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The Drakes are home for a whole two weeks, uninterrupted. Tim is over the moon. Mother and Father have not been home for more than three days in one go since Tim was old enough to start preschool. They keep telling him that he’s doing such a good job being the adult of the house. That he’s really acting mature for his age. Tim can’t remember hearing this much praise from his parents ever in his eight years.
Tim had scrubbed the whole house, from ceiling to floorboards, in preparation for their arrival. His parents had blown in, tracking mud in on their boots through the foyer. They haven’t mentioned Tim’s cleaning. Or his good grades. But Tim doesn’t mind. His parents are so pleased with his performance taking care of himself while they were gone that they even want to play a game with Tim.
“Wouldn’t you like to play a game, Tim?” His mother asks, tone sickly sweet. Tim wants to jump up and down in excitement but knows his parents will find it unbecoming so instead he replies, “Yes please, Mother. That would be lovely.”
His father claps a hand on his shoulder, just a bit too strongly.
“That’s our son! It’s a spy game that we play with our friends.” Father booms, cheery in a way Tim has never seen before. He knows in his heart that it isn't quite real.
“You’ll come with us to meetings with our business friends.” Mother says, kneeling down to Tim’s level. “And you’ll sneak away and see what information you can gather without getting caught.” Father nods solemnly. “If you get caught, we lose. Your mother and I think you’d be a good asset to our team. Think you’re up for it slugger?”
Tim nods resolutely. “Yes, Father. I won’t let you down!”
Tim plays this game a few times. He hasn’t gotten caught yet. His parents are happy, although drinking a lot more often than before. They must be winning. Tim must be helping. After about three missions, Mother and Father give Tim a dossier on Lexcorp.
“You’ll have to do some prep work for this mission, Timothy. Luthor has very good security.” Mother says. “They’ll be looking for me like hide and seek?” Tim asks. Other missions had involved security, but these ones have guns. Guns don’t seem like part of the game. The surveillance photo of the heavily armed guard sends a shiver down Tim's spine.
“Get everything you can remotely. Then, when we visit, you get more. Isn’t that fun? Like a super special challenge!” Father says, before downing his whiskey in a single swallow. Tim gulps, still staring at the weapons that cover nearly every inch of the Lexcorp security team.
“Okay.” Tim says in a small voice. “I won’t let you down.”
Tim uses his favorite computer, a trusty little laptop that he built himself, to hack into Lexcorp’s servers. He identifies the section with the most stringent protections as his target. If he already has the big stuff, then Tim can spend less time getting the lesser stuff while avoiding the armed guards. It takes a few hours but Tim gets through. The subsidiary of Lexcorp, named CADMUS, includes a lot of stuff on cross-species hybridization, epigenetics, and a mysterious donor referred to as donor x. Tim’s not really sure what all that means so he tries to ask his parents.
“Mother, what’s cross-species fertilization?” He asks at dinner that night. His mother waves him off as she sips her wine. “That’s nice dear.” So Tim spends the night teaching himself genetics. Eventually, by the time the sun rises the next morning, Tim realizes something massive. CADMUS is making clones and hybrids of Superman. And Lex Luthor is using his own DNA as donor x. Tim knows that Mr. Luthor can be very full of himself, his parents have said so, but he didn’t realize that would extend to trying to make a superbaby with his own DNA. Tim decides that he does not care for Mr. Luthor. He might not even feel bad about the spy game like Tim has about the other companies Tim played the game with.
CADMUS records indicate fourteen specimens had made it past the embryonic stage. Most had been terminated. Which Tim hopes means something other than what he thinks it means. But one specimen has survived and is still present in a pod below the Lexcorp building in Metropolis. Tim decides that he is gonna save this kid. No one deserves Mr. Luthor as a dad. That would be terrible! So Tim hacks the communication lines into the laboratory. It takes some figuring out, but Tim thinks he’s finally found the line into the pod.
“Hi, my name is Tim.” Tim starts, trying his best to be polite. The boy in the pod shouts in alarm. “How are you talking to me? What’s going on?” The boy asks. “I hacked the computers and lines and stuff. I wanted to introduce myself before I come to rescue you.” Tim replies, calmly. He’s super excited but the pod boy is clearly scared so Tim’s gotta hold his excited inside like Ms. Mac taught him to.
“Rescue me? You can get me out of here? Seriously?” The boy asks, tone hopeful.
“I promise. I’m coming for you. You’ll never halfta see Mr. Luthor again.” Tim swears. Tim hears some soft sounds coming from the other end of the line, and he realizes that the boy is crying.
“You wanna hear about something good?” Tim asks. He doesn’t like that he made his new friend cry. Tim hears a mumble and takes it as a yes.
“Okay. So, I just realized something the other night. My parents, they’re gone a lot so you can live with me if you wanna, well they have me looking into all their competitors as part of a game they play. And I think my neighbor is Batman!” Tim rambles.
“Who’s Batman?” Says the boy. Tim gasps. “He’s like the best superhero ever! He protects Gotham and is really scary to bad guys but also really nice to kids. He has Robin. Who is really the best superhero ever but I say Batman is because adults don’t like it when kids do stuff better than them.” Tim hears a thoughtful murmur from the other end of the line.
“Are you Robin?” The boy asks. Tim blushes, hard. “No! That’s silly. I’m just Tim. Robin is like way cooler.” Tim decides to change the subject. Because his new friend is making him feel funny in his tummy, like the butterflies are doing loop-de-loops.
“Anyway, I need you to keep an eye out when the guards and other adults are there. So we can find a pattern. That way I know when during the day is best to come get you.” Tim says, trying his best not to think about the scary gun guys.
“I know the patterns already. When are you coming to get me? Soon?” He asks. “My parents are bringing me to a business meeting tomorrow. But don’t worry I’ll keep talking with you the whole time. I might fall asleep though.” Tim reassures. The boy in the pod reports the schedules of the guards and scientists and Tim makes sure to take diligent notes. Together, Tim and his new friend plot the best time to get him out.
Tim and his new friend also talk about everything and anything. Tim tells his friend about Batman, Robin, Superman, Gotham and Metropolis. The boy already knows a lot of school stuff but has never been. Tim tells him what its like to go to class, to go to recess, and the all important trade of snacks during lunch. Apparently, the boy had all his education like uploaded to his brain. Which Tim finds absolutely fascinating, but the boy can’t answer most of his questions. That’s okay, Tim will figure it out later. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, even if he needs to stop and explain a lot of stuff. This boy is the best friend that Tim has ever had.
“Hey, can I call you my best friend?” Tim asks as he’s getting dressed for their meeting with Lexcorp. Tim had switched to an ear comm to talk to his new friend. “Okay! I think you’re my best friend too.” The boy replies. Tim really should come up with a name for him. Even if he picks a new one later. He can’t call his best friend ‘the boy’ even in his own head. “We should come up with a name for you. Any names you like?” Tim suggests. The boy hums thoughtfully.
“The nicest scientist I can remember was named Conner. Maybe that for now?” Conner says. “Conner it is!” Tim declares. Tim taps his comm twice to let Conner know that he won’t be able to respond directly. He’s got to go get in the car with his parents, who definitely don’t know about Conner. Tim has only given them some of the stuff he found about Lexcorp. Nothing about CADMUS or Conner.
They arrive at Lexcorp after a very silent and tense commute. Before Tim can exit the car and put his plan into action, his parents stop him.
“Now Tim, this is very important. Remember our game.” His mother says. His father nods. “We leave today and it is imperative that we have dirt on Luthor.” Tim nods. Dirt doesn’t sound like the game. The game is to not get caught. Has Tim been doing something really bad this whole time? His stomach pools with dread. Tim looks to his parents who are busy perfecting their faces and clothes before heading inside, not bothering to check if Tim is accompanying them. Something is wrong here. Tim feels it in his gut. Ms. Mac always says that if your gut tells you something, you should listen. Tim’s parents might be bad. Bad like Luthor bad. Tim doesn’t like that they may have made him do bad stuff too. That’s not fair. Tim decides to comply with his parents wishes, kinda. Technically, only stealing Conner is corporate espionage, just not the kind his parents can use against Lexcorp. Tim gives the doorman a big smile and a thank you as he follows his parents inside, plotting.
Tim sneaks off into one of the bathrooms along the halls as his parents are lead to a big boardroom for their meeting. Tim waits in the bathroom, making sure no one is following him. Conner’s voice cuts through on the comm. “Tim? Is that you? I think I can hear your heartbeat.” Tim’s heart flutters and before he can respond Conner cuts him off. “Are you okay? Your heart is beating funny.” Tim taps his comm twice. He could probably respond without any adults overhearing him but Tim doesn’t trust his voice at the moment. He takes a steadying breath. “Good kind of funny Conner” Tim whispers under his breath. Tim can hear his friend’s sigh of relief.
Tim slowly opens the door to the bathroom and checks the hallway. All clear. He quickly runs down the hall silently, to the maintenance staircase. There he opens an electrical panel and brings one of the special elevators to the floor Tim is on. Tim walks over to the elevator and levers open the panel, messing with the wires until it lets him go down to the secret basement levels. Tim steps off the elevator and quickly skirts the corner to avoid one of the patrolling guards. Thankfully, Tim had found the right wire to stop the elevator from dinging to sound its arrival. Doubly thankfully, the doors to the elevator had closed before the guard passed, hiding the evidence of Tim’s hotwiring.
Tim scoots against the wall to a vent grate and carefully unscrews it. He slips inside the vent and uses a bit of bent wire hanger from home to screw the grate back in place behind himself. Tim had hidden it in the sole of his dress shoe, like a real spy.
The vents are dusty and need to be cleaned. Which is gross. But Tim army crawls through them dutifully. He has to get to Conner.
Eventually, Tim makes it to the vent grate above the laboratory. Tim taps his comm three times, asking if the room is all clear. Conner gives Tim a yes. It sounds funny. Like he’s been drugged. Tim’s body floods in anger. Somebody hurt his best friend. They’re gonna pay.
Tim uses the wire hanger tool to unscrew the grate, catching it before it can clatter to the floor. Tim deftly drops from the vent, grate in hand, landing silently next to Conner’s pod. Tim checks the logs on the pod’s computer quickly. They’re preparing Conner for termination. Tim’s stomach drops. They were gonna kill his best friend. Tim stops the drugs flowing through the pod, pushing saline and an antidote through to flush out the euthanasia drug. It takes several minutes before Conner seems more like himself again. In the meantime, Tim is going through all of CADMUS’s records and destroying as much as he can. Anything he can’t take for himself, anyway. Force of habit, probably.
Conner steps out the pod and wraps Tim into a tight hug. It feels nice. Tim doesn’t get hugged all that often. He can’t remember the last time his parents hugged him. Conner makes him feel safe when he hugs Tim. So Tim hugs him back. And they just stand there for like two whole minutes. In fact, they hug until one of the scary guards tries opening the locked door to the lab, shouting down the hallway. Uh oh.
Conner steps between Tim and the door. He’s a little taller than Tim. And a little wider too. He’s wearing a skintight sterile gray jumpsuit with a faded number stitched in red on the chest. The sight of him makes Tim angry again. Or really, the sight of how he’s been treated. These scientists treated Conner like… well like a thing instead of like a person. And it makes Tim’s blood boil.
The same moment the door opens, the guards finally finding someone with an ID to swipe to unlock it, Conner swings Tim up into his arms, bridal style, and flies at superspeed right at the adults. They fall to the ground like bowling pins, toppling over. The world blurs again and they’re down the hallway, just about a dozen feet away from the elevator. There are about ten heavily armed guards between the boys and their freedom. Conner sets Tim down carefully, and positions himself in front of Tim. Conner is so brave! And so fast! And so smart! Tim has the coolest best friend ever!
Conner flies forward in a blur. He’s punching and kicking and pulling hair. Tim’s father would say that kinda stuff is fighting dirty, but Tim thinks that its the least of what they deserve. They hurt Conner. They tried to kill him. They should be hurting from more than bloody noses and bruised heads.
Conner makes quick work of the guards and Tim slips into the elevator, hotwiring it to take them to the lobby level. Instead of exiting that way, Tim convinces Conner to go through the hatch at the top of the elevator box. Conner forces the doors open a level above and they take a fire escape out into the city of Metropolis. Conner sweeps up Tim again, and uses his superspeed to get them at least twenty blocks away in seconds. Conner is the best!
Tim pulls them into an alleyway as a cop car speeds past. Tim had picked this alley before hand, giving Conner directions to take them here once they got out of the building. Tim had also paid his parent’s driver to take his bag here and drop it behind a dumpster. It really pays to be rich. The bag contains changes of clothes for both of them, in multiple color options. Tim fixes a blonde wig over his dark hair and watches Conner stare at the three shirts in his hands.
“Is everything okay?” Tim asks. Conner looks like he’s about to cry. “I don’t know how to choose.” Conner whispers quietly. Tim grabs the shirts from Conner’s hands, setting them back in the bag. Then he holds Conner’s hands in his own. “You pick whichever you like best. Do you have a favorite color?” Tim asks. Too many choices can be overwhelming. Tim probably should have just brought one option, but he got excited.
“I don’t know my favorite color.” Conner says, still close to crying. Tim hugs Conner.
“That’s okay Conner. You just got here. Sometimes it takes time to pick a favorite. In the meantime, you can borrow my favorite color! It’s red.” Tim says as he leaves the hug and hands Conner the red t-shirt. Conner pulls it on and gives Tim a watery smile. Then Conner pulls on a leather jacket over the red shirt and grins, happy. Tim is totally killing this whole friend thing.
Once they’re both disguised, Tim and Conner join up with the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk. They follow close behind a young family all the way to Central Station. There, Tim buys them tickets for a train to Gotham, slipping extra cash to the employee so they don’t ask any questions. “I can’t believe Mom and Dad let me buy our tickets! And they gave me extra to tip! Isn’t this the coolest?” Tim says to Conner while they wait for their tickets to be printed. It would be way too much in Gotham. But adults in Metropolis really need you to sell it when you’re not with an adult.
They board their train. Conner’s been really quiet. Tim’s a little worried. But they reach their cabin on the train and take their seats.
“Hey Tim.” Conner starts. Tim turns and gives Conner his full attention. “Why did we have to pretend to be with that family?” Oh it’s another life out the pod thing. Tim can explain this easily. “‘Cuz adults get very nervous about children who aren’t supervised. Don’t worry, we should be good once we get to Gotham.”
Conner’s face pinches in thought. “Didn’t you come here with your parents? Why aren’t they just coming back with us?” Tim plays with a loose string from his felted seat. “They didn’t know about my plan to get you. And ‘sides they’re very busy and needed to get on a flight to the Caribbean so I was gonna halfta find my own way home anyway.” Tim looks up to see Conner’s eyes flash red briefly before he takes a few deep breaths.
“Ok, Tim. Are we living with them in Gotham?” Conner asks, tone neutral. Tim shakes his head. His original plan was to have Conner move into Drake Manor. But Tim has since confirmed that his neighbor is Batman. And Batman will definitely protect Conner. He adopts kids all the time and he works with Superman. As much as it hurts Tim to admit, it is probably better for his best friend to live with the Waynes.
“I’m gonna make Batman adopt you. He does that with lots of kids and he works with Superman. Who is probably a better parent than Luthor.” Tim admits to Conner. Too scared to look at his best friend, Tim stares at his bitten down nails.
“What about you?” Conner asks. Tim isn’t sure what he means. “What about me?” Tim asks.
“You can’t stay with them! They leave you all the time. Besides, I’ll miss you.” Conner says, crossing his arms and huffing. Oh. Tim’s cheeks heat up. “I’ll be next door whenever you need me.” Tim assures.
They fall into easier conversation for the rest of the train ride to Gotham Central Station. Tim leads Conner through a series of bus rides and line changes, all the way to Bristol. They stand side by side, looking at the imposing sight of Wayne Manor. Tim takes a deep breath and removes his wig. He presses the call button on the intercom for the gate. It rings twice before an elderly voice crackles through the speakers. “Wayne Residence.” The voice greets.
Tim puts on his best scared little kid voice. “Please, we need Mr. Wayne’s help!” He cries. Tim can feel Conner tense beside him, so Tim grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. The gate buzzes and swings open. Together, they trek up the long driveway to the front door. There, Mr. Pennyworth, the Wayne’s butler, opens the door and takes Tim’s bag with great care. Tim and Conner both pull off the rest of their disguises. Tim notices that Conner leaves his t-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket on. He must like them! Or least better than the lab jumpsuit they left behind in the dumpster in Metropolis.
Mr. Pennyworth leads both boys back to the kitchen, where Jason and Dick are helping with dinner. Tim and Conner are directed to sit down at the table. Tim plans to wait for Mr. Wayne before he eases into negotiating Conner’s adoption. But, apparently, Conner does not remember the plan. “Tim’s your neighbor.” Conner says, answering a not-so subtle stare from Dick. Jason gives Tim a confused look as he continues to stir whatever is in his bowl.
Mr. Wayne chooses that particularly tense moment to join everyone in the kitchen.
Tim leaps at his chance before anyone can spoil it.
“This is Conner. Lexcorp was making clones of Superman and splicing Luthor’s DNA and they were gonna kill him!” Tim takes a deep breath before continuing, ignoring everyone’s shocked expressions. “And I know you’re Batman and you know Superman and you adopt kids so you gotta adopt Conner and keep him safe and help him meet his other parent ‘cuz if you don’t I’m gonna reveal your identities as vigilantes!” By the time he finishes, Tim is shouting and standing up out of his seat. Okay, maybe he should’ve waited to play the blackmail card. But he got caught up in the moment. Sue him.
Jason is the first to react with something other than shock. He snickers and goes back to cooking. Tim can hears snippets of whatever Jason is mumbling under his breath.
“Two at once.” “The old man is screwed.” “Baby villain gonna give us all a run for Bruce’s money.”
Conner places a hand on Tim’s shoulder and guides him back down into his seat. “No way I’m moving in without Tim.” Conner says, glaring at the Waynes. Oh. Conner probably doesn’t trust them. Tim will have to fix that.
First, though, Tim will have to deal with Batman’s reaction to someone threatening to reveal his secret identity. Tim expects anger. Maybe even indignation. Certainly, some threats or something to intimidate the threat. Instead, Mr. Wayne’s face melts into something fond.
“You’re very smart for your age aren’t you?” Mr. Wayne asks. Tim crosses his arms and huffs, answering only with a shrug. Dicks snorts and goes back to cutting vegetables.
“How’d you two find each other?” Mr. Wayne asks. Tim sighs. “My parents sent me to conduct cor-por-ate es-pionage.” Making sure to enunciate all the syllables. “I was spying on Lexcorp when I learned about CADMUS. Found Conner. Rescued him.” Tim summarizes. Surely it can’t take this long for Robin to get Batman up to speed during patrol. How did they ever get anything done?
“And where are your parents now?” Mr. Wayne asks gently. Tim tenses. Adults don’t like it when Tim tells the truth about this kinda stuff. “They’re on a work trip.” Which is kinda true.
“Why don’t you just stay here with Conner until they come back?” Mr. Wayne asks.Tim shoots Conner a look. Conner shuts his mouth, since he was about to answer for Tim.
“I can’t intrude like that. They won’t be back for ages. You’re gonna be taking care of Conner. I’d just be adding an unnecessary burden.” Tim says. He isn’t even playing up the sadness he feels. It seeps into his voice and body involuntarily. Stupid feelings.
“Ages?” A voice pipes up from the kitchen. Jason’s head pops up from behind the counter. He must have been putting something in the oven. “How long is ages?” Jason asks, leaning on the counter and narrowing his eyes to give Tim a look over. Which is totally unfair, Tim can’t lie to Robin. “Like probably ten months? They said they’d be back for the summer gala which isn’t until next May.” Tim admits. Conner nudges Tim to get his attention, “Will they be having you spy on competitors again?” Tim nods, ashamed. He knows the spy game is bad. But it was really fun. And it was nice to have his parents around and spending time with Tim.
Conner stands up and stares down the Waynes. “You cannot send him back there. Tim talked to me all the time in the pod and like at times when a little kid should not be awake, plus his parents just left him in Metropolis without a way to get home. They didn’t know Tim was gonna bust me out. They left him there with armed guards looking for him.”
Tim pipes up in his own defense. “I am not a little kid! Besides, I find my own way home all the time.” Conner whips around to shoot Tim a look. “You’re eight Tim. That’s little.”
Tim scoffs, “And? You’re nine! You’re a little kid too!” Conner shakes his head, turning fully to face Tim. “I’m nine which is almost ten which is practically an adult anyway. You’re a kid. I’m a weapon. You need adults to look out for you, even if you don’t want them.”
“You’re only technically three weeks older than me because they gave you the wrong dose of growth hormones. That doesn’t count.” Tim grumbles defensively. Conner smirks. “Does too count!”
Dick interrupts by scooping them both up into a hug. Dick also lets out a noise of concern and then coos at them both. Conner and Tim lock eyes, having a silent conversation. Conner could bust them both out of Dick’s arms without breaking a sweat. All Tim has to do is give him the okay. But Tim lets the hug go on. It feels nice. And he doesn’t get a lot of them. Another set of arms wrap around them both and Jason is glaring at Mr. Wayne. “Neither of them are leaving without getting adopted. They’re ours now, old man. No take-backsies!!” Jason crows at Mr. Wayne.
They all end up eating dinner not long after Mr. Wayne steps out to call his lawyers. Mr. Pennyworth, who insists that they call him Alfred, makes sure both boys get heaping plates of food. Conner seems to be discovering a lot of new stuff he likes and doesn't like. Asking about the ingredients, their nutrients, and how to cook them.
Later, Tim starts a pun battle with Dick over dessert. Jason comes from behind and ends up winning.
Conner seems to be listening in on Mr. Wayne’s series of phone calls during most of their little competition. Which makes sense. Tim assumes that at least one of those calls are to Superman. If Tim had a parent he hadn’t met, he’d wanna know everything he could before he met him. When Jason and Dick head down to the cave to get ready for patrol, Alfred brings both Conner and Tim to their respective guest rooms in the family wing. Tim waits until Alfred goes downstairs before sneaking into Conner’s room. “Can I stay with you? I wanna have a sleepover.” Tim asks. Conner waves Tim over gratefully. His first night outside the pod can’t be easy. Plus Tim likes having company. Conner makes him feel safe. Tim and Conner whisper to each other until they drift off to sleep.
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Bruce is sitting at the Batcomputer after a very short patrol. His mind swims with the events of this evening. Tim Drake, his astonishing nextdoor neighbor, sprung a half-kryptonian maybe-clone child on him and now his lawyers are drawing up emergency custody papers for the almost nine year old Tim. Conner’s situation will be far more difficult to document, given that he has no birth certificate or social security number. But it will be immensely satisfying to get one over on Luthor. Plus then he’d have two more adorable sons too smart for their own good. Bruce had already gotten both Dick’s and Jason’s seal of approval to adopt both boys almost as soon as they were all down in the cave to change for patrol.
The conversation with Clark had gone interestingly. The Justice League has bumped CADMUS up their priority list. And Batman has opened a new investigation into the Drakes.
A soft set of footsteps on the stairs alerts Bruce to another presence in the cave.
“Yes?” He calls out. Conner’s face peeks out from around a corner. Bruce waves the child over.
“Are you okay Conner? You’ve been through a lot today.” Bruce says as Conner sits next to him in the chair Robin normally spins around in.
“You beat people up right?” Conner asks. It brings Bruce up short. “Sometimes. I never hit children.” Bruce responds slowly. Was CADMUS worse than they knew?
“I wanna know if it makes me a bad person that I beat up all those guards ‘cuz I wanted to impress Tim?” Conner says quietly, staring at his socked feet.
“Well, if you were protecting yourself or Tim, I think you did the right thing. You both seem like good kids who were doing their best in bad situations. Why did you want to impress Tim?” Bruce probably shouldn’t ask, this kid has no reason to trust him. But his curiosity gets the best of him.
“Because I like like him…” Conner mumbles. Bruce is not prepared for a maybe nine year old cross-species queer childhood crush. None of the parenting books he's read cover anything of the sort. Bruce slowly lays a gentle arm around Conner can gives a slight comforting squeeze, bringing the boy into his lap. “Those feelings are totally normal, Conner. Its okay to want to impress someone you like. But maybe not with violence next time, okay?” Bruce reasons. He makes a mental note to have Clark handle this later because Bruce is uncomfortable and frankly, Clark is better with the feelings advice than Bruce is. Not that he'd ever admit it to Clark's face. “You’re gonna protect Tim, right? His parents are bad.” Conner asks sleepily, frowning. Bruce hugs Conner tighter to his chest. “I promise I will do everything I can to keep you both safe.”
It isn't long before Conner falls asleep in his arms. Bruce carries him upstairs, finding a drowsy Tim in Conner’s room. As Bruce tucks them both under the covers, he wonders how he got so lucky.