. 

“I’m sorry honey, I wish things didn’t have to be this way. But look, you’re here. We’re here in this beautiful spot, and when we get back we can look in the diary and get our next visit planned, okay? I want this to be special for you, I want you to feel good” he said, kissing up your arm, pulling ever so slightly to bring you forward, allowing his lips to trace all the way up to the sensitive skin of your neck. 

You let yourself sigh contentedly, as the warmth of his lips soothed your soul. Goosebumps ran up your arms, as he let himself breathe gently into your ear. Joe noticed, and chuckled. “You cold?” he asked, rubbing his hands up the prickled flesh of your arm. “We both know what’s caused that and it’s not the wind” you laughed, bringing him into your arms, pressing your lips to his. 

As he kissed you back, his tongue dipped into your mouth and you welcomed him in. Your kissing became heavier, more intense as he pulled you up and into his lap, hands around your waist, fingers teasing at the skin between the hem of your shirt and waistband of your sports leggings. You were grateful you’d dressed appropriately. If you’d been wearing a dress or skirt, you know how easily he’d have been able to slip your panties to the side and… 

“We need to cool things down, because it’s quiet now but it’s just my luck that someone with a camera will be right around the corner and I am… pretty damn worked up” you panted, hot breaths fanning over each other’s faces. Joe’s hands gripped your hips harshly, as he thrust upwards to show you, or more accurately, make you feel how aroused he also was. “If I could take you right here right now I would” he growled, kissing over your clothed breasts. 

“I know, I know and that’s what I’m worried about because I would not have the willpower to turn you down. Keep it in your pants, Keery. I promise it’ll be worth it later” you said, winking before sliding off his lap to dive into more of the food he’d brought. With flushed faces, you both began to eat, staring out at the beautiful view. At least you were, Joe spent most of his time looking at you. 

*************************

17th September 2024

Yet again, Joe was needed for a shoot. Though you spent the morning and evening together, the daylight hours were spent apart. 

As you sat in his apartment, feelings of doubt began to creep in. This was beginning to feel a lot like a way in which you didn’t want to carry on. 

***********************

18th September 2025 

You didn’t sleep that night. When Joe returned to the apartment, you ate, talked, fucked and held him as he fell asleep after an exhausting day’s shoot. You tried to sleep, to will your brain and heart to let you fall into a slumber, but it was no good. At 1:00am on the 18th, just 9 hours from your return flight, you peeled yourself away from Joe’s sleepy embrace, and began packing your suitcase in silence. 

You hadn’t packed too much, and most of it was already in the case, ready to be taken home and washed. There were a couple of bags of snacks you’d become fond of, which would be hard to find back in London, a handful of souvenirs for friends and some un-worn outfits to retrieve from the dresser. After that, you were pretty much packed and ready to go. Finally, you approached the laundry basket in the corner of the room and reached in for the shirt Joe had been wearing, which was thrown off in desperate passion as he ravaged you just hours before. 

You held the soft fabric to your face, inhaling his smell. As you breathed in, a sob broke from your chest. You left the room swiftly, and closed the door to be able to cry freely without fear of waking him. Curling up on the couch, you wept into his shirt, tears drenching the material as the gravity of the situation hit you. 

The idea of leaving him stung, but it wasn’t just the leaving, it was the living - or lack there of. Your time with him was so full of joy, but your time without him felt like a prison sentence, scratching tally marks in the wall until your release date. 

****************************

“How long have you been up?” asked Joe, groggily staggering from the bedroom to find you in the living room, fully dressed with bags packed by the door. “Uh, quite a long time. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get everything packed and ready, save rushing this morning” you said, standing to pour him a coffee from the freshly brewed pot. 

“What time’s your flight?” he asked. “10:00, so I guess I’ll need to leave here in about an hour or so” you sighed. Joe took the cup offered to him, but placed it down immediately. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying” he said, pulling you to sit down on the couch beside him. You tried to stay strong, but once again tears fell as you looked at his kind, warm eyes. “I don’t want to go” you said, voice small and sad. 

“I don’t want you to go either sweetheart, but it won’t be long, right? We can find some time to plan another trip” he said, reaching for his phone to open up his digital calendar. “I’ve already looked. You know when the next bit of guaranteed free time we have is? Christmas” you said, scoffing bitterly. Joe’s fingers scrolled through the calendar, which already contained the prior commitments of you both. You were right. 

“I can make something work, or… or you could convince the band to come over here to record? We can find you a studio near where I’m filming!” he said, pleading eyes looking at you in desperation. “I can’t! I can’t ask them to, they have commitments and families, and I have my Gran, I can’t leave her - not while she’s like this! Plus, say I do come over, what then? We pass like ships in the night, between days in the studio, shoots and gigs?” you argued. 

Joe ran his hands through his already messy hair, water already at his lash line. “I can cancel, say something personal came up. I can drop the next movie I don’t care, I need you more than the fucking job” he said, almost begging. “No, no you won’t and you can’t. You can’t let this affect your career. I just… fuck okay. Tell me, hand on your heart - how were you feeling while we were apart? Since you left London up until I came here. How was it for you?” you asked him, anger bubbling at the surface. You weren’t angry at him, you were angry at the situation, so you stroked his hand gently, in an attempt to communicate it. 

“I was fucking miserable baby, countin’ down the days until you got here” he admitted, voice low and sad. “Exactly. You want to know how it was for me?” you asked him, and he nodded, gulping down a sick feeling that he knew exactly what you were going to say. “I felt like everything else didn’t matter. Even the nice things that happened were overshadowed by the fact you weren’t there. I realise I was living my dream, doing incredible things and the entire time, I wasn’t enjoying them. Instead, I was willing them to be over, so I’d be back with you sooner. I can’t keep living a life where I’m desperate for the days to pass, it’s no way to live!” you sobbed. 

“But this is so fucking special, so beautiful we can’t throw it away. We’ve come too far for it. You make me so happy..” he said, hands wrapped tight around yours. “But have we come too far? Joe, I think we let it burn too bright, too hot and too fast. We shouldn’t have put a label on it, shouldn’t have put so much pressure on ourselves. You say I make you happy, but out of all the time we’ve known each other - how much of it has been happy and how much of it has been us living a miserable half-life?” you asked him. 

Were you really doing this? You felt as if you rose out of your body for a split second, looking down at yourself making what might be the most stupid mistake of your life. Were you really saying what it sounded like? 

Joe didn’t need to answer your question. You knew he agreed, by the silent stare into your eyes through his tears. “I really hate this” he said, voice breaking. “So do I. I’ve waited so long to be here with you, but most of the time has been overshadowed by today, by that return ticket burning a hole through my bag” you said. 

“So what now?” he asked. “I really don’t want to lose you, lose this” you said. But both of you knew there was an unspoken ‘but’. 

“Burned too hot, too bright and too fast, huh?” he said, through a bitter chuckle. “I don’t fucking know. Right person, wrong time. Burned too bright too fast. Planets didn’t align. I don’t know. I feel like all the options laid out before us are really bad options” you said. “So break up, or have a relationship where we don’t make each other happy?” asked Joe. 

“No, no we do make each other happy. I believe that with all my heart. But the distance, the commitments, the fucking time zones. That’s what doesn’t make us happy” you corrected. “So what do you want, do you want us to break up?” he asked. 

You paused, tracing your fingers over his knuckles as you memorised his face, from each freckle and mole, to the dimples and lines around the eyes. A face you wouldn’t want to forget in a hurry. “No” you answered, simply. “But I don’t want this either, almost having you but not quite”. 

Joe pulled you into his arms, letting himself cry softly into the top of your head. “What do you want?” you ask him, voice slightly muffled from being pressed into his chest. “I want you to come and live over here. But I know you can’t. Not yet. I want to move to London, but I can’t. Not yet. I just want you to be happy” he said. 

“... and I think to do that I need to let you move on” he continued. You cried into his chest as he held you, heartbroken at his words, but feeling a small sense of relief that it wasn’t you that had to say them. He held you like that for a long time, the two of you hurting, grieving a relationship which never had time to bloom. Not really. 

“Can I drive you to the airport?” he asked. “I would love you to, but I don’t think you’re in a fit state to drive. I know I’m not. I’ll get an Uber, I think it’s best anyway” you said reluctantly. “I got it, don’t worry. You want to go now?” he asked. The answer was no, no you didn’t. You wanted to stay, or you wanted to book an extra ticket and take him with you, but either was a viable option. Instead, you nodded and watched numbly as he took out his phone and booked your ride. 

You wiped at your red and swollen face with the backs of your hands and stood, taking a deep breath. “It’ll be here in 5. Let me help you take your bags downstairs at least” he said. You nodded, and stood frozen as he reached for some shoes and a jacket. In silence, the two of you left the apartment block, standing out in the chilly autumnal morning breeze. “Let me know when you land, okay?” he said. 

“I will. You can call or message me any time you want, okay? It’d be nice to still be friends” you said, voice hopeful. Joe nodded and gave a tight-lipped smile, which did nothing to convince you. 

From around the corner, a silver Lexus pulled up. “Here’s your ride” he said, lifting your case into the trunk as it pulled up. “I’m sorry, Joe” you said, placing a chase kiss on his cheek. “Yeah, me too. Bye sweetheart” he said, smiling a smile which never reached his eyes. “Bye Joe…” you said, as you climbed into the car. You gave him a small wave as the Uber drove towards the airport, leaning you head back against the seat, sobbing silently into your coat, which smelled of his apartment. 

Chapter Text

TW - Death of a family member

18th September 2024

Once you’d landed safely back in London, you pulled out your phone to send the message you were agonising over the entire flight. Opening the text chain with Joe, you still hadn’t figured out what to say. It was simple really, just tell him you landed safe. But it felt like more. It was the first message since the break up only a few hours earlier. You had no obligation to message him. You could simply tell Charlie who you were sure would pass on the message if you asked - but you knew Joe deserved more than that. 

You: Just landed. I’m sorry, about everything. 

You sent the message you landed on, before you could over think it any more. You weren’t sure what you thought he would reply, if he replied at all. You worked out it’d only be around 5pm in Atlanta, so he’d definitely be awake. Working even. You wallowed in your melancholy as you waited for your suitcase to appear on the luggage carousel. You’d made the right decision, but that didn’t mean it was the easy one. 

Reunited with your case, you trudged through the airport to the valet service. You were regretting the decision to drive, considering how tired you were - but there was no getting around it. The driver pulled your car around to the front, helped you with your bags and passed your keys over. You pulled away from the airport, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay until you were in the safety of your home. 

To distract yourself, you flicked on the radio. Normally, you’d connect your phone for music or a podcast, but if you did that you’d know if you had any texts or calls. Until you were home, ignorance was bliss. Instead, you flicked to a commercial radio station, craving familiar music, limited chat and mindless adverts to soothe your aching mind and heart. 

It worked, for a little while. The station was playing a set of 80’s classics, flashing happy memories of your mother singing along to George Michael in the kitchen, or the time you and Charlie performed a rendition of Bananarama’s Venus to your bewildered grandmother. Nearing the main road into the City, the opening bars of a familiar song rang through the car's speakers. What was once a favourite song of yours had become synonymous with Stranger Things - a fact you’d never really minded until now. 

Before, it would even send you a jolt of pride for Charlie, being a part of such a huge thing. But now, it also meant your mind would wander to Joe. The man who broke your heart, the man whose heart you broke - you weren’t quite sure which way round it was. As Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill continued to play, you forced your brain to think of Charlie, Natalia - even the kids who you’d not yet met but had heard stories of. 

You refused to let the song be something that would send you into a spiral. There were enough things you knew would forever remind you of Joe, you’d be damned if Kate Bush was to be another. As the song began to fade, the DJ began to speak. You took a breath, grateful it was over. That was until you tuned into what exactly they were saying. 

“Kate Bush there with Running Up That Hill. Of course, you can’t hear that song now without thinking of Stranger Things. It’d be remiss of us not to talk about Stranger Things on our 80’s music celebration. Despite being first broadcast in 2016, Stranger Things brings viewers seamlessly into 1980’s USA, with the fashion, the cars and especially the music. Here’s a snippet of an interview I did with Steve Harrington actor Joe Keery back in 2022 about the importance of the music in the series…”

Unbelievable. It was like the universe was taunting you. Before you could react, your car was filled with the voice of the man you so desperately missed, who you very nearly loved. Perhaps you already did love him? His voice, that you were so used to speaking sweet nothings into your ears, began to blast through the speakers. The response was visceral, you almost growled as you slammed your hand into the radio to switch it off. It was too painful, and too soon.

The car was plunged into quiet, save for the rumble of the road beneath the car, and the sound of your sobs interspersed with frustrated groans. If anyone had seen you, and perhaps they did - they’d probably think you were having a complete mental breakdown. Perhaps you were. 

It was miraculous that you managed to pull back up to your house in one piece, having driven through teary eyes for the last half hour. As soon as your hand brake was engaged, you leaned your forehead against the steering wheel and let yourself wail. Grateful for the quiet street, you finally stopped holding back and let the barrage of emotions spill from you. The anger, the sadness, the frustration, the guilt and the regret. 

Finally, as the tears morphed into hiccups, you rose from your position, unsticking your clammy forehead from the leather-clad wheel. Now you’d stopped, you could hear the faint buzzing of your phone in your bag on the passenger seat. You sighed and pulled it out. It was Charlie. 

“Hello?” you croaked. 

“What the fuck has happened between you two?” asked Charlie, his voice harsh. 

“Please don’t shout at me” you replied, sounding every bit the fragile child you felt. 

“I’ve just been sat in Joe’s trailer with him for an hour, he’s falling apart! He said you left him? Said you couldn’t do it anymore?” accused Charlie. 

“Charlie, please! Why are you mad at me, why aren’t you mad at him? He said it first. He agreed! Why aren’t you asking him?” you spat, once again reduced to a blubbering mess. 

“Sorry, sorry. Look, maybe it was just how he made it sound. Are you okay?” he asked. 

“We talked this morning. Charlie I just couldn’t live like that anymore. I think I was really falling in love with him” you said. 

“And that’s why you broke it off?”

“No! No, it’s because ever since he left I was living life like it was a huge inconvenience. Like if I wasn’t with him it just didn’t feel right. Even all the nice, exciting things felt like just something to pass the time until I could see him again. That’s no way to live! I couldn’t keep doing it, it was killing me and I think it was killing him too” you said, wiping your running nose on a tissue found in the cupholder beside you. 

“But you knew this was how it’d be, you knew going into this that there would be a lot of long distance. You could’ve made it work!” said Charlie, again sounding frustrated at you. 

“Charlie, we’d have next seen each other at Christmas, maybe. If not then, probably well into the new year. Joe agreed!” you argued. 

“Becasue he thought that would be what you wanted to hear! He’s fucked up, I’ve never seen him like that and I was there throughout his last break up. You need to talk to him, it’s not too late. You could come move over here! You could keep your London place, or we can share the London house together!” he offered. 

“Why is it all about me moving over there? Why was it never an option for Joe to move to London?” you spat. Before Charlie could continue, you carried on. “I need to be here. The rest of the band live here, Granny lives here, and at least one of the grandkids needs to be around to see her” you said. It was a low blow, but you were getting increasingly angry at Charlie. 

He was silent on the other line. You knew you’d hit a nerve, but had no inclination to stop. “I didn’t want to break it off. I wanted nothing more than to stay there and never leave, or have him come back to London and promise to stay. But neither of them was an option. So either I live a life where I’m either missing him, or dreading leaving him - or we let each other go and try and move on, find someone who we’d be able to see more than once every financial quarter”. 

“I know it worked out for you and Natalia, and I am truly thrilled for you. Perhaps if our schedules were different, and we’d be able to spend more time together then who knows, perhaps we’d have made it too. But… fuck Charlie I can’t keep living like I was. I was miserable, and he was miserable. At least this way he can heal and move on”. 

Both of you sat in silence, the faint crackle of the call and a distant siren the only thing telling you the call was still connected. Finally, Charlie cleared his throat. 

“I’m sorry. I think Joe was hurting, and maybe he didn’t explain it properly. I shouldn’t have come at you like that. I should’ve been on your side and I’m really sorry” he said. 

“It’s fine. I’m sorry about the Granny comment too” you conceded. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“Not really. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. But I really can’t see a way we can be together unless one of us makes some work-related sacrifices and I don’t think either of us wants that for the other. Will you look out for him?” you asked. 

“Of course I will, but I want to look out for you too. Do you have anyone to come over tonight?” he asked. 

“No, but I want to be on my own I think. Back in the studio and touring soon so I’ll be surrounded by people soon enough, whether I like it or not. I’m still parked outside the house, so I’m gonna go and get inside” you told him, unbuckling yourself and stretching your sore legs out the door. 

“Alright. Just give me a call if you need anything, Nat too. I’m sorry it ended, you both seemed to be really good for each other” said Charlie. 

“Yeah, we were.” you agreed, before bidding him goodbye and hanging up. As you did, you noticed another notification on the screen. 

Joe: I’m sorry too. 

You didn’t know what to reply, so instead you locked your phone and slipped it into your pocket, before hauling yourself into the house. 

Once inside, you busied yourself with laundry. The tour was starting in a few weeks, and before that some final recording sessions, so letting it pile up was definitely not a good idea. Dragging the case into the kitchen, you knelt down and opened it up, sorting through clothes for piles of lights and darks. As you bundled the first load into the washing machine, you noticed something unfamiliar, yet all too familiar. 

The scent hit you first, Joe’s scent that was indescribable yet quintessentially him. You let the bundle of clothes in your hand fall to the floor, as you picked out the dark blue t-shirt you realised belonged to him. It was a complete accident, packing it. Matter of fact, you’d considered doing it, having a part of him to take back with you - but you knew it would be too painful. 

This must’ve gotten caught up in the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor, which you’d scooped up and packed. You tried hard to resist, but before you could stop yourself, you pressed the material to your nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled like home, like love, like Joe. Yet again, you descended into sobs as you curled into a ball on your cold, kitchen floor. 

****************************

12th October 2024

The tour began in Brighton. Despite a difficult month since breaking up, you were feeling optimistic about your career, even if your love life was a shambles. The UK and Europe tour had sold out, with a couple of dates in the USA selling out too. Your bandmates, Dan, Amy and Frank were also psyched for the tour and their excitement and enthusiasm was contagious. They’d been incredible, picking up the pieces of the broken person that walked through the doors of the recording studio a couple of weeks before, jet lagged and delicate.

The Brighton venue was only a couple of minutes walk from the beach, so after getting in and sound checking, you donned a face mask and baseball cap stolen from Dan - and headed down to sit by the sea. 

Grateful for the ability to be anonymous that public face mask wearing had afforded you, you trudged over the stony seafront, the chilly October air whipping around you. The others had offered to go with you, but you declined, needing a little alone time. 

Due to the chilly weather, the beach was quiet - meaning you could perch on a sparsely populated patch of pebbles and take your mask off to breathe in the salty air. The breakup still hurt. Each and every day you regretted your decision. This pain hurt way worse than the pain of being apart, but still being his. The only difference was, you knew this pain would end. Eventually, the two of you would move on. ‘This too shall pass’ was what your Granny always used to tell you. 

Pulling out your phone to take a snap of the choppy sea, you noticed a message - an Instagram DM responding to your story. The story was an on-stage selfie of the soundcheck - the whole band grinning at the camera. Even your smile wasn’t entirely forced. Opening the message, you noticed it was from @djotime and your heart began to race. 

@djotime replied to your story: Have a great tour, can’t wait to hear more of the new stuff. 

You smiled to yourself. It was the first message between you since your mutual apologies once landing back in London. Aside from viewing each other’s Instagram stories, there had been radio silence. Even Charlie had thought better than to bring up one of you to the other. 

You bit your lip as you typed out a reply. 

You: Thanks, hope your shoot is going well x

You knew he must be reaching the end of the Stranger Things shoot, if he hadn’t already. It’d been a while since you’d last had an update from Charlie. You sent the message and looked out towards the sea. A small voice in the back of your mind had you wondering if you’d see him at one of the USA tour dates. The thought excited and terrified you at the same time. 

**********************

25th October 2024

The 5th date on the tour was in Leeds. A homecoming gig of sorts - at least the closest place that had any decent music venues. Before going over to the venue, you made your way long to see your Grandmother. You’d been up a couple of other times, taking day trips where you could. Her condition was deteriorating and each time broke your heart, but you knew not seeing her would be even worse. 

“Granny? What did I tell you about leaving the door unlocked?” you called out, as you walked into the cottage. “It wasn’t unlocked for long, I had the nurse leave it unlocked when she left so I wouldn’t have to get up to let you in” she said, sitting in her favourite armchair as you rounded the corner into the living room. 

“I have a key, you don’t need to do that” you said, but you couldn’t be mad at her, not when she looked that frail. Your parents had told you they were struggling with getting her to eat and drink. With dementia, it’s yet another thing forgotten. “Where’s your handsome boyfriend?” she asked. Only a few weeks ago, she held you as you sobbed into her soft woollen cardigan, soothing you as you let your broken heart bleed. Now, she expected him to walk through the door. It stung in more ways than one. 

“Joe and I broke up, Granny” you said, giving her an abridged version of the story as she reached for you like last time, offering you the same words of comfort. You made her cup after cup of tea, all of which remained un-drunk along with countless glasses of water. Even the toast you made, and ate to encourage her was left to go soggy. 

Despite everything though, it felt nice to be with her. Especially as you knew Charlie couldn’t. As you sat by her side, watching a re-run of her favourite gardening programme, she turned to you. “Your young man came to visit me this morning” she said, as if the thought had only just occurred to her. 

“What young man?” you asked her. “Joseph! Your lovely american lad. Brought some shortbreads look” she said, pointing at the tin of biscuits on the coffee table. The same ones you’d brought her on your last visit. “Gran, I don’t think..” you began, but she interrupted you. 

“Such a polite man, he’ll make you a very happy wife one of these days I tell you. Handy too. Fixed the roof tiles, and got the family of foxes down off there as well” she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

You’d heard about this before. One of her most common delusions was of a family of foxes living on her roof. The entire place had been checked for any pests which might be making noise - but to no avail. That was the cruelty of the condition, things didn’t need to make sense - and so often they didn’t. 

You tried to smile and nod along, which was usually the best response, but she continued to talk about Joe and his phantom visit. It was so convincing, with details of him you were surprised had stuck with her; that you almost believed that he really had been to visit her. “You’ve clearly trained him well, made us a cuppa and didn’t leave the bag in. Milk in last as well, just as it should be. Even Betty took to him” she continued, referring to the old sheep dog she’d had back when she was still engaged to your grandfather.

Yet again, the universe sent another blow to your heart, not letting you forget about him. 

******************************

1st November 2024

After a run of fun, successful UK gigs, it was time to tour Europe. Date 1 was in Berlin, the first of the Europe dates to sell out. You had no idea you were so popular on the continent, but as you walked the streets of Berlin, you were stopped multiple times for selfies, autographs and conversations. 

It felt nice, like a huge step in your career. You managed to speak to people struggling with their English in your broken German, which you hadn’t studied since you were sixteen. Those encounters lasted a little shorter than those entirely in English. Just as you were heading back to the venue to sound check, a couple of girls stopped you. 

“Excuse me, I’m sorry - we are seeing the show tonight” they said, in a thick accent. “May we have a picture with you?”. You obliged and stepped into the frame, smiling into the camera. “Oh, and I’m wearing this” said one of them, showing a t-shirt with your band’s picture on it. You complimented her, and her friend stepped forward, unzipping her hoodie. 

“I do not have one, so I wore your boyfriend, no?” she said, revealing a Stranger Things t-shirt. Not just any Stranger Things t-shirt - one with a huge picture of the ex-boyfriend you were trying so hard, and failing, to get over. Your eyes widened as you stared at his stupid handsome face, wielding a bat covered in gnarled nails. You smiled a tight-lipped smile at her and wished them a great night, jogging away towards the stage door. It was becoming a sick joke now. 

**************************

Morning, 2nd November 2024

The Berlin show was incredible. The crowd sang along every word, and responded well to the new tracks. Despite the small setback of being presented with Joe’s face on a t-shirt, you felt like you were in a good place. 

As you woke up the next day, in a plush king-size bed - your heart finally felt a smidge lighter. You laid, letting your body wake up a little before reaching for your phone. 

10 missed calls. 

Mum (6)

Dad (2)

Charlie (2)

1 new message

Mum: Give me a call when you get this sweetheart. 

Before you could call her back, you knew in your stomach what had happened. The phone rang and rang, finally your mother picked up just as it was about to head to voicemail. 

“I’m sorry darling, she’s gone”. 

****************************

Evening, 2nd November 2024

“Are you sure you want to go ahead with it?” asked Kate, as you stood in the green room of a Hamburg music venue. “Yes. Mum and Dad said there’s no point in me coming home. They’re organising the funeral, they don’t need help and I don’t want to go and see her in the funeral home. So I can either go and sit in my dead grandmother’s house and cry, or I can play a show to the hundreds of people who have paid to be here” you said, trying hard not to snap after being asked ‘are you sure’ for the hundredth time. 

“Babe, you’ve just had a bereavement. They’d understand!” said Amy. “I know they would, and I know we could try and book in another date. But honestly, I just want to play. Granny would be furious if I skipped it. Please, I just want to try and carry on like normal. When we finish the Europe dates, then I will go home and grieve, I swear” you promised, looking at the four pitiful faces around you. 

“Fine, if you’re absolutely sure. After the show tonight, we’re putting you all in a tour bus. It’ll take you to the remaining dates in Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris. Then it’ll be a flight to Barcelona before going home. You’ve got press engagements in each city. You sure that’s doable for you?” asked Kate. 

“Absolutely” you replied, happy to be too busy to think about much else. 

*******************************

3rd November 2024

“Alright, look we’re about to get on to the Autobahn and I have no idea how well the signal will hold out. I’ll be back at my parents' house on the 18th, so I’ll catch up with you then, okay?” you said, saying goodbye to Charlie after the two of you had finally been able to connect. It felt good to talk to him, the two of you sharing in each other’s ache over losing your grandmother. 

Charlie had mentioned that Stranger Things had already wrapped, so you wondered whether he’d told Joe. And if he had, would Joe send you a message? You briefly considered telling him, but thought better of it. Joe liked your Granny, but it felt a little too much to text your ex about the passing of a woman he only met once.

********************************

19th November 2024

Your Grandmother’s house was still and silent. It was no longer full of the vibrant love and energy it once was. Suddenly it felt like a shrine. You were grateful Charlie and Natalia had agreed to stay there with you after the funeral, to free up rooms at your respective parents’ places for other family members travelling out of town. You knew that you and Charlie would have been the only people she’d have trusted to stay there without her. 

The funeral went well. Nice even, as nice as funerals can be. It was private, full of memories and even laughter as stories of the woman in her prime were recounted. Her death was sudden. A heart attack in her sleep. Your mother assured you she’d have felt nothing, passing peacefully. You weren’t sure whether she was telling the truth, but you chose to believe it. 

Now everything was over, you sat on the couch, facing her empty arm chair. Natalia stood in the kitchen, preparing a meal that you were sure the three of you would only pick at. Charlie sat beside you, flicking through the pages of a photo album. 

The quiet was welcomed, comfortable in the silence but soothed by not being alone. That was, until Charlie’s phone rang. “One sec, let me get this” he said, facing the screen away from you and scurrying upstairs. One thing he must’ve forgotten though, is how much sound travelled in the cottage. You sat still, as you heard his conversation - despite his attempt at hushed tones. 

“Hey mate, you alright? Yeah… yeah I’m so sorry I completely forgot to tell you. No I told him I couldn’t make the party. He didn’t tell you why? Yeah my Gran died, her funeral was today. Yeah, yeah thanks man. No, no it’s fine we’re back at her house you’re not interrupting. Oh uh… yeah she’s here too. She’s… she’s doing as well as me I think. You two haven’t talked? I… look if you wanna talk to her then give her a call or a message. I don’t want to put her on the spot by passing her the phone man, okay? Yeah. Yeah I will. Sorry for not telling you I couldn’t make it, hope the party was good. Yeah, yeah see you”.

You looked down at your phone in your hands. Joe wanted to talk to you? You couldn’t decide whether or not you were glad Charlie hadn’t passed you the phone. Sure, it’d probably set you back a little, having been so absorbed in work and then your grief, Joe had finally not been at the forefront of your mind. Not all the time at least. But god, you wished you could talk to him right now.  

Playing dumb, you smiled at Charlie as he entered the room, allowing the two of you to fall into the same companionable silence. Your phone never did light up with a message from Joe.  

Chapter Text

29th November 2024, New York, New York

First night of the tour, a total success. You’d convinced yourself you might see Joe in the audience, but he wasn’t there. Unsurprising really, he had no reason to be in the city. 

30th November 2024, Chicago, Illinois

Despite yourself, your heart still thrummed at the idea of Joe coming to see you in Chicago. He’d mentioned trying to come see it, should his filming schedule allow. He’d spoken so highly of the city which was once his home - like he wanted to show it off. The venue was beautiful, one of the larger ones of the entire tour. It was an old converted theatre that’d had the seating ripped out, and huge Marshall stacks added in. 

As you played the gig, your eyes kept wandering the audience - looking for that familiar face. Try as you might, you could never work out whether the knot in your stomach was excitement or dread at seeing him. Of course, it’d be great to see him - but would it bring about those old memories? Thrusting to the surface the idea that you both might have made a huge mistake.  

After the gig, you hung back in the dressing room longer than normal, taking your time getting changed in case anyone was to knock on the door. No one came, no one out of the ordinary anyway. Relief or disappointment? Still unclear.

2nd December 2024, Houston, Texas

After a couple of days travelling, with a couple of press interviews thrown in for good measure - you arrived in Houston, Texas. Compared to the chill of New York and Chicago, the climate was mild. After being trapped in various modes of transport, you took the opportunity to sit out on the hotel veranda - enjoying the comfortable sunshine over a coffee alone. 

It felt nice to be alone, as much as you loved everyone you’d been spending time with - it had become a little overwhelming, especially with the thoughts of your Granny and Joe flying through your head. It was hard to think when at any one moment someone was talking to you, or playing a youtube video out loud, or tuning up for what felt like too long a time. 

You had a couple of hours before being needed at the venue, so you were determined to sip your coffee, enjoy being outside without a coat and scroll Instagram uninterrupted. As you did, you noticed a new story from Joe, showing him flying into Dallas Fort Worth airport. Sure, it wasn’t the closest airport to Houston, but he was in the same state! Was he going to come and see the show? 

That evening, when doing your hair and make-up, Amy noticed the effort you were making. “Who are you dolling yourself up for?” she asked. “The people of Houston?” you offered, but you knew she’d seen you preening a little more than normal. “Don’t bullshit me, you’re really going all out tonight. Is someone coming to see the show?”. 

You sighed and looked up at her. The sparkle in her eyes told you she already had an inkling. “I saw Joe is in Texas. He landed in Dallas but it’s only like a 4 hour drive. I was thinking he might come and see the show” you admitted. Amy nodded slowly and sat down beside you. “Mmm hmm. And you’re getting done up like this for your ex-boyfriend because…?” she said, giving you a side-eye that felt like she was looking into your soul. 

“Because… I don’t know. No one wants to look like shit when they see their ex, right?” you said, trying to brush off her insinuation. “No, no that’s true but he’s not just an ex, and you don’t even know he’s definitely coming. Do you hope he is?” she asked. “No, I don’t know, maybe? I mean we didn’t end on bad terms, we don’t hate each other. Maybe it’d be nice to see him again” you said, avoiding her gaze in the mirror. 

Amy sat watching you for a few moments, waiting for you to say more. Finally, she couldn’t take it any more. “Do you regret breaking things off?” she asked. You paused, setting your make-up down on the counter. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do” you said, but you didn’t quite believe your own words. 

“Alright, put it this way. If he turns up and asks to give this another shot, would you say yes?” she asked. You opened your mouth to tell Amy you’d stick to your guns. Tell her that the break-up was the best thing for both of you. But suddenly you felt like you’d been hit by a truck as a realisation struck you in an instant. 

“Oh fuck.. Yeah. Yeah I would” you said, eyes wide as you came to the conclusion. “So why don’t you make the first move! I know you, I’ve known from the start that you didn’t want this, not really. Don’t wait for him to come to you, go get him!” she said, nudging your arm. 

“I can’t Ames! If he asked me of course I’d say yes, doesn’t mean that would be the right thing to do. Plus, who knows if he even wants to. We haven’t talked beyond one message on Instagram since I landed back in London weeks ago. 

Amy sighed at you, frustrated with your stubborn nature which she’d come to expect, but still wouldn’t put up with. “Can I tell you something as your friend, which I didn’t say before but I think you’re ready to hear?” she asked. 

“Sure, I feel like you’re going to tell me anyway” you replied. “Correct. Look, we’ve been friends for years, so I feel like I can say this and you might not hate me. I think you both have made the stupidest and most cowardly decision of your lives, to break things off just as they were getting started. I think you got sad and scared, and rather than powering through, it seems like you both just gave up” she said. 

Amy’s words stung, but you knew they were coming from a good place so she avoided a kick to the shins. That didn’t mean you agreed with what she said though. “Amy, I was miserable just waiting to be with him, or hear from him again” you said. Amy jumped straight back in. “Oh and you’re a bundle of laughs now though, right?”. 

“Amy that’s not fair - I’m grieving!” you protested. “Yeah, you are but even before that. Babe I love you, but it feels like you’ve just shifted from one state of missing him into another. You really couldn’t see a future in the relationship?” she asked. 

“No! If we’d been together longer then sure, but I can’t ask him to consider me in his future plans when we’d barely just begun” you told her. “But what if you wouldn’t need to? What if he’d do it anyway, because that’s the sort of shit you do when you love someone?” she asked. 

“Joe didn’t love me” you countered. “Oh bullshit. Maybe he never told you but you can’t really tell me you didn’t see love in his eyes when he looked at you. And before you try and deny it, I know you love him too. Save your breath trying to argue with me, because I know what I see. Just.. if he comes tonight I really think the two of you need to talk” said Amy, standing up to leave. 

As she stepped away, you reached for her arm, pulling her towards you. “Amy? I’m sorry. Thank you for being real with me. I’ll think about it, I really will” you said. She nodded, and left you to continue getting ready. 

The show went great, it was lively, and you really put your all into the performance. You refrained from scanning the audience for his face this time, knowing if he’d made it this far, he would come and find you after the show. 

Once again, you took your time getting ready, mentioning to security that you were happy for anyone to come see you should they ask to. After a body shower and a touch up of your make-up, you dressed back into your non-sweaty street clothes and began to pack your things back up to leave. There came a knock at the door, and you just knew it was Joe behind the door. You could sense it. 

Suppressing the grin that’d plastered across your face, you headed over to the door - opening it up to see who was there. 

“Hey!” said Kate, waltzing into the dressing room. You hated how much your heart dropped, and how your eyes scanned the corridor behind her to see if anyone else was there. You’d been so convinced Joe would be there. Suppose now you knew how you really felt about the idea of him coming to a show. 

“Since when do you knock before coming in?” you asked her. “Amy said Joe might be coming to the show tonight, thought I’d better knock in case the two of you were getting… reacquainted” she giggled. 

You just rolled your eyes and carried on getting your things together. “Yeah well he’s not here, so you’re all good” you said to Kate, zipping up your case. “Careful, almost sounds like you’re disappointed” she said, but carried on as the glare you gave her made her think better of pursuing the topic further. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know the car is here. Need help with your bags?” she asked. You nodded, swallowing down the bitterness in your throat. 

On the drive back to the hotel, you once again opened your phone to flick through your socials. Yet again, Joe’s story popped up. Snapshots from a gig that wasn’t yours filled your screen, along with smiling pictures of him and friends you didn’t know enjoying the evening. So close, and yet so far. 

*********************************

4th December 2024, San Diego, California 

A perfectly fine gig. Not amazing, not bad. A day in perpetual turmoil - performing in the city in which you knew Joe’s main residence was located. Yet again, he was nowhere to be seen. You continued to avoid the topic of conversation with Amy. 

6th December 2024, Seattle, Washington

Of all the places to have two shows - you hadn’t expected it to be Seattle. However from the get-go, your promoter had wanted to have two shows in the city. Three, if you counted the acoustic set in an independent record shop, organised by the label. It was fun, and reminded you of your beginnings. Finally, something had taken your mind off… well everything. Night one was fun, lively and happy thanks to your earlier set. 

For the first time since starting the tour, you really didn’t think about whether or not Joe would be at the show. 

He wasn’t, anyway. 

7th December 2024, Seattle, Washington 

Night two was fun too. Made even more enjoyable by Charlie and Natalia coming to see the show. They’d arrived late, just before the gig began so you didn’t get to catch up until the end of the evening. Changing and showering, you rushed to catch up with them at a dive bar down the street. 

The place was packed, a couple of people from the show greeting you, asking for selfies - something you still weren’t quite used to. Finally, you moved into the far corner, looking for the booth in which Charlie had said they were waiting for you in a text. As you arrived, it was Natalia you saw first, facing you with Charlie by her side. You walked towards them prepared to slide into the bench opposite, but were taken aback when another figure emerged. 

Before you could notice who it was, Natalia had swept you into a congratulatory hug, followed by Charlie. Finally, you turned towards the third person. 

It was Joe, stood before you with a sheepish smile on his face. 

“Hey.. can I?” he asked, opening his arms slightly, seeking permission to hug you. You nodded, albeit with an air of caution. Suddenly, you were transported straight back to the summer, wrapped in the embrace of Joe. It felt so good. 

“Is it okay that I came along?” he asked, as he let you go. “Sure it is, it’s nice to see you. All of you” you replied, a little shell-shocked. “We’ll go and get some drinks, what do you want?” asked Natalia, her arm looped around Charlie’s in a not-so-subtle attempt to leave you and Joe alone.  You and Joe gave your drinks order and slid into the booth, one of you on each side. 

“Seriously, if it’s weird that I’m here I’ll drink up and leave you to it, I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position but Charlie said they were going and you gave them three tickets for them to bring someone else, but then they dropped out and…” he garbled. “Joe, stop. It’s honestly okay. I meant what I said, it’s really nice to see you. How have you been?” you asked him. 

“Uh, yeah I’ve been okay. Keeping busy. I actually recorded most of an album” he said, and you couldn’t help but grin at him. “You did? That’s amazing, I’m so glad you did it, I know you talked about wanting to. How did you find the time?” you asked him. “I’m lucky really, the guys didn’t mind travelling, so we kinda pieced it together as and when we could” he said, with a smile that almost melted your heart. 

It was crazy, you’d spent so long thinking about seeing him again, about what you’d say, how you’d feel. But now he was here, it was just so… easy. As if the whole break up never happened. “What about you, how’s the tour been? Did you finish the album?” he asked. “Album’s pretty much done too, just a couple final touches. And the tour has been good, nice to explore a few new places. It’s kept me distracted that’s for sure” you replied, worrying your lip between your teeth as your words turned the atmosphere a little cooler. 

“I heard about your grandma, I’m so sorry. I really liked meeting her. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to… well I know you didn’t want me there but..” he said, but you stopped him before he could finish. “Of course I wanted you there. It was never because I didn’t want you” you said, almost arguing back. “No, that’s not what I meant, I just.. I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come” he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Do you think we did the wrong thing?” you asked him. “What do you mean?”. “Do you think we were total fucking idiots to end things the way we did?” you clarified, unsure of where this sudden bravado had come from. You were determined not to say anything, to let him make any sort of move if there was going to be one. But sitting there in front of him, still revelling in the post-show adrenaline - you needed answers. 

“Yeah. I do. I think we were afraid. I think you weren’t able to see past the bad to keep the good, and I think I was too much of a chicken to fight so I just agreed with you” he said. You opened your mouth to speak, but the words fell flat as Charlie and Natalia slipped back into the booth, placing drinks in front of you all. 

They either didn’t sense the tension, or they chose to ignore it, instead going into a whole spiel about their delayed flight, their favourite parts of the show and the projects they had lined up. Deliberate or not, you and Joe fell into normal, friendly conversation - your whole table alive with stories, laughter and the occasional warm look between you and Joe. The bar played classic rock hits, and it was hard not to get up and sing your heart out, especially after a gig. When Queen’s ‘Killer Queen’ played, Charlie’s face lit up.

“Oh here we go, it’s your song!” he cried, grinning at you. “Oh fuck off, it’s not my song” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “Hang on, that sounds like there’s a story behind this” said Joe, intrigued by both reactions to the song. “When we were at school, she sang this for a talent show. Only - you should’ve seen her teeth back then man, she really did look a bit like Freddie Mercury. Of course, we were just kids - we didn’t know. But the teachers called you little Freddie until you left” he laughed. 

You covered your face with your hands, mortified at living through the embarrassment all over again. “No, it wasn’t until I left, it was until your mum explained to me why they called me that, and I cried and told the headmaster” you retorted. Joe smiled at you softly, and you were grateful he wasn’t laughing. “Oh I don’t know. Little Freddie sounds cute, and look at you now - they must’ve known you’d make it big” he said, his eyes sparkling with something you couldn’t quite place. 

***********************

The night wore on, and you were all on the brink between tipsy and drunk. The bar was dying down, and last orders had just been called. “Where are you guys staying?” you asked the others. “We’re at the Four Seasons” replied Charlie. “Oh me too, are you?” you asked Joe, who nodded his affirmation. “Fancy a final drink in the hotel bar?” you asked them, eyeing the barmaid who looked antsy to get rid of her last few customers, to clear up and go home. 

It was agreed, and after a short cab ride, your quartet entered the sleek bar at the Four Seasons, Seattle. You approached the bar and ordered, asking the others what they wanted. Joe told you his drink, but Charlie and Natalia shared a look. “I’m actually really tired, mind if we call it a night?” Natalia asked Charlie, a mischievous glint in her eye that made you give her a glare. 

“Yeah, I’m tired too. You guys go ahead. We’re visiting some of Nat’s college friends tomorrow so we might not see you, so come here” said Charlie, pulling you in for a brotherly hug. “I’m so fucking proud of you” he said, slurring slightly from the drink. “Don’t get soppy on me now, go and sleep it off. Thanks for coming, both of you” you said, moving on to say your goodbyes to Natalia. 

As they sloped off to bed, you turned and saw Joe paying for the drinks. “You didn’t have to, I’d have put them on the tour’s tab” you said, taking the drink gratefully all the same. “I know, but I never really got to congratulate you on the gig, not properly, so here - cheers to a fucking amazing show” he said, toasting your glass as you both settled into a couch in the corner of the bar. 

“Thanks. I really am glad you could come with Charlie and Nat. What brought you to Seattle in the first place?” you asked him. “Oh, nothing else. I had a couple days free and when they offered me the ticket I just booked a flight and a room. I’m leaving tomorrow, but this was so worth it. Seeing you was worth it” he said, taking a deep drink. 

“Oh yeah?” you smiled, loving how much his eyes raked up and down your body. You leaned into him, crossing your legs in his direction. “I missed you so fucking much” he admitted. “Me too. I’m really sorry. I still don’t know whether what we did was the right thing, but fuck… it’s not been easy” you say, running your fingers gently up his outer arm. 

“Have you… have you met anyone else?” he asked. “It’s only been a couple of months Joe..” you replied. “Yeah, and you’re gorgeous, and funny and talented and really fucking hot so surely there must’ve been someone?” he pushed. You shook your head, half in denial and half to move your hair in front of your blushing cheeks. You had almost forgotten how affected he could make you. 

Joe noticed though, and wasted no time brushing your hair back with his free hand. You looked up at him through your eyelashes. “What about you? Any pretty girls keeping you company on set?” you asked him, praying he’d have a similar response. “Nope, not one. I’m still pretty hung up on my ex…” he said, inching closer to you. 

“Is this a bad idea?” you ask, knowing exactly where this was going, as his eyes dipped down to your lips. “Oh, terrible. Just say the word and I’ll stop. I know we’ve had quite a lot to drink” he said, so close now you could feel his breath peppering your flushed cheeks. “I wouldn’t say I was drunk… just… buzzed” you said, barely above a whisper. “I’m drunk on something that’s for sure, but I don’t think it’s the booze” he said, finally closing the gap between you. 

Finally, after months of longing, of regret and uncertainty. After an evening of stolen looks and tension, his kiss soothed the part of your soul that’d been bleeding slow and steady since you parted. There was no trepidation, no awkwardness, no complex feelings. The kiss was mutually deepened almost immediately, both of you blindly placing your drinks down on the table, your hands desperate to roam each other’s bodies. 

“Shall we… shall we head upstairs?” he asked, eyes blown with arousal. You nodded, quickly draining your drink before letting yourself be pulled to your feet and ushered into the elevator. Once the doors slid shut, Joe pinned you against the back of the mirrored box, his tongue exploring your mouth with a fervent need. 

The doors pinged open all too soon, and gratefully there was no one there to see the two of you in such a compromising position. “Mine or yours?” you panted. “Mine’s at the end of the hall” he replied. “Mine’s just here, 706” you grinned, nodding towards a door mere feet from the elevators. You fumbled with your purse, fishing out your key card as Joe pressed himself against your back. 

Once the two of you were in the room, and you’d taken a cursory glance to make sure housekeeping had tidied the place up a little - you flicked the deadlock on and turned to pounce on Joe. His hands flew to your hair as your kisses filled the room with obscene, almost aggressive sounds. Your fingers grazed the bottom of his shirt, which was soon tossed up and off his body. Running your hands over the hair on his chest, something you’d missed so much - he looked down at you, his eyes filled with a sincerity that stopped your heart for a second. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, chest rising and falling rapidly as his heart hammered against his ribcage. “Keery, if you don’t fuck me right now I swear to god..” you said, tearing off your own shirt. “No, seriously - are you sober enough for this?” he asked. You smiled, pausing to meet his gaze with a similar intensity. 

“I’m sure. I promise I want this. Do you?” you asked in return. “I’ve thought about precious little else since you left my apartment” he said, sinking to his knees. He dragged your jeans down your thighs, watching in wonder as more and more of your skin was exposed. He tenderly helped you out of them completely, holding you steady as you balanced on one leg. Once you stood there in just your bra and panties, he sat back on his haunches to really take you in. 

As he looked up at you, it looked like he wanted to say something, but the words died on his tongue. Instead, he leaned forward once more, kissing your clothed pussy with hot open mouthed kisses. You moaned sweetly, each inch of your body feeling like it was on fire with need. Deciding against making you wait, he repeated his motions and dragged your underwear down your legs. You felt exposed, having not exactly planned for this when you got ready after the show. But it didn’t matter. As soon as you heard Joe’s shuddering breath, and felt his tongue flatten against your slit, all other thoughts melted away. 

Pushing you slightly, Joe helped you step back and on to the bed - laying you back without ceasing his tasting of you. “Mmh, missed you. Taste so fucking good” he moaned, muffled by his mouthful. He devoured you - there was no other word for it. It felt amazing, as his tongue explored you like it was his last meal. Clearly, Joe hadn’t forgotten how to get you off. After a few more minutes, he added a finger into your clenching hole, followed by another. You knew he was trying to coax out an orgasm and by god, if you weren’t going to let him do it. 

“Gotta make you cum, at least twice princess. Come on, cum for me baby, fucking soak me like I know you can” he growled, as he increased the speed of his ministrations. With his free hand, he placed just the right amount of pressure on your lower stomach - the added sensation driving you over the edge as you came all over his face and chest, whimpering as he eased you through the comedown. 

Slipping his fingers from you gently, he pulled you up into his arms. “You okay?” he asked, chuckling slightly at the fucked out expression you wore. “Jesus fucking Christ, that was… really good” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him, your taste still on his lips. As you kissed him, you made light work of the rest of his clothes, his achingly hard cock springing out - a sight you really had longed for on those lonely nights since leaving Atlanta. 

Once freed from the last of the material, he lifted you up as if you were weightless, pushing you up against the wall, his cock brushing against your puffy cunt, still dripping wet. “Fuck me, need you” you said, too aroused to care about the fact you couldn’t even string a sentence together. Finally, you felt like yourself again - back with Joe, your bodies intertwined in once hot, desperate mess. 

You felt his cock breach your hole, as he used the wall to support your weight, fucking you up against it fast and hard. He licked and nipped at your neck as his hips hammered into yours. It was fast, too fast almost - a part of you wanted to slow down and cherish the intimacy - but a bigger part knew it was what you both needed. Instant, needy, pent up. 

“Oh god, oh fuck… I don’t.. I think I’m gonna..” he said, sounding almost pained. “It’s okay, we’ve got all night, give it to me come on” you encouraged, teeth sinking into his neck as your tight hole milked him. He spilled into you, groaning long and low as it never seemed to end. Still deep inside you, he kept you pressed against the wall and lazily kissed you, soft and slow - a stark contract to the hard and fast fucking you’d just had. 

“You okay honey?” he asked, as sweat beaded his brow. “Yeah, I uh… I think we might’ve needed that, I know I did. I think we have a lot we need to talk about, but I’m fucking exhausted. Can we lie down for a little while first?” you asked. “Of course, come on let me… there we go” he said, slipping out of you - leaving you disappointingly empty. Things suddenly felt so normal, so domestic as you both padded into the en-suite bathroom, silently cleaning yourselves up as you had done so many times. 

Finally, you both crawled into bed. Joe lay on his back, pulling you in to rest your cheek against his chest. “We really do need to talk at some point, huh?” he said, with a laugh that sounded almost sad. “Yeah, but I think the post-orgasm haze has mixed with my post-gig comedown and I think I’ll make about as much sense as… I don’t fucking know something that doesn’t make sense” you sighed, making Joe cackle, his laugh contagious. “Rest sweetheart. I just want to say, I’m so glad I’m here with you right now” he said, drawing lazy circles over your back. 

It wasn’t long before you both fell asleep. Despite all intentions for a talk and maybe even a round two, the fatigue had you both unconscious in minutes, sleeping the kind of sound slumber that only comes from sleeping in the arms of your lover. This time, it just happened that this one was still your ex… technically.  

***************************

When you awoke, you were filled with a satisfied sense of warmth. There was no confusion, or regret. The memories of the night before, though tinged with an alcohol blur, came back immediately. It was time to start again, and not make the same mistakes twice. 

You turned to face Joe, reaching out towards the other side of the bed, but your hands met nothing but cool, empty space. “Joe?” you called out, your voice croaking slightly. There was no response. You sat up and saw the bathroom door was open - you were alone in the room. You tried to call him, wondering if he’d simply gone to his room to collect his things. The call went straight to his voicemail. 

Before you could process the fact he’d left you without a word, the door clicked open. “Wakey wakey! We need to go!” called Pip, flouncing into the room. “What the fuck? Why do you have a key to my room?” you asked her. “I have keys to all your rooms, perks of the job. It’s for times like this when one of you sleeps in. We’ve got a radio interview in less than an hour. Move, come on!” she ushered, flinging the covers off of you. 

You screamed and tried to stop her, but she was too fast - covering her eyes from the image of you laid completely naked. “Jesus, why the hell are you naked?” she cried. “Because I wasn’t expecting you to come in and pull the covers off, that’s why!” you argued, reaching for the duvet to pull it over you. “Well, sorry but come on! Did you not set an alarm? How long were you out last night?” she asked, choosing instead to grab a pillow - the one which still smelled like Joe, to beat you round the head with it. 

You checked your phone again, and still noticed nothing from Joe. Just multiple calls and texts from Pip, who’d been trying to make sure you were awake for an hour or so. “Not late, just got… distracted. Charlie, Nat and Joe came to see the show and..”

“Joe? As in, your ex Joe?” she clarified, with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, and before you ask - yes we did and no I don’t want to talk about it” you grumbled, throwing on a t-shirt and yesterday’s underwear so you’d be decent enough to get to the bathroom and pour yourself into a vaguely human form. 

“Where is he? You didn’t get up with him?” she called, shouting over the sound of the running water as you washed your face. “I don’t fucking know, but he didn’t wake me, didn’t text or call so I guess I know where I stand” you snapped, desperately trying to think of a reason why he’d have left you alone, after such a physically and emotionally charged evening. There was so much left unsaid, a second chance that felt like it was slipping through your fingers. 

“Oh shit, really? I’m sorry that’s… that’s cowardly of him. You think he regretted last night?” she asked. “I don’t know, Pip! And I know it’s not your fault, and you’re just looking after me, but I swear to god, any more questions and I think I might actually snap at you. So please, just give me ten minutes and I promise I will be down in the foyer, ready for the interview” you said, irritation coursing through your veins. 

You looked at Pip through the reflection in the mirror. She nodded a tight lipped smile. “I’m sorry, you’re right it’s not fair of me. I’ll be downstairs” she said, and left the room swiftly. You felt terrible. She was just curious, and doing quite literally what she was paid to do - but in the few minutes you’d been awake so far, there had been such a barrage of different emotions that you knew one more comment might’ve caused an argument. You made a mental note to apologise later, and buy her lunch. 

Despite the time crunch you were on, you walked back into the bedroom and sat down - picking up your phone. Again, you tried Joe but it didn’t connect. Was he on a flight? Had he blocked you? Was he simply back in his own room, showering? After everything the two of you had gone through, you never thought he’d do something so careless. Surely, there was no way - right? 

Quickly, you tapped out a message to Charlie. 

You: Weird question, what room is Joe in?

Thankfully, his response came quickly. 

Charlie: He was next to us, 720. Why?

You: He left something in my room. Thanks. 

You rushed to throw your hair into a messy bun and hopped into a jeans and t-shirt combo. You were grateful the interview was for radio and not TV, though at least for TV you’d have a team of people to make you up. Once you had your shoes and bag, you left the room, turning for a second to wonder if you should organise the mess of sheets and pillows Pip had made. Time wasn’t on your side however. 

Mental note number two - give housekeeping an even bigger tip. 

You jogged along the corridor, bypassing the elevators - instead reaching room 720. You knocked heavily, in the hopes that if he was in there sleeping, you’d wake him. There was no answer. You knocked once, twice more - but to no avail. Feeling defeated, you called the elevator and headed down to the foyer, where Pip and the rest of the band were waiting for you. 

Crossing the sleek floors once more, in a decidedly different mood than last time, you spotted the rest of your party waiting for you. Before you reached them though, you saw the check-in desk and had an idea.

“Good morning! How can I help?” asked the perky receptionist, her white teeth almost blinding you. “I wondered if I could leave something here - my friend is staying in room 720, Mr Keery? He left it and I wondered if you could give it to him when he comes back?” you asked. “Oh I’m sorry, he’s already checked out. I can take it in case he calls back for it, what was it?” she asked. “Oh, never mind - thanks!” you said quickly, before she could realise you didn’t have anything for him at all. 

Walking back over to the rest of the group, tears welled in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” asked Pip, her face etched with concern. “He just fucking left. I thought… we seemed to be back on track and… but even if we weren't, to just leave?!” you said, meekly. “I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to try and cancel this?” she asked, rubbing your back in a soothing motion. “No, no it’s fine. Let’s go” you said, plastering on a brave face, with a smile that never really met your eyes. 

*******************************

Later that afternoon, Julie - housekeeper of the Four Seasons, Seattle reached the seventh floor. She stepped inside room 706, to make the bed, clean and refresh the complimentary products. She noticed the room looked dishevelled, but it was far from the worst she’d seen. Maura on reception had told her it was a musician staying here - the whole band in fact. She couldn’t remember the name, but it wasn’t someone she’d heard of none the less. 

Still, as far as musicians went - they’d clearly been house trained. There were no wild parties to clean up, no tv’s thrown from windows and even more thankfully - no drug paraphernalia to avoid. She hummed a tune as she worked, something from her home country that her mother would sing to her. She stacked fresh towels, organised the mini bar and ran a vacuum cleaner round before heading over to the bed. 

Whoever had been staying here had clearly left in a rush. There were clothes scattered around the floor, and the bedding was strewn all over the place. She picked everything up one by one, and neatly made the bed. As she tucked the duvet into the mattress, tight and neat, she noticed a folded piece of paper on the floor, sticking out from under one of the discarded pillows. She picked it up, and, after placing the pillow in it’s rightful place, sat on the bed to read it. 

Honey, 

I’m sorry, tried to wake you but you were dead to the world. I gotta go for my flight. 

I really hope you don’t regret last night. If you don’t, or at least if you want to talk, call me. Text, whatever. 

I’ll leave it in your hands. 

I hope I hear from you.

Yours always, 

Joe x

Julia stood from her short break, and did a final check of the room. “Hmm, I wonder if she did call him..” she wondered to herself, throwing the used note in the trash before carrying on her list of rooms to refresh. 

Chapter Text

8th December 2024, Seattle, Washington

There had been radio silence from Joe. Sure, you’d also not tried him again - your hard-headed stubbornness refused to be the one to call, when he was the one who’d slept with you and left in the morning without so much as a goodbye. Instead, on a day of in Seattle, you found yourself stood at the waterfront, chilly northern wind beating against your face. 

It was peaceful almost, being removed from the hustle and bustle of the city, staring out at ferries sailing back and forth. Your peace was interrupted, as it so often is, by Charlie. His name adorned your screen as it buzzed in your palm. You sighed, but answered anyway. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, we’re back home. Just wanted to give you a call” he said. 

“That’s bullshit Charlie, since when have you just called me to let me know you’re home? What’s up?” you asked him, frustrated at his hesitation to ask for exactly what he wanted. 

“Alright, look - what happened between you and Joe?” he asked. 

“I knew it. Why don’t you ask him?” you reply, but without malice - just genuine curiosity. 

“I have, I tried to anyway. He didn’t want to talk about it. Seemed cagy”.

“Yeah well, I’m fairly sure you don’t want all the details. There’s some things family members don’t need to share”.

“Yeah, yeah obviously I don’t want to know all that! But it seemed like the two of you were getting on, and we never heard Joe come back to his room and we kinda assumed you two might be working things out? Only when I called him, he didn’t want to talk about it. Only said it was between the two of you, and he hoped you’d call” said Charlie. 

You scoffed, astounded by the audacity of Joe, to ‘hope’ you’d call him. That just cemented it in your mind further - if he had second thoughts on sleeping with you again, and wanted to run away as if nothing happened then that’s what you’d let him do. If he regrets that decision… well it was up to him to come to you. 

“I kinda don’t want to talk about it either to be honest Char. I know you care about us both, but can you just… talk to me about something else?” you asked him. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry. Look one last thing, do you want me to say anything to him?”.

“No, actions speak louder than words and all that. A decision was made and I think it’s only fair to respect that. Alright?” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose as a headache started to form. 

“Sure, sure alright. Anyway I wanted to ask you about Christmas plans…”

You and Charlie discussed Christmas plans, family visits and dog-sitting. The thought of home sounded really nice right then. Only a couple more dates until you’d return to London. It couldn’t come soon enough. Sure, London reminded you of Joe, but so did Seattle now. 

**************************************

Charlie: Hey man, I know you didn’t want to talk about it. I just spoke to her. I don’t know what’s happened between you, but I want you to know I’m not picking sides. You’re both like siblings to me. Let me know if you need anything, alright?

Joe: You heard from her? Did she say anything?

Charlie: Not a whole lot, she didn’t want to talk about it either. Just said a decision has been made, and it’s only fair to respect it. I assume you know what that means?

Joe: Yeah, thanks man. 

Joe hung his head, feeling like the biggest fool in the world. It was definitive proof - you’d made your decision and that decision was to not call him back. You clearly regretted your night together. He sighed, and cursed himself for being so stupid as to actually think the two of you could work it out. 

******************************

Late December 2024

You made it through the festive period. Being surrounded by your family and friends had done you the world of good. The way Joe had left you stung, but with the new year would come more work to throw yourself into. The album was almost ready for release, with the final tracks being mastered, the artwork approved and legalities being… legalised.  

Towards the end of December, you sat in a coffee shop, working through some emails. One popped to the top of your inbox which stopped you in your tracks. 

________________________

FWD: SUBJECT: WRITING CREDIT QUERY - MR J D KEERY

Hey, 

Had this through from the legal team at AWAL. They’re facilitating Joe releasing an album. 

Thoughts?

I know this might be a bit of a sore topic, sorry. 

Kate x

_________________

ORIGINAL MESSAGE: 

Dear Sir/Madam, 

I hope this email finds you well. It is in regards to writing credits for two songs being featured on an upcoming release by my client, Mr Joseph David Keery under the band name ‘Djo’. 

Mr Keery acknowledges that your client had contributed considerably musically and lyrically towards two songs due to feature on the release. While the songs will remain firmly as Mr Keery’s intellectual property, he has instructed us to contact your client to ascertain whether she would like a writing credit on the album. 

Song 1: Basic Being Basic is due for release on 24th January 2025. 

Song 2: Link is due to be an album track. 

I attach two forms, one as a release to confirm your client does not want writing credits. One to confirm writing credits, for which negotiations can be undertaken for royalties. 

Please respond at your earliest convenience with a signed copy of the appropriate form. 

Kind Regards, 

1. Garrison 

AWAL

________________________

You were taken aback somewhat at how irritated this had made you. Sure, it all needed to be done legally - but he couldn’t even bring himself to call you? After all you had, after fucking you and leaving you in your sleep - he couldn’t call you to ask this himself? You gritted your teeth and tapped out a response. 

___________________

Kate, 

Don’t want credits.

We will need to ask the same question about a song on the album, if he says he wants the credits that’s fine.  

Will send details now.

Thanks. 

_______________________

If he wanted to talk through lawyers and labels, the two of you could play that game. Yet, despite how angry you were at him, and his actions - you couldn’t help but feel an immense sense of pride. You knew how much Joe loved his music, and how much he wanted to get back into it, release an album. The things you’d heard so far, that you’d even helped him to hone had truly been fantastic. It was this sense of pride that made you decline the songwriting credits. 

You’d done nothing, not really. Especially not on the single. You chuckled at the irony of him releasing a song about his ex, co-penned by another ex but hey, it was catchy and sure to be a hit. You couldn’t help but wonder whether any of the songs would be written about you. There were for sure a couple on yours inspired by him, both from when you were together, and when you were apart. With one last minute addition penned the day after he left you without a word in your hotel room in Seattle. 

************************

24th January, 2025

The hook to the song had been going around your head in a loop for a solid week, as the teaser for Basic Being Basic had taken over TikTok and Instagram. To start with, it was painful - each time it brought you back to a peaceful writing session between the two of you, barely dressed, racing downstairs in your house to work out a nagging melody Joe had come up with. 

You wondered how the song will have evolved - would your contributed lyrics even be left in the final release? If anyone, especially Joe, had known that you were sat at your laptop, Spotify open, eagerly awaiting the full track release you’d have been mortified. It felt like a guilty secret, a private shame only to be done behind closed doors. 

People checked in on their ex’s all the time, right? This was no different to checking his insta profile, or so you thought to yourself. Finally, after your millionth refresh of the page - a new release was listed. You clicked on it and listened as the song began. It was great, perfect even. The right amount of ‘pissed off ex’ energy combined with a catchy beat and a final refrain that sent shivers up your spine. 

Hearing it finished - mixed and produced, his voice so effortlessly sexy you longed to hear it whispered into your ears once more. On your second listen, you found a couple of the lyrics left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

‘I worried, even cried, how'd it feel to take the light from my life?’ 

‘It sent me reeling, still not the same

It’s like my capacity to love and give has changed

I guess I'll thank you and spite your name again

The past's the past, and I'll outlast the hate to find real love that's not pretend’

Words he wrote about a heartbreak, a love turned sour that nearly destroyed him. Yet, wasn’t that exactly how you were feeling? Still reeling from the whiplash of that night in Seattle, of realising how much you needed each other, to being left feeling used, unwanted, cheap. There was a large part of you that changed that day, a light going out if you will. 

How Joe could sing about feeling such heartache, after doing the same to you made your stomach churn. You turned the song off after the second play, desperate for a distraction. You picked up your phone, and dialled Charlie’s number. You knew he was back in London, and as far as you could remember, he had a friend visiting him. A friend you were keen to meet. 

*****************************

The bitter and jaded part of you couldn’t have timed it better. You were bored, sad and a little lonely. Was there a part of you that wanted to spite Joe? Well, who could say. Nonetheless, within a couple of hours you’d dragged Amy out with you, to meet Charlie and a couple of his friends in a bar in Soho. 

“Hey, there she is!” called Charlie, his voice only just audible over the music and chatter of the bar. You and Amy walked over, receiving just the right amount of attention to down out the nerves you had. Charlie introduced you to his friends. “This is my cousin, but her parents palmed her off on mine most of the time so we were raised like siblings. This is Connor, he was a grip on the last season. This is Asim, he’s one of Nat’s assistants, and this is Joseph” he said, indicating the last member of the group. 

Joseph didn’t need much introduction. Charlie knew you knew who he was, and he also knew he was well aware of you and your work. The last time he introduced you to a ‘Joe’ castmate, it didn’t end so well. He hoped meeting Joseph Quinn would be a little less dramatic. He gave him a warning glare as he saw his eyes rake over your figure. You however, loved the attention. 

You and Amy let the boys buy you both drinks, and talked and danced for a couple of hours. For the most part, you talked to either Amy or Connor, who was avidly interested in her drum set-up, and your childhood stories of Charlie. Yet the entire night, you caught Joseph watching you, his deep eyes finding you even in a crowd of people. It felt good, and was just the distraction you needed. 

As a group, it was decided you’d all move somewhere else. Now you were in your thirties, you were all ready for something a little quieter and slower as the average age in the bar began to get lower and lower. “Come on, I know a really nice place. It’s not far, we can walk?” said Amy. “There’s a couple cameras out and about, is that alright with people?" said Charlie. 

You looked around at each other, but no one had any real objections. It wasn’t as if anyone was doing anything particularly illegal or interesting. Just a group of friends on a night out. “Yeah, can’t go anywhere with this guy right now without cameras everywhere, everyone wants a piece of you huh?” joked Asim, nudging Joseph. “It’s not just me you muppet, there’s a lot of people in Soho” he argued, though you all knew Asim was right - they were all there hoping to get a glimpse of Joseph Quinn. 

Regardless, you all headed out into the night, Charlie and Amy leading the way. Asim and Connor followed, with you and Joseph bringing up the rear. “Without wanting to sound weird, but I just wanted to say I’m a really big fan. Charlie played your stuff to me while we were on set and I really got into it” he said. 

“Thanks, same here - you’re really making a name for yourself. What are you working on now?” you asked him, grateful for the chilly air that kept your blush at bay. Joseph talked you through his latest project, and you found conversation with him so incredibly easy. “Anyway, I got most of this week off so I thought I’d come home for a while, catch up with some friends. Didn’t expect this much of a walk though, I thought your mate said it wasn’t far?” he chuckled. 

“Oh, trust me this isn’t far for Amy. For us normal people? Sure, it’s pretty far. I think we’re close though, couple minutes maybe?” you said, feeling a thrill of excitement as the two of you exchanged a smile. Despite it only being Friday night, the streets were lively, and most of the walk was just the 6 of you dodging chaos. Unfortunately, as you were distracted by Joseph, a particularly rowdy ‘playfight’ between two guys fell into your path, knocking into you. 

Quick as a flash, Joseph caught you, his arms pulling you steady. He steered you to his opposite side and shouted a couple of obscenities at the brawlers, who barely noticed. “You alright?” he asked, his arm still wrapped around your shoulders in a protective stance, should any more rowdy drunks knock into you again. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’m cold and my feet hurt, so Amy is definitely buying the first round when we arrive, but fine all the same” you replied, wrapping your arms around yourself, the air threatening snow. A small leather jacket seemed such a good idea at the time… 

Wordlessly, Joseph removed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. It was like something from a rom-com and you weren’t sure whether to laugh or swoon at the gesture. Instead, you settled for a thanks and a smile, which he returned dazzlingly. “Well, I guess Amy does owe us one, but I was kind of hoping I could buy you a drink?” he asked. 

“Wow, that was pretty smooth. I guess I could let Amy off this once” you said, the booze in your system helping you flirt effortlessly. Joseph grinned at you, one that made you feel so warm beneath his jacket, scented with an obviously expensive cologne. 

The grin reminded you so much of his Stranger Things character, wide and unabashed. It brought you back to the mortifying moment you’d accidentally sent Charlie the lusty text about the characters of Steve and Eddie. And the moment Joe found out, and the insecurities he had about your desire of his castmate. 

You hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t help but wonder how Joe would feel if he saw you and Joseph together. 

After finally arriving at the bar, Joseph kept true to his word and bought you a drink. Your group found a large corner sofa in the far end of the bar, plush leather and velvety cushions. The place was nice, with soft acoustic guitar music at just the right level, with some sweet smelling incense burning somewhere. Joseph sat close beside you, your outer thighs touching. 

“Can I ask you something a little personal?” he asked, turning to face you, resting his arm on the back of the sofa behind you. “You can ask, doesn’t mean I’ll answer” you replied, with a smile to soften your somewhat defensive answer. “Charlie mentioned you were seeing Joe, Joe Keery. I haven’t seen him for a while, but last time I did, he seemed to be really into you. What happened?” he pried. 

You paused, slightly prickled by his question. “How come you’re asking me, and not him?” you enquired, similarly to how you had with Charlie a couple of months prior. “I don’t feel like it’s a telephone conversation, and you’re here and he’s not. If you don’t wanna talk about it, then I won’t bring it up again. But even Charlie seemed to not know” said Joseph. 

“It just didn’t work out. Distance, schedules, he made it pretty clear how he felt and I’m just respecting his wishes” you said, still not wanting to give away what happened. “You seem angry” observed Joseph. “What makes you say that?” you asked. As far as you were concerned, you’d been doing a pretty good job of keeping your facial expressions in check. 

“You started clenching your jaw, you began picking the label off the bottle of beer in your hand, and your foot is tapping on the floor. I’m sorry, I’ve clearly hit a nerve, I can just piss off if you want me to” he said, looking genuinely apologetic. You felt bad, clearly he - just like Charlie; cared about Joe. “No, no - don’t do that. You can get me another drink to make up for it, but don’t piss off, else I’ll have to talk to Charlie again and I’ve had enough of him over Christmas” you joked. 

He nodded and walked towards the bar, leaving you to your own thoughts. Joe once again crossed your mind. Of course you were angry, you were still hurting and hearing those lyrics earlier had hit a nerve. But this, flirting with his friend? Trying to hurt him? It just wasn’t you. You imagined the photos of you walking, draped in Joseph’s jacket with his arm around you and it filled you with a deep pit of dread and guilt. 

When Joseph returned with your drink, you had a question for him this time. “So, can I ask you something?”. He nodded, and you continued. “If you know things might’ve ended badly between me and Joe, why were you still okay with flirting with me all night?”. Joseph looked taken aback, caught out almost. 

“I… well.. I wouldn’t say I was flirting I just…” he began. “No, no you were. And I flirted back. But I think we both know it’s not a good idea, right?” you said. Joseph smiled sadly. “It’s not because I don’t want to. Trust me, I want to”. You smiled at him. “Yeah, me too. Guess Charlie should’ve introduced us sooner, huh?” you say, grateful he was on the same page of all of this not going any further. “I wish he had. Friends?” he asked, offering you his hand. You laughed at the absurdity of the gesture, but took it anyway. “Friends. Anyway, I know you’re probably sick of being asked about it, but please can we talk about you playing with fucking Metallica?”.

****************************

Joe didn’t often scroll through Insta’s recommended posts. For the most part, he’d look at stories of those nearest to him. But as he sat in his trailer, on a particularly drizzly day on set - there wasn’t much else to do. 

That was when he saw it. A press shot of the night before in London, of you and Joseph, along with Amy, Charlie and a couple of other guys. He saw Joseph’s arm around you, his jacket draped over your shoulders. It made him feel as if he’d been punched in the gut. Before he could even second guess himself, he called Joseph. 

“Hello?” answered a groggy voice. 

“Are you dating my ex-girlfriend?” he asked, no, demanded. 

“What? No of course I’m not man, why would you ask that?”

“Because I’ve just seen a photo of the two of you looking pretty cosy last night. You knew how crazy I was about her dude…” he said, but Joseph cut him off, having done a quick search himself and found the snap.

“Woah, seriously - I haven’t… we haven’t! We all went out together, she was cold so I gave her my jacket, and some drunk idiots barrelled into her, it was rowdy so I kept my arm around her. I swear, that was it” said Joseph, opting not to tell his friend about the flirtation, or the fact that your previous relationship was the only thing keeping him from kissing you that night. 

“I… fuck. Fuck! I’m sorry I just…”

“What happened between you guys? I tried to ask her, and she got really defensive. It’s clear the two of you still feel something towards the other?” asked Joe. “Plus, it’s 3am over here you bastard, so it’s the least you can do”. 

Joe proceeded to tell his friend everything. The break up that it turned out neither of you wanted, the night in Seattle, his inability to wake you, the note, the lack of a call and Charlie’s quote of you ‘respecting decisions that were made’. 

“I told her, I said please call me if you don’t think this is a mistake” he finished, taking a breath. 

“Have you tried to call her?” asked Joseph.

“No, I left the ball in her court. She never called me, she declined writing credits for songs we did together. It’s pretty fucking clear she’s moving on, or at least wants to”. 

“Look, I don’t know the girl, but when I asked about you, it clearly bothered her. She sounded like you, like she was the one waiting on the call that never came. Sounds to me like both of you are being a bit stubborn. Like neither of you want it to be over, but you’re both waiting for the other to make the next move. It’s a stalemate, and you can tell how tired I am when I start using chess references”. 

“I’m sorry, I really am. I just saw the photo and I just felt… well anyway I’ll let you get back to sleep. Let me know when you’re back over here, alright?”

The two Joes bid each other goodnight. Joe sat back on the rigid couch of the trailer, finger hovering over your contact. 

*****************************

27th February 2025

It’d been a busy time for you and the band. The first single of the new album had just been released, with the full thing coming in a month. There were more tour dates, TV appearances and press engagements on the horizon. A busy time, but you were grateful to be kept away from your thoughts. 

It also meant, you hadn’t been online too much. So when, as you drove to visit some friends in Leeds; a new Djo song appeared on your ‘New Release Radar’ playlist, you were somewhat taken aback. This one was one you’d not heard, and the title didn’t look familiar. ‘Delete Ya’. It sounded great, a retro vibe that felt good blasted through your speakers while driving at speed. 

This time, however - as you listened to completely new lyrics - you found the whole thing weirdly familiar. As a matter of fact, the song sounded suspiciously like it was written for, and/or about you. Needing to hear it again, properly; you pulled into the nearest service station. Once parked, you picked up your phone and played the song again. 

The song felt as if it spoke to you and your experiences of this break-up. The frustration of feeling completely unable to move on yet. Not only that, the lyrics seemed to speak directly to your experiences over summer. 

“And now I'm back on your couch, frozen peas to my head

Driving up to your folks, cramming into your bed”

There was no two ways about it, that was your visit to Leeds with Joe, when you accidentally shut the car boot on his head. You’d laid him on your parents couch, and laughed as your mother gave him a bag of frozen peas in lieu of an ice pack. Then the evening, stuffed into a small bed, giggling like teenagers under your parents roof. 

Were you being dramatic? Was this just another one he’d already written about his ex before you? It didn’t feel like it. 

“We're sitting dead on the ground, there's nothing more to be said

You kept it tight to the chest at someone else's expense

That doesn't sound like real love”

Was this about you? Sitting in his rented apartment in Atlanta, telling him how you weren’t sure you could carry on. This felt so much worse than listening to Basic Being Basic. This was a message to you, it had to be. You wanted to call him, would it be weird to call him? But what would you say? 

‘Oh hey Joe, did you write this song about me, or am I just being self-important?’ 

And so what if he did, would it change anything? Change the way he left? No. Instead, you picked a different playlist - one with absolutely no songs by your ex-boyfriend and set back off on your journey. 

*******************************

4th April 2025

You were a glutton for punishment - you always had been. So it was no surprise that on the release date for Joe’s album, The Crux, you were sat at your kitchen table ready to listen to it. The idea was you’d have it on in the background while doing some life admin, but from the very first track, you were glued. Perhaps you were looking for them, but you kept finding little pieces of lyrics that struck a chord with you. 

Your heart bled with him in Lonesome is a State of Mind, feeling the sense of betrayal in the line “Thought that you were on my side”. Hearing a fully realised and mastered Link was an incredible experience. He’d kept everything you’d added and made it even better. 

Potion was another that really made you think. “I'll try for all of my life, just to find someone who leaves on the light for me”. It cast you back to that night, so long ago when you’d kept the lights on in your house, in the hope he’d come by and wake you, rather than spend a night apart from him. It spoke of trying to find love, when it never quite compared to what you had. What you’d lost, what he’d thrown away. 

Egg, a song that sang of not letting fear make your decisions. A lesson perhaps both of you should have heeded a long time ago. Fly, much like Delete Ya, left you wondering whether you were the muse of the song. 

“No, I don't look back in anger

Do you?

Falling back to her

Could be easy to do

But I must fly

Fly away from her”

You genuinely couldn’t decide if you hoped it was about you or not. 

In a whiplash of emotions, Charlie’s Garden made you genuinely laugh and smile. His cameo especially, and the fun, whimsical melody really did make you feel like you were spending a warm afternoon in Charlie’s garden once more. 

The next song title piqued your interest. Gap Tooth Smile. From start to finish, there was no way the song wasn’t about you. It was even exactly his reaction upon seeing the incredibly humbling old photograph of you with your gap teeth in your grandmother’s living room ‘there she is’. Joe had brought up periodically how adorable he’d found it, and each time you’d roll your eyes. “Freddie said it right ‘cause she’s my killer queen”. Well it hadn’t been so long since Joe had found out about your old nickname, and the unfortunate Killer Queen incident as a young girl. 

“But I fell in love with her gap tooth smile”. He was in love with you? One night at home, you’d heard him playing something and he’d admitted it was a song about you, but that couldn’t be this one. This was far too upbeat, and the one you’d heard all that time was slow, a ballad. You’d remembered how your heart had sung, knowing he’d ‘written you your very own ‘Something’ like George Harrison’. This wasn’t quite that, but god did it make you wish you were his again. 

Clearly his feelings had changed since, but the song was good - it only made sense to still include it on the album. Moving on, you immediately recognised the piano intro. This was the song, the song he wrote about you. At least, musically. Of course you’d never heard any lyrics. Perhaps they’d changed completely since the breakup. Nevertheless, the lyrics were beautiful and full of a love you still grieved. 

Back on You felt like a desperately needed palette cleanser. A love letter to his sisters and friends, you wondered if it was Charlie. You couldn’t help but smile at the lyrics and tap your feet to the melody. The final song, Crux, was another beautiful number. As it came to a close, you stood and walked outside, leaning against your open front door to take in deep breaths of the spring air. 

It was quite the 45 minutes you’d just had. Were you really over thinking things, or were half the songs on the album inspired by your summer together? God, you missed him. As if the universe had listened, your phone buzzed. 

It was Joe. 

Chapter Text

4th April 2025 continued

“Hello?” you answered, half expecting it to not really be him on the other end. 

“Hey, it’s me, it’s Joe” he said, and you huffed out a laugh. “I know, I saw that. Is everything okay?” you asked him, suddenly panicked that something was wrong. 

“Sorry, I uh, I didn’t know if you’d deleted my number. Yeah everything’s fine I just need a favour. My laptop completely died and it had the demo recordings on it that you sent me. I’ve been asked to do an interview where we go over the demos for the album and what they sounded like, and I wanted to include them but then that happened, and I tried to find them on the email you sent, but I think I deleted it just in case it was hacked and..” he rambled. 

“Joe, Joe, slow down. It’s fine, I can send them again. I think I still have them. I’m home so I can do it right now” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. 

“Thanks, I really appreciate it”. 

“Surprised you didn’t just ask your label to email mine again” you said. You couldn’t help yourself. You regretted it a little as soon as the words left your mouth but it was too late. The hurt and resentment for the way he had left things had been stewing for months and it had finally bubbled over. 

Joe was silent for a few seconds on the line, releasing a slow sigh. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I know it was a shitty thing to do” he said eventually. He sounded small, sorry, and like he was ashamed. Good. 

“Yeah, didn’t feel great” you replied, and again the line went silent. Neither of you spoke, but neither of you moved to hang up the call either. The quiet was tense, uncomfortably so, until Joe cleared his throat.

“I… I know it was cowardly but I was trying to respect your wishes. I thought you’d prefer I didn’t call you directly” he said. 

“Why would I want that?” you asked him. 

“Becasue you made it pretty clear how you felt when you didn’t call. I gave you an out, you took it and I was fucking devastated but I didn’t want to push you” said Joe. 

Rage boiled beneath your skin. How dare he put the blame on you?! All this time, the radio silence, being left feeling used in a hotel room of an unfamiliar city with nothing but the scent of him on the bed sheets. Storming back into your kitchen you placed the phone on speaker and angrily began searching for the files to send him. As soon as you could get them sent, the sooner you could just forget about him, once and for all. 

“You ‘gave me an out’?!” you spat, fingers angrily slamming against the keyboard as you keyed in your password. “Is that what you call fucking off after sleeping with me and never calling me?”. 

“What? No! I had to leave, I tried to wake you up but I couldn’t and I had to catch my flight. I wrote you that note and, sure maybe it was a chicken shit move to put the ball in your park but I made it pretty clear. All you had to do was call me” he argued back. 

“What fucking note?” 

“The note! I left it on the pillow so you could see it.”

“You didn’t leave a note” you said, adamant there was nothing there. 

“I did! I left a note, and I told you to call me if you didn’t regret that night. I was worried you’d wish we hadn’t… you know. I thought leaving quietly would make it easier for you if you did, save you having to have another conversation about how much you can’t handle a long-distance relationship!”

Joe sounded angry, but not at you. You weren’t sure how you could tell, but there was a softness behind the frustration. 

“Don’t pretend that conversation was one-sided, Joe. We agreed it was hard, that it would be too much to handle. And I thought we’d both agreed that night in Seattle that we’d been absolutely fucking stupid. I thought we were going to give it another chance!” 

“So did I! But when you didn’t call, and when Charlie said you’d mentioned something about ‘respecting decisions that were made’ it seemed pretty clear you didn’t want me”.

“I didn’t call because you left without a word, I was pissed! Then Charlie said you’d ‘hoped I would call’ as if I would just call you up like nothing happened!”

“Wait, hang on - you really didn’t get the note?”

“You really wrote one?” you asked him, suddenly pausing your furious searching through sound files on your laptop. 

“Yes!”

“Why didn’t you just text me?!”

“I don’t know! I just thought a note would be more… I don’t fucking know maybe I’ve watched too many stupid romance movies. I wrote you a note, and I said how I had to go, and asked you if you didn’t regret what we did, to call me. When I didn’t hear from you I just had to assume that was because you’d got my note and made your decision. You never saw it?”

“No! I.. I don’t know why becasue… oh fuck”

“What?”

“That morning, I’d slept in a bit so Pip stormed in using her keycard. She flew in and pulled the covers off me. I had to get ready in like 10 minutes and when I got back… my room had been made up by housekeeping” you said, the realisation hitting you like a train. 

“You never saw the note…” Joe repeated, sounding almost relieved. 

“And fucking Charlie… he just told me about you hoping I’d call…”

“...and he told me you’d ‘made a decision’”

“We need to stop letting Charlie be the middle man” you said, with a light laugh. 

“Yeah, or you know, actually talk to him. Then none of this would’ve happened if we’d actually confided in the guy”

“And fucking Pip! She just let herself in and pulled the covers off and saw a lot more than she bargained for” you chuckled. 

“Really? Did she learn her lesson?” 

“No, she did it in Kentucky as well, only this time I was wearing pyjamas”.

Joe laughed at this, a sound you’d so greatly missed. The betrayal and hurt suddenly melted away. Sure, things could have been handled better, but finally knowing he didn’t just walk out on you felt like a balm against the gaping wounds in your heart. 

“I’m so fucking sorry. What a stupid fucking thing to do, a damn note” he sighed. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I wanted to but I think it was a pride thing..”

“You don’t have to explain yourself honey. What a mess, huh?”

“Yeah”

Another silence fell, but this time it felt different. There was still a weight to it, but it felt less awkward, less volatile. You sent the files over to Joe and closed your email window, revealling your still open Spotify tab, having just finished listening to The Crux. 

“I just listened to the album” you told him, not a question, just a statement yet you hoped for a response. 

“My album?”

“Yeah, it’s.. Joe it’s fucking brilliant”

“I uh.. I was going to give you a heads up about a couple of the songs but I just didn’t know how and…”

“I know. I heard them. I.. it’s so weird I just finished listening to it when you called. I don’t believe in higher powers, but that’s crazy, huh?”

“Are you mad?” 

“Mad about what?”

“That I wrote in some of the songs what I was too chicken shit to say to you, and put them on the album for the world to hear. Some, most of them I wrote while we were together, and I just really loved them and..”

“I’m not mad. I’m really fucking proud of you is what I am”

“Yeah?”

“Of course I am! I love your other albums, you know I do but this feels like… I don’t know like something that could be really big! Are you touring?”

“Yeah, we’re in Portland right now. I’ve booked some festivals over in the UK as well, so maybe I’ll see you?” he asked. 

“I’d like that. What ones are you doing?”

Joe reeled off a list of festivals, most of which you would also be at. Finally, he mentioned Glastonbury. 

“You got a Glasto slot? Joe that’s fucking amazing!”

“I feel like I don’t deserve you being this happy for me. I still feel like shit for what happened. I’m so fucking sorry”

“Stop. Don’t it’s… it’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t. And it’s really stupid of us to have been too stubborn or scared to reach out. I did call you, you know?”

“You did?”

“Yeah. A couple of times, but you would have been on your flight I guess, so it never went through. I was so busy the rest of the day, then I spoke to Charlie and… well you know the rest”

“So, what do we do now?”

“I don’t know. But I know I’m stupidly busy”

“Me too, I took on a couple things plus there’s a lot of press commitments for the album”

“So let’s wait. If you find yourself over here, give me a call. If I end up over near you, I’ll do the same. Otherwise, I guess I’ll see you at Glastonbury”

“Can I text you sometime?”

“Yeah, yeah of course”

“Cause I really want to know what you think about the album. I thought about you a lot while I was making it. I mean, that’s pretty obvious, but I thought about the things you’d tell me, how you’d add to a melody or make suggestions. I really want to know what you think technically”

“Sure, I’ll give you my full review pretty soon, okay?”

“Thanks. I’m sorry again”

“Me too. I gotta go, but the files should be with you”

“See you later”

“Bye sweetheart”

Well shit, that was not something you expected today. A door that felt so firmly closed, locked, welded shut, had begun to creep open. 

__________________________

1st June 2025

You and Joe had exchanged a couple of messages, all of them friendly - nothing more. Mostly, you were comparing a couple of venues, ones you’d just done that he was now performing in. You were having a quiet night in with a couple of friends when Joe had sent you a selfie of himself drinking his first pint of Guinness in Dublin. You’d be lying if you said seeing his handsome face hadn’t sent a flush to your cheeks. 

Regardless, it did feel good not to hate him anymore. To hear his name or his voice or that fucking Kate Bush song, and not feel sick. 

Alongside the image, Joe had written ‘UK tour starts now!” which made you laugh. You replied: 

You - Dublin’s not in the UK but yay! How was the flight?

It felt like you’d been transported back 15 years, smiling at your phone as a boy messaged you, keeping the grin from your friends so you wouldn’t be grilled about it. Joe’s reply came quickly. 

Joe - Shit, not doing my ‘dumb american’ image any favours, huh? I’m in London next week, if you’re free I can get you a ticket or we could meet for a coffee? Both?

You - Actually, me and Amy have a ticket for Saturday night. Coffee sounds great though! 

************************************

6th June 2025

It had been decided, around your schedules, that the two of you would meet on the Friday, before Joe’s second London show. After attending a radio interview recorded in Manchester, you hopped on the train and headed back towards London. The rest of the band had stayed back, opting for an evening out at some of Manchester’s best bars. It sounded nice, but you were so excited to see Joe again. 

Unlike the last time, you wouldn’t be caught off guard. It was arranged, and you knew the two of you had a lot to talk about and catch up on. Life, of course, but more pressingly - the farcical misunderstanding that had kept you apart for months. The train pulled out of Manchester Piccadilly at 13:15. Though you didn’t enjoy trains, you knew driving would have taken considerably longer than the two hour journey you were on now. 

At least you’d opted for a first class seat - you were doing well after all. All being well, you’d be pulling into Euston station at 15:30, jumping in a cab and meeting Joe by 16:00 at a cafe, one you’d taken him to way back in the previous summer. You figured you’d send him a message, to update him on your journey. 

You - Just set off from Manchester, still on for later?

Joe replied almost immediately. 

Joe - I wouldn’t miss it. You’re sure I can’t meet you from the station?

You - It’s out of your way, don’t worry. See you soon x

Joe - Can’t wait x 

You felt a warm calm, as the train shot down the tracks - the urban landscape giving way to rural fields illuminated by the warm June sunshine. You put your headphones on, picked a playlist and let yourself daydream. 

Just past the halfway point, at 14:34, the train came to a standstill just outside Rugby. It wasn’t such a strange occurrence, these things happened all the time. But after ten minutes, you began to get restless. You turned off your music and removed the headphones to listen for a conductor announcement, which soon came after. 

“Ladies and Gents, apologies for the delay here in Rugby. We’re being held at a signal due to trespassers on the line. The police are working to catch them and get them to safety but unfortunately all trains along the track including ourselves, have been forced to a stand-still. As soon as I have any updates, I will let you know. In the meantime, the buffet cart remains open for any hot and cold drinks, snacks and sandwiches. Toilets remain functional, and if anyone has any medical conditions we should be aware of, please make this known to me as I walk down the train in a few moments. Thank you”.

Great. At least it wasn’t an issue with the train itself, or something fallen on the tracks. Those sort of incidents would take hours. It couldn’t possibly take longer than this to catch some trespassers on the line, right? 

You - My train is delayed, I don’t know by how much. What time do you need to leave to get back to the venue?

Joe - Not until like 6. How long do you think it’ll be? 

You - No idea, I’ll keep you updated. I’m so sorry. 

An hour later, 15:44, and things were looking bleak. The train assistant placed another complimentary packet of biscuits, and glass of juice down on your table. “Can I ask you something?” you enquired, and she nodded. 

“Is everyone on the rest of the train being looked after, are you giving them something to eat and drink?” you asked. “The buffet cart is open, so anyone can get what they need. We don’t have to start giving freebies out until it’s been three hours” she said, without the slightest bit of remorse for the cruel company policy. Here you were, free snacks and drinks on tap - but hundreds of other people were stuck in what was essentially a metal tube, breathing in recycled air. 

You thanked the assistant, and once she left, you stood and made your way down the train, from carriage to carriage until you found the conductor. “Excuse me?” you asked, and he turned around with a smile. There was a flash of recognition in his eyes, but he remained professional and didn’t say anything. “Can you accompany me to the buffet cart please?” you ask, and he did as he was told, leading you through two more carriages until you reached the cramped quarters of what constituted the ‘buffet cart’. 

“How much for all of this?” you asked him. “I’m sorry, like one of everything?” asked the young girl behind the counter. “No, like to buy out the stock, so you can pass out a drink and a snack to everyone on the train” you explained. “Miss, that’s very kind of you but if people have any medical emergencies we would provide them with..” began the conductor, but you interrupted him. 

“No, no I know - if there’s someone diabetic you’ll give them a bag of sweets I know. But I want to ensure everyone has a drink and something to eat. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, I’d just like to pay and have someone hand them out. Is that something we can do?” you asked, trying to keep your patience. 

“I… uh… yes, yes I think we can do that. I don’t know how much it would cost though. Until we knew how many people would take something I…” said the conductor, trying to work out the logistics in his head. “Not just the passengers, the staff too. Okay? Look, I’m not exactly going anywhere, here’s my seat number just bill me afterwards” you said, showing him your ticket. “That’s so nice, thank you!” beamed the girl behind the counter, who had clearly had an earful from some frustrated passengers already. 

“Are you sure? Is there a limit you want us to stick to?” asked the conductor. “No, it’s fine. Just take care of everyone, and give me the bill” you said, giving him a smile before walking back to your seat. 

When you returned, you noticed your phone still on the table had a missed call from Joe. You called him back straight away. 

“Hey, sorry I missed you - I was buying a couple of hundred sandwiches” you said. 

“You.. a couple hundred? You really hungry or something?”

“No, I’m.. I’ll explain later. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah I was just going to start heading over to the coffee shop, I wondered if you had any update?” he asked. 

“No, I’m sorry. We still haven’t moved a muscle. Look, if you want you can just stay where you are and we can try…”

“No, no it’s fine. I’ll see you, I… really want to see you” he admitted.

“So do I. I just worry by the time I get there we’ll say hi and then you’ll have to go again”.

“Well if that happens, then I’d rather say hi and goodbye in the same breath, than not at all. Alright?”

“You’re a real smooth talker Keery, you know that?”

“I’ve been told once or twice” he said, and you could almost hear the grin he gave. 

“Anyway, can you tell me about the sandwiches now?” he continued. 

You talked with him for another twenty minutes. It was the first time you’d talked on the phone since April, but it felt like nothing had ever happened. He made you laugh, you made him laugh and it made you buzz with want, but ache with separation. He’d had to go, preparing to jump into a car and head to the coffee shop to be there when you arrived, even if it was much later than planned. The quiet that filled the carriage was incredibly lonely all of a sudden. 

17:00. An hour after you were supposed to meet, and an hour before Joe was due back at the venue, before the crowd would be heading in. The train finally began to move, to cheers across the carriages. It would still be an hour until you would arrive at the station, and longer still until you’d be meeting Joe. You called him to break the news. 

“Hey sweetheart, you on your way?” he answered. 

“The train’s just moved, but Joe I’m not gonna make it in time. Plus you’ve still gotta get back before the crowd bombard you at the door and…”

“Woah, hey, hey it’s okay. Can I see you tomorrow?”

“I’m out all day on this press tour. I’m coming to see the show in the evening but won’t arrive until you’re about to go on, and by the time you’re done, you’re heading out to the airport, right?”

Joe sighed at the other end of the line. “Yeah. Alright look, if I can get out to see you at all, I will, okay? Just get home safe, get straight in a cab back home, alright?” he said. 

“Yeah, I will. I’m so sorry, I was really… I wanted to see you” you tell him, disappointment etched in your voice. 

“I know, me too sweetheart, me too. I gotta go and head back, can you let me know when you’re pulling into the station? Just so I know you’re back in London?” he asked. 

“Yeah, yeah I will. Have a great show tonight Joe”. 

*******************************

You didn’t end up pulling into London Euston until 18:30. By that point you were tired, stiff and a couple of grand lighter after paying the bill for the train food - though you didn’t regret it in the slightest. Sure it wasn’t late, but after the crushing disappointment of not being able to see Joe again, all you wanted to do was get home and sleep. 

As promised, you let Joe know you were back in London before climbing into a black cab, giving the driver your address and settling into the worn leather seat as the streets of Central London passed you by. Mercifully, the traffic was kind. Or at least, no worse than expected. By 19:00 you were pulling onto your street. You reached into your bag for money to pay the driver and climbed out, so keen to get home you weren’t too aware of your surroundings. 

So when a car door slammed, and feet pounded the pavement towards you - you startled and held your bag a little closer. You turned yourself to face whoever it was that’d run towards you - to find an out of breath, beaming Joe. 

“Honey..” he said, his eyes wide as if he was trying to decipher whether you were real, or a figment of his imagination. Your mouth opened in shock, but no words came. He was here, Joe was really here. There was so much you wanted to say, and so little time to say it in. Joe must have been feeling the same way, and took another step towards you, and another until he was close enough to kiss you. And he did. 

There was no hesitation, no second-guessing - he kissed you as if it was the most obvious thing to do. Perhaps it was. It took your brain a moment to catch up with what was happening, but as soon as you got your bearings once more, you let him deepen the kiss, tasting the sweetness of his lips - something you thought was long since in your past. 

The world froze. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be conscious of the fact you were standing in the middle of your street, kissing someone as if your life depended on it. Anyone could see, and people probably could - your area was popular with the over 60’s who enjoyed a little curtain twitching. 

You wonder how long the kiss would have lasted, had you not both been startled by the honking of a car horn. “Joe, come on man we gotta go!” called a man in his late fifties, the engine still running of the car Joe must’ve emerged from. Joe waved at him behind his back, but kept his eyes firmly on you, his hands on either side of your face. 

“What are you doing here? You should be at your gig!” you said, still catching your breath from the kiss that really did make you weak at the knees. “I know, I think I’m giving my tour manager over there a coronary” he said, with a light laugh. “I just had to see you, I missed you so fucking much, I’m so fucking sorry”. 

“No, no I’m sorry. This is so fucking stupid. I should have just called you again.. I..” you said, but he kissed you again, with another angry horn honk from his tour manager. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. Can you please come see me before the show? Or after? Even if all I can do is kiss you again before I leave for the airport” he asked, almost pleading. 

You nodded and kissed him again, tears welling in your eyes, though you weren’t sure why. “I promise, I promise. Fuck, Joe” you whimpered, as he held you close, squeezing you tight with his face nestled in your neck. “Joe, I swear to god if you don’t put her down and get in this car I will pick you up and carry you myself” said the irate tour manager, leaning out of the open window. 

“Wait here, one second..” he said, running over to the car and opening the passenger door, retrieving a brown paper bag. He jogged back over and presented it to you. You instantly recognised the bag in his hands. Printed over the front was the logo of your favourite Thai restaurant. “You fed everyone else on that train today, I wanted to make sure you were okay too. I hope it’s not too cold, and that I remembered your order right?” he said, placing the bag in your hands. 

“I… Joe this is… thank you” you said, placing the bag at your feet and throwing your arms around him. It was so much, all at once and yet it felt incredible. “I gotta go sweetheart, please… I’ll put you and Amy on the guest list, forget the tickets. Give your name at the door and you’ll be able to come see me. Please, please come see me” he begged again. 

“I will, I promise. Thank you” you said, melting into a final kiss. It was shorter, but no less sweet or passionate. Joe backed away, stepping backwards to keep his eyes on you as long as possible before turning around, climbing into the car and speeding off, beside the now red-faced tour manager. 

Suddenly, the street felt eerily quiet. It was light, warm and objectively not silent - but his presence was sorely missed. You gingerly picked up the bag of food and stepped towards your front door, unlocking it with still shaking hands. Once inside, you placed the bag on the kitchen counter and opened it. Sure enough, still miraculously piping hot, was your favourite order, completely perfect even down to the extra servings of sauce and crackers you always requested. 

You picked your phone out of your pocket to thank Joe again, but there was already a message from him waiting. 

Joe - I told you, it wasn’t just smooth talking. I’m glad I got to see you. You looked so beautiful. 

**********************************

7th June 2025

“... so basically she asked me invite you guys with the spare tickets so I can be babysat while she reunites with her loverboy” laughed Amy, as you walked with her and her two sisters towards the O2 Forum in Kentish Town. 

“Amy!” you chided. She wasn’t wrong, but her sisters didn’t need to know that. “Oh come on, I’m only messing around. Believe me, I’m glad you had the idea. Didn’t fancy playing third wheel”. As you approached the venue, you gave Amy’s sisters the physical tickets you’d purchased and you and Amy went to the stage door. Once inside, Amy slipped off to meet back up with her sisters, leaving you to find Joe. 

Rather than walking aimlessly through the corridors, though you knew them well from your own shows, you chose to try and call him - but there was no answer. Instead, a familiar voice called to you from behind. “Hey! Joe asked me to keep an eye out for you. We didn’t know you’d be here until he said a moment ago” said Natalia, jogging towards you. “Oh, yeah - bit of a last minute thing” you explained, as you returned her hug. “Come on, we’re all in here. Joe’s just out doing an interview” she explained, leading you into the larger of the green rooms. 

There were a few people you didn’t know, assumedly there to see the rest of the band. But in one corner, you found Charlie and Joseph who waved you and Natalia over. “Alright? I didn’t know you’d be here!” greeted Charlie. You looked at Natalia and just from the slightest twitch of her eye, you knew Joe had only confided in her. 

“Uh yeah, well had a change of plans and decided to come and say hi” you said, nodding appreciatively as a drink was placed in your hand by Natalia. “So you two are…?” asked Charlie. You kicked his shin, playfully but enough to remind him not to talk about your personal business in front of everyone. 

“...are friends who haven’t seen each other for a while. I’m just here to support and see the show, just like you guys are” you finished for him. Sure, you knew there was more to it than that, but the smallest semblance of privacy was something you wanted to hold on to for as long as possible. “It’s really nice to see you again, how are you doing?” asked Joseph. You worried things would be a little awkward or uncomfortable, but the smile on his face but your mind at ease. You settled into conversation with Joseph, while Charlie and Natalia spoke with some of the other guests. It was nice to talk to him again, especially without the booze and breakup-fuelled flirtation. 

Had you not been so keep in conversation, you might have heard the door open, and people greet Joe. You might have even felt Charlie and Natalia’s eyes on you, curious to see the dynamic between the two of you after everything. The first time you noticed him enter the room, was when he appeared right beside you and Joseph, almost placing himself between you. 

“Hey, you made it!” he said, pulling you in for a hug. “Of course I did, I was just catching up with Joseph” you said, completely unaware of Joe’s jealousy when he’d seen the photo of the two of you together back in April. “Oh you’ve met already?” said Joe, playing a little dumb. “Yeah, Charlie introduced us. It was nice to see you again my friend” said Joe, tapping your arm before moving off to join in with Charlie and Natalia’s conversation. 

There was something weird in the way he emphasised the word ‘friend’ that made you wonder if he did have some weird feelings about your last evening together, but it was hard to dwell on it as you looked up at Joe, who’s eyes were locked on you. 

“I’m so glad you’re here” he said, quieter now so only the two of you could hear. “Well, I figured we had a little time to make up for. Plus I had a couple of changes of plans so I managed to get here a little earlier than planned” you smiled, leaning in towards him. “Do you wanna come for a walk with me?” he asked, nodding his head towards the door. 

“Lead the way” you said, and the two of you snuck out of the door, less subtly than either of you might have hoped. 

Joe led you down the dim corridors of the venue, towards a fire escape. Instead of going down, the stairs went upwards towards a door with a push bar. You opened your mouth to ask Joe if he was sure you were allowed through it, but before you could, a gust of warm summer evening air blew across your face. 

You and Joe stepped out onto what you realised was the roof of the venue. “Come on, this way..” he said, reaching for your hand to guide you over the loose flooring… roofing.. Whatever. Finally, he stopped at a small sheltered hut, which you’d have thought was a bus stop had it not been on top of a building. 

“What’s this?” you asked him, intrigued by the hidden gem he’d found. “You never got shown up here? It’s the artists smoking area. Somewhere far away from the streets, but still outside” he explained. “You been smoking?” you asked him. “Nah, not really. Not a lot. But some of the guys do, so they showed me. I thought it’d be nice to catch up in private. Is that okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah, yeah it is. This is actually pretty nice. Makes you want to take up smoking, right? I mean if Freddie Mercury smoked like a chimney and sounded like he did, it can’t have hurt” you laughed. “Damn, you’re really not doing yourself any favours to stop being called Little Freddie” laughed Joe. “Fucking.. Charlie! I swear he’s banned from ever telling another living soul about that” you said, rolling your eyes. “No, come on it’s cute! Any time I hear a Queen song now, I think of you. Which, kinda sucked for a little while but now… now it’s nice” he said, his voice going a little softer, more shy. 

“Yeah, yeah I’d guessed” you said, alluding to the lyric in his song Gap Tooth Smile. “We should talk about the songs, huh?” he said, catching your drift straight away. “We can, if that’s what you want to open with?” you said. “I uh… I feel like some songs on the album were a love letter to you. Some, most of them were written while we were together. Finished when we weren’t”.

“How did you think I’d feel when I heard them?” you asked him. “Honestly? I kinda didn’t think you’d listen. You gotta remember as far as I knew, you didn’t want me. Didn’t want anything to do with me, and I know.. I know we worked out why but… I really liked the songs. The band liked them, and I wanted to release them” he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Did you mean what you said?” you asked. “Every single word” he replied, not even needing to ask what you meant. He knew your brain, and knew you’d have listened to those lyrics and read into them exactly what they meant. “So, what do we do now?” you asked him. “Well, pretty soon I’m gonna have to go back downstairs and get up and sing those songs, but I’m going to sing them to you. For you. Most of them anyway, there’s some kinda angry young Joe songs in there that were written way before we met so…” he explained, stopping as he saw you chuckle at him. 

“I got it, I got it. What now though, like right now?” you asked him. “Well, right now I kinda want to kiss you again” he smiled. “Oh, really? That’s kinda cheesy - I think you really have been watching too many rom-coms” you winked, but stepped closer to him all the same. “I want you to know..” he said, pressing his body against yours to pin you against the wall of the smoking shelter. “... there’s been no one else. I haven’t been able to get you outta my head” he continued, running his hands up your sides, gripping at your body hungrily. 

“No one else, only you..” you panted, as his lips traced delicate kisses from your collar bone to the sensitive part of skin just below your ear. Joe growled at your comment, possessive and primal. “You know I went outta my damn mind when I saw the photo of you and Joseph” he growled yet again, pressing his hardening length against you, with one leg between your open thighs. 

You groaned at the sensation, trying desperately to press against his leg for some relief, but he kept you deliciously pinned in place. “Wh… what photo?” you managed to ask. “You didn’t see it, huh? The one where the two of you looked real cosy, his arm wrapped around you, wearing his coat..” he said, punctuating his distaste for the image with gentle nips to your jaw, and a hand squeezing your backside. 

That caught you a little off guard. You had no idea there was a photo of that night, and despite that idea crossing your mind at the time, you’d long since forgotten all about it. Suddenly guilt crept over you. “I swear nothing happened, it was just cold and..” you started. 

“Oh, I know baby. It’s okay, I talked to Joseph. Kinda let my jealousy get away from me there, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of him with my girl” he said, still teasing you with anything but a kiss. “Your girl, huh?” you asked, rolling your hips against him. That did it. Joe pressed into you even further and dove towards your lips. Much like yesterday, stood on the street outside your house, he poured months of hurt, confusion and longing into the kiss. 

You held him back with as much fervent as you could, your bodies completely pressed together. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging gently in the way you knew he loved. Against your leg, you felt his phone in his pocket buzzing. He could feel it too, but you both ignored it, praying whoever it was would go away. 

Lowering his hands down to your thighs, he picked you up swiftly, wrapping your legs around his waist. He pressed you into the wall as your kiss continued, grinding against each other like a couple of horny teenagers. Still, his phone buzzed. 

“I need you so fuckin’ bad” he said, as the two of you paused to take a breath. “Show me” you challenged, equally as needy. He placed you back down on the floor and traced his hands up your legs, slipping underneath your skirt to the warmth between your thighs. His fingers had just started to tease at the damp satin material, when even more buzzing started. This time, it was your phone. 

“Fuck, someone’s really trying to get through to us” you panted. “It’s ‘cause I need to be back downstairs” Joe sighed. He pulled his phone out at you did the same. Charlie was calling you, Joe’s tour manager was calling him. “You don’t wanna piss him off any more than he already is after yesterday, right?” you asked, nodding towards the name calling on the screen. 

“God fucking damn it… this is not over. This is far from over” he said, a hungry smile on his face. “You go, tell them I’ll be down soon” he said. “Why don’t you just come with me?” you asked him. “I uh.. I need a minute” he blushed, indicating towards the prominent bulge in his jeans. “Alright well, see you out there. Break a leg” you smiled, running your hand down your clothes to smooth out the creases. 

“Wait, hold on a second!” he called, jogging after you. You turned to face him and were greeted by yet another kiss. “Alright, you’re good. See you later” he smiled, smiling at your flushed face. You scampered down the fire escape and rejoined the others in the green room. “There you are! Where’s Joe?” asked Charlie. 

“He’s gone to get ready for the show. Come on, let’s get out there to watch..” you said, convincing yourself you were doing an excellent job of playing it cool. If only you’d seen the knowing looks Charlie, Natalia and Joseph had shared as you headed out to the VIP area to watch the show. 

The show itself was incredible. You felt full to the brim with pride as you watched Joe perform so well, so effortlessly. He seemed a long way from the man sat in your living room, so unconfident in his songwriting. He sang, he played and he even danced - something you found unfairly sexy. He sang old songs, and he sang new ones. 

You sang along with Charlie, Natalia and Joe, acting every bit the fan girl you really were. Towards the end of the set, he told the audience he was playing a song live for the very first time. 

Moments later, the opening bars of Golden Line rang out and your heart fluttered. Joe seemed to look out directly to you. Of course, you doubted he could see you well from the lights, but you knew - he was singing it to you. There was no way you’d be letting him go, not again. 

“Time can give,

and life can take,

but every day is better with you.

How can I repay the due?

The way you know me, love me, pull me through.

Yes, it's true, I do it all for you.”

Chapter Text

28th June 2025, Glastonbury, Somerset

This was it, this really was it. Your whole life, your whole career even had led up to this point. The entire time at the festival, which had only been a couple of hours due to other commitments, you’d been a nervous wreck. You were about to play the main stage at Glastonbury, right before Neil Fucking Young! 

As you entered the backstage area of the Pyramid Stage, the main stage of the UK’s biggest festival, your eyes zeroed in on the man you’d been longing to see. Joe was there, looking effortlessly gorgeous as always, glasses perched on his nose as he nursed a bottle of lager, zoning out of his conversation as soon as you walked in. 

You hadn’t seen each other since getting hot and heavy on the roof of the O2 Forum. After the gig, Joe was whisked away for a flight. You’d text each other pretty frequently, but there was constantly an underlying tension. Perhaps tension wasn’t quite the word, perhaps energy. An anticipatory energy of what was to come next. A conversation you both knew you needed to have, but it was an unspoken agreement that this would be a conversation had in person. 

Finally, you were in the same room again. Immediately, you felt a thrill of excitement shoot through you as he matched your gaze, smiled charmingly and began to make his way through the crowded marquee towards you. 

“Right, so Jo Wiley’s here to talk to you for the BBC coverage of the festival, it’s just round the back so follow me” said a mystery woman in a headset, clutching a clipboard as if it were a lifeline. Kate grabbed your arm and led you away to follow the woman. You looked back helplessly towards Joe, giving him an apologetic tilt of your brow as he watched you go. He lifted his hand in a small wave, and away you went. 

Of course, it’s never just one interview, one person, one engagement. Normally, you don’t mind it - love it even. But when there’s a Joe-sized elephant in the room, you can’t help but itch to get back in there to talk to him. By the time you were finished, you took one step back into the marquee to find him, when Kate once again stopped you in your tracks. 

“I’m sorry, I know you want to talk to him but have you seen the time? It’s time to get ready, baby girl. Hair, make-up and outfit and you’ll be on” she said, once again motherly in the way she can read you like a book, but has to do what’s best for you. She’s right, of course she is. You’d regret it forever if you took to the biggest stage of your life looking anything but your best. You needed time, to get ready, to warm up. Joe was just going to have to wait. 

“It’s that obvious, huh?” you asked Kate. “Honey, you look like a lost lamb looking for its mother. Just… wait. He’ll be here when you’re done and you’re free to do… well whatever unfinished business is between the two of you”. You nodded, feeling ready to get your game face on and enjoy what was about to be the biggest night of your life. 

It was an hour, all-in-all, getting your hair and make-up done just enough that you felt good, confident, and like you might not hate the photos that would come out of the set. You dressed pretty simply, preferring comfort over extravagance, opting for a pair of sheer tights and a faux-leather short skirt - chic but movable. Topped off with your favourite glittery Doc Martens boots and a Queen t-shirt. You reached for your bag to deposit your worn clothes, when another item caught your eye. 

Folded right at the bottom, was something you’d forgotten you’d packed. Well, you hadn’t packed it exactly. You’d been racing out of the door about a week ago, when you almost collided with the postman. After apologising profusely, you accepted the parcel he was there to deliver and stuffed it into your bag. It was only when you were at that evening’s venue that you remembered about it, and opened it. 

Inside was a dark blue t-shirt, with yellow writing across the front which read ‘DJO’. From inside the folded t-shirt fell a folded piece of paper. On it, written in Joe’s unmistakable scribe: 

‘If you wouldn’t let me give you writing credits, I can at least give you some swag. It’s always fun to wear a shirt of a band you love. 

Joe x’

Attached to the note with a paperclip, was a polaroid image of Joe, stood in front of a gig venue - German you reckoned by the language. You smiled at the image, but when you looked closer you realised why he’d sent it. The t-shirt he proudly wore, was one of yours. Not yours by ownership, but one from your band. From your new album, meaning he must’ve bought it pretty recently. 

You couldn’t help but smile as you looked at his grinning face, bursting with pride. You put it on and took a picture to send to him, to say thank you. You kept your message light, but you knew that it was a gesture that meant more than a simple gift. You slipped it straight back off, and put it in the bag before the show that night. Now, backstage at Glastonbury, the piece of clothing felt like it was calling to you. 

Quickly, you whipped off the Queen t-shirt (which was normally one of your favourites), and replaced it with the Djo one. “Does the black and blue look okay together?” you asked Amy, stepping out of the curtained area protecting your modesty from the selection of bands and crews backstage. She took one look at you, and smiled a knowing smirk. 

“It looks fine, you look hot, and he is going to cum in his pants when he sees you” she said, so casual in her obscenity. She took a second and breathed, before speaking again. “I gotta ask though, are you sure you want to wear that? I can guarantee it’ll send the rumour mills into overdrive and I know you two still haven’t gotten your shit together. You sure you want that?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I do. I mean, more accurately I don’t care. I’m wearing it because I want to and because it means something to me. I’m not going to let anything people might say ruin tonight” you say, with a determined smile. “In that case, let’s fucking GO!” she squealed, practically bouncing. The final step of preparation was to get set up with your in-ear monitors, have a brief huddle with the band and warm your voice up. After the huddle, in which the four of you agreed to play the best you’ve ever played, you turned to start singing scales. Traditional? Sure. Does it work? Well, they’ve never let you down yet. 

You stood at the wing of the stage, circling through your usual warm-ups when a voice comes from behind you. “Hey, I just wanted to wish you good l..” said Joe, his words failing as you turned towards him, revealing your choice of t-shirt. “How does it look?” you asked him, relishing the look of shock on his face. “You look, like someone who’s about to play the best set Glastonbury has ever seen. You look like you are way too beautiful to be wearing a t-shirt of some idiot musician from Massachusetts. You look… like a real rock star. And I am so proud of you” he said, with a slight welling in his eyes. 

“It’s always fun wearing a shirt of a band you love” replied, quoting his own words back to him. He laughed at the unexpected call back, and wiped his damp eyes. “God damn it, you’re somethin’ else you know that?” he said, as he began unbuttoning the blue flannel shirt he was wearing. You gave him a quizzical look but as more buttons were undone, you saw what was underneath. It was the t-shirt, the one he’d be wearing in the polaroid. Your band’s t-shirt. 

It was your turn to wipe your eyes now, carefully so you didn’t ruin any make-up. You both stood there, bursting with pride for one another. You looked up into his eyes, determined to remember this moment forever. “Always fun wearing a shirt of a band you love…” he echoed. “... and fuck, I love you. And I don’t mean the band. I mean, I do - you know I do. But I love you. I’m so sorry I haven’t told you before, and I’m sorry this might be the worst time to tell you but I just need you to know I..” you silenced him with a kiss. 

You stood on your toes to meet his lips with yours, your hands joining together at the back of his neck. Fuck, it felt good to do that again. If you’d had your wits about you a little more, you might have used the kiss to give yourself a few moments to think about what he said, and to think about how you wanted to reply. You loved him, of course you did. You’d known that for a long time, even if you’d never really allowed yourself to think about it too hard. You loved Joe, and that’s all there is to it. But a more sensible version of yourself might have thought it through a little, as to whether you wanted to tell him. 

Lucky for you, sensible was never something you’d describe yourself as. “I love you too” you said, the words coming out through a teary smile. “Sorry to interrupt, but it’s show time! Put him down and let’s do this!” called Amy, shattering the moment. It didn’t matter though, you both knew you loved each other. It felt so alarmingly like clarity, like finally, you could take a deep breath for the first time in weeks, months even. Perhaps since you met a year ago. 

“Go smash it, I’ll be right here. I love you baby!” he said, giving you a quick but firm kiss. “Oh my god, fuck yeah, yeah okay. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Will you be here when I finish?” you ask him. “I’m going nowhere. But don’t worry about me, this is all about you. I’ll be here, I won’t be on my own. Enjoy your moment, and I’ll be here when you’re ready” he said, helping to dab at the stray tears threatening to fall. “I love you” you said again, enjoying the way it felt to say those words. Turning finally to join the rest of the band. Kate and some other members of the team lead you behind the stage, to the other end for your entrance, to pick up your instruments, and prepare to walk on the stage. 

As much as you were on cloud nine from your conversation with Joe, you finally let yourself get your head in the game. The crowd sounded excited, loud and ready. Your bandmates were fizzing with excitement and the cameras were poised ready to broadcast your performance nationwide, worldwide even. As the four of you chatted excitedly, your entrance music started. As always, Ozzy Osbourne’s No More Tears began to play, ready for you all to walk on stage. 

“You ready for this?” asked Amy. “Born fucking ready” you grinned, as you made your way on to the Pyramid Stage of Glastonbury. 

***********************************

After the greatest performance of your life, your adrenaline was spiked. As much as you’d been excited to watch Neil Young, you knew you’d not be able to focus or concentrate. You wanted to talk, to move, to celebrate. So instead, you, the band and the team retired back to the artist’s area. You were met with a barrage of people, as could be expected. Someone from the BBC grabbed you for a quick chat, Kate squeezed you tight and sang your praises and a litany of other people from the team, label and fellow acts gave you all kind words. 

A drink was placed in your hand, champagne you assumed - though it wouldn’t be your first choice you certainly weren’t going to kick up a fuss. Finally, after the initial rush, Joe stood before you. His face was beaming, but he kept his distance, his hands clutching his beer bottle tight. “That was so fucking amazing, I just.. Fucking.. WOW” he said, his eyes starry. 

“Sorry, that was.. I thought I might say something a little more put together than that but I gotta be honest..” he said, stepping closer to you, dropping his voice. “... all I can think about his how much I want to kiss you” he whispered into your ear, voice dripping with honey. “Why don’t you? I don’t care who sees” you reply, trying to sound less desperate than you feel. 

“No, me neither, but this night isn’t about us. And if I kiss you in this room full of people, that’s what it’s gonna end up being about. So, instead I’m going to hug you, and go speak to some of the others, have a couple of drinks and look on proudly as you enjoy this moment, right here tonight” he said, with a sweet smile. 

You sighed softly, in longing and appreciation. As much as you needed to kiss him, to feel his body against yours - you knew you’d never get a night like this again. Still, you knew you couldn’t wait much longer. “Where are you staying tonight?” you asked him. “I’ve got a car taking me back to a hotel a village over. What about you?” he asked. “We’re in a hotel too, not too far. Think your driver would mind a change of plan?” you asked, reaching for a napkin and a pen to write down the address. 

“Honey, I’d walk there in bare feet if I had to” he said with a grin, folding the napkin into his pocket as another vague acquaintance called for your attention. “Go, I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna catch up with the rest of the band, congratulate them too, okay?”. 

The next hour or so passed in a blur. There was a never ending carousel of people to talk to, the names of most you knew you’d immediately forget due to the buzzing in your brain. It might have quickly become unbearable, but Joe kept himself close. Never hogging your attention, but checking in with you, or simply brushing his hand against yours as he passed. Little looks and touches to keep you reassured. 

Finally though, you’d begun to reach the end of your social battery. The people were loud, the music was louder and all you wanted to do was get back to your hotel room. After flagging down the rest of the band, to tell them you were leaving, and asking Kate to call a driver for you, you went to find Joe. 

Sure enough, he wasn’t so far away. As soon as you approached, he made his excuses to the man he was in conversation with, and smiled. “You doing okay?” he asked. “I’ve had the best night of my life, but if I don’t get into a quiet room soon I think I might go crazy, so I’m gonna head back” you told him. “Oh shit, are you okay?” he asked, concern etched across his features. “I’m fine! Just a little… overwhelmed but in the best possible way. I’m happy, but I’m tired and ready to call it a night” you said, stifling a yawn. 

“You want me to come with you?” he asked. “No, no don’t worry, stay as long as you want. I won’t be going to bed just yet though so if you did want to come by..” you began, but Joe eagerly nodded. “Honey, don’t worry leave it to me. You wrote down the hotel name and your room number, I’ll be there before it gets too late, alright?” he said, reaching for your hand. 

You said goodbye, and followed a security guard out to a waiting golf cart (the peak of luxury of course) which took you through to the artist’s pick up zone. The driver helped you in with your bags, and finally, after the beautiful chaos of the day, you were treated to silence. Well, not quite silence. The driver was playing a 60’s radio station a little louder than necessary - but he wasn’t talking to you - and that was peace enough. 

As The Hollies played in the background, you allowed yourself to sit back and rest your head against the cool glass of the window. As you sped through rural roads, leading away from the festival site, you realised you hadn’t checked your phone since coming off stage. As predicted, there were messages from friends and family, a number of missed calls from your parents, texts from your parents telling you to stop partying and call them so they can tell you how much they enjoyed it etc. 

Charlie and Natalia sent a shot from their spot in the VIP area of the crowd, along with a video of them singing along to their favorite song of yours - while holding up a framed photo of your late grandmother. That gave you a lump in your throat.

Finally, there was a message from Joe. Looking at the time of delivery, it had been sent while you were on stage. Intrigued, you opened it up and saw another photo of you on the stage. This one was taken from side on, clearly from Joe’s vantage point. The picture was simple, and captured a moment in which you’d turned to look at him, a smile on your face as you played mid-riff. Beneath it, on the rest of the message, read ‘I know that’s my future, looking right back at me”. 

***************************

The life of a musician isn’t always glamorous. By the time you were back in your hotel room, you looked as if you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. The golf cart ride had kicked mud up the side of your legs, your make-up was melting off from sweating beneath the stage lights and your hair looked seven shades of birds nest. It was the first time you’d seen yourself in proper lighting, and you were grateful you had time to fix yourself up before Joe arrived. As you began to strip and take your make-up off, you called your parents back. 

You kept them on speaker phone as you padded around the room, welling up as they did - the people who had given you so much became overwhelmed with emotion and pride. As you talked, you’d managed to get a clean face, wrap yourself in a fluffy hotel robe and snack on some overpriced minibar Pringles (because if you can’t do that after playing Glastonbury, when can you?). All that was left to do was get a shower before Joe arrived. 

Of course, it was pretty hard to get your parents off the phone. Despite it being well past their usual bedtime, they seemed to be hyped up on more adrenaline than you. A knock on your room door startled you. “Uh, I’ve got to go, there’s someone at the door” you said, wrapping your robe tighter around your middle to ensure you were covered. “Who’s there at this time? Don’t answer it before you look through the peephole, okay?” said your mother. 

“It’s probably Kate, I’ll let you know. Goodnight, I love you” you said, hanging up and - as your parents told you to do, looking through the peephole. There stood Joe, slightly out of breath, clutching a holdall and a bouquet of flowers. You opened the door, surprised by his early arrival. Before you could ask what he was doing there already, the moment the door opened, his lips were on yours. He kicked the door shut behind him and let his bag drop to the floor, his free arm wrapping around your waist. 

“I’ve been dying to do that” he said, still a little out of breath once he finally let you come up for air. “What.. how did you get here so quick?” you asked him. “Oh, I left pretty much as soon as you did. You were the only person in that room I wanted to talk to and I’d already spent most of the evening hating the fact I had to share you. I just got the car to my hotel, grabbed my bag and came here. Oh, and got these - these are for you” he said, presenting you with the flowers. 

The bouquet was extravagant, but not distasteful. Roses, peonies, tulips - all in summery pastel shades. “How did you get these so fast? They’re beautiful, thank you so much!” you gushed, the sweet floral scent filling your heart with warmth. “Oh, I had them delivered to my room this afternoon - the concierge at my hotel is VERY good at his job” he chuckled, taking the flowers from you and placing them on the desk by his side. 

“I didn’t expect you to get here so fast, I need a shower and I was going to do all that before you arrived, and order us a bottle of something or..” you began, but again, Joe stole your words with a kiss. His hands, now free from his baggage, roamed over your body wrapped in its white fluffy robe. He undid the tied belt, taking both ends in his hand and using it to pull you gently towards him, as he backed into the en-suite bathroom. 

Without breaking the embrace, he pulled you inside, closed the door and pressed you against it, his tongue tentatively seeking permission to deepen the kiss. You let yourself melt into his offered warmth, as his hands pull the robe from your shoulders and let it fall to the floor, pooling at your feet. 

Joe let one hand rest on your hip, while the other traced its way up your arm, to rest in the nape of your neck, fingers reaching into the bottom of your hairline. “You still want a shower?” he asked, his lips barely inches from yours. You nodded, realising you really did need one. “I’m sorry I didn’t have time, I was on the phone with my parents and they just kept talking, and I feel hot and gross and..” you said, but you stopped yourself. 

At any other time, with any other person, you’d feel incredibly conscious, stood bare, face scrubbed red, hair hastily brushed and put into a loose ponytail, body still sticky with on-stage sweat - all beneath the unforgiving bright white bathroom light. Yet, there was something in the way Joe looked at you, his eyes soft and full of love, adoration, desire. Being looked at like that, made it impossible to feel anything but beautiful. 

“Fancy a little company?” he asked, reaching towards the shower to begin the flow of water, steam quickly filling the room. You nodded, words failing you as you watched with fondness as he put his hand beneath the stream to check the temperature, before placing two towels on the heated rack. Joe reached for your hand and helped you into the shower - it was a small step into a large, glass-surrounded shower - but the gesture felt nevertheless courteous. 

You stepped in and underneath the water, pulling the scrunchie from your hair, letting the warm water cascade over your aching muscles. You closed your eyes, tilting your face upwards to allow the warmth to cover your face, washing away the last of your make-up. You heard the shower door open, and felt Joe sidle in beside you. You opened your eyes to see him, now naked too, the hair on his chest sodden and flat against his skin. 

“You look so beautiful, I love you so much” he said, running his fingers through your hair, fingertips massaging your scalp. You giggled, and looked up at him through the mist of water spraying against your eyelashes. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that. I love you too. I do, I really do. I love you” you gushed, pressing your face into his chest, kissing his warm wet skin idly. 

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. Spin around” he said, taking the opportunity to grab a handful of your ass as you did so. Once in position, he reached for the bottle of shampoo on the shelf, squeezing a generous amount into his palm before running it through your roots. Again, the tips of his fingers massaging expertly, making your knees weak. He worked in a comfortable silence, helping you rinse the product out, before repeating the process with the conditioner. As the conditioner sat in your hair, you reached for him, spinning round to rub your hands over him. “Your turn” you purred, reaching for the shampoo, but he shook his head. “I’m not done with you yet, baby” he said, before sinking to his knees before you. 

As he did, he took the bottle of shower gel and began to lather his hands, moving to run them over each of your legs in turn, ridding them of the residual mud and sweat from the day. Reapplying the sweet, lavender-scented soap, his attention switched to your thighs, then stomach, then breasts - allowing himself a self-indulgent fondle which brought a grin to both of your faces. 

“Mmm, I could get used to this” you said, in a satisfied sigh. “Well baby, you can. I’m not going anywhere, ever again. You can get used to this all you want, and so much more besides” he said, his deft fingers running over your body once more as the water washed the final suds from your now clean skin. 

You wanted to return the sentiment, to promise yourself to him and tell him once again how you loved him, but the delicious sensation of his hands against you, partnered with the warm shower rendered you speechless. 

Still on his knees, Joe’s wide eyes looked up at you; unbothered by the spray of water getting in them. He held your gaze as he leaned towards you, and kissed your pubic mound. Spurred on by a soft whine emanating from you, he continued - hands gripping the backs of your thighs firmly as he let his tongue delve between your folds. 

As he held you tight, going to town on your needy warmth, your knees began to shake as the pleasure mounted shockingly fast. “Relax baby, come for me I got you, I got you baby” he said, pausing his ministrations for a moment to look up at you as he spoke, pupils blown wide with desire. “I.. I..” you tried to speak, but he stole your words as his tongue breached your hole, nose brushing confidently against your swollen and sensitive clit. 

Joe lapped at you, moaning with enjoyment as he tasted what he had so missed. “Baby, fuck!” you cried, as he doubled down on his efforts, suckling, licking - truly devouring you. You let your back lean against the cool tile of the shower, a stark contrast to the water (which was feeling hotter than before) running down your peaked and sensitive nipples. 

With your back now arched, your hips widened - opening yourself up to him even more. Taking advantage of you being propped up, Joe let one hand move from your thigh to your dripping and wanting hole, pressing one finger in, then two. With a growl, his tongue swirled round and round your clit until you came undone, calling his name as you felt yourself release over his face. If it weren’t for the running shower, you were sure you’d have soaked him. 

He worked you through your release, in the way he always did. Like no one had done before. As if he was conducting the final diminuendo of a symphony. Once he was satisfied you were finished, he took your hands to pull you away from the wall - letting you regain your balance before standing up himself. He pulled you into him, kissing you with an air of ownership, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. 

“You have no idea how much I missed that, how long I’ve waited to taste you again baby” he said, lips ghosting the shell of your ear. “Mmm, I think I might have a rough idea” you said, palming his painfully hard cock that poked into your belly. “There’s plenty of time for that, come on let’s get you out of here, and dry” he said, reaching for the tap. You stopped him, pressing your hand against his. 

“Not until you’re done, come here let me wash you” you said, eager for more intimacy - even if it was a little more PG than what your heart, mind and body wanted. Just as he had done before, you lathered shampoo into his hair, before rinsing and repeating with a conditioner. Finally, you let your hands trace every inch of his skin, fingers travelling from mole, to scar, to curve and back again until you’d rubbed, kissed and massaged every part of him. 

As you knelt down, you wanted to take him into your mouth - but the steam and hot water was beginning to become a little too much. This time, when Joe reached for the tap you let him shut the water off. He hopped out first, rapidly running a towel through his hair before wrapping it around his waist - hard cock still protruding through, making you smile and throb simultaneously. 

He then held his hand out towards you, helping you out of the shower and into a warm towel. He wrapped it around you and kissed the top of your head, smiling with a fondness that made you want to cry. You truly did love him more than you could have ever imagined. 

Moving back into the main part of the room, you sat down at the vanity unit to run a brush through your damp hair. Too impatient to let it dry fully, you put it up and out of your face, just in time for Joe to come behind you with your warm, comfortable robe. “You doing okay, baby?” he asked, wrapped in the other robe which had been hanging inside the closet. 

“Joe, I’ve barely regained the ability to speak, I am more than okay. Are you?” you asked him. “Oh, I couldn’t be better” he said, his hands massaging the bottom of your neck. “I’m pretty sure I could put that theory to the test” you replied, rising from your seat to face him, before walking him towards the bed. 

“Honey, you don’t have to if you’re tired or..” he began, but his words fell silent as you pressed him down onto the mattress. As he laid there, you got down to your knees and let your nails scratch gently up his thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “I want you so much..” you said, as you let your breath fan over his red, leaking tip. “... I want to feel you inside me, I want you to fuck me..” you continued, moving on to gentle kitten licks, the salty tang of his precum dancing over your tongue. 

“... but right now? Right now we’ve both had a big day, and I don’t know if I’ve got another round in me. But what I do know, is I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel..” you said, sinking your mouth down on him, causing him to release a guttural moan. He propped himself up on his forearms to look down at you. You met his gaze, and instantly melted seeing his lust-blown, awestruck expression. 

You carried on sucking his cock, taking whatever couldn’t fit into your mouth with your hand at the base. While never normally enjoying giving head all that much, there was something about Joe, something that made you want to, made you enjoy it even. The taste of him, the way he writhed beneath you, the way he watched you as if you were the most magical sight he’d ever seen. 

It would be easy to take it to the extreme, to try and emulate all the weird shit you see in porn, the gagging, the eyes rolling back, the spittle - but you knew that wasn’t Joe. You wanted him to feel good, not put on a performance. Instead, you concentrated on the synchronicity between your mouth and tongue, and your fist. You pumped his shaft in time with a swirl of your tongue around his head over and over again, noticing his fists balling the sheets beside you. 

“Honey, I.. I’m close” he stammered, and you hummed in acknowledgement, letting him know it was okay to let go, without stopping your movements. Before long, he was coating your throat with hot ropes of his release, which you sucked down with a fervor. As soon as your mouth left him with a subtle ‘pop’, he pulled you up and into his arms, lying your head against his chest as it rose and fell with exertion. 

“I love you so fucking much sweetheart, god damn” he said, breath still coming fast and heavy. “And you’re not just saying that because of what I just did?” you asked, with a light tone of jest. “Baby, I have loved you for the longest time. I never stopped, even while we… even while we weren’t together. I want to do this, I really do” he said, the sudden sobriety in his words making you sit upright to look into his eyes. 

“I love you too, and I want you to know - I want to do this too. All the doubts, the worries about whether I can… they aren’t there now. I don’t care how, I don’t care if we have to travel and be long-distance for periods, I just know I’m in this for the long haul, okay?” you said, and he responded with a kiss. 

The two of you laid side by side, bodies pressed close together, drinking in the comfortable, contented silence. Finally, you both shuffled towards the bathroom, falling straight into a domestic scene - brushing your teeth side-by-side, Joe filling two fresh glasses of water, you finding and plugging in phone chargers. 

Once settled into bed, wrapped in his arms once more, your naked bodies intertwined, your eyes shut and the adrenaline of the day finally began to wear off. Just as sleep took you, Joe’s voice broke through the silence. 

“You should come on stage and do a song with me, for my set tomorrow”.  

Chapter Text

29th June 2025, Glastonbury, Somerset

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this, you should be out there on your own, enjoying your first Glastonbury set! I shouldn’t be up there sharing the limelight” you said, suddenly feeling as if you were taking something from him. 

“Honey, I want you there. It’s only one song, and people will go crazy seeing you!” he said, taking your hand in his, resting it on his knee as the two of you shared a car back to the festival site. You’d expected the morning to be spent predominantly in bed, or at least doing something more than what you did, which was spend a couple of hours, a guitar on each of your laps, rehearsing ‘Potion’ to be performed together mid-way through his set. 

Despite it not being the morning you envisaged, sitting side-by-side in your underwear with the man you loved, playing music, singing in literal perfect harmony, felt even more intimate. You’d laid together that night, sleepily discussing song choices, some serious, some a little whacky. Joe had wanted to perform one of your songs together, but you’d vetoed it immediately. You’d had your time, now it was all about him. 

You suppose that’s why you were feeling so unsure now, about sharing the stage for this big moment of his. It wasn’t that you were nervous to perform, especially not now Joe had tirelessly helped you learn the difficult picking pattern of the song. Were you overstepping, should you have asked him to join your set before? 

“What’s going on in there, sweetheart?” he asked, clearly seeing the mental gymnastics going on behind your eyes. You looked at him with an apologetic smile, unsure of how long you’d been sitting silently beside him. “Honestly? I think my brain’s trying to sabotage me. You’ve told me you want me there, and that should be enough, but I can’t help feeling like I’m sharing this moment that should be yours, and yours alone. Well, yours and the rest of the guys. The guys! Shit, will they mind? Am I taking someone’s role for the song? Shit..” you said, mind on the verge of catastrophising once again. 

“Alright, I’m gonna stop you there. First, the guys won’t care, they’ll love having you on stage! Secondly, you’re talking like it’s me doing you a favour having you on stage. You forget how big you are, do you know that? Even since I’ve known you, you’ve been on the up and up and it is quite literally my honour to share both my life and my stage with you” he said, blushing a little. 

“You want to share your life with me?” you asked him. “Well, yeah of course I do. And yeah I know that sounded a little proposal-y, and it’s not that I don’t want to some day, my god I can’t wait to marry you, but before then..” it was your turn to interrupt him this time. 

“Well, I appreciate your un-proposal all the same. And just so we’re on the same page - me too” you said, looking up at him with a shy smile. Joe looked at you with a hint of surprise. “Has Charlie shown you some scripts?” he asked. “What? What scripts?” you ask. “Shit, look I can’t say much but you’ve almost quoted a line from the new series of Stranger Things” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Wait, really?! Which one? What did I say?” you asked him, brain trying to back-track over the last thing you’d said to him. “Nuh-uh, you’re gonna have to wait just like everyone else until the end of the year” he said, laughing as you slapped him lightly on the arm. 

****************************

The rest of the band that compromised ‘Djo’ were nothing short of delightful. All of them, more than happy to have you step on to play a song, and even happier to cram into a small tent somewhere in the artist’s area to try and practice with all of you. You noticed their lack of surprise at your arrival together, or the fact that Joe held you close to his side at all times. You assumed they’d been a listening ear to Joe, as much as Dan, Amy and Frank of your band had been for you. 

Even as press engagements began for Joe, he made no secret of you being there as part of his crew, uncaring who saw him kiss you quickly, or hold your hand. You thought it’d feel weird, perhaps a little alien as your relationship had been so private. Or non-existent, but you preferred not to think about that. But it was so… simple. Easy even. Being there with Joe, you knew it was exactly where you should be. 

The day had been a whirlwind, so by the time you were all positioned in the artists area of the Woodsies stage at 1:30, you were ready for a rest and a drink, and a little quiet time before watching Joe take to the stage at 3:30. As you slumped down onto a plush leather couch backstage, you looked on fondly as Joe talked to a journalist from The Guardian. You rested your head back against the cushions and let your eyes close for just a moment. 

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” came Joe’s voice. “Mm?” you said, realising you were perhaps on the cusp of dropping off, despite the lively atmosphere. “Yeah, yeah I’m okay! Are you? How are you feeling, are you ready?” you asked him. “Yeah, I’m good, excited. Are you? You wanna go over it again? I spoke to the stage manager, said there’s a little room back there we can use to just go over the guitar parts once more” he said. 

“Actually, yeah. You wrote a hard melody, Mr Keery! Let’s go” you said, grabbing your guitar case, which had been couriered over last minute. Joe led you through the deceptively large backstage area of the tent-like venue. The room itself was clearly an all-purpose space, containing cases of equipment, spare leads, a broom and an unused coat rack. 

“Oh, wait we need to go get your guitar too..” you said, placing yours down to head back out and find his, so you could practice properly. But Joe stood in front of the door, closing it firmly with a wry look on his face. “I promise we can practice a little later if you want, but I just.. I just wanted you to myself for a little while” he said, wasting no time in crossing the couple of feet between you, pulling you into his arms. 

“Oh yeah? Pretty smooth I gotta say. You doing okay?” you asked, as your hands rested on his chest. “I feel like I’m on top of the world, and I have all this excited, nervous energy, plus I had a double-shot espresso this morning in the hotel, so I kinda need to spend some energy” he whispered, his voice low. 

Your breath was taken away, you felt so wrapped up in his body, your desire for each other radiating powerfully, giving the room an electric feel. “You want to go for a run or something?” you asked him playfully, knowing exactly what he had in mind. He didn’t even dignify your question with a verbal response, instead burying his face in the crook of your neck, kissing and biting and sucking lightly, careful not to leave a mark, but hard enough that you had to bite your lip to stifle a moan. 

His strong arms maneuvered you backwards, until your back hit a large flight case, sturdy enough that he could press you against it. He nudged your thighs open with his knee to press into you further. You were totally enveloped in Joe, and it was the greatest feeling in the world. “Are you sure this is private enough?” you asked him. 

“Maybe, maybe not. We can stop if you want to..” he said, but the grip you had on his shoulders told him all he needed to know. He kissed you, as his hands wandered your body, taking their time to feel every curve, gripping your breasts, massaging them gently. When your kiss finally broke, he hovered over you, a little chuckle interspersed between his panting breaths. 

“I fucking love you” he said, letting his hands hold you by the hips firmly. “You make me feel so fucking.. alive!” he said, grinding against you, letting you feel the bulge in his trousers, straining against the material, longing for your heat. You thank earlier you, for dressing in a short dress this morning, allowing yourself to feel as much as you could, just a thin layer of satin underwear, now brushing temptingly against your engorged clit. 

“Are you wearing these trousers on stage later?” you asked him, through laboured breaths. “Uh, maybe why?” he asked. “‘Cause I might be making a bit of a mess on them right now. Might need to move them outta the way” you purred, reaching down to undo the fastenings on his black slacks. They fell to his feet, leaving his lean, yet muscular legs exposed in nothing but his designer boxers. Feeling him even closer to you, just both of your underwear separating you made your core clench. 

“You’re incredible, you know that?” he groaned, letting himself rut against you, feeling the slick seeping through your underwear against his cock. “You might’ve told me once or twice. Still got that pent up energy, big boy?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady and seductive, despite the fluttering in your stomach, love and lust creating a storm of need inside you. 

“Oh god, so much baby” he groaned, eyes rolling in the back of his head as your fingernails scratched deliciously across his scalp. “Then take it out on me, take what you need” you said, moving his head to make him look you in the eyes, to let him know you were truly serious. To convey just how much you needed this too. To feel him inside you again. 

With a handsome, devilish grin, he took both of your hands in one of his, and pinned them above your head, while the other deftly pulled your underwear down to your ankles. You stepped out of them carefully, and gasped as his free hand felt between your legs, his fingers parting your labia to explore your wet warmth. 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re ready for me, huh?” he said, a statement more than a question. Still, you nodded your head in affirmation, completely under his spell. He kissed you long and slow, still pinning you in place by your hands, while he spread your slick around your cunt, giving tantalising flicks over your clit that made you whimper into his kiss. 

Joe let his lips move from yours, back to your neck, then to your clavicle and sternum, tasting your skin. “I want you so bad baby” he said, “need you”. “Take me, take what you need” you repeated, gasping as he, in one swift movement, let your hands drop, pulled his own underwear down and lifted you by the back of the knees, pressing you even harder into the case you stood before. As you were lifted, he pressed himself into you, your slick and needy hole putting up no resistance as he sheathed himself in you completely. 

You held on to him, hands on his shoulders as he paused, giving you a second to adjust to his size. A moment passed, just the two of you joined in the most intimate way, breathing heavily and holding each other’s stare. It was romantic, sweet, tender. But tenderness was not what either of you needed. After a few tentative thrusts, you gripped his shoulders harder, to encourage him to fuck you in the way you knew he needed. 

You gave a nod, and ground your hips to match his thrusts, pressing him inside you, so deep it made your head spin. He started to find his rhythm then, hammering into you, his strong hands supporting you as he fucked you, hot, hard and filthy. 

“I missed you, oh fuck I missed you, I love you” you babbled, before pressing your teeth into the soft flesh of his lower neck, before a gutteral moan could erupt and rumble your naughtly back-room fumble. As you did, Joe’s pace quickened. He kissed you sloppily, both of you uncaring as your tongues lapped at each other, nails digging into flesh. 

“N.. not gonna last honey” he said, his brow prickled with perspiration. “You can let go, you can cum for me, fill me. Make me go on stage knowing what you did, knowing I’m full of you” you groaned, the idea turning you on as much as him. “Can you touch yourself for me baby?” he asked. 

You didn’t need any more encouragement, your hand snaking between your bodies to rub needily at your clit. It was barely any time at all before you felt your climax build. You clenched around him and arched your back, as the fingertips of bliss pulled you into your orgasm, a pained whimper emitting from your throat as you tried desperately to be quiet, through the intense pulsations that sent sparks flying from your head to your toes. 

As you shook, Joe came inside you with a low grunt, his cock twitching as his hips stuttered to a stop. Joe held you, still deep inside you as you breathed in sync, your bodies gradually coming down from their breathtaking highs. His soft lips met yours in a series of sweet, breathy kisses - making out like a couple of teenagers. “I love you” he said finally, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you too Keery, more than you know” you said, feeling as if your heart could burst at any moment. Joe slipped out with a hiss, quickly but gently putting you down on the floor, before kneeling to help you on with your underwear, the fabric catching his release as it began to drip from you. 

“Are you okay? Was that..? Okay?” he asked, as he too righted his underwear and trousers. “Joe, have I ever been left unsatisfied by you?” you smiled, pressing your legs together as the wetness began to get uncomfortable. “No, no I mean… this. I know it was kinda risky, we could’ve been caught. I mean fuck, I was so into it maybe someone did come in, I wouldn’t have noticed” he chuckled. 

“Yeah, I know. If I didn’t want to I’d have told you, but it was kinda exciting, right? Plus, I wasn’t exactly finished with you after last night but we got a little distracted this morning. I do need to go clean myself up though, so can you take my guitar?” you asked him. Ever the gentleman, he took your guitar with one hand, and your hand in his other, leading you behind him, protecting your privacy as you somewhat waddled towards the bathroom. 

He left you with a kiss before you stepped into the bathroom, knees still trembling. After cleaning yourself up as best you could, you washed your hands and looked at your flushed face in the mirror. You were sweating, your hair was a mess and your bottom lip was bitten and sore from keeping quiet. 

But one thing struck you as you looked at your reflection. It was your smile. Despite being alone now, your face still proudly wore a smile. The worry lines that’d make themselves at home on your forehead were nothing more but faint creases, and your eyes seemed to have an alertness, an energy you hadn’t seen in yourself since your early twenties. You realised, with a slight heartbreak, that you hadn’t seen yourself this truly happy for longer than you could remember. 

In that moment, you vowed to try and see that face more and more. 

Back in the main area, you found Joe on the couch you’d previously occupied, draining a pint of ice water, with another in his hand that he passed to you. You accepted it gratefully and quenched the thirst you hadn’t realised was there until that moment. Placing the glass down, you curled up into his side, beyond caring who might see the two of you so cosy, cuddled up together. It put a smile on your face, knowing the two of you sat there in your post-orgasm glow, while those around you had no idea. At least, you hoped they didn’t. 

You both chatted idly, as the band on stage played, listening passively. “I should get up and change soon, get my make-up touched up. You feeling ready?” you asked Joe. “Yeah, yeah I am. Even more so now” he whispered into your ear. “Do you have everything you need? Do you have a, uh, a spare change of underwear?” he continued, keeping his voice quiet. “I do, but that won’t stop a little still leaking out. So just remember that when I come stand beside you as we play” you whisper back. 

“Jesus fucking christ, you’re gonna be the death of me. You’re gonna make it hard to look at you and keep myself in check, I’m gonna have to wear by guitar low to cover myself just in case, I’ll look like a member of fucking, Blink 182” he laughed.

*****************************

The dry ice had filled the wings as well as the stage, as the band began playing their opening number. Joe looked on for a moment, as his bandmates began, before turning to kiss you quickly, and joining them. 

It was hot, and the tent stage was jam-packed, with people even flowing outside, happy just to listen. Joe could’ve played a stage twice as big. With any luck, he will this time next year. Seeing him perform at his own sold-out show back in London had been incredible, but this felt even more special. You could almost feel the excitement and energy radiating off Joe and the guys from where you stood, pressing a cold bottle of water to your neck. 

Yet again, Joe’s eyes would drift to you during ‘Gap Tooth Smile’, filling your chest with a warm affection you simply couldn’t get enough of. One song later, and he was introducing you. You looped your guitar around your shoulder, and switched on your in-ear monitors as he spoke. 

“Alright, now I’m gonna get a little help with this next one, she absolutely fucking nailed her set last night, she’s a very dear person to me..” he said, his arm outstretched as he said your name and you walked on stage. To your relief, the reception was good, great even. Phones were brought out, pictures and videos capturing you together, properly for the first time. 

Joe counted you in, his eyes full of warmth and love as you both began to play the song - with Joe taking the first verse, you taking the second, and the both of you harmonising beautifully during the chorus’. 

After the song, as the crowd cheered and screamed, Joe kissed you softly on the cheek before letting you leave the stage. Chaste, but just what it needed to be. Something that might look pretty innocent by the passing eye, but told you just how much your presence meant to him. 

As he closed his set with Back on You, the atmosphere was buzzing on the Woodsies Stage. As he left the stage, he made a beeline directly for you, swept you up in his arms, dipped you low and kissed you. It was hot, sweaty but completely perfect. As if it was just the two of you. Though the tell-tale flash of a camera lens begged to differ. 

****************************

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think about it and I know I should have been more careful and..” Joe panicked, pacing back and forth backstage. “Joe, will you stop! It’s fine!” you said, reaching to pull him towards you, stopping his back and forth. “It’s not, I just put you in that situation, and we haven’t even discussed wanting to go public and..”

“Let’s do it. I mean, why not? I told you, I’m in this. People are gonna find out soon enough, and we’ve wasted so much time already. I mean I think we need to tell Charlie, and our parents and everyone first before they see it second hand, but.. I mean if that’s what you want?” you asked him. Joe paused, still out of breath and covered in a sheen of sweat from his set. He seemed to ponder your words for a moment. 

“Say something?” you prompted, his silence letting doubt creep in. “Yes, yeah. Yeah!” he said, a broad grin creeping across his face. Again, he pulled you into his arms and kissed you, his hands holding firm around your waist.

*********************

As predicted, the picture of your post-set kiss spread across the media, alongside ones of you wearing a Djo t-shirt on stage, and snaps of Joe sporting your band’s shirt in the wings. While you’d managed to tell those closest to you before they heard it second-hand, you’d both still received a barrage of messages wanting to fact check what they’d just read. 

Over the weeks that followed, you both navigated this new world of how your relationship would work. Touring and filming still separated you, but nowhere near as much as you first feared. When you could be, you were together. Either staying with Joe as he filmed in California, in hotel rooms on your tour or even back at Joe’s family home. 

Meeting the rest of the Keery family was a joy. His sisters immediately took you in as their own, and his parents made you feel completely at home. Your heart melted as he showed you off proudly to the rest of his family, and childhood friends during their annual summer BBQ, never before realising how nice it felt to be loved so openly and unapologetically. 

When you were together, Joe was almost always touching you. It never felt suffocating though. If anything, the feel of his hand in yours, or his chest against your cheek became deliciously addictive. The best part about everything though, was how you’d both managed to pick up where you left off. 

Though you were both different now, both of you having grown and matured in your attitudes towards what love could mean, you hadn’t felt the need to start over again. You didn’t need to spend time figuring each other out, or breaking through those first barriers. It was almost as if you’d never really broken up, simply kept apart. 

****************************

2nd November 2025, London

“Oh come on, you never learned much American history at school, right? It’s exactly the same thing, we never did a module on weird parts of British history” said Joe, as you and Charlie tried to explain exactly who Guy Fawkes was, and why you celebrated him almost blowing up the houses of parliament each year, with bonfires, fireworks and toffees. 

“I know, I know. I just can’t believe we’ve never really talked about it before! So, what do you think about your first bonfire night?” you asked him, as you cosied into his side before the roaring fire. “I love it! I mean I’m not too crazy about Charlie being allowed to let off explosives but this is nice, kinda feels like a cold 4th July” said Joe, his smooth voice sounding almost in harmony with the crackling of fresh wood. 

With that, a screech of a firework cracked through the air, the green and blue sparks glittering in his deep eyes. Fireworks weren’t exactly your favourite thing, but after years of touring, the bangs didn’t startle you nearly as much. Bonfire night itself was still a few days away, but as was tradition, your family gathered for a celebration on the nearest weekend. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the year?” asked Natalia, who was wisely leaving Charlie and your uncle to handle the firework display. 

“I’m a free agent actually. We were due to be back in the studio for a while, but Amy lost her Dad last month, so we’ve paused everything until she feels like she can carry on” you replied, feeling a pang of sadness once more for your friend, who lost the most important person in her life. 

“I’m sorry, that’s really shitty. What are you gonna do instead?” she asked, touching your arm softly with her gloved hand. “I’m coming over to the states actually. I need a change of scenery, and Mr Keery here still has a list as long as his arm of things he’s promised he’d show me. Plus I’ll get to come to the season premiere”. 

“That’s great! How long are you going to stay?” she asked. “I don’t know, I guess as long as he’ll have me, right?” you say, looking up at Joe who was already looking at you, an unreadable but warm expression on his face. “Honey, you can stay with me as long as you like. Hell, move in and stay there while I do the press for Cold Storage if you want” he said. Though his tone seemed somewhat flippant, the way he averted his gaze revealed more truth behind the statement. 

“Oh my god, did you just ask her to move in with you?! Do you want me to leave or something?” said Natalia, rising from her garden chair. “No! No sit down, no I didn’t.. I mean, obviously that’s what I want but we haven’t… look I know we haven’t discussed it so don’t feel like you gotta give me an answer, but of course I want to live with you. But it doesn’t have to be over there! Fuck, I’m sorry, this is putting you on the spot..” he rambled.

“Okay” you responded, simply. Natalia squealed while Joe’s jaw swung open. “Y…you.. Really?” he asked eventually, as another firework brought him back into the present moment. “Yeah. I mean, I guess I’d keep my house too, so we can flit back and forth but, yeah. I can’t keep thinking about other people, and my career and ‘what-ifs’. It’s what I want. I want to live with you, and I don’t really care where. So, if I move in with you over in LA, will you move in with me in London?” you asked him. 

Joe’s grin spread so wide it was a wonder his face didn’t ache. As his features lit up, so did yours. “Okay well this is definitely a moment you two need to have so I’m going to get us all another drink, and I guess we can celebrate?” said Natalia, skipping inside the house. 

“You didn’t just say yes so I could save face did you?” he asked, when she was out of earshot. “What? No, you idiot! We’ve spent pretty much all of our downtime together anyway, at one house or another. Why not make it official?” you said, leaning into his warm hand as he pressed it against your face to press a kiss against your cold lips. “God fucking damn it, I love you” he said, his forehead pressed against yours. “I love you too baby” you responded, as a handful of crisp beer bottles appeared before you. 

“I’m back! I couldn’t remember what you were drinking, was it beer?” she said, offering you the bottle. “Actually, no I’m driving so I’m on the hot chocolate. Don’t worry, I need the bathroom anyway so I’ll go” you said, smiling appreciatively as you went to swap the beer for something warmer. 

***********************

Joe watched you go inside, before turning back to face Natalia. “Hey, are you still flying to LA tomorrow?” he asked. “Yeah, we’re taking the red-eye and staying there for a week.” said Natalia. “I need a favour, do you still have a key to my place?” he asked. “Uh, Charlie does somewhere I think. Why?”. 

“We’re heading back on the 5th and I don’t think I’m gonna get a chance to be there without her and… look I need you to slip in, to go into the bottom drawer on the right hand side of my bed, and take the ring box and hide it at yours” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as his eyes darted back and forth to ensure no one had heard. 

“The WHAT?!” she almost shrieked, before clasping her hands over her mouth to stifle any more outbursts. “Nat, seriously! Shh! Yes, it’s what you think it is but you need to promise me you won’t say anything. I just need it somewhere safe”.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul. Yes, I can go. I’ll pick it up and keep it safe, but you have GOT to tell me more! Are you gonna propose?” she hissed, almost buzzing with excitement. “No! I mean, yes, some day but..” he sighed, realising telling her the whole truth would prevent many more questions. 

“I bought it like two days after I left London that first time, a year ago now. I didn’t go out looking for it or anything, I just took a walk after grabbing my stuff to head to Atlanta. I went downtown, mainly looking for clothes for myself but I walked past this jewellers store, and of course I looked ‘cause I mean who doesn’t, when they walk past windows full of diamonds, right?” he began. 

After another glance around to make sure you weren’t coming back yet, he continued. “Anyway, I started off looking at the watches but as I walked along the window, I got to these engagement rings and there was this one.. I swear you’re gonna laugh, I mean I would because it’s literally the most cheesy thing I’ve ever done, but..”

“Spit it out, she’ll be out soon!” urged Natalia. “This gorgeous ring was set in a box the exact colour of her eyes. I know that’s weird and like something from a Hallmark movie, but I’d had this moment during our last night together before I left, where I was sat across from her, eating, and I just thought to myself ‘I want to remember her eye colour’. Because it’s an easy thing to forget, right? I mean sure, I’d remember the broad colour, like blue, green, brown - but specifically I wanted to remember the exact shade. I don’t know why, it’s not like I’ve ever done that before with a girl.”

“Anyway, I stood and stared at it for a while, just really fuckin’ missing her. Then just as I was about to move on ‘cause they were depressing me a little, I noticed the price card. Or more specifically, the name of it. It was one of those where each item had a name, you know? And Nat, I kid you not, it was her name. Spelled the exact same way and everything. And I just bought it. I mean, I didn’t go in and buy it, but I took my phone out, looked it up and ordered it to arrive at the Atlanta house…”

Joe was almost reluctant to look Natalia in the eyes again, because he knew how ridiculous it all sounded. Hell, if it was him he’d have scoffed at the whole thing already. Buying an engagement ring for a woman he’d only known for a couple of weeks? It wouldn’t be unreasonable to think it was a joke. When he did eventually meet her eye however, he saw nothing but affection and happiness. 

“Okay, I really want to reach out and hug you right now but that would bring too much attention and I know that’s the last thing you need right now. But Joe, I am so happy for you! I can’t believe you kept it all this time! Even when you were both… you know” she said. “I know. When we broke up, I didn’t exactly forget about it, but I just shut it in the drawer and never touched it again. Until last month anyway” he said.

“What happened last month?” she asked. “You know she mentioned her friend’s Dad died? It was pretty bad. You met Amy, right? Nat, you wouldn’t recognise her. I mean of course I’ve lost people but damn, for some reason that one made me think more than ever about how god damn short life is. So I uh, I picked it up and just stared at it while she was asleep next to me one night. Almost did it right there and then, just wake her and propose, see what happened”

“Anyway, of course I didn’t. It’s not how I wanna do it. I don’t exactly know how or when, but I just know I don’t want to hide anything from her, so I need it gone until I know I’m gonna do it” he finished, just as he heard your voice coming from behind. “You got it” Natalia said quickly, giving him a sly wink as you sat back down. 

“Sorry, I put the kettle on and suddenly everyone wanted a hot drink. You guys alright?” you ask. Natalia nodded, while Joe placed his arm back in its position, around your waist. “Perfect, just perfect baby” he said, as more fireworks filled the sky.