Chapter Text
The music was loud, the bass was vibrating through the floor, rattling through everyone. The party was in full swing, bodies packed together in the dim, flashing lights, laughter and drunken shouting echoing over the blaring speakers.
Gyuvin doesn't know how many drinks he’d had. Enough to feel warm, enough to feel light, but not enough to be too drunk. He was leaning against the counter, drink in hand, half listening into whatever Matthew was loudly ranting about. Something about Taerae cheating at a drinking game.
And then he felt it.
Fingers slowly touching his wrist, he barely felt it at first but it was there. He turned to look and saw Ricky was close—too close, his gaze was half lidded, his lips parted slightly as he looked up at him through the low lighting.
Gyuvin blinked, brain lagging slightly.
Ricky didn’t say anything. Just slowly and easily leaned in, brushing against Gyuvin’s side like it was casual, like he wasn’t slipping his fingers around the alpha's wrist and tugging at him softly and insistently.
Gyuvin barely had time to think before he was moving, following without thinking, letting Ricky pull him away from the noise, from their friends.
And then suddenly, they were in some dim, tucked-away corner of the house, hidden from the crowd, where the music was still loud but felt a little muffled now, like it was just the two of them.
Gyuvin opened his mouth, about to ask what are you doing?
But Ricky was already on him.
His hands were in Gyuvin’s hair, pulling him down, lips crashing against his like he needed this, like he’d been waiting all night for it. His mouth was hot and a little messy from the alcohol. Gyuvin groaned, hands holding Ricky’s waist his fingers digging in.
Ricky pushed him harder against the wall, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, his lips curling slightly when Gyuvin let out a sharp gasp against his mouth.
Gyuvin was dizzy. Though he was sure it wasn't from the alcohol. His pulse was beating fast in his skin, as the omega bit down on his lower lip, tugging slightly before soothing the sting with his tongue.
Ricky pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes dark, lips kiss bruised. He was still smirking, but his breathing was just as uneven. Gyuvin swallowed. His hands tightened on Ricky’s hips, his fingers flexing like he needed to grab something, like he was trying to calm himself.
Ricky tilted his head, licking his lips. “Let’s go.”
Gyuvin didn’t need to ask where.
They slipped out of the party without anyone noticing, moving fast, barely speaking. Their hands brushed as they walked, but they didn't say anything. They weren't speaking and the silence wasnt awkward but it was filled with something they both knew was about to happen.
By the time they got to Gyuvin’s dorm, they weren’t even pretending anymore.
The door had barely shut behind them before Ricky was pushing him against it, his hands were in Gyuvin’s hair again, mouth claiming his like he owned him. Gyuvin groaned against his lips, his hands roaming over his best friend's back, pressing him closer and closer.
And before he knew it, he was already pressing Ricky up against the wall, pinning him there, their bodies flushed together, mouths clashing desperately.
Their bodies moved together in a slow and steady rhythm, Gyuvin was pressing in deep with every roll of his hips, his breath coming out hot and heavy against Ricky’s skin. The room was dark, the only light coming in to the room was light from the streetlight outside. Gyuvin buried his face in the crook of Ricky’s neck, his grip tightening on the other's waist, fingers pressing bruises into his skin. His voice was wrecked, raspy, almost desperate. “You feel so fucking good.”
Ricky clenched around him, just to hear that soft, choked whimper spill from Gyuvin’s lips. He smirked lazy and smug.
“Missed this,” Gyuvin panted against his skin, pressing him harder against the wall, thrusts slow but deep, dragging along every sensitive spot inside Ricky.
Ricky’s breath hitched, but he didn't want to let it show. He turned his face away, lips parting just slightly while his fingers were against Gyuvin’s shoulders. His voice was steady, almost unaffected. “We just hooked up two days ago.”
Gyuvin laughed a little breathless, his thrusts faltering just a little. “Yeah? And?” His grip tightened, holding Ricky in place as he buried himself even deeper. His lips brushed against Ricky’s ear, “Two days is too long.” he murmured, his voice was now husky.
Ricky’s nails dug into Gyuvin’s shoulders at that, he hated the way his stomach flipped at Gyuvin's words, the way his body betrayed him.
Their movements grew more frantic, more desperate, Gyuvin's pace became more rougher and Ricky barely had time to process it before the alpha was pulling him away from the wall, manhandling him easily and throwing him onto the bed. Ricky gasped as his back hit the sheets, but Gyuvin was already on him, spreading his legs and slotting himself between them, and sinking himseld back in with a groan.
"Fuck," Ricky breathed, hands flying to Gyuvin’s shoulders, his nails digging in hard enough to leave marks.
Gyuvin grunted, bracing himself over Ricky as he set a punishing pace, hips snapping forward in deep thrusts that had the omega gasping and moaning, his head tilting back against the pillow. His pretty pink lips parted, eyes hazy, already looking fucked-out.
Gyuvin groaned at the sight, pressing their bodies even closer. “God, Ricky—”
Ricky clenched around him again, just to watch Gyuvin’s composure crack, to hear the way his breath stuttered in his throat. His smirk barely had time to form before Gyuvin was fucking into him harder, faster, dragging moan after moan out of him.
The room smelled so much of their pheremones now, making Gyuvin slightly dizzy. "Ricky—" His voice was strained, panting against Ricky’s neck. "I’m close."
At that, Ricky’s eyes snapped open, galring at Gyuvin through his haze. "Don’t you dare knot me." he warned, but his voice was breathy, his flushed face and trembling thighs making it painfully obvious just how badly he wanted it.
Gyuvin smirked. "Liar."
Ricky opened his mouth about to retort but then Gyuvin’s hips stuttered, his breath catching, and then he was spilling inside, his knot swelling, locking them together.
"Fucking hell," Ricky gasped, head falling back as his body clenched around Gyuvin again, his own orgasm crashing over him.
Gyuvin wasn’t done, though. One hand slipped between them, wrapping around Ricky’s already-leaking cock, stroking him through it, dragging out every last orgasm, every last moan. Ricky’s thighs shook around him, his body writhing and oversensitive.
They stayed like that for a long moment, panting against each other, sticky and spent. Then Gyuvin leaned in, tilting Ricky’s chin up and pressing their lips together in a kiss. Ricky sighed into it, fingers curling in Gyuvin’s hair, letting himself sink into the kiss.
They won’t talk about this after. They never do. It’s just something they do, in empty classrooms, in the backseat of Ricky's car, in Gyuvin's dorm. And then the next day, they’ll go back to laughing in the cafeteria, pretending none of it ever happened.
For now, though, Gyuvin just kissed him again slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world and Ricky would let him.
Gyuvin's room was dark, save for the lights from outside coming in through the window. Their clothes were scattered on the floor making a trail leading to the bed. They both were still in bed, laying in the afterglow of the events from earlier. Ricky sighed contently as he stretched his arms over his head.
The room was still thick with the scent of their pheremones. Strawberries mixed with dark chocolate. Beside him, Gyuvin sprawled on his back, arms resting behind his head, looking entirely too pleased with himself. His hair was a mess, sticking to his forehead, and his chest rose and fell in steady, satisfied breaths. Ricky turned his head slightly, watching him with a lazy expression.
"You’re grinning like an idiot," Ricky muttered, voice still a bit hoarse from earlier.
Gyuvin turned to him. "Can you blame me? That was—"
"Yeah, yeah, amazing, life-changing, best night ever," Ricky cut him off, rolling his eyes. "You say that every time."
"Because it’s true every time," Gyuvin shot back. He shifted onto his side and propped his head with his hand "What? You want me to lie and say it was just okay?"
Ricky hummed noncommittally, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He glanced at the time—2:47 AM. Way too late, but at this point, their little arrangement had a pattern, late night texts, sneaking into each other’s dorms, no strings attached, and absolutely no talking about what this meant.
Gyuvin nudged his shoulder. "Hey, you’re quiet. You good?"
"Obviously." Ricky sighed, scrolling mindlessly through his phone. His body felt relaxed, his mind clear. Nothing about tonight felt any different from the dozen other times they’d done this.
Then, a tiny thought passed through the back of his mind. "...Did we—" He stopped.
Gyuvin raised an eyebrow. "Did we what?"
Ricky frowned slightly. "Never mind. It’s nothing."
Gyuvin shrugged, clearly uninterested in pressing further. "Alright."
And that was that. Neither of them acknowledged it again and neither of them mentioned that, for the first time in their not so secret string of hookups, they had forgotten to use protection.
—
Days passed and nothing really changed. Ricky didn’t feel any different, no unusual symptoms, no heat like sensations, just nothing. It was just another week of university life. Classes, group projects, lunch with their chaotic friend group, and stolen nights with Gyuvin.
Their secret arrangement continued without any problems
"You coming over tonight?" Gyuvin asked casually after class, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
Ricky didn't even look away from his phone. "Is that even a question?"
Gyuvin grinned. "Didn’t want to assume. Maybe you had a rich omega gala to attend or something."
"Ha ha," Ricky deadpanned, shoving Gyuvin’s shoulder as they walked across campus.
Honestly, Ricky didn’t reallg see a reason to stop. It felt good for the two of them, it was an outlet for when either of them were feeling stressed and most of all there was no emotional entaglement. They were both young, unattached, and having fun, that’s all this was.
Ricky groaned as he sat up, rubbing his temple. The moment he moved, a wave of nausea crashed over him, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. He barely had time to register the feeling before he bolted from his bed, making a beeline for the bathroom.
The moment he hit the toilet, everything came up. His fingers clenched the cold toilet as his body emptied itself of whatever he ate last night. It felt horrible and miserable. His throat burned, and his entire body felt shaky by the time he was done. He sat back on the bathroom floor, panting, eyes narrowed at nothing in particular.
What the hell?
He tried to think back to what he ate last night, some takeout with Gyuvin, maybe? Had it gone bad? It didn’t seem like Gyuvin had any issues, though.
He sighed and pulled himself up, rinsed his mouth from the awful taste, brushed his teeth and washed his face. He didn't feel sick though, at least not in the usual way. No headaches, burning sensations, no exhaustion, just that sudden nausea.
How Weird.
He brushed his thoughts aside. He probably ate something weird, it was probably nothing.
By midday, he was ready to commit a crime. Everything was so goddamn irritating.
Matthew and Gunwook were being their usual loud selves, laughing over some dumb joke. Ricky didn’t even know what it was, but the sound of their voices grated on his nerves. Taerae, was just humming to himself while scrolling on his phone, and Ricky had to physically stop himself from snapping. Yujin and Jiwoong were wrestling over some stolen snack, knocking into the table, sending Ricky’s coffee dangerously close to spilling. Jiwoong’s usual amused chuckles and Yujin’s yells made Ricky’s eye twitch. Even Hanbin and Hao, who were just sitting there, flirting in their usual way, somehow managed to piss him off.
And then there was Gyuvin. Literally just sitting next to him, doing absolutely nothing. His scent wasn't even that strong just his usual pheremones of dark chocolate. It wasn't too much nor was it suffocating because it was mostly toned down by the his scent blockers but for some reason, it was too much for Ricky.
Ricky let out a slow exhale through his nose trying to calm himself down.
What the hell is wrong with him today?
“Damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Gyuvin muttered next to him, picking up on his bad mood.
Ricky shot him a glare. “Shut up.”
Gyuvin blinked at him, clearly taken aback. Usually, Ricky would fire back with some smug remark or roll his eyes, but that was just hostile.
“…Alright, geez,” Gyuvin mumbled, lifting his hands in surrender. “Remind me not to sit next to you when you’re like this.”
“Then move,” Ricky snapped, crossing his arms, his irritation spiking up out of nowhere.
Gyuvin frowned. “…Dude, seriously, what’s wrong with you today?”
Ricky opened his mouth, ready to reply back something snarky but stopped himself and close it again, because he didn’t actually know.
Despite that weird irritation moment, Ricky didn't really think much about it, maybe he was just stressed. Midterms were coming up, professors were piling on assignments, and he barely had time to breathe between classes and dealing with his loud ass friends.
So, he ignored it, and when Gyuvin sent his usual text that night—"You up?"—Ricky answered the same way he always did.
"On my way."
Their arrangement continued, same as always. Late nights, tangled sheets, whispered insults between heated kisses. It was easy, familiar, even comforting in a weird way.
And yet Ricky still didn’t feel any different. Sure, the nausea came back a few times, but it was nothing major, just short sudden ones that usually died down before he even got to the bathroom. His irritation did lingered for a bit, but after a few days, it mellowed out.
Gyuvin didn’t seem to notice anything off about him either. If anything, he was just his usual annoying self—smug grins, teasing remarks, arms casually slung around Ricky’s shoulders whenever they were alone. He was relaxed, completely oblivious to any potential problem.
So Ricky told himself the same thing, everything is fine, he was just probably overthinking. But, the next morning as Ricky stared at the calendar on his phone, a frown on his face.
That can’t be right.
His heat tracker app was open, the dates staring back at him like they were mocking him. He was supposed to have gone into heat last week. Yet here he was fine, no warning signs, no discomfort, no shift in scent, nothing.
At first, he thought it was just stress. School had been draining, his sleep schedule was garbage, and his eating habits weren’t much better. Maybe his body was just off-balance. It wasn’t unheard of for an omega’s heat to be delayed due to stress, but a week later, Ricky still hadn’t gone into heat. At this point, he was starting to get annoyed. His body was acting weird for no reason and he hated feeling like he wasn’t in control.
Whatever. It wasn’t affecting his daily life, so he wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. So he kept up his routine, going to class, rolling his eyes at Gyuvin’s dumb jokes, texting Hao to meet up.
—
"You smell different."
Ricky blinked up from his drink, lips still pressed against his straw. "What?"
Zhang Hao gave him a curious look from across the cafe table. "I said, you smell different."
Ricky frowned, setting his cup down. "What are you talking about?"
The older omega tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing like he was figuring something out. "Your scent. It’s sweeter than usual. Not in a bad way, just… different."
Ricky scoffed, leaning back in his seat. "Please. I always smell good."
"You do," Hao agreed. "But this is different. It’s stronger too. Like you’re in pre-heat or something."
Ricky felt his stomach twist and it made him uncomfortable. Because no, that wasn’t possibl, he wasn’t in pre-heat because his actual heat never came.
So why would his scent be changing?
"I don’t know what you’re talking about," Ricky said, picking up his drink again. He took a slow sip from his drink acting unfazed. "You’re imagining things."
Hao didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push it. "Alright," he said, shrugging. "If you say so."
And just like that, the conversation moved on. But Ricky couldn’t shake the way his heartbeat picked up slightly at Hao’s words.
Ricky was trying to ignore it, he really was. The last thing he wanted to do was entertain the ridiculous thought in the back of his mind because it was ridiculous and completely insane. But after another three days, it was getting harder to pretend nothing was happening. especially when everyone else started noticing.
It started small. Matthew gave him a weird look in class, nose twitching slightly before squinting at him. “You change your cologne or something?” he asked, leaning in slightly.
Ricky raised a brow. “No.”
Matthew hummed, still looking at him with his head tilted. “Huh. You smell… different.”
Ricky rolled his eyes. “Hao already said that. You two are annoying.”
Matthew just snickered. “I’m just saying. You smell, like… sweeter? I dunno. It’s nice though.”
Ricky clicked his tongue. “Whatever.”
Later that day, Taerae said something similar. “Did you switch up your scent blockers?” he asked casually while they sat on the dorm couch.
Ricky gave him a glare. “No.”
Taerae shrugged, but there was something else in his expression. “You just smell warmer than usual. Almost like…” He trailed off, eyes narrowing slightly before shaking his head. “Never mind.”
“Like what?” Ricky asked, his jqw clenching.
Taerae hesitated, then grinned. “Like a strawberry dipped into chocolate.”
Ricky smacked his arm. “Shut the hell up.”
Taerae just laughed. But that weird, espression never left his face.
The final straw was Hanbin. Because, unlike the other three who were omegas. Hanbin was an alpha. And yet, when they were all hanging out later that night, Hanbin suddenly turned to Ricky with furrowed brows.
“…Are you okay?”
“Yeah? Why?”
Hanbin gave him a once over before speaking. “Your scent is different.”
Ricky stiffened. He was so sick of hearing that.
“What is wrong with you guys?” Ricky snapped, irritation flaring up. “Why is everyone suddenly obsessed with my scent?”
Hanbin blinked at his sudden outburst but he didn’t seem fazed. If anything, he just looked more curious. "It’s just stronger than usual,” Hanbin said, tilting his head. “It doesn’t smell bad, but it’s… noticeable. Like your hormones are shifting or something.”
Ricky’s stomach dropped at that. The mention of his hormones shifting made him shift on his seat. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.
No, there was no way.
Hanbin was still watching him closely, like he could smell the way Ricky’s emotions shifted. “Ricky,” he said, voice softer now. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Ricky forced a smirk, leaning back against the couch. “Obviously.”
Hanbin didn’t look convinced but Ricky didn’t give him the chance to question it further, already turning his attention back to his phone.
—
Later that night, Ricky stared at the ceiling, everything was quiet, the only sound being the faint hum of the air conditioning. He couldn't sleep. No matter how hard he tried to push it aside, his mind kept circling back over and over again to that night. It’s impossible, it had to be. Sure, they forgot that one time. But it wasn’t like that automatically meant—
Besides, after that, Gyuvin was careful. If he wasn’t using protection, he always pulled out just in time.
…Right?
Ricky sat up abruptly, his chest suddenly feeling tight. He squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand through his hair as frustration came over him. This was stupid, he was overthinking.
He wasn’t in heat that night. He wasn’t experiencing any actual symptoms, his scent was probably just reacting to stress. That happened sometimes.
If all of that is true, then why was his heat late?
Why did everyone keep commenting on his scent?
Why did he suddenly feel too aware of everything, from the way his body felt slightly off to the way he kept getting irritated for no reason?
Ricky exhaled sharply, gripping his blanket. He tossed and turned for another hour, trying to force himself to sleep, but no matter how tight he closed his eyes shut, no matter how many times he told himself he was fine.
The thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, there was one undeniable fact. They forgot protection that night. It wasn’t supposed to matter, it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, but what if—
He couldn't do this, he had to know.
It was late. Too late for most places to still be open, and Ricky was quickly getting irritated.
The first pharmacy he went to? Closed.
The second one? Also closed.
The third? Closed.
His clicked his tongue as he checked the map on his phone. This was stupid, coming out this late at night was stupid. He wasn’t even sure why he was bothering, he was probably just being paranoid but he needed to be sure.
Finally, after nearly giving up, he found one still open. The bright fluorescent lights stung his eyes as he stepped inside, the staffs greeting him quietly. He didn't pay them any mind. He immediately went straight to the omega section, scanning the shelves. Heat suppressants, scent stabilizers, pheromone sprays—where the hell were they?
After what felt like searching for hours, he finally spotted them. Small boxes lined up neatly, some advertising early detection, others promising high accuracy. Ricky grabbed a few random, stuffing them hastily into his basket with slightly shaking hands.
It wasn’t until he was standing at the checkout counter that it really hit him.
He was actually doing this.
His pulse was loud in his ears as the cashier rang him up, but he kept his expression blank, forcing himself to act normal. This wasn’t a big deal, it was just so he could stop overtjinkin, that was all.
Because there was no way he was actually—
Ricky swallowed hard, immediately grabbing the bag before heading straight back to his dorm. He just needed to take the test, then he could put this whole thing behind him.
Ricky sat on his bed, staring at the plastic bag on his nightstand like it personally offended him.
He should just take the test and get it over with, but his body wouldn't move His mind was racing, every possible outcome going through his head. He took a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face.
After what felt like forever, he finally stood up, grabbed the bag, and headed to the bathroom. He set down the test on the sink, Ricky paced back and forth, running a hand through his hair. He felt like a coward, but his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
He kept telling himself he’d do it.
"Alright, I’ll take it in ten seconds."
"Okay, after I take one more deep breath."
"Maybe I’ll just wait until the morning—"
"No."
Gritting his teeth, he snatched up the test, his stomach twisting as he followed the instructions. Then he set it down and waited, five minutes had never felt so long.
He sat on the edge of the bathtub, leg bouncing. He was overthinking again, what he would do if it was positive, what he would do if it was negative, how the hell he even got to this point.
Then the test beeped.
Ricky’s breath hitched. Slowly, he stood up, heart thudding against his ribs. He stepped closer to the sink, and picked up the test.
there, clear as day two lines.
His stomach dropped. His fingers tightened around the plastic stick, like if he gripped it hard enough, the result would change.
But it didn’t.
The bathroom felt too small, the air too suffocating. His vision blurred slightly as his mind went blank, then exploded all at once.
No.
No. No. No. No.
This wasn’t happening, but the test in his shaking hand said otherwise. Ricky exhaled shakily, his knees feeling weak. He gripped the edge of the sink, forcing himself to breathe. His breathing was uneven, chest rising and falling too fast.
His mind was racing. What was he supposed to do? He can’t tell Gyuvin, he won’t tell Gyuvin.
What if Gyuvin doesn’t take it well?
What if he looks at him in disgust?
What if this ruins everything?
Their arrangement had always been casual. No strings, no complications, just fun. They never talked about feelings, never talked about the future.
Gyuvin had his whole life ahead of him. They both did, they were still in college, young, with dreams and goals to chase. He can’t ruin that, he couldn’t drag Gyuvin into this, he couldn’t put this weight on him. What if Gyuvin walked away? What if he wanted nothing to do with him anymore?
Ricky squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling sharply through his nose. His scent spiked in distress and he hated it.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
He couldn’t tell his best friend, he couldn’t tell Gyuvin. He couldn’t even tell Hao, who he thought of as an older brother figure. He didn’t know what to do, he really didn’t know what to do.
That night Ricky barely slept. When he did doze off, his mind kept jolting him awake, his thoughts a mess of panic and denial and by the time morning rolled around, he felt like hell.
But he couldn’t let anyone know. So he forced himself to get up, take a long shower, and make himself look normal. He fixed his hair, dressed like he always did, and put on his usual cool, unreadable expression. As if nothing had changed, as if his world hadn’t just flipped upside down overnight.
When Ricky arrived at the campus cafe where the others were hanging out, everything felt too normal. Hanbin and Hao were sitting close as usual, sharing a drink. Taerae was talking about some new song he was obsessed with. Jiwoong and Mattew were arguing over something stupid. Yujin and Gunwook were wrestling over a piece of bread like wild animals.
Then there was Gyuvin, casually sprawled out on the seat next to Ricky’s usual spot, looking at his phone. paused for half a second before sitting down, one seat farther than he normally would.
Gyuvin barely noticed. “Yo.” He greeted.
Ricky nodded stiffly, greeting him back as casually as he could “Yo.”
His hands curled into fists under the table. He was fine, this was fine. But when Gyuvin turned to him, grinning about something dumb, Ricky suddenly couldn’t look at him. His throat felt tight, and the weight of what he was hiding pressed down hard on his chest.
So he looked away and kept looking away. He didn’t meet Gyuvin’s eyes when he spoke, barely reacted when Gyuvin nudged him, he gave short responses whenever Gyuvin addressed him directly.
It didn’t take long for Gyuvin to notice.
“Damn, did I do something?” he asked, laughing lightly, but there was confusion in his tone. “You’re acting like I owe you money or something.”
Ricky forced a smirk. “You do owe me money.”
Gyuvin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, put it on my tab.”
Ricky’s fingers curled around his cup. His pulse was loud in his ears. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. But Ricky felt like he couldn't breath because Gyuvin was right there, so casual and so clueless about the secret Ricky was hiding.
Few more days passed, and Ricky was falling apart. He thought he could handle it. Just keep acting normal, keep his distance, and pretend like everything was fine.
When in truth, nothing was fine, he was spiraling.
Avoiding Gyuvin was easier said than done. The first few times, it was just small things, dodging eye contact, leaving group hangouts early, letting Gyuvin’s texts go unanswered for a few hours, until it turned into ignoring Gyuvin completely.
He stopped replying altogether, stopped showing up to their usual spots on campus, stopped joining their group hangouts, even when Taerae and Matthew spammed the chat demanding an explanation from him.
His phone was full of unread messages and missed calls from Gyuvin.
[Gyuvin] (3:21 PM)
yo ricky where u at
[Gyuvin] (5:47 PM)
ur ignoring me?? tf
[Gyuvin] (7:09 PM)
ricky??
[Gyuvin] (11:56 PM)
bro seriously what’s going on
Ricky didn't answer any of them because he didn't even know how to face him anymore.
—
He barely made it through his classes anymore. His body was exhausted, his head aching from lack of sleep, and his scent was off. It was too unstable and he was sure distress was always clinging to his scent now. He knew people were starting to notice, especially his friends, but no one outright said anything.
Except for Hao.
“You look horrible,” He said bluntly one afternoon as they sat on the empty rooftop of the music building.
"Thanks." Ricky saud sarcastically and scoffed, pulling his hoodie tighter around himself.
Hao frowned, shifting closer. “Ricky. What’s going on?”
Ricky’s grip tightened on his sleeves. “Nothing.”
Hao gave him a look, the kind of look that meant don’t bullshit me. Ricky swallowed. His throat was dry, and the words were right there at the tip of his tongue, aching to be said.
But he didn't say a word, he wouldn't. So he just stood up, brushing his hands against his jeans. “I should go.”
Hao sighed, exasperated. “You’re not even trying to act normal anymore. Do you think I haven’t noticed? You’re avoiding Gyuvin like the plague.”
“I’m busy.”
Hao raised an eyebrow. “Bullshit.”
Ricky clenched his jaw, refusing to meet the other omega's eyes.
“Ricky.” Hao’s voice was softer now. “Seriously. Whatever’s going on, you don’t have to go through it alone.”
Ricky inhaled sharply and looked at Hao in the eyes, and for a split second, he almost broke, he almost spilled everything right there. But he pushed them down and shook his head. "I gotta go." He tried to exuse himself once more.
Before Hao could say anything else, Ricky was already walking away.
Later that night, Ricky laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling like he was going to lose his mind.
Everything was breaking, his emotions, his control—himself.
And the worst part?
He missed Gyuvin, yet he didnt know if he could even look him in the face anymore.
Ricky curled into himself, gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. His mind wouldn’t shut up.
What am I supposed to do?
What if I can’t do this?
What if I ruin everything?
What if I ruin Gyuvin’s life?
His vision blurred, his throat closing up. He felt trapped, like no matter what he did, he was going to mess everything up. If he told Gyuvin, what then? Would Gyuvin be disgusted? Would he leave? Would he hate Ricky for this?
And if he didn’t tell him… then what? How long could he keep this up? How long before someone else figured it out?
His scent was already changing, people were noticing. Hao knew something was wrong, Hanbin had given him concerned looks more than once, even Matthew had started texting him more than usual. But Ricky couldn’t talk to them. He couldn’t talk to anyone, he didnt know how to anymore.
I can’t do this.
The thought echoed in his mind, again and again. His eyes burned, but he squeezed them shut, refusing to let the tears fall.
He didn’t cry, Ricky never cried, but right now, alone in the dark, drowning in his thoughts, he was so close to breaking.
He needed to get out, he couldn’t stay in this room, in this silence, in his own head any longer. Before he could think twice, Ricky grabbed his jacket and left.
Ricky’s hands shook as he scrolled through his contacts, his breathing ragged.
Hao.
His thumb hovered over the call button, his mind screaming at him to just put the phone down, to keep pretending he was fine.
But he couldn’t do this alone anymore, so he pressed the button. The phone barely rang twice before Hao picked up.
"Ricky?"
The moment he heard Hao’s voice, something inside him snapped. “H-hyung—” Ricky’s voice cracked, and that was all it took for the tears to spill over, he gripped his phone tightly.
Hao’s tone immediately shifted to something like alert. “Where are you?”
“I—” Ricky sucked in a shaky breath. “I don’t know.” His voice faltered. He heard movement on the other end, Hao must probably already be getting up. “Are you at your dorm?”
Ricky squeezed his eyes shut. “N-No. I left. I just—” His throat ached, words getting caught in his throat. “I c-can’t—”
"Okay," Hao said gently. “It’s okay. Just tell me where you are, and I’ll come to you.”
Ricky wiped his face, trying to steady himself. He glanced around, realizing he had walked aimlessly through the campus until he reached the empty park near the dorms. “The park. Near the dorms.”
"Stay there. I’m coming." Hao’s voice was firm, no hesitation. “Just breathe, Ricky. I’m on my way.”
The call ended, and Ricky lowered his phone, his whole body trembling. Ten minutes felt like an eternity. Ricky sat on one of the benches, his arms wrapped around himself, trying to keep his breathing steady. His thoughts were still racing, but knowing Hao was coming helped keep him from spiraling too deep.
“Ricky.”
A familiar scent, warm soothing jasmine wrapped around him before he even looked up. The moment he did, seeing Hao standing there, concern all over his face—
Ricky broke. He collapsed completely into Hao’s arms. The older boy caught him easily, holding him steady as Ricky clung onto him, his whole body shaking.
“Hyung,” Ricky choked out.
“I’m here,” Hao murmured, rubbing slow circles on Ricky’s back. “I’ve got you.”
Ricky couldn’t form words. Feeling Hao's arms wrapped around him, he felt all his walls crumble, all of the emotions he had been suppressing for weeks all came crashing down at once.
He sobbed and sobbed. The ugly and broken kind of sobbing. The kind where he couldn’t breathe because of all the tears and the kind where his body shook with every sob.
Hao just held him. Not saying anything at first, just rubbing slow, steady circles on the younger's back, trying to offer as much comfort as he can.
“It’s okay,” Hao murmured softly. “Let it out.”
Ricky clutched onto him tighter, burying his face in Hao’s shoulder, his tears soaking into the fabric of Hao’s sweater.
“You’re okay,” Hao whispered. “I’ve got you, Ricky. You’re not alone.”
Ricky's breath hitched as more sobs washed over his body.
You’re not alone.
It had been so long since he let himself believe that. For days, he had been spiraling alone, drowning in his fears, convinced that no one could know, that he had to handle this by himself.
But right now, he wasn’t alone. Hao was here, offering his presence and comfort even if still doesn't know what happened for Ricky to break down like this so suddenly.
Minutes passed, maybe longer, before Ricky’s sobs finally started to quiet. His body was still slightly trembling, but he wasn’t gasping for air anymore. Hao didn’t rush him. He just kept holding him, his hand still rubbing soothing circles against Ricky’s back.
When Ricky finally spoke, his voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”
Hao’s arms tightened around him slightly, like he wanted to shield Ricky from the world itself. “Then we’ll figure it out,” Hao said, voice steady, like it was the simplest truth in the world.
Ricky exhaled shakily, his fingers still clutching Hao’s sweater. “I’m scared.”
“Its okay,” Hao murmured. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
More minutes passed, more silence stretched between them. Ricky’s breathing had evened out, but his grip on Hao’s sweater was still tight, his whole body still tense.
Then, so quietly, a whiper Hao would have definitely missed if he wasn't paying full atention, Ricky finally spoke again.
“…I’m pregnant.”
The words were so small, so fragile, like if he said them any louder, the weight of them would crush him completely.
Hao stilled, he felt like his heart stopped for a second before it started pounding loudly, his mind scrambling to process what he just heard.
Pregnant.
Ricky was pregnant.
Hao felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. His thoughts spun wildly—how? when?—but he forced himself to stay still, to keep his expression calm, as to not overwhelm Ricky more than he already was, because Ricky was still trembling in his arms, still barely holding himself together.
Hao swallowed down his own panic and exhaled slowly, keeping his voice as steady as possible befote he asked. “…How long have you known?”
Ricky hesitated, then whispered, “A few days.”
Hao nodded slowly, mind working through the timeline. A few days. That meant Ricky had been carrying this secret alone—no one to talk to, no one to lean on.
It made Hao’s heart ache.
After a long pause, Hao carefully asked, “Do you… know who the father is?”
His question was met with silence, Ricky didn’t answer. He felt Ricky stiffen slightly, his grip on the older omega's sweater loosening.
He didn’t push nor did he demand for any answer. Instead, he simply said. “Okay.”
Rght now, Ricky needed
comfort more than he needed questions. Hao wasn’t going to let him go through this alone.
He waited.
Ricky still hadn’t moved from his arms, still hadn’t answered the question. Hao could sense the younger thinking.
“…It’s Gyuvin.”
Hao froze, for a second he thought he misheard but the way Ricky tensed, the way he curled in on himself as if expecting the worst, told him he hadn’t.
Gyuvin.
Hao felt his own mind reel.
Gyuvin and Ricky.
Shock was evident across the older omega's face before he managed to calm his expression. He was trying to piece everything together.
“…How long?” Hao asked carefully. “How long has this been going on?”
Ricky sniffled, his voice barely above a whisper. “Since… since a few months ago.”
“Months?” Hao asked, not quite believing it.
Ricky nodded. “It wasn’t supposed to be… serious. We weren’t even supposed to keep doing it. It just… happened.” His voice cracked, his hands tightening into fists. “We never talked about it. We just—kept going, pretending it was nothing.”
Hao sucked in a sharp beath. Months, they had been doing this for months. Looking back, it wasn’t that surprising. Gyuvin and Ricky had always been close, always around each other in a way that sometimes felt… different, but Hao had brushed it off as just their usual weird, clingy best friend dynamic.
He never thought, Never even imagined anything and now, Ricky was pregnant. Ricky, who was still shaking, who looked so lost, who was breaking down all over again as he continued speaking.
“I don’t know what to do, Hao,” Ricky choked out, his voice breaking even more. “I—what if Gyuvin—what if he doesn’t want this? What if he looks at me differently? What if I ruin everything?”
Hao didn't think twice, he pulled Ricky into his arms, holding him tightly. “You’re not ruining anything, Ricky,” he murmured, his voice steady. “You’re not alone in this.”
Ricky buried his face in Hao’s shoulder again, shoulders shaking as new sobs took over his body. Hao tightened his grip around Ricky, feeling the younger omega's body shake with every sob. His heart ached, he had never seen Ricky like this before. Ricky, who always held himself so confidently and effortlessly, who always brushed things off with a smirk and an eye roll.
Now, he was unraveling right in Hao’s arms.
“You need to tell him,” Hao said gently. “Ricky, Gyuvin needs to know.”
But Ricky just shook his head violently, his sobs growing louder.
“I can’t,” he cried. “Hyung, I can’t.”
“Why?” Hao asked, chest tightening.
Ricky pulled back slightly, just enough for Hao to see the sheer panic in his glassy eyes. His lips trembled as he spoke. “What if he—” Ricky’s voice broke, but he forced himself to continue. “What if he pushes me away? What if he hates me? What if he looks at me like I ruined his life?” His breathing turned erratic, and his hands fisted into Hao’s sweater, clinging desperately. “We’re still in college. We’re not ready for this. I—I am not ready for this. And Gyuvin—he—he has his whole life ahead of him. I can’t—I won’t—ruin it for him.”
Hao’s heart clenched. This wasn’t just fear, this was absolute terror. Ricky wasn’t just afraid of what Gyuvin would say, he was afraid of losing Gyuvin completely.
“Ricky,” Hao started softly. “I get it. This is huge, and it’s scary, and you feel like everything is coming to an end for you.” He reached out, placing his hands firmly on Ricky’s trembling shoulders. “But listen to me, Gyuvin deserves to know. No matter what happens, he deserves to know. Again, you're not going to ruin anything by telling him.”
Ricky’s breath hitched, and he shook his head again, more frantic this time. “I—I can’t. I can’t do it.”
Hao squeezed his shoulders. “Then I’ll help you.”
Ricky looked at him, eyes red and puffy. “What?”
“I’ll be there. You don’t have to do it alone.”
Ricky bit his lip hard, looking like he wanted to argue but the exhaustion in his face was undeniable. He had been carrying this secret, this fear, alone for days now. Hao gave him a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to decide right now,” he said. “Just… promise me you’ll think about it, okay?”
Ricky swallowed thickly, then gave the smallest nod. “…Okay.”
Hao exhaled, relief washing over him. It wasn’t much, but it was something, for now, he would take it.